. [...] Good evening and welcome. It's nice of all of you to be here. Nice of all of you to be out there on Zoom. And it's my pleasure to be here. I want to thank the Tonto Tim for inviting me. I want to thank my teacher, Ed Sarazan, and my root teacher, Shosan Victoria Austin. Thank you, Mako, and thank you, David. Appreciate it greatly.

[18:14]

So, interestingly, a few weeks ago, Mary Stairs was here on a Wednesday night, and she spoke about the 16 precepts. And, you know, I've heard about the 16 precepts, and... I received Jukai, lay ordination, 15 years ago, along with my friend right there. We were in Jukai together. And, you know, when we do the full moon ceremony, and we go through all the precepts and whatever, but somehow, in my mind, I only focus on the 10 grave precepts. I've kind of ignored those refuges and the three pure precepts. And Mako pointed out on Monday night particularly how that's how the full moon ceremony starts and that's how the Jukai starts with the three refuges and then the three pure precepts.

[19:26]

And then we go on to the ten grave ones. But when I think about studying... the precepts, I think about those 10, those prohibitions, not to kill, not to misuse sexuality, not to harbor ill will, not to be avaricious, et cetera, et cetera. So this sparked in me, well, what about these first three, the three refuges? And it's really interesting, they do come up, and the three refuges are, I take refuge in Buddha, I take refuge in Dharma, and I take refuge in Sangha. So my teacher, Renzo Ed Sarazan, and I have been going over these refuges, but I didn't really focus in my mind, these are part of the precepts. But the one that's most difficult for me, or the most remote, or the one I least understand is

[20:31]

I take refuge in Dharma. And it says, I take refuge in Dharma before all beings, entering deeply the merciful ocean of Buddha's way. Well, first of all, for a long time, it says before all beings. And I thought that was, I did it before any other beings. But it means before them, in front of them. And another translation, which I actually appreciate a bit more, is, I do it with all beings, not before, but with them, with you, each of you. And this is another thing that Mako spoke about on Monday, was interconnectedness. So we have an interconnectedness with each other, but we also have an interconnectedness with these precepts and with this refuge. So I take refuge in Dharma,

[21:31]

with all beings entering the merciful ocean of Buddha's way. So this is a good place to open new doors, especially for me, but perhaps for you too, because I don't know how much you've related to that particular refuge. But it may connect us to other teachings, and other teachings connect us to that refuge. So what is a precept? What does that mean? It means a general rule to regulate behavior, thought, or action. So it's just a general concept that helps us regulate our thoughts, our behavior, and our actions. What we do with body, speech, and mind. So that's what a precept is and what is a refuge. A refuge means something that provides shelter.

[22:34]

So this particular refuge of the Dharma, it's providing a shelter where we can work with and practice with our body, speech, and mind. So I used to think that refuge in Dharma was a real passive thing. Okay, that's simple. I take refuge in Buddha, okay, that's good. That's good. The Buddha can kind of have a conception of him and what he was like, and I take refuge in this guy and what he did and what have you. And Sangha, that's all of you, and so I can relate to that and being involved. But Dharma for me was, okay, that's a bunch of musty old sutras, which have wisdom, but there wasn't much to do there. Just like... Yeah, okay, I like those teachings. Well, Dharma is not just teachings. And these refuges are really gateways. They're gateways to rediscovering our true natures, or our original face, or our Buddha nature, or our Bodhicitta.

[23:45]

So we have this opportunity to use these, and particularly... Now, tonight, I want to focus on the refuge in the Dharma, which are teachings, definitely, and they are the truth also, but they're the path. They offer us a path to help us further realize or to help us get in touch with our original nature. They're a thread. The Dharma is a thread that leads us along. and allows us to find our way to our true nature. Dharma is the path of the presence. So it's about being present here in Tao. Consequently, it's a lot about Zazen. Everything is Dharma. Everything is truth. Everything is the path. Everything has the thread that leads us on.

[24:49]

The way we find that everything in our life is a constant process of learning and discovery. So the Dharma offers us that. The ability to keep learning and to keep discovering. And it's an ongoing process. It's not like we master the Dharma and we've got that and we move on and along to something else. We do not regard some things as secular and some other things as sacred. We regard it all as part of the Dharma. So what I do in my daily life in a way as equally and as critically important as what I do sitting here in Zazen in the mornings and in the evenings or what I do when I'm involved or celebrating the full moon ceremony. So Dharma is all-inclusive. Okay.

[25:55]

And here my pages are mixed up. And here they're not. So Dharma provides us with a roadmap along the path or the thread of life. But it's not really just linear like this. In fact... Dharma, that path, that thread, is somewhat like if you're familiar with labyrinths, which is a circuitous path to get to the center. But you're walking the labyrinth, and you're going around, and you're almost in the center, and you think, okay, I got it. But all of a sudden, you're back on the perimeter again. But you're always progressing, always moving towards that center. But as I say, it's not a linear line. So this is a roadmap along this path or this thread of life. Robert Akin Roshi said, he wrote a book called The Dragon That Never Sleeps, and it's his Gothas.

[26:56]

And he said, turning for refuge in Dharma, I vow with all beings to oil and sharpen my tools, oil and sharpen my tools, my skills. and fashion a home in the way. So it requires a firm vow to take refuge in Dharma. And how do we proceed entering the merciful ocean of Buddha's way? So we're entering it, as the refuge says, and we're entering this merciful ocean, all of these wonderful things that life offers us, all these learning opportunities that life offers us, both secular and sacred, both pleasant and sometimes unpleasant. And sometimes it seems like we're slipping back, but in fact we're not. So how do we proceed once entering the merciful ocean?

[27:58]

We need some well-oiled and sharp tools, as Akin Moshi said. We can take inspiration from William Stafford. William Stafford is one of my favorite poets. And he wrote a poem called The Way It Is. And he says, there is a thread you follow. That could be the thread of Dharma. It goes among things that change. Like all of these things change. As I was mentioning, life changes. It blossoms. It blooms. It wilts. It goes among things that change, but it doesn't change. That thread doesn't change. The Dharma does not change. People wonder about what you're pursuing, and you have to explain about the thread, but it's hard for others to see. I can't always see the thread you're pursuing.

[29:01]

I can't always perceive the path you're pursuing, but through interconnectedness, I can be compassionate with it. I can be willing to feel it and listen to you. You have to explain about the thread, but it's hard for others to see. While you hold it, you can't get lost. So as long as you are taking refuge in the Dharma, you will not get lost. At moments it may seem so, but in fact, you will not get lost. Like the labyrinth, you will not get lost. You may go back out further on your way to the center, but you will not be lost. Tragedies happen, people get hurt or die, and you suffer and get old. Nothing you can do stops times unfolding. You don't ever let go of that thread. So now I'll read it through without my commentary.

[30:04]

The way it is. There's a thread you follow, It goes among things that change, but it doesn't change. People wonder about what you are pursuing. You have to explain about the thread, but it's hard for others to see. While you hold it, you can't get lost. Tragedies happen, people get hurt or die, and you suffer and get old. Nothing you do can stop times unfolding. You don't ever let go of the thread. So with that information from William Stafford, how do we go about practicing this vow of the Dharma? What tool or method do we use, that well-oiled tool? One of the things I've found helpful in fulfilling my vow to take refuge in Dharma is the Eightfold Path.

[31:11]

This is interesting because I mentioned earlier how things for me have started the different teachings to interrelate and interconnect. And it's not just the Eightfold Path here and the Refuge is over here and the Heart Sutra over there and the Lotus Sutra over here. They're starting to interconnect. So I find that the Eightfold Path is very helpful for me to practice taking refuge in Dharma, especially the sixth of the Eightfold Path, which is right effort. Now sometimes that word right, like right effort and right speech and right livelihood, etc., that word right throws us. But what it means is beneficial, helpful, wise, or vigorous effort. So with helpful and wise and vigorous effort, I can pursue that taking refuge in dharma in a practical sort of pragmatic sort of way.

[32:24]

One of the ways is obviously zazen. But right effort is a practice of diligence and and continuous practice. It's not something we do today and we're done with or we did yesterday and we'll do a little bit tomorrow, but that's enough. I don't want to bother with it anymore. It is a lifetime practice. So it's a continuous practice. Rilke, the poet, says, we are not permitted to linger even with the most intimate. From images that are full, the spirit plunges on to others that suddenly must be filled. There are no lakes until eternity. So Rilke is putting forward, we can't just linger and hang out. We need that diligent, continuous practice.

[33:27]

So vigorous, wise effort, is about ridding oneself from unwholesome thoughts, words, and actions. Those actions of body, speech, and mind. And we do this, this vigorous, diligent practice, we do this by practicing the four right exertions, or as Thich Nhat Hanh calls them, the fourfold right diligence. So I think we all have multiple opportunities to practice these four right exertions. I know that I do. And as an example, I always have the annoyance of the week. And some weeks it carries over, same annoyance. Some weeks I get a new one each week. And they offer me an opportunity to practice.

[34:30]

Sometimes it might be a person, not necessarily because something they did to me or didn't do to me, but just because I don't know why. But that person becomes my annoyance of the week. Some of you have heard me talk about one of my favorite annoyances. One of my best learnings was the annoyance of the lack of spoons. in the small kitchen here in this building. Now, for those of you who don't know, I mean, we're not living in this building any longer, but there was a small kitchen where you could go and get coffee or tea and maybe a little snack. And there was a drawer, a silverware drawer, and it had knives and forks and spoons in it. And you always needed a spoon to stir your tea or get your tea bag out. And invariably, there were no spoons in the drawer.

[35:32]

And this was a great, great source of upset to me. Annoyance is pretty much too mild of a word for it. But I was extremely annoyed about it. So, okay, there's the four right exertions. So the first one is restraint. or prevention. So becoming aware that, okay, there's no damn spoons in the drawer. And I can cuss and fume and fuss and blame it on somebody or nobody or everybody, but the fact is there are no spoons there. So the first thing, if I'm practicing these four exertions or fourfold right diligence, is to restraint and prevention to become aware of this. Another example might be if you're walking down the street and you walk down the sidewalk and you fall in a hole, that's very problematic.

[36:38]

So we need to deal with restraint and prevention there. We don't want to fall in the holes and we don't want to just get incredibly upset about no spoons in the drawer. So the second of the four things right diligence, is abandonment. So, okay, there's no spoons there. That's all right. It just happens. I can live with that. If I'm walking down the street and there's the hole there, instead of falling in it, I'll walk around it. It's pretty brilliant, right? But it's progress. The third is to cultivate wholesome states. the cultivation of good seeds in my karmic garden, the cultivation and watering of those things that are positive, that I want to bring forth.

[37:39]

So I'm walking down the street and instead of falling in the hole and instead of walking around it, an idea occurs, a new practice. I'll take another route. I'll go on the other side of the street or I'll go around the block. Or the spoons, aha! I can go get spoons and I can refill the drawer. And I can get some satisfaction from this. And I can be of service and I can be helpful. And this is a revelation. And the fourth and the last part of four-fold right diligence or right exertions, is preservation. So that's the maintenance of wholesome states. That's refining those wholesome activities. So I might pick a better route, you know, the alternative route, or I find out, oh, it's a little simpler or it's sunnier on that side of the street than this one, I'll perfect my route.

[38:51]

Or... I can get spoons and refill the drawer when necessary and do it with joy and happiness. And I can maintain that state and I can refine that activity. So by doing these fourfold things, restraint, abandonment, cultivation, and preservation, I have furthered my experience of taking refuge in Dharma along the path. I am smoothing out my path to some degree. Interestingly, for some of you who are familiar with the 12 steps, this is very much like steps 6 and 7 of the 12 steps. Step 6 says we're entirely ready to have all these afflictions removed, to have... you know, not be so upset about no spoons, not to fall in holes, et cetera.

[39:57]

Become willing to let that, and let go of these old behaviors. And the seventh step says, okay, with the help of my Buddha nature, with the help of my bodhicitta, I can create new, new actions and new activities. that are more beneficial to myself, but also to you. You're probably happier whether you know it or not if you're not my annoyance of the week. You're probably happier whether you know it or not that I fulfilled the spoons and I'm not back there cussing and complaining about it. So this comes up, these ideas of beneficial and right. action, right diligence, wholesome skillfulness that we get to practice, willingness to give up the old and vow to cultivate and practice the new.

[41:02]

We practice this in all of our affairs, as I said before, secular and sacred, with the spoons and with the zazen, with the holes in the ground and with the full moon ceremony. We tend our karmic garden with the Dharma as a gateway and our guide as we walk the path of liberation. So let's... Well, before I say that, I'd like to read you a short poem about cultivating our garden. It was written by our central abbot, David Zimmerman. And it goes... planting, cultivating, tending good seeds, harvesting the karma, gardens, flowers and fruits, offering nourishment, awakening beings, bringing forth the fragrance of the long river.

[42:08]

Once more, planting, cultivating, tending good seeds, harvesting the karma, gardens, flowers and fruits, offering nourishment, Awakening beings bringing forth the fragrance of the long river. That's a very sweet way of saying practicing taking refuge in Dharma using the practice of right effort, right wise diligence that... we can nourish these things and bring them forth. So I urge you, and I say, let's practice these refuges, providing shelter together. On the path, the thread of Dharma, let's oil and sharpen our tools together. Thank you. We have some time for questions.

[43:15]

If anybody has a question they would like to ask Roger? Thank you. Thank you for your words. I thought that was very interesting and enlightening and very wonderful. I don't know if this is really a question, but this is more of something I'd like to share and maybe get your feedback and see what you think about this. Specifically, this predicament of the hole in the street. Of the what? The hole on the sidewalk. I've literally experienced this in the last couple of months, but in a slightly different way. I'll paint the picture quickly. I'd love to hear your comment. So I have two dogs. I walk up and down Page Street every day. And close to Golden Gate Park, there's construction being done on a church.

[44:20]

And going in and out of this, it's a big project, it seems like, going in and out of this church, construction workers, lots of chaos, noise. And right in front of kind of the middle area that you walk through, It's about, let's say, 10 paces. There seems to be an ongoing huge puddle from all the rain we've been getting. So I noticed this and I became frustrated with it. And so I walked on the other side of the street eventually to kind of go around it. Long story short, I ended up kind of surrendering to it. And instead of going around the hole as you... as you mentioned, or going out of my way, I decided to go through it, if you will, and kind of open up to the mystery of, well, some of the people were commenting on my dogs.

[45:23]

Some of the people were kind of coming out in and out kind of quickly and kind of have to take a pause. It almost became a bell of sorts for me, like a check-in. So with all that said, just kind of... i guess your two cents on that um where the situation presented itself where it would be easier to go around it or to just take a completely different path but decide to go through it and be open to um whatever that situation presented uh and if nothing else just kind of moving through the the frustration like this is never going to end every day this construction is not stopping To me, that sounds like a wise approach. I know when I was very young, I liked to play in puddles, so they weren't an obstacle. Splash in them, I don't know. Do you do that? Sometimes. Sometimes?

[46:24]

Yeah, that's fun, right? But you didn't fall in the puddle, and you're not stuck in that puddle. You've transformed it, transmitted it, transmuted it, right? I mean, are you okay with it now, the puddle? I am. I think the biggest challenge, this is kind of just funny, with the puddles, oh my gosh, my dog's paws are going to get all puddle wet. What is that going to bring into the apartment? You're going to have to dry them off and wash them off. Right, so at first this was kind of an obstacle and a challenge, but then it became something that was almost playful. So yeah, anyway, I really resonated with your... As long as it stays playful for you. But then, I mean, I don't know, I could get in a place where, okay, I'll show this puddle. It's not going to get the best of me. I'm not going to fall in that hole, you know, like the hell with those spoons.

[47:29]

I'm going to get my own spoon and carry it in my pocket. But it sounds like you've... have and are dealing with it, and that may change. You may find, like, okay, I don't want my dogs to get wet. Now I think I'll go around it or take another route. Okay? All right. Thank you. Thank you. I really liked your spoon metaphor of the different type of obstacles you go through when you see it. I can relate. Actually, literally, in our household, we often lose small spoons. And most of the time, it's because my children, I think, throw them in the trash. So my question here is, I will often

[48:36]

in many different situations, come to, okay, I'll just purchase more spoons, or I'll replace the spoons. What immediately follows this often is either contempt or resentment towards other people for either not solving this problem already, or letting it get to the state it is. I'm curious what the, like, how does, you know, in following the thread. How does what? How do you follow the thread out of that? Like, is that a hole to fall in? Like, what is the contempt or resentment and how to move forward? Well, if I understand your question correctly, I know that sticking with the spoons. Yeah. I got very self-righteous when I started replacing them.

[49:37]

And, okay, I can do this and I'm doing that and I'm good and pat myself on the head. Looked for somebody else to pat me on the head. But that's just the step in those four things, right? The four methods of practicing diligent effort, wise effort. So the third one was, you know, creating new ways of doing it. In other words, as I practiced it, I found that I didn't get much out of being so self-righteous about it. And I found that I could do it without being self-righteous. And then I found that I could do it as I cultivated those seeds, that I could do it with some joy and happiness. Now, I'll tell you this. I would also revert back to being very pissed off. I didn't just get from A to D, right?

[50:43]

I'd get there and drop back and back and forth. Being aware of that and watching what comes up, that's what taking refuge in the Dharma is. That's part of what it is. Watching that path that you're on and how it sometimes veers off this way or that way. and sometimes it just goes straight ahead. So, yeah, I would get self-righteous, and then I could get some, oh, I can do this and be of service, and then I could cultivate that being of service, and it grew and developed in that way. And all that process of self-righteous to coming back to being of service, that's all following the thread? So to speak. Yeah, even reverting back to being pissed off again is part of falling. Again, it's somewhat like the labyrinth I was speaking about. You're going around like this and then it goes like that and back like this. Yes, it's the thread. So is it then that you're always following the thread?

[51:46]

Always. Okay. I like that. Don't let go. I have a follow-up to that, a question to that, because the thread metaphor is super interesting and helpful, but I am struggling with the idea that what do you do with the thread? Because you're saying the thread exists, like, it's happening, it's there, whether or not you are at peace with it or whether or not, like, whatever is happening. So... What's the relationship that we're trying to pursue with the threat that is going to be there regardless with us? Like you said, follow it. Are we trying to hold on to it?

[52:47]

And what does that do? Instead of the threat is going to exist anyway. It's true. And you can experience it and practice. Think of it also as a path and walk the path, both literally and figuratively. The thread is your guide. You don't do anything with it, per se, other than follow it. It's what tethers you to the Dharma. Thank you. We have time for one more question. We have a question that was put into the Zoom chat. This is from Terry. I don't want to give up lingering.

[53:48]

It's very nice. How do I balance right effort with enough lingering to keep me happy? Oh, Terry, thank you for that question. How do I answer it? We have to care for ourselves. And we're not always good about that. And part of caring for ourselves is lingering. And how one balances lingering with not lingering is an ongoing practice and one that I've not at all mastered. Sometimes I'm just... full on this way and sometimes I'm full on this way. And I find I get into criticizing myself, whichever one that I'm in. And fortunately, sometimes I can go down the middle and be quite pleased. It seems like I don't always have a choice either. Circumstances bring forth a lot of activity or sometimes none.

[54:54]

And being aware of what is happening, what you're doing or not doing, and not beating yourself up about it, I think is a skill worth cultivating. It comes back to then those four methods of diligence. Abandonment and preservation and cultivation and maintenance. I don't think that's going to solve your problem, Terry, but It's the way it is. Thank you. Okay, thank you. and to share from you equally with the staff and to do that a great evening and as we lay this with the truth of every day, the java, the buddha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

[56:34]

I don't know. [...] Folks can say hi.

[59:02]

I'd like to present her back here. We appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you.

[59:26]

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