This podcast is offered by San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. As I was looking at the picture of Suzuki Roshi and thinking of that December 4th, 40 years ago, what a significant moment it was for Zen Center. The finder, the inspiration, the person who brought over 50 years of practice and gathered around them a bunch of eager students who didn't know what the heck it was they were so eager about

[01:03]

or what they were getting themselves into. And then he died. And something new began. And that new beginning has begun and begun and begun until we're here. And now we have another December 4th and be another beginning of Shashin. Shashin is a pretty simple proposition. It's like leave life as you know it at the door and take up the forms, the schedule, the activities of Shashin and let them undo something and let something of our original nature manifest and be realized.

[02:20]

Leave something at the door, take up the request, and let something be manifest and realized. Yes, it is. It's a simple proposition and we're marvelously complicated. So thank goodness it's so simple. Because we have such a variety of responses to it. But even so, the point of initiation The point of entering the dragon's gate. Something in us wants to do this.

[03:22]

Something in us knows how to do this. And something in us asks us not to sell ourselves short. asks us not to do it in a half-hearted way. And then along with that, most likely, there are a lot of other things going on for us. So as I was saying last night, especially as we start Sushin, cannot be dismayed, distracted, discouraged by what's still hanging around, what we haven't left at the door, what we have insisted on bringing in with us.

[04:29]

So be it. You're still rattling around with whatever it is you're rattling around with. To not let it be something to struggle with. But to let it just be an accompaniment. And in the midst of that, to start to take what brought you here. and let it offer its own guidance. Take the requests of Shashi and let them offer a structure that starts to both undo the habit energies of body, of mind, of emotions, of behaviors,

[05:48]

that have come to become the expression, the manifestation of me. What me is afraid of, what me wants, the world that's the creation of me. How to let this become more apparent. To notice. What is hanging around? And as I take up the structure of Sashin, how is that? Is there an unhesitating enthusiasm? Or are there some parts I'm welcoming and some parts I'm resisting? To notice.

[06:55]

not to notice and start to create more ideas and conclusions around, but to notice and be informed. Because as we enter the dragon's gate, part of it is to initiate and enable a certain kind of alchemy. Of that which brought us how to let that be more definitive, to let that be more influential than whatever preoccupations, distractions, hesitancies that might be rattling around within us too. To let that sincerity become an abiding and guiding sensibility.

[08:02]

You know, we could say about the process of practice is that one aspect of it is discipline. Follow the schedule. Do this. Eat this for breakfast. And eat it like this. And do it encased in this ritual. And in the process of doing that, set aside what you would rather eat for breakfast. Set aside the usual habits with which you eat breakfast. And the accompaniment you may have, usually. There's a discipline. the discipline in of itself will veer more towards submission and compliance. And we start to see this when even in the midst of the discipline, even in the midst of the structure, even in the midst of the demands of the structure, the mind...

[09:25]

constantly moving elsewhere. The request of practice as it ripens is not only do this, but it's do this wholeheartedly. Do this as an act of devotion, an act of full engagement. to hold that request. And especially as we're starting to see that devotion, that wholehearted engagement and our sincerity are very closely linked. When our sincerity, when it gives rise to our commitment, when our sincerity stimulates our involvement in the discipline,

[10:34]

there's an alignment. When the discipline has a tedious quality to it, it becomes increasingly challenging to not just go through the motions. So this is why it's so helpful as we start Sashim. consciously, as Dugan Zenji would say, arouse way-seeking mind. Not so much to involve ourself in a lot of thinking. Our sincerity is closer to our heart than our head. Maybe our mind played a role or still plays a role.

[11:40]

But as we settle into our practice, it has much more to do with the deep feeling than it has to do with sophisticated thoughts. And how that sincerity, that deep feeling can stay alive and flow into the activities of Shashin. we start to settle in to watch for this. And as I say, maybe it's accompanied by the clamor of whatever you're bringing with you. So be it. Maybe it's accompanied by an activity of mind, a distractiveness.

[12:44]

and unsettledness. So be it. In the workings of our human life, it's that distractedness, it's that unsettledness which taught us the first noble truth. That there's something unsettled in a life of grasping for what we want and pushing away what we don't want. It's that unsettledness and distractedness that stimulated the sincerity that brought us here. It's a strange way and a beautiful way in which our distractedness and preoccupation is not the obstacle to our practice.

[13:48]

There's a beautiful way in which it actually stimulates and supports our practice. But this is the more subtle regions of way-seeking mind. And to not get ahead of ourselves. Because every time we start Sashin, we're starting a new era of our practice. As truly as Zen Center started a new era 40 years ago when Suzuki Roshi died. You know, at the start of each Sashin, we enter through the Dragon's Gate, And the life we've known, the life we've lived, is irrevocably changed.

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There is no going back. There is only going forward. Some part of us wants to stay separate. We want to fit Shashin comfortably into the world, according to me, in a way that will have it function as we wish it will. But as we engage Shashin, as we give over to Shashin, we realize It's a more radical proposition. We become Shashin, Shashin becomes us, and something in passing through that dragon's gate changes.

[16:00]

And whether we can see it or not, this is what brought us here. And the simple process of noticing. The simple process of noticing what we've brought, noticing our enthusiasm and our resistance. Starting to notice the request of practice. And in the noticing to notice the difference between seeing what's happening, seeing the thoughts, seeing the feelings, emotions, and living out, living inside of the world created by those thoughts and emotions.

[17:09]

This capacity that the human mind, that human consciousness can do in an instant. Notice conditioned existence in contrast to being caught up and defined by human conditioned existence. Also the surrounds of sushin, the schedule, the rituals, the activities, the structure. They set the context, they set the support. The great gift of having the body of sangha to sit with, to sit in the midst of. And then this careful attending to the workings of human consciousness.

[18:27]

Remembering in an exacting way what noticing is. What it is to open the hand of thought and let that moment, that thought, be seen. rather than grasping it and living the reality of it. As starting to experience directly the presence of now in contrast to the thought of there and then. The presence of here and now in contrast to there and then. As that noticing happens, something comes alive.

[19:30]

The very involvement and expression of our sincerity shifts modalities. It becomes less around thought and more about direct experience. And just the same way, as we watch, is there or is there not giving over to being the activity of breakfast, we start to see, is there or is there not giving over to presence? Not to make the grasping of thought and feeling the enemy. the obstacle to be overcome. But to start to study, to start to experience, to start to learn from the very process of opening to what's arising in the moment.

[20:46]

To start to see and notice and feel that as we do that, something in our being comes alive. Something in our being initiates this new beginning. something in our being welcomes this new life. And this awakening moment, sometimes lasting a second,

[21:54]

sometimes lingering long enough that it influences our experience. Sometimes our vision comes more alive. Sometimes our state of physical being seems to shift. So with each period of Zazen, especially as we begin Sashin, a very deliberate process. This process of rediscovering the request of practice. This process of entering into full commitment to presence.

[22:57]

Of entering into a new way of being. This is the heart of beginner's mind. Beginner's heart. And as we start Sashin, as we enter deeper into Sashin, the complications of our human existence come forth and present a variety of challenges. As we enter into any particular period of Zazen, the complications of our human existence come forth and present a series of challenges. But at that point of initiation, as you start the period, carefully, deliberately aligning body, grounded and settled in your seat,

[24:21]

upright spine. It both gives space to the abdomen and the chest and has an upright energy that comes up through the top of the head. It reaches out through the arms and comes back and holds the whole world in the thumb tips of the mudra. that breathes with an ease like a door swinging in a breeze without resistance. It breathes deeply into the bottom of your being.

[25:26]

Invited there by the sincerity of your commitment to practice. This is the alignment of body and breath. This is the rediscovery, the realignment at the start of each period. This sets the stage to the heroic act of noticing. Of noticing what's happening rather than grasping it as if your life depended upon it. This willingness to just experience.

[26:30]

of the alchemy that moves from discipline to devotion. That allows presence, that allows involvement in the moment in contrast to some insistent struggle with it. Some hesitancy that makes there and then much more inviting, much more palatable than here and now. So each time you return to your cushion to initiate the commitment to here and now, to see exactly in this moment, in this body of now, how is that request expressed?

[27:53]

And somewhat paradoxically, as we bring forth that request it will show us, it will illuminate that aspect of our being that is hesitant, that is distracted, that is confused. As we open up to presence, we open up to the fullness of what we are. And this is where noticing becomes invaluable. We just continue to notice what's arising.

[29:14]

The request of zazen is not to make mind and body as cold as ice, as calm as a lake without any wind. The request of zazen is to notice. To notice that whatever the state of mind, whatever the state of heart, it's simply the vital expression of existence right now. It can be grasped and defined reality, or it can just be seen for what it is. This is the request of Zaza. And each time we begin to sit, to translate this request into posture, to translate this request into breath, to translate this request into devotion, into wholehearted engagement.

[30:48]

And as we do that, in a strange and wonderful way, it doesn't matter how settled, serene, concentrated mind becomes. Sincerity will incline us back to connection. will recline us back to presence. And we can trust the journey of practice. We can trust that the process of returning and returning for seven days will bear forth with what it bears forth. And something is learned in that devoted practice, in that experiencing what's noticed, that carries over from the structure of Zazen into whatever activities arise.

[32:18]

And we start to see that the structure of Sashin, the schedule, the activities, are nothing more then what a human being does when they're living everything as the practice and activity of zazen? Everything is just simply asking for involvement, commitment and presence. Everything is just its own form of zazen. So whether it's our first sashin or our hundredth or two hundredth or one thousand sashins, the request of entering the Dragon's Gate is just the same.

[33:22]

We are all beginners. In some ways there's a great benefit from being your first sashin. You don't have this allure of assuming it will be like other shishuns. It'll be like this. Your beginner's mind is ready-made. And then in some ways there's a deficit. It may be the... giving over, it's hard to notice how exactly do you do that. This is part of what's learned through doing numerous shashins. You learn that the way to do shashin is give over to the activity.

[34:28]

You give over to the activity and then shashin supports you. You struggle with the activity and Shashin wears you out. And then the benefit of having sat many Shashins is this remembering. Something in your body, in your breath, in the work of your consciousness in what has been realized through the experience of presence. Something is there that in the opening to intimacy is waiting to be rediscovered, is there to inform

[35:34]

this moment's mind of the deep expression of practice. So whether it's your first or your hundredth, still beginner's mind. Still rediscovering exactly what it is to do Zazen. rediscovering submission, surrender, devotion, wholehearted engagement, how this can be initiated by discipline, It's the natural quickening of our sincerity.

[36:49]

All I'm really seeing is it's the rediscovery of the request of practice. in letting that request be enlivened so that its influence is strong. Strong enough to hold all the activities that you bring with you, all the conditioned existence that you bring with you to the moment. realize that nothing in who we are has to change.

[38:07]

It's simply a matter of how it's related to. That noticing is not an activity that requires some special powers that we don't have. The capacity to do it is already fully present. Let this form of alignment be the steady work of the first day of Sushi. whatever comes to visit in terms of distractions, whatever still is echoing from the agendas of your life, whatever anticipations you have beyond Sashin as some lifeline to help you survive, to just notice them too.

[39:28]

That's just how your mind works. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

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