This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Good morning, everyone here at Green Gulch and those of you on Zoom, on streaming. This... is the first talk I've given in person in this way since pre-COVID, I think. And it feels very familiar and also unusual. Can you hear me in the back? Yes, sort of? Better not. OK. So thank you very much for coming to the talk. It's a very windy day at Green Gulch, and it's perfect kite flying weather.

[01:05]

And my grandson, who's three years old, is visiting with my daughter, and we had gotten him a kite for the holidays, and we took it out, and it flew. It flew beautifully. It was very exciting to fly a kite, and it's very disappointing. To fly a kite when there isn't enough wind, it's just you run and run and sort of, yeah. Maybe I'm going to talk about that a little bit, come to think of it in this talk today. So this is leading up to Thanksgiving week and the season of giving and holidays, which... as we know, can be difficult for many people, can be hard. Cyclical holidays and dates bring up memories, both sad and happy memories, and being either with family and friends or not.

[02:15]

Anyway, it's a time that's not so easy. And soon we'll be sitting our Rohatsu Sesshin right after Thanksgiving. And that's, Rohatsu means head of the year, and it's, or no, eighth of the month. December 8th, it commemorates the Buddha's Enlightenment, the date of December 8th. So we sit this seven-day session commemorating the Buddha's awakening, the Buddha's enlightenment. And just to mention, we don't usually talk very much, as you may have noticed, about enlightenment. It's not a big subject that's brought up all the time or people asking you about it.

[03:24]

Kind of in honor of Rohatsu Sesshin, I wanted to bring up some teachings from Suzuki Roshi when he did speak about enlightenment. So I'm going to bring that up a little later, along with turning the question of how do we really help anyone? How do we help people? How do we help others? How do we help ourselves? I wanted to spend a little time with you talking about a recent loss in my life and the lives of many people, which actually was the springboard for this talk about helping people and what is enlightenment. I started out with wanting to bring up that my uncle,

[04:25]

David Frischberg died just this past week, actually, on Wednesday. And Dave Frischberg, some of you may know who he is, others of you may not, but I'll just say a few words about him. He, in terms of his public face, he was a jazz musician, jazz pianist, and also lyricist and song singer himself, songwriter and singer. And he played the piano, and he was 88 years old when he died peacefully this week. So just, he had an obituary in the New York Times, which was really beautifully written. They said many things about him, but I wanted to speak from my heart.

[05:29]

He was a very, very funny guy, a person, very witty, very clever. And this went into his lyrics. You may not know his songs, or you may know one of his songs. Those of you who grew up watching TV in the United States, a show called Schoolhouse Rock, which was on Saturday mornings. He wrote a song called I'm Just a Bill on Capitol Hill. It's about how a bill becomes law. And I looked it up, the song, and there was all these comments about it. But that particular song, these People were saying they use it in their classes to teach about civics and the Constitution. And you can look it up if you want. It's animated, this bill, which is like a piece of paper left on the Capitol steps. And he's lamenting that he's just a bill, but he wants to be a law someday.

[06:35]

Anyway, it's very clever. And it ended up being one of his more famous songs, even though... He was more in the genre of lounge songs or jazz songs. So he grew up, he was born in St. Paul, Minnesota, and grew up, spent a number of years living in a household, my household, while I was going to the University of Minnesota. Lived with my mother. And our family, he was her youngest brother. So he played the piano all the time in the house and was kind of self-taught in terms of jazz. And he was kind of a genius in that way. So that's kind of his public face.

[07:44]

much more to say about that but the reason I'm mourning him mostly I mean the loss of his music and his way of being is remembering how much he helped me as a young person and this question of how do you really help somebody what was it about this person that was so helpful. So. In reflecting on this, what I realized is the help that he gave me. At a time when I was going through a very, very difficult time, he lived in Greenwich Village. This is in the 60s. And I was. kind of exiled from my house and living in a kind of a foster home situation and in Philadelphia.

[08:49]

And he said I could come visit in Greenwich Village whenever I wanted to. So I used to take the train from Philadelphia to New York and stay at his apartment with his wife. So the help that he wouldn't have called help was just that he didn't have any judgment about me whatsoever. He didn't have opinions about my life or what I did or didn't do or how could I have done that or anything. He hadn't jumped to any conclusions about who I was or who I could be. And the Bob Dylan lyrics of I wasn't defined or confined or, you know, there was, but he ceased to gauge all thoughts and views about and just opened his house to me, his apartment, and welcomed me.

[10:04]

And I felt that I belonged. somewhere. But this non-judgmental was so healing. But that's just the way he was. He was not trying to help me. Often when we try to help, we've got an idea of, oh, they need this or I could fix that. This would be good for them. But he was just living his life, which included a very open mind, very As I said, no opinions, no judgments, no concerns in that way. So I think that I hoped that he knew how much that meant to me. Later, when I could, many, many years later, I tried to say, but I could tell he didn't even get it then.

[11:10]

Because he was just being himself and living the life of a jazz musician in Greenwich Village in New York in the 60s, meeting with all kinds of musicians who would come over. And they also, come to think of it, had no opinion about me. That was not what they were into. They were just open-minded and accepting completely. So in thinking about that, I realized what I wanted to talk about today was how do you help someone? I think each of us has people in our lives as well as ourselves that we want to do something for. We want to help. We want to be there for them. And we may not know how or have too many ideas of how that really miss the mark.

[12:13]

So flowing from this, I wanted to bring up some teachings around how you help people from Suzuki Roshi in this lecture, the Sesshin lecture in 1965, July, that I'm studying with a group of people who are reading together. It's a study group reading all of Suzuki Roshi's lectures, starting from the beginning and we're in 1965 right now. So in this lecture, Suzuki Roshi brings up in a beautiful way, he talks about enlightenment or practice enlightenment and also how do you help someone? So as I was saying, it's not so usual to talk about enlightenment or ask about it.

[13:21]

Sometimes people will bring it up. But what is it that they're trying to bring up? And oftentimes people might come with an idea that they want to get this thing called enlightenment. They want to get it and they're going to go after it and attain it. And in that, that can sometimes be a big encouragement. It can be an encouragement to sit and to establish one's practice. And it also can get in the way. So in this lecture, Suzuki Roshi brings up enlightenment and says it's some kind of psychological state. supported by wisdom, a right wisdom. And we can call that enlightenment, he said.

[14:23]

However, if you lack a way-seeking mind, the mind of the bodhisattva, bodhicitta, bodhicitta is bodhi is awakening, citta is mind, the mind of a bodhisattva, way-seeking mind, if you're lacking that, then it's not real enlightenment. He calls that dry enlightenment, which is, I tell you, I've never heard that phrase before. I don't know if anyone else has. And he brings up, this is the 60s, he brings up, you know, you could have some kind of experience while taking LSD. some kind of psychological experience. However, if it's not supported by the way-seeking mind or the bodhisattva mind, it's this dry enlightenment.

[15:28]

So there's a question asked to people when they first... arrive at a monastery that Dogen brings up, which is, have you awakened ways seeking mind? Not have you awakened or have you attained enlightenment. Have you awakened ways seeking mind? That is what you could say is practice enlightenment. This one word, hyphenated or not hyphenated, one word, like an email address, practice enlightenment. It's just one word. To have some kind of experience without this way-seeking mind, this bodhisattva, mind of the bodhisattva, is now what we're talking about. Now, this is an illustration that Suzuki Roshi brings up, reminds me of what Steve Weintraub said last week about

[16:40]

Chino Roshi shooting an arrow, doing target practice, but turning towards the ocean at Esalen and shooting an arrow into the sea and saying, can't miss. And Suzuki Roshi brings up this illustration or analogy from Dobin about shooting, also target practice, shooting an arrow. at a target and missing 99 times, over and over and over again, you make that effort to hit the mark. You make that effort over and over and over, sincerely, with sincere heart. And you miss over and over and over. And then, maybe on the hundredth time, wow, You hit the target. However, and this is, I hope you appreciate this, missing the target and hitting the target, there's no difference between that if the effort is sincere.

[18:00]

The trying to hit the target 99 times and missing with a full intention and full heart, And sincerity is the same as hitting it. It's the same effort. There isn't a difference in the effort. Of course, we like to hit the mark, right? We got it. We got a hole in one. We hit the bullseye. My father-in-law actually got three holes in one in his lifetime. It was just like, what? We like that. And this is what Suzuki Roshi says. The meaning of practice, actual practice, even though you miss the mark, the meaning of practice is the same. To hit the mark or miss the mark, he says lose the mark, is not different.

[19:05]

That is our enlightenment. One might feel like, wait a minute, huh? Come on. Missing over and over again? But this is this practice based on sincerity, true heart, bodhisattva vow of dedicating our lives for the benefit of beings. That spirit, that effort, over and over and over again forever, that's what he's talking about when he's talking about enlightenment. Practice enlightenment. Our effort and sincerity upheld by bodhisattva vow, bodhisattva mind, way-seeking mind. So enlightenment, this is Suzuki Roshi, it's not only the enlightenment that's valuable. The failure by true spirit is also valuable.

[20:11]

It has the same meaning. And then he speaks about zazen. Even though your zazen is not perfect, or you struggle, or you're sleepy, or you have pain, you can't sit up straight. That effort that you make, that sincere effort, that is our way-seeking mind, and that has the same meaning. We can't... judge. We have to suspend judgment and opinions about how our Zasen is. It's not really. It's for someone else to ask us. Whenever we look, we see I'm not doing okay or I'm missing the mark. And if that's an encouragement to I will practice hard, I will continue to make my effort, I will continue to sit, then

[21:13]

then that's fine. If it's a discouragement, if it's a corrosive kind of way of thinking about our zazen, then that will not help you or anybody. It's not a way to help anybody. Doing our practice, taking up our practice over and over and over again with this sincerity and true heart, will help beings. Without us trying to help beings, that spirit of our life will be communicated. If you do not have way-seeking mind, this is Suzuki Roshi, even though you attain enlightenment, that enlightenment is, I said this before, called dry enlightenment. And then he laughs. No meaning in it.

[22:15]

So the meaning is having this way-seeking mind, the bodhisattva mind, that is dedicated to the benefit of all beings. And we usually say before, save all beings, before ourselves. But really there's no difference between that practice and saving all beings and saving ourselves. This is helping self and others right at the exact same time. So in this lecture, one of the students said, but how do you help people if you're not enlightened? How do you really help? And Suzuki Roshi leaves it open for a while. There's a lot of students who chime in with their thoughts on this. And finally, he comes down to. There should be some way to help others, you know.

[23:21]

Why we help others is not only to help others, but also not to have a regretful life. And then a student said, could you say that again? And he said, oh. Try not to have a regretful life is the most important point. To live our lives so that at the end of our lives, we won't regret how we lived that life. We wasted that life. We lived that life in vain. So part of I must help others and live this kind of life is for ourselves to not feel regretful later.

[24:30]

However, and then he reiterates it several times, however, you should do it from your innermost heart. So if you're saying, well, I should help people because then later I won't. Be regretful. So that's why I'm going to do it. If it's not coming from your heart, if it's strategy and strategic, well, let me see, how can I not be regretful? I guess I'll give something to that person. It's like a shallow, it's like a shell, really, coming from our innermost heart of wanting to live this life in accord with our true nature. in accord with our way-seeking mind that is encouraging us every day with our everyday practices over and over and over. So helping ourselves and helping others is not different.

[25:44]

And if we get caught with, I'm going to help others, at our own expense, what do we end up doing? We end up blaming other people. You know, after all I did for you, and then you treat me this way, or you adore me, or you don't even thank me, you know, it becomes blaming and anger, which I'm familiar with, where I thought I was doing it for the other person. But I was leaving something out, which was my own capacity, my own feeling sense or sensitivity. And it wasn't from the innermost heart. It was a kind of fake in some way, wanting to look good, wanting to be seen as a generous person, maybe. It doesn't work. It's very thin and it backfires. And then we end up blaming the other person we were trying to help for being that way.

[26:50]

So sometimes, and this is kind of like my Uncle David, helping someone thoroughly is not because you and I have an idea of helping them. You just lead your life fully and thoroughly. And in his case, creatively and openly. And that in itself helps beings, helps him and helped everyone who lives with you and speaks with you. If you're walking your path, some people may not agree with it, disagree, try to convince you otherwise or put you down. But to feel you're on your path, And to have your intuition in place, that helps beings.

[27:56]

And I think we all know people, I would say, who are completely doing what they do, whether it's art or religious practice or anything, carpentry or cooking. They're just totally doing it. And it helps others. They're not baking with full body and mind with an ulterior motive of trying to help others. They're doing their life thoroughly, their everyday practice. And the failing, this teaching around failing, the 99 times and the 100th where you supposedly succeed, that those are not different, I find to be just a jewel, a treasure of a teaching. So to help others so we will not have a regretful life is like a very down-to-earth, basic,

[29:12]

You know, sometimes I go to a memorial service and people are speaking about the deceased. And often the ones, the speeches that I'm mostly moved by are when they talk about someone who was kind, loved other people, was, you know, available for others. And that kind of person, I feel, And I remember, too, just how they were, how they were when they saw me. They were happy to see me, but not just me, everyone. You know, that kind of, you know, to have regrets. And often at a memorial service, maybe this has happened to you, too. One thinks, well, what will they say at mine, you know? Was I? there for people? Did my bodhisattvas that I practiced, was it real?

[30:25]

Meaning, I can't tell. So, you know, our tendencies to be looking out for ourselves and This not to have a regretful life, I found it. I didn't feel it was like this is all about me and selfishness. It was like almost like bottom line, baseline. And as we know, regrets. Are very hard to integrate, you know. So because of the teaching of self and other are non-dual, to help ourselves is to help others. To help others does help ourselves, coming from this inmost heart.

[31:30]

And living our life thoroughly and completely, without reference to whether this is helping other people or not, is a help to people. which is being yourself. So when we sit, can we let go of the idea of, just like the Fukan Zazengi, Universal Admonitions for Zazen says, Cast aside all involvements. Cease all affairs. Do not think good or bad. Do not administer pros and cons. Do not gauge thoughts and views. Which is about, you know, trying to hit some mark, you know?

[32:36]

Sincerely, just come to your seat. Way-seeking mind, which is grounded. It's grounded. It's not like, ooh, what can I get? And how can I get better? And how can I change and be different and finally get some respect around here? To let it all go and sit. Just sit. whether we hit the mark or not, if there's not any difference. This is such a strong teaching. And I think the last thing Suzuki Roshi says in this lecture is, before we attain enlightenment, perfect enlightenment, just to seek for enlightenment is a great help for others.

[34:07]

So your practice, your practice of taking up the Bodhisattva way, the precepts, taking up the practice of zazen, is helpful for everyone. And then he says, even though you haven't attained enlightenment, to try to attain enlightenment is good enough to help others. So this try is not gaining idea, it's throwing our lives, completely into the practice of the way and our bodhisattva way, way-seeking mind, completely. To try to attain enlightenment is good enough to help others.

[35:14]

If one person, this is his last line, and this follows the right way, that one person will help hundreds of people. So. Thank you very much for your attention and for your practice. And let's put our masks on to dedicate the merit of our time here together. This chat that we do at the end, there's positive energy that is generated by your concentrated listening and sitting.

[36:23]

My bringing up words of my effort to bring up the Dharma. And that creates positive energy. And instead of keeping that for ourselves, we, and this happens at a ceremony, at service time, after a lecture, after a class, we give it away. So we're not trying to hold that. We give it to all beings. So that's what we'll do now. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[37:17]

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