January 26th, 2002, Serial No. 04072

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the topic as is worse

why is that
thank you can also hit work epic is
less than a working spirit over
first value package worth what a wonderful book
thank you
yeah i'm really richmond i really am
and i used to be here a long time ago i don't think i've really given a dharma talk in this hall for about twenty years but doesn't seem so long really it looks pretty much the same
few more statues maybe some of these statues i i was in you know it was part of the process of buying them like that
stone statue up there
i was telling michael know when i'm recording this for a friend
i don't know if everybody realizes how my usual at statue is it comes from afghanistan you know gandhara gondar is that gas ten
which was a great center of buddhism in the first place that
statues of buddha were made and they were made because of the greeks the greeks had statues of their gods apollo in particular and when the buddhists in that area
saw that they kind of got into that they started making statues as you can see where the western face and it looked kind of like apollo although their city like a buddha so it's kind of an apollo buddha and
is that thing is an authentic original there's no museum i think anywhere in the world except maybe in afghanistan before they destroyed all the statues in the museum's that is good as that so hope you are appreciative it's beautiful i haven't seen it in a long time so it's nice to see it's kind of like an old friend
how am i doing voice is everybody
feel like i'm mumbling
well who moved my car
i also can speak a lot louder believe me to just go off it's i'm okay
i saw it coming in here the old familiar drive trimmer and county i don't know any of these people i'm going to be talking to i have no idea who they are why they're here anything or how long you been here and it's little hard for me to
ran along without knowing that because unlike most types of lectures or sermons or whatever
in the in the school of buddhism that we practice it's very direct so i'm kind of interested to find out so let's see
who's here for the first time today anybody couple air
who who's been been doing this thing for let's say a year or less
ah now it begins to and how about five years or less
okay and he five years or more
all right good mix

well usually and i guess today to i told me there there's something going on in the dining room so we do question and answer here so you might want to start modulating your legs accordingly although when the question start it is perfectly all right with me in fact it's all right now if you want to just put your nisa
i'm not sure you get any great benefit greater benefit from my words by having your legs crossed but that's up to you

so usually the usual form is at least the one i remember is the somebody gives a top and then there are questions well i don't see why that has to be the case why don't we start with a few questions and then i'll get to know you a little bit and that might help me know what what to talk about are or how to
couch my what i say that will better so i remember being in this hall
one suzuki roshi was alive and after the
and my overriding priority was not to be embarrassed that was the most important thing i think i'm being very frank now i certainly would have admitted admitted that to anybody at the time but
so pretty
i occasionally asked questions but they were they were not the questions that were really on my mind they were questions that were safe to say and so i got answers that were more or less in accord with that you know they weren't that
pointed for me
and now i wish there there are many regrets when your teacher dies young and one of them is you know there's so many things i now i wish i could ask him you know what should we do with osama bin laden you know what about israeli palestine you know what about
this or that you know the things that that really weigh on us all that real life questions
but as he's not here to answer i have to go my own way but
i don't know if i know much but i i may know a little bit more than some of you so even if i don't it's a good exercise to ask a question so maybe we could have you know three or four from anybody who wants to raise their hand and isn't afraid of what they might say just to give me a oh
the only reason really is to give me a chance to know you a little bit yeah
right posture so or
okay i didn't tell you i was going to answer them right away but i'm i'm collecting them
that's a very good question i like that i liked that a lot i probably had that question
a lot when i was first starting out so let's well i'm definitely going to address that at some point yes
eight years
that is also a good question
i don't know if i'm going to answer that one at least not not really but because it would take the whole time and more yes it'll change your life after
why these really good questions he said how is being here to change my life you know how is following the path of the buddha made like different from me twenty years
oh i was here i was in zen center for about fifteen sixteen years so it was a long time it's been twenty years since that fifteen years you know but questions that you asked
how do i get enlightened
are you meeting the person that's up here know anything about that do you have some special knowledge that i don't have a what's the point of all this you know
how can i not have pain in my legs you know from the ridiculous to the sublime but i appreciate your assay but those are my questions
they were very much the questions of a
energetic and determined but quite confused young man of twenty years so i i don't know that person anymore so it's hard for me to remember to tell you the truth but i remember the feeling you now have gosh you know i can't possibly alex so stupid you know everybody here must know except me you know
so i have ever having a feeling that fit that feelings you know it's funny the things that last
let's see i'm looking at to at the hair and age i think some of you probably are old enough to remember
winston tastes good like a cigarettes should
bro cream a little dabble delia
the land of sky blue waters it's just incredible how powerful those fifties and sixties tv as are i remember that stuff better than i remember buddhist sutras and things like that which were supposed to be important so it's interesting what sticks i'm sorry yeah maybe one more one more thing
i it that you and jesus
i'm in there
our feelings about the book
ah ok well the book answer is one of those other questions is why haven't i been here for twenty years but
so maybe i could just put the two of you together and and i would have done
answer the question
yeah well it's kind of really putting me on the spot to ask me what i think but i i'm probably think of something to say that won't tell you that
because i know michael downing and he worked very hard for a long time on that book for you know why he did it i don't know about it you know he oh i'll actually address that a little bit he he didn't set out to write an expos they have zen center you know our air our institutions dirty laundry he was very interested as many people are
with the social phenomenon of zen center in the seventies in san francisco area you know jerry brown the governor you know famous people come in mick jagger you know the list goes on and on it was a very stewart brand whole earth catalog erick erickson and there was a a real all star can
that time
and we had a big influence on the situation here at that time in prayer and also in own the whole country and that's just fascinated him he was just amazed that nobody had written about that because it's so interesting it's so interesting because it has a big impact on our culture and on america and still does so that's why
he set out to write the book and then he sat down with his tape recorder and he started to talk to people and they want to talk about something rather different so the book ended up taking a left turn and it's what it is i mean he was very i think
clear that he was going to essentially right and oil history and what was in the book would be what people actually said all eighty that he interviewed including me not what he sought pretty much now you can't be an author not think something so his point of view is in there but you know as much as possible he tried to just present the rash
come on of this person thought this this person thought that without trying to say well here's what it really was you know which is i think a very buddhist approach i like that for a non buddhist to figure that out it's good you know

after i left here and i left for complicated reasons which i won't go into i went my own mind as many people did from that time and i am
entered the business world about which i knew nothing and i returned to my life as a musician about which i knew a great deal could paid nothing and eventually as taste and i wrote a book and i'm writing more books so i'm i'm
but you know if you study the history of xanax very common for that sort of thing to happen in fact it's even scripted into some of the traditions particularly in japan that after you finish your training you are required to disappear absolutely required for maybe fifteen twenty years which is more or less what i did be
because they don't feel that fresh out of the monastery you really know anything real i mean you may know something but go around the world and find out if you really do hit up against the real stuff get held up on the street get sick have the people you love die all of which kind of happen to suzuki roshi
and maybe there's a war two in their live like a beggar live like a rich man
you know let life be your teacher ultimately that's an important but perhaps not well established tradition the and in this country but i did that and i won't
argue the merits for anybody else but had term
it was right for me i don't have any regrets and hearing him can't get rid of me you know
as to your question your hidden behind this woman in the jacket but i like that thank you
put me on the spot is good how is how is
how is all these years of formal and then informal buddhist practice changed my life is that pretty much what you asked me
good enough

basically the feeling that or why i'm right here that
well why are you here
i'm not asking you to put you on the spot i just that would help me answer the question if you tell me
it's part of me
pronounce ah
and monastery i say and not have my haley life
ah yeah
you he does i say
purina i don't think i was so different when i came here
i was very confused but there was some part of me that wasn't confused but i didn't know it
and now i'm not so confused
so that's a change i think
i don't mean to trivialize it but you know this
that's probably the most basically true thing i can say in answer to your question is i'm less confused and that's not a trivial thing to say
most sentient beings are confused and i'm not saying that not confuse i'm just saying i'm less confused
i'd like to address the the the why you're here part of the question by talking to your question about posture i haven't forgotten here

one of the things i learned
and i'll tell you is that buddhism is mostly about a feeling it's about feeling it's not about thinking
and i mean feeling in a very very deep sense that we can't even talk about
i'll try to talk about it a bit later if we have time but
it's in ordinary language
if somebody said to me what is buddhism why are you doing this i'd say
well it's kind of like falling in love you know you can't really describe it but you know that it's happening to you
it's a feeling
if you've never sat this way before
and most people haven't much maybe a little when they were in college or something but if you've never sat this way for extended periods of time
it gets you into the feeling
that we're talking about
but that doesn't mean there's a right way to do it
the only posture that matters is any posture that allows you to sit still
so some people can't sit this way i'm fortunate to age fifty four i can still do it pretty well that's great
there was a famous zen master who had a lame leg could never do this and so he sat in chairs whole life and when he died according to the story with most of which are fiction he broke his leg so he could die this way the deal but
that's kind of a story for novice monks to get ah that's the way i bet he didn't do it i'll bet he just die like a regular person but ah it's a nice story
so it's a feeling you know and it's you're feeling it's not anybody else's feelings so
it's not like well my shoulders have to be stronger and pulling you know it's not like phys ed at all

there's a statue upstairs i guess a new one michael just showed me
of a low-key tissue cornea yeah
who is the bodhisattva of compassion
and getting you know sh
i can't talk about apple wiki tiki bar and say he the way you're supposed to i always say she because actually avalokiteshvara doesn't have gender ability teach bars whatever at to it can be a dog takes any form that will help you know in this case the statue is sitting just like i'm sitting
in the hands are in gosh i just like you i'll do all the time
and is surrounded by all these implements cathy i looked at the most of them are weapons sword spear packs whip
some of them aren't i mean there's a scroll and a leaf kathy notice that was a leaf as scrape at the implements are all they're usually in these old statues that implements false science you can really see the iconography
what's the message of all of that
i didn't i never liked the idea of statues much when i was younger i even objected to getting this one and i serve the one statue i feel foolish about having to because i probably would have moved heaven and earth to get that statue from the drug dealer we bought it from even on smuggle
because that statue is beyond belief but
i'm realizing now that the whole point of buddhist statues and you know the taliban destroy them all because they were graven images you know we don't worship anything total misunderstanding you know but you have to be a buddhist to understand the statue is to help you get the feeling you know the field
and you know buddhism arose in cultures where nobody read maybe the monks and that was a special thing but most people they lived you know and
the statues were a non conceptual nonverbal communication about the feeling you know so what does the statue mean it's gold it had a halo which i guess they took away because it was a little much present center i suppose is that right michael here is our names ornate yeah little our need for us
but i mean the implement sir the ambulance is about i don't know how many were there are about twenty five or what they are all these arms you know any of holding a spear and sword you know different kinds of swords to there was like a machete type store in the long sword you know it's like a dungeons and dragons litany of stuff
so what's that all about you know what first of all why is the statue in the posture that you sit in the your come here to sit in and why is she he it holding all these things you know those are real things that people use or at least
did swords axes
leaves scrolls of scripture
bowls of medicine i mean they're kind of a a collection of basic things that human beings use in their life including to kill each other okay i mean that's included
anybody who thinks buddhism is this sort of reflexively pacifist religions should look at the statue and
really think about whether all these things are metaphors for cutting through wisdom or whether there's something a little bit more you know down-home about these weapons that are there you know but the statue is supposed to convey a feeling
and you know just so happens that the one text that you are recite constantly the heart sutra is about are bulky taste bar that's who that's who the sutures about
kim started out the buddha usually a sutra says that's i have heard at one time the whole you know the great ones stated the grove ajay to grow and said this or that the suture is usually spoken by disciple about the buddha than the buddha talks in the suturing at the end you know he arranges his rogues and leaves and it's it's a very standard think well in this
sutra the boot isn't there at all it's it's
it's avalokiteshvara kwan yin con geez i kind of g cibo south sudan's isn't the first words of the heart sutra conscious ibos on huge still chant japanese here ganges i both sasa yoji and on yeah i've of forgotten it but i know the first part
i noticed they've forgotten the the lecture chanting japanese i know it in english so you start to forget as another way i changed
i remember what's important i remember the feeling so i can answer your question because i've done that feeling for a long long time if if i have nothing else to offer you i have thirty years of that feeling behind me sitting this way in other ways to this isn't the only way to have the feeling that's in everything
there's nothing magic about this posture and if you think that there is i refer you to one of the suzuki roshi his favorite stories it's actually a co on
so your ears perk up you probably all know it and i love it i use it as my teaching story and at my shoes so ceremony a long time ago
it's about i don't remember that chinese for yeah kojo
by john by jong-un mods who i prefer to use the chinese thank you
you all know this story you know by johnny's doing zazen he's in the posture but you're talking about same posture exactly that you try to do so your bhaijaan in this story okay we're all badger
we're also mods and to because
ah another aspect
of the posture
is my gosh this is the posture than a buddha takes isn't that unusual it's not like you get to be a buddha first and then you have permission to sit like a buddha you start out sitting like a buddha from day one so
by jiang is sitting like a buddha
and mozzie in the way the stories worked out of course it didn't happen this way but it's couch this way so they can teach us something what are you doing
now when we're practicing the way a question like what are you doing
is not so obvious
it's like the old psychiatrist job with the to psychiatrists pass on the street and
one of them says hello and everyone says hello and then the way the cartoon goes as they pass one of the scratches and say now what did they mean by that
what are you doing is like a big question that's like the reason that we come to this you know what am i doing what am i doing here i'm born i'm here i don't know i'm lost
you know it's like being dropped into an outward bound program with no equipment you know you wake up i'm in the world you know that's what it means what are you doing you know what are you doing
so what is by junk save you any of you know this story he says i'm doing thousand and i'm sitting in the posture

so i i said before it's a feeling you know you can it's like falling in love if somebody says well what's it like man you know tell me about it i'd like to know i haven't had that experience and he say well gosh she's so beautiful you know
but that's not it isn't i mean pilot women are beautiful i love women are all beautiful you now i'm speaking from a guy who likes when and sell you know forgive me if i'm offending anybody but i'm trying to make a point here
he said well what's it really like to be in love well i know i i hard for me to say i just can't you know i can't get my hands around that it's just it's great it's great you know i feel so wonderful and just on cloud nine i don't care about anything you know and i mean she's so beautiful you know
and the guy says and you're out of it you know when you come down to earth talk to me because i'm kind of like to know what's going on but i i can't make any sense of what you're saying you know this is we're starting to get into the feeling a little bit and this is why you know how did send the zen school that chon schools start
well it started in china many centuries after buddhism had come to chime many centuries and they were great vast monasteries with beautiful statues just like this place and very well established and you know there were monks who spent their lives there there were generations of monks
and the best of the monks the brightest to the monks the ones who really had a deep sense of seeking outside the box you know outside the box we say now
said you know i'm not sure this is it i don't recall that it says the buddha live this way in fact he didn't chance sutras the sutures or about him so he didn't do it you know
obvious point
and although we really recall that the buddha did was he sat under a tree we know that he did that so why don't we do that she would happen so i'm kind of making it like a child's deal but that's kind of what happen some of the monks siphons themselves off and the big monasteries and they went either into a room that wasn't being used and i'm honest
eric eventually they had their own little places out in the country and they did what all of you are dealing with all of us are doing they sat down like the buddha did and they started to get into the feeling
that he didn't feel that in the big monastery they they they knew all the sutras they could recite them by heart they could recite them in three languages navy they had a complete understanding of the abi dharma the seventy five unchangeable conditioned and unconditioned the wholesome garments the unwholesome dharmas
et cetera et cetera you know
but something was missing something wasn't quite right the feeling wasn't there and all they really knew was hey the buddha did this and he sat this way and he sat for a long time so why don't we do that let's be an experiment here and see
and that's how i got started
if you think that had happened
in seventh century china look around
it's happening right here in this room in this place in america we're here we're americans
it's happening again same idea you know
people have some sense in their heart some deep feeling that is not been satisfied by their life or their world they don't know what to do and
somehow you end up on a cushion
this is decision this is
boy really digressed i was trying to talk about the story well
so what it mods is say he
he could have set a lot of things he could have said
i don't think so
you know or you could have said good great trying to become a buddha yeah right on you know he could have said
well okay but they all look so good to me
i'm i'm just trying to think of the possible responses that he might they were that are in the realm of the head of thinking you know what's this guy doing but he doesn't do any of those things
these stories are about people that know each other very very well that's why i talk about falling in love and mean
the standard idea we have because it's not in our culture is that a spiritual teacher is somebody that teaches you something
not exactly wrong but sort of wrong because
there's only one person that can really teach you anything that matters and that is you
the teacher is something like a midwife or
a friend
a friend of very very good friend who
you know you know with a good friend if you get into trouble if things go bad if life isn't so great you like want to end it all you don't know what to do but you have your friend you know and so you can you can get by you you know we all need a friend at some point in our lives
hey there is some point in our wise where we cry out
we cry out
and i'll come back to this crying out in a minute because it's connected to have a low-key teach bar but
to be able to have a friend when you cry out is so important we can't really live as human beings without that without
first of all both things are necessary you have to be able as a human being to cry out at a certain point
and they're also has to be somebody who can respond
so here's a story excuse me
thank you how nice here's a story about a kind of crying out what are you doing
i'm i'm trying to become a buddha

their friends they're very good friends mods who is his best friend and a whole world do anything for bhaijaan he'll die for by chinese by jang will die for him that's how deep it goes you know they're like blood brothers you know blood brothers it's that strong and so what are you doing it's like
the whole world is on the is on the on the line with that kinect question
and by jiang says well he can't fuss around he can't pretend it's mozzie there it's his best friend you can't tell a fib he can modulate he's just gotta say what he really thinks and he says
i'm trying to become a buddha
and i think you all know months it doesn't say anything he picks up with
roof tile you know ceramic tile or you know the kind they put on a chinese roof and he starts to rub it
in again their friends so it's not like by jong is willing to just let that go he knows that maza wasn't doing that just to pass the time of day or because he's bored he likes to rub tiles or something he's rubbing the tile for bhaijaan it's like a gift
and so bhaijaan can't do anything else but say what are you doing
you know what are you doing
and mozzie says i'm trying to make a mirror
this is this is a this is a story between friends in fact the fact that we even know about it is kind of extra the real stuff that happens between friends or people who are married or people that are very close is you know i have conversations with my wife of thirty five years that none of you could ever understand
because you haven't been married for thirty five years you know i'm sorry
if you have maybe you would but she just knows me and i know her and it's like there's a feeling there we can't talk about and i can't even explain to you how it is if any if you've been married a long time maybe you understand but for if you've had a friend for a long time you know
so there's this tremendous sense of you know there's nothing i held back between these two people and they're just talking about something so basic that we can't even really anything that mods you could say would not really get to it now he has to do something more physical like this is fish
michael you know when you do something physical you get a feeling you know get a feeling and ah that's the beginning

it's very interesting there are so many tools in the arms of ah bulky tisch bar
i think this is very important that there are so many tools
so let's look at but the sutra says
have a look he tastes far a booty sought for when practicing deeply the project current meta how perceived in her own being i'm sorry perceived that all five of the
all dharmas in their own being are empty and was saved from all suffering and distress this is the approximately
what it says what it really says is in sanskrit and it's the words are a lot more complex but in english that's approximately what it says
literally the word avalokiteshvara shara just means lord or high being ki tisa means
he or she who looks down who wouldn't coot says
or maybe that one often the one who hears meaning over time buddhism has decided that ability for a specialty is hearing
and even it goes further and some of the commentators and they say here of the cries of the world of a look tissue bar here of the cries of the world
now i said the the verses the way we usually chance and model that you taste for our borisov so when practicing deeply the crashed by remember what does all that stuff me i mean let's be honest what does it really mean you can go to a class oh yeah you know approach to apart media and blah blah the hard suture that's called the heart sutra because
it's the piss or the rendering down of a vast body of teaching called the project par major and which means something like transcendental wisdom and the heart sutra means the heart of that the essential point of it
that's what the scholars say
but i don't say that i used to say that i used to teach classes like that but today i say it's this heart the heart sutra it's the suture that comes out of your heart now not of your mind you know and
let's let's dwell little bit on hearing the cries of the world
who's various ways to to
confront his sutra one is to think of it as a sutra written around one hundred a d h one hundred bc to one hundred a d etc etc
the other way
in the way that the zen school looks at it more and why we chanted all the time is this sutra is about you it's about me about wiki tiki bar is me when you sit in the posture of the buddha in the zendo you are i will look he tisch far you are the here of the
cries of the world and if you are
can you need to open your ears because you can't even get the sutra going until you
take on the mantle of ah bulky tastes far the hear of the cries of the world
and it doesn't mean here of the cries of the world it means here of the cries of the world
it's a little easier now with tv we can really hear the cries in the world you know they come on tv and we see people with her legs blown off we see kids who are starving and me
and you have to include your own cry and that to you to really get into here of the cries of the world you have to include what is in your own heart which is a cry in the world the cry in your own heart is no different than the crime everybody's heart that's why
you can hear it because the cry
the cries of the world are the song of life that's and were life were alive so we don't need to have a telephone to hear the cries of the world you start with the cry that's in your own heart and then you understand this is no different no different than anybody else's cry
so avalokiteshvara becomes you at the point that we are becomes us at the point at which we
get in touch with a feeling of crying out
ah in the world and maybe that's what brings you here i don't know it's kind of what brought me here although if you'd asked me thirty years ago i'd never have been able to say it
to let you know

we go on a little bit
generally speaking the usual attitude when we open up even a little bit to hear the cries of the world or our own cry as we just flat out can't stand it
how can anybody i mean let's be really liberal here
taste for is the here of the cries in the plural of the world let's just take human beings right away there's six billion plus cries okay
imagine that we have a a nice computer maybe a cray supercomputer that can process all the cries as on a computer you know i run a software company and on other things so this is my lingo sorry if it goes over some people's heads but let's suppose that we have a
a sample a sound sample one second you know of each person's cry and we loaded all in to this cray supercomputer somewhere in
kansas okay anybody for kansas here
anybody from the midwest
iowa were all coast people here i guess where were the reds not that where the blues not the ribs that's what they're saying on the map anyway
so we sit down in kansas we put on the earphones where have a low-key taste bar and now and we quench the button to boot up the first hundred cries ah help me you know mama you know i'm dying i'm starving you know how many of those can we say
stand before we just have to turn the bloody thing often go away because how can you hear those cries how can you even hear your own cry i mean a lot of us americans have a pretty hard time hearing our own cry much less anybody else is so it's hard but here's where the sutra starts to stick it to you
okay we're willing to be a low-key teach far we've tried the kray computer but we turn it off after fifty and we have to go put our head under the pillow for a few days because it just was too much
and but i'm he takes bara it doesn't have that reaction she is coursing this is the literal sharia is is coursing like a comment courses coursing in the deep pricing empire media on your harm me to makkah hanya harm me to shingo means great
heart transcendental wisdom sutra
the word coursing goes through several languages yo con geez i both sancho go kill
i used to know all this stuff and
gil ends up in japanese as shoujo guess what the word is that from suzuki roshi on down we pract we we translate in this place the word sugar sugar is the english word that you are familiar with called practice hugo is practice ogio coursing
i'm a piano so
the word practice was always a little bit off for me because we can ask musicians practice in a somewhat different way than we're talking about this is not go kill is not doing your scales go is the posture goes the feeling and
when she is doing this
she has an insight a transcendental insight that
all five scanned is all condition dharmas in their own being are empty
ghastly word
doesn't work i don't like it
but it's okay it's what shenyang tom means more or less during that time is a sanskrit word that's always translated as emptiness
but let's be very precise sometimes in in buddhism it's important to be very precise junior todd comes from the sanskrit word that means a gourd or a you know a dried squash something like that so it looks very big you know it's this big thing you know how gourds either sometimes is very big to rattle
stuff but you opened it up what's inside nothing so
it's it's more than just empty it's it looks like something but when you look more deeply it's not quite there in the way that you thought so
with that insight and avalokiteshvara
doesn't suffer

and it says in the english saved from all suffering and distress i've chatted that for years and
you can go by pretty fast but
it's suffering again we're just talking about human beings here not the whole biosphere it suffering to the six billions power that's the that's the suffering we're talking about it's not just suffering you know it's it's six billion versions of crying out and somehow with this
this thing this project part me to whatever it is and the chinese and japanese never translated it in sanskrit its prime ya paar me to or puts on the headphones in kansas is that where we decided this machine was in kansas okay she's able to
process the whole six billion
so generally when we think of being saved from suffering we think of something like morphine
morphine is an anodyne it saves you from pain
i can speak from personal experience
it's morphine is a pretty good drug when you're in pain believe me
but this is a different kind of saved from suffering it's somehow see one way to be saved from suffering is for somebody to say i ain't ever going back to kansas
i'm not going to listen to that thing you can erase it as far as i'm concerned because i don't want to suffer i only want to hear my own cry much less anybody else's so forget it
but this is different this is like the headphones stay on time is no consequence were outside of time and all six billion cries get through and there is a stability that allows that to be absorbed to be heard to be heard
heard and
it's in mind beginner's mind it's one of the my favorite passengers and you think it's theoretical it's not suzuki roshi says in there and i'm paraphrasing suppose your child is dying your only child is dying
a cried from the world from somebody that you love more than anything and what can you do you pace you cry out you call your friends you do whatever and i'm elaborating on what he said
but the best thing to do is to sit
doesn't mean you're suffering goes away it doesn't mean anybody suffering goes away the child's still going to die but somehow we've entered a realm in this posture which allows us to have a different kind of feeling about the world feelings of course we have a very deep feeling about
our child wearing grief we crying were hysterical we want to kill ourselves but we can because our child's depending on us it's just ties or got up in knots it's awful and it doesn't get any less awful
if we cross her legs and sit down with our back straight
he says if you don't have this experience you're not as ends do
now like a lot of things azuki rose she said that kind of went by me pretty fast for a long time and i'm only beginning to get the for residents of that
i realize now it in some ways during most of my years at formal training i wasn't much of a reels and student in the way he's talking about
i wanted to change my life i'm going back to what you asked me i really wanted to change my life i'm wanted my life to be different i wanted to be a wise person i wanted to be a zen master i wanted to be a roomy or buddha or somebody really special i was a very ambitious person some ways i still probably
i am
the technical my technical term for all of that in his n context is bullshit it really is some kind of transcendental bullshit and it's not until we start to recite the sutra with a real sense that it is me that i am talk
word grammar there's the heart sutra has how many verses does it have as opposed to one hundred thousand it's like twenty five right
it's it's the produit par media in two thousand and four vs well the big sutra

okay go to the kitchen

when you pick up the knife remember it's one of our bulky tastes far as implements

i know i'm over
put your legs zapper whatever i don't care kalpa lineup and they will make you feel better because now
i'll stop pretty soon
when i was in the second grade my lowest grade was talks out of turn in class and it hasn't gotten any better i
anybody who knows me knows that well i'll try to wind up and then we can have some questions
i realized that i have left the by junk story unfinished so let's finish that
i didn't forget
i'm pretty good at remembering the things that i said five minutes ago most of the time
be there's more to the story but that's really the main part of the story
he says things like out of compassion for he's very good friend bhaijaan mazu who is probably the greatest as in teacher ever ah arguably said well
when when a horse cart doesn't go to you what the horse to do with the car
another way to put your arms around the same story which is what dogan whose birthday it is today
set in one of his fascicles is it's kind of like a fish looking for where the water is
you know by john i want to become a buddha
and it's not enough to say well gosh by john you're already a boot isn't that neat
he doesn't feel that way and if he thinks that he is you know that's not right either so what does he do
the way to work with these stories just as we work with the heart sutra is you bring it in to yourself and you enact it in your own experience in your own body so we become by john we become avalokiteshvara we take the whole thing very seriously but at the same time we don't
get weighed down by it if you walk around with the way of a six billion cries on your shoulders you'll collapse you know so that isn't the right way to hear it either but somehow abelow wiki tiki bar is able to work with the whole situation and you look at all these tools have all these arms and you realize this is a being that
isn't just listening to the cries and saying oh how terrible their cries she has all these tools so she's out there
she's in the situation she's in the world and can do to finish up just the last thing is i was like you i wanted to be a monk i wanted to be i wanted to replicate the the authentic experience that i read about of this great wisdom tradition called buddhism called zinn
and that's necessary anybody who thinks you can thoroughly understand the standpoint of avalon qth bar or mods you or a bhaijaan without doing that
it's not so easy
but at the same time to monastery isn't the end of it you know the monastery is a place where you can kind of train your year
but eventually you have to go to some place where people are crying out and that's the tools that's the work as the work of oblak taste bar there's a tool set their implements and you're in the middle of it to put it another way it's the tenth oxford and picture
you know the guy in the butcher shop drinking wine
if you have to eventually
be there and in fact it's not a matter of time one of the messages of the by jiang story is it's not a conveyor belt that starts with guess student and ends with you know enlightened master it doesn't work that way at all you're not doing zazen to sort of log your pushing time because after a certain number of hours of cushion time something
happens if anything time goes backwards you start from buddha and work back to where you are you know so there's no sense of time in this interchange
by john may think so but that's just his thinking it isn't that feeling feelings don't exactly live in time they live in a different kind of space and i guess i'll close by saying that it had anything to say try to take a ways that buddha dharma is
the best way to say it if you're going to say it at all is it's some kind of a feeling that you can't talk about but it's so basic that it's like water for a fish
and you can't live fish can live outside of water so
maybe i've answered the questions you ask me i don't know usually i guess everybody gets up and stretch their legs and goes into the dining room
i tell you what one and i do the formal stuff that i do
my friend is heard enough and than those of you who want to stay and don't feel your an insulting me by leaving it's perfectly fine to leave will gather in here which is the only room available and you can sit with your nice up and i will too and then we'll talk by trends