This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. Good evening. I'm welcome to the Udivisite Temple. I dare to have you already here for the first time tonight. Would you guys your hands? Thank you. Okay, good. Welcome to you. How's the sound? Is it okay? Okay. My name is Rose Wade Curtis, and this occasion, this time, six weeks into a 10-week practice period that I am co-leading with .

[01:07]

And I think we're both very much enjoying working with each other. And we're also both enjoying the wonderful people that are participating in the practice period. We have students every year at the city center, and it's a time when new people can get residents here. So people can apply to do a practice period as a resident, and they come and live here for a practice period, and then they decide what they learn next. So there's lots of fresh and it's very inspiring to me when that happens and this particular group of people seems to be fully participating fully and it's just been a source of energy for the two of us that I appreciate a lot and I had the idea

[02:22]

that this part was timed to be just when we got to the juiciest part of the text, one of the texts that we're using for the baptism. And the juiciest part, this is Shantandeva's guide, and the juiciest part is the chapter on patients and how to use it. as an antidote to anger and emotions. So that's the part I wanted to talk about, another standpoint I will talk about tonight. But something else is happening that begs to be talked about. And this is it. This is a mountain, a yellow mountain. that was constructed in preparation for a mountain seat ceremony that we'll have this weekend.

[03:29]

And I'll go with that. It's an exciting thing. And a mountain seat ceremony is a ceremony to install in your public. So we'll talk more about that. And I want to say that I don't see this ceremony as, in any way, a distraction from the practice period. On quite a contrary, I think it lends texture and interest. And I know that there are people who came for this practice period who will probably remember the baptism ceremony more than anyone else. So I'm going to talk about it. And the theme of this talk might be life is always bubbling up. And that's how it appears to be right now at this moment.

[04:33]

But a lot has happened in the last year at Zen Center. And this moment of celebration that will culminate in the Mountain Seat Ceremony has arisen out of some sadness and grief. So sometimes I think it appears that there is life or death or gain or loss. And it would be possible to say that everything is always dying. And I think it's equally possible to say that life is always bubbling up. So maybe it's one of those is the box half and deep, half full kind of statements.

[05:34]

A different way of seeing what's actually just life. And Life seems to have a life of its own, notwithstanding my agenda or wishes. So another way to characterize what's happening is change is happening. Change and impending change are in the world. Change is always happening, but it's particularly in the forefront right now. And there has been change in the air since last February, when our abiding eldest, Christina Langham, fell when she was running the red box on Lockett Street.

[06:42]

And as she tells the story, she wasn't running because she was late or had to get somewhere or needed to catch that bus. She was running for the sheer joy and pleasure of running. And as I understand it, the next thing she knew, she was in the hospital. And she had apparently fallen and had a concussion. And a little time went by. I didn't know how much. And eventually she told me and others, everyone, that she planned to step down and salvage because The recovery was slower than she expected, and it left her with love, energy, and resilience that she felt she needed to do the job of being at us.

[07:56]

And I can certainly understand that it's an extremely demanding job. We all rely on that person so much for so much. So it's really a very, it's a focal point of the temple, of all the energy of the temple. So I felt a lot of sadness about this news, mostly just because I like Christina so much. And she was my supervisor. She's my boss, my immediate person I've been born to. So it's really important for that person to be somebody you like. And I also appreciated her feminine energy combined with feminine energy.

[08:59]

And it gave the voice a very nice joy. And I think she brought kindness into the temple. a listening ear and a receptivity to people near circumstances and what would enable them to practice. Something I personally got often from Christina was she has this creativity that seems to be about not going very often to the place of This is how we do it here. So I would sometimes present some alternatives and say, well, should we do it this way, or should we do it this way? And I usually get some completely fresh answer, but I've not thought about it at all. So I appreciated that, and it helps me to do my job.

[10:01]

And now I've probably noticed, Christina, not being able to do it. So since then, I think the feelings that a lot of us have have been a little edgy and unsettled. You know, the question that goes through my mind of course is, well, please look to you, what is it? And will I like that person? I think that's pretty natural. And I've been at American Science Center long enough to know that we don't choose habits quickly. We don't turn on when it comes to choosing habits. It takes a lot of time. So I was amazed that we actually made this decision every time we were.

[11:04]

We have a body called the Elders Council, which is exactly what it sounds like. It's a collection of some of the most senior people, some of them so old time that most of the newer people don't know. And it's their responsibility to propose a candidate to be Abbott. And then the board of directors gives files. And they usually do, because the oldest counsel does its work well and carefully. So I was astonished at the time being asked, and also I was very surprised and encouraged by their choice. I just didn't think of that person as a possibility somehow. I thought that was maybe available or something. I don't know why.

[12:05]

But they chose Ed Sattison. And I expect a lot of you who don't know Ed Sattison. He's a very early practitioner at Sattison who was a student of Suzuki Roshis. and he was a president of Zen Center back in the 70s. He left Zen Center work practice in 1983 and went and had a very successful career as an entrepreneur in microcomputer software. And he did that for a long time. And he is kind of, I think, an unusual leader.

[13:06]

He's very kind and almost universally liked and respected. And I insult the lady, almost, just because it seems like nothing exists. I never actually agree that anyone dislikes him. He's a mathematician with people skills. And I know this because for a couple of years, I was the treasurer of his anxiety. It was really hard, and I relied on Ed a lot. He had this ability. He could look at a big spreadsheet, and if there was a mistake on it, you could just zero right in and see if I know it. It was great. and all this kind. So he's a very smart guy and a leader who can inspire people to go in a certain direction.

[14:08]

And then he retired from his work career and took up the position of chair of work directors. And that was very beneficial for us. We did it at a hard economic time when you were having financial challenges. We were in the middle of a very ambitious capital campaign. And we were really reexamining who we wanted to be and what we wanted to operate for. coming to the conclusion that we wanted to expand our programming and offer more to more people, which required a lot of cultural salesmanship within the center and a lot of leadership. And he provided it. It was very helpful to us.

[15:12]

And then he was somewhere along the line, received lay entrustment, which is like dharma transition for a lay person. It's recognition that you are a teacher and that you can teach. I don't know if that's a San Francisco convention or not. I don't think it happened that we give dharma entrustment to a lay person. And then in 2005, he was ordained as a priest, and since has received general transmission as a priest. And it's very encouraging to me when I see someone like Evan, who loves the center and works in the world, come back when they're as old as I am.

[16:17]

Because it tells me that their interest in Buddhism was not just some youthful enthusiasm that they did when they went down full of energy, that it was a core part of their life that informs how they live and and practice in the world, and that's very important to me to see. Others have done it too, and it really inspires me. So, I don't know how long it was after that. I was very happy with that news and how these were going going well. And not too much later, we all received the news of our central advocate, Steve Stuckey's terminal cancer.

[17:26]

And he lived just about exactly three months after the diagnosis. So he passed away on December 31. And I expect those of you who come to these talks that many of you know that story already. because he included people deliberately, intentionally. He included everyone who was interested in his dying process. He had a bond. He gave up final during his time to talk about it, and he really tried to connect with people and allow them to be with him as much as he could with his limited energy. And to my view, he was as alive as anyone could be during this diet process.

[18:37]

He seemed to be deeply committed to teaching right after the last moment. And his teaching in his dying was about how to live. And it seemed to me that he exemplified a teaching of, do it now. You don't know how much time you have, so do it now. Tell people you wonder. and connect with people now. That's one of the teachings I got from him. I'm sure it would have been many more. So we had another decision to make about Salisana leadership, a very hard thing. And amazingly enough,

[19:43]

The second decision was also made in a very timely way. And the plan that was put forth was that Ed Sison would become the abiding avid at City Center as planned. And lived group cuts, we had the abiding avids that would become central avid replacing And through your sugar, a long time practitioner, a designated Green Gulch would become the body of a Supreme Gulch. And I think that's a wonderful leadership to you. I feel hope and confidence in the directions that someone will take. And I'm actually eager for them to come and so that we can start working together.

[20:46]

And we're looking forward to having these people here. So I don't have to wait long. This is all going to happen on Sunday. Fu and Ed will climb up on this mountain. give us their teaching. They'll do a Q&A with some people. Before that, the ceremony is really designed to include everything that the advocate needs to have to be supported to do the job. So it begins with a large perception. The perception includes five G-ships, five attendants, and all of the officers, the directors of all free practice places, the titles of all free practice places, and other senior practice leaders.

[21:55]

So it's probably about 20 people. I didn't have a long perception. And they go all over the building. They start at the front door, and go to the Zendo and the Taisando, various rooms, the Dolan. So it really includes all of the areas and all of the functional areas and work areas of the Dolan in the ceremony, and the people that the other will most work with. And of course, the other people will be in front of me. Hundreds of people come to the ceremony, so the legal hall will be jam-packed, and there will be an overflow crowd in the dining room watching us scream. But this year, for the first time ever, it will also be live-streamed, so people watch it in the comfort of a living room with hot water.

[23:01]

So Evan commented the other day that he was finding it a very interesting exercise to write the 18 statements that will make as he travels around the building. Part of what happens around this, one of our traditions, is that should we use Suzuki Reishi as our His son, who exists in Tidoshi, comes with a couple of ceremonies from the family tunnel in Japan and spends a week or two with us, training us and guiding us through this very complicated ceremony. And he's here now. And the rehearsals started today. There was a rehearsal that went from 1.30 to, I don't know, 5 or 5.30, something like that.

[24:10]

And there are more rehearsals tomorrow than the next day. And then Saturday we spend cooking and setting things up. And we have a stunning demo ceremony for Christina Lightman and saying goodbye to her. But we aren't really saying goodbye, I hope, because I think she'll do that. One of the special things for me about this process of getting ready for the Madison ceremony is that Eno and I don't lead on these rehearsals. There's a master of ceremonies who does that. some responsibility to know what's going on. We were told by the Master of Ceremonies to be deeply familiar with it.

[25:17]

So our way of achieving that deep familiarity was to watch videos from 2007. And I at least was watching this really goal-oriented, functional way. You know, I was looking for all the technical, how did they do this, where did they go after them to die, and that was my focus. So much so that I was completely off guard and taken aback when suddenly Alex's case was on the camera. And it was very moving. Then to watch this ceremony where people were making statements, his dear friends were making supportive statements, and he was making statements. It's very moving to watch this. This was his installation ceremony in 2007.

[26:21]

And there's a part of the ceremony where people go upstairs and sign papers and seal them with the temple seal. And it's private. And while that's happening, there's an intermission in the Google Hall. And it was like a cocktail party with no cocktails in the Google Hall. And it was on film. So it was really interesting to watch this. And this is actually one of the things I like about Simcenter is the sort of family union holiday. It was like getting up the family slides and showing them and looking at people that you haven't seen for a long time. And some of you were no longer with this. And that was the case here. I saw Luke Harden, Blanche's husband, and Darlene Cohen. And I saw a much younger version of myself and a lot of other people.

[27:29]

So it was really... pregnant to see those people that have since died, or they're just older. But I enjoyed that part of this family very much. So I think in this case, which is a little different from a mountain seat ceremony that happens just because, yeah, sperm is up. This is providing a container for some of our feelings, some of our love feelings, to help us, I hope, make some sense of the confusion and the complicated feelings that we have. And for me, it really likes to be a good dependence on birth and death. It just seems like a sea of stuff happening.

[28:35]

We put these labels on it. But in any given moment of time, it might be done. And I think this ceremony expresses our commitment to continue this as a place of practice, to continue our practice life in the world. And for that, it gives me great hope. I think it was even before I came to practice that I read a little essay that really stuck with me by Learning Isley. Learning Isley is a naturalist who writes well. and this little essay was called The Judgment of the Birds and he tells the story of how he was hiking one day and had been hiking all morning and was very tired and he found a little clearing in the woods

[29:55]

I was sat down leaning against a tree trunk, and he must be. And he woke up sometime later to a lot of caution, a cacophony of wild bird sounds and fluttering of birds. The bird sounds were very distressed. And he looked up and saw sitting on a tree branch this enormous raven with a tiny red squirting a bird in his mouth. And all the commotion was the complaint

[30:56]

sounds of its parents circling overhead helplessly and desperately. And what surprised him next was that the little blade began to fill up with birds of half a dozen different kinds, softly complaining. protesting, objecting to this sleek, fat bird, this bird of guff amidst the grade of life. And the Raven just sat there unreturned, ignored them, unmoved. And the floodplain went on for a while. there was some stillness.

[31:57]

And then, a song I swallowed started to sing, hesitantly. On the 11th grade, hesitantly joined in, but it was as if there was this evil thing that they were forgetting. So it was all very tentative. And then more groups joined in, and the song went from good to good. And pretty soon, they were all just singing joyfully. They had forgotten the label. They were singing because life is sweet and sunshine is beautiful.

[33:05]

So the judgment of the birds goes for life. We're not birds. And one of the differences is that we can think. And I think that emotions don't last very long. But we do keep them alive with our thoughts. Because of our thinking capacity, our emotions recur. They come back to us. So we're not going to forget. But I also think that there's space. When we have grief, it isn't just solid grief. It's grief mixed in with joy and promise and hope and suffering.

[34:18]

All those things are happening all the time. and we can be aware of them. And I just want to be very clear about what I'm not saying there. I'm not saying that we should get over it, or that we won't grieve, or that we'll forget. I'm just saying that within all that sadness There's also joy that bubbles up at times. And we go for your gift life, because that's what you do as you know deals. Life is life. Life has its own life, and will be unfair. So that's all I have to say.

[35:21]

There was this question and answer part of the ceremony on Sunday. I'm going to ask a question. I was wondering if you took part in the ceremony, what question might you have for one of your incoming habits? I'm so glad I didn't have I would probably say, what are you going to do? But then I know he's already answered that. He said, I'm going to wait and see. I'm going to ask you what's going on. So many answers. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center.

[36:40]

Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving, may we fully enjoy the doymo.

[36:59]

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