Good morning. That notion... that the tanto, Rosalie, brought up in her encouraging words last night, resting in the midst of effort. The most important thing, right effort. I don't know if Suzuki Roshi said that, but he would have if he was as smart as me. There's a list, one of many, many lists.

[01:18]

Someone once here, who was quite brilliant in his own, intellectually, he made a little book and he put it in the library and it's called The Lists of Lists. Neil Ruben King. There's a list in that list of lists called the seven factors of awakening. In the middle, right effort. Before right effort, the Dharma gates of mindfulness and attending to the experience that arises. after right effort, joy, ease, concentration, equanimity. So let's get going. Of course, we're way too complex in our workings for anything to be linear.

[02:32]

things rise and fall, sometimes, you know, right effort is utterly simple, direct, and available. And then other times it's utterly elusive, unmanageable. Dogen's fascicle bendabwa. You know, this is really just the introduction to Juju Zamai, right? Which is the topic for these talks. This amazing process, this amazing transmission, this amazing capacity within the human condition. to discover an unconditioned response to conditioned existence.

[03:49]

Although abundant in everyone, it's not manifest without practice and it's not experienced without realization. This continuous effort, this concentrated endeavor of the way I'm speaking of, allows things to exist in realization so that they may express going beyond in the path of letting go. They may express going beyond in the path of letting go. In the midst of our effort, some engagement, some sensibility, it's just not about success and failure.

[04:51]

It's not about accomplishing this and suppressing that. practicalities of our practice, you know, the challenge of letting our effort come forth with diligence, with perseverance. You know, that word that I translated is right effort. You know, the word in Sanskrit is virya. Virya, in its range of meanings, goes from effort, perseverance, diligence, to energy.

[05:54]

It's like I was mentioning earlier in Sashin. There's discipline and there's devotion. What distinguishes them? Discipline is devotion. when we're bringing forth the effort to engage purposefully. Maybe in brackets, despite the part of us that doesn't want to. The part of us that wants to wander off, engage something else. And devotion, when the very the very engagement of our effort is embraced. That something in us wholeheartedly says yes. How to cultivate that.

[07:08]

passing through the barrier of dualism, dropping off limitations is the way. How could you be hindered by nodes of bamboo and knots in wood? As you can imagine, when people come to Dokusan, they keep saying, oh, those nodes in bamboo. If it wasn't for them, my life would be perfect. And those knots in the woods. The nodes in the bamboo, my notion is something like the way things become dense, the way things become opaque. The fluidity is hindered. The knot in the wood.

[08:19]

The blemish. This way of experiencing reality that's so prevalent given the suffering of our conditioned existence. And as we explore this territory, as Dogen says, going beyond the duality. Okay, those are the bad things. We have to bring forth the good things. Going beyond that duality. that in the midst of all that arises, the steady heartbeat of body and breath, the steady practice return to basics.

[09:27]

Body, breath, willingness to experience what arises. If the water is calm and clear, the water is calm and clear. If the water is murky and stormy, the water is murky and stormy. And then when we pay a little more attention, we realize, yeah, but when the water is murky and stormy, it's a whole lot harder to be body and breath. It's a whole lot harder to be serene. to be sitting on a mountaintop gazing down at the particulars of your life. And the paradox of right effort, the paradox of practice is to enter into those arising storms and meet them.

[10:41]

just as they appear. You know, this factor in the seven factors of awakening, investigation. Investigate what arrives here in this moment's consciousness. It's not a matter of the mind exploring something, what's behind that? What can that mean? What's underneath that? Where did this trait begin in my human psyche? What arises? Letting it come forth. And can it be held in this spaciousness, as Rosalie says, settling down in the midst of effort.

[11:42]

Sometimes it seems to me, in listening to myself and others, that we need to try everything else before we're willing to do this. We need to try all the strategies of escaping all the strategies of overcoming, turning it into what we want, exhaust them, or more exactly, exhaust ourselves. And then, okay, maybe just as it is. And this is the course many of us take, maybe most of us. We literally, we sit, we sit, and we're undone by the ferocity of our effort.

[13:00]

We sit, we sit. And we can't even remember, what am I supposed to do? Try to remind ourselves, and what's the point of all this? What is it to follow your breath? What is it to be your body? And we discover the steady heartbeat of practice. could call this entering into the unfolding of emptiness. What were you before your parents gave birth?

[14:10]

What were you for all these stories, all these constructs, all these identifications. And then also, there's another perspective that's resonant in our being that can support our practice. something about coming home. In the spirit of where is our true home? It's the home we abided in before our parents gave birth, beyond our parents giving birth. By marvelous coincidence, I have a poem about it called I Come From There by Mahmoud Darwish, who was the subject of one of the poems I read before.

[15:32]

I looked this up on the Internet, given the marvels of the Internet, and I put in his name, Mahmoud Darwish. And it directed me to this site. And then this screen came up and it said, you have won a 64 gigabyte white iMac. iPad, iPad. Just click here. And I thought, Well, I'm preparing for a talk. It's edgy enough to be rummaging around on the internet, but... And then I thought, but just click here.

[16:45]

Here's a mouse. I could mindfully move my hand, press with this finger. So I did. I clicked. And then another screen came up. And it said, are you interested in any of these? And then it had a long list of, you know, Would you like information about a BMW? Would you want to buy a Timeshare in Hawaii? And I thought, oh, what the heck? No, no, no, no, no, no. And then submit. And then another screen came up. And I thought, hmm. Sometimes... when things seem too good to be true?

[17:53]

They are too good to be true. The next screen said, of this list, you have to take, you have to submit, enroll to at least two. And I thought, hmm. So at that point, Sadly, I gave up my free 64 gigabyte white iPad. But I still have this beautiful poem. When the mind is spacious, with something in its... It's not so feverish about getting what it wants or avoiding what it doesn't want.

[18:57]

The play of our human enticement. Watching the ideas. What is the way? Click. Not click. When something in us is settled, the way broadens. When something in us is determined, the way is very narrow. When something in us is settled, the wander, the deviations of the mind reveal the way. They reveal the conditioned existence.

[20:04]

Watch it arise. I would like to have a free 64 gigabyte wide iPad. The price appealed to me a great deal. This is something about what Rosalie was getting at. Some kind of resting in our effort. not an excuse to just wander off get all caught up in all sorts of things it's more about inviting everything here and letting here be big enough to hold it

[21:09]

See, here's how Mahmoud Darwish talks about it. The poem's called, I Come From There. I come from there and I have memories. Born as mortals are. I have a mother and a house with many windows. I have siblings, friends. I have my own view of things. Mine is the moon at the far edge of the words. Mine is the moon at the far edge of the words. And the bounty of birds. And the immortal olive tree. I walked this land before the swords turned its living body into a laying table. I came from there.

[22:19]

I render the sky onto her mother when the sky weeps for her mother. I render the sky onto her mother when the sky weeps for her mother. And I weep to make myself known to a returning cloud. I learned all the words worthy of the court of blood so that I could break the rope. I learned all the words worthy of the coat of blood so I could break the will. The very vitality of our being, our life's blood, in all its forms. And how that life's blood expresses itself. How it leaps forth at a tantalizing offer.

[23:25]

How it contracts with a difficult memory. How it struggles with some dark pain in our body. Some restless agitation in our mind. all in their own way, members of the cord of our life's blood. I learned all the words worthy of the cord of blood so I could break the rule. You won't be happy unless you get this. You won't. be free from danger unless you can avoid this. Those compelling voices, some of which are blatantly obvious and some of which are utterly mysterious.

[24:44]

Sometimes returning to our breath seems like the denial of our happiness, the denial of our life's engagement. And we return, and we return, and we return. Paradoxically, we come home to what we have deeply searched for. I learned all the words and broke them up to make a single word, homeland. learned all the words worthy of the coat of blood so I could break the bull.

[26:08]

I learned all the words and broke them up to make a single word. Homeland. As we all know, Dogen Zenji is to study the way, to study the self. let that self break up from one solid mass into a dynamic play of arising and falling away. Of energies flowing through us, of our mind grasping and our mind releasing. This continuous endeavor of the way I'm speaking of allows all things to exist in realization.

[27:22]

To settle, to take our ease in the midst of our effort in a way that invites everything to be here. Look at that. Whether it makes sense or doesn't make sense. And in its arrival, to let it teach you. To let it teach you exactly what it is, and to let it teach you something beyond what it is. As Mahmoud says, and all those words, all those stories, I broke up to create one word. This continuous endeavor of the way I'm speaking of allows all things to exist

[28:37]

in realization so that they may practice going beyond in the path of letting go. He hints at the hardships and the difficulties of his life. Who doesn't have hardships and difficulties in their past? Who doesn't have wounds etched on their heart and their mind? We breathe out forgiveness.

[29:46]

We breathe out release. We breathe out acceptance. And we breathe in willingness. We breathe in yes. We breathe in so be it. tight demands of our agitation and restlessness, whatever form it takes. A steady perseverance. A steady diligence. Do your best. Beyond the words.

[30:48]

Rest in the engagement. And it's not that that throws open the exalted gates of heaven. It's more that in the working, in the accepting, in the releasing, some ease. right here in the midst of conditioned existence. Some continuity of contact. You know, in the seven factors, the seventh one is usually translated as equanimity. Thich Nhat Hanh translates it as letting go.

[31:53]

If a beautiful iPad arises, so be it. If it's not your lucky day, so be it. Tashin is working us over. Something in us is loosening up. Something of the clamor of our own drama is quieting. Not to let this translate into a casual dreaminess.

[33:10]

But to let it stay precise and invite in a softness. The continuous contact that's more malleable, that's more available, that's more adaptable. Now as your body is learning how to do Zazen, maybe it doesn't require the exacting effort. But this is a marvelous opportunity to explore more thoroughly the subtle details. when the mind wanders and you come to awareness. In the pause, before you do anything, receptive attention that invites the echo of that wandering back into conscious experience.

[34:26]

It's like the deviations, the digressions that come up in consciousness, they tend to pull us down out of awareness. That's the nature of grasping intrigue. Inviting it back up. How much comes up depends on a variety of factors. but the very invitation. If what comes up is the movement of your body, of your posture, if what comes up some physical sensation in your body, if what comes up is a lingering emotion, or if what comes up is a storyline,

[35:36]

I started to think thoughts about that. Inviting it back into consciousness. Letting the mind rediscover the territory of just noticing. This is what Dogen Zenji is getting at. concentrated endeavor of the way I'm speaking of allows all things to exist in realization, exist in awareness, exist in this is this moment's experience, that realization. so they may practice going beyond the path of letting go.

[36:44]

Grasping at the notion of a free iPad. and not grasping. It's not that without that I can't be fully alive. It's not that to have that I need to go there and then and leave here and now. allowing that to become part of here and now.

[37:58]

The sound of the traffic and the inhale are not different. of the lifeblood in its thoughts and feelings and physical sensations as it expresses itself somatically in your body. Breathing them in with the inhale. Releasing with the exhale. Rajnatara says, I study this sutra hundreds and thousands and thousands of times. That was his response when the Raj of India asked him, aren't you supposed to be a Zen person?

[39:11]

Why aren't you studying sutras? study this sutra. This is the homeland. Before our parents gave birth. After our parents gave birth. It includes both. It often seems to me that Dogen Zenji starts with some shock therapy, you know?

[40:20]

All Buddhas all Buddha Tathagatas transmit the inconceivable, actualizing, unsurpassable, complete awakening. Have a wondrous art, supreme and unconditioned. And all of that is not different from the lifeblood flowing through you. Maybe it's related to a little different, but this formidable notion, this amazing, shocking notion, nothing of what's arising needs to be different. How it's related to, how it's open to, how it's connected to. How not to let that notion turn into some vague, transcendent, irrelevant perspective.

[41:33]

How to let it mix with the passion of your blood. How to see it in the midst of what comes up for you. Even if it tosses you into a state of being, that makes it difficult to know what the heck it is you're supposed to be doing. As we settle into Sashin, as we loosen up, those moments of contact, those moments of illumination are right at hand. The moments of illumination, the moments of presence, the moments of just seeing the luster of the tatami in the morning sun.

[42:42]

That arises easily. Letting it speak in a way that isn't drowned out by the clamor of the voices and stories of the world according to me. This is our challenge. Letting it flow from contact with this, to contact with this, to contact with this. Noticing, noticing, noticing. Receptive samadhi. Samadhi, continuous contact. Receptive samadhi is its mark. Sitting upright, practicing Zion, is the authentic gate. To free yourself in the unconfined realm of this samadhi.

[43:52]

help you recover from those terrible words. I'll read the poem again. This time I'll read the unabridged version. I made some editing to do my own, to bring forth my own point. Terrible thing, I know. Fortunately, he died three years ago, so... I come from there. I come from there and I have memories. Born as mortals are, I have a mother and a house with many windows. And I have siblings, friends, and a prison cell with a cold window. Mine is the wave

[45:02]

snatched by seagulls. I have my own view and an extra blade of grass. Mine is the moon at the far edge of words and the bounty of birds and the immortal olive tree. I walked this land before the swords turned it into living body on a laden table. I come from there. I render the sky onto her mother when the sky weeps for her mother. I render the sky onto her mother when the sky weeps for her mother. And I weep to make myself known to a returning cloud. I learned all the words worthy of the coat of blood so that I could break the rule. I learned all the words and broke them. to make a single word, homeland.

[46:15]

The parable in the Lotus Sutra, the prodigal son comes home, goes through many, many tribulations and trials, and eventually is told, this is your original home. All of this is yours. Who will tell us that? And after what? trials and tribulations and great effort. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma.

[47:23]

For more information, please visit sfzc.org. And click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[47:33]

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