This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Well, I hope Sasheen starting to make sense to you. Maybe not so much sense in the way that your mind creates sense. More in the way, your body, something below the ruminations of mind, below the figuring out. Something different from what made sense that brought you here. conjured up the idea that this was a good thing to do.

[01:03]

It seems to my mind that in Shishin there's an initiation. oh, this is what it's about. And I would add, and we're never done clarifying that. It's not like, okay, now I got it, this is what it's about. No, each time we come, we're renewing that process.

[02:04]

And then we see how it turns out in that particular Sashin. The odd mix of, yes, this is indeed the culmination of our dedication. This is indeed the deep vow of our being alive. And maybe in the meantime we'll explore everything else. we're in the midst of that everything else will keep popping up so attempting whether it was a good idea or not to address this great matter of life life and death young chance Case 32 of the Book of Serenity, Yangshan's Mind and Environment.

[03:15]

Yangshan asked the monk, where are you from? Yesterday I went around adjusting postures. something amazingly not majestic but reverend about seeing people sitting upright still putting their whole life on the Dharma seat what compassion that culminates in that happening so just bearing witness to it has an extraordinary impact and then to get closer and to start to sense

[04:47]

that each of those noble bodies and minds like an electric, somatic event brought about by a lifetime of being. One thing I've learned, or I think I've learned, sometimes I've learned, But adjusting posture is don't make any assumptions. Don't try to make what you think happen. But initiate exploration. of attitude the the aliveness of the human body starts to become apparent how that particular person's human body how in that particular moment it's being related to

[06:14]

Someone told me once that there's a kind of acupressure that's being explored or developed in Japan where the practitioner doesn't even touch the body, just hovers just above the acupressure point. inside that body inside that mind inside that beating heart those breathing lungs those limbs searching for some state of openness and ease a universe of being and outside Just the card.

[07:28]

How do I come in contact with that universal being? What does a light touch create? How does that light touch responded to in inside that human body the thoughts the feelings stimulating their own touching and respond offered this your hand opens and closes and opens and closes as if it were always a fist if it were always a fist or always stretched open you'd be paralyzed your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding

[08:53]

your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings one of the analogies of the interplay of wisdom and compassion is that they balance each other like the wings of a bird as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings. Maybe the first part of the introduction to the coin says that. The ocean is the world of dragons disappearing and appearing. They sport serenely. The sky is the home of cranes.

[09:59]

They fly and call freely. is this every small contracting and expanding is it really that so early exquisite touching those bodies seeming like feeling some deep involvement in being alive some deep struggle some tentative exploration some stuck contracting some stuck expanding the second part of the introduction goes on like this

[11:08]

Why does the exhausted fish stop in the shoals in contrast to the dragon sporting serenely and the sluggish bird rest in the reeds in contrast to the cranes serene in the sky. Is there any way figure gain and loss your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding but haven't we been taught stillness haven't we been taught abiding in ease and openness we're getting close to as we start to settle in Sushin.

[12:25]

It may be each of us in our own way. Knowing very well a great way is beyond picking and choosing. introduces. Yes, I know. However, the way I'm feeling right now, I'd like some adjustment. And then I'll be able to stop picking and choosing. How to include that have the courage to open to that. I was struck yesterday by the courage touching the body and it responds.

[13:49]

Some courageous act of being part of what's happening. In some way, something within us wants to be alive, wants to deeply connect to its aliveness. And I would say to you, this initiation in Sushin. If we simply settle for, okay, well, here's my strategy. Here's how I'm gonna do it. Here's how I'll get through that.

[14:57]

Suzuki Roshi fiercely said, Sushin, It's like this. You're in a rowboat. You row out into the middle of the ocean and then the rowboat sinks. I remember when I first read that and I thought, did he really say that? That sounds way too scary to say. Paramita is giving. But the good news is giving and receiving always arise together. We give attention. We receive experience. This is the way things are. Michael, you can close the doors.

[16:06]

is asking us, offering us the opportunity to give attention. In the dharmas it says, giving overcomes fear and promotes courage. the body, the body gives attention. Doing posture adjustment in the intimacy of Zazen, sometimes it almost seems like even touching is too much. I would suggest to you, each of us in our own way has this somatic electricity.

[17:36]

Each of us in our own way is the great mystery of life and death. And somehow, maybe because we're so wise, or maybe because we're so deluded, we're taking our Dharma seat. And we take that Dharma seat. And Young Shine asks this, each one of us. you from sitting here sitting now giving attention what's the echo what's the reverberation of where you're from of how this life has come to be

[18:56]

When my mother was annoyed with me, she would say, you almost killed me giving birth to you. Which I thought was a great thing to say. To my own defense, I thought, well, you know, I was just getting used to being alive. The story is this. They put me on a scale, the scale went up to 14 pounds and I topped out past 14 pounds. So they wrote down 15 pounds. And apparently, it was such a process that it stayed in my mother's mind as a notable experience. And some mothers do give their life, giving birth to another life.

[20:19]

Where do you come from? What stories, what memories, what physical holdings or releasings energies will arise from where you come from during this session. Is there any appropriateness in all in casually calling it me or calling it my life? When our body just the slightest touch declares it an electric somatic universe through which the breath flows moment by moment inhaling and exhaling

[21:39]

opening, contracting. And the mind. So much to say for itself. So many images and ideas and memories. where you from amongst his you province do you think of that place my back thinks of that place my hips think of that place my shoulder blades think of that place my neck my knee joints and

[22:48]

My mind thinks about it too. I always think of it. It's what made me. It's what I am. It's in my bones. The thinker is the mind and the thought of is the environment. Wherein there's mountains, rivers, landmass, buildings, towers, halls, chambers, people, animals, and so forth. Reverse your thought. To think of the mind, thinking mind. Are there so many things there? Yes. Apparently endless. when they pause.

[23:53]

Except in those moments the simplicity of here and now just presents itself. The sound of the truck. The quality of light in the room. And as we enter into Shashin and discover this interesting mix, the nobility of our upright sitting becomes both palpable and mysterious. This body that we call me

[25:02]

has all sorts of experiences. Sometimes the electricity of it, the energy of it is discomforting. And then sometimes the opposite. Admittedly, sometimes the bell has to ring You unfold your legs, you get to stand up before sukha, pleasant experience, arises. All this is a process of initiation. Sutras say, if you simply stay inside our karmic constructs and leave them unexamined, unchallenged as the reality, these subtle ways of being are invisible.

[26:28]

They're unaccessible. Your deepest present is in every small contracting and expanding. In one of the verses in the book of Serenity, it says, why does this intimacy feel like enmity? delicate process. As we settle in, as we get closer, it seems like enmity and bliss are interwoven. Fortunately, sometimes the sukha can be more available.

[27:36]

Sometimes not. I would say to you, lower your standards. You know, all I'm really saying is don't be surprised if they both appear. Of course you would prefer the Sukkah. Of course you prefer your mind to be deeply settled and concentrated and seeing the subtle workings of conditioned existence. We all would. But this human life will express itself in its own way. And then in the midst of this, the simplicity of our practice.

[28:39]

Be aware you're aware when you're aware. consciousness will return to awareness. Can you remind yourself? Can you train yourself? When that happens, soak it up. Be part of it. Experience it. When it's mostly mental, notice, acknowledge. If that opens the door, a more sensate experience experience experience the experience will that sweep away the clouds and let the cranes fly and the dragons swim it might and it might not

[29:50]

The extraordinary patience of sitting is stay with whichever one of those arises. And the extraordinary renunciation of practice is pleasant or unpleasant, don't grasp it, don't push it away. that request will ask moment by moment for everything we've got. And will we give everything we've got? Probably not. Is it possible to not give everything you've got? No.

[31:00]

You are part of what's existing. Even your aversion is giving everything you've got. But subjectively how it's experienced when we let the mind go off into some construct that entrances it and disconnects from the experience. But still the electric somatic body is vibrating in its being. Still the heart is pulsing and the breath is breathing. Still they offer us a way to return. many times do we need to go through this before we get the message it's a good question maybe once so how many things are there when you're caught up and then turn to see that mind

[32:34]

and see what's thought of. Oh, when I get there, there's nothing permanent. As Rumi says, contracting and expanding. Maybe the challenge for us is that we dismiss the energetic involvement in what's going on, because it doesn't have the qualities that we're demanding. It should be concentrated, it should be easeful, it should be accompanied by sukha, physical pleasant sensation, and pitti, mental pleasant sensation. And then the response, this is it.

[33:46]

This is what I came for. Maybe. And Yongshan says, Being willing to immerse is an expression of trust. Being willing to open and experience it. Being willing to let the inhale happen. As if it were being born. As if it were the vehicle of life. Being willing to exhale as if everything that had arisen was being let go.

[34:59]

Maybe we earn that trust through our own experience. give some attention, some involvement in me, dissipates some or a lot, and it doesn't kill us. In fact, usually the after effect is positive. There's a loosening, there's a lightening. there's a trust in being alive hmm does that mean I'm willing to do it again hmm does that mean I want to conceptualize that and own it and think about it in the safety of me

[36:23]

Youngshan offers this. He says, this is right for the stage of trust, but not yet ready, not yet right for the stage of personal. and the stage of person insists upon itself. That electric somatic body will not switch off. It will continue to request attention

[37:34]

experiencing. It will keep breathing. And in the Zen school, that's our great ally. Of course, it's a first-class nuisance when that extraordinary electric somatic body hurts like hell. in principle it's simple sit with it while you can sustain an open awareness and when you can't move don't move in anticipation of discomfort and don't thrash around in discomfort squirming, contracting either way find the middle path that sustains awareness let your body teach you that kind of precision

[39:06]

and the breath an extraordinary ally in the shifting attention from inhale pause exhale pause adapting the pliability the versatility the expanding and contracting extraordinary ally when the agitations of body and mind and emotion are demanding contraction just let it arise let it in with the inhale Let the body expand like the dragon entering the ocean, like the crane in the endless sky.

[40:24]

And releasing with the exhale. Not suppression, not avoidance, not dissociation. Something simpler. the amazing capacity of awareness to be aware. In the hearing, hear. In the hearing the sign to the truck, hear the sign to the truck. in the seeing see in the walking walk and training in the process of pause when awareness arises

[41:56]

Where in karmic mind all this seems an exotic imposition. Distracting us from the urgencies of our karmic life. That we need to think about. We need to emote about. We need to somatize. But as we continue with a steady practice, these guidances, these ways to touch what's happening, we start to appreciate their wisdom. We start to appreciate their compassion. The request for patience. seems appropriate.

[43:13]

The courage they offer seems like a gift worth receiving. The trust to be what we already are seems an appropriate response. Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you'd be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding. The two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.

[44:20]

cynic in me is relieved here. Then why does the exhausted fish stop in the shoals? The sluggish bird rest in the reeds. How strange it is to be a human being. strange it is to say, okay, I will take a week out of my precious life and give it to Shishin. And then discover in the doing of it, it seems like anything other than a straight line of intention. that this human organism seems to have endless variety to just sit to just be and let that reveal and reveal and reveal

[46:00]

flesh, bones and marrow saturated. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[46:51]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_97.25