This podcast is offered by San Francisco's Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Good to see you all. I'm actually a little surprised there's as many of you as there are here today because there's a big wedding happening today at Green Gulch Farm. the daughter of the central abbess, who the daughter grew up at Zen Center. And so she is getting married to another Zen practitioner. And I know a lot of people are over there today. So thank you for being here and joining us today. For those of you who don't know me, my name is David Zimmerman, and I am the head of practice here at City Center. And... It's always wonderful to know who in the audience is here for the first time. Anyone?

[01:01]

Great, wonderful, wonderful to see you all. Some of you I know have been here before, so great to see you again. Well, welcome, a special welcome to each and every one of you, Buddhas, all of you Buddhas, shining this morning. So... We're entering into the final week of a six-week spring practice period. And Tova Green and I have been co-leading this practice period. And the theme for the practice period has been cultivating a mind of radical trust, Zen practices in an uncertain world. So to speak to this theme today, as well as to acknowledge that this month is... LGBTQ Pride Month. For those of you who don't know the alphabet, symbols for that, that's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Pride Month. So I thought I'd, in honor of that, share with you this morning some thoughts about how we might see our personal and collective identities as pathways to wholeness, inclusivity, and trust.

[02:19]

So I'm going to do this by attempting to weave together the threads of wisdom from a Chinese fable about a girl with a divided self, some thoughts by contemporary Dharma teachers on the subject of awakening through our relative identities, and two Zen poems. So let's see how it all comes together, shall we? So... First, I'd like to start off with a story about a divided self and returning to wholeness. And this is case 35 from a collection of Coens called the Mumonkan, or the Gateless Gate. And the title is Zenjo and Her Soul Are Separated, which is based on a Chinese folktale from the Tang Dynasty. Anyone familiar with this particular story? A few of you? Okay. Okay. So here's the story. Zenjo was the beloved daughter of Chokhan.

[03:25]

In childhood, she played with her cousin, Ochu, and Zenjo's father jokingly told them they were betrothed. They believed him and later fell in love. When her father told her she would marry another man, they were heartbroken. One night before the marriage, Ochu left the village in a boat. As he left, he saw a figure running along the riverbank, calling to him. It was Zenjo. Joyfully, she joined him, and they traveled far away, where they married and had two children. Several years went by, and Zenjo longed to see her parents and asked their forgiveness. They traveled back to their village, and Ochu went to her father, told him the story, and apologized for both of them. Chokhan, the father, was astonished. And asked Ochu, what girl are you talking about?

[04:27]

Your daughter, Senjo, replied Ochu. Chokhan said, my daughter, Senjo? Ever since you left, she's been sick in bed, unable to speak. Then Ochu brought Senjo up from the boat. As they approached her parents' door, the Senjo, who had been sick, got up from her bed, smiling. When the two Zenjos met, they merged into one. Zenjo said, I saw Ochu going away, and that night I dreamed that I ran after his boat. But now I cannot tell which was really me, the one that went away in the boat or the one that stayed at home. Later, Zen Master Wuzu asked, Zenjo was separated from her soul. Which was the real Zenjo? So, like Zenjo, many of us were brought up in circumstances in which we had little agency.

[05:41]

Where familiar, familiar, familial, if I could say that, religious, cultural, gender, or social pressures were strong. And where a meeting that prevailing expectations of those around us was conveyed as more input than anything else. Was this the case for any of you? I see a few smiles, a few heads shaking. Perhaps we were born into a family. or a social or cultural ecology, with many challenges and intense karmic patterns, such as alcoholism or emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Like Senjo, we may have experienced great love, great loss, and great disappointment. Conditioned by this difficult environment, we might try to relieve our pain in unskillful ways, perhaps reproducing many of the negative habitual behaviors to which we were ourselves submitted, resulting in feeling divided and distanced from our once lively self.

[07:09]

like the two Zenjos unaware of each other, one sick in bed and drained of energy, and the other with an active life, but torn by contradiction and separation. Eventually, we begin longing to be whole, for something real, for our true home. And yet the question remains, which one is the true Zenjo? And we might have this same question for ourselves. What is my true self? Who am I really? And how am I to find happiness with who I am? Furthermore, How do we go about finding peace in a world that does not satisfy, that doesn't always conform to our preferences, our likes, our dislikes?

[08:24]

Where do we find ease and peace and wholeness in a world of multiplicity and duplicity? Agent Linda Cutts, whose daughter is getting married today at Green Gulch Farm, in her commentary to this story in the collection of koans called The Hidden Lamp, points out that the Dharma teachings of the nature of self pervade this story. Actions of body, speech, and mind that are based on ignorance or belief in a separate self create more and more causes and conditions for suffering. When one practices, especially sitting still, one can reunite not only with a lost self, a flowing energy, buoyancy, and an active concern for oneself and others, but also with a fuller acknowledgement of shadow and delusions.

[09:34]

However, even though over time we might experience a type of integration of all our parts and identities through our practice, there's still the teaching in Buddhism of the emptiness of a separate self, of an ungraspable, non-abiding self. The compassionate, clear seeing which relieves all suffering. So we still hold the questions which is the true self? In which one do we take refuge? Where is our true home? The poem commentary by Mumong to Case 35 is as follows.

[10:42]

The clouds and the moon are the same. Valleys and mountains are different from each other. All are blessed. Ten thousand times blessed. Is this one? Is this two? So the Dharma reminds us over and over again that we are not separated. We are not actually separated, either internally nor externally. Everything we are is already complete, already perfect. There is no other life beyond the blessed fullness of this moment, this life. And so though we appear in different forms and colors, like the mountains and the valleys, all phenomena are equal in the moonlight of their dependent co-arising.

[11:52]

And Senjo's smiling when she comes back face to face with herself and realizing not one, in her practice body, is the way it has always been. Even if she doesn't know it, she's intimately living it. Even if we have not realized it, we must practice it as realization itself. This is what we call the body of trust. This is faith mind. Mu Man's poem commentary to K35 echoes a similar point that's made in the Xin Xin Ming.

[12:59]

Those of us currently participating in the spring practice period have been studying this 6th century Chan poem that was written by Zen's third ancestor, Chinese ancestor, Zheng San. And Xin Xin Ming is often translated as faith in mind or trust in mind. And in the Xin Xin Ming, Zheng San tells us that in this realm of suchness, there is neither self nor other than self. To come directly into harmony with this reality, just simply say when doubt arises, not to. In this not to, nothing is separated, nothing excluded, no matter when or where enlightenment means entering this truth. So it's understood in the teachings of the Buddhadharma that the true nature of reality

[14:05]

or suchness, or the way things really are, things as it is, is ineffable, beyond description and beyond conceptualization, as well as beyond the dualities of self and other. So to be in harmony with reality then, we must have faith. which means we must give up any doubt about our original oneness or wholeness. So no matter whenever or wherever we are, in the zendo, at work, at home, with friends, with people we have difficulty with, wherever, even in a situation in which we are uncertain and afraid, we can remind ourselves of our original undivided nature by simply saying, not to.

[15:21]

So holding not to in our heart minds brings us back home. brings us back to the space of non-dual awareness, to the ground of our being from which we never truly leave, which always expresses the inclusive truth and overflowing fullness of our lives together. So while the story of Zen Shou is a personal one, and we might individually identify with aspects of her experience, I think the story can also point to the ways in which we experience a bifurcation on a larger scale, a social or cultural division, if you will, in which different expressions of our wholeness

[16:35]

as a human race become separated, perhaps rivened or splintered, leaving one part of our communal body or spirit to flourish, while another part is left behind, weakened, diminished, or devalued in some way. Have any of you ever felt this way? What areas or aspects of your life has this been true for you? And is there more than one area? We all desire to be fully seen, fully and deeply seen, to have our needs and our identity as both an individual and and as an interdependent social being, be recognized and respected by our wider community.

[17:45]

To have all aspects of ourselves be acknowledged, welcomed, understood, and included. And yet, the truth is that Only we can truly see and embrace our true selves. We can't necessarily depend on others to do this, to completely meet this internal request. It's really up to us. That's our work, to see and embrace ourselves fully for who we are. I know that part of my struggle to reconcile my sexuality as a gay man when I was a teenager had not so much to do with my thinking that there was something inherently wrong with me, but more about how others weren't able to recognize, accept, and reconcile this part of who I was with their own views about how things should be.

[18:59]

it seemed that the real dissonance with self-identity was with how others expected me to be, which was inauthentic and not in accord with my internal wisdom. So even though when I came out, I was disowned by my family and harassed by others, what kept me focused through these difficult times was the strength I drew from a deeper sense of authenticity and embodied truth that there was nothing inherently wrong with me. And this is true for all of us. Exploring our identity and understanding who we truly are regardless of what others tell us, is a very important aspect of our practice.

[20:12]

However, some people think that, as Buddhists, we should try to get beyond the matter of identity. Just transcend it all, transcend all identity, because identity is just a matter of appearances and delusion. And like, you know, we're all one, right? And some people express this belief by saying, I don't see color. I don't see gender. I don't see sexual orientation. But this is a dangerous form of spiritual bypassing. I appreciate how our Dharma sister and Zen teacher, Zenju Earthland Manuel, addresses the question of identity exploration in practice in her wonderful book, The Way of Tenderness, Awakening Through Race, Sexuality, and Gender.

[21:19]

So Zenju, who identifies as a bisexual black woman, writes, identity should not be dismissed in our efforts towards spiritual awakening. On the contrary, identity is to be explored on the path of awakening. Identity is not merely of a political nature. It is inclusive of our essential nature when stripped of distortion. In other words, identity is not the problem, but the distortions we bring to it are. And what are these distortions? They are the conditioned views, beliefs, preferences, and opinions that cloud our minds and obscure our pure, essential, and indiscriminate nature. There are a lot of conversations happening these days on both a national and international scale around the issues of identity.

[22:29]

particularly those based on race, gender, sexuality, physical and mental ability, politics and class. Identities through which we might experience a sense of personal or social division or separation, oppression and even violence. I'm particularly thinking of a lot of the conversation in politics here in the United States right now. How divisive it is, how much it just cuts to these particular points and hurts so deeply, I think, and misses, really misses what it is freedom is about. So speaking specifically to our practice communities, awareness is being raised that many of the American-Western Buddhist convert sanghas are predominantly predominantly comprised of white, middle-class practitioners.

[23:33]

And this is certainly true here at San Francisco Zen Center. So if you look around the room, you might notice this, where the racial and economic diversity in the room doesn't mirror the city overall. So while we as a community are making efforts to address this imbalance, and the pain it causes, it's a slow, difficult, and necessarily uncomfortable process. And we have had for a number of years an active and committed cultural awareness and inclusivity committee, as well as a number of diversity-related trainings. And yet there is still so much work to do in creating conditions for a truly inclusive, a true inclusivity in our framework of contemporary Zen training.

[24:39]

My Dharma brother, Greg Snyder, who is the founder of the Brooklyn Zen Center and someone who identifies as a straight white man, has an article in the Kurt Summer Issue of Buddha Dharma entitled, Waking Up to Whiteness. In it, he reminds us that for our practice to have meaning in today's world, it must include a thorough understanding of our identities, including our racial identities, and their impact. He writes, while those of us who are white and have inherited and internalized a logic of white supremacy and racial privilege that came before us, Even though we did not create it, it is ours to replicate if we are not awake. Though not our fault, it is our responsibility. We may feel guilt, remorse, embarrassment, shame, or revulsion throughout this exploration.

[25:49]

However, we must not make the mistake of grounding these feelings in an external eye or mind. If we take up this path as fault or personal defect, we will all be stuck in a mud of self-hatred serving no one. This process of studying our conditioning through the illumination of habits of fault, behavior, and relationship, and personal and societal histories and their painful impact on others will hold... differently racialized positions, is the never-ending commitment to the bodhisattva path. So with any form of unconscious bias, including that which underlies white privilege and supremacy, you're not able to see the limitations of your view and understanding of racial suffering.

[26:57]

and other forms of oppression. Basically, you don't know what you don't know. However, acknowledging the identity-based conditioning that leads to racism, white privilege, sexism, classism, ableism, and so on, inevitably involves discomfort. In fact, most efforts to address entrenched and unseen self-clinging is uncomfortable. And so it takes great courage and great honesty to turn the light around and illuminate those parts of ourselves that cause harm, whether intentionally or unintentionally. but it's the only way if we are truly to enact our bodhisattva vow to live for the benefit of all beings.

[28:08]

What Zenju, Earthland Manuel and Greg Snyder and other Dharma teachers who address intersectionality are reminding us is that embodied race, sexuality, and gender in concert together are locations for the experience of spiritual awakening. They are repeatedly encouraging us to sincerely take up this question, this koan, if you will, of how it is that we awake within our specific conditions and identities. not in some other form or some other expression of being that's outside of who we already are. It's vital that we understand that there is no other place of awakening, no other place of liberation, other than right in our immediate experience and location.

[29:22]

Here is the place. Here the way unfolds. Right here in this very mind body. Elsewhere in her book, Zenju, speaks of a tension that arises when we are unable to acknowledge that our unique individual bodies and diverse identities are the very locations for our awakening. And some of us might simply want to gloss over our differences by claiming a oneness, or our oneness as human beings. Many of us consider being human to be our common grounds, Andrew writes. This perspective can negate our unique differences and end up causing more tension. Being human is not enough of a common ground to help us navigate our challenges. if we could consider our common ground as trust, we would be more able to remain open to the struggle.

[30:32]

What are we trusting? We are trusting that what happens between us is the path by which we must come to awaken as human beings. We must stick to this path with great integrity, no matter how difficult. Trust is essential on our path of self-awakening and awakening together. In fact, we could say that trust is itself the very path of awakening. We engage each other over the course of our varied lives and through thick and thin, including through great confusion, conflicts, disagreements, as well as painful, heartbreaking injustices in faith that we already are Buddha, already endowed with the same bright, boundless, clear mind, heart.

[31:51]

So while it's deeply important to continue to strive to create a culture in which No one is marginalized, oppressed, or threatened, or abused, or killed. I think it's equally important that we take up the activity of social justice with the underlying question that Dharma poses, which is, who are we really? What is your true identity? Who are you really going beyond? appearances of skin color, gender, sexual orientation, economic stance, physical ability, and so on. All these realms and locations of identity in which we find ourselves. Just as we can ask who is the real Zenjo and where is she located, we can ask what is our real self, our true self,

[32:55]

And in what realm do we ultimately locate our true selves? I think it's fair to say that most of the oppression, violence, and injustice in our world is self-created by humans. And it's either focused inward towards others or towards ourselves or outwards towards others. And it seems we are so often out of touch with something fundamental, some fundamental guiding principle, some essential truth. Gandhi called his nonviolent, resistant movement satyagraha. Satya means truth, and graha means to hold or grasp.

[33:59]

So Satyagraha means to hold one's truth. And what is this truth that we are encouraged to return to and to hold as our baseline? It is the truth that all beings are equal and deserve respect because we are together one life, one heart, one mind. And so we hold, or preference, if you will, a truth that looks out and cares for all beings. All beings have equal rights, not just us and not just for our personal welfare. When we hold the truth for all beings equally, then all lives are allowed to equally manifest. The practice of radical inclusivity and trust entails widening our frame of reference, so that we are no longer the measure of value, worth, or justice.

[35:20]

Instead, the measure becomes the degree to which our interconnectedness and our wholeness is seen, understood, and acted upon. we must ask ourselves to what degree do we foster conditions, including personal, institutional, cultural, and social or political, that use as a centering point or orientation an intention to be free of bias or privilege or preference toward any one particular group of individuals, so that all beings are seen and given equal regard, equal space, equal inclusion and space in the fabric of our dependently co-arisen life together.

[36:26]

So last summer I was in Manhattan. I spent three months in Brooklyn, at the Brooklyn Zen Center. And I had a chance to visit the village zendo in lower Manhattan. And across from the entrance of the zendo there, there's a wall hanging. And it's this long piece that features a broad, wide, yellow brush stroke. And Steltold, over top of this brushstroke are the words by Jack Kurek, in which he says, equally empty, equally to be loved, equally a coming Buddha. Equally empty, equally to be loved, equally a coming Buddha. I love this phrase. Perhaps you can call it a slogan. And I've been returning to it again and again as a personal koan, or personal mantra, I should say.

[37:36]

And I would like to propose that this phrase can be used as a supportive reminder of how we might practice seeing ourselves and others as not too. So, as a wisdom practice, it reminds us that we in all things are fundamentally empty. of inherent existence, and as such are dependently co-arisen. And as a compassion practice, it also reminds us of our diverse yet fundamental humanity, that we all want to be happy, free of suffering, and loved. And finally, we are reminded to recognize ourselves and each other as already moment to moment a rising Buddha. Clear, open awareness.

[38:42]

I interpret the word coming as in equally a coming Buddha. Not so much about how in the future we might become a Buddha if we practice hard enough. but rather in the sense of thus come, that as we are thus now, in the very moment, we are already Buddha. We only need to see this by dropping our limited and distorted views. And finally, we might also want to put the word together. in front of each of these lines. For it is together that we are equally empty. Together that we are equally to be loved. And together that we are all Buddha.

[39:49]

So in closing, I want to make a few brief plugs for some events coming up this month. I might be treading on the Ino's announcements grounds. My apologies, Ino-san. So next Wednesday, June 8th, Zen teacher Angel Kyoto Williams will give the evening Dharma talk here, and she's going to speak on her new book, Radical Dharma, Race, Love, and Liberation. So if you were free that night, I would highly encourage you to come here. She's a wonderful speaker and a wonderful teacher. And then at the end of the month, we have Pride Weekend here in San Francisco. And San Francisco Zen Center, as we have done in the past, will have a contingent in the parade. And this year is particularly noteworthy. for us as Buddhist practitioners, because the grand marshal, one in marshals, is Larry Yang.

[40:55]

And Larry Yang is a Dharma teacher who I believe identifies as a gay Asian-American man. And he is one of the co-founders of the East Bay Meditation Center. If you haven't been there, I highly encourage you to check it out. It's a wonderful place. And he also is on the teacher's council at Spirit Rock. And another of the grand marshals for the parade is Fresh White, and there's an exclamation point after Fresh. And he is also a Dharma practitioner, identifies as a transgender black man, and also practices at the East Bay Meditation Center, from what I understand. And finally, you might want to check out the current summer issue of Buddha Dharma, which is titled... Free the Dharma, Race, Power, and White Privilege in American Buddhism. So both Greg Snyder, my Dharma brother, as well as Angel Kyoto Williams has articles in there in that particular issue.

[41:59]

So I encourage you to check out these events and resources if you have any interest in further exploring how we can awaken together through our personal and interpersonal identities and wholeness. So, happy Pride Month, everybody. And I want to thank you for your presence and patience. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

[42:54]

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