Good morning, and good morning, Norman, good to see you. So, this is the first day of our Sashin, and I wanted this talk to be a very simple talk about our Sashin practice. One thing I wanted to mention is that during lecture, we take a seated sitting position and sit Sazen during the lecture. I know that

[01:04]

sometimes the lecture can go a longer time than a regular period of Sazen, but please make an effort to sit in Sazen posture during the lecture as best you can. I remember my first Sashin, the lectures were very, very long. I think they were maybe an hour and a half, at least an hour and a half, and Kadagiri Roshi led the Sashin, and he was very intent upon getting his meaning across, and his English was not, he wasn't, well, he was fluent in English, but there were certain things that somehow if we didn't get it, he would go at it from one way, and then another way, and then try another way, and we would be sitting there. But I learned quite a bit by sitting still during lecture

[02:14]

and making an effort to practice Sazen during lecture, which was very different from the effort during a period of Sazen, to be sitting still and allowing the words to come in without trying to parry them, you know, like fencing, just let it come in. Also that first Sashin, I had an enormous amount of fear come up, which was a surprise to me. I hadn't expected that, but I was very uncomfortable and had a lot of pain, and I was not familiar with being in that much pain and not trying to get rid of it in some way and change things, and just to sit there was,

[03:17]

it just, I was terrified, and every period would start, and I'd get into posture. First of all, I had big ideas, I had big plans for the Sashin. I was going to sit full lotus the entire Sashin. That lasted, I think, one period, and then the second period I tried and I thought, I can't do this, and then from then on it was just a struggle, changing positions and adding Zafus and taking Zafus away, and nothing I could do externally would help. There is no, or I would be a little bit more comfortable for a little while, but then if I sat still for a while, the pain would come. So I was really internally squirming and fidgeting and very afraid. A lot of fear came up. And just thinking about that time, also a lot of shame and disappointment in myself,

[04:32]

and a lot of self-recriminations, and because I had such big plans, you know, and I was really, this was my first Sashin, and I was going to show everybody, or some idea like that, sitting for the sake of some idea about what it was all about. And it just got more and more and more troublesome, and at the end, it never ended. It wasn't like, then there's a happy ending to the story where I had a big breakthrough, and then right up until the end there was this struggle, and at the Sashin ended, and everybody was, I remember at the tea, hugging people and joyous and telling about certain experiences, and I, because I hadn't taken a shower for the entire time, that was when we were not showering, and I just left, and went up and washed my hair, and went to bed, and I also looked at everybody

[05:34]

and thought, how can they be so laughing and joyous and happy? Don't they know how horrible that was? So every person sits their own Sashin, and we harmonize with everyone in the room, but each person has their own causes and conditions which are arising to make their Sashin unique. So it's hard to say, you know, that was a great Sashin, and really feel like you can say that for everybody. But we often do feel like the group becomes one body, one harmonized body, following the same schedule, eating the same food, hearing the same words in lecture, and experiencing also the same, you know, weather and light, and so in some ways

[06:37]

we all harmonize, and each person has their own. Both those happen. Also during that Sashin, I hated my neighbor, the person who sat on one side of me, because she was ruining my Sashin. A lot of it was her fault, I thought, because she had this jaw that every time she chewed her food during the meal, her jaw would crack. So there was this noise all during the meals, and I remember thinking, um, that I hated her, and also thinking how she's ruining my Sashin, I mean actually believing that, not that it was maliciously done, but that the reason I was, one of the reasons I was having such a hard time was due to this neighbor. I haven't seen her since that Sashin, but I do remember her name. Um, so just because this person had this particular problem, or I don't know if it's even a problem,

[07:45]

this characteristic, physical characteristic, that was irritating me and annoying me, and then those feelings of irritation and annoyance, um, allowed, um, you know, the growth of ill will, ill will, harboring ill will. I also, I've told this story before, but I had a roommate, um, who during the breaks would come up and fix her hair different ways, like first she had a ponytail, then she put it in braids, then she had a ponytail on the side, then half up and half down, and then, and I remember thinking about her, thinking it's not going to work, it's not going to help. Um, so I got that, that there was some external way that we often make things better, you know, get a manicure. Often that actually is a very, um, you know, it can be a refreshing thing to

[08:54]

buy a new piece of clothing or, um, change your circumstance in some way, go take a walk, but I think she was having a hard time too, and she was trying her usual ways, um, but it didn't seem to work. So any ideas that we have about strategy to get through the Sashin, uh, you will see that, um, they may work for a little bit, a period or so, but they don't hold, um, they won't hold you, they won't support you through the Sashin, anything external like that. So, so what is the practice of Sashin? Well, it really is a very simple practice, and, and we've, you know, as we read the admonitions in Zazen last night and went

[10:00]

over things in orientation, uh, follow the schedule completely, and, you know, we may have some ideas about, um, this works for me, this doesn't work for me, I don't want to do this part, but I like this part, um, those kinds of ideas that were maybe flooded with, um, will not, um, will just confuse things. If, if we can have some kind of spirit of making an effort to just do completely what's in front of us, whether it's walking from, you know, where we're sleeping to the Zendo, mindfully, upon hearing the wake-up bell, getting up, um, taking care of our Oryoki bowls quietly, being very aware of the amounts of food we're taking, what works for our body, the taste, the smell, completely, completely entering each

[11:04]

simple moment of the day. And Sashin is, is so rare and unique because that's all we have to do this week. There's, no one's asking us to do any big complicated things, you know, we'll be doing a little work, pretty simple work, hoeing and weeding or planting, um, but we have a reprieve maybe from our, um, complicated lives of decision-making and so forth. We can, just like it says in the Fukanza Zengi, cast aside all involvements and cease all affairs. So to have this week, this is so rare, to have this kind of time with, um, this kind of support, being fed, being housed, um, hearing the sounds of the schedule, sounds of the monastery that are telling you when to do

[12:12]

things, when, when to go here, when to go there, you don't have to get involved in your usual way, you can just let the Sashin take care of you completely. But it will, it will need your effort to meet the Sashin completely in order for the Sashin to take care of you. It's a mutual, meeting. I'm gonna cough. Get your ears. So, um, I heard this story from Fu about Sabrina. Everyone knows who Sabrina is, don't you? She's the little girl who was adopted by Fu and Grace and lives at Green Gulch. And she has a lot of physical problems, um, that were with her at birth, in utero and at birth. And she has her walker and she uses it

[13:21]

very, she's very strong. Her upper body strength is amazing. She whoops around on her, um, walker. Well, one day Fu's car was, um, not working very well. And Sabrina said, I'll help you fix that car. I'm Gus. And Gus can do things. Gus knows a lot of things. Gus can walk. Um, so Sabrina has, um, you know, an alter ego or an imaginary being that she is. And that, that person can do everything and help and be, and can walk. And, um, I feel like having that kind of spirit, um, is the spirit that it takes to do Sasheen.

[14:33]

The spirit of, um, I can do, I can do this. I can walk. Um, a kind of, um, rising mind that comes forward to meet whatever it is that's, uh, coming to meet you. Actually, you don't have to go forward. You just have to stay very still and present. And whatever is coming to meet you will come and meet that way. So you don't have to go out. Your effort is to stay completely present and still in whatever you're doing, be it doing your work, doing your orioke, walking, to have this still mind, present mind. So in, um, in the Fukanzo Zengi, it says, um, as I quote it, cast aside all involvements

[15:47]

and cease all affairs. We may find ourselves in a situation where we may find ourselves in a that we're not able to do that, to cease all affairs. They, that's what begins to arise for us. The affairs of our life, often the unfinished business of our life begins to bubble up while we're sitting very still, very present. Uh, thoughts will arise, maybe very, um, thoughts that we don't want to hear about. We don't want to know about that are very painful. Um, and, you know, when I said each person has their own sashin to, um, to think that, you know, the people who have, um, said many, many sessions are going to have

[16:48]

an easier time than someone for whom it's their first session is, um, I don't think it's quite right. I think quite accurate. I feel like, um, some people who've been practicing many, many years and said countless sessions may find, uh, because of what's happening in their life, they have very difficult time this sashin. So don't assume that, um, the older students are at ease and the younger ones are struggling or... There's a story that, um, recently came to my attention that reminded me of this, um, being present and listening and watching what's coming up in the mind, even tiny things to be present for them.

[17:49]

Uh, this is a story about, um, Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors. I think you may know the story from the Bible. Joseph was, um, sold into slavery by his brothers and then they took his beautiful coat of many colors that his father Jacob had given him and dipped it in blood and then told the father Jacob that he had been killed. Meanwhile, in Egypt, Joseph did very, very well. And during a famine years later, his brothers came into Egypt to see if they could find food and he recognized them and forgave them and wanted the family to come into Egypt to be, um, take care of their... So the brothers, um, knew that they had to tell Jacob that Joseph, his beloved son, was still alive, but he was an old man by now. And his heart, uh, they felt he may not be able to withstand this news, even though

[18:53]

it was good news. So they devised a way to, uh, let Jacob know. Um, one of his granddaughter's name was Sarah. She was seven years old and they asked, she played the harp, and they asked her to sing to him, uh, and within her singing to tell him that Joseph was still alive. So Sarah, this little seven-year-old girl, went, she began playing her harp and singing so softly that he couldn't hear what she was saying. She was singing, Joseph is alive, Joseph is alive, very, very quiet. And he couldn't even hear what the words were. And slowly she got a little louder, a little louder, until he actually heard it on a, on the level of his bones and marrow and cells before he actually heard it consciously. So that when he finally could hear what she was saying, he knew already. And it had

[19:56]

come in so subtly and so gently that he could stand it. And he was overjoyed. And he said, is it true? Is it true? And she said, yes, it's true. So in the same way, um, I want to ask us all to, um, listen for, uh, this quiet, uh, voice or harp that's playing that might be whispering something, that might be pointing something out, that might be arising, something to pay attention to. Um, and it may be happy news, like Joseph is alive, but it may be, um, very sad. It may be some truth in your life that you haven't been ready to accept or to look at or to hear, uh, that may be,

[20:57]

that may come up in Sashin. So if you, uh, this gentle way that it can come, it may come in like Gamebusters too, but often it's the very quiet intimations that we miss. So it means, um, harmonizing our body and mind, uh, to be able to hear what's there and see what's there. I wanted to read, um, something from Dogen. This is from the fascicle called Guidelines for Studying the Way, which in Japanese is Gyakudo Yojinshu, and, um, just something about, um, some words about practice that I find very helpful. People of the present say you should

[22:00]

practice what is easy to practice. These words are quite mistaken. They are not at all in accord with the Buddha way. It is obvious that people who are fond of easy practice are not capable of the way. In fact, the Dharma spread and is now present in the world because our great teacher, Shakyamuni, practiced with difficulty and pain for immeasurable eons and finally attained this Dharma. If the original source is like this, how could the latter streams be easy? So, um, to actually understand that it is difficult, it's not easy, Shakyamuni practiced with difficulty and pain, and I just read about what Shakyamuni Buddha did in the last watch of the night, and because he'd been often sitting all day, he had to get up and walk and walk to kind of ease the pain in his body, which comes from, um, sitting long periods

[23:05]

of time, and he would also lie on his right side, the lion pose, and rest, um, in the night. So, we need to take care of our body, um, and we have, um, you know, Dzogchen and Kinyin, time to get up, move, kind of ease our body as we continue our meditation as we walk, and then that refreshes us to go back to sitting. Students who would like to study the way must not wish for easy practice. If you seek easy practice, you will for certain never reach the ground of truth or dig down to the place of treasure. You know, we've been studying, um, in the koan class, many of you, I know, take it about the, um, the two Zen masters, Xue Feng and Yanto, and their teacher Deshan, and Xue Feng was actually enlightened with Yanto, who said,

[24:10]

the family treasure does not come in through the gate. That was the turning phrase. So, each one of us has the family treasure. It's not somebody else out there doesn't have it and give it to you. You, we each have our family treasure. So, Dzogchen says, if you seek easy practice, you will for certain never reach the ground of truth or dig down to the place of treasure. So, the treasure isn't, um, kind of lying scattered on the ground, you know, or I, maybe I should say that, um, if it is scattered on the ground, we can't see it. So, the family treasure doesn't come in from outside. You have to dig your own. You have to dig for your own treasure. Gold doubloons and pieces of eight. And then, uh, he goes on. On the other hand, we can see that breaking bones or crushing marrow

[25:16]

is not difficult, but to harmonize the mind is most difficult. Again, the practice of prolonged austerities is not difficult, but to harmonize bodily activities is most difficult. So, the difficulty of session is not necessarily taking the cross-legged position over and over or, um, not having snacks between meals or something that you might think of as austerity, you know, some kind of austerity. The real difficulty is harmonizing our body and mind. Uh, the rest is, is, can become, um, especially after the first couple days when we settle in, it feels like this is, um, the schedule and this way of eating together and resting and work is, is very easy, actually. It's the most, it's simple practice, whereas our life in, in our regular everyday life or world is,

[26:26]

we see how difficult that practice is. So, so what's hard and what's easy, you know, shifts back and forth. And harmonizing the mind is what's difficult. So, um, so everything that comes up in your mind, um, is you. Even if we think that it's objects outside, sounds and visual things, sensations, everything from the, the five skandhas, uh, the feels of the five skandhas, the visibles, the tasteables, the touchables and the thoughts and the, um, hearables, um, to, to relate to those

[27:30]

or, um, see them as your own mind, see them as the family treasures that's, that you dig for, that are right there. They're not outside and separate from you, but this is your mind. That kind of effort to see those, to see things that we usually see as outside, as neither outside nor inside, but, um, try on the thought of seeing these as, uh, not outside of your own mind. So in that case, everything that comes up, uh, needn't disturb you. You needn't reject it or grab it to just leave it be. And, you know, Norman said something last Sashin, um, that he discovered during Sashin,

[28:42]

which I found very helpful, which was distinguishing, having a, um, realization that pain and his dislike of the pain were two separate things. There was the sensation of pain and then along with it came, I don't like it, get it away or whatever. But those were not, um, one in the same. They were distinct and this was extremely freeing. So all of these sensations and sounds and visibles, um, to just receive them and one, and just appreciate them as they are and, um, drop, if you can, and be aware of how, how difficult this is to do, but the, um, the commentary about them. Um, I wanted to tell one more, uh, story

[29:54]

before I close, which is a true story that just happened at Greek Gulch, um, day before yesterday. And I'm telling this story, um, because each thing that comes, each thought, each sound, each taste, each touchable, um, can be, uh, the teacher that helps us to wake up, helps us to see that the family jewels don't come from outside. And so this mind that doesn't reject any of it and just appreciates whatever it is that's coming, um, is, is a ready mind that's ready in, uh, to be woken up. So, um, so many things can be our teachers. And, um, the other day there was, um,

[30:58]

a deer, a baby deer. We have so many deer at Greek Gulch right now. And this little baby deer was just losing its spots. There were two of them, came in, got into the farm through a fence that, um, uh, was it, they pushed it down. It actually wasn't left open, but they were able to push it open. And so some of the people in the farm saw these, these deer were inside the gates and knew the damage they could do to the crops. So they got some help to, um, try and get the deer out. And I think there were maybe about five people or maybe a few more. And they began to shoo the deer, uh, trying to, you know, move towards them so that they would come around. And one of the deer, both of these were these young ones, fawns found the gate and went out and the other one got separated somehow and began to run and, um, and began to try to

[32:06]

get out through some of the fencing and was running into the fencing like repeatedly. And, um, after that, um, the deer just laid down. And so one of the people in the farm, um, came close to it and thought it was resting. It was just wiped out from being chased around. And so he picked the deer up and carried it out and set it outside the gate. But when he set it down, he realized that the deer had died. And everyone felt terrible. Uh, and, uh, you know, there's a lot of talk about what actually happened. How did this, how could this happen? Because here was a group of people who love, um, living beings and had no malicious intent, no, um, harming in mind,

[33:19]

were trying to take care of the farm and take care of getting the animal into its regular habitat. And yet this, um, tragedy happened. So, um, the word deer, by the way, the root of the word deer is, um, it has to do with, um, vapor that, um, or, or smoke or air, uh, that rises up. And it's, it has, uh, a semantic correlation with words having to do with breath. And in Germanic language, um, the root means a breathing animal. So, uh, the deer, and this morning there was a herd of them, about five as I was coming down from the hill cabin. Um, they have, um,

[34:24]

um, they have a spirit, you know, you feel their spirit. So, um, who was this deer, this baby deer who came to Green Gulch? And, uh, there was enormous amount of teaching that happened because in, in looking at the situation, even without any, uh, harmful intent or, um, maliciousness of any kind, still this kind of, this happened. And in looking at it, you know, one person I spoke with said they would have done it very differently. They would have not shouted and not chased and gone very slowly and, uh, just would have done it very differently. And they would have, you know, now that gate is going to be really reinforced. And so we'll, um, so there'll be some changes made. And so,

[35:26]

uh, very small, um, events, even with our best intentions can have, uh, results. Even when we try to remove the spider from the room, if we don't do it carefully, we smash the spider just in our good intention to bring it out. We see it's broke four of its legs, you know. So to bring this intention of harmonizing body and mind into all parts of our body, into our arms and legs and fingers and hands and voice and eyes, uh, to have it reach every part of ourselves, um, can be our effort. And, and in Sashin, um, this intention, uh, can have, uh, what occurs to me to say is free reign can have, uh,

[36:34]

that's all that's happening is to bring your intention to wake up and non-harming into all parts of your activity without exception. So when we sit, we don't sit for the sake of fame or gain or, um, any reason. We don't even sit, Dogen says, for the sake, for the benefit of others. We sit for Buddhadharma alone. And there's a, I was told when I first started sitting that there's three big obstacles to sitting. One is great wealth, great intelligence, and great beauty. And those three things, um, sometimes make it very hard to practice. If you have great wealth, uh, your, your alternatives

[37:40]

are so vast, it's hard to settle down, you know, it's hard to, because you could be flying to Bali this weekend and you really don't have that much time to sit. Um, so it's vast kind of opportunity. And great intelligence, you know, you, um, it's very hard not to comment and criticize and bring in your insights and disagree and get very, um, uh, and often, you know, a kind of brilliance that, um, doesn't allow a very simple teaching to come in. And great beauty, uh, sometimes those of us, those of the human living beings who have great beauty are treated so differently than others that the world is, you know, um, distorted in a very, um, heavenly way. You know, doors open and teachers call on you. I mean, you know, there's

[38:45]

all sorts of studies about good-looking children get called on in school and, um, picked to be the monitor and this and that. So life, um, you maybe are, um, uh, you can't settle because you're constantly being put up on pedestals by people. So, so these obstacles, um, but they don't have to be obstacles to practice. Uh, and all of our obstacles can just be encouragements to practice hard. So, um, please make effort, everyone. And I say that to myself too, take care of each other.

[39:54]

Help each other. Thank you very much. May our intention...

[40:17]

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