This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. Good evening to all of you here at Tassajara as well. Thank you, Kodo, and thank you, Nancy, for inviting me to give this talk. It's... This is really amazing to be in Tassajara and on Zoom from the Tassajara Zendo, where we've all been sitting together for about the last three weeks, which is just amazing. And then to also be sitting with all of you who are Zooming into the City Center Wednesday evening Dharma Talk. Thank you all so much for being here. Lately, I've been reflecting on what we cultivate and what we refrain from as two of the maybe foundational or one of the ways of looking at our foundational practices.

[01:14]

Doing and not doing. And how these relate to each other and balance each other. And I became really interested in the side of refrain from. The meaning of not doing. So in the precepts, in the bodhisattva precepts, we recite at ordination ceremonies and every month at the full moon ceremony. They're in the form of I refrain, I vow to refrain from or I vow not to. And the first three precepts are the pure precepts. I vow to refrain from all evil. I vow to do all that is good. I vow to live and be lived for the benefit of all beings. And I got to thinking particularly about the first pure precept. I vow to refrain from all evil or I vow not to do harm.

[02:19]

So in the full moon precept ceremony, there's a short Dogen commentary. after each precept. So we recite, I vow to refrain from all evil. And then the Doshi says, it is the abode of the law of all Buddhas. It is the source of the law of all Buddhas. So this vow to refrain from all evil, this vow not to do harm, is considered to be the abode and the source of the law of all Buddhas. Wow. That's big. So the law of all Buddhas refers to the Dharma, the truth, the lawful order of the universe as it unfolds and causes and conditions. If you do this, that happens. If you do that, this happens.

[03:24]

So this position of refraining from evil, of doing no harm, as the first vow, the first pure precept, says that non-harming is considered primary, foundational in an ethical or spiritual life. And this is true across many traditions and cultures. It reflects the importance of interdependence, our fundamental non-separateness from one another. From an ethical, spiritual perspective, non-harming is the necessary foundation of all our relationships with others. I recently heard a Hindi woman talking about ahimsa, which means non-harming, in a way I'd never heard before. Not only not doing harm oneself, refraining from causing harm yourself to other people, but also preventing, interrupting, or disrupting harm that is being caused to others.

[04:33]

And this was in the context of a conversation about racial and social justice from the point of view of spiritual practice, different spiritual traditions. And this expanded way of looking at ahimsa, of non-harming, addresses how we manifest our interdependence in positive actions. and positive actions, not just refrain from. So this not doing harm and doing good are intimately intertwined. They're not separate. And further, the absence of painful thoughts about harmful actions or speech that we have done creates a more settled and peaceful ground in which to practice. You know, when we... When we're consumed with guilt or regret or self-justification for our behavior, it can be extremely unsettling and it's hard to let go of and it's very hard to practice.

[05:37]

It's hard to be present because we're trying so hard to get away from what's actually present, which is the intensity of the feelings that are arising with regard to our actions and our thoughts. So another aspect of not doing is not thinking. Because thinking is another form of doing. It's mental activity. So in the Fukan Zazengi, the universal recommendations for Zazen by Dogen Zenji, he says, inhale and exhale. Rock your body right and left. and settle into steady and movable sitting position. Think not thinking. How do you think not thinking? Non-thinking.

[06:38]

This is the essential art of zazen. So again, here is not doing as a core practice. Non-thinking is the essential art of zazen. doing something. It's not doing something. It's doing, not doing, thinking, not thinking, non-thinking. And Dogen goes on to say, it's not learning meditation, zazen. The essential art of zazen is not learning meditation. It's not about doing. It's simply the Dharma gate of repose and bliss, the practice, realization of ultimate enlightenment. So these basic instructions for zazen are simple, but they're not easy. And in my reflections on the meaning and significance of not doing, looking at many different aspects of it, the phrase negative capability came to mind.

[07:47]

It seemed familiar, but I couldn't place it, but it It caught me somehow, so I looked it up, of course, and I found that the term goes back to the early 19th century, to the poet John Keats, who wrote, negative capability is when a person is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason. Negative capability, is when a person is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason. So Keats only used this term once. It was in a letter to his brothers. But the concept has resonated with so many people, it has entered the language. If you search for negative capability, you'll find a ton of stuff.

[08:51]

And it's all in... interpretations or extrapolations of what Dogen could have been pointing to. I'm sorry, what Keats could have been pointing to. And here's one commentary that really resonated for me. Negative capability is the ability to not know, to tolerate ambiguity and resist that instinctive need to protect oneself through understanding and control. It is the ability to see the truth of the world through an unfiltered lens, no matter how disturbing or threatening it is, and to abandon beliefs that serve to protect one's identity and create comfort. The person with negative capability willfully submits to being unsettled by experience, by a person or situation,

[09:52]

This was not from a spiritual side. It was from a blog. And that it seems to really touch that inner place that we're searching for somehow that we both long for and are unsettled by as we turn more deeply into our experience. So why would we want to willfully submit to being unsettled by our experience, by a person or situation, and embrace the feelings and possibilities that emerge? Because this is the Dharma gate of repose and bliss, the practice and verification of ultimate enlightenment. This is where the juice is. This is where the life is. Every experience of the impulse to say or do something harmful has the potential to be a Dharma gate, an opening, a letting go into a different way of being in the world.

[11:03]

Because every experience of the impulse to protect oneself through understanding and control, through irritable reaching after fact and reason, has the potential to be a Dharma gate. a letting go into a different way of seeing the world and of being in relation to it. This impulse to protect, this irritable reaching after fact and reason, or whatever our set of go-to things are to get away out of fixed control change, the difficult experiences that we're having in any given moment, That's dukkha right there. That's suffering. And it's not the thing itself. It's our relationship to it. How we relate to this experience, this sense of what's arising in the moment.

[12:08]

So these yucky experiences, these moments of being caught, that can be as intensive as not only being fear, but something like vertigo or nausea or terror or overwhelm, depending on how close it touches to those old wounds around which our defenses and protections cluster. We can practice seeing them, viewing them, not as things that we absolutely should avoid, fix, control, or change, by any means necessary, that is pointing to deep suffering that needs to be addressed. Parts of ourselves that are crying out to be addressed. Because there's suffering there. There's deeper suffering that we're trying to cover. And if we're getting that close to it, it often means that we're ready to go another step.

[13:21]

in acceptance, in meeting, in opening, becoming available to us. And it's our defenses, our usual ways of responding are greatly hindering our potential for peace and freedom. And it's far more difficult to create the world we long for, the beloved community, when we're caught in fear and old stories. So letting go actually means turning toward, not getting away from. Becoming intimate, really close, close in, intimate with what we're holding on to and seeing clearly how to release it. physically, mentally, and emotionally.

[14:25]

To develop this negative capability starts with the body, or I would suggest start with the body. Start by creating the conditions that you need in that moment in order to be able to begin to let go and release. that may be creating a sense of safety, to noticing what's arising, to connecting with the earth, to putting your hand over your heart and just feeling that you're breathing and you're alive and you're here in this moment, not in the past, but right here and right now. And if you have the space to do that, then you're probably okay at least for that moment. In that moment, you can find just a little bit of safety. And then you can see what happens next. And I think that's really what I had to say tonight.

[15:43]

Thank you very much. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[16:06]

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