memory of coming here when I was much younger and it's very visceral memory coming in from outside this churn flying not come in to the building. And much of today, I felt myself twitch. by the vents breaking the news.

[02:08]

And I came here and I felt that quieting. A little bit of attachment to my which feels justified. Once again, we find ourselves in the midst of this story of our ancient twisted karma, in the midst of the story greed, hatred, and delusion. These aren't just words that we say. There are many ways that harm violence is acted, enacted in our world.

[03:23]

It's the story of vision. The story that we've been studying in this poem, the tradition made. The story of the illusion of separation. The story of divisiveness of me and you and us and them. The story of creating an other that we then feel justified into the harm. Horrible, terrible, violent harm. And our practice is the practice of discovering the great mind of fear.

[04:29]

Today is the two-year anniversary of the murder of Mr. George Floyd Jr. reminds us to feel the preciousness of each breath. In just the short time that I have been here coming here, engaging in this intensive

[05:44]

five incidents of gun violence here in the US, which is just a slice of the violence across the world. A long time ago, the Zen poet, Ria Khan, responded this way. He said, oh, oh, that my robes were wide enough to gather up all the suffering people, all the suffering beings in this floating world. long time ago, and yet the sentiment remains true today.

[06:57]

Oh, that our robes are wide enough to gather up all the suffering beings in this luminous, aching again and again some version of the question, what should I do? Some of you may have seen that clip from the senator who walked onto the Senate floor and said, what are we doing? What are we doing? Because what they're doing is nothing.

[08:03]

you're doing is refusing to pass legislation that would just require a safety check, which is firearms. There's something really important for us when we ask the question, what should I do? Because we can engage from a place that is the same, that brings the same mind of divisiveness to our actions. And it's not that there's nothing to do. There are many many things we can do. We can vote.

[09:09]

We can pray. We can leap. We can march. We can speak up. of our vow, of our beliefs, of our vow, is the promise. It's the promise not to turn away. We vow to to allow the pain of the world to touch us.

[10:19]

I think the booty suffer Bodhi, wise, awake, awakening. Sattva is a being, a sentient being. Bodhisattva is a wise, feeling being. I think that before we act, or at least concurrent with our activity, with our engagement, we have to let ourselves feel. hear the sensitivity, the sentience in real-conscious words. This deep wish to help, even if we're not sure.

[11:39]

vow doesn't come because we're nice people. It doesn't come because we're better than other people. It comes from this deep understanding of our connectedness. From the deep understanding that I cannot wake up and be free while others suffer. ourselves to feel the heartache, to feel the heartbreak because when anyone suffers, we understand them as kin, as family. So our practice is here to help us

[13:18]

go numb, not look away, not to normalize something completely not normal. I don't know if it's anywhere in any Buddhist teaching, but it comes from years sitting with my own suffering and sitting with the suffering of others. And the theory is that each of us has

[14:25]

an array of strategies to avoid feeling something. That's something really different for each of us. It is in the turning to face, to feel that suffering that we soften, that we find a place that connects, that we discover our true kinship with others. And there's this strange phenomenon when we really allow ourselves to feel the pain, to feel the heartache, the outrage, the sadness, the grief, we discover that there's something under all of that which is love.

[15:37]

But there's a reason we are upset and that reason is because we care. It took me a long time to turn toward the truth of collective racism and oppression. I didn't think I needed to turn toward it. In some ways, was not so hard for me to look away. And it wasn't until I allowed myself to sit in a cauldron of other people who I had come to care deeply for and hear their stories

[17:01]

to allow the statistics I read in the paper to become someone's brother or father or child, that I could allow my heart to break. can feel to us too much. It's too much. It's not just them. The 19 children who are murdered today and their teachers and the extraordinary, excruciating pain of their families and their loved ones.

[18:06]

It's not just the 10 really African-American people who were gunned down while they were shopping because someone believed his views believe this myth of white supremacy enough. We believed it enough that we could take other people out. But everywhere we look, a million deaths from COVID, systems, power movement and racism and oppression and keep the cycles of poverty and hunger

[19:17]

This is powers. And it is too much for any one of us. The pain of illness, of violence, of war. Wars across multiple continents. It's too much for any one of us alone to hold, but we hold together. We allow ourselves to feel the pain because beneath that there is love. Because beneath that we feel our deep connectedness. So I said, where there is sorrow, there is only ground.

[20:53]

So there are some dimensions of this kind of difficulty that I think require something more than words. So I want to offer us all a kind of ritual, a ceremony, very much in the spirit of Zazen as a ceremony. We sit in the midst of something impossible, of human life. And as we sit in this ritual, we heal the wound of that salvation. Ceremony allows us to enter territory that our language can only point to.

[22:15]

So I invite you to participate, not with words, but with your wholehearted engagement, with your full attention, with your inviting us each to fully take our seat, wherever you are here in the hall, wherever you may be seated, those of you zooming in from home. And beginning by calling on only in our ancestors, our dharmic lineage, our karmic lineage, any of those beings who have walked the path, asking them to join us.

[24:08]

You're laying them hovering here. The Buddha, Mahabharata, Bodhidharma, Shema, and Hupalavala. Feeling the strength of this lineage of beings who have walked the path before us, who are cheering us along, holding their hands at our backs. bringing in this practice of the cultivation of metta, of the boundless heart.

[25:41]

This is a sutta that's chanted here at the temple. And it is a practice that was offered by the Buddha to his threatened monks. It is this practice of and loving heart that Buddha offered in the face of difficulty, in the face of fear, of overwhelm, of distress. So beginning by reading in and out of the heart, bringing this quality of kindness, care, compassion to whatever is here that may be true in your heart, maybe sadness, maybe annoyance,

[26:55]

Breathing in and out, practicing being with. Being with. Opening. not receiving and allowing, but to be here and to be received, known, not fast, not rejecting. And then believing in on the next inhalation Filling yourself. Breathing in through the heart. Letting the body be filled with your own care and kindness towards yourself.

[28:09]

Whatever difficulties, body, heart, and mind, you may be facing. Many ways that the pain of the world maybe resonating in you as you breathing in kindness and care knowing that you too deserve compassion Breathe out. Extending, sharing, the same, caring, love, wishes, kindness and compassion with all of the others.

[29:23]

No one here, no one at all. Those of you at all, wherever you are, extending out of the heart that cares. Extending your well wishes, your kindness outside the room to your friends, your family, your loved ones. in and out through the heart. Receiving and extending kindness.

[30:36]

Imagine that all of our collective care and volition would move out like a giant gentle wave, wider and wider circles. Touching many, many beings. loved ones with lives taken by COVID, ones suffering from the war, wars in Ethiopia, in Cameroon, in Iraq, in Syria, in Afghanistan, in Ukraine. lives upturned and species dying from climate change.

[32:09]

Sending this wave of kindness in all directions. sit together in this sea of grief and kindness. Read the names of the people who have been killed in this last stretch of time and ask you to take all of this practice Shri Bernie Glassman talked about Zazen sitting in our seat as a practice of bearing witness.

[33:16]

Just as we come to bear witness to our own suffering, we sit and bear witness to the suffering of others. to say that, of course, I will name a handful of names, but there are many, many others. No matter how many I say, there are always more. So as you sit, bearing witness to the loss of these Mr. George Floyd Jr.

[34:26]

who was 46 when he was murdered. Day 25, 2020. to the victims of the shooter, Hayden Gannon, who killed the choppers at Hopps Supermarket on May 14th. Aaron Salter Jr., age 55. Audrey McNeil, age 53. Celestine Chaney, the grandmother and great-grandmother, age 65.

[35:42]

The N. Hayward Tenney Patterson, 67. Geraldine Taylor, known and loved for her famous cheesecake, who was 62. Catherine Massey, a lifelong advocate for gun control, who died at 72. D. Morrison, 52. Pearl Young. Ran the food pantry for 25 years in her community.

[36:49]

It's 77. Roberta Jury. and Ruth Whitfield, who was 86. Just a day later, in Southern California, May 15, Dr. David Chang, 53, a married father of two who heroically disarmed a shooter of our entire name's Presbyterian Church. We've seen others in the church who were injured but didn't just die.

[38:11]

teen children and their teachers at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. Eva Morales, who was the fourth grade teacher, age 24, home teacher Garma Garcia, age 26, of women that devoted their lives to education, and the third and fourth graders. names we know so far.

[39:42]

Lexi, Ania, Rubio, who's ages unknown. Aletha Ramirez, age 10. Jo Garza. Arnoldo Guadalupe Refugees. Eliana Cruz Torres. Eli Lugo. Jayla Nicole Cigliaro. Jaycee Carmelo Levanos.

[40:49]

Jose Flores Jr. Paul, age 10. Martina Elrod, 10. Miranda Mathis, 11. Navea Rabel, 11. Julio Torres. Yes, Marie Mata. Lucia Garcia, age eight.

[42:01]

And Javier Lopez. Each name represents a whole world. Each person is unique. And each name represents hundreds of others. I'm so inviting you to speak. or say silently to yourself names of your own loved ones, friends, family who have died, including them in this field of kindness and care, this bearing witness,

[43:15]

It feels all to try more. Oh, that our robes could be wide enough to gather up all of the suffering beings in this wide, aching world.

[45:02]

our vow, our vow to be willing to turn toward, to bear witness, to sit in the midst of our excruciating discomfort, and to do this together. Know that we can hold what's too much to bear too much for anyone who wants to move past the song. Pay our care or attention. Support the end of divisiveness and hate. May we all allow ourselves to be bathed in this function of love.

[46:31]

Thank you. And you please. to every being and place. It's possible. you

[49:59]

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