March 24th, 2004, Serial No. 01039

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yea or and
so this is really terrific
i have our
one of the things that happens after
ah to get there
dharma transmission when should get it is that you can talk to people than have this to play with to
i was a
we always watched some teachers what they did with it
some kind of like it over this time some sort of
did this
that cool or what
ha ha
thank you very much for coming
that's all i have to say
so but it did want to say something about direct transmission
you know what is it how do i get it is it for sale in the internet rick
tell the people
area if iraq
it is for go recluse there's an essay on the internet in the title of essay is that during transmission forty nine nine five she'll pay pal account
thank you met
i don't think it's it's probably not the best way to go
somebody or somebody asked me
the day after the ceremony to leave the lake the last ceremony is that
ah one does it work on a clunker show at night and goes
it goes until ice cream early the next morning
ice cream
chocolate is good
ah that was a joke went everywhere
i was true it's true though to
and now
oh so the next morning i came down for for orange juice because i didn't want to eat a thing because i had to do my hundred and eighty six thousand bows to blanch
shortly after orange juice and so i came downstairs and asked somebody asked me so
using any indifferent
and i said hand minutes
but tom
it was everything was different everything was different
i thankfully i talked to darlene after the next day and she said towards anything different and i said yeah yeah she said what i said everything and she said i now
and she said you know what's going to over a year and a half for me and it still is still is different
it was like come
when i came downstairs for orange juice it was like the world had been this way up until
then and now it's this way and it's like everything shifted everything has shifted but what i really feel like is a big gigantic daffodil
it's the only thing that really kind of suits how i feel
you know a big one real big fragrant bright yellow daffodil and i hope that never goes away
but of course having well we you know what happened to things that loan
the die
but at least not for a year and a half more quite early
i've listened to a couple of after after ceremony talks and somehow
maybe not mentioned dharma transmission songs that it was too private to talk about and ah ah so i didn't know really what to do but i did want to say what was most important to me about about it because i think it's it's an important part of our school of our endeavor
it's some
let's see some of you know that i've had a background in the christian church and and my experience there was one of
i'm not so much about kindness or love it was more about
being right and supposed to being wrong being in charge was supposed to being pushed around more about power and control
so those my early training and and going through the charities we call it going through the chairs you'd you'd you'd be a a vicar here is an erector there's and if you are lucky a dean there and a bishop there and then you get up from the top and
course there's nothing there at the top so your ball off retire hopefully before that happens
i'm so i wasn't too interested in in that kind of approach to dharma transmission and that's that's i think that's probably when i the impression i got was that that means your
ah you have sort of made it you have gotten as far as you're going to go kind of i don't have any idea where i got that impression because it doesn't make any sense now but ah so i wasn't really interested in that
and we try and see a blue don't want it back on it
i don't want to say about what what began to strike me as
heart opening about dharma transmission was in reading about dogan and his teacher rushing
the a dog and had shopped around and china for for a teacher for quite awhile and he stumbled on this
chinese new chinese abbott new old chinese abbott and apparently it was love at first sight that's my impression and that's what i read between the lines of kind of fun mechanical you know that the way
the way i call on are written that kind of to me kind of clunky they're not very own to meet up are beautifully written or the feeling sometimes i don't quite get it but with dogan and route rushing apparently was love at first sight in fact they i
dogan knew he'd found his true teacher and regime knew he had found his true student apparently right off the bat and regime and said that look fella anytime you want to come talk to me you can go right ahead doesn't even matter if you're dressed like that
because dog and was trashed can appropriately at the time so rushing
really put himself out completely and apparently was totally devoted to his student and was dogan totally devoted to his master and four months later dogan
woke woke up when he realized the great matter and went home
to start this
what we're doing now
and so that that kind of tenderness and touched me that kind of that spoke of that kind of a relationship between teacher and student and also as i got further into it with my teacher
we didn't we took some time reading the something called the down kotaku a transmission of the lamp the transmission of the lamp by by one of our ancestors one of our more elegant and florid ancestors case i'm joking
ah who wrote that he wrote that in fact he's the one that gave us all of our our ceremonies for apparently dog and want to none of it the ceremonial stuff because he knew there was something more important to do
the case on said yeah roy that whatever that's not going to start with the folks so case on had all kinds of ceremonies for the on
edification of the the common folks to us big
we sent my take on it
and so a right so so he wrote this transmission of the lamp in which he went through all the ancestors up through i think edge oh in it and gentle it cornetto
yeah that's what it is then
oh so that the point i'm trying to make us that dumb you know there are there are stories of where you know the master it comes up to the disciple disciple ask something stupid in the master takes his nose and twists it causing pain for weeks and weeks
and enlightenment as well apparently
other other cases of
you know i'm pretty healthy and those don't don't touch me too much too well that kind of
crashing it's it's not subtle enough i think for me and pain is not a that's something that works too well with me
but the things that touched me with a really gentle
given take between to one master where where the minister could tell me you're going almost reading it you can tell that they knew the student was this close just really really close all they needed was just a little gentle shove and you could also
and there are other ones to where the student
yeah let's see where the student could tell that they were just this close and so they approached the master from that point of view to get to get a push there's some and into of them
one was
one was where
one of the one of the students came up to the master and you can almost hear in his voice that kind of
that that sort of a strong yet vulnerable questioning where it came up to the teacher and said i did you did you get anything else with that robe and ball
you get anything else in other words you to asking and i went one time ah
are we ready to break through to the nature of reality and the master it says ah ah yes yes and that was that that was the beginning though it's the student breaks open
and the the my other favorite is where the student the monk comes up to the master and says points to the masters robe and says
what's going to need that robe
that's okay that's rather intimate question don't think in fact it goes on to say that unless you can actually asked that question of of somebody else you're wasting your time in other words what's beneath all this frou frou what's what's beneath your mask now what's beneath what appears
and sure enough the master said intimacy
intimacy is beneath this robe
ah our hearts in fact i r hearthstone and most in most of request is beneath this robe
so so hearing these stories
ah the idea of dharma transmission and became okay yeah let's look this look at that
so it was it was sixteen years ago just sixteen years ago today are not today but in january last january that i arrived at green gulch farm
at night late at night in the back of a van with no windows that carrying dakota's in the van and there were a couple of other people there too but i didn't know them and after the ride was done i don't want to know them i was a very carsick
have you ever but have you ever been to green gulch name is too horrible horrible horrible road
and in the back of a van
yeah so i got there and i was disoriented and dizzy and lodges and and i don't i don't think they were expecting me but i but i got there and was dark and all and so we banged around and this person came out and said i can i help you and
i think i sputtered something about well yeah i'm coming here for the practice period and she asked you to up sleeping bag as a sleeping bag i've never owned a sleeping bag why would anybody want a sleeping bag
so she gave me one guy those blanche
this this this woman just yet and she was very nice then she disappeared and i thought hmmm
that's interesting
so eight years later
i know very eight years later at tassajara a very vulnerable state
mine i went to that same person and said would you were doing me
ah thinking that that was probably the most outrageous things she probably ever heard and so and maybe the most outrageous thing ever asked for and she said down sure
just like that
reason i smile is that doesn't happen often
that's being that clear and direct about such a way to a matter
oh the answer i mean so so that began
i think of area
i've just right teacher student relationship
and any of you who don't have one on t y you might think about getting one there's really nothing like it really
it's a it's a very beautiful
dangerous exciting thing
that relationship
it's it's an odd thing that happened i think it would with any student teacher i think it's the same thing happens like for example the teacher
has to deal with your mother and father sooner or later because they become either your mother or your father you know the transference blanche was plans became my mother in fact i considered her mommy cocktail
she was more than my mother
worse than my mother
oh but thankfully she knew she wasn't my mother and so i was able to help me work through that stuff in fact work through so well that i could then go home to a map to the time when my mother was dying and i was able to to tell her
her the things that should our needed to hear from me because i've worked through some stuff with my teacher
so for that i'm very grateful know as will be
and the only thing that happens is
oh well so one to one of the teacher described it like this it's not as if in transmissions something has passed over although you do get some really really really cool presence at the end of it
this only one of them
other than that nothing really passes back and forth but i said that it's like a teacher a good teacher is like a magnet
magnet is you have to piece of iron who is aqua molecules are all aligned they're all aligned
and and the student is like a piece of iron just an ordinary piece of iron that comes close to the magnet and sooner or later that piece of iron met the molecules start lining up
so as something passed
don't think so but there is a buddha field i think that's created and one reason i think that might be the case is that we would towards the it
hi towards zazi after
well in the last year of my training with blanche i would go to her cabin and we would go over there the dogan fascicles the the pieces that erodes on direct transmission which ah it's awful it's they're very diff
cult phone going anywhere anybody would read dogan probably know the pain of which i allude
the thing is that the tragic part is that you read it is what the hell does this mean but on a deeper level you know whatever it is it's the truth you know it's so frustrating and so so we will be going over these things and and blanche had some notes from her teacher and
all and and we look at some things some things we it's something she'd say oh that this is thus and sergeant ah wow and then other things lives side so on what's that and she's had no idea can pick it back
but the the interesting thing to me was that i would leave the room leave the cabin in see the only the only word that describes the feeling is a very articulate word but it's the only thing that seems to do it is it that it's a wow
where as so kind of focused expansion you know how you feel you feel big and yet focused the same time
so apparently it was contagious
and i think
it's a do i want to
i want to maybe say something about
i think i think
that's why i went for a walk today somebody and they are talking about the head that they they had trouble with thinking of buddhism as a religion and i was thinking yeah me too
and this evening i was thinking that listening cohen buddhism see well
i was never very good with math but here's a ratio anyway
like religion is to buddhism as my small toe on my left foot is to the human race
doesn't make sense
interesting ratio and also philosophy buddhism is a philosophy like good philosophy is to buddhism as my other little toe is to the human race what it is to be human so i think those things are certainly part of from buddhism but i don't i don't think it's them a whole lot of buddhism religion
or philosophy i think buddhism is something else buddhism is like getting on a on a train now you pay the an expensive train you pay a lot for the ticket and you have no idea what's going on you have a hunch you have a story
i have a wish and expectation demand
but it doesn't make any difference doesn't make any difference and every now and then you can jump off
jump off that train and and you can go away for a long time and then when you come back it's waiting for you
and it also left as well
but it wait
i think
i was talking to on ah
our astronomer here if i get our astronomer and i said don't i was wondering a wanted to find out
what we still thought about the universe
whether ah so the universe is expanding and which make it this fine so but but the thing is
it's not spend expanding into anything
and it's not it's not like it's moving through something or beyond the edge of the universe is something else there's not even nothing know there is no counterpart to the universe that to me as what buddhism as is it's coming to a point where that makes sense
where all we have is reality and that's enough can you imagine can you imagine the relief that reality is enough
do well maybe not the way the way i've always practice fields
i know what i'm looking for and what i'm sure up as this isn't net
which meant that if it wasn't here than it was over there it was like over there that over there was real now that over there was more difficult that was the real thing the real test now
ah we can chase that for a long long time and that that's a way that's a way of escape actually so so i think buddhism is
realizing that not only that the universe is one that it is your body that this this body is buddha dogan talk says that many times job we're not fooling around here folks this very body you're very body is the buddha is reality can
print reality and there's nothing missing how could there be
really think about how could there be anything missing that makes sense
there's nothing missing

ah and the last thing i want to say is
i don't know why
but it seems that this that very reality
you know it and you begin to see it not doesn't the head of course it's not an hit once you realize it
i know that you are it than what happens is kindness and compassion that that time i'm not so i don't understand why it should be dogs but apparently it is
i remember as a as a christian priest
ah saying mass and
thinking that time
what's really happening here is that i am just falling back into the loving arms of god
how can that be no the tassajara sitting outside at night and you see billions of stars maybe billions i know but lots of them and i know that it goes up a long way
like that's a how you are very close in on the sides all around actually but if you go up it goes for along
very long way in fact you go so far that you end up back where you start my right we know that because the nature of space is curved
how can that be
and yet i think the yet the human experience of that kind of understanding his tenderness it opens your heart doesn't make you a machine oddly now what i should think space was very very cold and empty and nasty and hostile
but understanding the nature of it doesn't produce cold nasty hostile feeling
ah top
that's all have to say
think any questions or comments
ah rich so you
yet this earth colored things like love your shoulder and to us
i definitely mean something having keep from getting special
how do i keep from springfield special well i don't
hey how about you
new know why should do think you're not special each of us special interest is unique so since there's no basis for basis for comparison and no competition special fine
now the don't think you're special
what happens next
ha three bows
and then i go to bed
you know that though didn't you
about a partner
oh the wake up l a ring
now i know only i know what you're asking that doesn't make any difference between i have no idea
no idea
who cares
i'm happy
what got me where i am now
well you know
neil that then answer to that right
good luck and said
i was talking with my teacher about plantation down
how ah
compassion compassion only comes from suffering from either empathy or
or your own particular suffering doesn't come through and a good time or or or doing something right or
lock it some actual encounter with without suffering and the worst suffering apparently the greater the compassion
so ah
but my case what got me here i think i luck
what about it
i do
when you johnson
was the gardener who are spending still the gardener at credit
but she said she said then i saw her i don't see much at all but i was a gringotts for some something else year i was talking about something about ah really something about they're really touched my heart and she said well you know you're all heart
and she gave me a bit harder for what a sweet thing to do i mean know the start of the blue to give that kind of a present the somebody who i commend it to turn to say that somebody who you're all heart because it's really true but how often do we hear that know
yeah the kindness of strangers i think
and a lot of love my first teacher especially who turned out pay my bishop
yeah he put up with me for thirty years
utterly he was the first kind person i ever met i think
to the red red rock's pretty isn't it
a red rope all red rope
orange gold i think
now what are you curious about
what's new it's it doesn't have much grease on it yet
it does it does there's even a whole here that the poke it through so that it won't fall off
the quality of being special
that's nothing is
so does he say made us nowhere does it says made japan nowhere
light inside down
but it has made in japan yeah
yeah i think she just decorative isn't it was pretty now
diagnosed as he
let's give you any insight your time
i remember
he expressed it
seabury counter future
i you mean for the job about for which i had no skill this tassajara particularly enjoyable don't think having having a job that's going to last for two years that euro we can't do because
oh god oh right
the or yeah you know again those part of my that was cool
compassion recipe for compassion now part of the recipe has been you know the city for two years and then be penza casar for two years
that produced a lot of compassion
what i do it again yes i would
can also use the class
i'm certainly not
well as a as in the episcopal church episcopal which we know depending on which side of the better woke up on new say is either catholic or protestant or neither or both
oh don't know i've got a friend to
who is a
priest in the catholic church and we're talking about it to how
how once you really to say but once you really get into the mystery of at all
those kind of distinctions don't really have much weight to know
now in fact fact one of the things that i have come to see us it just doesn't living this life
is completely satisfying now
yeah completely i lack for absolutely nothing in terms of spiritual nourishment
it's quite a mystery to me
you want to become dry
where you are a you vote agree with that
there's a straight line and say
ah the question you know the quit the words don't match
the process
some extent
like believing you know like believe
video creator
no i don't know
i really don't know about know you're having had troubles with my own personal bother mean real big troubles the idea of father god didn't sit too well of i did have to talk about that and i'll talk about other gotta know
it's more
my mother asked me that before she died she asked me i the phone she said do
do you still believe in god and she was she was really kind of frightened is kind of a sweet innocent question you still believe in god and i said oh well you know
we're what we're doing is to become kind really really kind and she said all okay well are you happy i said yeah i really am and she said paul okay and that was it so
i don't think one of the things that attracted me to to zen buddhism was when i read somewhere where it's a where it's really cool not to believe anything
that that kind of open may be skeptical
it just openness open heart open mind so cool that that's what i want now
so it wasn't really it wasn't really dropping anything it's just more of a change it was like the daffodil
comes out of about grows

anything else i enjoy those lengths they are all online
know little same problem
i think i would go you know the thing that i don't have to
so much a about
this company
wondering the original we're or not
i won't be
no no no no direct transmission comes after after
it comes after
i think i don't know what do i know about it
we don't you don't get compassion
you are compassion for god's sake
glad to know to
really every anything else is just window dressing and fantasy

who am i getting a signal there
yeah thank you thank you very much
the team
the programming the