October 11th, 1995, Serial No. 02703

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mom

this
poem that we've been studying sitting with practicing with
oh
that the way is not difficult
just stop picking and choosing
or for one who refuses to pick and choose
or for one who has no preferences
and i've mentioned that this translation of stephen mitchell's for one who
is not attached to their preferences a kind of leaned in that direction because some
because i found it so difficult to imagine having no preferences
and then someone in the class that i'm teaching thursday night brought up just for that very reason
why she likes ah
these translations who say just give up picking and choosing just refuse to pick and choose
is it has that kind of vastness a vow like
beings are numberless i vow to save them
it has that kind of boundlessness
that imagining that it's possible to keep up attachment to our preferences on kind of narrows it down
so it gives me a new well that's why i like about it when we all take up something and study it together on none of us has the last word on it and everybody has a fresh
a fresh way of seeing it that we can share with each other and i really appreciated this way of seeing it
ah it's just a vast and impossible task
and i want to face that direction anyhow that's the direction i want to move my life even though there's no end to the practice
there's no end to the effort
but there's something about this just giving up picking and choosing that also ah relates to something i talk about often
this ah
just throwing yourself into
your life
you know when when we're when sewing but robe we take great take refuge in buddha with each stitch
and i mentioned to every class
the translation the literal translation of the japanese words for taking refuge in buddha on namo key puts you is the japanese
and this namo means the closest meaning is oh yes
and key means to plunge into with nothing held back with no reservation
and put to is poodle so as a namo kibbutzim namo keyhole always dharma namo okay so so samba
so this japanese version of taking refuge is just to plunge into
completely
with nothing held back
and you know you may be board hearing me talk about this this is a very important to me ah
way of understanding our practice
and one of the reasons it's so important to me is the example that i experienced when i first came to practice of people whom i saw just throwing themselves into the practice with no reservation our chief among them i think
among the first people i've met was kind of roshi
ah whose enthusiasm for practice who are complete
kind of body mind and spirit plunging into practice was so apparent
all the time
ah his sort of total and whole hearted approach
ha was so infectious and so inspiring in so
wonderful to be with
that on
i want to presented to you again and again hoping that you will
i presented to you and words
and
it's the direction also that i i'd taken my life i try and i can and i try this is my vow to throw myself in to practice and
i recommend it to you for the very reason that when your whole hearted about what you do
you have ah
the joy of being wholehearted
not divided not ambivalent but just completely doing what you do
and this kind of enthusiasm is on
is so supportive of everyone around you
and it's it's so supportive of your own life and it's very much related to this mind of complete have complete faith or this mind have complete trust to trust in yourself and trust in the moment and not to just do it whatever is in front of you
i was so surprised when someone who's a fairly new resident here
told me that ah
auditions cleaning the bathroom or something and doing something quite ordinary but doing it very enthusiastically because that's how she likes to do things
and someone who'd been around a while said
oh you're so enthusiastic that'll be gone in a month or so
i thought what a shame
what a shame for those of surprising to be so discouraging to a new student
and what a shame for someone to feel that way about their practice g you know if it isn't what you want to do find something you want to do and do that you know
ah if this isn't what you love find what you to love and do it
this is a lot about what practices is to find out what's the most important thing what do i really wanted to how do i want to live my life and do it
all you've got give it all you've got
what are you saving it for
that very energy and enthusiasm that you spend renews itself and replenishes itself
it's an endless fountain
and when you hold back and say that you just kind of pinch it off and squeeze it down to a trip instead of a flood

when you do things you do whatever's in front of you
without picking and choosing and do it fully and wholeheartedly
the energy keeps renewing itself the doesn't go away
it doesn't get used up
that very vitality will keep
keep the flow gone
and the timidity of holding back
kind of them sarah
so i i hope
that new students who are here with great enthusiasm will not find it dull than damned
and i hope no students with energy and enthusiasm for kind of revitalize some people who forgotten why they came here
forgotten what their motivation is or
on
forgotten to enjoy their practice
please enjoy your practice
please enjoy each breath

someone said they were smiling in the
no i don't know in the and the meal line during somewhat period
can someone said them not so much levity
well let's have a lot of levity let's have so much leverage that we all just kind of of lift each other
life is too serious to take it so seriously
friend loses
no it's true that we practice with a sense of urgency it's true that the verse of the hon which
got put on upside down and sanded off and hasn't been put on again but the first of the hon
oof
life and death birth and death is the great matter
in parliament quickly passing
awake awake each one
don't waste time
it's true that we practice each moment with that sense of urgency
but that doesn't mean we have to be so serious about we can still enjoy it
we can still enjoy this life
even though it's brief even though it's drawn or flash
all the more reason to enjoy it while it's here

so please those of you who are new and fresh and full of enthusiasm
help those of us who are kind of old and jaded
and who need a little refreshment
to remember
why
we left
ah the life we live before to come here and do this practice

not to get something
not to accomplish something but to be fully vital in prison in our life as it is right now
not for some time later when it's better different more like we imagined it to be more like we thought we wanted it to be the life that you thought you wanted
this perfect life that you imagine
exists only in your imagination
this life that we have to live as this one right now
as we are just like this
thanks to our trusty librarian how i found out that there's another book of lectures on shin shin mean there are many ca
commentaries on shin may one of the things in this introduction is that it tells about a great many commentaries on hsin hsin ming which is known as the first send pawn
and this happens to the i never sleeps is a
a series of lectures given by gimple mercil
a disciple of my zoomy roshi
on the spawn and in it is an introduction by my zoomy roshi
ah and i'd like to share some of it with you my so roche's you know died just this year and he was
he was one of the
foremost founders of soto zen in america
he began teaching shortly after suzuki roshi and ah
his song goes and center of los angeles and all of its offspring and the sanga are sort of to of the major
sunday's of soto zen in america
no together also would cut a hero she's sunk in minneapolis which came some years later
ah

so he says an outstanding characteristic of the poem is that has written and genuine chinese without using any sanskrit or poly buddhist terms
this is known as the first send poem and directly and vividly expresses the zen spirit and simple can contact form
the main themes express and synching may derive from ah
one of the few authentic writings of bodhidharma

we have little information about the life of the third ancestor to whom this point is attributed though it may be of a slightly later date than that
according to the danko roku he was a layman over forty years old suffering from lap leprosy when he met the second ancestor
for the first time and five fifty one know the christian era being deeply impressed with this layman's capacity for the dharma rico's shaved the third ancestors head and named him saying sun which means jewel of the community
he was gradually cured of his illness and after they had practiced together for two years we co gave him the roven bowls signifying the transmission of the dharma
anticipating the persecution of buddhists and china prophesied by bodhisattva recorded his successor to hide in the mountains and not to teach
the third ancestor remained in seclusion for over twenty four years
need later met the month bow shin and transmitted the dharma to him
and after that he moved to a mountain near canton for three years and then a return does original mountain and died and six oh six
it has said that he passed away standing under a big tree with as palms together in gus show
the title hsin hsin ming is translated as vs on the faith mind
the title of a point with sometimes likened to the forehead which expresses a person's unique characteristics
in synch and shin is generally understood his faith
however the word is also used in different in a different sense in the context of vs
as for example at the very end shin shin poor faith mind or not to
poor air shin shin non dual faith mind
the translator renders these lions as to live in this faith is the road to non-duality
well as one with the trusting mind
in this context faith does not have the usual meaning of having faith in something this is something we talk about an our group this afternoon it was our group this afternoon
it's not having faith in something now maybe it was in practice discussion it
some faith in something because that suggests faith in something outside yourself
ah we see at the beginning of the
ah ordination ceremony in faith that that we are buddha we under buddhist way
faith in buddhism is more faith that than faith in something which
lisa something outside yourself
but
my zoom euro she says in this context face does not have the usual meaning of having faith in something but rather that faith is the very fact of existence of reality itself
dogan zandi says with add attaining buddhahood the faith won't manifest
where the face manifests buddhists and ancestors manifests
the nirvana sutra states great faith is no other than buddha nature
cause and gar use says that one thousand seven hundred columns this is the whole collection of coins are altogether
the expression of this mind of faith
the word ming means written expression and also warnings for admonitions hence the title means the verbal expression of the fact that the very nature of existence and of all the phenomenal world are no other than the faith mine
the shin shin mean declares although all dualities come from the one
do not be attached even to this one
that is to say at the bottom of the to there's one
and at the bottom of the one
there is zero
and that zero is just this
the unborn one mine
which is the faith mind
this faith mine
is the mind with which we said
this faith mind as the mind which
when i'm always say what is it that gets out of bed and goes to the zendo
when i want to stay asleep
it's just this faith mine

whatever i say it just gets up and goes to the zendo
from the time of its composition up to the present day the hsin hsin ming has been published and translated repeatedly by various scholars and approach
aided by different chinese and japanese teachers who have written numerous commentaries on it
the masters frequent references to the poem have authenticated as a genuine expression of the spirit of said
and then he just lists
one after another of commentaries on this poem

and i find among those one that i'm fascinated to see if i can discover if there's any english translation of because the teacher whom i mentioned over and over again because he was the teacher of and my sewing teacher
homeless cotto swanky code she apparently did a commentary on hsin hsin ming
and i'm going to see if i can find out if any of it's been translated at the english because i feel such a strong affinity
for so aka code or ocean he was a teacher in the century who really revitalized zazen as the fundamental expression of dogan cengiz way
and went all over japan he was called homeless cotto because he never had his own temple when all over japan leading sessions
for monks and laymen alike or lay people align men and women
ah which was unheard of in japan
and kindle the the joy of zazen and many many people
well including many people who have come here to teach us
no
he was a great influence on corbyn chino roshi whom some of you met
the teachers in this country
he was the teacher of my teacher joseph song as i mentioned
who's who was another of those people who was completely threw herself into practice
into the practice of selling buddha's road and of total enthusiasm for sawing wood as role ah was so infectious for me
who
really this kind of the only way i passed so in class in high school was to refinish the sewing machines because my sewing teacher sort of let me know that it was a waste of her time to try to teach me so
ah i always thought it was such a kind of a marvelous
ah
karmic
irony
but after fifty years of avoiding any kind of work lewis was could be identified is women's work
and in studying manual training in know and math and physics in high school and the chemistry and college and on and on ah
i ended up being sort of identified as a sewing teacher
and it was out of my intense feminism that all this happened because these women teachers came from japan
and i wanted to hi i got all excited about women teachers and i wanted to hang out with them but they came from the traditional culture where women did traditional women's stuff and they were selling teachers and
so i became a salty
i've always thought those kind of a neat little twist of fate or karma
ah
but georgian signs enthusiasm
i was
was so infectious i just wanted to hang out her she just took so much joy and life and so much joy and sewing buddha's robe and so much joy and everything she did including drinking beer and made so much but
on
and toward the end of her life and i've mentioned this before but their new people here and it's one of the big influences in my life so i should mention toward the end of her life she had had a heart attack and she had had a stroke and had some paralysis in her right hand and she had can
atarax so she could no longer do what she loved to do
and she wrote me from untidy monastery where she practiced had moved from us kyoto out to the mountains and they had built a new monastery and they built her a little house of her own and she was so heavy she'd never had her own house she went to ah so
study in a nunnery when she was a teenager when i'm with an orphan
and then she left to go study was so i can photoshop and she'd never had her own house and they built her little house i went to see it in nineteen ninety one linchpin funny too
it was a little house tiny relax but it was for house and she was so happy and she sent me pictures of it she says the monks have built me my own house and they take very good care of me and i live a life now of gratitude and gosh show
so impressed that here she was not really able to take care of herself no longer able to so which she loved to do ah losing her eyesight
ah partly paralyzed
and saying with the same enthusiasm she always had a live a life now of gratitude and gusher
and i was moved very deeply to really
practice
with all my heart when i got that letter because
i thought how can that be how can someone ah
at this stage of her life
say i live a life of gratitude and got show
when she's
losing her faculties and has to be cared for
and i think it's because she always practiced with such total devotion to practice
total devotion
to sewing good as rome to practicing thousand to being ten zo and untidy used to describe me what it was like to be tens of and on page during session she is only about four foot ten you know and she's there was and she would she never spoke english now never spoke japanese is this all happened through
kind of of waving her arms and sign language and shoes and so on i'm cooking in their this big parts and the smokers gone no one nose and my eyes are watering and and putting one on the fire and you he's describing what it's like in this old monastery with woodstove in the kitchen cooking for
for everyone by herself
for sir shane and on pledging
and the
and when she was sewing at tassajara
she was so determined that all of the robes get done she would so late into the night so that and we had only kerosene lamps and these were black robes so lou was really worried about her eyes you know it's just a kerosene lamp so he he took her cash you can
and cut it open and to get the shiny metal and and used it for reflector settings put three kerosene lamps and this reflector to make a little more light for her because she was sewing so late at night
ah
and
i kept saying to her patricia sign please go to bed please take it why are you staying up so late to so then she went to those suitcase where we kept the sewing things and she took out some unfinished raucous hills left from previous sewing classes and again speaking only japanese know english you know she said
i'm sure she said that's why and that's why and that's why that's the damnedest she says tight that's bad that's bad there should never be an unfinished put his robe you know and so i must stay up late at night and finish them because they must be finished before i have to go back to japan
and because i loved her so much because i was really worried about her i said i will finish them i will see that they're finished please go to bed i promise i will see that they're finished
and then she really started to teach me on so she had me sit there and so like this machine all of the pieces that she used to do the bits that were too much trouble or pete somebody else how to do each one she had me do corners of all cases these corners their little bit complicated how to get it all folded in there with that
a being lumpy and she had me do them all day long one corner after bullet but she couldn't tell me how because we didn't speak the same language so she would put the needle and huge see their work
now look
then she take it out so you do it so then i would put an emergency no no no no this way their look
we do that all day long
until finally learned how to do the corners know
she showed me each thing she had to teach me how to do and then she went back each pan and there were eleven people
so in cases there are four corners on each case of there are four corners on each other your eighty eight cores that
and when we finally had the ceremony i sent her a telegram saying
shoot k tokaido completed today
and i sent a telegram
and then i sent her a photograph
we actually had completed all these cases so
that is how she
somehow
conned me into being a song page
and i have to say it's the great joy of my life i love it
i still can't so by love it
i love it because you know i'm kind of with her every time i do it
churches on is there in the room with me every time i do it
so please enjoy your life
do something that you can do if your whole heart
this is the mind of complete faith
the is are numberless