Good morning. The longer I sit in Sashin, the less I feel like coughing. Of course, part of that is the instructions that we have about sitting Sazen, right? Give up the... Let's see. You must therefore cease from practice based on intellectual understanding, pursuing words and following after speech and learn the backward step that turns your light inwardly to illuminate the self. Cast aside all involvements and cease all affairs. Do not think good or bad. Do not administer pros and cons. Cease all the movements of the conscious mind, the gauging of all thoughts and views. How are you supposed to do a dharma culture? Laughter I feel, I mean, one of the reasons I feel less like talking is I feel the more we sit together, the more I feel connected to all of you, the more I feel that, you know, through our breath and through our presence together in the room, we're sort of building one body of practice.

[01:23]

And it's... like we are all extensions of each other. So it almost doesn't seem necessary to speak. And yet, you know, I can recall that before I had sat as many sessions as I have sat now, I needed a lot of encouragement to keep it up. Because my legs hurt so. or my back, or my neck, or something. Fortunately, that's not the case now. That is, pain is not my big problem now. Sleepiness is more of a problem for me now.

[02:26]

So I tried the stick the other day. Was that a help for people for sleepiness, both the sound of the stick on others or feeling it yourself? A lot of people ask for it. I think everybody's really curious. Or maybe everybody just had tight shoulders. But I think we'll carry it again today. And again, if you don't want to receive it just as you would when you have enough cereal, just say, no, thank you. with your hand. You know, when we chant Dogen Senji's great expression of faith in the Heikoso Hotsuganmon, or the just... bottomless faith that he expresses in Zazen, in both Fukan Zazangi and Zijiu Zamai.

[03:38]

I realize how it is that I have come to sit for so long. As I've mentioned any number of times, I first came... So I was in instruction, although I thought it was really weird because I didn't know anybody that did anything like that. This was 40 years ago now. It was not quite as prevalent as it is now. Because I had discovered that I was going to die. Now, you would think by the time I was 43, which I was, that I would have known that. But... It's something that you don't necessarily let yourself know directly until it comes up and barks at you. And in my case, as I've mentioned, my best friend suddenly had a really bad headache and went to the doctor, was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, and died just boom, boom, boom.

[04:49]

And more recently I've heard that there's this Tibetan slogan, death is certain, time of death is uncertain. Those things don't necessarily sink into us until we've had some personal experience of death to people close to us. And often we still don't think that it quite includes me. There's a quotation that John King used in his class when he had his diagnosis. I think it was from Plato. Anyhow, someone asked Plato, sir, what is the most strange thing that you've run across or something like that? He said, that men seeing all around them die, that a man seeing all around him die, yet believes that he will not. And I think for us, you know, that's pretty accurate.

[05:57]

Until the moment when you realize, oh, I personally am also impermanent. And at that point, I became quite frantic in wanting to know, well, gee, how do you live if you know you're going to die? That must... That knowledge must have an effect on how you live. It occurred to me. I don't know why that thought occurred to me, but I think it's very accurate. And in the course of my great distress... Somebody told me about the Berkeley Zendo, and I went there and had Zazen instruction. I met Mel at the time. He was a brand-new monk then. That was maybe May, June, July. It was two months after he was ordained.

[07:02]

But Suzuki Roshi had asked him to open a Zendo in Berkeley, so he did. And then Suzuki Roshi came over every Monday and gave a lecture there, and then we all came over to Sokoji Temple. where Suzuki Roshi was at the time, on Saturday mornings for the half-day sitting, like we have now, and on Wednesday nights for Suzuki Roshi's lectures. And later, you know, sometimes Katagiri Roshi would lecture or Kobachino Roshi would lecture. But when I met Suzuki Roshi... I had the immediate experience. He knows. He knows what I need to know about how you live if you know you're going to die. As I got to know him better, he was such a compassionate person and so warm and encouraging.

[08:07]

I wanted to be like him, so I wanted to do what he did. So he sat satsan, I sat satsan. I think that's how a lot of us come to sit satsan, is we meet someone who really impresses us as a good and kind person, a person that we would like to emulate, and they sit satsan, I'll sit satsan. I mean, Katagiri Roshi was that kind of person too, so was Kobanchino. And I would guess that for many of you, the first teacher that you met had some quality that made you want to be like them, so I'll do what they do. Anyhow, that's how it was for me. And I have found great encouragement in a great deal of the teaching.

[09:11]

that I have encountered here. And I've read Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind before. We've been studying it all practice period. And just before I came downstairs, I was reading a fascicle I haven't read for a while. And this is what Suzuki Roshi knew that I needed to know. This is the answer to my question. How do you live if you know you're going to die? I don't know why I never saw it that way until five minutes ago. And because my teacher, Richard Baker, always told me, speak about what's right in front of you, I have to share this fascicle of Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind with you. Now... And the reason I want to do it now and not at the end or not sometime later is because I think you need the support of Sesshin to work with what he has to say in this talk.

[10:19]

I think you need the support of all of us and you've already become somewhat settled in Sesshin. So this is a time to let this teaching sink in. This is not at all what I had planned to talk about. Well, maybe I'll talk about what I planned to talk about a little bit and then come back to this at the end. This is only two pages. One of the things that I wanted to talk about was a practice that Thich Nhat Hanh, the great Vietnamese teacher, has in his temple. Someone is responsible for periodically ringing the bell, just the sound of the bell. And at that time, everyone is supposed to stop and take a breath, listen to the bell, and then proceed.

[11:25]

He was the first teacher who really taught mindfulness here at San Francisco Zen Center. Richard Baker met him at a peace march in New York sometime in the late 70s, I think. And he came out and taught at Green Gulch. And it was the first teaching we had really had on mindfulness. And he was very strong on the teaching of mindfulness. And it's a fundamental teaching of the Buddha Dharma. there is a little verse that the bell ringer chants just before they ring the bell. Body, breath, and mind in perfect oneness. I send my heart with the sound of the bell. May all who hear be free from suffering and pain.

[12:26]

And people who hear the bell are supposed to stop and chant, listen, listen, or think. Listen, listen, that wonderful sound brings me back to my true self. And there is a bellmaster appointed every day for every, I don't remember how, at what intervals, but at periodic intervals throughout the day, just one ring of the bell, stop, listen, listen, that wonderful sound brings me back to my true self. Now you can use that as a mindfulness practice with any sound you hear. Instead of getting irritated when somebody two seats down is sniffling, You can say, listen, listen, that wonderful sound brings me back to my true self.

[13:39]

When somebody's car alarm goes off, you know, instead of saying, you know, whatever it is you say when a car alarm goes off. I hope the owner hears it and gets out there and turns it off. You just say, listen, listen. That wonderful sound brings me back to my true self. This practice is extremely simple. Our intention is to train our mind to be present with each activity, with each breath, with each sensation, with each thought. to train our mind to be where we are. Right here, right now, moment after moment.

[14:45]

If we are awake and alert to what we're doing, to what we're thinking, then we're not going to do and think harmful and stupid things because we'll notice it. And where are the precepts? Well, the precepts are right here in our body. We will notice, oh, I don't want to do that. That's going to make a lot of trouble. Or, I don't want to do that. That's really unkind. The precept will stop us if we're alert and awake to what we're doing or what we're thinking. If we're zoning out, then we have that situation that occurs, oh, I wish I hadn't said that. Oh, I wish I hadn't done that. Does that ever happen to you? That something is said or done out of your mouth or done with your hands before you had the awareness to stop it.

[15:57]

And it just took this long for you to realize you didn't want to say that or you didn't want to do that. So as we work with mindfulness practice, as we work with keeping our mind connected to our body and mouth, we'll have fewer of those times that we wish we hadn't said or done something. And... fewer times that we have to clean up the harm that's done by those words or actions. You know, one of the fundamental underlying principles of Buddhism is that actions have consequences. Actions of body, speech, or mind, speaking of the three actions, means actions of body, speech, or mind, have results. And you cannot choose the action without the result coming along with it.

[17:04]

We speak of karma as if it were the result. Actually, the meaning of the word karma is intentional action. So if we are paying attention to our intention, then we will be able to control those actions of body, speech, and mind that cause unfortunate results. So this is the great value of cultivating mindfulness. And breath is always the most common object of attention recommended to us because as long as we're alive, we will be breathing. If we stop breathing, we won't be alive very much longer. So it's always with us. We're never separate from it.

[18:08]

The other thing that Thich Nhat Hanh is very big on is smiling. And I went over to Japan to visit Rinsulin with a group of women. In 1992, I think we went first time. And one of the rules that... There was a young man there, an American, who had lived at the temple for quite a while when he was over in Japan studying martial arts and was very, very fond of Chitose-san, Huitzu Roshi's wife. And... he was our interpreter and she would tell him things we needed to know and one of the things she told him to tell us was when we went downtown we should always be smiling because everybody knew that these foreign women in town were all, I mean it's a small town, these women were nuns at the temple up there and so we should be smiling.

[19:11]

And I think He told us that because that was not always the case. Have you noticed that? We have something to learn about smiling around here. I don't know. Have you ever looked around the circle when we're standing in the work circle or we're standing in... Particularly, I notice it at breakfast in the morning. For those of you who are residents, you know... The food's not that bad. The food's actually pretty good. But we're all... So Thich Nhat Hanh said once to one of his students, if I come into the kitchen and ask you what you're doing, I'd much rather have you say smiling and breathing, Ty, than cutting carrots, Ty. The most immediate, the thing he would like to have his students doing all the time is being aware that they're breathing and being aware that they're smiling.

[20:16]

And in addition, they might be doing something else, like cutting carrots. But the breathing and smiling are sort of fundamental. So I think this business of whether or not Zen Center is welcoming to people who come to the door, a lot of that would be taken care of if all of us would work on smiling a little bit. And if you just try it when you're facing the wall, nobody's looking, you know. But notice, it affects how you feel. I mean, when I remember while I'm sitting zazen, to smile as I'm sitting zazen, it softens my whole face. It softens my jaw. If it's tight, it softens around my forehead and eyes. It softens my cheeks. I notice when Li Ping is giving us instruction in Qigong, when I go to a Qigong class,

[21:19]

She's always suggesting that we have a slight smile to soften our forehead and eyes. As just part of the routine, qigong. So it's not just us that need to be reminded to smile, but I think it's helpful to us. And it is just another mindfulness practice that we can use at any moment, wherever we are. So, anyhow, I was talking about being impressed by people that I admired and wanted to be like them, like Suzuki Roshi and Koban and Katagiri Roshi. and doing what they did because I wanted to be like them.

[22:21]

So this Zazen is the thing that they were all doing. And Dogen Zenji has impressed me in many ways, and he certainly was big on Zazen. And the reason I wanted us to be chanting Fukan Zazangi and Chiji Uzamaaya all week was because it just reminds us every day how enthusiastic Dogen Sanji and Suzuki Roshi were about Zazen and Katagiri Roshi. Katagiri Roshi gave me Zazen instruction when I first went to Sokochi And he said, we sit to settle the self on the self and let the flower of the life force bloom. And that stuck with me, so to let our life force bloom like a flower by settling on the self.

[23:31]

However, this self is not a something to hold on to. In The fascicle that includes Jiji Uzamai is called Bendo Wa, The Wholehearted Practice of the Way. And there's a great book, if you haven't read it, called The Wholehearted Way, which is Shohaku Okamura's translation of Bendo Wa together with his teacher, Uchiyama Gosho Roshi's commentary on Bendo Wa. And in addition to Jiji Uzama, I mean, it's just all about wholehearted practice, but included in it are a series of questions. And I want to share with you two of Dogen Zenji's responses to questions because it has to do with what I'm going to read from Zen Mind Beginner's Mind also.

[24:35]

It has to do with no self. So he says, understand that the Buddha Dharma consists above all in practice that strives to eliminate all views that distinguish self from other. I said one of the reasons that I didn't feel like talking so much was because I was feeling more and more connected to all of you as we sit together and breathe together. this separate self becomes diminished. And the larger self of the whole body of Sesshin is more apparent. And his response to question 17 is, it should be clearly understood that those of the past and present...

[25:38]

whose minds were enlightened by seeing things or hearing things. This question was about some of the famous stories about someone having a big awakening when they heard a rock hit bamboo, so hearing things, or when they saw a plum blossom open. So it should be clearly understood that those of the past and present whose minds were enlightened by seeing things or hearing things, all negotiated the way without any preconceptions whatever. For each of them, right at that instant, no other person existed. So it's just another big emphasis. on no self.

[26:39]

And now to share with you this section of Zen Man Beginner's Mind, what I was going to share is just this first paragraph, so I'll begin with that. The basic teaching of Buddhism is the teaching of transiency or change. that everything changes is the basic truth for each existence. No one can deny this truth and all the teaching of Buddhism is condensed within it. This is the teaching for all of us. Wherever we go, this teaching is true. This teaching is also understood as the teaching of selflessness. Because each existence is in constant change, there is no abiding self.

[27:41]

In fact, the self-nature of each existence is nothing but change itself, the self-nature of all existence. There is no special separate self-nature for each existence. This is also called the teaching of nirvana. when we realize the everlasting truth of everything changes and find our composure in it, we find ourselves in nirvana. Of course, that's the big catch, to find our composure in the teaching of everything changes. Suzuki Roshi goes on to say, without accepting the fact that everything changes, We cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it.

[28:46]

Because we cannot accept the truth of transiency, we suffer. So the cause of our suffering is our non-acceptance of this truth. The teaching of the cause of suffering and the teaching that everything changes are thus two sides of one coin. But subjectively, subjectively, transiency is the cause of our suffering. Objectively, this teaching is simply the basic truth that everything changes. Dogen Zenji said, Teaching which does not sound as if it is forcing something on you is not true teaching. Teaching which does not sound as if it is forcing something on you is not true teaching. The teaching itself is true and in itself does not force anything upon us.

[29:57]

But because of our human tendency, we receive the teaching as if something was being forced on us. But whether we feel good or bad about it, this truth exists. If nothing exists, this truth does not exist. Buddhism exists because of each particular existence. We should find perfect existence through imperfect existence. We should find perfection in imperfection. For us, complete perfection is not different from imperfection. The eternal exists because of non-eternal existence. In Buddhism, it is a heretical view to expect something outside this world. We do not seek for something besides ourselves. We should find the truth in this world through our difficulties, through our suffering.

[31:05]

This is the basic teaching of Buddhism. Pleasure is not different from difficulty. Good is not different from bad. Bad is good, good is bad. There are two sides of one coin. So enlightenment should be in practice. That is the right understanding of practice and the right understanding of our life. So to find pleasure in suffering is the only way to accept the truth of transparency. Without realizing how to accept this truth, you cannot live in this world. Even though you try to escape from it, your effort will be in vain. If you think there is some other way to accept the eternal truth that everything changes, that is your delusion. This is the basic teaching of how to live in this world. Whatever you may feel about it, you have to accept it.

[32:10]

You have to make this kind of effort. So until we become strong enough to accept difficulty as pleasure, we have to continue this effort. Actually, if you become honest enough or straightforward enough, it is not so difficult to accept this truth. You can change your way of thinking a little bit. It is difficult, but this difficulty will not always be the same. Sometimes it will be difficult, and sometimes it will not be so difficult. If you are suffering, you will have some pleasure in the teaching that everything changes. When you're in trouble, it is quite easy to accept the teaching. So why not accept it at other times? It is the same thing. Sometimes you may laugh at yourself, discovering how selfish you are. But no matter how you feel about this teaching, it is very important for you to change your way of thinking

[33:18]

and accept the truth of transiency. So I'm sorry if you lay that on you. But as I read it today, I thought, that's what I meant when I said, when I saw Suzuki Roshi, he knows what I need to know about how to live if you know you're going to die. You have to live with acceptance of the fact that everything changes, and so does this very body and mind. And when you can accept that fact, then your life will be much easier. You won't be terrified of the fact that this life is limited. As a matter of fact, at some point, when he was near dying, he said, If you had an unlimited body, it would be a big problem for you.

[34:22]

If you had a body that had an unlimited life, it would be a big problem. We don't maybe see it that way at this moment, but it would be. So, this is the reason that we need to sit sashim. This is the reason we need to settle ourself on ourself and let our life force bloom as it is right now, moment after moment. We don't want to waste this precious human life. Remember, this is the vow that I introduced to you the first day. Dalai Lama's vow.

[35:26]

Every day, think as you wake up. Today, I am fortunate to have woken up. I'm alive. I have a precious human life. I'm not going to waste it. I'm going to use all my energy to develop myself to expand my heart out to others for the benefit of all being. This time that we have together, this time that each one of us has in this life, let us use this time to develop ourselves, to enlarge our heart, to include everyone in our circle of love and care, including ourselves, of course. Thank you.

[36:30]

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