So, good morning everyone, and I think we have sound today. Great, thank you. As you're aware, this is the third day of Sashin, and perhaps the schedule is a little more familiar and allowing you to settle a bit. And Sashin is a time to become very intimate with our body and mind. and to apply meditation instructions, observe how they work, and allow them to seep down into our muscles and our bones. In my talk on Tuesday, I spoke about meditation in terms of wisdom, or applying the teachings, and compassion, or listening to the sounds of the world. This is bodhisattva training. Abhita Bora, in his Commentary on the Heart Sutra, describes karmic unfolding.

[01:04]

All of this is from the heart. On the heart are constructed the worlds of good and ill, and the karma which has built those worlds, past and present, is moving them. However I resolve not to be greedy, my greediness appears. However I resolve not to be angry, my anger rises. Our human life is such that however we resolve not to weep over things, we come to the state of weeping. We can't finish with this life. When we can gaze steadily at our ignoble self and understand, this is itself the principle of renunciation. So tomorrow, again, as some of you are aware of things, is Valentine's Day, which is a kind of romantic commemoration of our ability to love and be loved.

[02:12]

And I think that's very personal and has elements of both joy and disappointment. However, love itself is potentially transformative, whether or not In conventional terms, it's successful. There's a poem called, and this is my version of Italian, Tu Chiami Una Vita, or You Invoke a Life, by the Italian poet Salvatore Quasimodo. And it was set to music and was the theme for a dramatization of a novel called Washington Square by Henry James. And the plot involves a young woman who is going to inherit a lot of money. And this greedy, very handsome young man decides to woo her for her money. So the heiress herself is described as not being attractive or beautiful, but she's susceptible to love.

[03:21]

You know, how could she not be in a certain way? But she's warned against the young man by her father and even by the young man's sister, and yet she's still full of this hope. And, of course, she's betrayed by the young man, but he returns several years later after her father has died, and he tries again. So I won't attempt to read Quasimodo's poem in Italian, but one... Translation is fatigue or effort of love, sadness. You invoke a life which deep inside speaks of heavens and gardens. And it is my body that the gift of sorrow transforms. So I thought about this poem and I was, you know, and I could see how it resonated with the theme of the story.

[04:25]

And as I thought about it, for some reason it really had an impact on me, these words. It turns out, I think this is correct, that Quasimodo was awarded a Pulitzer Prize as a poet. I think that's right. So maybe that's it. He's a strong poet. But I think just as we may dream or hope for romantic love and fulfillment, and find that things are a little more nuanced than that. We may have a dream of spiritual fulfillment and attainment, and also find that things are more nuanced than that. But this realization is transformative in that it kind of makes us more real and the world more real, or exactly as real as we and the world are. transformative alchemy kind of thing.

[05:28]

So this effort of love also evokes a sensibility to natural beauty, heavens and gardens. Everything has this wonderful quality to it. Perhaps, you know, as people might have imagined, the Garden of Eden or some early... manifestation or some wild place in the world that they experience is natural beauty. But this poignancy of nuanced reality returns and sort of returns one to the experience of one's own body or one's own self. And I don't think this is discouraging. this kind of, it kind of allows love and living more potential, not for accomplishment so much as for developing love for oneself and others to deeper and wider proportions, and maybe perhaps less selfish and self-concerned and more generous.

[06:46]

So in a sense, what this is really about is whether we are capable or open to transformation through our very ordinary human experience. The philosopher Elaine Skari wrote a commentary called On Beauty and Being Just. And she refers to the ethical alchemy of beauty as transformative. And this alchemy allows us both to see as beautiful what we prefer and develop a perspective of beauty towards other things. So those both have a power to change us. You know, people are often transformed by a piece of music. or a work of art, or a poem. This poem had a huge impact on me. And this is very mysterious, but it evokes something in us, you know, this sense of evocativeness.

[08:03]

She says, the equality of beauty enters the world before justice and stays longer... because it does not depend on human beings to bring it about. Though human beings have created much of the beauty in the world, they are only collaborators in a much vaster project. Ancient and medieval philosophers always refer to it acoustically. Beauty is a call. The equality of beauty enters the world before justice, and stays longer because it does not depend on human beings to bring it about. Though human beings have created much of the beauty in the world, they are only collaborators in a much faster project. Ancient and medieval philosophers always referred to it acoustically. Beauty is a call.

[09:05]

And at the same time, as I have mentioned, Human beings have this capacity for destroying beauty or not appreciating it or not seeing it as valuable. And I was wondering if this is partly a fear of transformation, you know, of developing this kind of generous non-attachment that doesn't own... or sell, or buy, in order to experience success and peace and love. It's not a barter or a bargain that these things of beauty should serve us. And it's occurred to me that this kind of resonates with my understanding of Evagris' apothea, without suffering, without passion. So instead, deeply caring, about things without needing them to serve or meet us in the way that we prefer.

[10:11]

So I think, you know, we can be on one side or the other or in the middle or something, but I've been trying to be careful because I feel like there is sort of an expectation of nature to serve us even in saying how much we enjoy it or love to be in it or have an idea of protecting it. So even then, we're sort of grasping. And in the path of spiritual endeavor, there's the final step is called unity. And it's a realization of simple yet outrageous practicality. And I think this is where that poignancy comes in. And it requires renunciation, but that's not necessarily loss. It's not all loss. It's, I think, a combination of the relief and regret that you feel when you finish some kind of important project or a book.

[11:24]

that you enjoyed or a sushin or a practice session or something like that. And this practicality kind of stretches to accommodate an overview of the rising and falling aware of reality that allows reality its own freedom as a much vaster as Elaine Scarry said. So one of the reasons Henry James makes his heiress unattractive is to contrast her sincerity and love with the shallow narcissism of this handsome young man. His beauty dazzles her, and after his betrayal... her kind of awkward sincerity develops into a deeper and more independent view of her life and her relationships.

[12:31]

And she chooses a form of independence, even though in the story it says that there were a couple of other men who were interested in her, one for her money and one for herself. She chooses this kind of independence that's... a little less trustworthy of this whole conventional intention that's, you know, informed her experience of love and, you know, the idea of marriage and children and all that kind of thing, and the power that her father and her aunt and others have had over her. So she hasn't lost the effect. of her capacity to love. She's actually been strengthened by it. In my talk yesterday, I referred to listening in silence.

[13:33]

And in the intensive class, I referred to allowing the natural world to speak to or contact us. And how this listening develops what I call understanding love. and integration of wisdom and compassion. Abbot Abhura describes the bodhisattva effort as spiritual practice to discover a power in the very midst of the sufferings of life. Profundity means technically to penetrate right into life. The bodhisattva spirit is to continue unwearied efforts in the face of failure. To the bodhisattva spirit, even failure has a sort of flavor. And I think it's difficult to not, you know, to purposely avoid failure in the anxiety of embarrassment or loss of status or whatever it might be.

[14:42]

So naturally, we kind of put on a face to survive. in this world of expectations and demands and concerns. And it's very helpful to have that skill. But it also is a little bit limiting. So I think one of the qualities of what we call sangha or community is not just a place where we're safe or comfortable or included. I mean, all those things are very wonderfully part of it. But it's also... to have that possibility when we are all making this effort to stretch those limits a little bit, you know, sort of test our fears and our desires and the fears and desires of others against reality. So a few days ago I got upset about something and considered that I had failed in some way. as well as possibly providing an example or a sort of, what do you call that, fodder for gossip and so on.

[15:54]

Now, that's a little bit narcissistic. Oh, I'm so important that somebody would worry about how I handled something. But I think that's also in the realm of the way things work. We're comparing ourselves to others. We're judging others, and it's just part of our way. and Abed al-Bora tells this story of he goes on a trip, and he comes back, and there's no one to meet him. And he's like, well, what is this, you know? And then he says, oh, okay, you know, so he gets his little suitcase, and he goes back to the temple, and there's no one to meet him at the entrance. And so then, at this point, he's getting all irritated, and he goes inside, and then... somebody comes running up and says, oh, something happened. I'm sorry we weren't able to meet you. But that irritation is still kind of there. And so he asks for a cup of tea, but in this sort of stern voice.

[16:57]

And the person says, okay, we're coming. And he realizes, you know, something has happened there. So he says... I preach about human conduct and I'm supposed to be practicing spiritual training. Am I then so pitiable I cannot swallow one word or one disappointment or one problem without an upsurge of anger? When I am brought to penetrate to the truth of that I, which is the truth of myself, when I realize what the self really is, then renunciation appears of itself, and there is already freedom from the body and heart. So in the midst of my experience or my sense of somehow failing or being a failure, I was sort of disconcerted by also being aware at the same time of some deep quiet in myself as this all unfolded.

[18:11]

and bothered me and then kind of dissipated. And I was puzzled by it and tried to analyze it or find some sort of explanation for it. But I think what it was was just a form of kind of spiritual confidence. Like I was saying earlier, you know, we're in this container. And I don't mean that as some sort of pride or sense that I've reached some level of accomplishment or something. I actually think it's a taking away that allows for that sort of confidence. But it was a sense of just being in the rising and falling of circumstances. Watching it and... you know, feeling concerned and bad, and then who talked, anyway. And I wonder if this perhaps was an awareness, you know, of that I, which is the truth of myself, and a sense that these things and experiences, these situations happen to everyone.

[19:20]

I was remembering, oh yeah, I remember when that happened and the person did that, yeah, and then I was the one on the other side, and okay, you know, this... Anyway, this rising and falling and coping and accommodating this rough kind of flow of things and how this is an endless form of learning. And remorse is a part of it, but it's not the full content of it. When David referred to this ball bouncing on the surface of flowing water, it made me think of that. how that works, I guess. And I think there are several ways to experience that and interpret it and even enjoy it. Enjoy that bouncing ball on the surface of this water. You know, the truth of our being in the midst of discomfort and boredom and memory and sorrow and that enjoyment of being alive.

[20:29]

That's part of our love and compassion that develops in us and deepens our practice and allows wisdom and compassion to inform each other. So when things go well, we can appreciate and honor and enjoy that. And when things seem not to go well, appreciate and honor and enjoy the possibilities of that. And I think this type of understanding love is what mystics often refer to as God's love. And it's not because it's outside themselves, but because it permeates ourselves and others and the world. So what a bodhisattva, even the least skilled one, develops is a container for this understanding love. Wisdom informed and enlivened by compassion and compassion and enlivened and informed by wisdom.

[21:33]

And when we extend that understanding love to the natural world, we can hear its dramas and stories and experience its beauty and tenuousness and starkness in a transformative way. From a bodhisattva view, the natural world includes us. and allows us to experience that its destruction and creation are part of everyone's body and mind. And I don't usually talk about bodhisattvas because it seems that I and any of us can sort of get caught in an idealized, human-oriented, and kind of self-congratulatory interpretation of bodhisattvas or the bodhisattva view. but the quality, decision, or recognition of renunciation that Abhita Bora refers to can undercut that interpretation.

[22:36]

And I think that a vehicle of transformation like a bodhisattva tends to be humble, and this is sometimes inspiring, and it's sometimes kind of irritating. So when you hear about the mystics or read about them, you'll have to find out that they were not so easy to get along with. And so what is a bodhisattva actually holding? Making this huge effort of understanding love seems it should have some sort of reward or consequence or outcome. We should be able to save people and nature and the world. And I think it does in some way. But it's not in a personal way. And it's not necessarily in the way we want that to happen. I mentioned the theologian Yvonne Gabbara and her book Longing for Running Water.

[23:49]

And she addresses this from her perspective of ecofeminism. I have begun to see more clearly how much our bodies, my body, and the bodies of my neighbors are affected by the harmful effects the system of industrial exploitation imposes on them. According to this system's well-worn logic, nature is entirely separate from the human and is dependent on the human will. All this led me to seek, reflect on, and to some extent even live out the spirit of a different kind of culture, different forms of relationship, and a different theology. I also recognize how slow this process is, and it does not always move along with linear continuity. I feel myself to be in a re-education process, and so I am creating an urban,

[24:56]

ecofeminism, one that has little contact with the world of the forest, based on the experience of those who have diminishing access to green things and clean water. My ecofeminism is shot through with the staunch conviction that beauty is important in healing people. So I think this takes courage. And it's also deeply life-affirming and joyful to pursue the development of one's character and perspective in this way. In one of his essays called We Taste Nothing Pure, Michel de Montaigne wrote that profound joy has more seriousness than gaiety in it.

[25:57]

extreme and full contentment, more soberness than sprightliness. And I was thinking of the depictions of the Buddha, such as the one on the altar here, show him in a meditative pose, quiet and very sober, and yet there's this sense of some kind of deep joy and peace inherent in this depiction. And the one in the basement with the fingers like that. Very quiet and sober. So... This, in a sense, is reflecting the very choice... of taking the posture of meditation and trusting the process it proposes of removing the support structure of a permanent self.

[27:08]

In the stories of his enlightenment, this is my last poem for you. One of his revelations is, house builder, house builder, you have now been seen. You shall not build the house again. Your rafters have been broken down. Your ridge pole is demolished too. My mind has now attained the unformed nirvana and reached the end of every kind of craving. So this renunciation and loss, but also this deep freedom and Lightness. Thank you very much.

[28:02]

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