This podcast is offered by San Francisco's Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening, everyone. It's good to see you all. And thank you, Kodo, for that setup and introduction. Thank you to Horan Nancy Petrin, Artanto, who invited me here. And also to my teacher, Ryushin Paul Haller. So yeah, welcome to our Wednesday evening Dharma Talk here at City Center in San Francisco Zen Center. It's good to have all of you with us. Many of you wouldn't be able to be at the Dharma Talk on a Wednesday evening in San Francisco if it weren't for the fact that we're doing this via Zoom. So there are some benefits to the fact that we're doing things in a different way. And it's great to have all of you with us.

[01:00]

A few years ago, I was living at our mountain monastery down south, Tassajara, and I was working in the kitchen as the Tenzo. And in the summertime, if you've ever been to Tassajara, it is busy, especially in the kitchen. And one person likened it to being an air traffic controller. You basically have six meals a day, and then you also have a bag lunch that you're putting on. And the meals at the end of the evening, the Tenzo sits down with the cooks that made the meal and discusses how things went. And we actually serve up the meal. We sit on a table together, and we go through each of the different courses and how... what we think about them for texture and for taste and for presentation and how they go together and sometimes we would get to the place where we would all really enjoy a certain meal that we made but then the cook would say I don't ever want to make that again that took so much effort that was so difficult and so what

[02:14]

While we were critiquing these meals and deciding what it was that we were going to maybe do next or make again in the future, we realized that we needed to have a different rating for these meals. That wasn't just how balanced it was or nutritious it was or how attractive it was, but we needed to know how much emotional energy it took to do this meal. And we started to rate them based upon monkey mind. So we had a scale, one to five monkeys. And five monkey meal would be something that really tempted us to be off in monkey mind. And if you're familiar with some of the classic Buddhist texts, you'll know that monkey mind is something that the Buddha described as a mind that's filled with drunken monkeys jumping around, screeching, chattering, carrying on endlessly. And these dozens of monkeys are all clamoring for attention. And fear, the monkey of fear, is especially loud and sounding the alarm incessantly, pointing out things that we should be aware of.

[03:22]

And so monkey mind and the different monkeys, the temptation to be in monkey mind, I guess you would say, with how busy things got. And so a five monkey mind meal, we might only make... you know, once a month, you know, or if we've already had one this week, we might just stick to one and two monkey mind meals. And it's not literal that, you know, of course it would cause this, but it just, it was a way of symbolically talking about the busyness and the complexity and the number of different things pulling at our attention and the temptation to possibly get into fear mode and I don't know if this is going to get finished. I don't know if this is going to be good. I have all those people out in the courtyard that want to eat, and are they going to be happy with this? The monkey of fear. Right now, our country is about a 10-monkey mind country.

[04:23]

The temptation to be off in fear... To be pulled in this direction and that direction. The chattering and clamoring for my attention. Has anybody felt that over the last nine months? Things clamoring for your attention. Internal fears coming up and things that just ask for you to be looking at them. Giving them attention. Making sure everything is okay. Many times things that I can't do anything about. How can I live skillfully in these times? All of this study about Zen and Buddhism, these are the times. These are the times. This is like the golden age for studying what this practice is. There has never been a time I can think of since I started studying where there was more constant daily temptation to be pulled off my mark, to be swayed this way or that way, to lose my focus.

[05:31]

what is it that I need to do for my preparation for my day? Now, when we bring in new cooks at Tassajara, we would put them through this training program using some of the French culinary traditions. And the first thing that they would teach in French cooking school is the phrase mise en place. And mise en place is essentially... putting in place, if you will, for a literal translation. But mise en place is what a chef does before they start doing any of the cooking. They might know that they've got a very busy meal that they are going to end up needing to produce. And so the mise en place, the setting in place, takes more for a meal like that. And the mise en place would essentially be something like this. The chef would come into the kitchen and They would look at the recipes. They would review the different things that were cut for them. They would go to the refrigerator and take out just the things that they needed.

[06:36]

They'd make sure the knives were sharp. They'd make sure the board was ready. They would make sure that their place was clean, that all the pots that they needed were available and clean. They would get everything set up. Because... Chefs know that once you start doing things, you've got four and five and six things going on at a time. It can really start to pull your mind in different places and you can lose track of time. You can lose track of logic. Mise en place. Setting in place. This is what a cook would do. And if you had one of these meals that's like a five monkey mind meal, the mise en place would be something that took a little bit more of a setup, a little bit more of a preparation. And in Dogen's, and Dogen being the founder of our school here in Soto Zen back in the 13th century of Japan, Dogen wrote this document called the Tenzo Kiyokun. And it's essentially instructions to people that are working in Zen monasteries in the kitchen and how to take these principles into the kitchen.

[07:40]

And... There's this one section in there. There's many sections that are just brilliant for illustrating what I'm talking about this evening. But one of them says, both day and night, allow all things to come into and reside within your mind, allowing your mind all things to function together as a whole. Before midnight, direct your attention to organizing the following day's work. After midnight, begin preparations for the morning meal. Now, apparently they stayed up pretty late when they were the cook there. And they go through all of the different elements that they need to do from talking to the different administrators about what we need to have tomorrow to checking the cellar to seeing what's available. And then all of this preparation of where you post it and then all of the different considerations for who's there and dietary restrictions. Mise en place. Setting in place.

[08:42]

And the more people you have in the monastery and the more of a difficult meal you have to prepare, or maybe the more challenging ingredients you have available to you, the more that it is necessary for the mise en place, for the setting in place, to take some time and to really hone it and to be sure that everything is there. What is our mise en place? For these times. I realized. A few months into. This pandemic. And remember when it was only a pandemic. That you had to worry about. There's so many things. That happen. And it just is ongoing. I saw a quote the other day. On January 10th. That said. Only 10 more days. Until this is not nearly over. And it just, to me, encapsulated kind of the feeling of the time of these are challenging times.

[09:49]

And realizing that my setup for the day is a little bit different than what it would be in different times. Now, of course, the basics, most of us know, outside of even Buddhism and Zen, just people would say, get your sleep. eat healthily, and get some exercise. You can check off those three things at the beginning. Am I doing those things? But what I want to talk about has to do with the principles in the monastery and the things that we do all the time here that I am now reminding myself that are such an essential part of my setup for the day, such an essential setup for how my mind and where my mind is going to go. And for how I'm going to be able to show up for other people, the emotional reservoir that I'm going to have available when things don't go as planned, because more often than not these days, they aren't going as planned.

[10:53]

One of the things that we do three times a day when we're in the monastic setting at Tassajara is we eat Oreoki. And Oreoki is, or we eat through the Oreoki process. It's the eating process. with nested tools in a cloth and bowls that are laid inside each other. And there is a process of eating where you get to eat for six or seven minutes. And the entire process of Oreoki takes about 40 minutes. So very little of it has to do with actual eating. And so much of it has to do with the process of setting everything up and getting it in place so that then you can eat. And when you're doing oreoche, you do one thing at a time. And when you pick up a bowl, you pick it up, touching it with two hands.

[11:57]

And when you move an object, you move it with two hands. And when you bring it up to your mouth, you hold it with two hands and you still sit in zazen posture. And you give each object your attention. And I can't tell you how many times in the last nine months I did not feel like I had the time to give the thing in front of me my full attention. In fact, the momentum of not giving things my full attention has caused me... in many cases, an underlying level of anxiety that was completely unnecessary. And I can remember many days feeling like I just didn't have time. And then when I reviewed the day, I would be realizing I did actually read at least an hour's worth of news today. I did actually do this or do that. I did listen to this. I did watch that. Is there a way that I can learn what it is that my spirit is benefited by when I am actually giving something my full attention?

[13:05]

Can I start with something small? Can I start with something in my life? When I am eating, I am only going to eat. And I'm going to pick up my pizza with two hands. And I'm going to put it down with two hands. And I'm not going to have a conversation while I'm eating. And I'm not going to listen to the radio or watch the TV. And my phone is going to be in airplane mode. Is there some sort of way, whatever it is, where I can get back to the fact that there is time to set myself up in a way that I can make the meal? Relationships with objects. I realize that there are some objects that I can... Esteem highly and other things that I can just rush right through. I can take a mobile phone and put it in my back pocket or throw it in a chair. Or I could make it something that I realize has all of the great technology of the world in it that they would marvel at 30 years ago if I could hold this in my hand.

[14:11]

And every time I pick it up, I pick it up, just touch it with two hands and put it down with two hands. And find some sort of home, a place that it lives. In the Tenzo Kyokun, there's a place for everything. And the high pots go, and the small pots go on the high shelf, and the big pots go on the small shelf. And you put them there with two hands. And then the things that aren't so attractive that I just rush right through, they can be symbolic of my relationships. Or they can be the thing that's old that I'm used to in my house or in my kitchen. Something that I'm not inclined to revere. Dogen says, never view the ingredients from some commonly held perspective. Do not be negligent and careless just because the materials seem plain. Nor hesitate to work more diligently. Nor hesitate and work more diligently with materials of superior quality.

[15:17]

What would it be to give the objects in my life that kind of reverence and to have relationships with them and to know that this phone, when I first wake up in the morning, I am not going to pull up the news. And when I'm going to bed, you know, maybe I realize, okay, half an hour before I go to bed, this just goes in its place. It has a home. It goes in its place. I put there with two hands. And I give my mind a way to calm down from the day and to not be pulled. by that fear and that compulsion, that momentum of all the activity that is going on up here. Because right now I am getting fed more activity and more ways to get pulled off center than I have in a long time. And for me to set myself up for success for the day, to be able to be there for other people, to have the emotional energy, I need to be honing some of these principles intentionally. I'm only giving you a few examples. And you might find those of your own.

[16:21]

But I find that relationships right now, especially with technology, is incredibly important. And knowing what it is that I can actually deal with. What is it that I can actually digest? How much can I actually take? Right now, I'm getting more information about the world than what I ever could have in the past. It used to come in newspapers. Before that, you might find out things every few weeks. And how much can I actually do with a lot of that that comes my way, other than worry or talk to a friend about it? I can guarantee you that if we fast-forwarded in the future 40 years and there was some sort of a way for me to find out what happened in every single house in Hayes Valley around this Zen Center, I might get really stressed out about that, all the stuff that I currently don't know. And currently, I'm blessed by the fact that I don't have to edit that out because I don't know that it's going on. But there's already too much that's going on.

[17:25]

And what is my relationship with technology? What is going to set me up for success knowing that when I pick this phone up, it is likely to be a five-monkey day? We've got all these tools that we practice and hone over time. And one of the most bedrock pieces of our practice is our Zazen practice. And when we sit Zazen, we know what it's like to be distracted and to sit down and to have things just coming up, body sensations, phenomena of the mind, worries, and all the rest of it. I kind of jokingly say Zazen is where we practice to be human. It's you go and you sit on the seat and you see your phenomena. You feel your phenomena. You're in the middle of your phenomena. And because we've made these rules where in most cases you have a blank wall with nothing in front of it and you keep the door closed and so something can't bother you.

[18:32]

So you have limited amount of distraction from everything else. And then I can see all of the things that are going on. And realizing that. If I go to war with myself on a day when I'm sitting Zazen and everything is pulling me this way and that way, it's just going to make it worse. And when things start pulling me in different directions and I'm inclined to chase them, to add things to them, to add stories to the phenomenon that's just popped up, just like when I'm in Zazen, is there a way that I can go, hmm, and not add something to it, to not chase it, maybe not to even click on it, to maybe not hear it and then have to run a narrative in my head for three minutes about it. So that's what's happening. In Zazen, we learn to not set our expectations too firmly for how Zazen is going to go.

[19:36]

We sit down and we learn what's going on today. right now in this moment. And I often joke with people that our expectations just play tricks on us. I don't know what's going to happen today. But if you have ever gone down a ski slope, you know that there are some ski slopes that have these bumps on them called moguls. And they're put there on purpose because people want to have the experience of skiing on, around, These mounds of snow. But if you didn't know there were going to be moguls, and you were just expecting this nice, great slope to go down slowly, and all of a sudden there were moguls, it might be disturbing. But the expectation is all the difference. The expectation is all that's happening that is the difference between being very annoyed and things being, hmm, that's what's going on.

[20:37]

I mean, to take it into another extreme, when you're skiing on moguls, your body might get jolted this way and that way and this way and that way. But you expect your body to get jolted all around. Now, if you were on a city bus and you were getting jolted all around, feeling the exact same body sensations that you were when you were getting jolted in a way that you expected it, you might get very annoyed at either the people or the bus driver or the way that they paved the city streets or what have you. It's the exact same sensation. When I get up in the morning sometimes these days, I just say to myself, there probably will be moguls. And not be too surprised if things go sideways. Setting the expectations too firmly is something we learn through our zazen practice that we let go of. And we just go around the next bend and we see the next person. And we find out, hmm, so that's what's going on.

[21:41]

So what are we preparing for? I think of this, there was a title to an album in the 1990s that I always liked by a band called Mazzy Star. And the album's title was So Tonight That I Might See. So Tonight That I Might See. And it always made me wonder, what is it that's going to take place for this person so that then they're going to be able to see? Is it literal like they're going to go to the optometrist? Or is it something that they're going to do? There's some sort of unstated setup that's happening that then they might see. And this is why we're preparing is so that we might have a little better clarity, a little better vision and a little better, I guess you would say availability in our spirit for what it is that happens.

[22:45]

Because our perception is something that is never a hundred percent. Sometimes I feel like if I get the 1% perspective, which of course we're just throwing out random numbers now, but if I got, you know, they have the analogy of like looking at the world through a straw. Um, um, what is it that's going to help us see? And these things that we're doing is so that we can see because what we're engaging in is the phenomena of life with other individuals during times that are very turbulent. And I can remember visiting Yellowstone one time and there was this really interesting thing that I saw in one of the climbs way up high. Just, I mean, the valley was so far down below and there was this rock slope next to the path that just slowly edged going outward. And about maybe five feet out, there was this red rope on it. And there was a sign that said, it might be harder to return than it appears. And it seemed like the rope was way far back.

[23:51]

I was like, well, you could climb out way further than that. And there was one of the folks working in Yellowstone up there. And I heard him talking to a few other people. And what he was saying was, is that people in the past, before they put that rope out there, used to die. There were a few people every year that would fall off that slope because the perception was I can get back from where it is that I've gone. And it's a gradual slope overlooking this, you know, several hundred foot drop. And it was this nice, smooth rock. And it seemed like you could just, once you got out there, you could look and then you could turn around and you could go back. But he said the perception fooled so many people with the slope of that rock. They had to put this sign up there, and they had to put this red rope. And that's how I feel a lot of these days, is that I want to be able to have the perspective of, okay, that's enough news. Okay, that's enough input.

[24:51]

Okay, I've just had this and such go on. I need to maybe do some yoga for 10 minutes. I need to breathe. Looks like I need to eat. It always feels, when I'm in momentum, like I can keep going. But can I really get back safely from where I've walked out to? The perspective of what it is that I should do is something that is very valuable in this point in time. Maybe you've heard of the Taoist story. Of the man whose horse runs away. And the horse runs away. And his neighbor says, oh, that's really unlucky. And the man says, well, maybe. But then the horse actually rounds up three other wild horses and returns to his property. And his neighbor says, oh, that's pretty lucky. Now you've got three extra horses and your original horse. And the man says, well, maybe.

[25:54]

And then his son is riding one of the wild horses and his son falls off and breaks his leg. And his neighbor says, oh, that's pretty unlucky. And the man says, well, maybe. And then the next day the military come around and they say there's going to be a draft in the village and all of the young men and women need to go to war. And his son isn't chosen because he has a broken leg. And his neighbor says, wow, that was pretty lucky. And he says, well, maybe. We don't necessarily know what's going on. We take our best stab at it. We set ourselves up so that maybe we can see a little bit. And to know what sort of preparation even needs to be... undertaken based upon what sort of action what sort of meal we're going to be making and to be able to see what the moment is asking for what sort of action there's all sorts of things I'm inclined to do am I going to be helping things or am I not going to be helping things one really good example about activity and taking action is that for lack of a better example there's

[27:17]

maybe two major camps. And one would be the sort of action, like when I think of something needs to be done and there's a project that needs my attention, I think of taking action like, you know, almost like this. I'm doing something. I'm taking action. I'm moving forward. You know, in the moment, I am doing something. There's other projects that are just the opposite of that. And all they are is set up. For instance, falling asleep. When you go to sleep, typically what you do is you set things up. Your bed, what you're going to do beforehand, the preparation. But then you lie down and I don't go, okay, I'm going to fall asleep. Here we go. One, two, three. No, I don't even know when I fall asleep. All I ever do is I set it up. I set it up and I prepare so that sleep might happen. Sometimes that's the sort of action that I might need to take. I might just need to set things up and let it unfold.

[28:20]

Or I might need to set things up and take action in a more overt sort of way. Knowing that in these sorts of times can be incredibly important. And right now, I think that the most important thing... for me has to do with my impact on the people around me in these times, because everyone is going through these times. We're going through an intensive right now with tension, Rob Anderson. And one of the quotes I wrote down from his talk the other morning was teaching and being taught. Let's hang on a minute and see if Michael returns.

[29:43]

Sorry about that. My internet dropped. Don't know how that happened. And I'm on a landline on a wired connection. The greatest impact... has to do with the next person that I meet in this pandemic and to let someone be heard and to be able to show up for them in their five monkey day and to be able to be there in a way where I can hear them and encourage them in their practice. I'm very thankful for our Tonto. She's someone that shows up and encourages me all the time. And has made it so much easier to be in this pandemic, in this role, just by how she hears me. I always feel heard by her. And it's a true gift, is to be there in a way for other people during these times where they feel heard by you.

[30:57]

And that is facilitated by how we have got our mise en place set up. and how we have interacted with our media and our phone, how we have interacted with the different things in our life that set us up in a place where we can be there for each other. Teaching and being taught by others is the content of our awakening. There's all sorts of things that we might need to take action on. There might be social issues, political issues. It is just unbelievable the number of things that you might dedicate your time to in these times, and it would be incredibly relevant. And I also know that if I don't have my house in order, I could do harm without realizing it. And I might think that it was fortunate that the horse came back, or I might think that it was unfortunate that my son broke his leg.

[31:59]

But... I'm trying to be able to set that perspective and to be able to find what it is so that tonight I might see. Right now, right now is the golden age of preparation for difficult times. The Buddha lived in times in the Indo-Gangetic plane where there were all sorts of wars and struggles and and loved ones that were killed and villages that were destroyed. There was all sorts of carnage that was around during the time of his life. That was not a settled time. And one never has to understand their preparation in any greater way or can learn anything more about it than during times like these. This is the golden age of seeing the golden age of seeing what our impact might have on other people as they don't have as much of an emotional reservoir.

[33:07]

It's a golden age of seeing how I'm not able to show up and hear someone because I am stressed because I don't have as much to give today because I am just not there. And I'm not meaning to say that if we do X, we will get Y. And if you do X, you'll be able to show up for everyone. We're talking in schools of direction and thought that can lead us up and set us up for success. I don't know when it is that I fall asleep. I just know that I set myself up for it. This is the golden age for seeing where we can have an impact on all the things that are bigger than us. in the little bits that we actually can do something with it might be like surfing with a giant wave and all of the beauty and power of this universe that created that wave from the time the water came out of the sky and the way that the earth shifted and the gravitational pulls i had so little control and all the people that taught me all the things that i learned how to do and taught me how to surf and taught me how to swim

[34:24]

And taught me all these different things in the neurobiology from my great-grandmother. Who knows all the things that go into one moment of being able to be on a surfboard. And all I can do is just pay attention to how that wave is unfolding. It is so much bigger than me. And if I can find just that one little thing and try to be there with that, that's the only gift that I have today to receive and to give back. We're learning how to lay down that worry of what we can't control and setting ourselves up so that we can walk over to the sink and just wash our bowl. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma.

[35:25]

For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

[35:33]

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