Thank you. An unsurpassed penetrating and perfect dharma. You rarely met with living in a hundred thousand million compass. Having it to see and listen to to remember and accept.

[01:11]

I love to taste the truth of the Tathaleta's world. Good morning. So the theme of the practice period that we're in the middle of right now is Genjo Koan, translated by Kaz Tanahashi as... It's great to be 80, you know? Actualizing the fundamental point translated by Maizumi Roshi as the way of everyday life.

[02:15]

Pretty hard to translate Ganjo Koan, but there are a couple of lines in it that I especially like, which I'm going to try to lead up to with this talk. Around the middle, I just celebrated my 80th birthday. And by the way, I'd like to thank everyone here who put on that fabulous party last week. People helped from carrying tables to cooking food to doing skits and playing music. And it was just a great time. And thank you all very much. And just those of you who just made it a party by coming. But about halfway through that 80 years, about when I was 40, I had two very intense encounters with death.

[03:24]

First, my best friend suddenly died of a brain tumor with very little warning. We were the same age and very close. I was with her the night she had a terrible headache. and decided to go to the doctor the next day and shortly after that I ended up in an emergency room in septic shock with no blood pressure and after those two events I was pretty well I was pretty upset I kind of It occurred to me for the first time in my life that I personally was going to die. I mean, up until then, death was just, yeah, sure, everybody dies, right? Later, sometime. You know, it was not personal. But I was left with the question, well, if you know you're... I mean, we have... There's a slogan in the Tibetan tradition...

[04:32]

death is certain. Time of death is uncertain. And I really got that in those two events. I could have easily had the brain tumor as Pat did, or I could have easily not have come out of the hospital as coming out of the hospital. What I was left with at that time was kind of being terrified at the idea that I was going to die. And also this big question of how do you live a life that you know is going to end? And who knows about that? And I started doing quite a lot of searching around for who knows about that. And a couple of years later, I had another big experience in my life out at San Francisco State College during a student strike in 1968, I believe it was.

[05:38]

And in the course of it, in the heightened, there had been kind of riotous the first day and the police had been quite rough on the students and jailed a lot of them, including my son. And there was a request, it was a black student strike, and there was a request from leaders in the black community for people in the community to come out and just be on the campus the next day and just to sort of interpose themselves between police and students so that there might not be more violence the next day. And so I went out there and... In the course of events, there was a planned rally in the center. Everybody gathered in the center. The speaker got up on a chair to start talking. There was an announcement that it was new legal assembly.

[06:42]

And a phalanx riot squad policeman came out shoulder to shoulder poking with their batons just to sweep the quad. And without thinking, I ducked. under the hands of some people in front of me to interpose myself between police and students and found myself face to face, very close, with a riot squad policeman, whom I had thought up until that point was, you know, if anybody had asked me, it was sort of the opposite of me. But at that moment, when our eyes met, I had... amazing experience of total identity with this person, with this being. Completely, I mean, totally real and unquestionable and completely beyond my comprehension.

[07:48]

And this boundarylessness, first between me and him, and then between me and everything developed, and I thought, the world is not the way I thought it was. I have to change my life. But how? I mean, at that moment I didn't say it. At that moment I said, the world is not the way I thought it was. I have to change my life. And after I got home, I thought, but how? Who knows about this? Who knows about the world in which a riot squad policeman and I are identical? So those two things merge together, you know. How do you live your life and who knows about it? And in the months that followed, someone told me about the Berkley's Endo. And I went down there for Zazen instruction.

[08:50]

And I started sitting every day from that moment. And then I soon after met Suzuki Roshi because we used to come from Berkeley over to San Francisco every week on Wednesdays and Saturdays for Suzuki Roshi's lectures and for the half-day sitting on Saturday. What happens here on Saturday mornings is sort of a remainder of what was a half-day sitting every Saturday morning over at Sokoji Temple. That is, over at Sokoji, we set two periods of Sazen, service, oryoki breakfast, another period of Sazen, and then Suzuki Roshi, work period, and then another period of Sazen, Suzuki Roshi gave a lecture, and everybody did all of it. Nowadays, not everybody does all of it. in any event when I met Suzuki Roshi you know I've been carrying this question for two or three years now how shall I live my life and who knows about this when I met him I just had to feel he knows about this which is why I just grabbed on

[10:20]

to this practice because just the way he was, not by what he said, although what he said was pretty interesting, like the first time I ever heard him talk, he said, you're perfect just as you are. He doesn't know me. I'm new here. But that's the way he talked. And, you know, just as I was putting on my robes, I ran across this bit from the little Zen calendar from 2003 that I saved that says, it's a quote from St. Francis de Sales, it says, do not wish to be anything but what you are and try to be that perfectly. That seems to be quite a good match to Suzuki Roshi's, you're perfect just as you are. And... He would also say things like, you're already complete. You already have everything you need. He kept pointing to this.

[11:21]

I couldn't see it, but I had a great deal of confidence in him. And over these years, I've been trying to find out who this is and trying to be it. which is one of the things that the Ganjo Koan says. It says to study Buddhism is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be awakened by everything. But first you have to study the self. And one thing I was studying was, why does he say we're perfect as we are? What does that mean? I mean, I knew all of my shortcomings. Well, I knew a lot of my shortcomings and the ones I didn't know about other people would tell me. But meeting him really gave me some confidence that there was some way to change my life to meet

[12:38]

these circumstances that I had seen so clearly and directly. And during that time, it was the 60s, and there was this big slogan, Be Here Now. You know, you've heard this, Be Here Now. And I think that those two experiences that were so, such turning points in my life, were moments in my life when I was completely here, completely right where I was, without thinking about past or future, without thinking about anything else except just this as it is, right here, right now. And of course, That's one of the things Suzuki Roshi talked about, you know. Zen is everyday life.

[13:43]

It's your life right now. He talked about meeting things as it is, as it is right now, just this. And then I ran into some of my favorite Zen stories. For example, great master Dongshan, who is the toe of Soto. He's sort of the progenitor of this particular lineage of Zen, which we call Soto Zen. And when he was leaving his teacher and going off on pilgrimage, he said... well, if in the future someone should ask me what your teaching is, what should I say?

[14:44]

And his teacher, Yunnan, said, just this is it. And one translator I read the next line says, Dongshan sighed. You know, if you've been practicing really, really hard and really, really trying to understand your life, and the message you get from your teacher is that his teaching is, just this is it. There's nothing else to get. You might sigh, don't you think? And his teacher said, Yan Yan said, Charya, now that you've taken on this great matter, you must be very thorough about it. And so Dongshan went off pondering these words. And as he was crossing a stream, he looked down and he saw his reflection in the water.

[15:47]

And he wrote a poem. And the poem goes something like this. I go on alone now. But everywhere I look, I see myself. I am not it, but it actually is me. If you want to... I didn't look this up. the lecture, sorry, but if you want to see reality, you must look for it this way. Well, that, everywhere I look, I see myself, that had some connection with this experience with the Riot Squad policemen. It's actually what we chant every time we chant the Son Do Kai, the merging of difference and unity.

[16:58]

This is Dong Shan's teaching. Everywhere I look, I see myself. Self and other are not two. That is the way we exist in the world. We exist with complete interconnection and interdependence with all it is. And seeing it in this moment, in each moment, will show us how to live our life. So we have, you know, all of this teaching about being present in each moment. Thich Nhat Hanh teaches, present moment, only moment. Our whole life occurs in the present moment. Katagiri Rosh used to say, this is past, and this is future, and this is present.

[18:08]

The present is right here. And this is what this be here now is. Right now, be here. In Thich Nhat Hanh's communities, they have someone who rings a bell every so often. They can be heard throughout the community. And each time they ring the bell, they bow and they say, body, breath, and mind in perfect oneness. I send my heart with the sound of the bell. May all who hear be free from suffering and distress. And those who hear, when they hear, if they hear, if they're paying attention, say, listen, listen, that wonderful sound brings me back to my true self. Now, we can do that with any sound, any time.

[19:14]

We can let any sound bring us back to this very moment where we are, to our true self. We can just let sound, you know, we say, what is the sound of one hand clapping? What is the sound? Taz Tanahashi has just put out some music, and the first cut on the CD is called, What is the Sound? And that was suggested to him by a sign that I carried in the peace march before the invasion of Iraq. And I don't know who made up the slogan. It may have been Paul. I don't know what was happening up in the... in the outreach office. What is the sound of no bombs dropping?

[20:20]

Was that you, Paul? Yeah. It's a great slogan. I've carried that in several marches since then, and it makes a lot of connection with people. Every time you hear a sound, it's happening in this moment. It's not happening in the past or in the future. Every time you hear a sound, it's happening in this moment. So a sound can bring you back to this moment each time. And the quotation, before time runs out, I should talk about the quotation I wanted to use. Which is, when you find your place where you are, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point.

[21:27]

Or Maizumi Roshi says, Attaining this place, one's daily life, is the realization of ultimate reality. Genji Okon. So... Realization of Ultimate Reality is his translation of Genjo Koan. And actualizing the fundamental point is another translation of Genjo Koan. So, attaining this place, one's daily life, is the realization of ultimate reality. Or, when you find your place where you are, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point. So that's the here part of be here now. And the next line of Genjo Koan is, when you find your way in this moment, practice occurs, actualizing a fundamental point.

[22:29]

And Maizumi Roshi says, attaining this way, no, come on, I guess he doesn't have... I can't identify. So when you find your way at this moment, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point. So that's the now part of be here now. So finding your place where you are in this moment, at that time, your life is completely vivid. that time you feel completely alive, present, awake, and you know what to do. So this is our practice, is to cultivate the possibility of being right here, right now, whatever we do.

[23:33]

And our mind wanders away, and we bring it back. And our mind wanders away, and we bring it back. our effort. This is how we live our life, by being awake in each moment. When we are awake in each moment, when we're actually paying attention, we're not going to do something. We're not going to break a precept, for example. The precepts are built into us. And if we're awake and we start to do or say something that would be breaking a precept, we'll feel some hesitation. And if we're paying attention, then we'll notice the hesitation and we'll pause a moment and say, maybe not. If we just ride on habit energy, we will just ignore those kinds of, that kind of inner guidance that comes from your perfect justice you are.

[24:41]

You know how to live your life. You simply have to pay attention to what you already know. You can't rest on your laurels. You have to be awake all the time. You have to be here now and now and now and now. Just being there at that moment with the riot squad policemen and recognizing our identity and, by extension, as I stood there, my identity with everything That's fine. That's great. That was a moment to wake up. But if I don't follow that with changing my life, so what? If I can't live my life being present in each moment, I'm going to make a lot of mistakes.

[25:45]

So... Each time I make a mistake, I need to make a greater effort to be present in this moment. That's why Suzuki Roshi said Zen is about making your best effort on each moment forever. It's not making a great big effort and getting some great big realization and then coasting home. It's about being awake in each moment, being present in each moment, bringing your whole self to everything you do. And so, you know, we keep making that effort. And we will keep making that effort as long as we're alive. We're never going to complete everything

[26:51]

that until we die. There's no completion of being present as long as you're alive because there's this moment and this moment and this moment. If you're present in this moment, that's fine. What about this moment? There's no end of practice. There is only continuous practice. which is actually good news, not bad news. It means that this practice will never wear out. You'll never use it up. It will last you all your life. It will last you up to your dying day. And in fact, that may be the best payoff, is if you really immerse yourself in practice, it will be with you in the tough times.

[27:52]

you will be present for what's happening. You will be able to meet it with your whole heart. Whatever you do in practice, if you don't open your heart to everything that's around you, then... it seems to me that nothing is happening. I think this being present in each moment is how we really open our heart to everything that we meet. How we actually meet everything that occurs in our life is with an open heart, recognizing our connection with everything, recognizing that self and other are not two.

[28:58]

And so meeting each apparent other as yourself. There is this very important practice in the Tibetan tradition called exchanging self with other. That is you make a practice of giving others what you want and taking from others what you don't want. This meeting self and other in that open-hearted way is how practice can really make our life come alive. It is for me an answer to my question of how shall I change my life?

[30:08]

How do I live if I know I'm going to die? And you know, my experience is The more intently I practice this practice, the more I enjoy my life. And when I get sloppy about practice, things go all haywire. So I... deeply encourage you to meet each thing as it is. To recognize that this is your life, right here, right now. This is it. This is your life. This is what you're looking for.

[31:12]

Be here for it. Don't be looking out there for it when it's right here. Meet your life. with kindness and generosity. And I think you will be a lot happier. Not to worry about happiness later, but to just be with what is right now, with appreciation and kindness. When we can do that, it's a lot of fun to be alive. So let's be grateful for the chance to be alive. Thank you.

[32:26]

With the truth.

[32:29]

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