This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening, bodhisattvas. So, starting to really enjoy saying good words good morning bodhisattvas or good evening bodhisattvas at the beginning of lectures. I don't know why I'm on this bodhisattva kick, but maybe it could be the sincerity and the quality of attention that I feel when I enter the room. It's quite palpable. To be able to come into a room like this, with this many people who have decided to wake up for the benefit of all beings, or even decided that that's something that they respond to in their heart and are curious about, supported by the abbots and teachers and peers,

[01:30]

and ordain people and lay people and food and new tatami mats and wake up bells and other bells and instruments and written materials and blogs and things. It's just amazing. It is such a supported situation. And this evening, I'm going to give a little bit of a heretical talk, perhaps. The opinions expressed on this platform may or may not be everybody's opinions, but they are mine, and I've been working with them for some time. So we will have plenty of time for questions, answers, and I do love a good argument.

[02:39]

So please feel free to notice the things that move you or that you disagree with because I'm very interested in what you have to say. We are at the beginning of a two and a half month practice period, which is a meditation intensive at Beginner's Mind Temple. The theme of the practice period is the body as great vehicle practice. Great vehicle meaning a vehicle that's tall enough, wide enough, and deep enough to include everyone and everything. And so that we are fulfilling a wish to wake up, a wish to be at peace for and with everyone, and not simply, you know, because peace is something we can take home and put on our mantle, you know, for ourselves.

[03:53]

And in this two and a half months, the people who are in the practice period are turning inwards, renouncing many things about living outside the temple. Some people have traveled long distances. Some people travel long distances every day to commute to the Zendo. Some people sit at home and make arrangements to do that. And almost everyone has decided to do something in particular to support an intention to practice more deeply. over these two and a half months. And everyone in this room and everyone who hears this talk is invited to participate. Whether you're officially registered or not, you're invited to join in in the spirit of this, knowing that it's supported by people who are living here to do this. Leading the practice period, our senior Dharma teacher,

[05:02]

Zen K. Blanche Hartman, who's seated across from me, and myself. And we're supported by the abbot of this temple, Ryushin Paul Heller, who extended the invitation, and by the central abbot, Yogan Steve Stuckey. And during the practice period, there will be a change of abbacy as well. So we'll all get together as a community. to celebrate Paul's tenure, his tenure of service, maybe nine years or 11 years by now, nine years. So he served for an especially long time. And to formally invite Kiku Christina Leinherr to come and fulfill that role. And so with all these big doings and all of the demands and things going on in the world, how do we find our peace?

[06:07]

And how do we develop, vigorously develop, our intention for the practice period, whatever it is, in the body, in our own body, in the middle of San Francisco? with everything that's going on here, with the sounds, with the tragedies, with the transitions, with the livelihood issues, with the families and people who are here. How do we do this? What do we do? In ancient times and for many, many years, many centuries actually, it was thought that Deep concentration could be practiced only in a monastery, in a forest, grove, or some other secluded setting. And so we're doing something pretty courageous.

[07:09]

We're attempting to find not just attention, not just mindfulness, but actually concentration in a very busy setting. How will we do that? What does that take? And there are many conditions that are traditionally thought of as conducive to the practice of concentration. And the opinion that I'm about to express that's non-standard is that those conditions must not be necessary conditions. Those must just be really good conditions. Because if they were necessary, there wouldn't be any Martin Luther King or Mother Teresa in this world. There wouldn't be any people who naturally and spontaneously concentrate. So those must just be very good conditions.

[08:12]

And my other nonstandard opinion is that those conditions can be created either through, in any of three ways, through the actual arising of a very good condition, such as a quiet forest grove with food that magically drops from the sky, and bathing facilities that appear all warm and nice when you need them, journals that appear on the leaves of the trees, and so on. So that kind of special condition that Well, we actually created at Tassajara through the support of hundreds and thousands of people and lots of loving attention. But the city is a different area of the world. So it can be created because the conditions actually arise.

[09:15]

And make no mistake about it, I think that these are good conditions in Beginner's Vine Temple, just not silent and and totally dedicated the way that Dasahara is. In precisely the way that Dasahara is, I should say, because we're totally dedicated. The second way is through skill, through understanding what our limitations are, particularly our physical and physiological limitations. and skillfully addressing them. And the third way is through insight. Through insight that's so piercing, illuminating, and vast that any condition is just fine so long as it allows us to wake up with other people.

[10:21]

So those three ways... are the three ways that I have found in my life that create good conditions for concentration. And this practice period, I would particularly like to look at the second two areas, the second two ways of creating good conditions. The area of developing skill and means with our limitations and conditions. and the area of insight that gets built on the foundation of concentration that we develop with skill. And so what are the conditions? Well, traditionally, monasteries contain the following conditions. They're non-toxic, safe places free from wild animals and other threats, in which it's easy to find the resources that one needs for practice, both the physical resources like cushions or quiet places under trees and sutras and that sort of thing, and also the psychologically and emotionally supportive conditions like the presence of a teacher

[11:54]

and people who have achieved insight in the same place before. And the place should not be poisonous in any way. There should be nothing about it that brings up the fight-and-flight response in particular. And several of the other conditions are internal. You have to know your purpose, and you have to be content with limiting your purposes to the purpose that is conducive towards insight. And so traditionally, because it's easier to find those conditions in a dedicated place, like Deer Park Monastery, Jetavana Grove, or Tassahara, or, you know, Zuyoji, easier to find those conditions when groups of people gather together to create them.

[12:55]

That's why they have been named as the good places for concentration. Or the Buddha also says, if you're doing this as a solitary, concentration practices as a solitary practice, to look for a tree to sit under or an empty place. And there are not that many, or if You know, the trees here usually have various other things going on under them that we wouldn't want to sit next to. So, skillful means. It is possible to create a place in which we can unite stabilization, concentration-type practices, and insight. And that's the functional definition of Zazen practice, that we develop in a practice period. And I think in particular for us in this culture, we need to look at basic healthful conditions like regulating our food, our sleep, and our exercise.

[14:13]

So I want to ask you to consider how is your food How is your sleep? How is your exercise? Because those things, the stability of those very simple things can go a long way to creating a person who is able to be friendly and to concentrate. And so I ask you about food, about sleep, and about exercise, even though I've never heard those words in the Buddha hall before. Because the Buddha, though we don't emphasize this so much, was first a yogi. And the teaching of the middle way, which he taught as...

[15:16]

the middle way between the extremes of nihilism and being caught up in the self, between indulgence and asceticism. We can actually examine the middle way in our own body. A really good example of how we can do this at San Francisco Zen Center is that on Saturday morning we have an oreo-gi meal. Oryoki breakfast. Oryoki are the set of three bowls that we use for a formal ceremony of giving and receiving nourishment in which kind hands give food and quiet hands receive it. The word Oryoki means just enough. Have we thought about that?

[16:19]

Orioki means just enough. It's a thing or an apparatus that's just enough. It holds just enough. And the practice of Orioki gives us just enough to enter a world of luminous, peaceful reality in which giver, receiver, and gift are one. And the same with regulating our sleep and our activity levels. Can we do this in a way that's just enough? And we struggle against a cultural bias in the mainstream culture here, in which we tend to be impatient if the computer takes five extra seconds to boot up, or if somebody doesn't go right away when the light changes. in which we multitask and in which there's a lot of noise and nobody thinks about creating noise as changing or altering everybody's space.

[17:32]

That's not common for people to think that way. But we can think that way for ourselves and we can learn what are our healthy boundaries in in the midst of wholehearted dedication to this practice? With what boundaries, not defenses, but boundaries, can we approach the practice in a way that's healthy for us? With what understandings and skillful means can we create a body that's upright, that's inclusive, and that's acquainted with its own depths. So that's the question I put to you.

[18:33]

How are you sleeping these days? Have you eaten? If so, was it nourishing? The Buddha did teach four nourishments or four nutriments, and those are food, is nourishing the body. Sense experience, nourishing the senses. Practice, nourishing intention. And the result, which is nourishing consciousness. So in the way that we think of food as nourishing the body, can we understand how the sense experiences we choose to have, over which we have some control, can nourish or deplete us, how our willingness to go to the zendo when we've made the intention to go to the zendo or to sit at home, how that nourishes our intention, our deepest intention, and how all of that nourishes consciousness.

[19:50]

so that our perceptual life, the part of our physical, our emotional, our physiological and mental experience that we have choices about can be transformed. I'm not saying that you have to be someone different from who we are. I'm saying that We need to respect our intention enough to settle our conditions and enter a world of mutual respect. Anyway, because it's possible to present all kinds of practices, but can we receive them? Can we physically and physiologically receive them? And the Buddha also taught the four Mahabrahma-viharas of friendliness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity.

[21:00]

And these are experienced in the body, and they're practiced in the body. The mind of friendliness or the mind of compassion comes about through physical and physiological experiences. creation of experience. And the mind that's created, I should even say not just the mind that's created, but the world that's created for us at that time is benevolent field of practice, a field far beyond form and emptiness. When we practice with our physical form. It's like practicing surrounded by Buddha's robe. We say, great robe of liberation, filled far beyond form and emptiness, wearing the Tathagata, one who thus comes, teaching, saving all beings.

[22:11]

But this is a robe. This is a form. You know, even underneath this form, there are these clothes that can be clean or dirty, and this skin that can be clean or dirty, nourished or depleted. And so I think in this regard, the way I'm presenting it, I don't mean to... It might sound as if I'm saying, be selfish, and I'm not. I'm saying... in one way, have no regard for yourself at all. And that's the way of setting up defenses and barriers. But do have infinite respect and regard for yourself as far as the boundaries that you need to maintain health in practice. And if your conditions have to change, if you have to...

[23:17]

develop new agreements, or look at yourself in a different way because of that, please do, because this is important. This is bottom line stuff. So when somebody looks, when I look for a practice friend, you are my practice friend. I look in your eyes and I see my practice friend. My practice friend who has decided to wake up, who has decided that waking up is important, important enough to come to this lecture. And I look at you and what kind of friend am I for you? Am I taking care of myself well enough to be a good practice friend for you? Am I taking care of myself well enough? to receive the transmission that's coming to me at every moment from the teachings and from the people and things around me.

[24:21]

Anyway, this is a stopping point. I have enough material here that I could speak for a lot longer, but I'm going to be quiet for a moment now because I've said a lot. I'm very interested in any comments, questions, or... disagreements you may have. Yes. It's funny that you should bring up rest, exercise, nourishment, I was just thinking, what is right livelihood for me? And I thought, well, maybe it's customer service.

[25:23]

I love customer service. And then I thought, maybe it's just service. And then I thought, well, how do I provide that service in a sustainable way? Am I resting? Am I sleeping enough? Am I eating well? and my exercise. It just gained me almost before I get to be selected. Well. I channeled you. Yeah. Thank you. I guess it's a different answer than what I want. I'm just curious how you... Maybe if you wait a second for that, please. Yes. I'll also try to repeat what Peter says.

[26:28]

He was saying maybe it's different for everyone. Yeah, it's different for everyone, but how do you go about throwing through lines, which is not how much one of your needs met, and at what point are you getting extravagant? So did you hear what Peter said? He's asking how do you draw the lines for what's indulgent or extreme or extravagant and what's enough. And what I would say is you have teachers, you have friends, and there are people who depend on you. And all of those people will have something to say if you ask them and if you're interested in what they say. But if you ask them and you're not interested enough in what they say for it to change you, don't ask. Right?

[27:34]

Okay. So that's one side of it. The other side is that through asking that question of yourself, you get to develop attention to someone who speaks with a very quiet voice right now because they haven't been listened to. And that's yourself. Now, what's really interesting is that we assume that there's a self, but when we look for a self, we can't really find it. But if we hold the concept of self lightly and examine it, I can only tell you my experience in relationship to this, but in my experience, what I generally assume to be the self if I don't look at it is a collection of body experiences and body ways of relating to the world that have a boundary.

[28:42]

And there's a kind of a diffusion or... more or less relationship to that boundary. And if I don't look at that boundary, I assume it's solid and that it actually defines something that exists on its own as opposed to everything else. And so I have to bolster that line somehow or make sure that it's maintained. But if I pay attention to... requests or needs that are coming from myself. That's a lot harder to do than assuming that there is a self and kind of being subject to its traditional boundaries. So what I'm asking you to do is no more or less than taking your own physical nourishment, physical, physiological, intellectual, and sensory and intentional nourishment as a koan.

[29:55]

Any answer that you come up with will be wrong. But any question that you ask will be right, so long as it's real. And there's a response to that. And the one who responds is named Buddha. Or... bodhicitta. There's this phrase that Ru Jing used when Dogen came to first visit him. I don't know the Chinese, but it's kano-doko. Kano is seeing and responding. Doko means paths meet. So Kano Doko is the Buddha's response to sentient beings and the sentient beings' response to Buddha, expressed in the intersection of the paths of Ru Jing and Dogen.

[30:59]

And Kano is the beginning of Kano Doko. Kano means that when we listen for the voice of awakening. If we keep listening with open-hearted curiosity, there's a response. And that's how we know. But if we think we know, once we think we know, we don't know. So it's a problem to know. But it's a worse problem not to know. Anyway, they're both really bad. So just enter the field and work with it. It's like exercising a muscle. You know, you have to exercise it in the right way. And you learn the right way by making mistakes. That's the only way we learn. So, thanks for your question. Were yours related?

[32:03]

Just on a practical level, you know, of creating a body that's an issue, not just for people who come like me from a history of trauma and a hyper, what is that kind of vision? Yes. You know, the sacred comfort here, because it's a safe place, you know, in a dark room and there's always people around you, obviously you're physically safe, so it's easier to be able to relax and to start to concentrate. It has been harder to do that at home, but that's what the issue was. It kind of should work. Yes. Did you hear? Did everyone hear? No? So anyone who didn't hear? So this is a wonderful question because it has to do with the conditions you come with. So Ellen was asking about if we come with a history, a history that creates anxiety,

[33:08]

such as a post-traumatic history, one with which I'm well familiar since these two accidents that I'm working with now, right, by the way. So in the zendo, there are good conditions. It's safe because there are people around us who have the same intention. There's physical support of someone sitting on your left and right, and you know that the zendo will be there. It will be dark. It will be clean. There'll be a cushion. Okay? Okay. At home, it may not feel the same way. How do you create that support and that boundary at home? So what I'm saying is that at home, one needs to deal with the things that give rise to the fight-and-flight response in us. And you might say, well, I'm hypervigilant. Everything gives rise to the fight-and-flight response. You know, if a branch taps against the window, I startle. And there are various ways to take care of and resolve the things that create the fight-and-flight response in us.

[34:17]

First, before dealing with the fight-and-flight response, we have to deal with anything that's unwholesome about ourselves. So it's like big pieces first. So anything that's really getting in the way, like, for instance, if I have a gigantic... gigantic, huge debt that I've been running away from for a really long time, and it's to an angry somebody in my life. I have to take care of that. I have to get mediation or do something conventional that really takes care of that. I have to take care of it the best I can. And then I have to get support and encouragement that nourish the anxious place in me. So for instance, I'll just tell you a little story. So I was in some accidents and in one I was, something fell on me and in another one someone hit me with their vehicle.

[35:25]

And so it's hard for me to cross the street. So I've been crossing the street since I was, I don't know, two years old or something. But then all of a sudden when I'm 50, What year was 2008? 55 or something, 56. It's suddenly really, really hard for me to cross the street. And I'm hypervigilant around cars. And actually, someone was driving me somewhere and sitting in the car. And a pedestrian started walking across the street. And I went, oh! And the person sitting next to me said, would you just close your eyes? You know, so whatever works. Whatever works. And there are things that you can do. Like you can practice appeasing the anxiety by meeting it and noting it and saying anxiety and anxiety.

[36:37]

Breathing through the anxiety and encouraging yourself to sit up with it. And you can limit the amount of time that you do it because it's unpleasant at first. Later it becomes pleasant and energetic. So now I'm at the point where I say, okay, let's cross the street. But there was a lot between there and here. First, I had to literally say, would you hold my hand as I cross the street to someone? I'm sure you remember this. I'm sure you remember this. Would you hold my hand and help me cross the street? And then, would you walk next to me and help me cross the street? And then, okay, now I'm going to cross the street and I'm going to wait for a time when the street is empty. Okay, now I'm going to cross the street and I'm going to wait until there are no cars within a half block.

[37:43]

Now I'm going to cross the street and it's a stop sign and I'm going to make eye contact with the driver. So at home you can do similar things. Now I'm going to breathe for 10 breaths. Now I'm going to breathe and be attentive for 15 breaths. Now I'm going to breathe and be attentive. And watch where the anxiety begins. Now I'm going to breathe and, or actually before that, now I'm going to breathe and be attentive. When I notice anxiety, I'll say anxiety. Now I'm going to look for a little deeper into it. Now I'm going to look a little deeper into it in a loving way. So you can do that. You can also sit in a way which is more pleasant for you. or more supported for you in some way. Like, for instance, you could get an app on your iPhone that rings a bell and tells you that 14,230 people all over the world are sitting with you right at this moment.

[38:54]

Such an app actually exists. Actually, we now have a practice period blogged Okay, so it's been my midnight work for the past few days. And there's a practice period blog. And so there's all kinds of entertaining things that you can look at before and after you sit. So there are things. You can listen to chanting. You can listen to a service before you sit and after you sit. Anyway, there are many things. Make it pretty. Make it comfortable. Make it a place you want to be. Okay. Anything else? Any other comments about this? Yeah. That's when you're physically awake. The question is why?

[39:55]

I think it's to your mind when you're sitting, your body is relaxing, but... your mind right now. Okay. And so how do you, how do you know the day, or how do you come to get to sleep, you're not getting to sleep? Okay, well, the practice of zazen is half calm abiding. That's half. The practice of zazen, the old name for zazen in Tendai Buddhism was shamatha vipassana. calm-abiding, dash, insight. And it's the yoking of stability and penetration that's the unique family style of this school. And so I would say you can use your discerning abilities in sitting as well.

[40:57]

How do you bring them up? How do you even know you're asleep is one question. So one way to do that is was it Reb who used to sit with something on top of his head so that if he fell asleep it would fall down? Do you remember that? It was Reb, yeah. So he used to sit with something on the crown of his head and if he started nodding because he was physically talented, able to cross his legs and athletic and energetic and motivated, but he would instantly go into Z land when trying to sit. And so he would sit there and it would help him be upright with his sitting posture. And the more upright, the more exactly upright you are, the less likely you are to be sleeping. You set your internal awareness in the way that a mother cat appears to doze by the fire, but as soon as the kittens move, there she is.

[42:02]

So you can make a physical feedback system like that. I think I've heard Zen stories about this, but they're not coming to mind right now, but they were pretty drastic. You can also open a window, right? You can sit in a slightly more difficult posture. Or do a practice that requires slightly more attention or that you're slightly more interested in. Another thing that you can do is count or focus on inhalations. Allowing the inhalation to ascend the ladder of your chest will give you alertness. Does that make sense to you? So those are various things you can do. When all else fails, get up and walk around the block. You know? If you're at Zen Center, you can't. But if you're at home, you can. That's one of the advantages of sitting at home. If you're at Zen Center, you might just have to sit and sleep until you learn how to wake up.

[43:12]

Oh, the other thing is it's not always 100% bad. Sometimes you're tired. You know? So that's something to look at too. And how to create sleep is, again, that's a personal practice. And if you go online and look up sleep methods of, you will find various people's suggestions for what to do at the end of the day and how much exercise to get and the characteristics of a bedroom and so on that I'm not going to repeat now. But there are several practices that I do when sleeping and when I wake. And one of those is to make a gatha for sleeping, a verse for sleeping. The one I use is the one that Suzuki Roshi gave us. This evening when I sleep, he brought it with him.

[44:17]

It's from the Avatamsaka Sutra. This evening when I sleep, I vow with all beings to still all things. and clear the mind of confusion. And then in the morning, this morning as I wake, I vow with all beings to bring all things to awakening without throwing off the world. So if you have some intention that you say when you sleep, your practice is actually vaster and wider than you know. If you put your attention on it as you sleep, And you keep bringing your attention to it whenever you wake up or are awake in the middle of the night. Even if you start by going to sleep at 2 in the morning and just lying there both, you know, like totally eyes open because you can't sleep because you've been playing computer games until 2 or worrying about life.

[45:18]

Even if you start there, it will change. And those are preliminary practices. If you think about the Tibetans, they do nundra. Nundra practice is foundation practice. And for nundra, many Tibetan monks, when starting a certain practice, will do 100,000 offerings, 100,000 guru dedications. You know, 100,000 mantra repetitions. Can we do 100,000 attempts to include sleep in our practice life? 100,000 meals where we care about what goes in for the purpose of creating a body situation that's a good vehicle.

[46:19]

Can we do that? Can we join each other? And I'm not saying that you have to be healthy to practice. Not at all. Anyone can practice, no matter what our state. But what I am saying is, are we willing to be friendly enough and create enough of a sangha that we can support each other with our care for this short period of time? How are we doing on time, by the way? What is it? Okay. Is there any single word without which this evening will not be complete? Thank you. Thank you and good night. Thanks. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[47:42]

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