Recently, in the paper, there was a story about a woman who took her pets, her two cats and her dog, to the kennel, took her son to the top of a mountain and shot her son and then shot herself. She'd been in the throes of a custody battle with her ex-husband. And quite soon, her son was going to spend more time with her ex-husband. Life's tragedies. They ask something of us.

[01:44]

They offer something to us. They speak with such an authority about the human condition that it becomes evident to us It's rather trivial to start taking sides. Well, her ex-husband probably mistreated her so badly that he drove her to this horrible behavior. Oh, what an action of utter selfishness and self-involvement to the brutal destruction of others. I've never lived with a 15-year-old in the middle of a custody battle. They can be so manipulative and exacerbate the situation.

[02:51]

The immensity of the tragedy makes so evident to us that that sort of response is utterly trivial. How can the complexities of human life, with all their causal conditions, with all the details of the story, how can we launch into that and hold up some one-sided opinion with some sense of authority, correctness. And what is it to see the world this way?

[04:04]

Shakyamuni immersed himself the fundamental nature of being. And then he saw the world. He saw how suffering occurs. How that something arises and we cling to it and we turn it into an absolute truth and we let it define the whole world and we act according to that single conviction. Suffering happens. There's a spiritual teacher that's quite popular, Byron Katie. Many people have heard of Byron Katie. A little less than half.

[05:12]

Here's her formula. ask these questions. Is it really true? Is it absolutely true? How do you react to it? And who would you be if it was taken away? So in a way this is pointing at how to which is drawing in, not holding on. Our world is populated with experiences that we hold on to as true. We infuse them with the authority of our passionate emotions. Whenever I think of this,

[06:14]

undivided. Whenever I think of this, I'm frightened. Whenever I think of this, I'm filled with regret. What is the state of being that can just bear witness to the fields and conditions that brought it into being. Just the same way we can hold the tragedy of that woman killing her son and killing herself. What an afflicted state of heart and mind could be driven to such desperate acts. I would say, how could anything other than compassion and forgiveness be a reasonable response?

[07:28]

What is the state of heart and mind that meets the world in that way? product of deep concentration? Is it the product of knowledge? Is it the exclusive property of someone who's deeply settled and serene? has not suffered, who has not responded to that suffering by grasping a way of engaging the world and authorizing it with passionate emotion and then being moved to act on that.

[08:39]

Which one of us hasn't done that in the last 24 hours? What does it do? There are witness to our own being in such a way. Karagiri Roshi said, holding the experience with the big mind, everything is forgiven. doesn't by any means say that wasn't a terrible, terrible act. Maybe it just means to say we don't need to make matters worse.

[09:51]

can allow the intensity, the immensity of it to show us something about the human condition to remind us not just in the realm of ideas but in a deep felt way the nature of our human condition Nancy McMahon puts it like this. You must grieve for this right now. You have to feel this sorrow now. For the world must be loved this much. If you're going to say, I've lived. To sit and to let all of our assertions about ourself, about the world, and all the passionate ways we imbue them with authority.

[11:30]

To let them all be held with Suzuki Roshi's. Maybe so. And maybe not. environment Katie's is this really true is this absolutely true and to let ourselves hear the words under the words how a particular story can tell us about the human condition a particular arising in our own work can tell us something about the person we are. Can tell us something about the human condition. And then as Hatterwood says, make it unadorned, not confused by judgments and opinions for and against.

[12:40]

To let something be illuminated. And then we call this big mind. Hold the world in this way. And we enter it with our body, our breath, and our attention. All the time. When we listen to a Dharma talk, we take the body, breath, and mind of Zazen.

[13:45]

Can we hear the words under the words? Can we let our body hear and feel the talk? Can we be aware of listening and watching resonating? Can we be aware of the experiences that arise for us. Can they both be particular, the momentary arising, and can they speak with authority, with an authority in itself asks, is this true?

[14:52]

Is this an absolute truth? Can we start to meet and greet our life in this way? There's a case in the Blue Cliff Record, Fuketsu says, when you pick up a particular instance, when you pick up a particular moment of awareness like this, the whole world flourishes. Oh, look at the response that's coming up. in relation to this perspective.

[15:53]

I would suggest try a little variation in language. Not so much how I'm responding. Look at the response that comes up. That's tragic story. And the woman, her son, her ex-husband, all the woman's family, all the school kids that go to school with the son, the family of the ex-husband, all the people they work with, all their friends, the people that live next door, down the street, Each instant touches so many and ripples out.

[17:10]

Each instance is the consequence of so many conditions. When we pick up an instance, we touch so much. we're holding the consequence of so much. How do we pick it up? How do we hold it? How do we think about it? How do we feel about it? Sometimes In our search for practice, we think, oh, it's about sanitizing my experience. It should be stark and simple. Neutralized of emotion and feeling.

[18:19]

What if we're not feeling enough What if we just glance at the paper headline? A woman shoots her sign on herself and we go, huh, what's on the next page? What if it's not? What if mindfulness is not A matter of dispassion with deeper passion. And it reverberates with a different kind of authority. The authority that all life in every instance is precious.

[19:26]

To each state of meaning That when it's met fully, it holds the conditioned life that each of us is. It holds it in a way that shows us This is what it is. This moment. These feelings. This way of relating to the world. This way of grasping tightly or this way of holding loosely. This very mind, this very heart is Buddha. What if it's not a matter of struggling with it and turning it into something else?

[20:44]

Dispassionate, detached, sanitized. What if it's a different form of relationship? So, to my strange mind, it's the very point that Nassim Hikmat is trying to explore in this poem. How interesting he and I would be of such accord. It's this way. Oh, it's not the poem. It's this one with the charming title of I stepped out of my thoughts of death. In many ways, nothing gets our attention like thoughts of death.

[21:57]

Survival is so important to us. great matter of birth and death. A woman took her son to the top of a mountain and said a critical thing to him. Yeah? That has an impact. A woman took her son to the top of a mountain and shot him. That has an import that silences us. There's no way to comment. There's nothing that can be said

[23:01]

There's no feeling that can hold all that goes into that statement. I stepped out of my thoughts of death. I stepped out of my thoughts of death and put on the June leaves of the boulevards. Those of May were, after all, too young for me. A whole summer waits for me, a silly summer. with its hot stones and asphalt, its ice-cold pop ice cream, sweaty movie houses, thick-voiced actors from the provinces, with its taxis that suddenly vanish on big soccer days, and its trees that turn to paper under the lights of the Hermitage garden, and maybe with Mexican songs or tom-toms from Ghana. I read the poems I read on the balcony.

[24:04]

And with your hair cut a little shorter, a city summer is waiting for me. And with your hair cut a little shorter, a city summer is waiting for me. I put on the June leaves of the boulevards. I stepped out of my thoughts of death. pause in the middle of the intriguing story called The World According to Me. And allow, as Logan Zenji says, allow the world to come forth and speak. As Mary Oliver says, A silence in which another voice may speak.

[25:08]

A receptivity in which even our own narrative can speak. This is the thought my mind is having right now. This is the feeling that's coursing through my heart. Can we say, is it true? Is it absolutely true? It's not tinged with trivializing. It's not tinged with self-criticism. It's tinged more with a kind of marvel at the nature of human life. There's a beautiful line in that same poem of Nassim Magnets.

[26:29]

It comes earlier. Except... Except, I lost the place. It talks about... Because although you fear death, you don't believe it. Because living, I mean, raised heavier. see the moment because we can.

[27:42]

Can we not simply stay inside the cocoon of our own injury because we can. Because it matters to us when a woman shoots her son and shoots herself. Because we are that son and we are that woman. And we are that ex-husband. Not exactly in that body, but we lived those thoughts and those feelings. Practice those tools, as Fukutsu says, in this precise moment.

[28:50]

In this precise moment, picking it up, holding it, acknowledging it, the whole world flourishes. We pick up the moments of our own being, experiencing them clearly, we make more sense to ourselves. I know something about not lying in circles. David Cadwick's great scandalous little poem. When in trouble, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. I think we've all done that too. To make more sense to ourselves.

[29:56]

To see how things come into play. To see, yes, we have thoughts. Yes, we have opinions. Yes, we have understandings. But the immense interconnectedness of me cannot just be held in our opinions. And yet that very same opinion is the vehicle of our life. That very same feeling is the expression of our life. It has its own majesty. This very heart and mind is muda. Can we care enough to practice like this?

[30:58]

Can we care enough about ourselves? Can we care enough about our sure life? Can we offer this to ourselves? Can we offer this to everyone? Fuketsu says, when one moment is picked up, the whole world flourishes. When one moment is neglected, the whole world suffers. It's a pretty fierce statement. The innensity of being opened us, quiet us, woke us, receptive.

[32:09]

Here we are, somewhere in the midst of our own life. Involved in some strange, mysterious practice called sushin. Precious opportunity to pause and ask more fully than we've ever done before. More simply. Without agenda. What is going on? And to let it teach us as fully as we can. To notice the workings of mind and heart when it's quiet and what arises is luminous in its simplicity.

[33:16]

To notice when what arises is turbulent and complex. Is there teaching? How is it to have quiet, luminous mind? How is it to have complex, cloudy mind? Do you become frightened? Do you struggle harder to control? Do you think of ways to escape? This is a precious opportunity to see the patterns that constantly influence and dictate our lives. Constantly. Now we consume it.

[34:20]

We have a chance. We have cultivated the awareness. We have adjusted to an environment, a structure. keeps turning us back towards this activity. Can we dare to be completely the person we already are? Completely the person we can't stop being. Let's take a look at what happens in something. I can't stop this life force coursing through. Can we dare to be it? Can we dare to bear witness to it, engage it, as if it were Luda?

[35:26]

You always say that, this very mindless Buddha. You've been saying that for years and years and years. Why? Why do you keep saying the same thing? To stop the baby crying. To address the fundamental, deep-seated way we struggle and suffer. And in our struggling and suffering, grasp and create absolute truths. This has to be true. My life depends upon it. Okay. Can we meet ourselves at that level of passion and determination? with forgiveness with compassion with acceptance with an openness that experiences it just as it is maybe the answer is always no sorry I'd like to I

[37:11]

And let me tell you, I've been trying. Even if it's impossible, still, our deep vow to do so has nothing to do with accomplishment. Even though we're going to die, we must love life more because it weighs heavier. Every moment, totally precious,

[38:18]

capable of teaching us, capable of guiding us, capable of illuminating the human condition. And amazingly, we're utterly capable of this kind of practice. We don't need to read one book Learn more words in Chinese or Japanese. Shift from Bermuda to full lotus. It's not that simple. It's more difficult and it's completely within our abilities. This is Shikantaza.

[39:31]

Just being completely in the moment. Picking up each particle and letting the whole world flourish. Not that we can ever figure that out. Can we ever know what happened in that woman's life? causes and conditions that brought it about. We could research it for 20 years. I still wouldn't know. But we can hold its horizon. Similarly with each moment. It's not about figuring it out. It's about Beholding the majesty of this moment's expression.

[40:37]

And then Hadowood says, then the world is filled with things. And something about my life has an allure to it. It has a kind of poetic flow to it. The little details stand out. There's something worthy of savoring and appreciating. Temporary as they are. I stepped out of my thoughts of death and put on the June leaves of the Bill of Arts. Those of May, after all, were too young for me.

[41:53]

A whole summer waits for me. A city summer with its hot stones and asphalt, its ice-cold pop ice cream, sweaty movie houses, thick-voiced actors from the provinces, With its taxes that suddenly vanish on big soccer days. And its trees that turn to paper under the lights of the Hermitage garden. And maybe the Mexican songs are tom-toms from Ghana. And the poems I read on the balcony. And with your hair cut a little shorter. A city summer is waiting for me. Put on the joint leaves of the boulevards. I stepped out of my thoughts of death. And stepped into, as Dovin Zenji says, the 10,000 things coming forth and confirming the Dharma.

[43:03]

Thank you.

[43:05]

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