This podcast is offered by San Francisco's Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Morning again, everyone. As Koro was saying that tomorrow there may be more people joining us and more than we normally see. I was thinking there's always... more people than we see joining us. It is impossible for there to be not more people joining us. The whole universe is showing up in every moment, even though it may be invisible to us. So it's great to be with you all again, those who are visible and also non-visible. And another day in Sushin, who knows what day it is. another Dharma talk, who knows which Dharma talk this is, and another day of studying karma together, which we've been doing for anyone who's maybe just hearing this talk, just joining for the first time through this seven-day sashim.

[01:10]

We've been studying karma as well as doing the whole 10-week fall practice period, which this sashim is the culmination of. And I think studying karma simply means that we're We're bringing it out. We're bringing it out in the open. We're really turning towards it so that we can see it clearly. And, you know, as practitioners of the Buddha way, we're always studying karma. And we're always in the midst of karma. Always seeing it, seeing its consequences and feeling its weight, its impact. And as practitioners discovering also how to use karma, how to be skillful with our karma, more and more adapt in order to live with a better sense of purpose, with a better sense of clarity.

[02:13]

So karma becomes a powerful tool rather than a burden in this way. Over the last several days, we've been diving into a well-known koan of Bajan's fox, which is often used in Zen, has been used in Zen for centuries for the study of koan. And how does that do to our ignorance, fundamental ignorance? We reap the results of karmic retribution, if you want to use that word. We've come to understand that it may take a very long time, 500 lifetimes. in some instances, in order to work through and resolve the fruits of our unwholesome actions of body, speech, and mind, and eventually be liberated from karma. And as you'll recall, in the Koan, an old man who, you know, we could say is apparently once a former abbot of the monastery, he recounts to the current abbot of the monastery, Baizhang,

[03:21]

a dharma error, a mistake that he made long ago. It's said in the time before Shakyamuni Buddha. That's a very long time ago. And that mistake, that error had serious consequences, serious repercussions for his path of practice. And he says, a student asked me, does an enlightened person fall into cause and effect? I said to them, no, such a person does not. Because I said this, I became a wild fox for 500 lifetimes. Venerable Bajan, please say a turning word for me. Free me of this wild fox body. So he asked Bajan for a Dharma pointer so he could attain a clear seeing, a clear understanding, and thus be absolved. We could say purified. of the unwholesome results of fruits that came about due to his teaching the students, maybe misdirecting the students, by saying that an awakened being could be immune to cause and effect.

[04:33]

And Bai Zhang compassionately clarified for him that actually an awakened person does not obscure cause and effect. They do not ignore nor are blind to the law of causation. And furthermore, neither do they ignore interdependent arising. So an awakened being does not fall on either side of the razor's edge. They neither succumb to the false view of a permanent, separate self, nor do they fall into, call it the Zen sickness, of only seeing the world through emptiness or the absolute view. And this is why the Buddha advocated the middle way, the middle way between two extremes. However, unless you try to grasp on to something called the middle way, you should know that the middle way itself is always a moving target.

[05:39]

One that only arises without every step along the way. As Vicky shared yesterday in her Dharma talk, Dogen himself, a Dogen, acknowledged how many mistakes I've made in trying to navigate the way. And there's an often repeated phrase in Zen, one continuous mistake, which is, I've read, it's likely a paraphrase from Dogen's fascicle in which he says, stepping forward is a mistake. Stepping backwards is also a mistake. Taking one step is a mistake. Taking two steps is also a mistake. Therefore, one mistake after another mistake. So in other words, whatever we say or do is a mistake.

[06:47]

You're going to fall into karma. in most instances, unless you're a fully awakened being. But our compassionate ancestors, like Bhaija, taught that our mistakes and the path of practice, the Buddha way, are not true. They're interdependent. We don't practice because we're perfect. Our practice is the practice of perfection itself. We practice because we are karmic beings. There is practice because there is karma. Without karma, there would be no practice. Without karma, there would be, there wouldn't have been no Chakyamuni Buddha. No Eidogin. No Suzuki Rashi.

[07:51]

No you or me. No Dharma wheel. The wheel of the Dharma turns because the wheel of karma and samsara turn. There's only compassion because there's suffering. You can't separate the two. Only see. their true reality. So given this, I have a question for you. My question is, have you finally forgiven yourself for your 500 lives as a fox? And, by the way, who said it was a mistake to be a fox to begin with? But are you still... Admonishing yourself, punishing yourself, berating yourself, judging yourself, thinking somehow you're not worthy in some way because you've made mistakes in your life.

[09:01]

Because you're a messy karmic being like the rest of us, like all the Buddhists and ancestors were before they realized they were Buddhists and ancestors. would it take for you to love yourself enough to forgive yourself? To forgive yourself now, not when you're a Buddha, but in this moment, as a fox, to love yourself completely and forgive yourself. Ultimately, you've done nothing wrong. Even Even the Buddhists and the masters can't find a single iota of a thing called mistake in the whole universe. And yet the wheel of samsara and the wheel of dharma turn and turn.

[10:04]

Some of you in Dokkasan this week have told me that you've been reflecting on your 500 fox lives. And what often comes up for you is a lot of sorrow, a lot of regret and shame, dismay, disappointment. Some of you have spoken of feeling a deep remorse for all your mistakes, particularly all the ways you've done harm, not only to others, but also to yourself. The ways... which you have been mean or judgmental. Maybe have been deceptive, have lied, seduced, tricked people. How you at times shapeshifted your persona, your affect in order to manipulate others for personal gain.

[11:16]

Maybe whether it was to acquire friendships with the cool people. Or maybe obtain certain promotions at work or in other areas. Or maybe solicit financial perks. Or even sex. And there were times when you weren't really You weren't really trying to be deceptive. But because of your ignorance or your naivete, maybe you made a significant error that hurt another person. A number of you confess that the person you are most cruel to, however, has been yourself. How could you ever forgive yourself, you wondered.

[12:19]

And a number of you said that as a consequence. You were having difficulty sitting in the midst of the waves of remorse and regrets that were coming up in Zazen. Feeling helpless in some instances as there was no way now to make amends because some of the people you've hurt, they were no longer alive. or they're not reachable for whatever reason. And a couple of you said you felt somewhat trapped, not knowing how to free yourself. Like the old man in the fox car, you were, you were wanting a way to absorb your ancient twisted karma, so you could be released and dwell in peace. So I think it's no secret we're complicated, messy, imperfect beings.

[13:30]

It's part of the karma of being born human. And due to our karmic consciousness and our imperfections, we frequently make mistakes. We frequently cause harm, whether intentionally or unintentionally. And what Buddhist practice asks of us, is that we awaken to the ways we are imperfect. And by doing so, go beyond our imperfections. Chahakokomara says that awakening to our imperfections is repentance. In Buddhism, repentance does not mean saying, I'm sorry because it's a mistake I made. That kind of repentance is irrelevant. But as Buddhist repentance means awareness of our imperfections and limitations.

[14:32]

Vow and repentance are two kinds of energy that enable us to continue our practice. Zazen itself is the practice of vow. Zazen itself is the practice of repentance. I had spoken earlier in the practice period about vow. A vow is this way of guiding us and directing us to our deepest intention in life. Our vow to wake up with all beings, perhaps. So I'm going to return to this idea that Sazen is itself the practice of repentance shortly. But I want to first confess that early in life, I had a lot of trouble with the word repentance. I do in part, large part, to my men and I religious background and how often I've been told that I was born a sinner who needed to repent in order to be saved by the Lord.

[15:39]

I don't know how many of you have kind of been raised in an environment, but that was one of the messages you received in your spiritual upbringing. Maybe for you it resonated. For me, it didn't. And I have to say it didn't help even later on when apparently I was even a worse sinner for being queer. And therefore, I needed to repent my homosexual ways. Otherwise, I'd surely burn in hell. Obviously, that fear tactic wasn't strong enough for me to make me mend my sinful ways. I'm so queer and free in that queerness. And I needed to find another path that actually allowed me to include my whole being, in which being who I was wasn't a mistake, wasn't a sin.

[16:49]

sometime after I began practice about 30 years ago, I came across a Greek word, metanoria, metanoria, which is a Greek word. It literally means change of mind. And according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it originated from the Greek word metanoria. I'm not sure if I'm saying that right, so please forgive me if I'm not. which means to change one's mind or repent. To change one's mind or repent. A metanoia is often used in a religious context to refer to repentance. And I think it's also very applicable in a Buddhist context. But the emphasis and the power behind the type of repentance that metanoia is about, it's not about guilt or shame. instead implies making a decision to turn around and to face in a new direction.

[17:54]

And just an aside, I read once that the concept of guilt is not in Tibetan Buddhism. Rather, the emphasis is on intelligent regret. Intelligent regret is that helps us to decide to do things differently. which I think is in the spirit of metanoia. So metanoia is also described as a transformation, a conversion, if you will, using a spiritual conversion, it's in the context, it's often used in. And also, it's also been described as the process of, or a journey of changing one's mind, or heart, or sense of self or a way of life. We could say to turn toward the light, to turn the light inward. And when we turn the light around and shine an inward, what we discover in time is the truth of the Buddhist teaching that there is no permanent, singular, independent, separate self.

[19:12]

And we discovered that our thoughts and perceptions and feelings about the world are nothing more than fabrications. And discovering this truth through our own insight, discovering it true for ourselves, not just because the Buddha said, changes our minds about who we fundamentally are, as well as the nature of our suffering. We also recognize that we've been acting on a false belief in separation between self and other. We see the world as separate in some way. There's me and all the rest of you are over there. And we act on that belief, that perception. And what we think of as our person is only an aggregate from a Buddhist perspective. aggregate of forms, feelings, or sensations, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness.

[20:19]

These are the five secundas. And furthermore, our present body and mind experiences are dependent on the previous moments, if you will, of our body and mind. So we are independently arisen, And at the same time, we each have a, you can think of it as a unique causal series of patterns, behaviors, formations that we call me and you. I spoke earlier about the eddies. Each of us are kind of eddies, water patterns and circles in a particular way. We identify with the ways that those patterns kind of Arise and circle. And this pattern series of cause and effect plays out over time.

[21:24]

Which is how we account for our personal memories, our habit patterns, our karmic causality. Everything we intentionally do with this body, speech, or thought is called karma. In the causal discourse, which is one of the numerical discourses that Buddha spoke, he said, any action originating from greed, hate, or delusion will have an effect wherever that individual arises, wherever that eddy or whirlpool arises. And it will be one experience, will experience the effect, either in this life, in the next life, or in subsequent lives, right? So the Buddha taught that karmic effects can be purified by somehow simply eliminating them.

[22:30]

The effects of karma must exhaust themselves. The energy, right, the energy of volitional action, that volitional energy that first rises up and sets the Eddie Whirlpool spinning, right? And sends ripples out into the world. It must be in time released, used up, exhausted, play itself out in some. And as we saw in the wild fox cone, this could take a very long time. So how is it that we can be free from the painful results of our previous actions? Or at least we can begin to lighten their karmic load. I appreciate how is a Dharma teacher.

[23:37]

He was a former resident at San Francisco Zen Center and also lived and taught at San Francisco Zen Center for a number of years. He outlines what we can consider the path of purification of karma in Zen practice in an essay with the same topic. And he notes that first we must be willing to admit that we intentionally did something harmful to another. And this harm, we should understand, is rooted in the false belief of each of us being separate. being separate selves, rather than being dependent on the covas and beings. So when we're able to admit this, which is, I think, perhaps the biggest hurdle to overcome, this acknowledgement is called confession or a vow. So he writes, then based on this confession, we can open to the feeling of sincere regret.

[24:45]

that past action. This is repentance. Finally, based on this repentance, we can resolve to refrain from such actions in the future. If our regret from past harm is sincere, then resolve for future non-harm naturally follows. If we don't feel resolved to avoid some harmful action in the future, then we have not really regretted that action in the past. All this can be done without holding the false view of an independent, separate self. But it does require understanding the conventional person as a causal series, meaning a collection of conditioned mental and behavior habit patterns. Thus, he writes, confession and repentance for the past, along with resolve for the future, is a necessary part of the purification of karma.

[25:51]

Again, confession and repentance for the past, along with the resolve for the future, change of mind, is a necessary part of the purification of karma. If these steps are skipped over, then we will probably continue to do the same type of harmful actions over and over. And purification is not possible. So Dogen, he wrote an essay titled Karma in the Three Periods. And the three periods refer to karmic effects being experienced either in this life, in the next life, or subsequent lives beyond next life, right? Many lives, 500 lives, right? Of whatever causal series of body-mind eddies manifest.

[26:52]

And Dogen writes in his essay, as the Buddha says, once wholesome and unwholesome karma is done, the effects will not disappear even after a hundred, a thousand, or ten thousand eons. One receives the karmic effect when the conditions for that come together. However, unwholesome actions have lighter results by repenting of them. Wholesome actions have greater results by rejoicing in them. So, this process of repenting for unwholesome actions makes them lighter. The energetic load that's behind... Our errors and mistakes and unwholesome behavior gets lightened. Some of that heaviness burns off through this act of repenting, right? And also our wholesome actions, when we rejoice in them, they have even greater effect, says Doga.

[27:58]

They get buoyed up even further when we rejoice in our wholesome actions. So celebrate your wholesome actions in that way. Acknowledge them, not from a place of selfing, but from a place in which there is this appreciation of being able to act selfless for the benefit of all beings. Every morning in our Zen tradition, we recite the repentance verse. the avatamsaka sutra at the start of our morning service. And we also begin our monthly precepts renewal ceremony, our full moon ceremony with it. And it's also included in the ordination ceremony when someone receives the bodhisattva precepts. So this is a very important verse, which I imagine if you've been even to one event at the Zen Center, you've probably heard it, you know, all my ancient twisted karma.

[29:03]

From beginningless greed, hate, and delusion, born through body, speech, and mind, I now fully avow. And that word avow here means to acknowledge, admit, or confess in action. But strictly speaking, according to Shawa Kokomura, the sino Japanese term used here is sange, S-A-N-G-E. It's meant to, it means to repent or to feel regret for an action that has been avowed, that has been acknowledged, to feel regret for an action that you have acknowledged. And the Lotus Sutra tells us this purification vow. You can think of it as a confession and renunciation. It's meant to have us sit upright. this vows means to have us come back up to sit upright.

[30:09]

Which according to Darwin is an expression of renouncing all of our past and wholesome actions. And in the process then to contemplate the true nature, the true characteristics of all things. According to Ka-sanahashi, the Japanese word for repent, is hapsuro. Hapsuro. And literally means begin to reveal. Begin to reveal. So in this sense, repentance means we are no longer hiding our secrets. Or ourselves. We show ourselves. We are fully transparent. We fully show up and reveal ourselves, words and all. I think the Shusau mentioned this, that there's a previous talk, there's an old 12-step saying that we are only as sick as our secrets.

[31:20]

So when there are no secrets, when we fully reveal ourselves, that's a process of healing. by owning and revealing our mistakes and our afflictions, we step towards what you can think of as purity and freedom. Not purity being more of an openness, a clarity, open-heartedness is our intent, an open-heart mind. Repent, meaning begin to reveal. And I appreciate this vis-à-vis the formless repentance of Zazen. Zazen is the process of fully revealing ourselves, turning the light of our Buddha mind, our awareness, our luminous awareness, inward, to fully illuminate and reveal who we are. And in this way, Zazen becomes a process of revelation.

[32:30]

Zazen is a process of revelation in which we melt away the mental obscurations, the karmic hindrances, that cloud, our clear seeing. And in the process, thus revealing the true person that we are, Don't you want to see that you're already Buddha? Why would you not want to see you're already Buddha? Sitsasem, see that you are already Buddha. In his book, Living by Vow, Chihakokomori describes two kinds of repentance in Chinese and Japanese Buddhism. He says that

[33:33]

One is formal on concrete repentance. It's called Ji Sanghe, in which we repent concrete offense by means of rituals conducted with the help of a particular Buddha, teacher, or Sanghe member. And then he mentioned another kind of repentance, which is Ri Sanghe. And according to Okamura, this Ji and Ri at the beginning of Sanghe are important concepts in Chinese Buddhism. So Ji, J-I refers to the relative or the conventional or the phenomenal or formal levels of existence, whereas re, or I, refers to the absolute, the sometimes called the supreme or the total or the formless level. So the original meaning of repentance is to reflect on one's misdeeds and confess them to the Sangha. I made a mistake.

[34:35]

I'm going to reveal my mistake. I'm going to be transparent. There's nothing to hide. And this revealing is a form of concrete, formal repentance. So an example of formal repentance is our, again, our daily recital of the repentance verse that I mentioned previously. And as well as the full moon, the Bodhisattva full moon precept ceremony. That is a form of formal repentance. It marks the public renewal of our commitment to the ethical practices known as the 16 Bodhisattva precepts. If we've taken those precepts and we have violated them some way, we've fallen off, we've made a mistake, we confess and repent and we say, I wish to start anew. Mm-hmm. So the ceremony itself, the ceremony of precepts, begins with a confession and repentance and then avow to live from a place of clear seeing and clear conduct.

[35:39]

And it's also a tradition in Zen to offer formal repentance in the form of the precepts to one who has recently died. Which is why Naizan, in the koan, agreed to hold a funeral for the fox body at the old man's request. so that the fox body could repent. So again, the second repentance of Zen is Yui-san, formless repentance. Sitting in Zazen and letting go of thoughts is formless repentance. And the Soto Zen tradition has emphasized this kind of repentance for several hundred years. Dogen, however, He specifically enunciates the difference between these two kinds of repentances in his writing. He says that formal repentance is for our misdeeds that break the bodhisattva precepts we receive when we become Buddhist students.

[36:46]

Formless repentance, on the other hand, is to awaken to the total interpenetrating reality beyond the separation of subject and object. Self. in others. So this form of awakening to the nondual nature of reality is Zaza. And Okamura also notes that there is another deeper meaning of repentance. We live in the reality of our life, whether or not we observe the precepts. No one can escape from this reality, even when we are deluded. We live in reality as deluded human beings. Ultimately, there is no separation between reality and delusion. In other words, reality includes delusions. Even though we live in the reality that is beyond discrimination, we have to discriminate in our day-to-day lives.

[37:48]

We have to decide what is good or bad. Without discrimination, we can do nothing. Even as we practice the Buddhist teachings, We have to make choices. This is the unavoidable reality of our concrete lives, our relative lives, right? And I'll add, this is why we cannot ignore or be blind to karma. Karma arises from the choices we enact. And however, there's one practice which is said to be an exception to this. And that exception is zazen. Bokumara says that when we sit in this posture and open the hand of thought, we are truly free from discrimination. Whenever thoughts come up, we just let them go. In our daily activities, however, we have to make choices based on discrimination, even though we practice the reality that is beyond discrimination.

[38:49]

Even when we try to manifest the reality beyond discrimination, we have to... discriminate and make choices about the best way to do so. Repentance means that although I think this is the best to do in this situation, I recognize that it might be a mistake. It might even be harmful to others. So we can't escape making discriminations in our day-to-day lives. And even though we may have our best intentions, we may fall down. it may cause harm to others or to herself, and to recognize that. There's a significant verse of repentance in the Lotus Sutra, also known as the Threefold Lotus Sutra, and a chapter titled Samantabhaja Sutra. This is the final chapter of the Lotus Sutra, if anyone who's read it before looked in it.

[39:52]

It's also referred to this last chapter as the Repentant Sutra. So this verse addresses formless repentance, this re-sangha that I'm talking about, as well as repentance of true reality, which is known as jiso-sangha. So the verse goes like this. In the ocean of all karmic hindrances arises solely from delusory thoughts. If you wish to make repentance, sit in upright posture, and be mindful of the true reality. All misdemeanors, like frost and dew, are melted away in the sun of wisdom. Again, I read that. In the ocean of all karmic hindrances arises solely from delusory thoughts. If you wish to make repentance, sit in upright posture, and be mindful of the true reality. All misdemeanors, like frost and dew, are melted away in the sun

[40:55]

of wisdom. So karma in this verse means the karma of all of activities, all of our ancient twisted karma. Not just our mistakes and contact, but everything that we ever do, all the good stuff, even our good actions, can create karmic hindrances. If there's even an ounce, a hairbreadth of self-centeredness, You can think of it as when you're giving money, for example, to a homeless person you find as you're walking down the street. And you do it maybe because you want to feel good. You want to feel like you're a good person. Not so much that you actually feel or want to connect with the person. You just want to feel like, I'm a good person. Look at me. I'm giving money to someone in need. Such a giving is not in harmony, according to the... with the reality of oneness, with impermanence and our interdependent originated nature.

[42:02]

Because there is still an element of self-cleaning. There's still this egocentric motivation. What's called in this verse, delusory thoughts. There's some stickiness. Or you could say a perfume of hindrance that is left behind. And the verse says that if you wish to make repentance, sit in an upright posture and be mindful of the true reality. All misdemeanors like frost and dew are melted away in the sun of wisdom. So as bodhisattvas, serving all beings, we need to be sure that even our good deeds, our good actions are free of suffering. That we're not perceiving a self and an other. as we go about our activities. Our motivation and action are to be grounded in true reality, meaning in direct immediate experience.

[43:12]

We can think of it as the first men, not in really our thinking about it, which is the second and third men. So in Zaza, we let go of thoughts. You've heard this instruction probably a thousand times. Let go of thoughts. But do we know what that actually means? So we simply allow the war on sunlight of Buddha's wisdom to melt away both our thoughts and misdemeanors. You can't let go of thoughts. You just don't engage the energy of thoughts. You just direct awareness. on the thought as it arises, not getting about the content, and that warm light of awareness itself dissolves the thought. So we allow our frozen and fixed ideas about the world, and the discriminations and the dualities that they create to evaporate, like dew, or melt away.

[44:23]

And in this way, when this happens, we become intimate with both ourselves and with each other and with the ocean of reality. Okamura, he clarifies, however, that our practice is not a means to get rid of delusory thoughts. I'm like, huh, what? Mindful, being mindful of true reality is not a method to eliminate delusions. In fact, we sit in Zazen, we sit squarely within the reality before the separation of delusion and enlightenment. We usually think of ourselves as deluded human beings and of Buddhas as enlightened beings. We imagine that our practice is a method to transform a deluded being into an enlightened one by removing delusion. This idea itself is itself dualistic and contrary to the reality before separation.

[45:29]

So to be clear, this doesn't mean that we should give up our practice and pursue our delusions. What we must do instead is to sit in Zazen and let go of all our dualistic ideas. And in doing so, true reality the totality of our life manifests itself. We don't have to do anything. We just rest in it. And by resting, we allow delusion and enlightenment to both be there. We're neither negating or affirming either of them. We're not grasping on to either of them. Because when we try to grasp on to things, it's just an idea of something. Any grasping only arises Because you have a thought or an idea that there is something other. So we sit, you can think of it as on the ground of letting go. Renunciation. Let go, let go.

[46:37]

Don't grasp. And this is the meaning of Dogen Senji's expression, practice and realization, or sometimes it's good stuff, just as practice and enlightenment are one. So there's no other state or experience or anything to be attained in our zazen other than the practice of release. Let go. Feel that letting go in your body, mind, every ounce of your being. Feel that release. Note where you're clinging. Note where there's even a small contraction of selfing. and pinpoint awareness onto that exact location and allow it to simply shine and slowly melt and release that contractiveness. So we practice with our delusions, our contractions, and we manifest realization through our sitting practice and our daily activities.

[47:50]

We take our zazen, interrelated activities. You get up off your cushion and you walk in the world, that sunlight is still with you. And everything you see and every activity you do, you're just shining that sunlight, allowing your thoughts and concepts about the world to melt as you engage with them. And in doing so, this enables us to settle into our lives. because we realize our lives are the whole existence, the ground of reality itself. In the Sautazam ceremony of receiving the precepts, I know many of you have taken this ceremony, participated. After the verse, the repentance verse is recited, the preceptor declares that the Odinan, meaning the person who has received the precepts, has now been purified.

[48:53]

And now being purified, they are ready to receive the precepts. So it's very important that we purify ourselves. We clear our heart-minds first in order to receive these profound precepts, these guidelines for how to move forward in our life. And Dogen mentions the purifying power of repentance in his... He says, the power of repentance will purify and help you. This power will nurture trust. Sometimes that word is translated as faith. This power will nurture trust or faith and effort free from hindrance. And then a little further on in the fascicle, Dogen writes, With repentance, you will certainly receive invisible help from Buddha ancestors. Repent to the Buddhas with mind and body. Turn to the Buddhas with mind and body.

[49:58]

Turn to your own Buddha mind and body, your real Buddha mind and body, not your conceptual mind and body. What you truly are, turn to it. The power of repentance melts. the root of unwholesomeness. This is the single color of true practice, the true heart of trust, the true heart of faith, the body, the true body of trust, and the true body of faith. And you might recognize this quote as the last few lines of the Ayi Kosa Hutzipelma, which a number of us have been chanting for noon service at Baha City Center throughout the Sashim. So, does this... purification mean that we have suddenly become magically pure and all of our burdens have been lifted like a magic wand you're purified sorry it doesn't work that way there's no magical absolution in this case right there's no buddhist fairy godmother who's going to come along and just transform you right it's the purifying power

[51:12]

of repentance, comes from our acceptance of ourselves, accepting that we are messy karmic beings. And when we accept ourselves, then that gives rise to a sense of willingness, a willingness to change, a willingness to change our lives. I accept who I am, And out of that acceptance, I have volition, a will, a intention to change my mind. So rather than be defensive or to deny our accountability for our actions, our mistakes, we need to willingly accept and take ownership for our minds, for our afflictive patterns of behavior, speech, mental pattern.

[52:26]

And sure, we may have been ignorant of the cause and effect of these afflictions, where they started from long ago when we were a child. Who knows how we kind of, those spinning patterns got started. We may not know. The beginning was, you know, causes and conditions. But our making repentance, we're making a commitment to ourselves to accept all of our ancient twisted karma from beginning this greed, hate, and delusion. We no longer have the excuse of ignorance. I have revealed it. I have seen it. I acknowledge it. And so after repentance, as we become more aware of our afflictions, our karmic afflictions, we accept them and become willing to practice with them.

[53:26]

Oh yes, I'm a messy human being. Okay, I want to practice with my messiness. And this is what our Zen ancestors did. And this is the way I practice that they have passed down to us. A lot of them were messy human beings, folks. They weren't born, you know, on karmic. They were all foxes, just like you and me. And so our resolve and our willingness can be inspired by the examples set by our Zen ancestors. You know, as in, Dogen puts it, the invisible help from our Buddha ancestors. They're helping us all the time. We just don't know it. All the time they're available to us. I'll wrap up in a moment. I'm going a little bit longer today. My apologies.

[54:27]

Bear with me. So rather than turning away or ignoring or hiding from our past karma, from our mistakes and our mistaken views, Can we be willing to admit that we have acted in unwholesome ways? Meaning, have acted based on dualistic thought and perception. I have acted in ways in which I have perceived self and other as separate. I have done that. And I continue to do that. And because I'm a karmic, delivered being, I will probably continue to do that. But can we feel regret? for such thoughts and actions. And change our minds to go in a direction where we're less inclined to do that. And when we do this, doing so allows us to more, look more deeply into the nature of karma. We see the nature of karma, we see its true nature, and our true nature.

[55:32]

And then when we do, we can act accordingly, we can skillfully change our minds and in the process, change our karma. Again, this is how complete purification of karma can happen. I want to quote again from the Repentance Sutra to wrap up. And this has the following to say, all things are neither permanent nor annihilated. If one repents like this, when contemplating one's own mind, there is no mind that can be found. Things do not abide in themselves, but are naturally liberated, verifying the truth of sensation of suffering. This is called great repentance, sublime repentance, repentance without faults, and the end of dualistic consciousness. The end of dualistic consciousness. And then it continues with...

[56:36]

The foremost repentance verse that I shared with you earlier. The whole ocean of obscurations from past karma arises from illusory imagination, from delusion, illusory thoughts. If one wants to repent for these actions, sit upright and contemplate or see the true nature of things. All thoughts are like frost and dew, which evaporate in the dawn of wisdom sun. does wholeheartedly repent of the dualistic experience, the ways that our six senses, right, create the subject and object that are separate. And Kezan Zenji, he has a commentary on the transmission of the lights on the classical about the ancestor Jayata, he says, in that, if the root of ignorance is cut, one realizes the original nature of mind.

[57:37]

The branches and leaves of karma and its effects no longer seem to truly exist as they used to be. So what the Buddha Dharma is teaching is that the complete purification of past and four actions, the purification of our karma, is based on the understanding of emptiness and non-duality. All of our karmic actions and their results, all of our mistakes and hindrances, are really just a manifestation of Buddha nature. Your mistakes and your hindrances are just a manifestation of Buddha nature. Does that change the way you relate to them when you think about that? And as such, we and our mistakes are already pure and free. What we take to be our mistakes, or you and me, or any appearance that arises in our mind worlds, nothing more than a reflection of cause and effect.

[58:42]

When this and that appearing on what we say in Buddhism, the boundless clear mirror of awareness. The boundless clear mirror of unchanging awareness. So we can think of our true self, our perfected self, as a boundless mirror. or a deep, still ocean upon which all phenomena and experiences appear. So there's one ocean, many ways. One mind, many karmas. All naturally and already liberated. Other being nothing other than empty, luminous awareness. So when you sit in zazen, sit as if you were a mirror. Just be a mirror in zazen. Receive and reflect the whole world. So let's return once more again to upright sitting, to repent our karma and resolve to start anew by allowing our thoughts to arise, our thoughts, emotions, whatever comes up for you in your zazen.

[60:04]

They arise, they make themselves known for a period of time, and then melt away, dissolved by the warm sunlight of our ever-present awareness, our true nature. So, thank you very much for your extended patience and your kind attention, and please enjoy your Zazen. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge. And this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

[60:55]

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