This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. So sitting in Zazen posture. In the Zen tradition, we sit for the Dharma talk, we sit in Zazen posture. So no matter how terrible the Dharma talk is, still, we were in Zazen posture during it. But also, the co-creation of each moment, you know, at the start of the Genjo koan, it starts when all things are Buddhadharma.

[01:04]

Actually, it says, when all things are met or experienced or seen as Buddhadharma. But this meeting, this experiencing, is a co-creation. One simple way to think about it is we supply... The adjectives. It's a beautiful day. It's a terrible day. The particulars arise and we have our say about it. So the words come forth. The ideas come forth. The opinions come forth. And... with a certain mind, blah, blah, blah. Heard that one before. Oh yeah, you always say that.

[02:08]

Oh, Jack Kornfield said it better when he said it like this. Maybe it's all true. But when there's a settledness, when there's a presence, when there's an availability, something extraordinary, like an arrow coming from a bow, like a flower blossoming, like a hummingbird hovering still with the wings beating furiously. Somehow there's a preciousness like a hammer striking the bell of emptiness. Something resonates, reverberates.

[03:10]

Each action, each description, each situation has its own extraordinariness. You know, we can hear the kokyo start the chant and think, oh, look at them rushing the first line like that. Or we can hear the kokyo start the chant and hear the depth of their sincere, wholehearted effort. The first hearing, here's something flawed, inadequate. The second is something beyond comparison. Perfect. Something that not only touches and nourishes our heart, but instructs our practice.

[04:20]

So we chant at the start, an unsurpassed penetrating and perfect dharma. well. This, when all things are Buddha Dharma, this mind, heart, that meets it with presence, experiences as such. And it so happens, I have a poem like this, by William Butler Yeats, We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us that they may see, it may be, their own images. And so, live in a moment with a clearer, perhaps even fiercer life because of the quiet.

[05:35]

We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us that they may see, it may be, their own images. And so live in a moment with a clearer, perhaps even fiercer life because of the quiet. when all things are Buddha Dharma, when that is created, when that is allowed, when that co-creation is met. And so as we settle in this machine, exploring

[06:42]

the activity of presence, exploring the accessibility, the availability of presence. In some ways we can say presence has two qualities. One is depth. It's as if, as the attention grows more full, the story associated with it, that usually is the primary experience. The kokyo chants a certain way and a story pops into our head. Really, we haven't gone much beyond the world according to me.

[07:52]

Just picked a little snippet and then returned to the glory of our narrative. Now back to the main plot, me. presence is a little deeper, what's happening, the particulars of it, are not only a little more vivid, but they're also more alluring. And the world, the interaction, the experience, is not so much brought into me, into my world, as there's an opening out to meet it. And as the presence is fuller, this experience

[09:15]

has its own authority. It has its own fullness of being. And in that fullness, it vibrates. It's itself. It's its own wordless haiku. own blossoming flower. And no words can reach it. And often we add words anyway. Just for the heck of it. And then the other aspect of presence is breath.

[10:20]

because the human mind and heart create endless variations on a theme. The mind can leap in a fraction of a second, can associate in extraordinary ways. sometimes exquisitely pleasant and sometimes painful and difficult. And the poignant difficulty for us as humans is that the world, according to me,

[11:33]

is our best effort at making life work. And there's a way in which being asked to forgo it is like an insult to our effort. So this is a delicate process. Entering as fully as possible into presence. And both these categories have their place. In the more systematic processes, you know, sati, this broad, is promoted first. I was saying yesterday how it creates a stability but it also creates a practicality and an integration.

[12:36]

And as that comes into being, the depth of full attention into a moment, finds its place in the order of things. Otherwise, we take it as some jewel that we now own, some expression of our great accomplishment, or some way we can separate from this tawdry life and live in the exalted realm of the gods. And in this endeavor, there's a very interesting coin.

[13:48]

I thought Dogen mentioned it in the Tenzo Kyokan, the instructions to the Tenzo, but I couldn't find it. But here's what it is. The teacher's walking through the kitchen and the monk is separating the grit from the rice. you don't want to cook the grit and have it be in the food. So you separate out the grit. And the teacher asks the monk, do you separate the grit from the rice or do you separate the rice from the grit? What he's asking is, in bringing forth presence, are you emphasizing moments of distraction or are you emphasizing moments of presence?

[15:02]

And maybe if we were very clever, and very adept, we'd say both. And in some ways, this is the all-embracing request. Whatever arises, meet it fully. But as we're exploring, as we're finding what we might call the wholehearted trust that now is where life happens. Now is where the world unfolds. And there is nothing other than now. As I said, in a way it's an insult to me. It challenges it at its very root. In this tentative place, we need a careful approach.

[16:29]

Reassurance. Moments of what presence has to offer. So in the heart of Sashin, where we now are, those moments where presence, where the moment is available, to let them be experienced. The capacity to experience the experience is now growing. And maybe there are sweet moments when your body feels like liquid energy and your mind like a calm ocean and your clarity like a clear blue sky.

[17:50]

And then this presence is a wide open gate. But usually it's more like a clamor, it's more... Hafiz described it as the 10,000 idiots. There's a very funny poem that he wrote and he says, when the 10,000 idiots temporarily go on vacation. Don't get too excited. They'll be back. Will you have your moment of palpable presence? Yes. But don't get too excited. The ten thousand idiots will be back. But in the midst of the clamor, when the moment of awareness arises,

[19:02]

Let it register, let it sink in. And as we do this, we learn something of the yoga of when all things are seen as Buddha Dharma. And from there, as we see it, we learn experientially how to let it expand and hold even what from the impulses of our personality we might push away. Because those very things that we normally push away are unseen. They're invisible to us.

[20:05]

but they have an authority in our life. And as we develop this capacity to hold them and see them and feel them, integration happens. Recently someone called me up and they said I have a terrible dilemma my mother's dying and the person has a lot of siblings she said to all her children one thing I ask of you one thing I ask of you my children don't leave me alone when I'm dying And now she's in this condition where her lungs are filling up with fluid.

[21:17]

Happens when you're dying. Not everybody, but it's not unusual either. To take care of it, they wanted to put her in the ICU, the intensive care unit. In the intensive care unit, her children could not be with her. they take her out of the intensive care unit, she'll be taken off the machine and her lungs will fill up in chilled drought in the internal ocean. So this person said to me, this is my dilemma. This is my situation.

[22:20]

How many ways, large and small, does life present us with something that our impulse is? No. Well, sue the doctor, because obviously if the doctor done a better job the situation wouldn't have arisen. We'll yell and scream and bang your head off your wall. We'll fight with your siblings. All perfectly understandable responses. But what is it to stay present? What is it to stay here with exactly how things are? What did I say?

[23:41]

I said, that sounds awful. That must be incredibly painful and difficult to be in the middle of. You know, needs slipping in that word. This fiercer presence. So to live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even with a fiercer life. So as you find yourself cultivating presence, you know, not to say

[24:47]

It's going to be hell on wheels. But it's also not so likely to be nothing but choruses of angels singing in the heavens. And when it's either, that's what it is. Equanimity is not that we've managed to dissociate from life. It's not that we've managed to sterilize life, our own mind, our own psychology, into a state of submission. Our life is vibrant, unruly, unruly. It has a fierce need to be alive, to be what it is.

[25:55]

We enter presence, we become presence to discover how that is facilitated. We align the body, we align the breath, the physicality of being, the pulsing vibration of being. We align it so that the mind, consciousness, can be more available for attention, both directed and wide. And these are the attributes of sati, of mindfulness, and the attributes of samadhi.

[27:11]

These both have their place. and then after a while the person called me back and said they cleared my mom's lungs I'm deeply grateful the world is fierce but meeting the fierceness It doesn't get us what we want, but somehow it connects us to the vitality of life, resisting the fierceness. Even if you sue the doctor for all the money in the world, it's not enough.

[28:19]

Even if you yell and scream at all your siblings, it's not enough. even if you berate yourself for your own inadequacies. You know, what I'm saying is, as these come up, we might say, well, let's grit, throw it away. That's getting in the way of practice. that's distracting me from the purity of presence. Don't be so sure. Each arising. Dogen Senji says, when all things are met as Buddha Dharma, when all things are met as Buddha Dharma,

[29:28]

There's delusion. There's realization. There's practice. There's birth. There's death. There's Buddhas. There's sentient beings. this kind of wholeheartedness. That lets us see the way in which we're waiting for Sasheen to be over. And in that moment, let something soften.

[30:38]

lets us see when our mind quiets and becomes concentrated how there's an impulse to grasp. That's what I wanted. That's why I'm here. Lets us see the versatility of our own negative thinking. our discontent, our fears, our anxieties? Can there be a breath that just says yes and paradoxically says yes when we're saying no?

[31:48]

when we're resisting. Okay. Resisting. Was that person delighted, relieved, deeply grateful when their mother's lungs cleared and she came out of ICU and was there with all her children around her? Of course. But now she knows. The story's not over. This is a beautiful moment, but the story's not over. But there's a way in which that makes the moment all the more beautiful, all the more precious.

[32:51]

This is the gift of presence. That contributes. Impermanence is not the great enemy. Impermanence is just the nature of how it is. The other day, in the hallway, I came across Blanche and she was lying on the ground. I said, Blanche? And she said, yeah. I said, did you fall? Yes. He said, I fell and I'm just lying here waiting to see how it is. I'm just waiting to see are any of the bones broken? Is there any internal bleeding? Just waiting to see what the consequences are. And in a moment, I'll get back up.

[34:00]

It didn't seem at all perturbed. And then she said, okay, I think I'm ready to get back up. When you notice that your mind has wandered, in that moment of noticing, pause. happened? How's your body? How's your state of mind? Can it be its own gift? And when there's palpable presence, can that be its own gift? this way of practicing.

[35:07]

And can they... the endless details of the soto way. Can we be patient with them? Okay. We do it exactly like this. And then you find you didn't do it exactly the way you're supposed to. Can you notice the deviation? The creative variation you just inadvertently added. That's its own gift, though. the sincere, wholehearted effort of the kokyo. Everybody who hears is supported in their practice.

[36:29]

The territory of presence becomes more familiar, more attractive, more accessible. So as we enter into the heart of Sashin, we dare to let this be our life. And we dare to live this life. here, now, as it is. And let everything come here. As Yeats says, can we make our minds so like still water

[37:37]

that they gather about us beings, that beings gather about us, that they may see, it may be their own images, and so live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even a fiercer life, because of our quiet. I would mess this up a little bit and say, with our willingness, Can we make our attitude so willing that the moment is accessible? That the co-creation happens in presence? Can we learn through experience, how to make presence accessible and how to engage it fully.

[38:50]

When it's pleasant, when it's unpleasant. When it's as simple as opening your hand and when it seems as formidable. There's just no way forward. The one thing your mother asks of you, you're not able to do. When it's impossible, pause. feel impossibility. When it flows smoothly, flows smoothly. To sit like this, with this kind of

[40:10]

daring, this kind of courage, this kind of dedication, this kind of not knowing, this kind of commitment. Dogen Senji calls it, when all things are Buddha Dharma. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma.

[41:14]

For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

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