This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. So welcome. As Matt said, my name is Nancy Petron, and I am the head of practice here at City Center. My Dharma name is Ho Ren Raika, Dharma Forest, Bringing Harmony. And I would, my pronouns are she and her. And I'm speaking from San Francisco Zen Center's city center. And I would like to acknowledge that city center is located on the unceded ancestral homeland of the Ramaytush Ohlone peoples.

[01:01]

And that as the original stewards of this land, the Ramaytush Ohlone understood the interconnectedness of all things and maintained harmony with nature on these lands for millennia. I'd also like to honor the Ramaytush Ohlone peoples for their enduring commitment to living in harmony with Warrep or Mother Earth. So I'd like us to take a moment and arrive to come into this felt experience of this body, to take a deep breath, to let your attention drop inward, to feel whatever it is you might be sitting on a cushion in a chair, perhaps a wheelchair, and let yourself feel your weight, what it is in this moment to be in this earthly body.

[02:23]

So here at Zen Center, at City Center, we just wrapped up a three-month period of study, a traditional 90-day on-go. And during that time, Abbots, David Zimmerman, and Ed Sadizam led us in a focused study on the classic Bodhisattva archetypes. And there was a... focus on the traditional archetypes and also how these archetypes come alive in these current times, how the study of these archetypes of taking up these bodhisattvas, how they inspire us when we come off our cushion and the way that we act in the world. Many of you have participated in the classes and in the Dharma talks.

[03:35]

And most recently, last week, we had a seven-day seshin. So the seven-day seshin at the beginning of December is called rohatsu seshin. And rohatsu seshin is, I would almost call it a reenactment of... the days leading up to and the day that Buddha attained enlightenment. And the story goes that on the day that Buddha became enlightened, on the day that Gautama Siddhartha became the Buddha, that it was after seven days of sitting on the ground under the Bodhi tree and at the moment of most doubt, almost of greatest questioning, that in that moment, the human, Siddhartha's impulse was to put his hand down and to touch the ground.

[04:46]

And the story goes that in that moment, when Siddhartha touched the ground, that the earth actually spoke. to him and said, I bear witness to you. So this is the earth witness posture. Sometimes you see a Buddha with one hand touching the ground and the other, the left hand open, inviting, almost as if reflecting the sky, earth and sky. So last week, many of us were sitting for seven days And in the reenactment, there's also the truth of that moment and the truth that came to the Buddha in that moment. The realization that the Buddha and all living beings are awakened.

[05:53]

So it was then... the Buddha's charge to convey this message. Once the Buddha had seen the truth of the irrefutable interconnectedness of all beings, how to teach this, how to teach this Dharma, this truth. So in the session last week, Abbots, David, and Ed, presented the teaching of Zen Master Dogen's fascicle, Bodai Sata Shishoho. This fascicle was written by our ancestor Dogen in Japan in 1243, so quite a long time ago. The English translation of of bodhisatta shishoho is the bodhisattvas' four methods of guidance, or another translation, four ways bodhisattvas embrace living beings.

[07:10]

So in Mahayana Buddhism, it is the belief that we are all bodhisattvas, that we are all committed to ending suffering our own and all beings suffering and in so realizing our true and natural state of oneness. So Dogen's guide to embracing all beings is therefore a guide for all of us. So how do we meet all beings so that we together awaken? How do we together free each other from suffering and injustice. So the four methods that Dogen outlined were giving, kind speech, beneficial action, and identity action, or acting from a shared goal, or acting from knowing that we are in the same boat.

[08:24]

and acting on each other's behalf. So it is through giving, kind speech, beneficial action, and through acting with this awareness of our shared rather than opposing goals that the bodhisattva, that we embrace each other. Dogen says that of these four actions, that actually giving, Underlies it all. So fundamentally, Dogen is saying that giving is the way that we awaken together. If you're not familiar with Ehe Dogen's writings, I would encourage you to explore them. Dogen, my experience of Dogen is... that I will be reading along and I think maybe something is starting to make some sense and then it's completely flipped.

[09:31]

There's a play on words. Something that I thought that I was understanding completely slips away from me. So I'd like to read from the fascicle and I invite you to allow the words to just come to you. Perhaps there might be something that grabs you as it did me last week. So this is from the Bodhisattva's Four Methods of Guidance and the section on giving. When you leave the way to the way, you attain the way. At the time of attaining the way, the way is always left to the way. When treasure is left just as treasure, treasure. He goes on.

[10:49]

for this and other lifetimes. Give your valuables, even a penny or a blade of grass. It will be a wholesome root for this and other lifetimes. The truth can turn into valuables. Valuables can turn into the truth. This is all because the giver is willing. And then later on, I've plucked these out a little bit, so... to leave flowers to the wind, to leave birds to the season are also acts of giving. Not only should you make an effort to give, but also be mindful of every opportunity to give. You are born into this present life because of the merit of giving in the past. And then later on, Even when you give

[12:20]

should be started by giving. For this reason, giving is the first of the six paramitas. Mind is beyond measure. Things given are beyond measure. Moreover, in giving, mind transforms the gift and the gift transforms the mind. So there's a lot of richness there. Abbott, David, and Ed actually brought us through the fascicle line by line. As I said, we had seven days together and that was seven Dharma talks. So I've actually taken one line that struck me last week and really keeps turning with me. And I'd like to explore that with you tonight. That line is, you give yourself to yourself. and give others to others.

[13:21]

So what is this? And how does one give themself to themself? How do I give myself back to me? With these teachings of Dogen, with Dharma teachings, to really let the teaching speak to oneself as personally as it rings true. It's a way that is suggested to study the Dharma. And I really appreciate this way, taking the phrase into your practice, into your heart, onto the cushion, into your day-to-day interactions. So I believe that this practice of giving yourself to yourself and others to others is actually what we're practicing in Zazen. And then it's what we're practicing in action, in our interactions.

[14:26]

So through sitting, moment after moment, we return to our breath. We see thoughts arise. We let the thoughts go. So this is a profound act of giving. This is a profound act of giving yourself back to yourself. not following the thought, actually letting that thought go. Most likely that thought is a very small version of whatever else there is that wants to be offered. So trusting something bigger, letting go of that thought. Returning to the breath, allowing something wider, vaster, expansive. So relaxing around the thought, relaxing around whatever story might be there. So this is the practice that I engage in on the cushion, or perhaps it's the practice that engages me.

[15:36]

So then off the cushion, can I relax around my story of who I tell myself I am? that I should have been better prepared going into that meeting, that I should have done this, or that I should be different in this way. It's very subtle, and we are doing this to ourselves all the time. So can I recognize when I'm doing that? Can I recognize the struggle? And can I meet that struggle with kindness? I believe that's giving myself back to myself. I also think that this is what Suzuki Roshi was saying when he was asked by a student, what is Zen? And Suzuki Roshi replied, when you are you, Zen is Zen. So the second part of the teaching, you give yourself to yourself and you give others,

[16:45]

I believe Dogen's describing this same giving of returning, of relaxing, releasing. In some way, we give others to, in the same way we give others to others. We see their struggles. We understand the causes and conditions that give rise to their struggles, perhaps. We arouse curiosity. Perhaps our story of who they are is not true at all. And then Dogen also says, I'm sorry, even the willing is a giving. So am I willing to give? Dogen says, this is all because the giver is willing. So then the question is, am I willing?

[17:48]

Am I willing to let go of my thought, of my story, of who I am, of who you are? So I've heard senior Dharma teacher Paul Howler speak of this expression. It's an Irish expression, to give over. And I can hear Paul's slight Irish expression accent. And I hear my brother-in-law, Jim, he has a strong Irish accent. He's very Irish, but I can hear him give over, you know, and there's a certain cajoling, a certain, oh, don't take yourself too seriously. And to be submerged in a culture with this language, you know, I think that it really is supportive. It makes the allowing. seeing oneself able to take it more lightly.

[18:51]

But it's the stories that I hold more dearly, those are the ones that go deeper. When these stories, the stories that I really hold onto, when these are threatened, It's very unsettling. It's very uncomfortable. And right there is the opportunity to study fear. So what is the fear around this story being challenged? Why is it not so easy to let go of this particular story? And again, Dogen's words, This is because the giver is willing. So I realize there's an invitation there, an invitation to look, to see what is the fear right there.

[20:08]

What is the fear of letting go of the story of what you did to me? 20 years ago, you know, what would happen if I actually returned to that story, gave that story back to itself. So it's curious that in an attempt to protect our hearts, ironically, we end up closing our hearts. So sometimes it feels as though we're closing our hearts to one person. And I wonder, I wonder, is it possible to have an open heart when my heart is closed to just one or two? I wonder for us to explore.

[21:15]

I also would say that in my experience of exploring these stories that I have learned to go gently and perhaps to explore the edges. These stories go deep. I was in a practice discussion with Dharma teacher Kathy Fisher. This is a few years ago now. And I was talking with Kathy about a difficult relationship with someone who's very close to me. And in the practice discussion, I was talking about the situation. and how it had gotten to the state that it was in, and how I was practicing with it.

[22:21]

And her response surprised me. She said, oh, but we don't give up on beings. And I wasn't sure, well, I was sure, or I thought I knew. We, was she talking about she and me, as in bodhisattvas, as practitioners? as those committed to ending theirs and others' suffering. So what I'd been describing to Kathy, I realized when she said that, wasn't really how I had been practicing with this relationship, but rather how I had closed my heart to this person. So when she said, oh, but we don't give up on beings, I realized that she had given it back to me. She had actually, I don't want to say invited because I actually felt some kind of duty in that moment.

[23:32]

I had felt tasked with something that I had come to a very kind of comfortable, but actually not very comfortable place. in which to hold that relationship. So bodhisattvas do not give up on beings. A friend of mine who checks in with me from time to time over many, many, many years, this has been going on, has a very difficult relationship with one of her adult children. And I'll get a call that says, well, she's not talking to me again. Or, well, I'm not invited to the holidays. And then months will pass and maybe there's a call that says, we just had a very sweet exchange.

[24:34]

So this one day she calls me and she says, I've had a breakthrough. that I may not figure this out in this lifetime. And she was so relieved with that insight. But she was not saying that she was giving up on that karmic tangle. She actually had just extended out the timeline on it. So she wasn't giving up on it. She was actually committing to figuring out that karmic tangle. If not in this lifetime, then in the next or in the next. So bodhisattvas are in it for the long haul. And sometimes these things happen.

[25:42]

take lifetimes. So how do we pace ourself with not giving up, staying engaged and exploring and seeing what is there, committing to the awakening of the suffering in that relationship, and yet giving it what it needs? So Zazen, meditation, the cushion, is a safe place to explore these stories, to explore these relationships, to give others back to others in a way that isn't so threatening, even though it might still feel that way. So to study the dis-ease in the body and to bring kindness into our practice, to give ourself back to ourself with this breath over and over, this trust in ourself that we give back to ourself as we sit on the cushion day after day, committing over and over.

[27:14]

to being present with what is available in the moment. So I wanted to mention this. A wise woman I know once told me of a teaching that she had received. And she said, it's important to find the distance at which you can maintain an open heart with someone. So again, this isn't about the distance. It's not about distancing. It's actually about being able to stay open, to be able to keep an open heart to every situation, giving others back to others, giving ourself back to ourself. In his teaching last summer, Dogen scholar and Dharma teacher, Shohaku Okamura Roshi, suggested that he said that bodhisattvas are conflicted beings, he said, because bodhisattvas are on one hand working towards enlightenment.

[28:41]

in order to relieve all suffering and at the same time committed to returning to this realm of suffering. And I think that living in a capitalist society, I think it even further complicates the Bodhisattva's natural impulse to live in harmony. with all beings. As Reverend Angel Kyoto Williams said, the bounds of what is okay to feel has already been determined. If you feel outside of those bounds, you will disrupt the social order. So what are the stories that I tell myself?

[29:45]

What are the stories that I've inherited in order to be able to function in this society day to day? Can I let my heart break for the homeless person who sleeps 100 yards from my bed? Every night we hear him out there and commit to understanding the causes and conditions of how we are living this way. What can be given? And what moves me to take up the exploration of something very uncomfortable This is all because the giver is willing, Dogen says.

[30:50]

Last Sunday in the New York Times, there was a fascinating piece called The Social Life of Forests. And it's beautiful. It's available online. I highly recommend it. The piece focuses on the work of... Suzanne Simard and she is a professor of forest ecology at the University of British Columbia. Simard grew up with her siblings free to roam in the old growth forests in Canada. Her uncle and her grandfather were horse loggers so they would take very few trees by horse and trailer cart from the old growth forests. But she spent a lot of time in them.

[31:53]

And she even talks about how she used to like to eat dirt. She liked the taste of dirt. I've actually heard a lot of kids say that. But she describes how truly amazing it was to be in these forests. And if you... spent time, any time in old growth forests, you know that it's just magical. So for decades, Simard worked around something that she had observed in the forest and her guiding question and her unorthodox methods of research actually were mocked and described as woohoo and she was not accepted in her field for a very long time. Now her work is groundbreaking and that just thrills me. But her question was, why would trees of different species help one another at their own expense?

[33:01]

At their own expense. So by analyzing the DNA in root tips and tracing the movement of molecules through underground conduits, Simard has discovered that fungal or mycorrhizal threads link nearly every tree in a forest, even trees of different species. carbon, water, nutrients, alarm signals, and hormones can pass from tree to tree in these subterranean conduits. Trees used to be thought of as individual trees, and she's completely, over her decades of devotion and just knowing that that was not true,

[34:04]

has come through now with just being completely acknowledged in this field. So resources tend to flow from the oldest and biggest trees to the youngest and smallest. And Simard identified what she calls mother trees, which are the largest trees in the forest. And they act as central hubs for this vast, below ground network. So the research has demonstrated, it shows the complexity and the symbiotic networks of our forests. And Simard says that these networks mimic our neural networks and our social networks. So I find this absolutely thrilling.

[35:08]

And I think that we know this, and I just feel as though we're removed from it. Siddhartha Gautama, in his moment of most need, of most questioning, His instinct was to put his hand down and touch the earth. And the earth was there and responded. I bear witness. I am here with you. So it's Gautama touching the earth. It's the earth touching Gautama, the human being. realizes the interconnectedness of all beings. And that's the mudra.

[36:14]

So the root of the word for human is humus. And humus is the organic component of soil, which is decomposed, leaves and other plant material, which had been decomposed by soil microorganisms. And the ancient sages were well aware of this. I believe this is probably why the Dalai Lama is so keen on science, because if there's science to back it, then people will believe it, but Buddhism and ancient teachings have known this. This is what the teachings are all based on. This truth of complete interconnectedness, no separation. So I don't even think there was probably an Aboriginal language, a word for human, you know, it would indicate a cutting off or separation.

[37:28]

I imagine that there wasn't one in their worldview, in their experience. So Simard's research showed that species helping one another did not do so at their own expense. Actually, to the contrary, that it becomes a super organism. when resources are flowing freely in the forest. And the entire forest depends on the contribution and the vitality of each being, down to the tiniest soil microbe. I believe that we are not only like the trees, but I think that we are each other's root systems.

[38:31]

And when I give myself to myself, when I give you to you, this is not at the cost of anyone. This is us coming into our natural balance, our natural harmony. So How are we connected? It's mysterious. For mothers who have nursed a child, you know that the baby cries and the response comes. Breasts fill with milk. It's not a thought. It is how we are so completely tuned to each other. As a child grows, the milk... of the mother changes to meet that child's need. If the child is ill, the milk composition changes to meet the child's need.

[39:34]

I find it just fascinating. We see someone in danger, a car accident. Our first response is to run over and to help. No thought. So we, I believe, are exactly like the trees. And We are conflicted beings. We can't see it, and yet we know it. We feel it. So sometimes we do need to stay at the edges, perhaps, of the forest in order to keep our hearts open. And sometimes that is the relationship and that is the time that it takes. A friend of mine, Brad Byron was the development director at Zen Hospice Project for a period of time.

[40:40]

And I was working in development here at Zen Center and we met to talk about fundraising and the people who support Zen Center and philanthropy And I was asking him about kind of the fear of having that conversation, asking someone for a donation. And he said he truly believed that people's fear was that they were afraid that they were just going to give it all away. That really surprised me when he said it. But I think this is our impulse. We see a need. We want to give. And yet, what is it to live in this day and age without safety nets or so we think? What is the fear? What is it that stops us? Rebecca Solnit, author, historian, activist, Buddhist, said in an article this week, the measure of our humanity is our ability

[41:53]

to care for people unlike us, who are not in our clique, our gang, our church, on our team, our side, who are not our color or our kin, and who are not near to us in spatial distance as well as in affinity. And she talks about the war that's been going on, the war against empathy. She says the war against empathy is always a war against the imagination, against the expansion of feeling to care about others. expansion through science and natural history, direct engagement, to understand the systems, she says, to understand the systems that connect us, our inseparability from other species, our inseparability from climate,

[43:19]

and the environment. So I hear Rebecca, I hear her challenge. I hear the challenge of these times. What is the measure of my humanity in this moment? How am I giving others their humanity I believe the gift of this practice is getting closer and closer to seeing the moment that I separate myself from the other. When that moment of fear arises, that slight dis-ease and I have a story of who you are and who I am. And in that moment,

[44:23]

I'm lost. Our inseparability. So vowing to stay close to my heart, vowing to stay close to the disease, to get back on the cushion every day. These are my vows of giving myself to myself, giving others to others. And I do imagine, you know, what would it be to be on the streets together, to go through life together as though it was an old growth forest, this super organism, knowing that we are completely connected and that resources flow where they're needed. Living in that openness, in that safety, in that non-fear, non-greed.

[45:33]

Can I give it all away? I don't know. But I can look at what's holding me back. So I'd like to end. with a poem from an Andalusian Spanish poet, Rafael Alberti. He died years ago. He lived in exile a good part of his life. He was from Cadiz, Spain. I love Cadiz, Spain. So he was born there and he actually returned there after Franco died. And he was given an honorary award of the favorite son when he returned to Spain. And the poem says, if in your country, all hope is lost in the long heat

[46:53]

The snows in my country will help you to get back. So thank you for being here. Thank you for your practice, for your intention. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

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