This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Are we in? So remember, wave and make some noise if you cannot hear me. This was an exciting morning. It's so interesting preparing a talk and realizing that we are all in parallel universes. I'm in my technology freak-out universe. And I don't know where you are. It's... It's always a little exciting because I dashed over to Norman, you know, in the Abbott's cabin because I couldn't figure out how to get my talk from my computer to the iPad.

[01:10]

And we had a couple of false starts as the minutes were ticking by. And I thought, wow, this is a really weird sesheen. Anyway, how are we doing? like thumbs oh boy okay that's pretty good you know there's a little variation there but so we have a waxing crescent which means I think tonight it's tonight it's a crescent tomorrow it's the first quarter and so the first quarter rises around midday and sets in the middle of the night. So at sunset, it's around sunset, it's up. It's more or less straight up. That's tomorrow. Tonight, it'll be off in that direction, but very visible.

[02:14]

I saw the crescent moon last night with Mars close by to the right. So tonight, Mars will be lower. So the moon will be a little higher and Mars will be a little bit lower. take a look and in the morning over there if you're lucky it's you have to kind of place yourself in the right spot but you can see Venus really low really bright and Jupiter up higher so that would be let's see that would have been during Kenyan this morning because by after breakfast it's light if you have the wherewithal and the presence of mind to see it before Zazen, you could see it then, too. Saturn is up there, too, but I didn't see it. I couldn't spot it. So next Tuesday, Norman and I will be gone, but you will have the supermoon.

[03:16]

So that's Tuesday the 19th, I believe. And the supermoon means... it's going to look especially bright. It means when the moon in its orbit around the Earth is at its closest point. So there's, it's called perigee. The moon, you know, the moon doesn't make a perfect circle around the Earth. It makes an oval. So at the closest point, it's called perigee, and the moon looks bright. And at that time, the tides are likely to be especially high and especially low. It's The time, if it coincides with a storm, it's kind of guaranteed flooding all over the place, but we don't have to worry about tides here. Anyway, keep an eye on the moon this week. Meantime, back here in the Zendo, you know, Oriyuki, it's like night diving for me because, you know, everything's black.

[04:22]

It's like the bowl and the chops, everything's black. So we like to go diving at night. It's a little freaky, but you get to see animals at night that are not out in the day because the daytime animals would eat them if they were. So there's the nighttime crew and the daytime crew. So if you go out at night, you see a lot of weird animals that are pretty wonderful. And, you know, you look, sometimes you turn off your flashlight and see all the bioluminescence, which is also wonderful. And so it kind of reminds me of Orioki, except it brings to mind, maybe I should just bring my headlamp, especially to breakfast. You know, we have underwater flashlights for these things. But Orioki, you know, every day I lose my chopsticks and I think, Maybe I dropped them and didn't hear it and I look around or maybe I left them back in our room or Maybe I put them in my pocket.

[05:29]

I don't know where they go and they usually turn up either right in front of me where I can't see them or sometimes under my zabutan I usually find them So that's exciting and then this morning I was noticing, I'm really trying to wear my new coromo, you know, these giant sleeves which, you know, the history of the giant sleeve, of course, is the giant sleeves are worn by the people who don't work. They also grew their fingernails very long because you can't really work if you have very long fingernails and giant sleeves. And that's for sure, right? So I've got these giant sleeves and I'm thinking, wow, potential energy. And here comes the gamachio, a lever. And I'm thinking, uh-huh, I can just see a little, you know, just a little flick of the sleeve and, you know, gamachio will be spread all around.

[06:34]

Or, you know, there's actually enough potential energy to fling the entire bowl of walnuts and who knows what. So I'm thinking, This is a dangerous situation I'm in. I made a really good mistake last week. It was breakfast time. I was sitting there. Along comes the cereal. I accept the cereal. I put my bowl down. I'm looking. Along comes the soup. And it's a miso soup with It looked like mushrooms and wakame, which I love. And wakame is an algae called undaria, and it's actually an invasive in California, and we see it a lot. So I often think, I could just pick some and take it home and make soup.

[07:37]

Anyway, I saw this soup and I thought, OK, how am I going to eat a bowl of soup fast enough to get seconds. That's what I was thinking. And so I handed the server my bowl. The server was Robin. Robin? I don't know if he remembers this. I don't know if you do, Robin, wherever you are. I gave him my bowl and Robin took a scoop like half full of soup and he sort of gingerly started putting it in the bowl. And I thought, Robin, come on, soup. Takes another, like a half scoop of soup gingerly and I'm thinking what's with the gingerly and then I realized I'd given him my third bowl so here we are like okay my third bowl is really wide and so it's got soup in it right so you know I'm taking the soup and putting it down and then along comes the third bowl which was tofu

[08:46]

And I thought, yes! Finally, I get a big serving of tofu because I have a bowl to put it in. The wrong bowl, but still. This is good. You know, this is how evolution takes place. You know, evolution is the long, long result of mistakes, genetic mutations. Little mistakes. Most mistakes are either, you know, like in the zendo, no big deal. They're kind of embarrassing, but, you know, nobody's going to die. Some mistakes are really bad for the organism. And some mistakes, every now and again, it's rare, but some mistakes turn out to be a really good idea. And if the organism is really lucky, it will get to reproduce. And if it's really, really lucky, it's probably got to be an invertebrate so it can have 10,000 babies.

[09:54]

Among the babies, maybe 5, 10, 15, if they're really lucky, will inherit this good idea and eventually pass it on. That's how evolution takes place. So I'm thinking, if I came back here in 40 years, maybe... like people would have a choice of using their second bowl or their third bowl, depending on what is served. I mean, that's not overly characteristic of Zen, you know. But still, you know, changes. Norman and I have seen changes here. And so I'm thinking, wow, maybe so. It would be a problem for the kitchen. I realize that. They wouldn't know how much to make, you know. And then there's the doshi. Oh my gosh. So, every day I make mistakes when I'm doshi and, you know, nobody knows possibly but Hakusho and me and maybe a few others.

[11:05]

But at the end, you know, I find myself wandering around looking for a parking place for my car You know, I don't quite know where I'm supposed to end up, and I think, I should just ask Hakusho about this. And then, of course, I leave the Zendo and forget. So I'm still kind of wandering around. Sometimes I go there, sometimes I go there. But the bottom line is this bag of bones, this bag of bones is the place of my life. this bag of bones which is connected to other bags of bones, this daughter of my mother and father, this sister of my brother, mother of my sons and grandmother of my grandsons, and daughters, actually one grandson, two granddaughters, this friend of my friends, this wife of my husband,

[12:14]

And this stranger to most humans, this bag of bones, connected and also discreet, is my time and my place on earth. And this bag of bones is my responsibility. The particularity of this bag of bones supports a concept of I, me and mine. No other bag of bones exactly shares my experience. I am unique. The concept of I, me, mine is essential for getting things done, for keeping things organized. It's like white. It's a mental averaging together of selected moments. A coherent story.

[13:15]

which I repeat and revise a little bit over a long, long time. This is how we survive. And when we're stuck in this concept, this is also the source of our suffering. Because if there's an I, a me, and a mine, there's a you and a yours. And there is comparison. And either you or I are better or worse than the other. Either you or I will get that thing. How will I get what I want? How do I rate among these people? I'm always the worst. I'm always the best. Either way, we have suffering. So in our meditation practice,

[14:16]

we move in, we fully inhabit this bag of bones. That means the myriad things that we have picked up, we put down. Things like comparing ourselves to others, trying to figure out if we are better or worse, smarter or dumber, more enlightened or less enlightened. And when we sit down in the zendo for long days, we get the sense that we are not who we think we are. We are who and where we are. We are connected to all being, and we are here. We learn in Buddhism that mind is one of the senses

[15:16]

according to Yogacara, according to our Vasubandhu Dayosho, which is foundational to Zen, mind is a sense like the lateral line of fish or the ampullae of Lorenzini of sharks and the chemo receptors of insects. With mind, we make sense. and we make use of our environment. We make plans, we make self, we make white. We average together information to form a concept so that we can function. And each of our human capacities has a use. and deserve our respect including anger and jealousy and depression all the dark capacities as well as the bright ones like compassion and wisdom we can never really rid ourselves of the dark human capacities even if we wanted to we can

[16:45]

let go of attachment to these capacities. We can let go of identifying with them as our real selves and see them as tools. A tool is something we pick up to use for a purpose, like a hammer for driving in a nail. We don't hold on to the hammer after we're finished using it. We don't dress it up in a costume. We don't wear it as a hat. We don't pound ourselves or others over the head with it. We put it back in the tool chest for when we might need it again or when someone else might need it again. So I was thinking about this tool metaphor and it reminded me of the case in the Shou Yoroku, case number 10, called The Old Woman of Mount Taishan.

[17:55]

So I'd like to read that. If I can. On the road to Taishan, there lived a certain woman. Whenever a monk asked her, which way does the road to Taishan go? The woman would say, right straight on. As soon as the monk would go, the woman would say, a fine priest. He goes that way too. A monk told Zhao Zhou about this. Zhao Zhou said, hmm. wait till I check out this woman for you. Zhao Zhou also asked the woman the same question. The next day, he went up in the hall and said, I have checked out the woman for you.

[19:02]

End of story. You gotta love Zhao Zhou. I also brought... translation in the hidden lamp the hidden lamp stories from the 25 centuries of awakened women and this is the very first one in the hidden lamp and thank you sue the old woman of Mount Wutai so Taishan so different translations of the shoyu roku or of this koan, not of the shoyu roku, but of this koan, it's also in the mumonkan, different translations call the mountain different things.

[20:04]

So one is called wu dai wu tai mountain or something like that. But anyway, shan means mountain, I think, and tai is dai, great. And it was a pilgrimage. and it was the mountain of Bodhisattva Manjushri. So lots of people made the pilgrimage to Mount Taishan or Mount Wutai. So this reads, An old woman lived on the road to Mount Wutai. A monk on pilgrimage asked her, Which is the way to Mount Wutai? The old woman said, right straight ahead. The monk took a few steps and she said, he's a good monk, but off he goes just like the others. Monks came one after another. They'd asked the same question and received the same answer.

[21:07]

Later, a monk told Master Zhao Zhou Zongshan what had happened and Zhao Zhou said, I'll go and investigate that old woman myself. Next day, Zhao Zhou went to the old woman and asked, which is the way to Mount Wutai? Right straight ahead, she replied. Zhao Zhou took a few steps. The old woman said, he's a good monk, but off he goes, just like the others. Zhao Zhou returned to the monastery and told the monks, I have checked out the old woman of Wutai for you. End of story. For me, this koan has a kind of melancholy feeling.

[22:12]

Here's this old woman living on Mount Taishon or Mount Wutai, accomplished in the way, has a lot to offer. Young monk stopped by, maybe with some frequency, asking her which way is the way to Mount Taishon. And what is that question? I haven't found what I'm looking for, and I've heard I can find it on Mount Taishon, on the wondrous Mount Taishon. I'm going to go see if I can find it there. She replies with a turning phrase, good instructions for meditation. But the monk mistakes it for Google Map directions and takes off. And So I feel a kind of loneliness for her when I read this. And I also feel her empathy and sadness and hope for the young monk who goes off looking for something on Mount Utai.

[23:21]

She must feel how each man, probably mostly or all men, how each man is haunted and driven by great doubt, by his own shortcomings and his need to find fulfillment. And she offers a practice right straight on. In the Platform Sutra, there's one section on one practice samadhi. and a little bit of a discussion about it. And Hui Nang says, One practice samadhi means, at all times, whether walking, standing, sitting, or lying down, always practicing with a straightforward mind. And he goes on to say that Vimakirti also taught, No matter what you're doing, Vimalakirti was not a monk.

[24:25]

He was in the world and he was in meditation. No matter what you're doing, straightforward mind. So that is what the woman of Mount Taishan is offering these monks. There's a very interesting discussion in the commentary about doubt. One comment is, This monk did not make an obstacle of doubt and went right off. A fine monk, he goes that way too. So making an obstacle of doubt, this is something we deal with in our everyday lives all the time. Second-guessing and critiquing ourselves and others at every turn. In a monastic setting like Tassajara, We work with this. Whenever anyone asks us to do anything, we just do it to the best of our ability.

[25:29]

Right now, in Sashin, when we hear a bell, we just start walking toward it. It's that simple. Just right here, bell, right straight on to the zendo. So these monks were doing this practice. And it's a good practice. And that is why the old woman says, a fine monk. She recognizes their effort at this practice and is very kind. Then a bit farther on in the commentary with Zhao Zhou's response to the monk, wait till I check her out for you. It says, he slaughters everyone with doubt. This old fellow is aged but doesn't rest his mind. So he, you know, a conversation was reported to him, and he did not whack the monk.

[26:33]

He did not yell quats or any of the Zen things that people do. He said, hmm, let me go check her out for you. And he did. He was... It was more startling, that response was more startling than, you know, a typical Zen response. It also, slaughter doubt also probably means, slaughtering doubt means getting enlightened, you know, slaughtering the great doubt, awakening, you know, awakening them. So it's probably ambiguous there. Little about Zhao Zhou. So many of you know, some of you probably don't. Zhao Zhou started teaching at age 80.

[27:34]

And he died at about age 120. His teacher was Nan Chuan. Great teacher Nan Chuan. Maybe especially famous for cutting a cat in half. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. We don't know. But Zhao Zhou was, his koans, his work, are noted for understatement. He was the master of understatement. And so his koans are delightful that way. When I think of Zhao Zhou, I think of an old blues guy. You know, he's been through a lot. And, you know, he doesn't really have to say much about it. You know, like, what are some of those blues lines? Been down so long, it looks like up to me. He has that kind of soul.

[28:37]

So, and he's always responding to questions in that way. He is the one, of course, he's, you know, does the dog have Buddha nature? And it's probably the most famous Zen koan. And I think... The Zhajo of my heart and soul, you know, I can imagine the conversation. Zhajo, he was a great and famous teacher in his time. A monk comes in, Master Zhajo, does the dog have Buddha nature? Zhajo's going, eh, nah. End of koan. but we don't know. Anyway, it's perfectly possible that if this story or something like this story actually took place, it's perfectly possible that Zhao Zhou knew the old woman. She probably didn't, I mean, Zhao Zhou was probably 100 years old and he walked over to visit her.

[29:45]

It couldn't have been all that far. Maybe he went over and he said, you know, where's the what's the road to Mount Tyshawn? And she said, right straight on. And he took some steps and she replied and they both burst out laughing and he sat down and had a cup of tea. You know, maybe it went that way. We don't know. But in any case, this old woman, we don't even know her name. another remarkable thing about this koan. But the real reason I thought of this koan doesn't have anything to do with all that. It has to do with the tool metaphor that I was talking about. That we can learn to pick up each and every one of our capacities as tools and put them down.

[30:48]

Because they don't belong to us what belongs to us. What is us? You know, who are we? These capacities just come rolling along, rolling through, just like the weather. And so the reason I thought of this koan was the introductory verse. The introductory verse to the koan goes like this. With gathering and with release, the pole is by his side, able to kill... able to give life. Passions, demons, outsiders, all rely on his direction. The earth, mountains, and rivers all become playthings in his hands. So, I just love that image of Zhao Zhao. He doesn't, like, stay in a cave. He doesn't withdraw into the monastery. He doesn't... He's a great, famous guy.

[31:53]

And he just... There's a lot of stories about how he goes here and he goes there. He gets out. And here he is, you know, the sense that there is no separation between Zhao Zhou and anything, anything at all, whether it's this troubled monk or that troubled monk or, you know, a monk's report about a conversation or... his own whatever arises in him, all of it, he's big enough to accept all of it. So I'm thinking, you know, in our meditation and in our lives, We're really good at picking things up. And we're not so great at putting them down.

[32:57]

And our meditation practice is the place where we can learn to put things down when we are finished using them. It is very much like the practice of restraint It's a kind of restraint. We restrain ourselves from that same thought, that same story we tell ourselves over and over again, deepening that neural groove. Just restrain and leave it alone. Allow it to fall away. It's like not scratching the poison oak, which is really hard to do. That really takes effort if you've ever had poison oak. It's like not snapping back with the same thing that we always say back to that person.

[34:01]

It's restraint. It's an effort of non-doing and it takes effort. But when we make this effort, something changes. We don't know what We don't know when. Through the practice of restraint, which is not our favorite word in the dictionary, of all the words in the dictionary, it is not on our top ten list, restraint. But with this practice, we grow patience, and we grow strength, and we grow wisdom. I'd like to read a few of the verses from the Platform Sutra about this. The Platform Sutra really emphasizes this point.

[35:06]

I think my last talk I dropped off at the Dharma Body of Buddha section of the Platform Sutra. So this is the Myriad Fold Transformation Body section. What do we mean by the myriad-fold transformation body? If we didn't think, our nature would be utterly empty. When we think, we transform ourselves. If we think evil thoughts, we turn into the denizens of hell. If we think good thoughts, we turn into the deities of heaven. Malice turns us into beasts. Compassion turns us into bodhisattvas. Wisdom transports us to the higher realms. And ignorance sends us into the lower depths. Our nature is constantly transforming. And a little later, he's defining the terms maha prajnaparamita.

[36:16]

And this is just one little section on what does Maha mean? He says, what does Maha mean? Maha means great. The capacity of the mind is so great. It's like space. But if you practice empty mind Zen, you will fall into a featureless void. In this world of ours, space has room. for the sun and the moon and the stars, the earth and its mountains and rivers, every plant and tree, bad people and good people, bad teachings and good teachings, heavens and hells. All of this exists in space. The emptiness of our nature is also like this. So all of this has a place in our meditation body, settled and inhabited body, breath, heartbeat, and gravity, which connects us to the whole earth.

[37:35]

At the same time, some thoughts and feelings wafting through. I was talking to Jane, and she We call this sharing space. Sharing space. Sharing space with a calm and comfortable body and some thoughts. Sharing space. The space is great. It's large enough for all things. The meditation body is not defiled by thoughts. and going on with the Platform Sutra on Maha. Huenang says, Our nature contains the 10,000 dharmas.

[38:38]

That's how great it is. And the 10,000 dharmas are our nature. To see humans and non-humans, both the good and the bad, good dharmas and bad dharmas, without rejecting them. and without being corrupted by them this is to be like space this is what we mean by great this is what maha means well thank you very much and take care of yourselves For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[39:46]

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