This podcast is offered by San Francisco's Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning, everyone. Be welcome. All of you here, and all of you out there on Zoom, wherever you may be. And a Happy New Year's Eve to you all. I was just kind of reflecting. There's some people that might already be in 2003. That's pretty mind-boggling, is it not? In fact, don't as well about that. That's not the topic. But anyway, we all have a wonderful year, and we go from there. So the first noble truth

[01:01]

which was the Buddha's first teaching after he was enlightened when he gathered his five disciples, was that life contains inevitable, unavoidable suffering. This stress, or what is also called Dutta, is uncomfortable. And we seek to minimize or suppress. Interestingly, that often leads to greater suffering, anxiety, addictions, et cetera, raises the question, what happens when we accept the universal truth of suffering? Perhaps suffering is actually a limit. So when we're confronted with suffering, our reaction is to strive to get away from it, to escape. We work very, very hard at this in a variety of ways.

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We become obsessed and strive for perfection. We drink alcohol. We drink drugs. We become addicted to dopamine and adrenaline. You know, we work harder to get away from it. So we either work really hard, and speaking personally, I've worked very, very hard at being bad, trying to get away from it. And I worked reasonably hard at trying to be very, very good to try to get away from suffering. And I can say that neither has really worked. Trying to escape it just doesn't work. It doesn't happen. And yet I persisted in that mode for many, many, many years. You know, I was... I had an addiction to drugs and alcohol for many years. And fortunately, I've been able to be in recovery from that now for 31 years, and for which I'm extremely grateful.

[03:14]

But I'm trying that path. I'm very thorough trying that path to escape suffering. I also try to work really hard to escape suffering, as I mentioned. I try to be one of the best Zen students. You know, I'm perfectly skilled. I coach all the dance and the activities. I try to listen to my teacher, do what my teacher suggested. By and large, I would try that wrong. Sometimes the suggestion was not something I really looked forward to, but wanted to indulge in. But nonetheless, I tried. And I found that that didn't even actually work. I suffered from anxiety greatly. And I remember, this is some years ago, and I was living at Greenville.

[04:17]

And all of a sudden, this anxiety overtook me. And it persists. And I would toss and turn all night and think of this and think of that and meaningless by and large. And so at that time, Victoria Austin was my teacher. And so I went to her and asked her, I said, what's going on? And she said, you are addicted to adrenaline. And I went, oh, OK. And she said, that's very, very dangerous for you because you as an alcoholic and an addict. That could present problems. So a few days later, I was kind of reflecting on what she had told me. I said, yes. I mean, as much as I dislike this anxiety, there's a part of it that I really do like. There's a part of it that's addictive. Because it releases that adrenaline. It releases the dopamine.

[05:19]

So I started to work with that. So, it's like Wendy said in her talk a couple weeks ago, the Dharma talk, that we suffer from the agony of existence. Well, that's tough. That's problematic. But do we have to suffer from the agony of existence? She mentioned John Donne and Machiavelli, but even the lesser mortals suffered the same agony. And this agony has been going on since the 1500s when they were alive, and way before that, obviously all the way back to Buddha, 2,500 plus years ago, because he put that forward on the first day after his enlightenment. So it goes on right up to this moment. It's interesting that the upcoming practice period one of the lines in the description reads, life's challenges as a teaching on how to be more fully alive and engaged in being.

[06:29]

So the challenges of life are a teaching on how to be more fully alive and engaged. Now that's a new way of looking at this suffering. Wendell Berry, who's a poet, a farmer, a man of the land, wrote a poem called Our Real Work. And it goes, when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work. And when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings. The impeded stream is the one that sings. So what all that means to me, he's turned this on its axis, that this suffering, these life challenges, which are these teachings, he's proposing that that's where our real work is, and they are offering us insight into what to do, where to go, how to go, perhaps, or at least opening a door.

[07:47]

or pulling back the curtain to give us a glimpse of what we might do. The impeded stream, so in other words, think of a stream rolling down the hills, down the mountain, and when it hits rocks, and when it hits branches in the stream, that's when it really sinks. So likewise, for ourselves, when we go along life's path, and we hit these obstacles, This suffering, which may be something so simple as, gee, that person over there really bothers me. Or maybe something huge that, oh, my gosh, I have very, very serious health issues. Or it may be, what about these people in the Ukraine? Or what about black lives mattering? And, you know, this suffering is huge. But indeed, it can and it does open a door. part the curtains for us and allows us to sing, if you will.

[08:52]

Rumi said, if you have to keep breaking your, you have, you have, you must keep breaking your heart until it opens, until you have an undefended heart open to all and everything. Suzuki Roshi said, As long as we live or as long as we have this body, it is not possible to get out of suffering. Now, that doesn't necessarily have to be bad news. As I'm mentioning, that can be the awakening. That can be what is causing our stream to sing. So, it is not as long as we live. Or as long as we have this body, it's not possible to get out of suffering. But he went on, he said. So the point is how to change our suffering into joy of life.

[09:58]

True joy of life. This is how to help others. So we have this chance to turn this suffering that will be with us as long as we live. in minor and major ways, to change our suffering into the joy of life, true joy of life. And this has to do with helping others. So not just being so focused upon ourselves and upon our own problems and upon our own suffering. So it turns out our suffering and agony is truly a gift. It gives us the incentive to grow and change. It gives us depth and understanding, and hopefully it gives us compassion. So that's the offer of our suffering. Will we, can we take it up? Father Terry, Catholic priest who recently passed away,

[11:07]

was quoted as saying, we don't work harder, we resist less. So all those efforts that I had put into escaping my suffering through a variety of being good, being bad, what have you, those were all working harder, and they didn't work out. They didn't manifest in banishing, or even hardly, maybe slightly, Time to time, they lessened my suffering, but it was very brief, and it came back only more fiercely. So we don't work harder, we resist less. So when your suffering comes up, working harder to banish it, to remove it, to escape it, is not the path to pursue. We want to resist it less and move on. So this brings us to the cultivation of joy and the helping of others.

[12:13]

And how do we do this? So I want to bring forth a method that has worked for me. And this is the Lojong slogans or aphorisms. And they come to us from Tibetan Buddhism. But there are a number of slogans. that are designed as a set of antidotes. They're antidotes to undesirable mental habits that cause suffering. We must train the mind as we train our body. Training the mind takes only know-how and intention. It also takes repetitive training over time. So it's just like going to the gym or jogging or walking or doing yoga. We don't do it once and we've banished the undesirable habits.

[13:22]

Or we don't do it once and we're suddenly in good shape. It's a practice that we must continue and we must engage in continuous practice. It takes repetitive training over time. So the Lojong slogan that I find most appropriate in this instance, and that meaning being helpful to resist less, that meaning being helpful to accept our suffering, is slogan number 21, which says, maintain joy and don't lose your sense of humor. Always maintain only a joyful mind. That's another translation of it. And a third translation is, a joyous state of mind is a constant support. Oh, thank goodness, a support in the midst of my suffering. And all I have to do is try to maintain a joyous mind and don't lose my sense of humor.

[14:28]

And all I have to do is help others. What a relief. I don't have to be downcast. I don't have to be depressed. I don't have to be morose. I don't have to walk around with my head down or hide in the dark. I don't have to stay in my bed and try to escape as much as I can. It can be a constant source of support, that joyous mind. So in the big books of Alcoholics Anonymous, there's an interesting quote. It says, we are not a glum lot. Now, you would think that all these alcoholics coming together and the experiences they had when they were using and drinking might make them rather glum. But indeed, it doesn't. And if you've ever been to a 12-step meeting, you'll find that there's a lot of joy and happiness. The reason is... To further quote, we can see how our experience can benefit others.

[15:32]

And helping others is the way to maintain our well-being. So I'm putting forward to you, don't work so hard, resist less, and cultivate a joyous mind. Joy has to do with having the openness of heart to receive life as it is. It has to do with having an undefended heart. We don't need to hide. We don't need to shrink up. We don't need to retreat. We can be open and joyous, which doesn't mean we like everything that does occur. It doesn't mean we condone all actions of our own and of others. But we start with ourselves. So slogan 21 says, always maintain only a joyful mind. Constantly apply cheerfulness, if for no other reason than because you are on this spiritual path.

[16:41]

The Buddha said we've been granted with this gift of human life. We're not in the hell realms and we're not in the heavens. We are here. We have this gift to live and pursue and practice. and grow our lives. Constantly apply cheerfulness, if for no other reason than because you are on this spiritual path. Have a sense of gratitude to everything, even difficult emotions. So oftentimes, those difficult emotions are what propel us forward. Maybe not propel us. Maybe they nudge us forward. And sometimes I just creep forward and I put one foot forward and two feet back. And then I put another one forward and maybe one foot back. And slowly, perhaps, there's progress. But I'm not the judge of that. I'm not here to say, okay, I want to become the most beautiful, compassionate person I can.

[17:45]

I might strive in that direction, but I'm not stuck on that. I have to learn what that is. I have to experience that on a daily, moment-by-moment basis. When adverse conditions come, meditate joyfully and in addition, learn to take joyfully all the adversity others experience. So not just my own adversity, but yours and yours and all of ours. Maintain joy and humor as a... tool designed to help us, not a stick to beat ourselves up with or an invitation to pretend we are feeling what we are actually not feeling. So faking it doesn't work. Learn to acknowledge where you are in the moment and how you actually feel. But that doesn't mean you have to be stuck in it. It doesn't mean you have to give over to it. Yesterday when I got up, it was a terrible day.

[18:49]

Already, before I got out of bed, things were not going my way. And it continued for a while. But somehow I was able to acknowledge that. And not take that upon myself. I would say, OK, this day is. Is difficult. I'm a little off center here. You know. These things are not exactly going my way. You know, it's interesting how much suffering comes from things not going my way. I didn't want it like that. I don't like that. Why did that happen then? Et cetera, et cetera. So at any rate, yesterday I was able to acknowledge that but not get stuck in it. And that's some growth for me. I did get stuck in it off and on throughout the day, but then I went, oh, okay. Wait a second. That's what I'm feeling, but I don't have to manifest it.

[19:51]

And I can let that go. According to this slogan, we should not practice the Dharma with gritted teeth, but with delight. So I'm not saying, damn, I feel terrible today. Today sucks. It's not what I like. I'm going to try to beat it out of me or beat it out of the day somehow. That's futile. Again, it goes back to working hard to escape it in one manner or another. So we should practice the Dharma with some delight and be thankful we have this spiritual path that has been given to us. We should appreciate our good fortune in having found a teaching that not only talks about uprooting suffering and its cause, but also shows us how to do so. We should have a little humor. And sometimes around within the Zen community, there's just so little humor.

[20:58]

And sometimes there's a lot of great humor. And I revel in the humorous days. Not that it should always be like that. But again, that gritted teeth approach, I don't find it nourishing. I don't find it helpful. And I don't find it, I find it without a lack of compassion. This does not just apply when things are going well, having that little bit of humor. And it does not mean that we should be disengaged. It doesn't mean we should just escape it and run away. It means, in fact, the opposite, that we should be engaged. Instead, we touch in with a sense of lightness and joy repeatedly in whatever we do, no matter what is going on. When we cling to particular situations, sensations, if X happens, then I will be joyful, conditions are also never quite right for joy.

[22:10]

When I first, many, many, many years ago, attempted to meditate, the conditions were never right. I never got what I wanted. I was supposed to have some kind of celestial experience or levitate or... what have you, and it just wasn't happening. And so consequently, I gave up meditation until 40 years later because the sensations, you know, the conditions were never quite right because I was clinging to that. So clinging is another factor that impedes us from moving on from our suffering, from our dukkha. As the Dalai Lama does living in exile, He manifests joy from our deepest core, from his deepest core. We are able to sit with the impermanent, unsatisfactory, painful, and non-joyful elements of experience. A joyful heart. Mind welcomes the moment as it is.

[23:14]

Free of the static that comes when we are constantly comparing the moment to perfection. The joyful heart. The mind is free to find ways to cultivate the conditions for joy, of joy for all beings. Dogen, in the Tenzo Koikun Instructions for the Cook, explores gratitude as an expression of joy. And he points out, if we lived in a heavenly realm, we may not even think to practice. If we lived in hell, then practice may be too difficult. We can be grateful for exactly where we are. So those are a lot of words about cultivating a joyful mind and how that perhaps is a valuable avenue, path for us to deal with our suffering and problems.

[24:15]

But how do we cultivate that joyful mind? Well, I'd like to offer some practical techniques for that. So, one way to quote, for today's practice, I would like to simply pass on a practice I received from Trungpa Rinpoche, which is simplicity itself, but oddly effective. No matter what you are feeling or what is going on, smile at least once per day. So try that out right now. This can be at least your once per day, a smile. You can do it more, but at least once per day. Another important method for me is gratitude practice.

[25:16]

And feeling grateful is important. Feeling gratitude and knowing that is important. But I need to manifest it in a concrete way. So I have had a practice for a number of years where each day I email a friend of mine three things I'm grateful for. And I just, one, two, three, I say, good morning. I'm grateful because the rain has come and the drought has diminished, although it's causing some problems with the running water in our basement. But nonetheless, I'm grateful for this rain. But I also... Oh, yesterday I was confronted by someone and I was able to listen to them and hear what they had to say and I didn't react.

[26:21]

That might be another example. I'm grateful because it's New Year's and it's going to be a beautiful 2023, etc. Anyway, I emailed this friend three things I'm grateful for each day. And literally, I do this each day. I do it right after I awake. Awaken in the morning. Now, that friend does not respond to these. In fact, that's important that they don't. I just, I send them out into the world and I share them. But it causes me, sometimes when I'm trying to think, and I do it in the morning for the previous day. So sometimes I'm there. What the hell am I grateful for today? Wait, I can't. I got two things. What's the third thing? And then sometimes I'm going, oh, boy, I almost forgot about that. That was really great, you know, that situation or that event, something that occurred.

[27:24]

So doing that and without having them respond is important. So I just put it out there. I don't expect them to pat me on the head or say, what a jerk you were or anything like that. It's just I put them out each day and share them with someone. They also send me a gratitude list each day. It's not particularly important that they do. For me, what's most important is sending it out. That helps me create, maintain, build, strengthen a joyous mind. So we already talked about smile at least once per day. Downstairs in the hallway on the way to the Zendo, there's a beautiful old statue of Buddha. And that Buddha's in a mudra like this. And I swear that Buddha has a smile on its face.

[28:27]

And so I've made it a part of my practice to, on my way to the Zendo, step forward into the hallway part where this Buddha is. And I bow. And I mimic that mudra and bow. And that Buddha smiles back at me each day. And that helps my day. Doesn't mean my day is going to be perfect or everything's going to go my way or like I want it or hope it would be. But it puts a sense of cheer, joy and love into my life. So the other thing is that. We recently, in the past practice period, were studying koans. And case number six in the Blue Cliff Records, Uman's koan is, every day is a good day. Now, that really can be difficult to accept and live with and work with.

[29:30]

But when you stop with this goal of maintaining a joyful mind and a sense of humor, You can see that each day is a good day in its own way. And you can be grateful for that. You know, when I heard that koan, not for the first time, but most recently, I thought, oh, I've heard an expression of that in contemporary life. And it made me think of Mr. Rogers, which is, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. And I think that's an expression. of every day is a good day. So Thich Nhat Hanh also had a wonderful thing to say regarding this about joy. He said, sometimes joy is the source of your smile. But sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

[30:32]

Once more. Sometimes your joy is a source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. So I'd like to close with this, offering a new year greeting. A monk asked Dogen Zenji, what is the Buddha Dharma this new year? Dogen replied, The same Buddha Dharma as last year. This New Year's Day is the same. Every day we should do what we should do. And this is still true in our modern time. Every day we should do what we should do. At the new year, everybody smiles. The trees and birds are also smiling. With courageous. right effort, we can find that every day is a good day.

[31:37]

I hope you can do what you should do with good health in your body and mind throughout the coming year. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

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