This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. So once again, welcome to Hoshinji, Beginner's Mind Temple. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Kansan David Zimmerman, no longer. It is now 10 Zen. David Zimmerman. So I have a name change. And it's wonderful to see all of you and have you all be here tonight on this particular occasion. I first want to start by expressing deep appreciation and gratitude to our Buddhist teachers and ancestors, particularly to the founder of our school, Ehe Dogen. as well as the founder of this particular center, Shunriyo Suzuki Roshi, and last but not least, my dear teacher, Hokai T.S.

[01:09]

Stroser, who's sitting over there in the corner, discreetly. Yesterday morning, through the generosity of my teacher, I completed a three-week ceremony. that is known as Dharma Transmission. And it's part of our tradition that right after someone has completed this Dharma talk, within a short period of time, they give a Dharma talk, saying a little bit about what the ceremony, the meaning of the ceremony is, as well as one's own experience of having gone through the particular ceremony. So that's what I'm going to do tonight. I remember, I think it was the very first time that I had heard someone give their post-Dharma transmission lecture, and I believe it was Darlene Cohen at Tassajara. And she sat down, and one of the first things she said, as I recall, is, I feel and look like a giant truffle.

[02:15]

Now, I'm not sure if she meant a chocolate truffle or, you know, the mushroom truffle, but... Chocolate, yeah, that's right, she was a chocolate addict. So, anyhow, aside from the color of the robe, I think what I imagine she felt, as I do, is this kind of very soft, tender, complex, and sweet residue that has come from going through this particular ceremony and transformation. And so I'm still reverberating with that and relishing it and appreciating it, and hopefully I can share some of that with you tonight. So, what can one say about Dharma transmission? I could take the root of our Chinese Zen ancestor, Yanshan, who, when asked by his teacher, Guishan,

[03:20]

what he thought about Dharma transmission having gone through it, said basically he had nothing to say about it. And furthermore, to say anything about it would be to besmirch the ceremony itself. And that all that he could do now was to sleep when he felt sleepy and to eat when he felt hungry. I can identify with that. LAUGHTER And so maybe I should just stop now, stop talking. We can all go home and have a good night's rest. But I think the abbot here, Hoju-san, would be maybe a little annoyed with me for doing so. So for his benefit, I will continue to make a grave error and talk further about this experience. You know, the thing is that Yan-shan knew what the meaning of

[04:21]

dharma transmission was. But he didn't want to fossilize it in some way. He didn't want to have it be kind of contracted and made into something that was dead. And for him, not speaking to it kept the experience alive, this moment-by-moment experience. So there's nothing special about it. In fact, in every moment, Our life is being transmitted to us. Life is transmitting life. And so all we need to do is open up to this flow of life, of love, and recognize that nothing is missing. Everything we ever need is right here, at the heart of being itself. Can you feel that?

[05:26]

There's nothing you need. Always come back to that. For the benefit of those of you who have no idea what this particular ceremony is about, I'll give a little context. There are three significant Dharma gates, or rites of passage, for someone to become a Zen teacher. One of them is ordination, either lay ordination initially, or priest ordination, which basically means that you take the precepts. You take the precepts and commit to living the life of a bodhisattva. The second particular gate is what's called becoming shuso, or head monk. And this is an initiation in which you share the seat with the abbot during a three-month training period. And in the process, you are allowed to begin teaching, kind of like training wheels.

[06:35]

You become a teacher in training, if you will. And then, quite a number of years later, at some point, you may be invited to go through Dharma transmission or Dharma entrustment, depending on what you and your teacher decide. So Dharma transmission is a combination of sorts. What it does is it bestows on a person a recognized position in the Buddhist lineage. Also the authority to teach and to be recognized as a teacher of one's own, fully in one's own right. And then finally, also the authority, particularly if you're a priest, to perform certain esoteric ceremonies, including offering the precepts and perhaps someday Dharma transmission as well. My teacher's teacher, Sojin Mel Weitzman, who would therefore be my Dharma grandfather, says that Dharma transmission refers to the result of a long relationship and a mutual understanding between a teacher and a disciple.

[07:48]

or what's called a dashi. It bestows a sense of acknowledgement and confirmation. Basically, it's a sense of confidence in the disciple's capacity to uphold, embody, and convey the teachings of the Buddha and the Dharma. Mel also said that being a Dharma transmitted teacher authorizes one to be an independent teacher acting interdependently with others. To be an independent teacher acting interdependently with others. Zen is kind of unique in that there is traditionally a very long gestation period for the period of time in which one becomes a teacher, a full-fledged teacher. And... At San Francisco Zen Center, it's fairly common for it to be traditionally 15 to 20 years, sometimes longer, before someone is invited by their teacher to take up Dharma transmission.

[08:59]

And I think this is in large part because our practice in Zen is so focused on the experiential and the embodiment of our realization, our understanding and our expression of that. And so it's not a scholarly or intellectual endeavor. Even though we do study, even though we try to, as best we can, take up the understanding of the historical context and teachings, this is an embodied practice. And it's taken us this long as karmic beings to become the mess that we are. And it takes as long, if not longer in some cases, to undo ourselves. that particular mess, to the point that maybe we can support others to also undo their own mess. So we're training and developing someone to the point in which they are no longer, and to the point where they see who they really are much more clearly.

[10:01]

And they are no longer being co-opted or trapped by their particular karmic formations or habit patterns. and that they're also able to live as best they can from the place of an awakened heart-mind. This is what we look for in someone who is a teacher. I think all of you really look for that. When you see someone, you look for how they express the Dharma, but more so, you look for the resonance, the feeling of how they are as beings with each other. with you, how they live their lives. That is the expression of the Dharma. Before I say more about my particular experience of going through Dharma transmission, I thought I'd just give a little bit personal narrative about how it is that I got here in the first place, and how it is that I met my teacher, Tia.

[11:09]

I came here for the first time approximately 26 years ago. It was, I believe, January of 20, 1991. And what brought me here in part was, on one side there was my father who was dying of cancer, and we had never had a very close relationship. So I was looking for a way to reconcile our relationship, to find a way to be closer, to be more open to him and to how he was with me. and to see him for the full human being that he was. The other part of it was I wanted to learn how to be presence. I wanted to learn how to be that which I had always yearned and longed for growing up, and which I never quite received from those around me, from my family, and for most cases, from others in my life. And so, I had been in California for a year or two and hadn't heard about meditation, and I thought, okay, I'll try it out.

[12:15]

So I asked a friend where I could learn how to meditate, and he recommended the Zen Center, and I came here. And immediately there was a resonance for me in being here in this practice. I don't know 100% what it was. Sometimes I joke, I used to be in a children's home when I was very young, and so I joke that this spiritual religious community, and it was a Mennonite children's home, reminds me, of the children's home. And so I felt somehow comfortable being here because that was kind of an early part of my life, and I recognized it. But in any case, I started coming somewhat frequently. Saturday Dharma talks for sure, an evening meditation at times. But I didn't really get so involved in the community. I came and then I kind of left, and I didn't connect with others so much. And over the period of time, I would also check out other Dharma centers and sitting groups, including the Gay Buddhist Fellowship, looking for some way to kind of continue to deepen and sustain my practice.

[13:18]

I met my root teacher, T.S. Drozer, in the summer of 1999. It was August, I believe, in 1999. And I had just returned from living for two years in Indonesia. And as part of coming back, I wanted to find a way to ground myself again here in the States, but particularly to return more to my Zen practice. And so I signed up to do an intensive, which ended up being a sushin here. And Tia, who was tanto at the time, was supposed to be leading it or co-leading one or the other. And however, I believe her mother, at the time, had just died, and so she missed most of this retreat in Sashin. And I only met her on the very last day. But she was leading what is called Seredi Sangha, which is a group that she started about a year or so before.

[14:20]

And so I started coming to Seredi Sangha, which is a group for non-residential practitioners, regularly and getting to know Tia more and study with her to the point that within a year or so I decided that I wanted to take the precepts and receive the Bodhisattva precepts from Tia. And then about, oh, six months later, I decided that I needed to get even more serious about my practice and that I was going to move into Zen Center. So I gave up my search for a meaningful career and graduate school and thought, I'm going to focus on, rather than what to be in the world, on how to be in the world. And I hope that perhaps Zen practice would show me the how, and at some point that would manifest into a what eventually. Here I am, 17 years later, living both the how and the what. And very, very grateful for this, having found this.

[15:24]

Tia has been extremely patient with me. I am a slow student. She's been very kind, generous, encouraging, challenging at times. From the first time I heard her speak, I knew there was something there. I said to myself, this one's got something. I want to study with her. And so I've been very fortunate to continue for so many years. And I look forward to many, many more. So, how did this whole process of what we know as Dharma transmission begin? The Zen Buddhism's own ancestral narrative begins when the Buddha recognizes his disciple, Gashapa, as his one true successor. And so what happened is there was this assembly at a place called Vulture's Peak, and it was attended by hundreds of the Buddha's followers, many of the most accomplished.

[16:38]

And the Buddha gets up on the lectern, like I did, and rather than say something, he holds up a flower and twirls it. And I know many of you have heard this talk, this story, a hundred times before, but it's a very seminal moment. in the history of Buddhism. All those in the audience, such as yourself, basically sat there in silence, just looking, except for one person, Kashapa. Kashapa looked up and smiled. And in that moment, something happened that enabled the Buddha to declare, I have the treasury of the true Dharma I, the ineffable mind of nirvana, the real form of no form, the flawless gate of the teaching, not dependent on words. It is a special transmission outside tradition.

[17:40]

I now entrust it to Mahakashapa. So, however historically accurate this story might be, I think it tells us two things. First, that the essence of what the Buddha taught is simple and ineffable. Holding up a flower is one expression of the unnameable essence. And secondly, the very simplicity and ineffability of this essential teaching requires that it is handed down in a lineage from master to disciple, just as Buddha did to kashapa, in a mutual, wordless understanding. So it's not a matter about a Zen training program or a certificate or mastery or accomplishment of some program of some sort.

[18:48]

It's much more than that. It's as Bodhidharma says, mind-to-mind transmission outside of the scriptures. So it's basically a communication of a deeply intimate relationship with the unnatural, awake nature of all being. So what happened in this exchange between the Buddha in Gashapa, was a meeting. A meeting. It's a special kind of meeting, though. It was one of mutual recognition, of discovery, of communion. It was an intimacy beyond beliefs and concepts. It was awareness meeting awareness.

[19:52]

awareness meeting awareness. There are no words to express that. And this order of meaning would become enshrined in the rest of Zen, in the heart of Zen itself. And enshrine and continue to be transmitted down throughout the rest of history up until this very day. From Zen's point of view, well, Shakyamuni Buddha may have been fulfilled as a human being at the moment of his awakening because that's what awakening is about. Fully seeing and becoming human. Even so, this tradition is basically saying it's not until he transmitted to Mahakashapa

[20:57]

but the Buddha really became fulfilled as a teacher. This is what's required to become a teacher. By concluding, I have entrusted to Mahakashapa, the Buddha mind seal, the Buddha established the Dharma lineage is one of trust. The Buddha was trusting Mahakashapa to properly transmit and teach the Dharma. And so there's both this public acknowledgement aspect of Dharma transmission, letting everyone know, I trust this being to express and share the Dharma. And then there's this very also private mind-to-mind recognition.

[22:03]

And there are certain parts of the jharma transmission that are very, very private, some might say secretive, but really just between the teacher and the disciple because it's that intimate of an exchange. As Master Ungan said to Master Tozan, now you have it, so keep it well. And do not let it be cut off in the entire future. Do not let it be cut off means to be Buddha going beyond Buddha. Even if you have awakened completely, do not just hang out in your awakening. You have to share the Dharma. You are obligated. full awakening requires that you actually share the Dharma with others, that you support others in their own process of liberation. Buddhas going beyond Buddhas is what this is.

[23:09]

So what was the three weeks of this particular ceremony like for me? Well, Dharma transmission as a ceremony is kind of designed to be a transformative container, a cocoon, if you will, in which one enters, in my case, a black-robed priest and comes out the other side something brown-robed and changed in some mysterious, unfathomable way. Ceremonies are containers. Ceremonies as containers are very mysterious. We really don't understand what happens as we enter into them and the way in which they work their magic on us and transform something. We can't predict what's going to come out on the other side. The ceremony I did of 21 days, the container included the following. There were, of course, this is Zen, several periods of Zazen every day.

[24:19]

some with the community, some at home with myself. Also something called ajundo, which was an early morning round to the various altar temples, temple altars, with an attendant offering fragrance and boughs and words of acknowledgement to each of the beings represented by that particular altar. and doing so supported by many of you who served in the role of Jundo, both as residents and many also non-residents who came. I also did a personal service at home each day, acknowledging the ancestors, acknowledging Suzuki Roshi, my teacher, all others who have served as teachers in my life. And actually also for all of you, I did a chant at the end, Meijuku Kanengo for the Sangha. for all of you, for your well-being and happiness. There was also study time.

[25:22]

And at the very end, there were four days of 12 hours of calligraphy. Pretty arduous. And actually going through that, I've decided I'm going to take up calligraphy. So I actually enjoyed it a lot. It's a very great meditation practice. So I'm going to learn how to do Japanese, Chinese character calligraphy as a process. And then the last few days is a series of even more intimate and transformative ceremonies that both convey and make manifest that transmission itself. Rituals have a very important place in our practice and they really help us to evoke a much greater intimacy in how it is that we are with each other. They transformed the space. And the building itself was transformed during that time. And many of you contributed so much to that happening.

[26:25]

And what I noticed was, because of this particular ceremony, many of you became more focused yourselves. And took up not only supporting the practice of the center, but your own practice began to also take another shape. in some way became transformed. Dharma transmission as a ceremony is designed basically cleverly and uniquely to help one move through a process of letting go of the self. And if not at least fully letting go, loosening the bounds of the self. And doing so, dropping the self in order to be more vulnerable. to be more open, to be more spacious and available. And I certainly felt this during this ceremony, the way in which, you know, I just found myself much more present and available and tender all the way through.

[27:33]

And coming back to just being, just being this one. You know, it's a gift not to have to take up a role other than just being through this particular ceremony. And I was also touched by how much all of you contributed to creating the container of the ceremony through your support, picking me up in my apartment, accompanying me on the particular jindos, ringing the bells, stopping and bowing as I passed. And it was this all of you yourselves were transmitting your own being, your love of practice, and contributing into making this whole experience as complete and fulfilling as possible. So much gratitude arose for me during this time for all of you, acknowledging each one of your contribution and your practice.

[28:36]

there's a large part of Dharma Transmission Ceremony which is focused on acknowledging, honoring, and coming into a new relationship with our Buddhist ancestors. And there's a way in which, you know, I never, I'll confess, I was aware of the ancestors, I've chanted them for many, many years, I've read their histories and so on. But you do really develop a new relationship with each of these beings. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people who have practiced. Who, because of their practice, I am here today. And you are here today. How fathomable that is. And the reality is, almost all of them were people of color. What we would say in the West, people of color. So to reflect on the moment, Here we are in a tradition that's predominantly, as we see in the West, often white.

[29:42]

And to recognize that this practice has been conveyed by so many other cultures and people who don't look like me. To show and express that appreciation all the way back to the Buddha. I am now the 93rd generation. of Buddhist ancestors in our particular lineage, and I formally joined the lineage of Shinri or Suzuki Roshi. And now, I think many of you might know that the whole idea of a Zen lineage is to a certain degree a historical fiction. When Buddhism came to China, China is a culture that is strongly shaped by Confucianism, and with a strong emphasis on ancestral pedigree. And part of a way of making sure that Buddhism was acceptable in China was to come up, identify a pedigree, and so a list of ancestors was created.

[30:53]

However, there are a lot of holes, going back, the holes in the Indian lineage, as well as, in many cases, holes in the Chinese lineage. And as we're aware, women were left out of the lineage. And Zen Center, I believe it was 10 years ago, acknowledging this, came up with a list of women ancestors or teachers, which we chant on a regular basis, in which... has become part of my own Dharma transmission process. So I too, through this particular ceremony, acknowledged and honored the women ancestors. Part of the ceremony that's done is called Butserai, in which bows are done for each of the ancestors. There was male ancestors in the morning, and then there were the female ancestors in the afternoon.

[31:56]

So I basically estimated that I did over 175 bows just to the ancestors, and that doesn't include the bows that were part of the other ceremonies that I did throughout the day. And my knees are still feeling it, believe me. One thing that I also added... to this honoring of the ancestors, and don't tell Tia that I did this, was at the very end of the female ancestors, I would also do one acknowledgement and prostration for all the queer ancestors. Because as a gay man, there's a part of me that still feels that to acknowledge the male ancestors and the female ancestors leaves something out. There's a way in which I know in my being, that many of the ancestors maybe didn't identify as male or female, or straight, you know?

[32:59]

And that the cultural circumstance in which we were there in limited their particular full expression of who they were. And so I wanted to acknowledge them. And most of them are unnamed. In fact, if you can name one queer ancestor, from the chants that we chant, please let me know. But as far as I know, there are none that we know of. I also had an opportunity to acknowledge everyone who has served as teachers in my life. And that includes dearly beloved teachers who have now parted. Steve Stuckey, who was my teacher for me when I was Shusso, head monk at Tassajara. also Lee Lip, a very close friend who died a year and a half ago, who taught me about working with people who are practicing with depression and anxiety, and taught me how to be a teacher in many ways, and many others.

[34:05]

Particularly, I want to acknowledge my family, because they are also ancestors. They are also part of the lineage of causes and conditions that brought me here, to this moment, they are also teachers. Everyone in your family is a teacher to you. It's important in our Zen practice to actually recognize and acknowledge everyone and every occasion as a teacher and a teaching. When you can do that, then every moment is a sacred moment. Everyone you meet and everything you make It's a sacred meeting. It has something to transmit to you, if you're open to it, if you're available, if you listen deeply, if you connect. During the Butserai, the bow to the ancestors, I was set up over there and the person ringing the bell would be behind the bell.

[35:11]

And I would have a little altar. That table was brought up front and the the fragrance offering would be there and the candle would be on it and then I would do bows in front of Prajna Paramita who here is the form of Tara and Prajna Paramita is the perfection of wisdom basically wisdom beyond wisdom just the kind of the state of the heart mind that is totally present in each and every one of us but it's inexpressible through words. And so I would offer fragrance, say the ancestor's name, looking into Tara's eyes, acknowledging the human form of each of these ancestors. And then as I did my prostration, I would look into the flame, into the light, and think of wisdom. think of the light, evoke the light of the Dharma.

[36:20]

The Dharma of wisdom, the compassionate heart that each of the ancestors passed on, either figuratively, if not literally. The thing is, the moment of the Buddha's awakening came when he looked up and looked at the morning star. he saw light, he looked at light, and light looked at him, and he woke up. And then, his last words before he died was basically, be your own light. Become your own teacher, in other words. Practice it in a way that you become your own teacher, that you can depend on that own intrinsic prajna paramita. Turn to that.

[37:23]

Rely on that in every moment. Live from that light. Live from that place. You are that already. Boundless, awake, spacious, self-aware. Illuminating. You are that. And this one is illuminated and we illuminate each other. This is love illuminating each other. Can you live from that place of love and light? Practice in a way in which you illuminate and live for the benefit of all beings. This is what the Buddha meant when he expressed upon his awakening, I and all sent in beings on earth together attain enlightenment at the same time.

[38:27]

So like I said at the beginning, I have a new Dharma name. And it is Miozan Tenzin. Luminous mountain, heaven like so. And I think the first part, luminous, obviously bright, light, insight, cheerful. And mountain, of course, stable, upright, dependable. Heaven, meaning open sky spaciousness. And like so, meaning as it is. Things as it is. So together, the last part, heaven like so, actually means spontaneous activity. That's what Tia was trying to evoke for me. Call me forward. My former Dharma name was Perfection Mountain. I have an anal retentive kind of grasping aspect to my personality, if you haven't noticed.

[39:39]

I like things to be controlled. And she's telling me I have a little bit further to go... be more spontaneous, to live from that place of light, to live from that place of freedom, openness, and spaciousness, always. So, Dharma transmission for me has basically been something that's undefinable at this point, unsubmittable, ungraspable. I'm still processing it. Obviously, I just came up of the cocoon yesterday, if you will. And I'm sure it's going to continue to unfold and reveal itself to me. And it will be a mystery. It will continue to be a mystery, I think, for always. And I will be in a place of don't know with it, and hopefully you will bear with me as I am in that place of don't know. Because, frankly, this is how we practice.

[40:44]

To truly practice from the place of don't know is the place of liberation. It is that place of light and open spacious awareness. So let's keep practicing together. This is what happens next. We continue practicing together, making our best effort to recognize who we truly are, to embrace that one, to completely manifest our own authentic nature, to be who we already are. In the end, what's being transmitted is a gentle, caring, and fiercely compassionate way of life. This is what we're doing here. Gentle, caring, fiercely compassionate way of life. So I want to express again my deep gratitude to all of you practicing in this way together and for being a part of this beautiful way of life.

[41:53]

So I think I'm out of time and I don't want to carry us over. Sometimes there's time for Q&A and maybe we'll leave that for beyond this particular time and space. So I just want to again express my appreciation and love for all of you because you have all supported me to be here, to be this one. So thank you so much for your love and presence. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[42:54]

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