Good morning. I love that chant so much. It's my favorite chant. I'm so happy that we're chanting it before lecture during Sashim. So I want to thank Blanche and Jordan for inviting me to speak today and also for encouraging me to participate in the Sashin as much as I can around my work schedule. So I really appreciate your flexibility. It will be good for me to have this opportunity to do a Sashin. Thank you. And I hope I can return the favor by finding something encouraging to say today, to encourage me and all of us. So today is day two of Sushin. And I know that sometimes people are having a hard time on the second day of Sushin.

[01:34]

You're a little tired, and maybe your legs hurt, and you haven't quite settled into... the ability to take care of that in a way that quite fully helps you. So day two is a little hard sometimes. And I still remember, actually, the beginning of the morning of my own second day of my first machine. I know that for some of you, this is your first machine. How many? Good number. Anyway, I was the door watch that morning, and I was pretty discouraged and tired and wondering how I was going to get myself into that pretzel position again. And so I was the door watch, and so that meant I was sitting out in the gaitan.

[02:38]

And at that time, Reb Anderson was the tanto, and I was pretty interested in having him think well of me. So he did the morning jundo, you know, and he came out to the gaitan. And I knew the jig was up, that I had to. I was tempted out there to sit there with my knees up to my chin, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to do that. So I understand. But I also want to say that... The second day of a Sashin is a really important day. It's a day when you can learn a lot. In fact, it could turn out to be one of the most important days of your life for that reason. There's a lot to experience and learn on the second day of Sashin.

[03:38]

So I really encourage you to stick with it. And give it your best effort and be present for your experience today. And I also want to say, you've probably heard this from other people, it's a pretty commonly known fact that it doesn't just keep getting worse. I've never heard anybody say that it just kept getting worse. So I wish you well. So you've made this commitment to sit for seven days with the intention of deepening your practice. And this is exactly what Dogen Zenji said we should do. He said, cast aside all involvements and cease all affairs. Do not think good or bad.

[04:41]

Do not administer pros and cons. Cease all the movements of the conscious mind, the gauging of all thoughts and views. So this is our practice for the next seven days. And often we advise people, especially at the beginning of their meditation careers, to focus on their breathing. And either by counting the breath from 1 to 10 or by following the breath as it comes in and out of your nostrils or being aware of the rise and fall of your belly. I particularly like that because it really grounds you, and I also find that my chanting voice is better in the morning after I've been really paying attention to my breath and my belly. So we use the breath as a focus for a couple of reasons, I think, that are important.

[05:46]

The most obvious is that we always have it with us. And another reason is that our breathing is sort of in between what we do ourselves and what does itself. So we can let our breathing breathe itself. And since we're here to drop body and mind, anything we can do to sort of soften the edges of the body and mind and the doer and the done is helpful, I think, in our meditation practice. So I think these are the reasons why focusing on our breath is such a good practice. And I want to say something about the word practice. We do religious practices here. We practice Zazam.

[06:47]

And we use that word a lot. And for many years, I must confess that I found it pretty annoying. It seemed like a cult word to me. Practice, practice, practice. And it just wasn't... something I was very familiar with talking about before I came to Zen Center. But I've gotten to like the word a lot, and I also like it in its other meaning, in the meaning of practice like you would practice a piano piece or a dance routine, where you practice in the hope that you will, dare I say, improve. or have a more nuanced experience of something. So as we do Zazen every day, and especially during Sashin, we gain some momentum, and we strengthen the muscle of mindfulness, and we strengthen our concentration, and we develop...

[08:01]

more familiarity with the terrain of meditation and our life and the process. And really those two things are the same, our life and the process. Our life is a process. So even if we don't have the goal of improving, I think that's just something that naturally occurs. as we continue our study practice. Dogen Zenji confirms this. He says, going forward in practice is a matter of everydayness. And so he's pointing out that doing zazen every day is really helpful. And he's also acknowledging that there is such a thing as going forward in practice. So we don't come here to improve ourselves necessarily, but some improvement just naturally occurs.

[09:10]

However, Dogen is constantly warning us to have no designs on becoming a Buddha. He says that Suning Zazen is not... We don't sit zazen to attain enlightenment. We sit zazen to express the enlightenment that we already have. And that sitting zazen is the activity of a Buddha. And we do it because we're Buddhas, because we have Buddha nature that we want to express. And Suzuki Roshi said something very similar. He said, You're perfect just as you are, but you could use a little improvement. And I think we all readily believe the second half that we could use a little improvement or a lot of improvement, but I think it's really hard for us to believe that we're perfect just as we are.

[10:13]

I've never heard anybody who said that they believed that right off the bat when they heard it. So... I think that people, when they arrive on the doorstep of Zen Center, have some kind of transformation in mind. They are suffering and want to change something about their lives. And the fact that they come to Zen Center rather than somewhere else, I think, is an inkling that they have some intuition that Improving one's life is not about improving the circumstances of your life. It's about changing your mind and your habits and your behaviors and in a profound way. And that's the kind of transformation that we hope for when we practice, I believe.

[11:14]

So we still arrive. with some kind of gaining idea. And everybody probably has a different idea. For example, you might come to practice because you feel like you don't have enough friends, and you'd like to have more friends. You'd like to be a more outgoing person. And so you practice for years and years, and hopefully you forget all about that original intention. Years later, you may notice that you're actually more introverted or you're more comfortable with the fact that you're an introvert. So it's really unpredictable what will happen to us. And Mel Weissman once said that we shouldn't undelude anyone too soon. that these hopes that we come to Zen Center with are Dharma gates.

[12:19]

And if they bring us to practice, that's good. That's good enough. So Dogen Zenji called Zazen the Dharma gate of repose and bliss. I had a hard time believing that when I first heard it. And maybe I heard it in the context of some early sushin. But I bet that you would go for some repose and bliss right now. And that that might sound pretty good. He also said that Zazen was the comfortable way. And I didn't understand that either. But I think there are two ways that we can understand that. One is that the Zazen posture... The posture that you develop as a stable sitting posture that you can use to sit still for a long time is a comfortable posture.

[13:20]

And you should develop your posture so that it is comfortable. It might seem at moments during Sushi like it would be a great relief to sit in a chair and lean against the back and cross your legs like you would in a meeting. But I think if you sit that way for a while, you'll find that pretty soon you're crossing and uncrossing your legs and shifting around and just doing what we naturally do, which is to move. So the Zazen posture is particularly good for giving us a stable, steady, immobile posture. But I think what he really meant by that in a deeper way was that we develop the ability to be comfortable with who we are in all circumstances. And that's a deep practice and a difficult practice and a lifetime practice.

[14:27]

So I think that's really what we're here for. To accept yourself completely in all situations is a rare thing. I enjoy Zazen much more than I used to as a rest. I remember early in my time at Zen Center, Leslie James, who was president at that time and working very hard, said, it's such a relief to come to Zazen. And I kind of didn't get it, but now I do understand that it's a real relief. to be able to sit down and do nothing and not have to be anything in particular, not to have to work on yourself. Even if you're putting effort into your zazen, which we do, you still don't have to try to be something that you aren't. You have the opportunity to just manifest exactly who you are and experience that and see who that person is, see who that is.

[15:39]

Michael Wenger, one time during Sachin, people were having a lot of trouble, and he said, this is the easy way. And he didn't say any more than that, but to give it some context, Michael has Parkinson's disease, which I think is a disease that nobody wants to get. And at the time, he was also taking care of his mother, who had Alzheimer's. So the point I took from that is that life can hand out some things to us that are a lot more difficult than pain in our knees. And this is the easy way to learn how to deal with those things. And our teachers say these things to us because they know that we have trouble. They know that... having a steady daily Zazen practice and sitting Sushin's is difficult.

[16:43]

So one of the big difficulties in Sushin and in our lives is impermanence. And another word for impermanence is time. So during the practice period tea the other night, a student raised his hand and said, how many periods of Zazen will there be? And I sincerely hope I'm not embarrassing that student because it was a great question. We all chuckled a little bit because it's the universal question. It's the question we all have. So there's this event coming up. How is it going to be for me? What's my experience going to be? Will it be okay? Every one of us has all those questions, and as soon as Eno puts the schedule out in the lobby, everybody crowds around and looks at it with great interest.

[17:57]

So we have... these next seven days to sit. And that probably seems like a long time. Dogen Zenji said that we are not separate from time. We are time. Our life is time. And all the time in the world is our time. And our time, your time, my time, is all the time that there is in the world. Kateguri Roshi said that all beings in the universe appear and disappear in a moment, in each moment. And he cited some definitions of a moment, which were inconceivably clear. tiny fractions of a second.

[19:01]

So, so, so what? I personally, and he said that the moment, each new moment is fresh and new, that moments don't carry over from the past, that each moment appears. It's a new moment, a new set of circumstances, a new universe, a new you, a new you. other, a new everything. And I find that very encouraging in the context, say, of Sashin, because it means that I'm fresh every moment, whether I've been sitting for seven days or one hour. I am fresh. New circumstances are always coming together, and I never know what will happen. You know, we think that we know what's going to happen. We have the idea that we will be here on Saturday for the Shuso ceremony and for Buddha's enlightenment. And we have the idea that we'll have lunch today.

[20:07]

And all of those things will probably happen. We can't say for sure. There could be an earthquake or something like that. But it's likely that we have some idea for the next few days what we'll be doing. But we have no idea. what we'll be experiencing. We don't know, you don't know, how you'll feel 10 seconds from now, or what you'll be thinking about. We just have no idea what our experience will be, even a short time from now. And I find that encouraging in the context of Zazen because I think a lot of the difficulty that I've had with Sashin is about fear. And fear is rooted in the future. So if you're able to just stay in the present moment and experience this moment, not having any idea what the next moment is going to bring, it's a great relief.

[21:15]

and a comfort. So the seven days that we have is not something to survive or accomplish or finish. These seven days are not separate from us. And you can't run away from time or kill time or use time up or buy time. And wishing time would pass more quickly is wishing away your life. So sometimes we're given the instruction to practice as if it were your last moment. And I think that's a good practice. If we can do that practice, we will really want to be present for that moment.

[22:22]

So I make that suggestion. So we have the same kinds of difficulties, really, in Sashin and in life. Sashin is kind of a dry run for life. I have this wonderful set of CDs by Pema Chodron. that's about working with negative or working with afflictive emotions. So the afflictive emotions are like hatred, anger, jealousy, that kind of thing. And the set of CDs is about the patient's chapter of the Bodhisattva's way of life. So it's Shanta Diva's instruction. for developing patience with the difficulties of our lives. It's a wonderful thing. And she gives the advice to practice with small irritations.

[23:24]

And she gives the example of a traffic jam. And I see being caught in a traffic jam and being in a sushine as having some of the same difficulties and opportunities. So she said that what she would do when she was really stuck in a traffic jam is sidle up in her car to the car next to her and look in and see some woman there maybe and start imagining what her life might be like. And she'd send her some loving kindness. And then she'd sort of keep track of her own car and that woman's car and see who did the best, you know, in their respective lanes and kind of keep track of her well-being and continue to send her loving kindness. So she would amuse herself in that way, you might say. And I think that's good because in all of these circumstances, it's our mental state.

[24:30]

that's going to have something meaningful to do with our experience. It's not the circumstances. It's what we do with them. And the same thing is true for Sachin. You can cultivate positive mental states this week, and that will be of enormous benefit to you and others. So where am I? So I just want to say that I think everything is going to be OK. But having said that, you have to take care of your physicality. And sometimes people come to Sushin with injuries or difficulties. I don't think anybody should just tough it out. If you're having physical difficulties, talk to one of your teachers. figure out how you can participate in this machine in a way that's beneficial for you.

[25:37]

It's not intended to be injurious. So please take care of yourselves. I want to say something about practicing with forms because we have so many of them. I'm going to see how I'm doing on time. I think the forms that we have around Zen practice are really wonderful. And Sushin has more forms than we usually have when we practice. The first one, of course, is the schedule. So the schedule is here to support you. And I urge you to follow it without thinking. When the bell rings, go to the Zendo.

[26:38]

When the wake-up bell rings, get up. You will spare yourself so much mental torment if you don't think about the schedule or don't think about ways to manipulate the schedule, but just do it. Just go to the Zendo. Be on time so that you arrive. cool as a cucumber, in a good state of mind, and you can enjoy your meditation without any distress. The posture is another form. So sitting in an upright posture helps us to believe that we are Buddha. We're taking Buddha's posture and doing Buddha's activity. So pay attention to Buddha's posture. When I get tired, the first thing I want to do is let go of my mudra. I think, oh, it would be so much more relaxing to just sit like this.

[27:40]

But I want to say some positive things about the cosmic mudra. If you have a well-formed mudra and it's in the right place, which means your thumb tips are about an inch below your navel, it puts the whole upper half of your body in exactly the right place. Your head is straight, your shoulders are relaxed and back and down, your back is straight, and you can sit comfortably that way for a long time. So I encourage I recommend putting energy and attention into your mudra. We use oryoki a lot during sushin. And when you're carrying your bowls on the way to the zendo, you carry them at chest height. And then when you step across the threshold, you carry them at eye level. So you're literally elevating them.

[28:42]

And when we eat with our bowls, we mostly pick things up with two hands and use our utensils with two hands. So these things are a way of paying a little extra attention, giving extra care and respect to our bowls. And when we... So we basically... take this mundane bowl and these mundane utensils and make them into Buddha's bowl. So when we eat with them, we are Buddha eating out of Buddha's bowls. So we take something that's mundane and make it sacred. And when we do that with the things in our life, we do it with our lives. So our lives become sacred. And that's... one of the most profound things that can happen to us during Sushin. If we can see the sacredness of our life and our Buddha nature, that will be very fruitful.

[29:48]

Kobinchino Roshi was a teacher who, when he was young, was invited by Suzuki Roshi to come from Japan to help him get Zen Center started. And he was an expert archer. And in his later years, he had a reputation for being a person who just didn't always do exactly what you expected him to do. And one time he was at Esalen with his teacher, and he had been invited to demonstrate Zen archery. And the Esalen people set up a big target overlooking the ocean. Very beautiful. And when it came time for Kobanchino Roshi to demonstrate, he set the arrow with great care and meticulously followed all the forms, I don't know what they are, to be able to shoot his arrow.

[31:05]

and did it very carefully and mindfully. And then he let fly the arrow, and it went way high over the target and into the ocean. And everyone looked dismayed until he shouted, Bullseye! And I think that says something about our relationship to our forms. It's in the doing. They are beautiful forms. And the people who experience them, not as doers, but as participants, will enjoy them. And they do have a wonderful effect on the atmosphere of our practice place. But they're wonderful for the doer. So as you enact these forms, think of that. Think of yourself as a Buddha enacting the forms.

[32:08]

And it isn't about the result. It isn't about whether it's perfect or not. It's a lot about the state of mind with which you do something. So I also want to talk about bowing during morning service. So we have all these. Buddhas here you know our beautiful Gandhara Buddha and the others and we chant during service and we invite into the room Buddha and Bodhidharma and Avalokiteshvara and Mahapajabadi and Dogen and Suzuki Roshi have I forgotten anyone well and then of course we chant the ancestors and invite them all And then we do our bows, and we are a room full of Buddhas bowing together with all the Buddhas of all time.

[33:15]

And I just really, when I was Eno, I did my bow standing there. So every morning I would bow looking at that beautiful Tara statue, and it was really moving for me. So I think these forms are all about helping us to feel and understand and know deeply our Buddha nature, to know that we are Buddha. When we did the chant before lecture, it says, Buddhas of old, where is it? Buddhas and ancestors of old, whereas we, we in the future shall be Buddhas and ancestors. So I like to have this reminder.

[34:17]

That's one of my favorite lines in this chant as a reminder that that's who we are and that's what we were doing. It isn't like in Dogen's era, people did things right and we're just Americans bumbling along and we're not really doing it. This is the real thing. And we're joining the lineage of ancestors. So I want to close with a koan. And I know it's a little late to introduce a new koan into a lecture, but I'm not going to touch on it very deeply. It just says something that I want to say. This is a wonderful book, Just Sitting, edited by John Dido Laurie. Dido Laurie died recently, and maybe some of you participated in the bell ringing ceremony when we rang 108 bells right after he died.

[35:21]

So this is... a koan from Master Dogen's 300 Koan Shobo Genzo collection, Yaoshan's non-thinking. And this is the main case. When Yaoshan was sitting in meditation, a monk asked, What do you think about sitting in steadfast composure? Yaoshan said, I think not thinking. The monk said, How do you think not thinking? Yaoshan said, non-thinking. And this is the commentary that Daito Roshi wrote. Abide in neither thinking nor not thinking. Thinking is linear and sequential, a separation from the reality that is the subject of thought, and thus an abstraction rather than the reality itself. Not-thinking is suppressive.

[36:26]

It cuts away thoughts the moment they arise, making the mind into a great impenetrable mountain, dead, unresponsive. Non-thinking has no such edges. It is the boundless mind of samadhi that neither holds onto nor lets go of thoughts. It is the manifestation of the Buddha mind in which the dualism of self and other, thinking and not thinking, dissolves. This is the Dharma of Thessness that is the right thought of all Buddhas in the Ten Directions. And I want to read the paragraph at the close of his essay about this. Please take up this practice of zazen. You don't need any special props to do it.

[37:31]

You don't need complex instructions or monasteries and teachers. You just need a quiet corner to settle your body, settle your mind, and taste your breath. Then just let the breath breathe itself. Think of non-thinking. This is the Dharma of Thessness that is the right thought of all the Buddhas in the Ten Directions. It is Shakyamuni's realization at the moment of his enlightenment. All sentient beings are perfect and complete, lacking nothing. You are perfect and complete, lacking nothing. Trust that. Trust the process of Zazen. If you were to live for 100,000 years, you would never find in this life anything more powerful, more healing, more empowering than the simple practice of Zazen.

[38:43]

Please don't take it lightly. It's an incredible gift. So I would like to thank you for the gift of your attention this morning and wish you a fruitful sushi.

[39:01]

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