This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Thank you to the Tonto, Rosalie Curtis, and the Abiding Abbess for the invitation to speak today. And of course, thank you to my teacher, Zenge Blanche Hartman. So I'd like to start with case 52 from the Blue Cliff Records. A monk asked Joshu, Long have I heard of the stone bridge of Joshu. But now that I've gotten here, I see only a simple log bridge. Joshu said, You just see the log bridge, you don't see the stone bridge.

[01:03]

The monk asked, what is the stone bridge? Joshu answered, it lets asses cross, it lets horses cross. So this version of the koan is from the Thomas Cleary's Secret of the Blue Cliff Record. So some background, Joshu, or Zhao Zhou, is a Zen master from China, lived in the 8th to 9th century. He was ordained young, but he started teaching when he was 80. But he taught for 40 years, which does bring him to 120. So in a talk at Sokoji in April of 64, Suzuki Roshi, in his commentary on this case, at this to say about Joshu. He appreciated the bare life of ancient patriarchs and used only a broken-legged chair repaired by a piece of firewood.

[02:11]

Throughout the 40 years during which he lived the simplest form of life in his monastery, he never wrote a single page of a letter begging for his support, which means that he was very, very famous. In fact, he's in 12 cases of the Blue Cliff Records, five in the Gateless Gate, the most famous of which, of course, is the Mu Koan. So he was known for his pithy and succinct verbal replies. And Hakuin, one of the commentators in The Secrets of the Blue Cliff Record, had this to say, Joshu's zen is lip zen. His whole body is a mouth. This is so-called verbal samadhi. So now, Zen masters take on often the mountain that they're at. In this case, Joshu is the name of a famous town in northeastern China, famous for a particular stone segment arch bridge, which actually is still there.

[03:20]

It was constructed between 595 and 605. It's also sometime known as the Anji. Bridge, but more commonly still known as Zhao Zhou's Bridge or Zhou Shu. So remember, I said that koans appear in different anthologies. And it also appears in this anthology, which is much, much a heavier, heavier tome. And it's called The Not-So-Secret Record of Lin's Life. By the way, my name is Lin Shutt. from 21st century America. So in this heavy, ponderous tome, it goes like this. A lesbian said, long have I heard of the San Francisco Pride Parade. But now that I've gone here, I see only a mass of sweaty people. The second lesbian said,

[04:23]

You just see a mass of sweaty people, you don't see the Pride Parade. The first lesbian asked, what is the Pride Parade? And the second lesbian then answered, it lets lesbians dance, it lets queers dance. Obviously, I made up this koan, Let me just be really clear for those listening and not here to see my facial expressions. But it is based on a compilation of conversations I've had with people over the years, mostly or often from people out of town. So people come here to Pride Parade having heard about it. It's a grand parade. Over a million people come. And it's actually the second largest parade in California after the roses. Tournament of Roses parade. Now some history, which probably many of you know, the first parade happened in 1970, June 28th, and it was to commemorate the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

[05:35]

So in the, probably at least starting in the 40s, but 50s and 60s, there were a lot of raids in gay and lesbian, transgender, queer bars. And Stonewall, the riots started when, on the morning of June 28, 1969, the police raided Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village in New York. And it was one of the first well-known instances in which queers rebel against such treatment. So again, in 1970, The first marches were held in San Francisco, New York, Chicago, and L.A. So it's a big historical commemorative thing that we're doing, the parade. So in the koan, the monk starts out dissing Joshu, challenging him when he said... long have I heard about the stone bridge of Joshu, but now that I've gone here, I see only a simple log bridge.

[06:44]

Suzuki Roshi again on the commentary on this case said, this monk came to Joshu ignoring the great master's prestige. So in essence, the monk was saying, Joshu, you're supposed to be this great master, remember because the master's name after the area, and the famous monk, part of the area. I've come all this way to study with you, and yet you're not what I think a Zen master should be. Seems like you're nothing but a simple, ordinary person. In fact, maybe less than ordinary, since it's kind of like old guys sitting on a broken chair. Where is the greatness I was looking for? It isn't what I expected. You're not what I expected. So the monk, for the monk, it's the bridge. For the lesbian, it's a parade. But we all have our own versions, probably many on any given day.

[07:50]

Expectations, what you think something or someone or some situation should be, and yet it isn't. So here's another example. In the mid-1980s, when I was growing up in North Dakota, the Dalai Lama came to Grand Forks, North Dakota. I was like 16 or 17. And honestly, I don't remember what he said as the main topic. The only thing I really remember is this one instance or incident. So afterward at the Q&A, this guy said, with a long blonde braid, went up to the mic and said, Your Holiness, please speak to us about vegetarianism. The Dalai Lama said, It's a good thing. He doesn't say anything more.

[08:55]

So after a bit, the guy realizes he's not going to get more, so he says and tries again. Please say something more about vegetarianism. So the Dalai Lama, I think he talked to his translator for a bit, and then I remember for sure that he looked down and seemed like he was really thinking, what could I say? And then he looks up smiling, and my experience with him, or of him, is that he does smile often. So he's smiling, he says... When I'm eating meat, I'm not a vegetarian. When I'm not eating meat, I'm a vegetarian. Keep smiling at the guy. So the guy, seeing that he's not going to get anything more, slounces away from the mic, and I can still remember his ponytail swinging left and right.

[09:57]

So remember, this is the 1980s. the Midwest, trust me, meat and potato country. So, you know, I don't, honestly, I do not know this guy. I did not talk to him, so I don't really know what he wanted. But it points to me that, you know, we have agendas, and we go looking for validation of them, especially some authority. So I think we all do this, looking for some reinforcement of our agendas or our expectations or our values or our beliefs. And often we could label them as wholesome or good. And of course it isn't the expectations or values or beliefs themselves that can bring suffering. It's what we think it should be or could be or how it manifests that can cause us suffering.

[11:08]

It's this tendency that often becomes the reason for conflict. Small ones or big ones. So I think one in which often conflicts come up around pride is that the sense of whether queer people should exist or not. And from the teachings, and also the other nuance of that, and I think you can get it in practice circles, is the idea that if a person really was a good practitioner, they would let go of their sense of identity, go into the oneness that we are. In fact, I've actually been asked that many times.

[12:13]

Why do you persist to talk about people of color or queers? Why do you have such groups? So from the teachings, you know, and often people will reference the idea of no self, which is really big in Zen. Now, according to the ancient teachings in Pali, when we talk about no self, often it just means there isn't a solid self that's not made up of composites, right? in Buddhism would be the five skandhas. So the other way in which that you can understand that is actually that the translation is not so much as no-self, but as not-self.

[13:14]

So then it comes between about self or not-self, right? So when you think of this teaching in that way, the teaching is really very specific as a practice from your meditation practice. In fact, when the Buddha was asked directly in the Pali Kanan about whether there is a self or there's no self, he refused to answer. In fact, he says, this is wrong view, and wrong view only contributes towards suffering. So if you think of it as a practice instruction of how do we look at a point in which we suffer, due to our clinging and grasping, which is the cause, right, in Buddhism, of suffering. So where is it that you hang on to the sense of self or not self, or me or mine? Now, we do have a sense of self, and we have to have a sense of self, right?

[14:21]

If I have an itch, I better know to scratch myself and not Kogan. So it's really useful to locate a sense of self. But when is it that I cling on to my sense of self? So first, a way to look at that is, how do we get a sense of self? So I ask you to introduce yourself. And how many of you says, I am whoever? Like... I don't actually, honestly, I can't remember now. I intended to say, my name is Lin. But did I say, I am Lin? Do you see the difference? My name is Lin. Says that this is something that you can identify as, but it's not you as an identity. Now that may seem like, okay, well, whatever. It's just a name. But if it's about, you know... we don't see how Lynn is a priest, and I am a priest or I'm not a priest, or when is it that I'm a priest or just a lay person, right?

[15:32]

Or when is it that I identify as some inherent quality, good or bad? Now, realize that So how we see ourself, or how we identify, often arises more strongly when we have to assert who we are. Well, I don't meet so many people with my name, but imagine if you say, you meet somebody also named Tom, then you're like, I'm Tom, I'm Tom, right? When I was living in Egypt, I moved there when I was in middle school. And I went to an American school of 300-some people from kindergarten to 12th grade. So that's a small community. And my sister is about 20 months older, so she was always ahead of me in school.

[16:38]

And I had moved there. I started in fifth grade, and then I moved into middle school. And when I came into middle school, it was actually a different section of the compound. When people met me, they would say, oh, you're Ka's sister. And I would go, no, I'm not. I'm Lin. You see, this is an example of how we assert who we are. And we only assert ourselves when there's some reference that we don't want to be associated with. let's say for queers, I think the challenge starts to come where we have to then think that we have to say, I am this or I am not. And if we have a fear about a group, we don't want to be of the group and our identity with the group. Because being queer means that you could get beat up

[17:45]

people think that they have a right to oppress you, challenge you, even kill you, right? Now, queer people don't go around necessarily every minute going, I'm queer, I'm queer, do you know? For instance, a while back, I had a friend come from Canada, and we were actually on our way here on a Monday night to sit. And then I was like, oh, well, there's a, you know, a sitting group at the LGBT tea center down the street. So we go in there and we realized we had a little bit of time to wait. And she needed some coffee, you know, to wake herself up. So we walk out the door and we're heading down towards the orbit room, you know. And the two of us are walking. She's Afro-Canadian. And I remember very specifically, we're walking and I see this man coming. come towards us. And the thought I had about him, oh, he seemed tired, you know?

[18:51]

And so while we were walking by, I actually made eye contact and smile. And just as we're almost passing, he says, lesbians. And I walked a couple of steps, and then I was like, yes, that's right. I'm proud of it, you know? And then, you know, my mind's like, well, he at least could have said Dike. If you're going to insult me, go for something bigger. But this is what I mean. When you're in the dominant group of power and you're afraid of the consequences of being identified with an oppressive group, then part of your entitlement of power is that you think it's your right to... assert yourself as not that or assert them as being less than you. Right?

[19:52]

So, back to the parade. So the exchange between the monk and Joshu or the two lesbians are about everyone knowing that Pride Parade is the biggest, brightest, a queer event on Earth. And if you are gay and proud, or if you are supporters of gay and proud, then that is the place to be. But we come, and we build it up, and in many ways, it can be said that we should. You know, where else except in San Francisco can we be so openly LGBTIQ? Be ourselves completely in this identity. And we should be proud of that because it took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get here.

[20:59]

So I am proud. And I wonder if we are limited to by what we can see and experience because we bring our ideas to how things should be. We don't see it for what it is or what it can be. This is what Joshu meant when he said, you just see the log bridge, you don't see the stone bridge. Whack! Just the truth. There is a stone bridge. but it is in the stone bridge you thought it would be or imagined it would be. We come looking for something specific or someone specific, and so we can't see outside that framework. So we can miss out on the actual experience. So why don't we see the stone bridge?

[22:06]

See the parade? In the Genjo Koan, Jogen, one of the founders of this lineage, writes, for example, when you sail out in a boat to the midst of an ocean where no land is in sight, And view the four directions. The ocean looks circular and does not look any other way. But the ocean is neither round nor square. Its features are infinite in variety. It is like a palace. It is like a jewel. It only looks circular as far as your eye can see at that time. All things are like this. Though there are many features in the dusty world and the world beyond conditions, you see and understand only what your eye of practice can reach. We can only see within the limit of our condition interpretation of an event.

[23:11]

Expectations over the frame around interpretation often comes from a habitual mind state that we tend to fall into. With practice, we uncover these conditioned ways of seeing for what they are, thoughts that often bring suffering with it. And through lots of practice, over and over again, we can see how our expectations keep us away from actual experience. A monk asked Joshu, Long have I heard of the stone bridge of Joshu. But now that I've gotten here, I see only a simple log bridge. You just see the log bridge. You don't see the stone bridge. Then the monk asked, what is the stone bridge? So maybe we can take the monk's first sentence now not as a challenge or a complaint,

[24:19]

though it's really easy to complain. I can attest to that. But as an expression for sincere search for relief, I suffer from my conditioned beliefs, my ways of perceiving things, so how can you help me? Maybe he's saying to Joshu, I heard that you can help me. And I've heard about your grandness, which you could hear us as thinking you will get some grand answer to. And yet all I see is an ordinary person living an ordinary life. Is this the purpose? Is this what I'm searching for? So when he asks, what is the stone bridge? It comes from that sincere wanting relief of suffering.

[25:22]

And Joshu, in his infinite kindness, answers. It lets asses cross, it lets horses cross. Nothing more than simple, ordinary life. Everyday life, this is the greatness of Joshu Zen. He's not going to coddle the monks or us. He isn't going to give us a crutch to hang on to. Another idea of what grand is to replace the one we had. One delusion for another. No, thanks to his infinite kindness, he's going to continually point towards the awareness of to be present for ordinary experience. Why? Because an ordinary moment in life with our expectation, how will we know it?

[26:26]

Again, Dogen in the Genja Kahn says, In order to learn the nature of the myriad things, you must know that although they may look round or square, the other features of oceans and mountains are infinite in variety. Whole worlds are there. It is so not only around you, but also directly beneath your feet. So I would propose to you that not only is it around you and also directly beneath your feet, if you're willing to let go of the beliefs and your expectations, Are you willing to drop your expectations, your ideas of how things could be or should be, and just be with what is? A bridge, a parade, a person, whatever it is for you that you have come looking for.

[27:36]

A bridge, a parade, a person, whatever it is that seems grand or ordinary. What they really are is beyond our ideas of them. Seke Harada Roshi in The Essence of Zen said, Things that we can see and hear do not exist because we believe they do. They exist apart from a person's thoughts. That which exists separately from the thoughts of the ego self and with which there is no room for interference on the part of the ego self is the Dharma. The ego self is the self that needs to know and justify self and not self. Can we just let this moment be what it is? Just let this person be what he, she is.

[28:41]

Can we just be open enough to let things reveal themselves to us as they arise? Let ourselves be informed by them as they arise, as opposed to asserting what we think they should be. Can we just let asses cross and let horses cross? Let lesbians dance and let's... queer dance. Can we let them, let ourselves cross or dance into this ordinary moment? Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[29:47]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[29:50]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_97.2