I propose to you, and maybe you want to pick your sitting cushions, get your sitting cushions back, so we can sit comfortably. Okay, we are going into the second part of our afternoon. later in a few minutes about what is called the . There will be literature on the program that you are looking to with about that.

[01:06]

And waking up is another name for this program, the path of waking up. And on the path of waking up, everything absolutely Everything is fodder for our class. So we receive emails that are praising us and we receive emails criticizing us. And we really appreciate your feedback. We spend time looking at it and thinking about it and, you know, taking it in and trying to incorporate it to the degree we plan. Also, what we're talking about today is that we have an opportunity. Everybody signed up for this workshop with some reason that they told themselves that made sense to sign up.

[02:11]

And I assume, I mean, that's an assumption. I know it's an assumption. is that everybody has some expectation or some longing for freedom, for some kind of freedom in that reason or in that impulse or in that energy to plan out for this program. And then we come here and need what is, which may or may not fit what we expected. So we have reactions. We have reactions when it fits, and we have reactions when it doesn't fit. We have reactions when we like it, and we have reactions when we don't like it, and we even have a reaction when it fits in either. We don't like that either, because that's so close to boring that we really feel involved in one of the two categories.

[03:18]

What's the name? Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield in their book, Seeking the Heart of Wisdom, say something a little bit changed. But to understand the nature of happiness is thorough. To find freedom in our life, we have to be willing to face, to investigate, to inquire into all realms of our view. Our journey, our practice through all the realms of our mind is to learn a kind of mind control, he said, but it's not restricted mind control. Another way to say is to become intimate with the realms of our mind, to learn the ability to stay present, open, and balanced to all experiences of life. And Pema Charyung puts it another way, he said, She says the same thing, but what she emphasized is that it's very important that there is kindness in this learning to be with what is happening.

[04:33]

Be something that we perceive outside or be something that is happening inside in our thinking, in our feeling, in our body. She says, learning to be kind to ourselves Learning how to respect ourselves is important. The reason it's important is that fundamentally, when we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn't just ourselves that we're discovering. We are discovering the universe. So we will, over and over in this course, we will kind of invite you to use your feelings, your thinking, your reactions as a way of learning about yourself.

[05:38]

Becoming awake, becoming aware of what's happening and to understand that it's my reaction. I might think it's out there, the great thing, or the bad thing, or the non-descripting thing, but actually the way I perceive it is here. I would like to read you two wonderful poems that I have these, if I can pertain to it. It's a little bit different poem. One is called There. There I bow my head at the feet of every creature, which could be a thought, an idea, a judgment, a feeling, this constant submission and homage of kissing God all over. Someday every lover will do.

[06:40]

Only there I prostrate myself against the beauty of each form. So, and then we say, you know, non-discriminating mind shows really bring a radical respect to everything. For when I drain my heart close to any object, I always hear the friend say, I'll feed on and do it. And another poem right up here says, Rose, the title is, and love says, and love says, I will, I will take care of you to everything you hear, everything that's perceived. I will, I will take care of you.

[07:40]

So as we move into the five influences, as they are called in Buddhism, which are dispositions, reactions to what we perceive. I thought this would be a knife, an important classic, to do this with kindness, with love, and understanding that it's the way of understanding ourselves, which are the ways to understand the whole universe. Thank you. our traditional way of being. Something happens, and you've got something to say about it. And now you have something to say about it in the way that you say things. And the way you say things links into your psychology, your personality. This list that I'm going to go through offers us both a way to note, and equally important as noting

[08:48]

our response, it's maybe not the way we would choose to say it, but we would usually say it in the context of our own psychology. So it offers us a way to reference without getting pulled into our own usual psychological response, which is going to make it both maybe difficult, because this is not how you even think about these things. So then in another way, it offers us a way to come back to this more matter-of-fact kind of response. Oh, that's a feeling that's happening. And then when you put it in this context, hopefully, then we don't add in, and therefore, I'm a bad person. Or somebody else is a bad person. This is not being explained very well. Oh, I'm a silly person because I don't get the message. So that's one of the functions of coming through a list ointment.

[09:57]

And then another of the functions of coming through a list is that it offers maybe a more extensive range than our usual pension would do. Well, now let me see. That teaching says, the spite of it is, which one would I categorize this? Well, maybe a weak job, but maybe it fits them all. Maybe I go, resisting this, wanting something that isn't there, a little restless, a little bored, and a little disappointed. Maybe they're all flavors, they're all in there. So it also gives us a way to explore a story as possible. For a long time, in my own practice, I really didn't like this whispering. I thought, that's an incredibly negative way to think about practice. And so one of the things you have to watch for, is it not a new and improved way to keep yourself up?

[11:03]

That's not the problem. Isn't that a new and rudistically authorized way to feel bad at yourself? where you, indeed, cannot meditate or practice, that you're not a piece, that you're not rooting for the full potential of blossoming sleepless love. No, it's more helplessly that somehow in this mysterious and multiple process of being alive, we're always making our best effort And in the midst of that effort, sometimes we're grasping. Sometimes we're holding back. Sometimes we're just plain old confused. Sometimes there's a restlessness. Sometimes it's hard to trust. But what if I open up to the moment?

[12:05]

Maybe it'll hurt like hell. Maybe I won't be okay. So as best as you can, as you explore from this perspective of the hindrance of your own efforts with respect and appreciation. In some beautiful, mysterious way, this is my best effort of being alive. And this is everyone else's too. You know? As we talk about this in a group, you might think, wow, really? You're like that? We're all playing a rhyme with some version of it. Sometimes very obvious, and sometimes very subtle. And as best we can, can there be a trust or respect that provides that basis for the matter of fact?

[13:11]

Even when you notice a moment of selfishness, you don't forget you're all in deeps and thoroughly integrity and commitment. Even when you see you're all in restlessness. The more we develop awareness, the more we see the subtle movement and actions of our own being. Whether you wanted to go to this place, well, you know, at the existential point, it's all our fear of death. And then you explore that and we see little glimmers of fear pop up in all directions and all sorts of new directions. Awareness can bring that kind of experience forward, but can we hold it and run from it? Hmm.

[14:14]

As we hold our fear, we learn by courage. As we hold our confraction, we learn about expansion. As we hold our aversion, we learn about reach and idle connection. As we hold our restlessness, we learn about failure. As we hold our mistrust, we learn about trust being an open ear to be ever-changing and uncertainly nature. So the challenge for us is we start to notice the hindrances to move towards them as a teaching, rather than away from them. That's a point of failure. So please remember that the basis of this is respecting your own sincere efforts. And recognizing that maybe sometimes we don't quite understand it.

[15:17]

Why am I here, you know? Something looks serious about why we're all here. OK, so here they are. That's the intro. And the first one is grasping. I mean, having an experience in two words, once more of it, it's pleasant to bite fish. It affirms. Of course, it's unpleasant when you move away from it. They want to stop it. You yell at somebody, stop that. So that's the basic modality. We're moving towards, we're moving away. And then sometimes, we just want to shut down eternal living towards and moving away. But what if I just numb up? That would work.

[16:20]

I wouldn't be moving towards the middle of the way. You just want to like, turn on the radio, the TV, and... Oh, you're sitting. And then, you just want to like, say something. Let's just go. Then almost like the opposite of numbing out is when being overstimulated. Something reddened up, like that kind of breathlessness, that kind of agitation. And so that's the fourth one. So the third one would be that numbing out, or heaviness, or sloth, or basicness. And then the fourth one, the kind of restlessness, and education, and anxiety. And then the fifth point is how all that finds like a minefield.

[17:27]

How can I trust anything? How can I trust myself if I'm having all these experiences, you know? And then it's so bad. That kind of mistrust, you know? That's the kind of thing. It's like when you start to doubt everything. For me, this program's no good. Well, maybe I'm too critical. Well, maybe it's the wrong time. Well, of course, maybe. This isn't the perfect program. You're not the perfect person, and this is not the perfect program. But maybe it's good enough, and maybe you're good enough, and maybe this is no kind of time. Because that corrosive kind of diet. or hesitation, or mistrust, you know? So those are the four. Attraction or fire. Grasping, burden, numbing eyes, overactive, agitated, and the fifth one, the restful thing, sort of dug.

[18:41]

It's different from the restful, different from the agitation, just like diving or anything. wanted to escape or . OK.

[18:56]

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