Good evening. Good evening. The thought occurred to me as we were chanting to mention that as we chant, to try to chant each line with a single breath, it requires some more attention, in some ways maybe some more effort, some more conscious engagement with breathing. This kind of involvement in what we're doing is very much part of the heritage of Zen. We add a particularity to the many details of our daily life.

[01:08]

Not to drive ourselves crazy or to find all sorts of ways to succeed and fail, but more ways to initiate conscious involvement. The theme of the practice period is sila, samadhi, paña. Sila, the conduct that expresses and enables being awake. And so right there, the sila of our chanting is expressed through the intention of chanting the whole line with one breath. Not to say, if you don't, you're filled. It's about being aware It's not about success or failure. So this is one way we can come at sila, is to relate to the particular that we're involved with in the moment in an intentional way.

[02:23]

We can also add particulars to our life. Okay, when I step over the threshold, I'll step over... with the foot that's closest to the edge of the door. Or we can add, okay, before the talk we will have a chant, we will chant something together, and after the talk we'll chant something together, or bow together. All these as expressions of sila, in the service of awakening. This is the heritage of the Zen school. And then how to take those agreed upon strategies and in the doing of them discover something about the essence.

[03:30]

discover something about waking up, something about the process of sila and how it can permeate whatever we do. The same way we can be aware when we enter the door of the zendo, we can be aware when we enter any door. The same way we can be aware of the activity of entering a door we can be aware of the activity of sitting at a table, standing up from a table. And then there's a variety of ways in which we can enable this process. And that's what I'd like to talk about this evening. But before I do that, I'd like to offer you a few little... experiential exercises.

[04:33]

I think for those of us who got up at 2.30 or 5 o'clock, 4.30, I hope not too many get up at 2.30, unless you have a lot of energy. And gone through a busy day, it's hard to transition to the quiet steadiness of that attunes the mind to the subtler activities of the Dharma. So maybe if you could start by closing your eyes and notice your body. Notice your posture. with that eye of awareness, noticing the body, noticing the posture, attuning the body to uprightness, attuning the body to a sense of ease, reminding yourself of what you know about the details of that.

[06:01]

Finding the position of the hips, the lower back, the chest, the shoulders. Letting the muscles of the face relax. Inviting the breath in. just noticing a state of mind. And if you find yourself becoming dharazi, respond to that. What would help? What helps the process of noticing?

[07:13]

Deliberately noticing signs. Deliberately attuning awareness to sound. Receptive to sound. something a little different. If you could place your hand, your right hand, palm down, somewhere on your thigh, and then intend to lift your hand.

[08:41]

Don't lift your hand. Intend to lift your hand and go right to the edge of lifting your hand. Notice the activation of getting ready to lift it. How that influences the muscles. How that engages attention and awareness. and release that intention. Let the hand, the arm be fully at rest. Okay, that's it. You can open your eyes again. So something about how intention

[09:45]

stimulates engagement and stimulates experiencing. And there's something about intention that influences attention. And there's something about intention that stimulates energy. I don't know how that experience was for you, but I would say and maybe this is what you noticed, that if your mind is still very active from your day or from your life, it's not so easy to notice. It's not too easy to notice these subtler details of what's happening for you. If you intend to move your hand and then get swept away by thought, the subtle influence of that intention sort of disappears.

[10:52]

And so our intention can be swept away in a variety of ways. We're right there. Even in our sincerity, it doesn't... intention to do what it is we've set our intention towards, the influence of our state of mind, the influence of the preoccupations emotionally, physically, mentally. When our body is very tired, it's hard to bring that astute awareness. When we are very preoccupied, with something that's troubling us. It's hard to sustain attention on such a simple activity. So, something about cultivating sila touches on the different aspects of our being.

[12:12]

it starts to bring us into a more attentive awareness about how to stay with what we intend. It starts to make us more aware of our body. As I try to do what I intend, my body interrupts if it's very tired. It just starts to release Usually during our day, we are activated, we're energized by the stimulus of being involved in the day. Then in the evening, when we release that stimulus, it's not unusual that we become dry. So our body affects it. As we get involved in our day, our level of mental activity becomes heightened, increased.

[13:28]

Our emotional and psychological involvement are increased, usually. And then when we come to Zazen and we try to engage... a more refined way of relating to our consciousness, we notice. We notice these interruptions. The challenge of Zazen, the challenge of awareness, is to not struggle with them, but to notice them. Maybe the paradox is that the wholehearted intention makes more evident what interrupts. And the learning is to notice what interrupts and let it show you what's going on and teach you how to practice.

[14:32]

How do you practice with this kind of body? How do you practice with this state, mental state? How do you practice with this emotional state? So our intention initiates being aware of our conditioned existence. If you walk down the hallway and say, I'm going to walk from here to the dining room and just be totally aware of my body and nothing else, then you notice... all the things that you're aware of as you walk from here to the back. And the art of awareness is not to struggle with that. To be diligent but not rigid. It takes some getting used to.

[15:37]

Usually like you would tend something because there's a result you want to have happened. And if you don't have it happen, something hasn't gone right. You need to intend more thoroughly. You need to assert, exert more fully. So to hold this in our minds, This attitude of intention initiates experience. Intention initiates experience. An experience offers itself up as an instruction and a teaching. This is...

[16:41]

a significant attribute of our practice. And a significant aspect of sila, the conduct that supports awakening and expresses awakening, is to start with intention. Sometimes it can be a self-directed intention, and sometimes it can be the intention of an organized discipline we've taken on. You intend to do a one-day sitting. And then maybe halfway through it, you really wish you weren't there. You've had this deep realization that Zen is not for you. Or you just have this deep conviction that on such a beautiful... Sunny day, rainy day, cold day, warm day.

[17:44]

This is not the best use of your time. But the structure stimulates the core intention of doing what you're doing. And so you get to watch your attitude. You get to watch the thoughts, the judgments. You get to watch the accompanying emotions. You get to watch how your body behaves when you really don't want to be there. And then you get to watch those moments when you do become concentrated. And the beautiful thing about concentration, when there is concentration, when there is an alignment with the awareness of the moment, It stimulates the energy flow. And stimulating the energy flow is a pleasant experience.

[18:51]

And often, when we have those moments of concentration and the accompanying pleasantness that they produce, we feel motivated. We finally, I'm doing it right. This is it. This Zen stuff is really good. I feel energized. I feel focused. My mind's a little clearer. But the dictate still applies. Whether what happens is being judged as failure, or what happens is being judged as success. The dictate still applies. Intention initiates experience. Experience is what we're aware of. So when we started the practice period, we talked about, what's your intention for the practice period?

[20:03]

Our intention arises out of our karmic life. It arises out of our sincerity to practice. It arises out of our own understanding of what's important about practice. It arises out of our life experience. I would like to suffer less, and as a consequence, my intention is to do this. Or whatever else motivates us. And in a strange way, it doesn't matter so much how your intention expresses itself, as long as, as you engage your intention, you pay attention to the consequences. As you actualize your intention, what happens will teach you. So in some ways we could say, each of us follows our own unique path, each of us discovers the Dharma, and each of us discovers what it is to walk the path of the Dharma.

[21:25]

And then interwoven to that is the heritage of Zen practice. The prescription. Okay, when we come into the Dharma hall, here's what we're going to do. we're gonna bow, we're gonna sit down, we're gonna chant this, then we're all gonna sit there, listen to this person ramble on, and then when it's over, we'll chant some more and we'll get up. The notion is that these prescribed activities bring us back to an expression of awareness. They bring us back to our collective intention and our individual intention. So here's what I'm getting at. The notion of returning to your intention. In the last Saturday, was it last Saturday?

[22:33]

Yeah. I read a poem called Even Now I Remember. something about remembering our intention. Even now, as my mind's not so clear, even now, as I feel coy up in the stressors of my day, even now, when I'm in the middle of this activity, our intention stay close. Part of the significance of this is that that in itself becomes an awareness practice. For most of us, the intention we create speaks of our practice life.

[23:44]

So as we keep returning to it, we keep returning to the sensibilities and values and sincerity of our practice. In the Native American tradition, there's a question. The question says, there's a two-headed beast. This head is vicious and selfish. This head... is generous and kind, which one will grow? The one you feed the most. So the more we feed our intention, the more we come back to this expression of our nobility, of our sincerity, the more it's enlivened, the more potent it is in the middle of our life. So I'd like to suggest to you thinking of one aspect of sila as bringing forth intention.

[24:57]

And then I would caution you and say, if your intention becomes closely linked to success and failure, it will become burdensome. It will become unpleasant. Oh, yeah, I've got to do my intention. Later. Right now, I need a break. How can our intention have this quality of an enlivening involvement in our life? How can it have a sense of spaciousness, a sense of adventure? I walk from here to the dining room in staying aware of my body. I wonder what the first distraction will be. Will it be, what's for dinner?

[26:05]

Will it be, I don't know. So, part of the art of practice, part of the challenge of sustaining our intention, is that it really asks us to be wholehearted, and it asks us to be lighthearted. It's a curious combination, but really that's what's being asked of us. Can you walk from here to the dining room wholeheartedly being in your body and curious about how it's going to go? Can you, if your intention is, okay, today I'll meet each person fully, can you take that up wholeheartedly and then watch with curiosity?

[27:11]

What is it that inclines me to not make eye contact? What is it that inclines me to close down to someone? What is it that inclines me to open to someone? So this quality in the yoga of attention, engagement, and energy. It's like, can the engagement be pure? You're not engaging to manufacture a certain result. You're engaging with the suchness of the moment of which you're part. I don't want to make eye contact with this person. I'm afraid. I'm afraid to look them in the eye.

[28:18]

Okay, that's what's happening. How amazing. That's what I said, Keith. How amazing. Because of the tone of the voice with which they said, what are you doing here? And the discipline of not... Sneaking in success and failure. The discipline of being willing to go beyond the world according to me. Why am I afraid? Because something about the world according to me is being challenged. And maybe I won't be okay if it's challenged. So directly experiencing the moment is a challenge.

[29:30]

In a way, it's an invitation and a challenge to go beyond what I say the world is, what I say this person is. They spoke with that tone of voice, and I have categorized them now. And I'm acting on my description, my definition of them. But not even to say, you know, that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's justified. Or it's absurd. It's just how it is. a little bit more suddenly, as we can experience it, the energy flows.

[30:35]

As we struggle with it, the energy gets stuck. This is why we build into our formal practice simple activities. Sweeping the sidewalk is not so scary for most of us. It's a wonderful opportunity to wholeheartedly engage activity. It's a wonderful opportunity to explore the yoga of wholehearted attention to body, to breath, to mindfulness of the moment. And these simple moments of awareness, they teach us something about the fundamentals and then the challenges, how do we take that to the complex moments?

[31:49]

How do we take that to when we're having a challenging interaction with someone. And it matters. It's your boss. It's the person who works for you. It's your partner. How do we take the fundamental teaching of awareness, of being in the moment, of being present for what's happening and not pushing it away and not grasping it, How do we take that and use the same fundamentals, engage the same fundamentals in a complex experience? Noticing the thoughts, noticing the feelings, noticing how they register in the body, noticing the difference between staying open to what's arising and experiencing it and shrinking back into a more reactive mode.

[32:53]

noticing how when you go into reactive mode, habit energy sweeps in. And habit energy just charges in its patterned way of responding. There's a kind of a disconnect from what's going on in the habit energy. The world, according to me, takes over. So we sit zazen to watch this as closely and exactly as we can. And we create the structure of body and breath and attention to the moment to enable that watching. And then we get up and we carry it into the complexity of our life. What reminds you to do that?

[34:04]

Nobody can answer that question for you. What reminds you to enter your life intentionally, consciously, with the nobility of your sincerity? What reminds you to not just fall back into habit mode and let that be infused with the energy of your life and swept along in a strange, energized, but not so aware state? And cannot remembering be done with a delicate touch. a touch that has sincerity and kindness, that has openness and not rigidity, that's wholehearted and lighthearted.

[35:15]

It's a challenge. These qualities come forth through our consistent effort. That's how they come forth. We learn patience by being honest about how unrelenting our habits are. We learn how to loosen up by noticing all the ways we tighten up. So in some ways, this is the inner workings of sila.

[36:18]

And we learn how to do it by doing it. And as we open up and acknowledge what happens, it will refine our effort. your effort is too vague and loose you'll notice that your attention your awareness is not so clear if it gets hooked to self-criticism and striving for certain results you'll notice the effects of that you'll notice your reluctance to return to your practice Because it's onerous. It's unpleasant. You've already got enough unpleasantness in your life. Who needs more? If it becomes too ideal, I am going to open my heart and flood everyone I meet with compassion.

[37:37]

Well, then you're just going to fail time after time. if you get too attached to the result. So our effort, our engagement, refines our intention. That is a beautiful ideal, but it needs to be held lightly. It's a beautiful guidance. And it will show me the nature of my conditioned life. If we can have this kind of attitude, then this blend of wholeheartedness and lightheartedness starts to become a little bit more evident what that would look like, what that feels like. It will start to stimulate the diligence, the discipline.

[38:48]

The discipline will not feel so onerous. We are working with habit energy. That's what it is to be alive. We have a conditioned existence. We have built up patterns of how we relate to our body, how we relate to our thought process, how we relate to our emotions. That's how it is. To initiate a process that illuminates that, that lets it become the teacher. that shows us how to engage it with kindness, non-judgment, and how to cultivate an accepting response to what arises.

[39:56]

So, I'm going to end I want to read this poem again. Even now, I remember. Even now, as my mind's not so clear. Even now, as I'm in the middle of intense activity. Even now... as I don't feel so inspired about practice, even now. Whatever. Not to think, okay, when the conditions are nice, when the conditions are appropriate, then I'll return to my intention. Can you return to your intention? Whatever the situation. Even now, I remember something.

[41:08]

The way a flower in a jar of water remembers its life in the perfect garden. The miracle of being alive. The way a flower in a jar of water remembers its life as a closed seed. Where do you come from? The way a flower in a jar of water steadies itself, remembers itself. This is where you are. This is where your life is. Your life's not anywhere else. You're not anywhere else. You're here, completely. Long ago, its plunging roots, the gravel, the rain, the mossy stem, the wings of the leaves, the swords of the leaves, the particulars of here, the signs, the smells, the physical sensations, the thoughts in your mind, the rising, the clashing, for the rose of the sun, the salt of the stars, the crown of the wind, the beds of the clouds,

[42:37]

The blue dream. It's all a play of energy. The breath flowing in and out of your body. How consciousness, how attention stimulates and brings something to life. This energy play flowing through us. that we participate in creating something called now that continues and continues to flow into the next thing. Rising and clashing for the rose of the sun, the salt of the stars, the crown of the wind, the beds of the clouds, the blue dream. the unbreakable circle.

[43:41]

Okay, thank you.

[43:51]

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