this podcast is offered by the san francisco zen center on the web at www.sfcc.org our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you good morning Chanting in Zen practice, and I think in many spiritual traditions, it's an initiation. In Sanskrit, I've been told, since I don't know that much about Sanskrit, there's four basic signs, and each one of those signs resonates in a different part of the body. The heritage of our chanting is similar to Sanskrit chanting, which is that the different signs resonate in different parts of the body.

[01:11]

So when we do a chant before we start something, it's an alignment. It's alignment of body and breath, mental disposition, clarity, attention, all those good things. So that whatever we engage in is in the service of awakening and expressing awakening. You know, you can watch carefully and how it is, and of course it helps if you have some familiar you know we chant in Japanese so that if you don't know that the chant and you're stumbling through it and you're paying more more of your energy and attention is going to try to figure out what the heck's going on in contrast to just letting the vibration flow in your body and letting something that has

[02:21]

being learned by your body, being reenacted. And then it's occurred to me, Jordan, the tanto, and I have this ongoing discussion about whether we should just drop the Japanese chanting. And he drops it at every opportunity he can. And I bring it back. To me, chanting in a language... that you don't understand, inclines your mind back to the sound, the resonance of the sound, your body, breath, activity. So if you can consider that, like each time we start, something of an initiation. The way we hold the body, the way we shape the breath influences how we're holding the more complex aspects of our being.

[03:40]

Our personality, our psychology, our constructs of what is and what isn't. Sin practice is about realization, realizing the nature of what is. And one important feature of realization is that the content might not necessarily, the content of your thoughts, the content of your understanding might not necessarily change all that much. the realization related to it is what ripens and what deepens. You're about seven or eight. You get the understanding that you're going to die.

[04:50]

But... Usually, unless you're exceptional, there's a way in which you just live as if that's not self. The attitudes, the feelings, the determinations of your being. But as you continue to practice that process of realizing the implications of impermanence... The factual content doesn't change that much, but the realization ripens. And just to make it a little bit more interesting, that realization, as Dogen's energy says, is not simply held within our thought process.

[05:57]

It's not simply concepts that arise and are held in our mind. In some ways, it's something that becomes part of our body, our breath, our disposition. And the process of Zazen is tuning in to the realization that has occurred in our being. Tuning in as in revealing, illuminating, stimulating that realization, and living it, being it,

[07:00]

And so in sitting Sazen, the emphasis is on the tuning in and relating to what arises as the expression of that realization. That all things are impermanent. That life is an interactive event. that each particular comes into being through its relationship to others. The example I keep using is mother and child. They coexist. Take one away, the other disappears. And then, you know, come to Anapanasakti.

[08:18]

So that's the basic proposition of Zazen. That's the basic proposition of practice. In sitting, it's a singular activity. And then in action, it's letting it express itself in how what arises is engaged, and related to. And it's a feedback loop. How it's engaged and related to stimulates the realization. So Dogen Senji says, these are intertwined processes. The realization stimulates the engagement. The engagement stimulates the realization.

[09:29]

Okay, you with me so far? Any comments or questions? No? Do you want to ask me a question? You sure? Yeah, well... So normally, the action, the way we engage the moment, the way we engage in activity, is framed, thought of, stimulated by some notion we have of existence, ourselves, the world. What's a good outcome? What's a bad outcome? Our effort, our engagement is defined by that. Okay, this is a good thing to have happen in terms of my life or our collective life, whatever I'm thinking of, and I am going to make it happen as best I can.

[10:44]

And if it turns out well, I'll have made a good thing happen. And if it turns out badly, I will have failed to make a good thing happen. It's an enactment of my relationship to existence. The agendas I have for that. The expectations I have for that. Whereas in seated doesn't, the engagement is to just experience it. To be present to experiencing, to be open to experiencing, and accepting what arises. And then carrying that

[11:47]

into action. Like maybe use the example of sweeping the sidewalk. So there's sweeping the sidewalk and there's an intentional consequence. But the intentional consequence is removing leaves from the sidewalk. But from the saddled mind, we know that it's a construct to think that leaves removed from the sidewalk is a better state of being than leaves on the sidewalk. It's just something we made up. Theoretically, we could just as easily make up a construct that says it would be better if there were more leaves on the sidewalk.

[12:54]

Collect them from the road and put them on the sidewalk. So we hold our relative construct, hopefully expressing something of our vow to practice. as a relative construct. We engage the moment in the very process of engaging in that way with that kind of non-attachment, with that kind of wholehearted engagement, making our best effort in the moment, bringing attention, engagement, and expression of what brings forth the well-being of all beings.

[13:55]

Even though we know that very notion that what we are saying is the well-being of all beings is a construct. Did that help at all? The best effort is also relative to who you are at the moment.

[14:59]

Yes. So we bring so-called best effort to the moment and engaging the moment with awareness, with wholeheartedness teaches, actualizes. As I was saying earlier, teaches within constructs and beyond constructs we learned something about the nature of what is that's not simply a cognitive learning and then how do we be such a one no how do we be such a person given

[16:10]

as we all know only too well, that even in something as simple as sweeping the sidewalk, all sorts of stuff can happen. Our practice is when the gong happens, you just stop. It doesn't matter if you only have a little bit more to go, and then you'll have the whole sidewalk done. You'll be right the whole way down to Laguna Street. Whatever. Any other tempting notions of success. But if I do this, something will have been accomplished. Something desirable or whatever. In whatever content. Your own notion of achievement. your sense of collective good for the world.

[17:14]

If this sidewalk is swept, it will be a better world. People will be less likely to slip on leaves and be safer. The sidewalk will look more beautiful and people will be more inclined to be aware because of that beauty. But when the gong goes, just drop it all. All those beautiful concepts. All that inner notion of success or accomplishment. And just take your tools and put them away and go do the next thing. And in stopping... Practice realization of the nature of what is.

[18:16]

In wholehearted engagement, in stopping wholehearted engagement. But how to be such a one? Sometimes we notice, well, it's just hard not to be all caught up. in a whole bunch of stuff. The things that worry me, that are pressing on my mind saying, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me. Or just on some unsteadiness of mind. Instead of simply attending to this task, the mind wanders over here. Look, that bush needs trimmed. I should tell the work leader that during the work period I could come out and trim that bush.

[19:23]

Why don't they have more flowers? I guess Zen people don't have good aesthetics. Very utilitarian, neat and proper. I would have a sense of buoyancy and expansion. So readily, so easily, with such amazing versatility and creativity, the mind does what it does. So then, within this beautiful, wide-open concept, realization coming from returning to the nuts and bolts the body and breath question how how to be such a what no and [...] so in the last class I proposed an upon a Sati

[20:41]

And so here's my notion. I was going to talk more about Vedana and not so much about body breath, but I don't want to make that presumption too much. Maybe within the context of of Anupanasati within the context of the yoga of body, breath, feeling, and consciousness becoming allies in the process of realization. Body, breath, feeling, and consciousness becoming the medium of expressing realization. Each of them has that capacity.

[21:44]

And of course, each of them, the notion that they're separate is just an idea. They are not separate. But attending to them in a particular offers us some information. And so then every time we come back to sit, whether we like it or not, We start at the beginning. Okay. What's the body of Zazen? And you start with the body of this moment. What is the balance, the uprightness, the spaciousness, the ease that facilitates an energetic attention? What's the breath that breathes and flows and rediscovers and expresses the flow of accepting and releasing each moment?

[22:52]

And the initiation of Zazen is taking the time to rediscover that, taking the time to reconnect to the realization your being has had in relationship to that. So careful you don't rush through that process. You let it remember. Remember. Notice long breath, short breath. Notice the breath and the body. Notice how that can become a process for a more thorough connection.

[24:03]

How that more thorough connection become a process for Letting that unsettledness, that agitation in the body that keeps, that sort of dissipates the contact, the intimacy, the sense of thoroughly feeling and experiencing body. Coming into relationship, careful relationship with that, and then intentionally letting it ripen. And then with the breath. As the breath ripens, noticing that the breath can have almost, and maybe not almost, an emotional quality.

[25:06]

Allow and release. That holds... that holds a relationship to basic visceral feelings of our being. Of that period of Zazen. Maybe in that period of Zazen, the basic core emotional disposition is ease. Or maybe it's... kind of nervous unsettledness. Coming into contact with body breath. And the notion in the practice of Anupanasati is that

[26:13]

If we're just acting up, just the same way when we're sweeping the sidewalk, we can infuse it with all sorts of agendas. And then we're just... We're sweeping the sidewalk according to me, and sweepings according to me, and desirable outcome and undesirable outcome are according to me. It's all an intrigue. inside the world according to me and then quite naturally I'm going to be filled with the world according to me whereas when something when sweeping the sidewalk can be its own event it invites me so-called me outside the world according to me This is a very important and sometimes subtle point.

[27:22]

Invited outside the world according to me. So when Vedana is strong, when asserting the world according to me has a strong emotional charge, when it has an urgency, doing this because my life depends upon it. Wow. That's a powerful agenda. And the process of just noticing that that's what's coming up is very difficult the emotional charge if the Vedana is very strong. So the practice of anapanasati, the practice of coming into contact with your core being, however it is, is very helpful.

[28:47]

And then the other image I used the other day was we settle into our unsettled life. And this is often where we get confused. It's like, well, this, if I pay, objectively, if I just look at this with careful attention, things are getting worse. I thought I was a little bit upset. but actually when I look at it very closely, I'm really upset. I thought my life was a little bit, you know, out of control, a little bit messy, but when I look at it, it's really out of control. I can't even get my mind to do what I'd like it to do for 30 seconds in a row. unsettledness that we're starting to make contact with propels us back into the agendas of self.

[30:11]

Then the agendas of self stimulate the unsettledness. And then if we say, quick, quick, give me some Zen to fix all this. I need to get this self the way I want it to be. the way it ought to be. Then we've set ourselves up with the dilemma of the self is broken and I need Zen to fix it and Zen is not fixing it. Or even interestingly, another interesting dilemma, it does seem like Zen is fixing it. Can we get interested in the process and not be just fixed on achieving the desirable outcome?

[31:27]

This is the challenge of our practice. To put it in a little bit more sophisticated language, this is returning to the non-dual basis. beyond good and bad accomplishment failure. Noticing is just noticing. This feeling, that feeling. And then even when we notice struggle. Oh, I'm trying to make a certain result happen, or I'm trying to make a certain result not happen. Even in noticing the struggle, the teaching, the non-dual teaching.

[32:28]

So our unsettledness introduces us, our saddleness introduces us to our unsettledness, our unsettledness. just as it is, displays the nature of what is. Displays how it's being related to in that moment. Nice work if you can get it. But even just to keep in mind, just to keep in mind, okay, now what's happening now oh I'm really really upset oh oh I can't let go of that topic okay can they noticing

[33:34]

support, a shift. Seeing the process, the activity of mind, rather than being immersed in the intrigue. This is a very important point in practice. Noticing Letting that, letting what's noticed be experienced rather than simply pulled inside it. And constantly returning to this. And then as a question, what helps?

[34:51]

Let me just quote this, and then it will. Maybe. This quote I read, I don't know when I read it, but several days ago. In the authentic expression of our tradition, the Buddha way is authentically and directly transmitted when meeting with the teacher before prostrations, reciting Buddha's names, the act of repentance or reading sutras, just to be present in a state of noticing. I'm editing this madly as I go. If a human being, even for a moment, manifests this way of being, sits upright in attention, the entire world expresses the truth of the Buddha way.

[36:21]

The whole of space becomes the expression of realization. The practice increases the dormant joy that is the original state of being. I'll come back to that. Yes. Thank you. I think that I can do something unexpected. I don't know if it's not enough connection. Most of the time, it's something that is unexpected. What is that? And I know, you know, I can't expect other people to do something that I don't know, so why should I be happy?

[37:34]

But I don't understand. So what's the question? We should think about that, about, you know, I expect that something else with the family and then I don't mind it. I mean, I don't think I'll be happy. As we start to settle, often there's a way in which we don't make as much sense. How we're thinking and feeling doesn't make as much sense as it does when we're more caught up in the stories of our life. When we're in the stories of our life, getting angry is a very reasonable and appropriate response. As we settle more, it's like we look a little bit more closely at it, see it with more clarity, and usually it doesn't make so much sense.

[38:43]

This person is just being who they are, manifesting the conditioned nature of their life in this moment. And I am very angry about that. So let me move again to Anapanasati. So as we get in touch with the core disposition, as we get in touch with the core restlessness, the core anxiety, the core agitation, and we see how that sets the stage for kind of unsettled...

[39:52]

emotional response to our experience. As we start to get in touch with that, then our anger makes sense. Not because we're convinced by the narrative that usually arises with the anger, but because we're seeing more about the process that's what's going on inside of us. And so if you look at either Western psychology or Eastern psychology, you see they both offer different descriptions of how, what that process is like. It may be in very broad terms, Eastern psychology is more deconstruction. And then Western psychology is often looking at causal sequences. Eastern psychology is looking more at momentary causal sequences rather than in duration of time.

[41:04]

Early Eastern psychology, there was great effort put into, well, in that moment of anger, what are the different attributes of mind that contribute to it and make it so? But then it didn't answer, well, how come there are patterns? How come we have personalities? We tend to do similar things. And then what was added was, okay, there's a repository in consciousness as a consequence of experience. And when a new experience comes up, there's a referencing to previous experience. And then between the senses, And the repository of the consequence of experience is a function of going back and forth. And the function of going back and forth isn't neutral.

[42:13]

Otherwise, we would just simply be meeting each moment with a kind of unbiased attention. the function that goes back and forth, manas, becomes convinced that it's not just reporting on what's going on, it's actually in charge of what's going on. I will wish for the world to be a certain way, and that very determined wish will influence in that direction I will wish for it not to be a certain way and that will influence it and of course it does have some kind of influence but not the way it does within the passion of our emotions

[43:20]

So getting in touch with the core. And then often in Zazen, that refracts itself in getting in touch with the core of our being. As I keep interlacing, interweaving into the yoga, okay, feel it in your abdomen. Connect your breath, let your breath open. connecting to the physiological, the psychosomatic, learning something about how to have these be allies in the process of awareness. Something about how to develop

[44:28]

the disposition of noticing. What's happening now? So now we're going to do a dyad on that very subject. So if you could pair up with someone. If you're in the kitchen, you have 10 minutes. We can do it. So now before we start, use body and breath as an ally.

[45:41]

There's nothing to gain, nothing to lose. You're not going to succeed or fail at this exercise. It's merely noticing. Right now I'm noticing your body, your breath, noticing your mental disposition? What has the very notion of doing the exercise stimulated? Is there some relationship to performance? Are you excited? Intimidated? Resistant?

[46:52]

Eager? Are you lining up possible answers? Can you, without dismissing or denying any of that, you tune into the moment just as it is? Okay. That's how it is. It's either good or bad. It just is. And could you decide who's going to ask first and who's going to answer first? your chairs a little more, make it a little easier.

[47:58]

Okay. Just a second. So the nature of repeated questions, you just ask the question, you listen deeply to whatever answer your partner has. Every answer they have is the full expression of the Buddha way. And then you can either say thank you or just pause and then ask the question again. You don't wait too long and you don't come back in too quickly. You don't nod approvingly, you don't Wince when you think, that was a terrible answer. Open, simple attention, receiving what's... And as the person who's being asked, can you trust the moment always unfolds?

[49:16]

You don't need to manufacture what's happening now. It unfolds. It happens. There'll be another moment. There will be another arising. And keep your answer concise. Thinking of this. Feeling my left thigh. Noticing an itch on my face. Whatever it is. Just some concise response of what's happening in that moment. Okay? Okay, then you can begin. What's happening now? What's happening now?

[50:25]

What's your name? [...] Well, it's like . [...] What's the next thing though?

[51:54]

And then if you could just finish the answer you have right now and then pause. And just for a moment close your eyes. Just an internal response. What's happening now? Mental disposition. Breath, the body. It's that receptive awareness. You could open your eyes and change roles.

[53:27]

Questioner now answers. Same process. Thank you. Thank you. What's that name now?

[54:31]

What do you expect, sir? Thank you. What happens now? [...] . . . . .

[55:49]

. . . I'm sorry. Well, that's not what I got.

[57:17]

Thank you. And then if you could finish giving the answer you're giving, and then both just close your eyes again, please. Don't try to change your experience, just notice it. And then if you could just make a closing contact and acknowledgement with your partner, and then turn back towards the front, please.

[58:55]

Did you notice that there's something stimulating from the process? Just the interaction. Someone else saying what's happening now and waiting for an answer. Interaction is energizing. stimulates what's called in Buddhist practice pity, often translated as joy, mental joy. I'll put this book on the reserve over there too. In it, Buddhadasa, as he's taking apart Anapanasati, it's interesting because he talks about how pity needs to be refined into sukha, which is physical joy, physical ease.

[61:23]

And it's an interesting notion. Another notion is that the pity, that mental joy, exhilaration, energy, is just fine the way it is. Maybe our mental stimulation tends to stimulate particular thoughts, particular... feelings associated with those thoughts. But that's... But the energy is just energy. Do with it what you will. Joy is joy. If you say, okay, then I have to have a whole lot of that.

[62:28]

I'm going back to the Zendo. I'm going to run around getting people to ask me what's happening now. Okay. Or if you notice, oh, then it stimulates all these thoughts, so I have to quiet the mind down. I've got to really tempt it down. I've got to bring it back into a more orderly state. And the marvelous thing and attractive thing about sukha, it has a certain reassuring, comforting quality to it. That physical, visceral ease. As you take a hot shower, as you slide into a hot tub. It's a good feeling.

[63:35]

It's pleasant. It's soothing. It's almost in its own way reassuring. It has a certain quality, certain characteristic to its joy, to its energizing. Pity has a certain quality characteristic to its energizing. So from a more neutral position, they're just what they are. And they're both there to be experienced. And the request to meet the moment, the request engage what is.

[64:37]

And then not entangle it in a story and resurrect and re-stimulate the world according to me. Just let it be more momentary. It brightens. It brings a kind of pity energizing clarity and it brings stabilization. When the body's included in the activity and it's not just you're all in your head. The body is engaged. And how in your sitting to both initiate the inquiry, initiate the engagement skillfully with directed attention, and how to receive this mutuality of involvement.

[65:58]

And then there's a term in Buddhism, contact. What's happening now? Contact the moment in contrast to getting all caught up in it. Here's what's happening, and it reminds me of this, and I'm kind of disappointed that this is coming up because I really would have preferred to be thinking about something else. I wanted to impress you with a really zen answer. Yeah. So you're all inside something. Can you just make contact? Can there be that kind of humility? Simplicity? Trust? Whatever it is. So part of the art of Zazen is that there is intentionality.

[67:04]

Directed attention, receptive attention. And then there is inquiry. And what happens when you bring all that to the moment? What is this amazing process called being alive? Interaction, engagement, something getting sparked, something coming alive. Sometimes even that's a helpful disposition. Can you feel the energy of the moment? And then Dogen Zenji, in that piece that I quoted, he says, and this is the direct teaching of the way. Of all the Buddhas, this is what...

[68:08]

they sparked in their interaction. One way or another, they asked, what's happening now? Sometimes with a shout, sometimes with a fan, sometimes with utter silence. There's a coin where one person's sweeping, and the other person comes along and says, Are you busy when you're sleeping? Interaction. You might think, oh, he's trying to prove a point. He's trying to win or lose in some Dharma debate. Maybe. Maybe not. Just interaction. So any comments or questions?

[69:15]

Yes. Well, I was contrasting that question that we were asking each other, the more common question that I think we hear a lot, which is, how are you doing? Because how are you doing invites this reference to a story, right? Yeah. So I was thinking that she didn't ask me that. the second agitation and the question that happened this morning. And by keeping in a moment, it got me to move beyond that. And of course the interaction. So we'll tell you that kind of, how do we move that question of how are we doing to speak? Yes. It's hard to move that question, how are you doing, to something else. Because I guess we could start trying to say something now, but sometimes it's a response to people who aren't part of this discussion.

[70:25]

Thank you. I think it's a little... It fits. I guess I'll push it. I was just thinking, like, people keep asking me how my number is going, because... without it right in that way. And it really, it's not how she did it, it's really how she met. That's the more important thing. It's a long struggle for her. Yeah. That's a good point. You know, if you've ever nursed anyone who's dying, you realize they're in a process. And at any particular point, They're at that point in the process. And usually, as someone gets closer to death, the process becomes more volatile, mobile. You're less preoccupied with your career and things like that.

[71:27]

Your life tends to become more momentary. Sometimes you have moments of ease sometimes you have moments of deep agitation you learn when you go to visit somebody who's in the throes of dying don't assume because yesterday they were agitated that today they're still agitated today they might be quite at ease or vice versa I don't like that question. And just the dyad gave us permission to go straight to intimacy. And I think there's a second part to what you were saying. And you mentioned it a little bit, like people might think that is odd. So what I'm interested in is how to moderate that frame of intimacy, but we'll just enjoy to have that kind of part of the conversation.

[72:34]

Oh. Yeah. It's an interesting question, isn't it? Yeah. I just, I find this talk really helpful about self-equality. Mm-hmm. And essentially, I guess it's sort of a comment I also put on reflection. When I first started to do this exercise in class, I don't know where I got it from, was to think I had to respond, this mean if I could quit, you know, one more short break. And then over time, maybe, You know, we're in a rush.

[73:39]

And I was noticing at this time as well that allowing a person's space is really important. And then the same thing in my city that I work in the community to you know, just to give him a space, like a subtle, and that seems to be really important. Or even not subtle. That's why I was mentioning both piti and sukha. You know, there can be an enlivening quality. And... And that might be dominant.

[75:04]

Yeah, I mean, it's my observation. As people meditate more, I mean, we learn the body is a great ally and that settling sort of what you might call underneath our emotional dictates is a helpful thing. But it's important to remember, while it is a helpful thing, that engagement has its own contribution, which is a different kind of energy. It's pity. It's the consciousness of mind is stimulated. And the joy of mind has a different characteristic from the joy of body. The joy of body is like soothing and warm.

[76:06]

The joy of mind is more like electric. And it's important to not say, oh, well, that's not as good as, or it's important to not turn it the other way around either and say, that's better than. It's just different. And in the yoga of zazen, they're complementary. And this is why in the Zen school, we would use inquiry. Not to just get lost in mind games, but to kind of stimulate that attention, that kind of brightness of mind. Any other thoughts? Well, we can add to these words whatever we wanted, right?

[77:27]

I mean, I'm just relating them back to these terms in Pali, because that's That's a term that's used in the original text. And they're terms that have been crafted into Buddhist language to give us a way to talk about these aspects of consciousness. How we more commonly use the word happiness and joy, certainly I think is open to discussion. I'm not saying the way I'm using is the way we always use them. I've never heard of differentiated before. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it often strikes me the term to enjoy, to join joy. Enjoy it. Join in the joy of interaction with it.

[78:31]

Become that joy. Enjoy. Just to finish with another image in Zen. You set the stage. You align the body. You align the breath. You let the... Let something settle into... a more raw, available way of being. And in the interaction, the immediate Zen is like stepping off the top of a 100-foot pole. You step into this raw, unmediated, enlivened being. you're not in control it's not about I'm running this ship and it's going where I say it's going it just becomes whatever it becomes and and then the next line says and all being all existence becomes the existence of Buddha

[80:03]

becomes the existence of awakening. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[80:38]

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