This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. And good morning to everybody who is online today. This is the first day of a three-day sitting in stillness in the heart of the city. Can you hear me? No? Should we make it a little louder? Would that help? Yes. Is it better? So please raise your hands and say something if my voice goes down and you can't hear. even though I actually want to encourage you not to listen with your mind to my talk, but with your body.

[01:06]

Think of your body as earth and my words like rain. And trust the energy that comes with the words, if it... enters your body, if it touches some seeds there like rain, it will nurture them. If you listen with your mind, you will go, do I agree with that? Do I not agree with that? What does it mean? I get totally derailed because that mind is not the mind that helps us wake up. There are different ways our mind is functioning. So did you hear this? You did? You understood? I mean, you can hear the words? Okay. It's important because this is a practice period that focuses on the capacity of our body to be awake.

[02:13]

So this morning we had ample opportunities for critical mind to arise. And maybe you go back a little and see, because there was a lot of opportunities, different places for self-critical mind, critical mind of others to arise. And so we have always the possibility to go with the flow like a river that doesn't mind when there's a rock in the middle and suddenly it splashes or there's an eddy on the side. It just keeps being a river. It doesn't get stopped and says, why is this rock here? Shouldn't be here or it's in my way. So we have the same capacity and opportunity.

[03:17]

And I want to talk about this today, because we're all in the stage of settling down, of arriving, arriving in our own life, in this body we have, this body that told me after Sazen this morning, despite what I had anticipated that I should be sitting in a chair for the talk and not on my bench. So an eddy got created because the bench, everything was ready for the bench and had to be removed and this has to be set up for me. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just an eddy. It's just a little variation And so settling down is very important.

[04:27]

And what is very important and helps settling down is that we keep relating to whatever it is that arises in our consciousness that gets past all the barriers and we become aware of with a kind and gentle heart, with a kind and gentle mind. And it's very interesting in Japanese calligraphy, in kanji, heart and mind are one character. There is no separation. So you can think of it as a gentle mind or you can think of it as a gentle heart. They belong together. In our culture, there are all these divisions that make it a little harder. And with a tolerant mind that is willing to suspend critique or judgment,

[05:34]

To just be with what's happening, that's tolerance. Patience to a patient mind, a patient heart that gives things time. Whatever arises has its own time, its own speed. Can we allow it? Can we allow to give that? with an open heart, which means also an open heart, if it's closed, have an open heart to the closed heart. You feel it's closed. Have an open heart to pain, even if it creates a tension. And really, when you notice that you have a critical mind or a worrying mind, to just leave it be and come back to your body.

[06:47]

So your body is the anchor that will help you settle down. So there was once a movie that I watched, and it's called Bridge of Spice. and it has Tom Hanks in it and another British actor, which is really a famous theatre actor. And Tom Hanks was the lawyer and his task was to make a deal, I think, with the Russians to have an exchange of spies and make sure that this spy didn't get killed on the other side of the border. So from time to time he would get really worried and say to the spy, are you worried? And what was fabulous about this movie, each time the spy said, would it help? Would it help?

[07:49]

Are you worried? And the spy said, would it help? Of course, it wouldn't help. And each time he said that, he said that with a little different inflection, so it always just hit you that it really wouldn't help. It was just immediately clear when you watched the movie that you could understand why the lawyer would ask, and you could totally see that this person had understood that worrying is not helping. It actually is creating more suffering, more distress. So when you get caught today in something, a feeling or a thought or a story, you can ask yourself, is it helping? And if you say yes, what is it helping? And then you have a choice what to do. You can abandon it, you can just let go of it, or you can pursue it if you feel like it's helping.

[08:52]

But I really would encourage you for today, just practice what we could possibly call witnessing, which is letting things be, giving them their time. Feelings, if we don't do anything with them, have a lifespan physiologically, energetically, have a lifespan of 90 seconds. So if we are witnessing a feeling come up and let it be, not grasp it, not meddle with it, not worry it, not attach a story to it, oh, it was because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then this is going to happen, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If we don't do that, if we just feel the feeling, feel its energy, be curious if it has a location in your body and how your body is responding to that feeling.

[10:09]

And just let all that be, not... bringing it should be like that, I don't like it, I want it, I like it, I want to keep it, is witnessing. Webb Anderson used to say, the best you help somebody and the best we help ourselves also is by standing close and doing nothing. Stay close and do nothing. No action is required. Attention is required, but no action. And we can practice this today so we all can settle down deeper and deeper into the being we are, not who we think we are. Each of us created an idea of ourselves growing up.

[11:13]

based on the experiences we had in the womb, when we were born, when we were toddlers. And we, with a very undeveloped mind, out of this experience at age six, we have a very firm picture of who we are, what's good about ourselves, and what's bad. It's an end. That picture is what we try to maintain because it is what gives us a sense of self, even if it's a painful sense of self. So I had a wonderful experience when I was at Green Gulch doing my first three-month retreat with Charlotte Selver in sensory awareness, which she offered at Green Gulch Forum. And we had these meetings with her in the Wheelwright Center.

[12:16]

And it was a morning I was thoroughly pissed off about something. I mean, I was so mad. And I went into the room because the meeting started and she presented an experiment. She called everything an experiment. She never said an exercise because exercise is repetitious. And experiment is like each moment is a new moment. And that was so clear to her, so it was experiment. So she presented the experiment, and I stood there. And for some reason, you know, I've been sitting Zazen, because it was at Zen Center, made me come so far, the combination of the two. I've heard the teachings many times. I stand there and I realize if I actually engage that experiment, it will lead to an experience, which will lead to a next experience, which will lead to a follow-up experience, which will lead to another experience, and so on endlessly, and there will be no space

[13:43]

for my pissed off mind. And something in me, like an animal, turned around and hung on with all four paws at this pissed off feeling because that's who I was. And I would lose that sense of who I was if I was just one experience after one experience after the next experience after the next one. that was so profound, and it was happening in my body. It wasn't happening in my mind. So that reaction and that holding on. So we all carry an image of ourselves that imprisons us. So we have a chance in these three days to just relax, to just keep relaxing.

[14:44]

to just leave things be. If an irritation comes up, let it be. Just don't identify with it. If a sadness comes up, let it be. Don't identify with it. So in Buddhism, the words for it is, a feeling is arising or a feeling has arisen. It's not I am sad. That's an identifying statement. But sadness has arisen. Tears are flowing. Anger has arisen. It sounds a little complicated, but it really points to what actually is happening. And we do not need to identify with it. So Buddhist meditation has two aspects to it.

[15:48]

One aspect is shamatha, call me, and the second aspect is vipassana, insight. And shamatha is fundamental for vipassana to be possible. So what we're doing, what I suggest we do today, at least, maybe also tomorrow, I'll see how it goes, but to practice shamatha, call me. And for shamatha, it has three aspects that belong to call me. One is stopping. recognizing what's going on. For that, we have to stop. So when our mind has wandered, we stop and bring it back to the breath.

[16:59]

And then if a feeling has arisen, we recognize sadness is here, or anger is here, or boredom is here. or agitation or excitement is here, whatever is here, we recognize and acknowledge it. That is already calming, that capacity to know what's here at the moment and recognize and acknowledge it. Then comes the calming that is, if you have a very strong feeling and you have recognized it and acknowledged it, Thich Nhat Hanh has a beautiful picture. He says, you put your kind arms around it. You wrap it in mindfulness.

[18:02]

You wrap it in kindness, like you hold a baby, a distressed baby. a wild baby, overexcited with happiness, whatever it is, you just put your arms around it and hold it. You don't meddle really with it, but you say, I'm here, I feel that something's going on, and I'm just here with you. And the breath really helps with that. So to help, that's also calming when we get agitated by a feeling or a thought process or a story, when we calm that down. And then the third one is resting. That belongs to shamatha and is very important, and that's something that basically doesn't exist in this culture.

[19:08]

It's like you're a lazy bum if you rest. You have to always be productive or do something to feel good. So if you think of a pebble that falls into the water, how that sinks down and finds its place at the bottom of the river, for example, and just sits there and occasionally gets moved by another stone or something, but that sinking down, that resting at the bottom is an image you can use of can you rest in the middle of your experience? Can you be relaxed in the middle of it? And sometimes we can, but just thinking about

[20:10]

possibility of it helps. So I have another example. Once I went to see my teacher and I was totally, I can't remember what it was, but it was unbearable. It seemed unbearable to me. And I went and I told him and his question was, can you relax in the midst of it? And just that question placed my experience in a room in which relaxation is a possibility. And it didn't matter whether I was capable or not, but to suddenly have the understanding that the possibility of being relaxed in the middle of this awful, awful whatever it was, changed its effect on me. because I didn't struggle with it anymore.

[21:15]

It was there, but the possibility of being relaxed with it never occurred to me before, till he said that, asked that question. And that changed how it affected me and my body. So recognizing what presents itself to you and really understand that it just presents itself to you. It's not you caused it or you did it or you shouldn't do it. It just presents itself to you in your city. So just recognizing what presents itself to you. Then, acceptance. What has presented itself is here.

[22:16]

So, do not deny it, do not push it away, do not argue with it, do not wish or fight with it. Just accept that it's here. that is already relaxing in the midst of it. Because all the other things are efforting and are causing, actually feeding it rather than helping it. And you can ask yourself, is it help? If you notice that you're sitting there struggling with something, you can ask yourself, does it help? And then look of, does it make my body more relaxed, more present or is it creating more stress? So you will get answers. Also, nobody can teach you the truth.

[23:19]

The truth is in you and your being knows it. Our being is completely free, not free to express itself because we have all these ideas about ourselves that create like a filter what we allow through that fits and does fit, but it's there. So if you practice shamatha, your confidence in yourself, in your capacity of finding your way, will grow. And mindfulness mindful to turning our attention with gentleness and kindness to whatever the experience is in the moment is a very powerful energy that always has calming effect and clarifying effect.

[24:26]

And we need that energy of mindfulness to recognize and be present with usually what gets activated, or habit energies, or old habits. So then the third one is resting, because our body and mind have the capacity to heal themselves. So if something has come up that has upset our calmness, has upset our relaxation, has upset our feelings, our heart, our mind, if we can just give it a rest, if we can return just to the breath, and feel it in our body, feel how much movement it creates, how it's coming in, how it's going out.

[25:37]

It's resting and healing. And in our break time, rest. So if you have a hot water bottle, go use it. Whatever helps you to really rest. So there is a beautiful poem by Donna Foltz, which goes, when I can be the witness, all manner of miracles occur. Old wounds heal, the past reveals itself to be released. Present dramas play themselves out without sinking emotional talents. into my soft skin. The witness welcomes truth and dares to meet reality on its own terms, giving it its time, giving it its space.

[26:47]

It is the ground in which the seeds of transformation take root and finally flower. When the witness is awake, the lake of mind is still. And in that mirrored surface, I see my own true face as spirit smiling back at me. When I can be the witness, all manner of miracles occur. All the wounds heal. The past reveals itself to be released. Present dramas play themselves out without sinking emotional talents into my soft skin. The witness welcomes truth and dares to meet reality on its own terms.

[27:50]

It is the ground in which the seeds of transformation take root and finally flower. When the witness is awake, the lake of mind is still. And in that mirrored surface, I see my own true face, a spirit smiling back at me. So this is a text from Doc Chen. That's a Tibetan tradition that's very close to the Zen tradition. And it's called Maha'ati, the Great Perfection. And every morning we chant to the Great Perfection. So one part, just reading a few sentences.

[28:56]

All aspects of... every phenomena are completely clear and lucid. The whole universe is open and unobstructed, everything mutually interpenetrating. Since all things are naked, clear, and free from obscurations, there is nothing to attain or realize. Isn't that wonderful? Can you feel what that does to your body when you hear it? We can just relax. We can just be just the way it is right now. The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness

[29:58]

to all situations and emotions and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages so that one never withdraws or centralizes onto oneself." That I find also really wonderful because all those mental reservations we come up with when we see or hear something are kind of centralized on ourselves and closing us down. So the everyday practice is simply, it's not so simple, but that's the instruction, to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions and to all people

[30:58]

experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages so that one never withdraws or centralizes onto oneself. This produces a tremendous energy which is usually locked up in the process of mental evasion and generally running away from life experiences. So I will come back to this text and I will read that the whole universe is open and unobstructed, everything mutually interpenetrating. Since all things are naked, clear and free from obscurations, there is nothing to attain or realize.

[32:04]

So I would like to encourage all of us to take advantage of this day where there is, besides the Dharma talk today, there's no talking. There will be also almost no talking tomorrow and after tomorrow. So we keep practicing stillness and noble silence. But to really practice that stance of being there doing nothing, letting things be, let them be, not meddling with them, not holding on to them, not spinning stories around them. Or when you notice that you're doing those things, just return to your body. And the best way to return to your body is to feel its posture, to feel your breath,

[33:22]

come back to where you are, because your life is not happening anywhere else than where your body is. So just come back to the here and now. And if we do that, then we build the foundation, so then we can start looking deeply if there's a problem, a persistent situation, then we can look at it when we have created a calmness and a stability. And if we do that before we have calmness and stability, we just add further to it, and we don't understand it more deeply. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma.

[34:25]

For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[34:33]

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