This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Hello, everybody. Welcome to San Francisco Zen Center on this lovely rainy day. a stormy, rainy, wintry day. Also, a welcome to those of you who we can't see here in the room but who are listening to the miracle of live streaming or maybe even later on on non-rainy days. Welcome to all of you. Excuse me. I apologize. So my name is Jordan. Jordan Thorne. I'm a priest, a staff member here at the Zen Center.

[01:02]

I'm grateful for this opportunity today to try and share my understanding what it means to practice Buddhism and practice Zen on rainy days and on any day. Part of what I want to say today is guided by the fact that this afternoon at the Zen Center, there is a ceremony, an ordination ceremony, a lay precept ceremony, during which a number of Zen students will take a vow to live a life of usefulness. And this is called the Bodhisattva Initiation Ceremony. Sometimes we use a Japanese word for it, which is jukai. And this significant event is a practice gateway to connection with the tradition and lineage of Zen.

[02:10]

In a very particular and real way, this ceremony marks the moment when an individual joins into the family tradition of Zen practice. And so I dedicate my words right now towards the ceremony that will happen this afternoon at 3 p.m., which you are all welcome to attend if you like. No advance reservations required. Thank you. The path of Dharma is a big tent. There are many practices in Buddhism. Many lineages and traditions. There is Japanese Zen, which we kind of do here.

[03:12]

There's Chinese Zen, which we kind of don't do here. And there's Tibetan teachings and my Theravadan teachings. And there's a mindfulness tradition. There are a lot of different... that people manifest, demonstrate, and do this thing called Dharma practice. And I think that, well, it's not just one thing they share. There's a bunch of things. But there's a very, very important thing that all the different traditions of Buddhism share, which is they have in common a recognition of the fundamental importance of living an ethical life, of living a life that is in accord with the precepts, to live a life in harmony with the vow not to harm others.

[04:16]

And just doing this is called living life in accord with the precepts, and this is what today's ordination ceremony is about. a public expression of vow, a public expression that these individuals this afternoon but others in the past have made to live life with care and compassion. And I want to say that there's something kind of powerful about that public nature of it. You know, one of the words you hear if you practice Buddhism or even if you just are alive in America, is the word karma. And karma is a complicated word and it means more than what I'm about to say, but I'm going to say for the sake of today that karma is the teaching that our actions have consequences.

[05:24]

And But in some ways, we can make our actions have more consequence or be more impactful, be more karmically weighted. I'm just going to assume for the sake of, because it's a good idea to assume this, that everybody here in this room are good people. Walk down the street and feel well wishes for the people that pass. do not deliberately take what's not given. That's a good thing. But if you make a vow, if you say out loud on purpose, I will not steal, I will not gossip, I will not, and there's a whole list of things that in Buddhism we take a vow to do, and then fulfill that vow, there is a teaching that the karmic impact of that is greater than if you hadn't made the vow.

[06:32]

And there's a flip side to that, which is that if you take that vow and don't live up to it, the consequences are greater as well. So by taking these precepts together this afternoon, or even in your heart, we raise the ante on what we might just naturally do anyway. And that's a good thing. It brings attention and awareness and it brings a sort of weight to our inclination to do well. So the ceremony this afternoon includes a recitation of things. Don't kill, don't steal, don't speak falsely, etc. But another way of understanding what these statements are is that they're describing what it would look like if you lived life like Buddha.

[07:50]

And In some of these things, they're actually pretty small. There's small little aspects. It's not, you know, like not to kill. Well, that seems like a pretty big thing, but not to speak unkindly to other people. It happens. I've done it myself. I have to confess and apologize. I have sometimes done that. But when you make a vow, when you make that commitment in your heart to not do so, this is something that has... can start off like as a small intention, but actually as it comes into your life and if you live with it and as you make it in the fabric of your intention, it's something that opens out into really being a vast expression of your heart. And another way to understand

[08:52]

what taking precepts of ethical conduct looks like, is that these are meditation practices. And one way I know in my life the truth of that fact is that when I have not kept my vows, when I have not kept my precepts, my meditation is disturbed. You can't... When you sit down in silence and follow your breath, what is it that comes up and disturbs you? Well, sometimes it's meal planning. Sometimes it's relationship planning. And sometimes it's those things we do which trouble us. Living a life in accord with harmonious commitment of being aligned kindly with people is a meditation practice that affects and supports our meditation.

[09:54]

A moment ago, I said that the The Jukai ceremony, the ordination ceremony this afternoon, marks a kind of entry into the family of Zen. The beginning of a connection to the lineage of this tradition. Which brings up a kind of skeptical question. Well, why would you want to do that? Why practice Zen? Why would someone want to actually think that it makes a difference when you step into the Zendo, if you lead with your left or right foot, or when you sit down in your meditation seat that you turn clockwise? Why would somebody

[11:19]

adopt all that rigmarole. Well, my answer to that question has to start with saying that nobody has to do it. No one has to, no one has to do these things. In this world of billions of people, there are many, most people, I think, didn't think that that's the way they have to live their life. But I want to say from my perspective, in my life, that I have found it helpful. We need to find a place to start in this thing called living our life in a helpful way. And I wish all of you greatest good wishes on that journey. And I say that for some of you, the practice of Zen could be a way.

[12:26]

leaving aside whether you practice Zen or Catholicism or whatever way you want to organize your helpful heart, I just want to say I do think that there is a real benefit found in making an effort to understand who we are, to understand how to be with people, to understand how we can navigate towards a life that's useful, helpful, and encouraging. And while this doesn't necessarily mean it has to look like Zen, it also can look a lot like Zen. One of the things that is kind of like a family trait of the Zen tradition is that we don't just pay attention to the most overt actions of our life, but we pay attention to more subtle things.

[14:11]

Like, for instance, when we come into this room, how we line our, how we take our shoes off and do we put them higgledy-piggledy or do we put them side by side? Now, some people might think this is kind of like an anal retentive Zen tradition. But actually, it's just a recognition that being careful and aware with our actions has consequences in our heart. A couple of years ago, I was at Pirate Market on 18th Street. Nowadays, there's a by-right on Divisadero as well. And I was in the checkout line, which is sometimes disappointingly long at by-right market, standing there, inching forward, when I heard behind me a voice that said, that person up there, that guy up there is a Zen priest.

[15:16]

And, you know, I... Didn't want to be so ostentatious as to immediately put my hands in shashu and straighten up and tuck my chin under. But I did immediately notice. It brought me to myself immediately. I noticed, well, was I slouching? And what was I thinking when that person said that? And without changing my posture, my heart kind of changed. And I realized then it really is true that my whole life, is more than just how I sit zazen in the zendo, but it's how I am when I stand in line at the supermarket. Even glorified supermarkets like Byride. Kategori Roshi is a, was, sadly passed away some years ago, was a Japanese Zen priest who came to

[16:21]

helped Suzuki Roshi in the 1960s. He helped Suzuki Roshi at the Sakoji Temple in Japantown, and then when City Center opened up here at Page and Laguna, he followed a very important person in the history of Zen Center, and actually a very important teacher in American Zen. And he said, the way he put it, amongst other ways he put it, was Knowing how to live, knowing how to walk with people, demonstrating and teaching this is the Buddha way. Knowing how to live, knowing how to walk with people, demonstrating and teaching this is the Buddha way. And making this effort to know how to live, to know how to walk with people, is not I wouldn't want to say that Zen has any monopoly on that intention. This is, I think, a common urge of many, many people to know how to live, to know how to walk with people.

[17:28]

And as I said, nobody needs to practice Zen, but I think it's also true that for some people, some of the time, and for me in particular, Zen practice has been very helpful. in my own finding out how to live, finding out how to walk with people. So Zen, which is a Japanese word, which is a transliteration of a Chinese word and transliteration of Zen, It is a spiritual practice. It is a history. It is a tradition of training. And in the Zen school, we talk about things like our Dharma brothers and sisters, our great ancestors of the past,

[18:36]

And today this Zen family of ours is going to be enlarged by three people, Kathleen, Timothy, Vanya. And today they'll be, despite whatever age they are differently and in relationship to any of us, today they'll be baby Buddhas. Not a bad place to be. Not to speak of baby Buddhas, to speak of one of our great sequoias, one of the great ants, great large trees in our tradition. I want to go back to a long time ago in China and tell you about one of our great, [...] and grandparent ancestors, who was a student of, his name was Xing Yan, and my pronunciation of the Chinese is certainly incorrect.

[19:59]

And he was a student of a great teacher called Guishan. Many students were gathered around Guishan, but this particular student, Jingyuan, was known in the Sangha, in the temple, amongst the practitioners as somebody especially quick-witted. He had a reputation, he could give 10 answers to any single question. And At one point in his Zen career, in his Zen student process, Shingon's teacher Guishan said to him, the question of birth and death is the most fundamental.

[21:02]

I'm not going to ask you about what is recorded previously or what can be learned from scriptures. Please listen. Tell me something about who you were before you were born. And Jingwan tried to answer the question, but he couldn't say anything. Or rather, maybe he said some things, but they didn't seem true to him. And he read through some of his books and he reflected on the question of who was I before I was born and the consequences of all that left him in a state of disappointment. He meditated on the question.

[22:06]

He thought maybe that's where the answer would be some intuitive question. Internal awareness. Still, nothing came up. He read some more in his texts. Finally, he went to his teacher and he said, he said, please help me. Please tell me. Who was I before I was born? And Guishan answered him. He said, I could easily give you the answer, but later you would reproach me if I did. And then Zheng Yan said, a painting of a rice cake does not satisfy hunger. And at that point he

[23:10]

gave up on studying Zen, left the temple, moved into a hermit's hut on the same mountain that Guishan lived, and settled into a very modest life. At this hermitage that he settled into, it is said that for company, he planted a stand of bamboo. So this Zen student who couldn't answer his teacher's question was maybe, maybe, like some of us, I think some of us were precocious in our youth or at some point in our life.

[24:12]

Kind of navigated through various things, found what we thought were successes, and then at some point realized that we were still left with some question unanswered. Still left with something that didn't seem to be completely like... Oh, maybe to say it, we're still left with some doubt. And for all of us, one day, when we don't expect it, perhaps, when we're in the middle of the road of our life, if we're lucky, we're asked a question, like Jingyan was asked. But the question isn't always, what was your face before you were born? Sometimes the question is the look on the face of your child, wondering, what are you doing? Sometimes it might be a question that no one else is asking us, but we realize is in our heart.

[25:23]

For each of us, the question that can unmoor us, shipwreck us, turn us towards kind of an effort to understand who we really are, for each of us, this question is unique. And it's not just one question for the room here, it's one question for each one of us. How are we gonna live? How are we gonna walk with people? How are we gonna pay back the debt we owe for this precious, precious opportunity of a human life? Thomas Merton, the great Bodhisattva, Dayosho Thomas Merton. He wrote in his diary many years ago, he said, in order to be remembered or even wanted, I have to be the person that nobody knows. In order to be remembered, I have to be the person that nobody knows.

[26:35]

In this process, more than we can even, well, just maybe we do understand it. We can't do it alone. We need friends. We need spiritual friends. We need a sense of connection. We need a sense of, I think, a tremendous help in moving forward in our life is to stop feeling lonely and to feel connected to something more than just our own daydream. So we can't make this trip on our own. We need a Sangha, we need Dharma friends, or we can use other words than Dharma and Sangha, but we need company on the road. Let me get back to Guishan's disciple, this lonely person living in a hut who maybe wasn't really lonely.

[27:59]

Who am I to say? His name was Jingguan. And years and years after entering his quiet life, years after a quiet, settled, extremely modest life spent in the company of this mountainside hut. As he did so often, he was in front of the hut, sweeping the, I won't even call it lawn, of the pebbles and rocks that somehow, how do they, they magically accumulate. You turn your back and more little rocks and pebbles show up. It's a thing he did, he would sweep in front of his hut. And as he was sweeping his room, picked up one of those little pebbles, and it flew through the air, and it struck a bamboo stalk. And it made a noise.

[29:02]

So quiet. Ping. Actually, I can't imitate bamboo. Rocks hitting bamboo. But it went ping. And at that instant, he broke out into Spontaneous laughter. And his body was flooded with delight. He went back into his hut and he changed his clothes and put on his monastic garb that he didn't usually wear. He lit a stick of incense. He offered it in the direction of Guishan's temple. And as he bowed toward Guishan, he said, Master, your kindness is greater than my parents. If you'd answered my question years ago, I never would have come to this joy. And then he wrote a poem. One sound dissolves knowledge.

[30:07]

Struggle is no longer needed. Noble conduct beyond sound and form. No trace anywhere. Those who have mastered the way may call this unsurpassable activity. And then he walked to Guishan's temple and he offered Guishan this poem. And Guishan's response after reading it, he said, This fellow has gone through. This fellow has gone through. What does that mean?

[31:10]

What might that mean? Where did he go through to? This is no casual question, this question of where are you. You know, I'm reminded right now, just this popping in my head, the last part of the Heart Sutra, we say, gate, gate, paragate. Gone, gone, gone beyond. That's where he went through. This thing called practice is mysterious. gateway. It directly responds to causes and conditions, to the karmic circumstances of how we establish our life, how we live our life. And this practice is one that ripens in moments least expected. After 30 years of doubt, uncertainty, out on a solitary walk,

[32:18]

we glimpse a tree and bloom on a hillside in the distance, and our heart opens wide forever. After giving up completely surrendering to the modesty of a caretaker's life in the simplest possible hut you can imagine, without students or acclaim, with his sangha limited to a grove of bamboo, Suddenly, a stone swept from a room flies through the air, makes a sound. And in that moment, struggle is no longer needed. A noble experience beyond form and sound is revealed. That fellow went through. And this wild mystery of practice It's not just something that happens way back then.

[33:20]

It's not just something. It's, you know, like part of the history in the past. It is alive right now. It is alive today. It is alive in each of our hearts and their possibilities. It's alive when we go to buy right market and stand in the checkout line. So I want to say in full respect and love for the tradition of Zen, that a painted rice cake cannot feed us. And that the practice of Zen means nothing unless we make it real in our life, real in our breath, real in our hearts. And when we make it real, when we stand on our own two feet,

[34:22]

outside of the daydream of our life, at that moment it may be perhaps even a bit embarrassing to realize that after all the drama of our life, in the end what it comes down to is nothing more than making an effort to be a bit more kinder, a bit more open, a bit more generous about the limits of every moment. Because this very mind is Buddha. And this very moment has no end of discovery. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving.

[35:32]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[35:35]

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