If you have come out to hear the Dharma on an evening, on a kind of nice spring evening, I think the title of this talk is Pentimento. Pentimento is an artistic term, which is from the early 20th century. Crib sheets. Pentimento, a visible trace of earlier painting beneath the layer or layers of paint on a canvas. fourth century Italian and its literal meaning is repentance or repentance.

[01:07]

This concept has been very fertile for me and I immediately thought of all the traces of lectures that are in this room and the all the lectures you've heard and I've heard and all the what's left over from them. You can still hear them in here. And it's kind of built on. And I kind of wanted to make a connection between a series of lectures that Dickie and I did last practice period and that than the topic of this practice period, where there's some traces of both in each other. So we talked about kindness and compassion, and as you know, this practice period is about the paramitas.

[02:29]

So when gave his last lecture at Berkeley. He was looking back in a pentimental sort of way at what he taught about Buddhism. What was the most important thing about Buddhism? And he said, the frustrating thing to some people about the Buddhist tradition is that at every level, Whenever we define it, we have already lost it. It is like the permanent solution in the computer world. It is never there. The minute we have something, all we have is that thing, not the ultimate expression.

[03:33]

I asked myself how people can know that they are Buddhists. Most of the article was talking about different definitions of what Buddhist was. The one thing that all forms of Buddhism hold as the highest ideal in every tradition is compassion. That seems to be as close to a universal answer as I can find. Buddhists, when they talk about compassion, say that if you are enlightened, you will have a deeper response to the suffering of others. If it decides to not lead to compassion, And it's not what the Buddha experienced that has enlightenment. This view makes an enormous difference. And of course the paramitas are expressions of compassion. The first paramita of giving.

[04:40]

What's more compassionate than just giving? Letting go of or holding on to yourself. We come into this world with nothing and we leave it with nothing. All that's in between is giving. We're holding on for some combination of the such. And then the resonance of pentamento with the second paramita, which is sila or conduct. It's really meaning is repentance or looking at our life and looking at what we would like to do over. What fragments of our life we would like to do over.

[05:55]

And I think that's the beginning of practice. It's when we realize, oh my gosh, I'm in deep water here. I need help. I need to change my life. Very pardon me, I'll just do three tonight. Forbearance or patience. Temple Rinpoche was once asked what the Buddhist term for grace was. He said patience. Patience isn't something you do until a good thing comes along. patience and self is it. I was in New York, I gave a lecture, a little bit on some of the lectures that were given on compassion and kindness in the poem, Why I am not a painter.

[07:20]

by Frank O'Hara. And somebody I know who was there, who was at my lecture, wrote to me a couple of days later and told me about the term pentimento. Richie mentioned that he had been at an exhibit where it was pointed out, but things that were in the painting, and were in the painting when it was first exhibited, and then it was later painted out when it was later exhibited, because he kept painting. And he wrote, I've always loved the way in which Tsukiroshi's presented. The teachings with a patina of practicality.

[08:40]

And I guess the profound spiritual truths are in fact practical matters. As a case that is made from discarded cloth. So a meal is made from discarded vegetables. Thank you for sharing Frank O'Hara on Mike Goldberg's sardines in your talk. After a beautiful day in New York on Saturday, including the Corbex at the Met, I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge. There's so many echoes of other talks and other teachings that come up. At Tassajara, I was, again, a little bit of this, part of this lecture.

[09:49]

And I was going to read the Frank O'Hara poem, but I couldn't find it at Tassajara. So I decided to write it from memory. And I think I got pretty close. It's a little bit like the Borges story he wrote about how a 20th century writer decided that he was going to write Don Quixote word for word. And he wound up doing it. but he realized that it had a whole different meaning that he, a 20th century writer, had written it. This, Berndt was saying that this was a loose ends of text, of texts. But it's the contextual world we live in.

[10:54]

The paramitas mean a lot when we see them from compassion. And compassion means a lot when we see it from the paramitas. But we need to do one practice period and think, oh, it's only compassion. Oh, it's only the paramitas. These are all traces that create a rich texture. Just as patience can be looked at as grace.

[11:55]

Compassion can be looked at as giving. To meet each other with an open heart. Not denying the problems we have with each other. or the different ideas we have. But we're seeing it all in the background of compassion. Do we all need all the help we can get? Do we all see different traces in our world? the pictures that we paint at different times.

[13:15]

There are different things in it. visual trace of earlier painting beneath a layer or layers of paint on a canvas. An auditory trace of earlier talks beneath waves of sound in a room. If we open ourselves to this changing picture or sound or reality or presence.

[14:19]

It's rather amazing. We don't get caught so much by fixed views. And after all, that's why we live together. To not get caught by our fixed views or others' fixed views. But to share our life together. It's why sangha is definitely a big and underrated jewel. Buddha's pretty good. Dharma's pretty good. But Sangha's also pretty good. In some ways, it's the most frustrating because we have to live with each other.

[15:30]

Because we learn the most. If we have problem with somebody else, it can help us understand how somebody else might have a problem with us. And when we get too goal-oriented or we want to accomplish something, Living with each other is a big accomplishment too. I was talking to someone this morning who was concerned that she was adrift. She didn't have any, there weren't goals that she was working on, accomplishments she was getting.

[16:42]

And she's a little bit of a type A personality. So it was quite good for her. Frustrating as hell, but I had a feeling that she was getting down to things that she always was looking for something else to work on. Some of you may know that when you think your practice is not working, You're looking in the wrong place. You're looking at the place which you think your practice is. Perhaps. The thing about the Sangha is there are people who are more developed than we are, more years of training.

[18:00]

That's not necessarily the same thing. It's often connected. And people who are younger than we are and less developed, not necessarily connected. And I find in the sangha that people learn from their teachers, but even more they learn from people who are just a little bit, came a little bit before they came. We learn a lot from our peers or people who are just a little bit more than our peers. Or more than our peers. Am I talking loud enough? Okay. And we can learn from anyone.

[19:06]

We can be taught by anyone if we listen, if we are alert. If we're awake. Because it's so easy to fall into our habits. And. Many of you may be discouraged when you see. Your teachers or your older students falling into their habits. But I do have the secret to tell you. They're much quicker at learning about their habits than they were before. That may not be too encouraging. That's how I know that maybe I've changed a little when I see how my peers have changed. So to look at the paramitas is a great subject for a practice career.

[20:27]

To look at giving. Look at how you conduct yourself, what precepts you follow when you fall into a bad habit. Having patience. And I think Jordan is a really good person to teach it to. He's got such enthusiasm and energy. That a lot can be learned. time I get sort of discouraged is when I feel like we don't treat each other as well as we might.

[21:40]

And I think we all have that tendency at times. Maybe there's time for one or two questions, not a lot. Can you recite that poem? That's very good of you. Well, it feels something like, well, I am not a painter.

[22:52]

I'm a poet. I think I'd rather be a painter. But I visit Mike Goldberg. He's painting. I sit down. He says, have a drink. I sit down, look at the painting. It's got sardines in it. Yeah, it needed something, Mike says. I come back later. I sit down. We talk. I sit down. I get up. I come back. What happened to the sardines? There's nothing there but letters. That was too much. For me, I'm writing a poem about orange. how horrible orange is in life. It turns out to be 15 poems called Orange.

[23:52]

I haven't written the word orange in it once. And I go to Mike's gallery and there is a painting called Sardines. Barbara, I'll get you the real poem. Yes. You can't be too sure. You can't be too sure.

[24:56]

Maybe you have to find out for yourself. I'm not telling you for yourself. One more, three is a charm. Thank you.

[25:46]

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