This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. We have a room full of future Buddhas. Do you know that Maitreya Buddha sits with his feet on the ground? He doesn't sit cross-legged. That came to me suddenly during Sazen. Because I don't know how many of you think sitting on a chair is kind of third grade Sazen. No, first grade is lotus posture. Second grade is kind of Burmese posture. Actually, it's fourth grade. Third grade is sitting on a Sesa bench.

[01:01]

And then the last one is sitting on a chair. So suddenly I thought, oh, the future Buddha is depicted as having both feet on the ground. So we are a room full of future Buddhas. So when you go back to the center, remember that when you sit in a chair. And there's no first, no second, no third, no fourth grade. It's just one Buddha. It gave me great relief to think that. It shifted my way of being present for it. really interesting. So this is the first day of sitting. Who is actually here sitting their very first six-day session? Is there anybody?

[02:03]

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. That's a lot of people. So congratulations. that's very courageous of you and requires extra help of kindness, of just gentleness and spaciousness, of which I want to talk a little bit about. And it's often the third day is often a little more tumultuous, a little more dysregulating, a little more agitating because, you know, we have all kind of stuffed away and tightly closed doors in our beings or drawers, so those just open by themselves and stuff comes up that we might not have expected, we might not want to deal with or have not wanted to deal with.

[03:21]

And here it is, presenting itself. So that's part of it. And we could feel it this morning in this end or more. Utensils fell down than the first two days during Orioki. It's just, which is not the problem at all, but it's just an indicator that there is a little less calmness, maybe, available. So Rumi says, out beyond ideas of right-doing or wrong-doing, there is a field. I have to read it. I thought I knew it by heart, but I don't. Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.

[04:28]

Ideas, language, even the phrase each other doesn't make any sense. And that's what we're doing for six days. Our bodies, our beings are meeting in that grass. It's also the field where the door, where the two worlds meet, is always open. And people walk back and forth across that sill. Our bodies sync up. And doing that all the time, whether we know it or not, So we are giving the mind, the mind, the department of our mind that is about ideas, is about language, concepts, we give that department time off for six days.

[05:42]

We just don't visit it or when we get suddenly Elevator stops there, and we step into it, we step back out. So we do not engage, or when we have engaged, disengage from the stories we tell us. That is particularly important to disengage from the stories which come up with memories. We can notice the story but we are encouraged not to spin it, not to, A, not to believe it, to just see that's the best explanation that I came up with, but that's different than believing it. And not identifying with the story or what it is telling you, us about ourselves or other people,

[06:48]

to just see it as a story. Because stories are a lineup of concepts, and they have to make sense, and they have to have a beginning and an end, which kind of does something very limiting to the actual experience. A concept is like there is an experience which is actually a continuously evolving, moving experience gets overlaid by a concept which has a shape. And the experience basically that is alive and is in continuous process gets trapped in that concept.

[07:49]

And what it does, it separates us away from the actual experience and separates on some level what has been oneness of subject and object in two separate entities. An object, the concept, creates an object and leaves us as subject that then relates to the concept. So we are in some ways already getting divided. So stories in that way are shaping and maintaining certain things in fixed positions. So Dogen talks really beautifully about that when he, in the Genjo Koan, when he speaks about the boat that's in the ocean, that when we are in the middle of the ocean and look around, the ocean looks circular and it does not look any other way.

[09:12]

However, the features of the ocean are infinite in variety. And later in the Genjo Koan, he says, you can only see as far as your eye of practice reaches. So if we stay with the boat, so we're in the middle of the ocean, what we see and what we perceive is round, the horizon is round, and there's no other way to see it. That is the truth of that moment. When the boat moves on and land comes inside, the horizon changes. And as the boat keeps moving, the horizon keeps changing. So to keep that in mind that we always only see a part of something and that there is way more, infinitely more to whatever we perceive than what at this moment we perceive.

[10:18]

So that is one way we can kind of create spaciousness around our perceptions, sensations, feelings, thoughts that seem so true, so firm, we have so much evidence for them. To surround them with that there is infinitely more to them than we can see at this moment. That's one way we can create spaciousness. and then relax a little bit into that spaciousness. But it also allows us to become curious because if these stories that come along with such conviction, you know, we've rehearsed them so many times, we lose, they put us in a reactive mode.

[11:21]

confirm something we already know. They seem to confirm something we already know and have told ourselves in our mobile times. So that kills curiosity. That doesn't engage wonder. What else is there? Is there something I don't see? Because they also shape what we perceive going forward. So we are cultivating stillness and spaciousness. And that's very important on day three, to return to that so that we can... going between two pages back and forth.

[12:44]

So I talked about grandmother-grandfather mind, gentleness, tenderness, spaciousness. So refraining from self-aggression, like trying to change ourselves, is often based on the idea that we are not good enough, which is a subtle form of aggression. Because we keep being told this body is far beyond the world's dust. We all have innate Buddha nature that comes with being alive, that comes with being born into this form. It's cultivating self-acceptance, which is actually the foundation of spiritual growth and spiritual work, which means accepting ourselves fully and completely right now with no

[14:09]

nagging or wanting something else or arguing with it or fighting or denigrating. It's really just relaxing go. What is it? How is it? How does it feel in my body? Can I make a little space for it? Our bodies have the capacity, can I let it through rather than if it feels like it's stuck? Can I let it through? Can I offer it up to the world? Can I remember that there are innumerable people that might feel exactly right I feel right now in this universe? Because it also takes us out of the self-centered attitude, poor me, or this is just me, that this is happening to, What's happening in this world is happening to all of us, and what's happening in you is also happening to everyone in this world, to the whole world.

[15:19]

So accepting ourselves fully right now with all our flaws and imperfections. So Young, the psychologist Young says, the same thing that Buddhism says. There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection. Isn't that nice to hear? There's no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection. To round itself out, life calls not for perfection, but for completeness. And we get so hung up on perfection, which is perfection per se would be something very static as a noun.

[16:25]

Wouldn't be alive, really. And I don't know, you may all know a perfectionist or know yourself to be one and how it's never enough, it's never good enough. is a real killer of joy and energy and engagement, actually. It's a downer for yourself and for others around you. And that might be something we have hidden because everything we think we hide, we mostly hide from ourselves. So one day, many, many, many years ago, I had a revelation and I told my friends, I think I'm a perfectionist. And they just burst out laughing and said, oh, you realize that now? That's no news to us. For me, it was news. And so that's also when in the Maha'ati, the great perfectionist says, all phenomena in the whole universe are completely open, revealed, and unrestricted.

[17:38]

Nothing is hidden. So sitting for six days allows you to unhide to yourself, to just undo this, whatever shows itself with no... Don't trap it in a concept, this is good or this is bad, or I wish I didn't have that, or I would want that from my neighbor who can sit still for half an hour and I can maybe not, or any of that. Just drop that. Let that go. There's no need for it. And there's also, you won't get the certificate at the end of the six days. There's no test you have to do. there is the only test somebody has to do is the chuseau. And we're all going to test him, so that's good. But that's the only test that's going to happen during this whole practice period.

[18:39]

And it's actually, as a secret, it's a no test. Because it's empty of inherent... So, there is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection. To round itself out, life calls not for perfection but for completeness. And for this, the thorn in the flesh is needed. The suffering of defects without which there is no progress and no ascent. And that's what Buddhism says, is the unique opportunity of being born into the human realm because there is suffering which helps us, engages us to work with, and there is liberation possible.

[19:42]

There's joy and there's suffering. If we were born in the realm of the gods, we would have no incentive to practice We will just be couch potatoes, enjoying. We get everything. There's no irritation. Babies that have perfect mothers do not thrive as babies do not thrive that have bad mothers. The babies that thrive the most are babies that have good enough mothers. Perfect mothers don't give the baby challenges it has to work with. They develop, like trust fund babies, for example. They have the hardest life. We think, oh, they have everything they want, but because they have everything they want, they never have to assert themselves.

[20:46]

They can just change what they're doing if there's a problem, because they can. while we have to struggle with our co-workers, with our co-residents, which create struggles for us, which we think they create, but they're our struggles. And so there's where we can grow. If that's not there, nothing happens. We kind of, we wither away. So trust fund babies often have absolutely no core. They can just always do what they would like to do. And the ones that are too deprived can't practice either because they're just surviving. So that's what he means. So

[21:48]

When something arises that is difficult or that may be from past trauma, then what I talked about in the last sitting, when you notice, step back. Just don't create too much spacelessness for that. Step back. center yourself in your body, and then when you feel like you can look at it, you can approach it with curiosity and not give it power over you, but you are here and you're with, you're witnessing, then you approach it. When you notice that you get caught up and get dysregulated, you step back, you pause, you concentrate on your breath coming and going, You feel that you're sitting surrounded by other people that sit with you.

[22:50]

You listen to the sounds here. You ground yourself in the current reality of being, and then you can approach it again. So you tight-trade yourself. It's not clenching your teeth and getting through it because you won't get through it. You get past it, but not through it. So that's not helpful. So whenever in some ways our interest or curiosity leaves us, it's time to take a break, to return to your body, to return to your posture, the most upright, most relaxed in that moment. So lasting change happens not because we want to change this into that.

[24:04]

It happens when we stop struggling to change ourselves. So when we stop judging and thinking this is wrong or this is not, this is good. So when we stop struggling to change and instead bring spaciousness, relaxation, curiosity, loving kindness to our current experience, letting be what is, letting it be and in some ways entering the realm of not knowing. Because really, truly, we don't know anything. We know maybe in the moment how something feels, but what that really means, we don't know.

[25:05]

Or we don't know if we're alive in half an hour. We might not be. We never know. It's like the story that Lucy shared in her Dharma talk of the farmer who has a son and has a beautiful stallion and the stallion runs away and all the villagers come and say, how awful, what misfortune. And the farmer says, we'll see. We don't know. It appears like that right now, but who knows? So then the stallion comes back with a few mares Everybody comes, wow, you got now not one horse, but several horses. What great fortune. And the farmer's response in the same way. We don't, who knows? It appears that way, but we'll see. So then the son tries to gentle one of the horses, the wild horse is the stallion brought back, falls off, breaks his leg, and it's harvest time, so everybody goes, oh, poor man.

[26:17]

Your son can't help you with the harvest. That's a terrible disaster. He has the same response. So then war comes, and all the young men are called to war, but the young man is spared because he has a broken leg, so no one wants him to go fight. And everybody thinks, what great fortune. And we usually treat everything, oh, this is good, and then it is good, you know. We fix it, and this is bad, and we fix it. And it tosses us back and forth. So the practice is letting everything be, letting everything have its time, letting everything open to change. That also means letting your mind that wants to see this person as this annoying or whatever, irritating being, let it be open to that they are more than that.

[27:25]

You know, the African-American lawyer who works with people on death row, African-Americans, Steven Stevenson, something. Anyway, he says a murderer is not just a murderer. His TED talk is like the talk of a bodhisattva, how he talks about his work, and he created a whole organization around it. So if we can create that understanding that we perceive something or see something the way we do, but that is not the whole story. And we don't reduce another person to that view we have at the moment, which might be a lot of projection, might actually not have much to do with the person, but we see them that way, to create that openness around them that they could be totally different.

[28:34]

that we only really only see a slice of reality all the time because we always have a position, we always are in some state of being, so we never see the whole picture. So it's an ongoing discovery. Thor Dogen says, when you practice intimately and return to where you are, which is always where your body is, it will be clear that nothing at all has unchanging self. Nothing at all. Not in here, not in this body, not around you, not the other people.

[29:44]

So if you get challenged on this third day, then the things that arise ask for your attention, your kindness, for space, for acknowledgement, for forgiveness, and for integration. So and you titrate that request. You decide how much of that you can offer at the moment and what you can't offer at the moment. What's too much, then take care of yourself. Nobody is asking you to push. Nobody is asking you to collapse. Nobody is asking you to fight. It's really, can we just be and let everything else be as well?

[31:00]

So Hafez says, I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being. We all carry a light, and Blanche used to sing, this little light of mine, let it shine. It's one of her favorite songs she would often bring to Dharma talk. And that is what Hafez is pointing to, that we all have good a nature. We all have access to that, and that what is, is it's clouded over by our conditioning and our judgmental mind, and also cultural conditioning, personal conditioning. So, I also wanted to tell you that since we thought we would have a silent day tomorrow again where we could all sit in the zendo together,

[32:23]

There's no practice discussions, but on my list already are 15 people. So I don't know how that's going to work. And that's only day three, and probably some of you think, oh, I'm going to sign up tomorrow or the next day. And there's only so much time in the day. So I'm debating... different things. Should we not have a silent day or everybody has a silent day but myself and the people that want to see me or do I do a group practice discussion which are actually quite wonderful or what to do and I have to think about that. I haven't come to a conclusion. But what I wanted to say is please one or two practice discussions in six days is plenty.

[33:29]

Please do not shop around to have a practice discussion with every practice leader on the list. That is too much practice discussions, that defies the idea of a sesshin, to be with yourself and grow through that, and it takes the place of other people that might want to have a practice discussion. So it's a little bit like when we have food that we serve ourselves to have a little bit of sense of what the food looks like and how is it shared so that everybody gets, for example, the roasted vegetables on top that we have now twice. So the first people kind of, it's nice, they skim off the top and that leaves the people later to just get what's below. to keep that awareness and that generosity of sharing with everybody the practice discussions, the food, the time we have.

[34:39]

So I will send you back to the center with a poem also by Hafez that goes, it's called Silence. A day of silence can be a pilgrimage in itself. A day of silence can help you listen to the soul play its marvelous lute and drum. is not most talking a crazed defense of a crumbling fort. I thought we came here to surrender in silence, to yield to light and happiness, to dance within in celebration of love's victory. A day of silence can be a pilgrimage in itself.

[35:59]

A day of silence can help you listen to the soul play its marvelous lute and drum. It's not most talking a crazed defense of a crumbling fort. I thought we came here to surrender in silence, to yield to light and happiness, to dance within in celebration of love's victory. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Domo.

[36:59]

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