This podcast is offered by San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you Good morning I was just thinking. Some of us in the intensive have, this is just like a variation on a theme. For the last couple of weeks, we've been following a schedule of sitting and at this time of day, having a talk. And then for some, it's return to a familiar activity.

[01:10]

And then I think for some of you, a new activity. But you know, either way, the stardust machine asks us to steady ourselves. It's so easy to carry our habit, habitual way of doing things into the next thing. The next thing being chishin. To have stirred up whatever kind of hopes, fears, anxieties that are stirred up, and then meeting them with the way you meet hopes, fears, and anxieties. Whatever kind of coping mechanisms, issues around control, avoidance... But before we delight ourselves with all that stuff, or maybe dismay ourselves, or both, to pause and steady ourselves, remind ourselves, maybe even in a wordless way, maybe more

[02:40]

in terms of feeling. More in terms of feeling than in ideas. Maybe. Of what it is that brought us to practice, of what it is that brought us to Sushin. practice like Shashin is a journey. Like our whole life is a journey. Somewhere in between the past and the future, we move along. Always entering new territory. with a strong impulse to resurrect the familiar, to bring forward more usual coping strategies.

[03:48]

To pause. Not in denial of that, not in avoidance of all that, but maybe to let all that register in the moment and in the midst of all that, remind ourselves. Okay. Shashin is simple. Not easy, but simple. Just be present as much as possible. when you notice you're distracted, you've already returned to presence. So notice. Let the whole process become as straightforward as it can be.

[04:58]

Yes, there's all the amazing details of working with the body and working with the breath and working with the mind. Yes. 2,500 years of wisdom. Maybe millions of years in the evolution of our body, breath, and mind. And innate wisdom. Available. when something pauses, steadies itself, and sees and listens and feels more clearly. So to remind ourselves of what it is we've got ourselves into. To remind ourselves of the request of pride, to remind ourselves of the effort of pride.

[06:11]

It's a simple act. It's not complicated. It doesn't have intricate involvement to produce some exquisite result. It's more about discovering effortless effort. It's more about discovering simple, straightforward effort. More about getting out of our own way. So something like that to remind ourselves as we start into this journey.

[07:15]

And to carry that with us like our heartbeat, you know? Each time we sit down on our cushion and start a period of zazen, each time we notice ourselves walking down the hall, eating or yoke, taking a break. Let this theme continuity of awareness develop itself. It's like we're giving over to a process. Guess we're on a journey There really isn't a destination we're trying to get to. Yes, we're giving over to a process. But there's no particular outcome to be achieved other than to be what already is.

[08:26]

And realize that that's available always. in endless manifestations. So as best we can when we start, as we're starting, that's something remember. Let's something align itself, align. or intentionality. Let it express itself in what we do. Let it express itself in the uprightness of our body. A steady intention in our body.

[09:36]

And as I say, let that flow through us just the way our heart keeps beating. So the formulation I brought up in the intense classic formulation, sila samadhi panya. Sila, the conduct conducive to awakening. So we take this fundamental alignment. This way of returning what it is that brought us here. What it is that stirs us in the path of practice. And we align our body, we align our breath,

[10:47]

We align our intentionality, our dedication, not in battle, not in contrast with the habit energy of our leaders. We deceive, come into contact with the habit energy of our leaders. See the workings of our mind. See the habituated patterns of thought and feeling. And to align it with our behavior. For those of us who have been around a while, follow the schedule completely.

[11:48]

well-worn phrase that I think many of us sort of resent. But know that it works. Giving over to something stimulates a process, stimulates some process like our digestion. Not something you figure out, something that's innate in your being, innate in the interactiveness of being. So the schedule is there to support us to not get mired down in what we want and what we don't want. Just stay with the rhythm of Shishin.

[12:58]

As best you can. With a certain diligence. Try to be on time. Don't cut corners. Maybe even if they're corners that nobody else is ever going to notice except you'll Listen to your own sincerity. Don't force something to happen and don't squirm around the request of being present. Find that kind of effort. And how do you find it? You find it by continually missing the mark.

[14:06]

Trying a little too hard, getting a little lags. Spacing out, and then getting a little caught up in controlling the experience of the moment. Watch and learn. Let it unfold. Letting our diligence not be something that tightens us, something that makes us rigid, but something that keeps inviting us back to that pause. Oh, yeah. Nothing special needs to happen. just present for this. To remember and remember and remember.

[15:11]

This is sila. Conduct. Internal alignment, external relating. And it gives rise to samadhi. Continuous contact. The interesting thing, as we move towards continuous contact, what do we notice? Discontinuous contact. Where was I? Sometimes, as we're engaging more in the moment, something shifts in the capacity to track what normally is simple to track is disrupted.

[16:17]

So be it. Fortunately, we're not here to accomplish anything. But to sustain this constant contact, to sustain the intention the effort of constant contact. Okay, what's happening now? And let the journey unfold. you walk into the zendo, something's beginning over. What's state of mind as you sit down on your cushion?

[17:24]

What state of mind, what's the body feel like now? When you let your body breathe, what's experienced? Is there some dominant mood or emotion or mental preoccupation? So as we bring forth samadhi, this continuous contact, some inquiry is quickened. Usually our inquiry is around drawing conclusions and judgments. The inquiry of Zazen, what's happening now, is not in the service of conclusions.

[18:30]

In the first case of the Blutcliffe records, the emperor... asked Bodhidharma, so what is the point? What is the highest meaning? What is the goal of what we're doing? And Bodhidharma says, it's not holy. There is no highest holy meaning. It's empty. Not to meet the answer to what's happening now with some measurement. Each mental state is its own mental state. Each physical state is its own physical state.

[19:37]

To meet it. And as we meet it and we meet it, it will teach us. It will teach us the difference between meeting the mental, physical state of the moment and being activated by the mental, physical state of the moment. Or on the other side, trying to suppress it. And as we do that, life becomes alive. We start to experience the vibrancy of our being. We've got something to say about everything.

[20:49]

We have some response to it. Blaring response. Sometimes very subtle. Sometimes just a subtle formation. Beeping of a truck backing up. The mental formation barely turned into words. Ceasing of the sign of a truck beeping up. Pleasant sensation. All the time, the being that we are responding to what arises. What is it to just let that become evident? This is the Dharma gate of Panya, of Prajna, of insight.

[22:00]

Not very much, quite a little to do with figuring out. The Emperor says to Bodhidharma, well that's quite an amazing statement to make. Who are you to be able to make an amazing authoritative declaration like that? On what basis, what great understanding, realization, accomplishment have you made that allows you to speak with such certainty. And Bodhi Dharma says, don't know. Just attending to what arises. Experiencing it just in the form that it appears. Not knowing what should happen, not knowing what should not happen.

[23:05]

And this koan, in many ways, an instruction on Zazen. Don't set up some standard that you're going to achieve or fail by. don't know what should happen or should not happen. Don't even know me. Let me reveal itself in the dynamics of what goes on. When it's as simple as hearing, let it be as simple as hearing. when it's as complicated as working with some attitude around a memory that happened, that recounts a story of what happened, at the continuous contact, just meet whatever arises.

[24:28]

So as we start Sashin, letting the request of Zazen sink in, how thoroughly can we let it sink in? Can it become part of our breath? Can it be reflected in how we stand? How we sit? How we eat? How we walk? can we track? Can that spacious request, which can stimulate all sorts of responses, it might stimulate spacious settledness, it might stimulate agitation, it might stimulate drowsiness, it might stimulate mental activity.

[25:34]

Can that also be continuously contacted. My mind is restless. My body feels unaligned, disorganized. OK. The second case of the Blue Cliff Record, Don't pick and choose and the way just unfolds quite organically. Another instruction on Zazen. Another instruction on the path of practice. Don't know in advance what should or should not happen and as it comes up try not to grasp it

[26:44]

push against it, have a judgment around it. Remembering is a process, like digestion. This kind of spacious permission to be what is. in the fancy language of Zen, the direct path of realization and liberation. And to let this become our passion. Let this become intriguing.

[27:49]

And what's my state of mind now? Now that I want to break, what thoughts or feelings flood forth in the process of me taking a break from Zen? What happens? Is my mind filled with, okay, I'll have a cup of this or that and I will do this or that. Do I rush to bed, try to catch some more sleep? What happens? Can you become genuinely interested in who you are when you're taking a break from Zen? And what happens to that person when you re-enter the Zendo? Do they groan, oh no, back to this?

[29:06]

Or somehow, do they paradoxically find some quickening delight in re-entering the samadhi of our shared practice. On this journey, there is no right or wrong. Our karmic life unfolds the way it unfolds. What's happening now? Can the being that pulses through us be given space? Can it be held with awareness?

[30:08]

Adagiri Roshi said, it's like you're holding a big block of wet tofu. It's a very gentle holding. It's not a grasping. You're not grasping yourself by the shoulders, glaring into your own face and saying, what are you doing? holding something with that steadiness of pause, that steadiness that invites a full exhale, that steadiness that mysteriously knows. In the midst of all the dramas and discontents of your life, knows that this process of being alive is utterly amazing.

[31:27]

And on that note, a poem by Vyslava Zimborsko. We're extremely fortunate. We're extremely fortunate to not know. We're extremely fortunate to not know precisely the kind of world we live in. One would have to live a long, long time, unquestionably longer than the world itself. Get to know other worlds, if only for comparison. rise above the flesh, which really only knows how to obstruct and make trouble. For the sake of research, the big picture, definitive conclusions, one would have to transcend time in which everything scurries and whirls.

[32:41]

From that perspective, one might as well bid farewell to incidents The counting of weekdays would inevitably seem like a senseless activity. Dropping letters in a mailbox, a whim of foolishness. The sign, no walking on the grass, a symptom of living. We're extremely fortunate not to know precisely the kind of world we live in. One would have to live a long, long time, unquestionably longer than the world itself. Get to know other worlds, if only for comparison. Rise above the flesh, which only really knows how to obstruct or make trouble. For the sake of research, the big picture, and definitive conclusions, one would have to transcend time in which everything scurries and worlds.

[33:46]

From that perspective, one might as well live the well to influence some deeper. The counting of weekdays would inevitably seem a senseless activity. Dropping letters in the mailbox, a whim of pollution. The sign, no walking on the grass, a symptom of lunacy. So bodhidharmas don't know. It's our initiation. Initiation into a reminder to not be so caught up in what we think should or should not happen. And make this whole process

[34:48]

some endeavor that's expressing our agenda for what practice should be, or our life should be, or we should be, or what we should not be. That pause. And when it hurts emotionally, can you hold it with compassion? it hurts physically, can you be present with it in a way that doesn't combine the pain? When the mind swirls around in its amazing genius, Can there be a sense of wonder?

[35:53]

So this is who I am. This is what I am. This is it. This is the conditioning, the conditioned patterns of me. And it compels with that kind of spacious attitude. And when it can't, when something we provide for the last person struggles with it, be present for that too. And as we move in the Shekin, just gently returning, remembering this process.

[37:16]

As you remember something about what brought you here. is you remember something about the innate wisdom of your being. Discovering something about trust. Something about allowing. Allowing this to be what it is. allowing this to be the life that's being lived. That there isn't a profound need for it to be different.

[38:16]

There is a process, but it's more like digestion, something we give over to, that awareness can hold our life. that the process of returning to the moment will reveal, in its way, not in our way, will reveal the nature of what is. Remembering this, you know, as we start in decision. And with our sila, allowing it to find connection everywhere. how we walk, how we sit, how we stand, how we eat, how we take a break, how we work. So the presence becomes as intriguing and authoritative that all the other stories and agendas and dramas of our life, not that they disappear,

[39:25]

But they stop speaking an absolute truth. They stop commanding full attention. That we can start to see them for what they are. The first koan. And in Santo Zen, we never finish with the first koan. We always are beginners. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[40:32]

May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

[40:35]

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