I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. Good morning. So I just wanted to mention that Michael, the man who fainted this morning, appears to be okay. And he did go to the hospital to make sure that things are alright. So I just wanted to mention that Michael, the man who fainted this morning, appears to be okay. So I just wanted to mention that Michael, the man who fainted this morning, appears to be okay.

[01:10]

Ditsan asked Sueshan, where do you come from? Sueshan said, from the south. Ditsan said, how is Buddhism in the south these days? Sueshan said, there is extensive discussion. Ditsan said, how can that compare to me here, planting the fields and cooking rice to eat? Sueshan said, what can you do about the world? Ditsan said, what do you call the world? Ditsan said, what do you call the world? So today is May 13th of the year 2000, and I'm wondering what it is that we're all doing, sitting here frozen and silent.

[02:12]

I think we've all heard about the terrible things that are happening in this world, in the north and in the south, in the east and in the west, in the past, in the present, in the future. We've all heard that the air and the water and the ocean are poisoned, that plants, animals and humans are brutally dying, and even that the sky over our heads has an enormous hole in it. So why are we sitting here doing nothing? I once asked my teacher, is Zen fast enough?

[03:28]

And he smiled at me kindly and said nothing. When I was very young, I wanted to be a holy person, like Jesus. And I wanted to live what I imagined was a holy life. And then as I got older, I became more realistic, and I changed my wishes to mundane treasures, like a handsome husband and property in the country. But I also became disappointed and even angry when the world didn't give me everything that I wanted.

[04:32]

So it was pretty lucky for me that my dearest friend at the time suggested that I sit down and meditate. Quietly, and catch my breath. So at that time I was living way up in the mountains in Wyoming, which was as far as I could go from the disappointments of my young adulthood. And my friend was a bartender, and she heard that meditation was the way to eternal bliss. And we tried just about everything else, blue ones and green ones and white ones. So I was in enough pain at that time to do exactly what I was told.

[05:40]

So I sat down on the floor, with my hands palms up on my knees, and I closed my eyes, and I waited. After a long time, there was a sound. Kind of a scratching sound. And then my friend's dog, Shuba, came over and placed her big head in my lap, and she fell asleep. And I was, at that time, as I recall, utterly contented. So that was about 30 years ago of what I call the world.

[06:41]

Just this person. My friend, she's still up in the mountains, studying with the Tibetans. And Shuba passed away a long time ago. When Shakyamuni Buddha realized enlightenment on seeing the morning star, he said, I and all beings on earth together attain enlightenment at the same time. After that, he spent 49 years helping others by teaching, never staying in seclusion, with just one robe and one bowl, he lacked nothing. So it's taken over 2,500 years for this story of this man and his simple life and his teaching to reach just about every corner of the globe.

[07:48]

And Indra's net is now on the world wide web. So the word and the world, at least for the time being, are traveling around together. So how is Buddhism in the South these days? There is extensive discussion. I don't know if the world was a better place or not when the young prince departed in despair from the palace. I think like the rest of us, his pain came from a connection to his own senses, the experiences of his own young life that stunned him and darkened his childhood. When he was 14, he went to an organic farm festival

[08:58]

and he was... he was repulsed by the carnage that he saw from plowing the fields, all the animals that were killed and exposed to the predators. And the oxen who were wild eyed and driven by bull whips. So this young boy went and sat down under a tree, a rose apple tree, and quite by accident he slipped into a meditative trance. This trance was the foundation for the rediscovery of what he called an ancient trail that would lead from the darkness of ignorance to the bright light of a Buddha's wisdom. So I think we all heard that this young man then grew

[10:03]

very skillful and strong, became a young adult, he married, had a lovely wife named Yoshidara, and she gave birth to a son, Rahula, who had a face like the moon. So clearly, when he left this loved family, he was not yet a Buddha. But I think sometimes when I realize how much pain he was suffering, that I feel sympathy for his decision. And in the sutras it says that a cry broke from his throat at the gates of his beloved city when he turned his back, declaring that, I will not enter the city of Kapilavastu again until I have seen the other shore of birth and death.

[11:08]

He then severed the hair from his head with his sword and entered a life of voluntary poverty. It's possible that the Buddhist life story is historical, but it's not likely. But what it really is, is a model for us who are seeking some spiritual life or perhaps a spiritual quest and I think that we do need to leave home, you know, in whatever way that applies. Sometimes it's literally, and for some of us it's attitudinally. But as my kind therapist said to me years ago,

[12:13]

ships are quite safe in the harbor, but that's not what they are. That's not what they are built for. So this life in this body is brief and I believe that we are each called on to respond to the cries of the world both inside and outside of the imaginal boundaries of what we call our self. Just listening, that's Manjushri, the Buddha's wisdom. And just listening with affection is Avalokiteshvara, the Buddha's compassion. Some time ago I looked up the word meaning in the dictionary,

[13:17]

meaning as in what does life mean? And what it said was that meaning comes from an old Nordic tribal tradition and originally was the word to moan. What is your meaning? To cry out. So this last Sashin, all of us in this room at the time who were here were celebrating together the birth of some baby birds. There was a nest over by the Doksan room and each day Linda Ruth would give us a report of this happy event. As the mother bird sat on her eggs and then on her baby birds and we all sat in here and she took her breaks and we took our breaks and it was a very joyous thing

[14:17]

to be joined by this mother and her young. When Sashin ended and all the people had gone home the nest was found empty and upside down long before the babies could possibly have fledged. So the story wasn't complete without its ending. What is the meaning? Perfect wisdom is complete wisdom. The whole works. Birth is an expression, complete this moment. Death is an expression, complete this moment. So after he'd left home

[15:23]

the young prince spent quite a while wandering around and sleeping alone in the forests where he was quite frightened. Every sound he heard drove a deep spike of fear into his heart. So he finally headed to town to try and find some help and what he found there were large assemblies guided by teachers of bliss. These were jhana masters and so the young prince also mastered the jhanas, the trances and entered the highest states of bliss. But each time the bliss ended and he returned to mundane states of mind and existence the moaning of his life began again. So he thought this is not the way.

[16:27]

He next attempted to crush his mind with his mind. This is from the old wisdom suttas. As a strong man might seize a weaker by the head or shoulders and beat him down constrain him and crush him so I with my teeth clenched and my tongue pressed against the roof of my mouth I beat down, constrained and crushed my mind with my mind. Sweat ran from my armpits while I did so and then I tried suppressing my breath and the need for food and yet my body was simply overwrought and uncalm because I was exhausted by the painful effort. So having achieved no measure of relief from either the highest states of trance or from extremes of asceticism

[17:33]

he finally remembered the time under the rose apple tree when he was a child and he returned to a simple devotion to upright sitting accompanied by thinking and exploring with happiness and pleasure and then there came the realization that this was the way to enlightenment. So our sitting meditation is not for the purpose of retreat, withdrawal, escape. It's really quite the opposite. If there is a purpose, if I can say something of a purpose it's to wake up to the world of birth and death. Of our delusions, of our ignorance,

[18:35]

of our fantasies, our longings, our disappointments and to face the face in the mirror from the inside just like a snail, the head of a snail moving forward with faith and curiosity into all of the nooks and crannies of your senses. I saw an interview, I mentioned this once before, on TV last winter with Stephen Hawking who is the physicist that has advanced ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease and he sits in a wheelchair, basically he's frozen. The only thing that moves is his eyes and he's able to communicate through very advanced computer technology. So during the interview, toward the end

[19:40]

the interviewer said to him, Are you a happy man? And Stephen Hawking replied through his machine, Yes, I am. And the interviewer who was visibly surprised said, How is that so? And Stephen Hawking typed out, Because I am deeply curious. So all of us here in this room are invited to wholeheartedly explore all the parts of ourselves. This practice of ours is a journey without a destination. We're kind of like Lewis and Clark. We just paddle along in wide-eyed wonder

[20:40]

at all of the vistas of both beauty and horror. And it helps to sit upright and balanced, to relax and to allow your breathing like those fine old wooden paddles to dip in and out of the flowing river as you move along. Your eyes are open watching for movement and for the passions of change. And your spine like a fat tree-climbing snake heads upward toward the sky and a wider view of the long river below. All of your senses are awake and alert

[21:47]

as if balanced on the point of a finely sharpened pencil sitting at the brink of the known universe. From the Genjo Koan, you will see and understand only what your eye of practice can reach. In order to learn the nature of the myriad things, oceans and rivers are infinite in variety. Whole worlds are there. It is so not only around you but also directly beneath your feet or in a drop of water. So this journey that we're taking together

[22:50]

in this room today has no true beginning and no true ending. Life simply unfolds like the river or like the rose and at the core you'll find there are new beginnings and new points of departure. Planting the fields, cooking rice to eat, caring for the children, world-round this has always been the way. A teacher once said that feeding the monks is a waste of food. So I think we can only hope and endeavor to repay our debt of gratitude to this tiny green planet for giving us life unconditionally. And as every mother knows,

[23:53]

the requiting of that love comes from finding your children happy, alert and awake. This is a poem that Reb read to us some years ago in Seshim that I like very much. Love bade me welcome yet my soul drew back guilty of dust and sin but quick-eyed love observing me grow slack from my first entrance in drew nearer to me sweetly questioning if I lacked anything. A guest I answered worthy to be here love said you shall be she I the unkind the ungrateful oh my dear I cannot look on thee.

[24:56]

Love took my hand and smiling did reply who made the eyes but I truth Lord but I have marred them let my shame go where it doth deserve you know and know you not says love who bore the blame my dear then I will serve you must sit down says love and taste my meat so I did sit and eat. So as you continue sitting this morning and on into the afternoon please forget everything you heard everything you know and everything you've ever wanted and then just go ahead and

[26:04]

proposition the universe make yourself an offering your eyes and your ears your nose your tongue your body and your mind and then follow the sound of your own footsteps as they pass into the garden through the gate in the old stone wall someone is waiting there to meet you source and explanation variously are all made up passing to ear from mouth it comes apart planting fields making rice ordinary household matters only those who have investigated to the full would know having investigated to the full

[27:06]

you clearly know there is nothing to seek may your intention may your intention

[27:20]

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