This podcast is offered by San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Welcome everybody here and welcome everybody online. Thank you for being here. I don't take it for granted. Thank you. And my name is Lorenzo. And during this practice period, where I'm more or less at the end of it with this session, I've been invited to be Shusso, head monk. And this Dharma talk is part of the training that Shusso is asked to go through. Thank you, Christina, very much. for inviting me, supporting me, guiding me throughout.

[01:05]

Thank you. I've been feeling very moved this morning since Christina read that poem at the beginning of Zazen. a poem that speaks about breeze. Because it brought me back to the Gringardz Zendo many years ago. And maybe some of the people here who have been practicing Gringardz might remember this. I think it was during a session or an intensive led by senior Dharma teacher Tenshin Reb Anderson. And at some point in the dark of the Zendo, he said, this breeze may have something for you.

[02:11]

There was a little breeze across the Zendo. It was completely silent. And he didn't speak very often during Zazen. So you would notice that he would say something when he said something. And he said, this breeze may have something for you. And every time I feel a breeze, somehow my mind goes to that moment and goes to the deep gratitude I feel for senior Dharma teacher Tenshin Reb Anderson, who helped me through many years of the beginning of my practice until I met Christina, and actually I don't even know if I would have met Christina if it was not because of Reb. Thank you for that poem. It was beautiful. So I would like to begin today with an offering by Tenshin Reb Anderson that, to me, reads like an ode to our specific sashim, even though it was...

[03:26]

given, written many years ago, many, many years ago, I think. Here it goes. Begin this session by listening to your body. Listen to that which is affected by light and sound, tastes and odors, and tactile things such as heat, cold, pressure, roughness, and smoothness. Listen to something that is upright, something that responds to these phenomena. This is similar to saying, please listen to the silence. By listening to your body, perhaps you can better understand that silence has structure, that silence is not nothing.

[04:37]

There is a function in silence. There is responsiveness in silence. Sitting still and listening to the body may reveal this structure, function, and responsiveness. So while sitting still, please listen to the body. I'm suggesting this as a way to realize peace in the midst of suffering. Listen to the body. I'll reread later, maybe at the end. So Se Shin is, I would say, probably one of the most, no, I would say, it is one of the most formal, extensive periods of practice for Zenies, for in Zen practice.

[05:51]

And we engage in specific forms pretty much all the time. All the time. that we are together and sometimes even when we are on our own. Noble silence and the many suggestions to slow down we have received during this practice period are like freckles of this practice period. Give us an incredible opportunity to actually become aware or more aware of the forms we engage in. And I'm speaking mostly of non-verbal forms, of course, because we're not talking to each other. And not only Zen forms, but all sorts of forms, again, including the ones you may engage in when nobody's watching.

[06:53]

What comes to my mind is a Dharma talk that I wish I We're sure about her name, Esho maybe. She was a chair of the Soto Shu school. She's from New York. Esho maybe, yeah. Gave some time ago here when we were still closed for COVID. And so it was an online Dharma talk. And she concluded, she had spent quite a bit of time in Japan and she concluded this Dharma talk. with almost like a samurai voice saying, what is your practice when nobody's watching? And I thought it was a fantastic question to ask as a closing statement of the Dharma talk. So I would like to speak a little bit about forms and not so much about what form is appropriate when, but rather about our relationship with forms.

[07:58]

How do we relate to them? And I think it's very interesting for us to become aware of the forms we engage in really when nobody's watching. So I have a little secret, chusseau secret, to tell you. I mean, it's the chusseau fan, so participate as much as you can. So just for fun, I actually counted the number of forms, the Zen forms, I engage in before I actually sit down on my seat in the Zen in the morning. So just to wake you up, I bow 17 times. You're still sleeping, but I'm bowing around the building about 17 times between the roll-downs in front of altars and various various vows that happened during that time.

[09:01]

I'm not gonna reveal them all. So, some secret there. And then I go back to my apartment and I put my robes on, and then I have a little ritual at the altar of my apartment for my teacher, in honor of my teacher, Christina, who is my teacher, and also invited me to share the Dharma seat with her during this practice period. So it's six deep bows at the home altar. And then I come back, and I made up this other little ritual that, with permission of sewing teacher Tim, consists of going into the sewing room about five minutes before my morning junda. And so I go into the room. so that I can be ready when time comes. And I bow to the Buddha on my left. And then I sit down in non-sashin days.

[10:05]

I sit down until the first roll down of the hand. And then I get up, kind of adjust my robes, and circumvabulate the sewing table three times, as if it were a stupa. And I have no concept of why I began to do that. Maybe it's my daily exercise, you know. But anyway, I go around three times, kind of devotionally, so I don't know exactly what inspired this movement, but I circumvabulated three times. Maybe I'm thinking about all the Buddha robes that had been sown there. And then I bow to... The other statue that I still don't know if it's a Quan Yin or a Samantha Badr. I think Tim says it's a Samantha Badr. It looks to me like a Quan Yin, but anyway, doesn't hurt either way. And then I wait, usually about three minutes before, more or less, the time to do the Jundo.

[11:14]

I bow to the door as I go out on the hand, and then I bow to the Fukutu Fukudo and Shoten. Probably distracting them, but my intention is to express some gratitude for their service, for their work. And then I wait. And then when it's time to go into the Zen Do, I bow to the Doshi Door. And then there is the Jundo. And the Jundo has about 20, 21 bows. So by the time I sit on my seat, about 48 times at least talking about right you know becoming aware of forms where nobody's watching I mean some people are watching but not that many so I would like to turn this to you and and invite you to pay maybe more attention to how you engage in forms

[12:18]

even when nobody's watching. What do you do before zazen, for example? And how do you do them? Is there a sense of harmony between body and mind? Is the body just following what the mind wants because maybe it's expected? Is the body just going its own way, knows what to do, and the mind follows? And then in terms of Zen forms, how do you engage with those? Is there a sense of tension, maybe boredom, or maybe there is a sense of joy? It's not to become aware to change something.

[13:22]

It's not to change anything. It's just to notice. The other day, I was walking on the street with Benji Genie. somehow the idea of this Dharma talk or the fact that we were doing the Dharma talk today came up. And I think I said something like, I think I'd like to talk about forms. And Ginny said something like, what about forms? And I think I said something like, I'd like to talk about how one feels in relationship to forms and so I think she asked me how do you feel about forms and this thing came to my mind of I said can you imagine being on a bus sitting down and then someone comes in that looks like has unstable legs and you get up and let this person sit

[14:51]

How do you feel in that moment? What is the mix? You're engaged in a form, a form that probably was taught by parents or school. How does that feel? Can you imagine that moment of getting up to give the seat? It's something that probably all of us would do if we can. How does that feel? It's this mix of kindness gratitude that your legs are okay what is it could that be a feeling that is renewed anytime we engage in a form could it be the feeling that one get when one bows During this practice period, I've had the great fortune of practicing temple life for two and a half months with my teacher.

[16:10]

After Christina ordained me, we never had the chance to be in the temple at the same time and engage in forms together. And it's been incredible to just have the opportunity to notice how she does things, how she speaks, how she engages in forms, and also to receive, of course, the feedback, her feedback on my way of doing things that had been absorbed in two and a half years in various ways, of course, or without maybe even thinking about any of that. realized that after two and a half months I'm not the same I'm not what I was before something something that I don't think has a name I think it's almost like at the cellular level or unspoken has come through and

[17:23]

and has been transformative. The other day, I think last week, one morning, Abbot Mako was away, Tanto Tim was doing the Jundo. I had just finished my Jundo, and I was setting myself up on the seat, and Tim came in, and Tim came in without a Jiko, without an assistant. And Christina must have noticed it right away. She was already, of course, sitting at her seat and just quietly, immediately got up, went to pick up the ball of flower petals under the altar and assisted Tim as Tim was doing the opening of the sandal that we begins the jundo of the doshi.

[18:27]

Body and mind seemed totally at unison. There was no time to think, no time to do anything, and she just got up and just witnessing it made me teary. You know, I wouldn't have expected that the senior dama teacher or an abbot would get up to assist someone that comes that needs needs a Jiko. And so it was surprising, but it was so deeply caring and simple, loving. So after 10 years of relationship with Christina, I almost feel like I'm more of a student of hers, just by this communication of forms that has not been necessarily verbal. And most of the time I would say was not verbal.

[19:34]

It's an intimacy with her forms that sort of became an intimacy with my own forms. I think this is what engaging in forms can actually do When we are aware of what we do, when we do, how we do, the moment, that moment can be transformative. It can be transformative for ourselves and can be transformative for other people. And we are engaging in forms together all the time. It's an incredible opportunity. It's so simple because forms can be Very simple, like how to get a cup, how to move a chair in the dining room. Something might see you, and something might shift, or in yourself.

[20:43]

When we begin to practice Zen formally, we are typically inundated by instructions, right? There are forms of all sorts, bow here, shasu there. Use this foot. no no no don't use the other food and you know all these all these many many many forms and a request actually may come sometime I would say most of the time internally sometimes externally to do these forms perfectly to learn them perfectly and it's a it's a big trap right it's a big it's a big trap in the in the kind of beginning formal practices and and maybe getting trapped for a while is OK. Getting stuck might not be the best, right? I think that learning forms for us is not so different than learning to write. And I'm saying writing, write and not type.

[21:48]

So maybe this goes, this is more for folks that went to school A few decades ago, let's say. I do remember at the beginning of my elementary school, I think we spent months just writing all the letters of the alphabet. I remember notebook after notebook of A, B, C, D, lowercase, uppercase, many. I think I still have one in one storage box somewhere. full of letters until the teacher would consider them perfect. I think of the same way as, for example, a classical musician learning a new piece. Initially, it's learned perfectly. And then, all of us developed our own style of writing, our own way of writing.

[22:51]

The basis was set, the fundamental basic rules of writing a letter were set. And then we develop our own way of writing it. And I think forms can be thought the same way. You learn to bow in a certain way. They tell you to bow, you know, how to keep your hands and et cetera, et cetera, or chasseau. But then at some point, your bow is just your bow. Your chasseau is just your chasseau. Shohaku Okamura Roshi, who gave many classes here at City Center many, many years ago in a class, said, forms in and out themselves can be empty, but they can also reveal awakening. And Tygen Layton, who recently retired as the guiding teacher of Ancient Dragon Temple in Chicago,

[24:01]

One said, use the outer forms to find your own dignity. So when that happens, when you become aware of that, something extraordinary can happen. Forms begin to express your own sensibility, your own values, your own inclination, the exterior and the interior can actually fall into harmony. So the point is not necessarily just to learn the forms. It is to allow these forms to shine a light inward, so that they become an opportunity to study the Self, so that actually your true nature, our true nature, can manifest itself. And how can true nature manifest itself? In some form. So forms that seem to be sort of a restriction for us, as we live temple life, can actually really be a key to freedom.

[25:20]

Tsutsuki Roshi called it you, being you, yourself. So I think that's all I wanted to say. I suggest maybe I read again, attention reb offering, and then we can do some open kinyin. Begin this Sashin by listening to your body. Listen to that which is affected by light and sound, tastes and odors, and tactile things such as heat, cold, pressure, roughness, and smoothness.

[26:25]

Listen to something that is upright, something that responds to these phenomena. This is similar to saying, please, Listen to the silence. By listening to your body, perhaps you can better understand that silence has structure, that silence is not nothing. There is function in silence. There is responsiveness in silence. Sitting still and listening to the body may reveal this structure, function, and responsiveness. So, while sitting still, please listen to the body. I'm suggesting this as a way to realize peace in the midst of suffering. Listen to the body. Thank you.

[27:29]

Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge And this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

[27:55]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_97.3