OK, we'll start with homework. What did you carry away as your homework from last week, and what did you do with it? Chris? I don't know the assignments, so because I left early. OK. That'd be good. OK. Who didn't leave early? Where are you, Keith? There you are. He's looking for me. Let's see. The assignment was to see life as always holding up the flower, trying to find an instance where happened and how do we cultivate it and deal with the closeness to the intimacy.

[01:05]

That's how I understood. That's what I went away with. Did that illuminate your life? Yeah. It filled more of my empty moments with a question. And I'm glad I can tell you this, because it's more of a question from an accountable question. I was really enjoying a lot of wordless moments. But in the back of my mind, I suppose I might have been observing those as maybe useless, because I didn't feel like I was learning something that I could quantify and explain to other people. And with your assignment, suddenly I was asking questions. What is the proper thing to be doing at this moment? And what is the proper thing to be doing at this moment? Well, I started doing a little more things. What is the proper thing to be doing at this moment? Yeah. OK, I'm about to. Is that your active exploration of holding up a flower?

[02:11]

Wow, that's right. It's just the opposite. He said a whole week. I was doing fine, wasn't I? Nothing he's laughing. I was doing fine. So how did you do with the practice you were doing? Oh, before? The week before? No, no, no. This one that it turned into. I was trying to make some decisions about some practical decisions about money and the things I need to do with my room. I need another . I juggle all this around. And I know in my heart of hearts that we don't have to fall victim to stressing things out and getting caught in morals, right and wrong, and other things.

[03:21]

I looked in the mirror, and I took all of that, and I let a stick of incense, and I just decided to not buy into it to see what would happen. Let go of it. It's kind of embarrassing. All I did was laugh. And that's embarrassing? Yeah, I mean, because it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But I didn't worry about it. I just put that stuff away. There's nothing I could do about it. But that all happened after I left. It was like I wasn't laughing at anything in particular. For a moment, there was nothing to do. There was nothing to think of. There was nothing to grasp onto or try to figure it out. So I just left alone. That's kind of strange sometimes when I think about it. I don't know. Have you ever laughed when you're alone at nothing in particular?

[04:26]

I tell jokes, you know. I enjoy the chuckle. It kind of felt cleansing. And I just couldn't think about that stuff anymore because there's nothing I could do about it that night. And that was it. It was delivery. Thank you. Anyone else? Curtis Schur, how they practiced So I walked in, and I stood in. I walked in, and I tried to move away from the door where everybody likes to stand and walk through. And walks in, so I stood through the back. There was this man right about me. So I moved to one side, expecting him to move over.

[05:39]

But he did, and I tried to find a place on the other side. And something in my manner must have offended him. He proceeded to spew forth this loud string of curses. worst piece of whatever here, and this, and screw you, and fuck you, and all this. And this went on and on and on. It's very loud. And a couple other people started on that. So I said, OK, I'll just, this is just a big sunflower. and actually looked at him to smile and say, good morning, a sunflower or whatever. And he took offense, of course, to the fact that I even turned and looked at him, and he had all of them found this thing, whatever it was inside of him, that pour and pour it. So I turned away, and I just sat there, and I just stood there.

[06:42]

And I heard all this running away. And the sunflower, there's a Buddha nature in there somewhere. Way down inside. It wasn't very selfless. And then the next stop, he was cursing all the way, walking out and thinking, you've got to get out of here. All the people in the community started to pass. So I walked out of the stairs. That was curious, because there would have been times when I would have reacted. That's all. So what was the unsurpassable continuous practice that didn't get snared by more habitual karmic responses? I don't know what it was, but I was actually kind of enjoying it.

[07:46]

I mean, I felt tranquil. And it was kind of, I can't just tell you the truth. I didn't intellectually start wondering what where the continuous unsurpassing practice was just kind of trying to practice. It was just letting practice out. Do you think that question necessitates a deep analysis? For me, though, sometimes... What is the nature of its request? Yeah. Sometimes my mind gets exhausted with analysis. What do you think the nature of the request of that question is? The question of what? What is it to practice such a way? What is it to continue to practice such a way? Would you like to come closer?

[09:21]

Well, we were just talking about all-inclusive practice. We're experimenting with appreciation. And it kind of backfired. seemed to also contain lack of appreciation. So when I would appreciate circumstance or a moment, I would then start noticing other things about it that I didn't appreciate. So that's all inclusiveness. But it seemed to go too much to the side of preferences, so I dropped that. And then I just started noticing. I forget what Suzuki Roshi says in one of his published lectures.

[10:21]

I don't know if you talk about Buddha knocking or something knocking. So I took whatever that notion of knocking was as an opportunity to just notice whenever anything seems like an interruption that it was actually part of the scene, that it was just something not being, something entering. And that that was a way to see not only continuity, but to engage with what felt to be continuous practice by just being a way to whatever was not being. loud neighbors or somebody on the uni. Uni is a really bright opportunity for continuous practice.

[11:23]

I sometimes recommend wearing surgical masks. Cold feet. So that's all. I started with something, and then it wasn't working, so I dropped it. So for those of you who weren't here last week, last week we looked at a story from the fascicle. This story had different particulars to it, but one particular was gestation. How long does it take to be ready to engage the Dharma? And then once you start to engage it, how long does it take Once you're ready to engage it, how long does it take to actually engage it? And then what is it to actually engage even when circumstances and conditioners and opinions of others don't seem conducive?

[12:28]

Anyway, that's my summary of last week's story. Anyone else want to say anything before we move on to this week's But we'll do it again. It's inexhaustible. I'll read the story and just see how it impacts You don't have to read it. I'll read it, and you can just look.

[13:52]

What did you say then? Page 121. Page 121 what? First of all, see how the story impacts you. Is there some detail or a couple of details that resonate more than others? But there's a way when we make ourselves available for an experience, often it's more revealing than we're just occupying ourselves doing something to the experience. So this letting it impact makes a shift.

[14:57]

It's like Dogen Zenji saying, when the world comes forth and confirms itself, this is awakening. So when we're cultivating, inquiring minds, it's not so much about analyzing, figuring out. It's more about letting what's already there be illuminated through the activity of actualizing, through the activity that's created from subject and object meeting. It's from fully meeting the person unmuting who's yelling and screaming at you, you know, and being fully present to what's activated. Georgia once said to the assembly, If you do not leave the monastery in your lifetime and do not speak for five or ten years, no one can call you speechless.

[16:03]

Even Buddhas would not know what to make of you. Jāgyū expresses the same practice in this way. If you know that not to speak for five or ten years may have the appearance of being speechless, but because of the merit of not leaving the monastery, not speaking is not the same as being speaking. The Buddha way is like this. One who is capable of speaking does not speak. But one who is capable of speaking but does not speak is not like an ordinary person who has not heard the voice of the world. This unsurpassable continuous practice is not leaving the monastery. Not leaving the monastery is total speech that is dropping off. Most people do not know nor speak of going beyond speechless. No one keeps them from speaking of it, but nevertheless they don't speak of it.

[17:03]

They don't discover or understand that to go beyond speechless is to express dustness. How regrettable. Quietly engage in the sustained practice of not leaving the monastery. Do not be swayed east or west by the winds of east and west. spring breeze and the autumn moon of the five or ten years, unbeknownst to us, have the ring of emancipation beyond sound and thought. This voice is not known to the self, not understood by the self. Learn to treasure each moment of sustained practice. Do not assume that not just speak is useless. It is entering the monastery and leaving the monastery. The bird's path and the forest The entire world is forest, the monastery. OK, so what was the first impact of that?

[18:05]

Confusing. What was confusing? The double negative. The double negative? And what did that in your being? Were you annoyed? Were you frightened? Were you lose interest? I didn't understand. I felt like I needed to slow down. That's maybe a little bit like you were pulling you in. You need to slow down and read it more carefully. Yes, please. Oh, let's not go there.

[19:11]

What's it like to be confused? What's it like? Well, finally, I just sort of gave up trying to understand. Ah, right now. Right now, what's it like? I'm tired, and so it's really frustrating. Frustrating. Come home. More of the same. Well, statistics are much easier to figure out than Logan. Figure right. Figure right. What I've been saying in just a second, Mike. Thank you. You see how it impacts. I mean, how it impacts is how it impacts. If it creates Huh? Well, then that's what it creates. And that's what it creates. Okay. And it has since Wednesday. Last Wednesday. Something about letting that resonate, as Dobin says, like a hammer hitting the bell of emptiness.

[20:21]

Just like it just resonates. It feels like there's a fundamental point that I'm missing. We'll get to that. Don't worry about it. But what if that's my cloud? That's the question. Yeah. Maybe. Yes. I think it's, well, my main thing that I was feeling was just how it's just sort of so similar to Parsha, like it's just about like not leaving the monastery kind of the same as making a vow, like what makes you knew your vow. But what's really striking me right now is that Dogen so often seems to be working, like he creates an opportunity to experience what he's talking about. Because the way he wrote about not speaking was so bright, sort of making your way through this patch of

[21:26]

So what is it to hear this and not speak in the hearing? What could that be? What is it to not speak in the hearing of the text? Yes. To just have the impact. Not so much that it has to be wordless or thoughtless. It doesn't require a commentary. Okay, it's frustrating. Okay. It's almost more like, what does frustrating feel like? Then what do you do to act like or thwart or alleviate frustration? I actually didn't feel frustrated. No, I was just using .

[22:27]

Yeah. I was thinking a lot of speaking. But it seemed like the way was talking about these external voices causing doubt and bringing up doubt, it's like all of this double negative. Don't assume that not to speak is whatever it is. And it's kind of like, don't assume that kind of like you're entertaining those voices like, what do you mean you're not going to speak? What's that? And like challenging about whatever it is, in this case, not speaking. Yeah, but what is that? Not to speak. What is it to hear this being read and just let it be like hearing a poem? The impact of it is more an aesthetic than, I don't know, a point of logic.

[23:33]

Yeah. It's creating an opportunity for that. GARY GENSLER- Exactly. That's the territory. Can you say that sentence? GARY GENSLER- Exactly. I don't know. What about the aesthetic and the point of logic? It's hearing it like a poem. It's more like an aesthetic than a point of logic. When you hear a poem, you don't think, let me figure it out. Well, maybe you do, but I would say yes. Quite likely not the point of the poets writing a poem. that he or she had in mind. Yes, Dan? For me, it brought up questions, and it was, I wondered, what does it mean to not read the monastery in the city center? Yeah. And I thought, well, what is the monastery?

[24:44]

Yeah. And then it was kind of a moving thing, because the experience of that was some sense of being close to practice, of being close to something essential about practicing. So not leaving that. Yeah. I suppose it's kind of a wonderful feeling. Kind of a what? Wonderful feeling. Yeah. Great. Anyone else? He felt relieved. Speaking has always been an issue for me. I came here really bad. Speaking, speaking, speaking, always speaking. As you read it, I thought I was going to come up with some kind of a thing about speaking too much, you know. And then at the very last time, the whole forest is monastery.

[25:47]

Wherever you come from, approach from, you where I need to be doing what I need to do. Yes. Well, I really like this use of the word voice, everything about voice in here, and the way that people People who have heard the voice of the way know how to express the way without speaking. And it made me think about, when I started practice, how impressed I was with people who were in practice, the way they moved, especially in the kitchen, and the way they handled their bodies, and the way they didn't bump into each other. I thought it was really incredible. I almost moved to tears sometimes. We started in Berkeley. We had a very small kitchen. And people were like ballet dancers.

[26:49]

And they were incredible without being pretentious about it. And I was really touched. To me, it was like the saying, you expound the dharma with his body as foremost. It was that. It was the way. I was very drawn to that. Thank you. We're going to take that moment. What I'm asking you is how did it impact you? It made sense for me. It made sense. What's it like when something makes sense? What was it like when this made sense? So then the response we have, oh, we'll come back to you Larry.

[28:17]

Did you still want to say something? The response we have is completely the response we have. It doesn't need to be excused, it doesn't need to be dismissed, or it doesn't need to be compared, contrasted to anyone else's response. So what is it to leave that experience, that moment, that arising. Do you want to add something you want to make a comment? I speak just about what's happening.

[29:22]

I have read the text. Let's speak about the horizon. It means here. Spent five years or a long time in the monastery and don't speak. What I've learned is that the less you speak, the more you learn. If you play enough, play some practice. The less you speak, the more you learn. And after a certain period of time, maybe long, something happens. To me, it was difficult to practice. I didn't speak one language.

[30:23]

And sometimes I didn't know how to make it. And it forced me not to speak, but to learn by observing, by sense of words. I had to learn how to use words or many things, simple things. And I realized assimilating or absorbing things, it takes a long time. Because you have to work once, two times, three times. You have to perform. And it takes time. To me, it's clear. Try not to speak and try to be as long as possible in the present practice to absorb the practice.

[31:29]

And at the end, it's . is if you absorb the practice or the way, you are sitting in the solo. And at some point, you're no longer sitting in the solo. You are sitting in the body. You are sitting in the mountain. You are sitting in the whole universe. At some point, there is no more difference between being inside the solo. It's a good thing to spend your own time in this practice in order to acquire that. Let's move . Thank you. Experiential learning is about repetition.

[32:38]

Most of the time. Reputation. You have the experience. So the first challenge is to be present for it. The first challenge is to experience the experience. Then usually to be undone by it, a redone by it, or it is to repeat. It is to have that experience happen more than once, to happen several times. So that something about that is life. If it's complicated, there's learning about learning, and there's learning about the lesson. is learning the lessons. And so in a way all this is implicated.

[33:41]

And we don't have to go into any of that if we just hold this simple notion. How does that impact? What does that what's created what's the response then of course there's all sorts of questions we can ask Aranda what is it to allow impact what is it to not do something to impact what is it to not leave here what is it not speak or is it not create commentary and understanding understanding and assessment associated train of thought whatever what is that in the medium experiences yeah

[34:59]

This is a very solid . It is really. Nowhere safer than where we are going on. Don't worry about it, just have a seat. This building has a steel frame. and concrete steel mesh walls, and it still don't start to rock. I used to be an engineer, as was Julia Morgan, who built Snowman, as well as a wonderful architect with a great aesthetic. as the city's burning outside. They'll all be here pretty soon.

[36:04]

But something about staying where you are, not leaving the monastery. Always we're impacted by causes incognition. Sometimes the most solid thing suddenly is no longer solved. I mean, I sincerely hope that in other parts of the city that are not so well-constructed as this, that everybody's OK. Are we going to repeat the experience? so let's read it again and so the point of it so think this way you're reading this for experiential learning this is a process of experiential learning now it doesn't mean

[37:20]

your mind isn't included. Your mind is part of you. It includes your whole being. How could it not? How can you wake up and exclude some part of yourself? It doesn't make sense. Waking up is waking up with the whole monastery, with the whole ocean, with the whole forest, with the whole universe. But how the process the experience is related to, and the process is related to. So as we go through it now, notice, well then you get to something, okay, now I understand it. Then does your level of frustration go down, your level of accomplishment go up, your level of certainty, or what? We never leave the monastery, we're always noticing the impact.

[38:22]

And even though we include thinking, we never speak. Until, as we can dive further into it, where he says, go beyond that. But that'll come. It'll come to us, just as if the whole earth shakes. Xiao Yu once said to the assembly, if you do not leave the monastery in your lifetime, a whole lifetime stay here now. A whole lifetime meets the moment. A whole lifetime be willing to be exactly what is. speak for five or ten years. Under those conditions, that comes about nobody can call you speechless.

[39:39]

What about that? No one can call you speechless. You live in a monastery. That's a piece of cake. Is that what it's saying? That wasn't how I read it. Is that how you read it? Living in the monastery is a piece of cake. Standing right here being this one. for a whole lifetime? Certain practices are easier because I live with you all. Certain habits don't take hold of me. Others do, but that's another story. I find support. It's easier to do some of the practices.

[40:41]

They take a vow of not speaking. I think it would be easier if you were around everybody that already spoke anyway. Wouldn't be so tempted to speak. But what I was trying, the picture I was trying to paint to you was internal life that as an aspect of how the moment is engaged. So rather than wrapping it up in a commentary, an understanding, an associated thought, what is it to just meet the moment? The earthquake happens. And you feel it rippling through. I think earthquake's sort of a kick. I always think it's a thrill, everyone I've been in. It's a cool moment. It's very intense. I'm right here when there's an earthquake. I'm nowhere else. Is that what you were trying to do?

[41:46]

I was just trying to be topical and growing up. Bring up something that has energy. In a way, every moment, every experience has energy. And in a way, this is an essential ingredient of intimacy. And intimacy is what we're grateful. We're yearning for non-separation. We're yearning for the deep satisfaction and intimate involvement. That's an intrinsic part of that. How can that come about? What brings that about? It's an experiential learning.

[42:47]

experiential learning happens through repeated engagement in the experience. You can think about it, but can the thinking be such that it turns you back towards direct experiencing and doesn't become a distraction or a substitute? Okay, now I get it. Dogen meant this or that or the other. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. So what if he did or he didn't? How does it act as a catalyst in the engagement of experiential writing field? So that's the mind with which you hear this call. So let me read this first sentence. Chao-Yu once said to the assembly, if you do not leave the monastery in your lifetime and do not speak,

[43:57]

For five or 10 years, no one can call you speechless. So what is, I ask you, what is no one can call you speechless? I shouldn't speak louder than words. OK. I shouldn't speak louder than words. Yes? Well, I think there's a difference between thou and being speechless. And there's this vow of not speaking for five or 10 units. And then there's being speechless. I've got nothing to say because there's nothing to say. And then there's that native vow. speech that's dropping off.

[45:10]

Could you hear any of that? No. I said total speech that's dropping off. Thank you. To sleep. Any other comments? Any other comments? Yes, Max? I think there's a difference between the silence of fully entering the moment versus the silence of just kind of not knowing what's going on and what to say. So I think that's kind of what came up for me. Calling someone speechless and saying, you know... Anyone have the other translation handy?

[46:10]

I do. Could you look and see what word you used to? Once you preach to the assembly, if you spend your whole life not leaving the monastery, not talking for ten or five years, no one will be able to call you a mute. A mute. Okay. Any other notions? intrigue of our human existence as each situation arises in us. Curiosity arises in us in any way. So each experience, when this full presence something is aroused something is expressed anyone who lives in that way expresses something whether they speak or don't speak whether they are simply

[47:40]

reciting the world according to them, their opinions, their memories, their judgments, are whether they're speaking with the authentic voice that arises in the moment. So this, not speaking. So we study, what is it to stay in the monastery for a lifetime? We study What is it to not speak? We study what's expressed when there's presence and something other than a commentary, a judgment, an associated thought, memory, fantasy. What is it that's expressed? not know what to make it.

[48:46]

Anyone have a comment? Not knowing is most intimate. Thank you. Not knowing is most important. I don't mean to diminish that. That's the stocking trade of far away. Who just wouldn't know what to make of you because in that moment you're just as wide open as the moment and there's nothing to There's no handles. There's no boundaries. It's unsurpassable liberation.

[50:01]

Unsurpassable liberation. It's inconceivable. Not even Buddhists could talk about it. And it's very encouraging. I think Joshu wanted his students to practice real hard. Hey, not even Buddhas will know what to make of you, you know? You'll be so tough. Yeah. You'll be so tough? Yeah. Yes, Larry. I just keep sitting here smiling at myself. I heard this verse, you read it again, and now when these things come up is that I think what you've really done here is on the lyrics to a long-lost Bob Dylan song. So many of these things sound like these little plays . What did he mean by this?

[51:05]

What does this mean by this? Jogan, Dylan. They don't tend to live alone. It would just make you sit there and laugh. And then suddenly it hits you with what's going on here. And you're saying, it just fits. There's a conflict here. When you're being completely. No conflict with all these conflicting. They're just for fun. It's just an offering. It's its own kind of poetry. But when you're being completely yourself, it's incomparable.

[52:12]

not this it's not that it's three of those it's nine of those they don't reach it nothing when you're completing yourself when you stay in the monastery for a lifetime and let each moment resonate and resign and bring forth whatever it brings forth using you as part of that interconnected all being It's unsurpassable. Not so much that it's in competition to anyone else, but it's just so completely new. Even the Buddhists don't know what to do with it. Giorgio expresses his same practice in this way. So how to take that those first couple of sentences, and let them be the, what's the term?

[53:34]

I have a feeling for it, but I can't put it into words. Let them be the context, the involvement of your life. How can you be anything other than the moment? How can you be anywhere else? And how can you not be engaged in this moment? You're part of it. And how can you be anything other than completely yourself? So in one way the whole proposition is ridiculous. It's absurd. And yet in another way to realize it is just so utterly extraordinary liberating enthralling creative dynamic even the buddhas don't know what to mean and what is the experiential learning that realizes that and what is it to live a precious human life in a way

[54:47]

that brings that into being day after day, moment after moment. So this first couple of sentences, it just opens up a vast request. From our habituated, small habituated way, we're standing on a precipice looking at this the vastness of all existence. Take a step off into that. That's the offering of these first couple of centuries. Jiaozhiu expresses sustained practice in this way. You should know that to not speak for five or ten years may have the appearance of being of the merit of not leaving the monastery.

[55:55]

Not speaking is not the same as being speechless. So then Dogen's saying, let me offer you a few clues about this. Let me offer you some associated engagements that might help spark, stimulate this kind of involvement. Not speaking may have the appearance of being speechless. What do you make of that once you get in that? It's what Vince says got to do with intention. Not leaving the monastery is the intention to not leave the monastery. But here he's talking about not speaking for five years may have the appearance of being speechless. Yes. Yes. So, I mean, a person could be a mute. And we don't say, oh, what wonderful practice. You have no tongue.

[56:56]

It has nothing to do with their intention. If you choose not to speak, that's the merit of not living the monastery. It's the merit of not living the monastery is your intention. What if we say that not speaking has nothing to do with whether or not words come out of your mind? Not speaking. Not speaking has nothing to do with whether or not words come out of your mouth. You know? You ever hear someone talk and they're just rattling away and you think, they're not saying anything, you know? This is just a replay of some old tape that they, when they go on automatic, they just sort of press that tape button and it plays itself. And then he sings, I'll get you in a minute, Larry. I like the way you put your hand up. It's the same thing.

[58:02]

The same thing? Yeah, it's the intention. So, of course, a person can just blather on because there's no attention there. They're not engaged. And then he's saying, what if you don't blather on? What if you're not just slathering on, well, let me just tell you what I think. This reminds me of such and such, or that, or here's my philosophy of existence, or whatever it is. What if that's cut off? He says, even if that's cut off, you know that that does not have the appearance of being speechless because of the merit of not leaving the monastery. Go for it, Larry.

[59:10]

Oh, well, go for that. Yes. By not speaking. I was thinking conversely that what if words are coming out of your mouth and you actually remain speechless? I didn't hear it. What if words are coming out of your mind and you're remaining speechless? Speechless is used here as a possible tool, right? Well, here's what Dogen's end you have to say about it. But because of the merit of not leaving the monastery, this kind of not speaking is not the same as being speechless.

[60:23]

Yes, Linda? I'm thinking of Thinking and not thinking and non-thinking. Like speeches in the realm of thoughts and ideas and duality. And then there's like stopping or not thinking, which might be like speechless. But there's something beyond both of them. to transcend both of those and go beyond, which could include both. It's free of both. It's not stuck in one or the other. Yeah. You might find yourself saying something that points to the absolute and then wonder, gee, did I just say that? Yeah. Right. It's kind of, well, if you, like you said, not leaving the monastery can be seen as remaining in the present moment.

[61:23]

And not speaking while you are in the present moment would be different than just not speaking while your mind was going crazy. Yes. Well, I was just thinking about, we used to do silence session here. The times that we did it, I remember just not speaking for a whole week, doing Sashim without speaking at all, and without hearing, chanting. It kind of changed the energy. And I think the sense of being present to the moment was even more heightened. just not using that for faculty. Yeah.

[62:26]

What about talking without speaking? What about, or as we call it in ,, we call it functional speech, the difference between just saying, where's the brook in the closet down the hall versus Well, how are you today? Is your sashim going well? What do you think? You think you're enlightened yet? By the way, where's the broom? It's like there's this not adding anything extra. Yeah, like the comments of mind. Yeah. So that brings us, I would say like this, that brings us into the territory. You know, not adding anything extra. But then there's something even more exactly. which is letting the moment, letting the engagement of the moment express itself. Yes?

[63:32]

It sort of brings up for me this idea of when you're really with somebody, there are some times when You just don't need to talk. You just are there together, having an experience together, and you don't need to talk about it. It just is what it is. And is that sort of what he's pointing at here? Is this that it's such an intimate moment and such an intrinsic moment. that you just aren't. But part of what he's saying is, you don't need to talk and something's expressed. And then he says something else for the done.

[64:38]

You don't need to talk and something is expressed. And so is . I was going to say that, I mean, Speaking is so loaded because, first of all, we're doing it. And second of all, it's such a huge part of thinking and interacting. If you instead use the analogy of walking, then when you're really engaged in walking, you're not going, Or maybe most people are just walking. And they do it beautifully. And when there's a rock, they step over the rock beautifully without having to work very hard at it. And because it's just something natural that you do with your body. And you do what's called for when something's called for.

[65:47]

go through life not speaking is to treat speaking like walking. Yeah. Treat speaking like walking. Like when you, the process of learning to walk is experiential learning. So when you walk, as she was always saying, it's not like your mind's going, OK, now I lift, flex these muscles so your leg lifts up and moves forward and flex your foot and swings your weight. You know, all that has become part of experiential learning and naturally expresses itself without speaking. This kind of being. It's really related to what I was feeling then, which was that if we take speech to mean sort of extra stuff, And if there's another word we could use for things we would do through language that enact right speech.

[66:56]

Right speech is the expression of the kai, the awakened mind. There's a natural behavior of an awakened person, right speech. And if somehow, I just was entertaining reading this as not only pointing to just literally not speaking, but engaging in a practice of speaking skillfully, speaking in a way that's consistent with right speech for five or 10 years. I mean, not speaking really helps you notice the quality of your speech. And so it's, as Zach was saying, the natural behavior of a human being in emotions. the natural speech of an awakened mind, that that follows. And so it feels like there's something in there, too. I mean, it feels like with all of this, it's like, OK, how do I practice with this text?

[68:04]

And for me, it points to something like an ongoing experiment of, OK, what if I don't just sit here and triangulate in this conversation? Yes, I'm not. I'm not going to take a vow, I'm not speaking for five years, but what if I really embrace really trying to really working with right speech, like what happened? So if you think about it in our practice, there are times, you know, every teaching activates in each tracaya, each of the tracayas, you know, so the first one is literal, you know, so not speaking means not speaking, it means silence. Like during a one-day sushin, a seven-day sushin, we don't talk. Then there is the dharma. What's the dharma of not speaking? What's the dharma of no internal commentary or no added meditation to the experience? And then, as we'll see as this teaching goes on,

[69:11]

And on. We'll see, it's going beyond. It's like to use Zachary's notion of our image of walking at some point. It goes beyond doing this or not doing this. happens. So this is the literal. Don't speak means keep your mouth shut and don't speak. It means the Dharma, the inner workings, the process of not speaking, it means don't have this internal dialogue that's constantly got to have something to say about what's happening. I mean there's something of a something more than either of those, which is just being so present in the moment, as Suzuki Voshi says, and there's no need to speak and there's no need not to speak.

[70:26]

There is no fixed formula. This is about liberation. It's not about should or should not. We're going to get 20 minutes to get completely enlightened. But since we're all ready, don't worry. You should know that not to speak for five or 10 years may have the appearance of being speechless, but because of the merit of not leaving the monastery. When that sense of presence And we're not just meeting the moment as it is. It is experiencing directly the nature of what is. And to let that be fully felt and experienced, that's the hammer striking the veil of emptiness that resigns throughout the universe.

[71:36]

The intimate involvement in all being, that's fully dynamic working. To just think that's some kind of muted state or something suppressed or held back or made silent is missing the point. It's the power of not leaving the moment that makes it dynamically all inclusive. The Buddha way is like this. This isn't what it is to follow the path of being with. One who is capable of speaking but doesn't speak is not like an ordinary person who has not heard the voice of the way. OK, so that's pretty straightforward, right? This is different.

[72:37]

experience just this is beyond words that's different from someone who's confused and thinking beats me I don't know what's going on this unsurpassable continuous practice is not leaving the monastery so the catalyst The initiation is staying present in the world. Not leaving the monastery is total speech that is dropping off. So he takes it and he turns it from not speaking to saying it's total speech. It's completely expressing what is. Because it's fully engaged in it. It's not explaining, it's expressing.

[73:49]

Not restricted in terms of concepts and ideas. It's fully manifesting. It's total. It's not partial or limited. And it's dropping off. It's not something to cling to. It's not something to grasp. It's not something like saying, OK, here's the idea that you should cling to. And then say, OK, now I have it. And anybody who doesn't have this idea is wrong or less or clinging to some stupid wrong idea. the very nature of this engagement of this total speech is non-clean because the moment is impermanent the earthquake ripples through us and we are earthquake and the whole world is involved and then the next moment

[75:12]

Most people do not know nor speak of going beyond speechless. So this is intrinsic in our nature. This is intrinsic in every moment. We are completely endowed and capable of this, but it's not that common. The impulse to qualify to limit the commentary on the nature of what is, it obscures this obvious and complete way of being. Nobody keeps them. No one keeps them from speaking of it. But nonetheless, they don't speak of it. They do not discover or understand that to go beyond speechless is to express thus how regrettable and here's my comment indeed regrettable but still not hopeless because

[76:44]

Even when we can interject some degree of experience, even we can interject for even a moment, that's a moment of liberation. That's a moment of dropping off all the clinging and agitation that we usually insist upon. And even when we can drop it to some degree, it offers us experiential learning. It offers us a glimpse of what's possible. It offers us a pointer. It offers us a reference. We can contrast it to pointing more determinedly and desperately to all the stuff that we're speaking to ourselves all the time.

[77:54]

So I would suggest to you a moment of pause to interject to write your day, one way or another. whether you say to yourself, in this moment, I'm going to let the complete sensorium of all the senses register as fully and completely as possible. In this moment, I'm going to fully attend to the weight, the shape, the color, the heat, the taste of this cup of tea. Even this is not leaving the monastery.

[79:00]

You don't leave the monastery. You don't not leave the monastery for a lifetime. You not leave the monastery for a moment. How many of those moments can you interject in a day? Probably. Try it on and see. Do those moments have to be some exalted state? No. It can be any state. That's what continuous practice is. It can be just having some guy on a muni yell at you. How's this? Am I getting aggressive? Am I getting frightened? What's happening? Even though the Buddhists don't know what to make of it, still we can approach it in this way.

[80:06]

Just this moment, just one moment. Maybe it would be wonderful, or maybe it would be awful if we had earthquakes every 20 minutes, you know, wake us up. all sorts of interesting moments all the time so yes it is regrettable we are not stringing these moments together in unbroken sequence however when they do occur they are blessed They point the way. They illuminate the way. They offer a release. So then.

[81:08]

That's my speech for the evening. Quietly engage in the sustained practice of not leaving the monastery. Do not be swayed east or west by the winds of east and west. spring bereaved at the autumn moon of five or ten years unbeknownst to us at the reign of emancipation beyond sound and forth something about savoring one of the great gifts of a moment of pause is you can savor the moment just as it is you can savor the light of a cloudy autumn day in San Francisco not because it's fantastic or special just because there it is

[82:32]

It is kind of fantastic and special. The spring breeze and the autumn moon of five or ten years unbeknownst to us have the ring of emancipation beyond signed and formed. Whether we get it or not, whether we have our moments of connectedness be determinedly back in the busyness, stressing about this and feeling anxious about that. That moment of connectedness offers our life its own blessing, its own support, its own expression of emancipation. Can I ask something?

[83:33]

Yes. When I hear that, what I hear is that emancipation is going on constantly, whether we know it or not. Direct experiencing is going on constantly. with the translation using the word emancipation, because there's something about realization that sets the stage for the direct experiencing to be actualized. As Dogen said earlier in his classical, then when it's contacted, when it's engaged, But it's actualized, then liberation.

[84:37]

And then it's a circle. And it's all spontaneous in the moment. So I guess when I hear him say emancipation, or when I hear that word emancipation, what I think is the, I think about the part in, is it where he says, The Dharma vehicle is free and untrammeled. The Dharma vehicle is free and untrammeled. What need is there for concentrated effort? That's right. That's what the man said. This voice is not known to the self, not understood by the self. There's a way in which The way, the expression, the full engagement is beyond knowing. It's beyond being figured out. That's the efficacy of not speaking.

[85:42]

Because speaking is about insisting on knowing, insisting on having a description, a story about it. This voice, this direct expression of existence, is not known to the Self, is not understood by the Self. Learn to treasure each moment of sustained practice. Do not assume that not to speak is useless. If you consider that all the time we're endeavoring to live this life, this precious life. We're endeavoring to discover and be happy. We're endeavoring to discover what it is to be content, satisfied, intimate, loved, whatever it is, whatever formulation we have about it, we're endeavoring to discover it and to actualize it.

[86:45]

And that's what we're endeavoring to do. And that's this moment of sustained practice offers us a pristine example of what it is to be that way it's a treasure completely it's a treasure because it responds to our deep expression of our life our deep wish for our life and it's a treasure because it's such a beautiful teaching You want to learn how to do this? Here's a lesson. To learn to treasure each moment of sustained practice. Do not assume that not to speak is useless.

[87:49]

It is entering the monastery, leaving the monastery. what it is to spend a lifetime in the monastery. Did you say mimic? Limit. Don't limit it. Don't put it in some narrow box, small box, and go, well, that's it. It always works like this. It's entering the monastery. It's leaving the monastery. It's the bird's path in the forest. The entire world is a forest. The homework is to pause, to favor, to experience the undone

[89:00]

never stop being yourself and to both pause in the stream of the momentum of habitual being with all its wonderful amazing agendas Don't frighten yourself to death saying, I'm going to stop the whole thing forever. Just say, I'm just going to pause for a moment. And then do it in all sorts of quirky, unreasonable, unexpected circumstances. And when it occurs to you, right now I'm extremely busy and I don't have a moment It's a good time to do it.

[90:08]

And just to savor what it is to be extremely busy without a moment. Just savor this human life. In the early speakers it says, it's as rare as dirt on the back of your fingernail. what it says in the other circuits. Not underneath the thing that's on the back. It either works here or it doesn't. So a moment of pause. And savoring and appreciating what arises. And to do it in all sorts of unreasonable and unusual, as well as usual circumstances. Then something about letting things impact you, something about letting them register and letting that impact have its own voice, have its way.

[91:29]

As if in that moment You were in some kind of no play. Here's this amazing piece of a theater of life playing itself. Except I don't know what my script is. So it'll just have to be spontaneous. this way of being that we invite ourselves into the curiosity of existence let it let it be expressed so we're sitting here

[92:37]

Who knows what that earthquake created? And in a moment or two, we'll go out and discover. And what will we do? Cry, laugh, be right. some way we can do all that and feel like and none of it is leaving the monastery because the monastery is the forest the monastery is the whole universe

[93:24]

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