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SF-01810
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hello
i didn't count so much about now over i practice
which now that birthday for three years
when i first went there a tragic stretch
i have pretty
why life this creek
you
yeah sorry for ventured back the way i had the world for all my life had circulated turned out to be
erroneous and sounds pretty good design
and
the present go however church is a sanctuary
and i just kind of threw myself any to criticize it
and volunteered as cheeky day everyday
so i would
re home at four thirty in the morning go down to earth her crescendo shit sorry say stay for service breakfast cream rosendo and the work come back so he said that and actually can get a dictator my right direction
big you through the house they are friendly
if you created
at that time really that a blacklisted
he is a witness before the katie
so he was mostly a kid
working
so he recovered conjunction with the the morning and they go home to get breakfast fifty fifth street
ah
so my daughter and fifteen year old daughter and i came down to come so far as it gets to you
about a much faster i first went to death and destruction it quickly
and show him love the customer
came back down they begin for that conveys and i asked my daughter she's going to come with me if it comes my daughter and she said no issue with any group as as instruction to issues going to come independently as we get speak for itself is she gave is truth is
it's true
ah so truly started to sit radio as well and he
practice three regularly for two years
but it turns out she was mostly doing the crash and was good the ever became really perfect
you could come to said
at the beginning anyhow it was quite wonderful in
and she made a connection with oh sorry she was a trance teaspoon to get a variety
have she made many fruits here
i
but eventually it turns out here

have you maybe have contraband already that i immediately should have a to become to thank the three of the the fish that that
so as for three years then i practice regularly at berkeley gets a shame in the city
and
develop a relationship with now
but when i came down here
it were extremely
started out for the purchase of the jewish guy and i came down the fall of seventy two
ah and was she says practice period here
i'm ready she said

and i get to practice periods and it was a theory
important experience for me
haven't i didn't really want to go back to berkeley moved back into the house and go back to work isn't chemistry the health department
i really want to continue for the soul when paper she said that
he said senator had rented the house had changed really needed somebody to live there
ah
i would learn i like to live their gets into school in from around then carmel
it has a very good high school
michelle okay
i'm saying he did that new one appear in april says he
three and i like better the third and prepared had since we were the school year i came down alternative in the summer and we lived there for year
and ran the the stand on weekends and took turns coming in here from monday to friday
i certainly in decisions when he said the recession to practise cruising out there
mitzi however found two things are bad not to her liking one month
fifty six miles a day on the school bus and they wanted to road and the other was sort of them all upper middle class white high school after having gone to school in berkeley
she wanted to go back to improve and high school girl the siblings said
when so
still i didn't want to move back to islam
my professional life so we arranged she was feeling in one left home near the kids at all left come before we came down here
ah so we arranged for the to snooze and this traffic eight them
have you looked green gulch were presumably she's going to spend weekends with us consumer to get
i have is pretty things the to
well
ah
so we we got integrated into the life of green gulch and there
set help it was pretty early in the not looking up at that time schedules work leader in one thing one another
a certain point i kind of came apart
finally my
the near of professional competence desirable
i was kind of wander
confused with specific
and baker oh she asked me what happened to the contract professional is
like it's gone a front
it was such a view
there's such a way not to have to pretend to be confident
i just needed a strike now
when it started admitting that i was not
this company of i thought
and read said to me one point read was contrary
he said something like
when i was getting kind of frantic about has worked with you there you know work is endless on a farm you can never keep up with it and there's nowhere near the number of people they had there
and he said well when you get to the point in the you cannot accomplish it through your own conflicts
this was true to each person good
who knows me very well great
square foot peg ratio been the issue so
quite exciting can hear you had she says the person
and
if i weren't to various accessories and said going be sold for one you what kind of device could be give me you know like and how can i be a good she saw right
i do it right be good whatever
are various once told me various things and ram said
does go down there don't do any
and i said
i have to to compose them the bathrooms and is like to some of course that since your job but just don't do anything
your interest in her
and he's teaching me has always been from the point of view kind of knowing my pregnancies
hello
recommended to be coming to go from like

richmond a very important
indulge redwood city to be how thirty which can go
he was a day
fixed
oh another time
i was kind of
flaunting without a green gosh in the early years
ah
i was following the schedule all together and stuff when i was in my personal life things we've had a computer school
and so one
friday night which was are nine off
i didn't come back to pin down to spend a nice day with the friend
i told some you know i raised with someone to do my dawn johnson
i didn't even know it for the thinking
and read county in and he said
when it's the company is looking for you
and could find the city and nobody knew where you're at
and i mean nobody knows where you're at it
if you're gonna stay here either straighten things out while i was as
what the hell's does he leave if i want to stay here you know i've been here i don't know how many years i didn't it censored by that time but
you know how did he think he was to say if you want to stay here i was just i less than a rage for about two weeks
and gonna
maybe i will be enough back
ha
let me know
that given said
you're right
pretty confused
i appreciate your point much shorter his big sigh of relief and i can see
reprint the quick i could see if he could tell family
hmm get
and even know which way have any chance
and that was a and he cared
and that was very instructive
what have you vincent
if we have pretenses
and you know decoration to i would simply when he told him
you can try to get me to see
stay tuned
a cracked skull this is kind of this this year it's kind of instructed you when he was trying to get me to see how
congressman was what other people try
the tried train station pumps me don't work on of you just don't look again
okay yesterday
and finally said new mexico
what you can look at a beer at a street here collars so i gathered the great colleagues were nice the for that
the access
the suburb and various he said to me once when i walked influence on me
i can tell by the way you walk in the door if you're trying to impress me
the
but then he said
i want you to take of the practice of doing nothing for the eyes into the folder
a kisser thank you i would have to
whenever there
this month and nothing says
five minutes i will
nothing i didn't make a move
with out seeing as how is it book
from the else
and i couldn't have move
about how the convicts
not
and i
i'm very quickly live there was nothing i could do the six it could she fix it would be again to try to look good for you
anything i did we have to do with
the either behold
what my room
what is extremely powerful experience so i went back with my coding
what makes me always work good
so again i learned that skill for me comes in try and fail you trying and failing and trying to oh that work
scott reads does the conference on
it just comes from
yeah it's gets empirical
the pray for me practicing dentist can collect them in every treatment is a question
have you know there's a symbol said can be the medical insurance on always read but still learning to be a practitioner
one slow process his ongoing
the
good
huh
he says is no need for is
casey was no from two different
when someone is ill the kid
the diagnosis quite there at the scandalous the best treatment for work
they to do something because they're suffering
the at times like that they try to take comfort and the hippocratic maxim that the physician treat and tribute
and something that i don't stop doing harm
he'll pick them lot for a minute
i first after the or again
yeah
and and at first richard baker said yes i asked them i guess what about making seventy four and i was going to be attained with the retain the making seventy five
but then he said no i should wait
and
he was i was asking to be ordained and he was asking lou to a
and i had said well for both an ordain be silly forced to do the different kinds of be silly for a husband likely be savored the other
so then lula said he was going to be ordained and he told you to wait and i was really annoying and i said that was mind you that wasn't your idea you know that which they are they together
but what i realized and that was extremely difficult for me because i was helping everybody so get moving
i was working very hard on his reputation and he was giving lectures about you know what a wonderful thing like nation was the all and i was sitting there for the library window so i'm furiously and an average has become overcome by ways isn't feeling excluded
but rush out over to the sauna and fry it all as then i to wash my face with cold water and medical back and that social or it was just absurd but has been extremely painful plank like and
and it helped me to realize how much
at that time
i saw a and something can get
his son
status or accomplishment for
approval
we have something getting the kids
when in fact one time will show some ceremony
i asked a question i don't really never let the question was because he answered it must seem to be a non-sectarian pretty standard answer one
you want me to give you something
have anything
i am
get the truth
so i'm kind of struggled with that for a while and argued with me because actually all wonderful with your date that he probably going to of the with you we had this double on within where you he anything wrong
mr different countries practice and wait for pointing fact of the lakers within the be to to lose a distant difference the priest practice of minecraft is why do you practice is a priest
well two years later
grab was panto call the in and said well she would like you to measure these people from cases and i lifted the list and i burst into tears you should like to my friendship
my name's not the movie right
still water
some people are a date when there's still interested in it
anyhow it turned down for anything
he asked me to as glue talk
hey look like top to dead
it's a wedding
configuration worse for to be repaid was me to case cases
i said what you see person
yes
the perfect for this was actually had made a long are you instead
so anyhow that was the you did this this is the group had turned out to be the mom who consorted makes the twenty four people in two days a week
seventy seven
seventy percent
ha
what are they story about the as
whenever she so
things were going pretty well
when i was given credit to the job issue so
and so
the day or two before the ceremony yeah i was feeling fairly confident
ha
i think he thought it was probably over country
not
when you think you that
hey said
very serious don't let anything distract you from this year
it's over
get get serious about it and then my benches it thing
well you're in the shoot now
and so i forget to take it more if the hype
and that was extremely helpful
i was very
hook
but very
oh
when the other thing he said to me for this one doesn't
think about any of your to come
come out with the first thing to do
a book
he's like a way for you so so gene silencing any mondo for took on

so
have you
see mt baker oh roshi know
when began
teaching over of seniors
about
studying the dharma transmission material found the festivals that totally said he wrote about it
and so

some writings about
ceremony the documents to the meaningful production
in areas as
and
so he started with
most of the senior people because he felt this
added that was one of his jobs if one of the problems that censored defender
yeah
david

so we studied for several years and one by one the number of people decided it is gonna get the deal
but by the
there came a kind with seemed that
he expected it does who feel safe with him or actually
the transmission
and
began to realize it
i've really had a greater affinity for now here is my first teacher
style is
like you
i can find more with his teachings staff
i've always admired
rams
air condition
as well as his emotions
but in addition is not want this month
and so i always felt somehow it it's a way in which didn't make sense to be be his disciple and forget them
see how you could ever
really neat away with
i understood concern disliking him to be
ah
but
chris
my grievers in there to reference
offering to trade in this way educated decision
and
when i got me that it was me
nothing
so for more than a year
i stood with this school
hello i'm excited
i was not actually read disciple in a way i can
asquith incoming transmission
and so i had to come in
having me
new cartridges
hi computer
trip once once i get in once i made that decision
click
hemlock
are you know like say that
the spirit
currently we studied some things to get
goodson dot
innumerable bow
with
he's very experienced with
first time i saw mill
after the ceremony was over and can i think that with electric we did the ceremony and i will effect induction
i saw sean
and
why aren't you hike it was my one last ten years
i'm still with something very thin
a personal

can i know like
i can't wait to anything
for any moment that it took place at any moment
while after dharma transmission i got kind of fun
again and
no
how am i supposed to supposed to stay here in teach was too
recent leave
yeah
supposed to continue already a chump posted
one hundred
that so i don't know i gotta know
exactly
anyhow i went
i took about six week vacation and went to visit a lot of other teachers to just to see how how they split up there from how and you know i'm so parochialism the feel really gets
so what
been visited marine stewart in cambridge
dell
from the valleys and own
in western massachusetts
i visit chemical my or have remained
i spent up to ensure good and so a session with five people that they were ordained right off started from scratch so there are cases and they weren't they one thing lol was great and really wonder eligible that deadly
i'm rather such used to via the next next day was as his mouth seat ceremony is all very exciting only one
and i visited the
i could chino in mysql
hmm
and then i did associated with program at she you
and so i'm
worrying about this problem with know nothing on transit one i supposed to do i supposed to speed huge matters throughout started is under my own somewhere on your workplace with
foster i'm like natural of one hundred finally he said
the government was greatly prosper do what you gonna do the current
yeah
which which i took to mean
thank you for the dharma doesn't depend on you the term is fine
what are you do someone else says like it means if you do what you want to do the general great and prospect that's where i go get better
so anyhow
how was the schools great gift to me
coven is wonderful when i was very counts
he had issues so envious this issue so ceremony
and
i said all this amount of that traditional form that you've got to understand the covert has been
sen sanders advised her of traditional forms tokenism thoroughly trained soto zen monk trained to train box
ha
and he has the there's of beautiful when she asked house and similar he has been there advisors for how to do all the ceremony over the years
sokoban and to the walk
some of us know the traditional forms very well which i thought was
know passaic for covert to say to me some of us know forms that was set of like
pictures but many women say
but you know we have to let people here time filling forms
and if he's just you know although he teaches us the exact profit sometimes shoo away with use the forms and his temple or in this time
he improvises
and if you know the traditional forms we see on the elements
but it's completely improvisation
it's quite here
come to replace string quartets and concerning place jazz
the anything i've learned a lot from him and he has he has taken some kids new
get me not to be stuck
if the example he asked me to help his disciple
and was made so the case of which we get a nice i said look current was only
yesterday said got some nice earthy so she picked it
brown which to get be exact color of their hair she's in the
the open on so i'm thinking this is
he's been cited for twenty five years
this is indicating that people the dharma transmission well so we were going to present this growth to her episode of the traditional rope as patients in again
on our way the zendo you know from the meteor encounters and though is and what you know entry sign is a household
don't change he says that for for classes for kinds of people can wear this role
the seeker this can be sure to actually and then we walk on the and then we get to this road because brown road
and i figure that he's just trying to get me to loosen up and not be
richard my ideas
the best thing
that's the realm of teaching that he does
plus the fact that
he's one of the most compassionate people
he'll he's taught me came
one one of the old school and said it
who was living in hawaii
trout she's actually a connoisseur
i'm good
a die
he was intervention
he became give her children greenbelt
and he taught me quite carefully
hundreds
this will
if someone instead about kobe
he may not show a procession and he may have in his piece
he is a real cloud watermark is completely unreliable for listening to anybody guys you can get
the resemblance guy
no
the only time
i started i didn't carry the to that i met him but the only time of a member of seen him for the first time
did he was he the mountains and they didn't he was he reminded my nazi ceremony and he has a new baby girl
when i was staying with him at a cause i was helping a paper which going to show a case
he came up from
saturday and stayed here in thousand work on this case and so uncommon me sewing he had been very influenced that's why people are actually and he had known chosen citation side of cancer at are trying to for being comatose
three sessions that select for she there
he have that he was a school
comes out university and went to central graduate schools for the for practice that kinds of it
ah and he screwed up to deal with the populace and congress code out you know
confusing coaches and teachers and cows and he teaches in austria
it's all round movies
ha
but
you know there is garrison echoes in which there is a lie that says at the completion of all current regulations
and he wanted me to work with this week
so it
i think completing government relations with chosen snow and college and selected for version that he had been word with all of his to the that five feet seven inches now with him and his teaching people in so but
i think for his is really really had to do with the completion of this relationship with someone had been changes