This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. So today is a beginning. Every day is a beginning. Every moment is a beginning, but sometimes there are more. So today we're having a one-day sitting here, and it's the beginning of a practice period, which is a time people take in their life to create more space to practice together. And we do this in different ways here. Some people are already living in the building, working outside or working for Zen Center, so-called inside, but kind of take extra time and create space to participate in the practice period.

[01:17]

Some people have made a big change, moved in for the duration of the 10 weeks of the practice period, so they left their lives and came here, moved into the building and participate. Some fully by working inside, or some still have their jobs, but they live here, or their school, but they live here. And then another possibility and way people participate is by... custom fit the practice period to their lives. So they sign up for particular things during the practice period, but they live at home, they continue with their work, but they still take time to come here for certain events in those 10 weeks. And even you all that are here can participate in the practice period.

[02:22]

by just... All it takes is actually the thought, wanting to, and then looking how you can do it. So you can, for example, think, oh, I would like to participate, and all I can do is take 15 minutes every morning to think about... My intention, the intention of the practice period, which I will talk about in a moment. And then carry that into your day. And take another five minutes in the evening before you go to sleep to see, how did it go this day? Did I remember? Did I not remember? And then the next morning, you reaffirm your intention. And so you are participating in a practice period. where you place something, give something a little more energy and a little more focus and a special place in your daily life as it is.

[03:35]

You don't have to change your whole life, but those 15 minutes will start to change your whole life without you having to do more. So I want to tell you the theme of the practice period, which is living in harmony with all beings, taking refuge in Sangha. And I will talk a little bit more about that in a moment. First, however, I would like to know who is here, are there people here that are here for the very first time? Welcome very much. Please, I hope this is going to be inspiring and encouraging for you and talk to us afterwards, which actually you can't today so much.

[04:38]

Sorry, because we go back to the Zendo, but I will leave a little bit of time at the end for questions you have or you can come back another Saturday and then we're available afterwards with questions and answers and we're here it's also beginning because this is going to be the first practice period I'm going to lead so that kind of makes it more prominent I've participated in many but it's the first one I'm kind of in charge of and also it's going to be the first practice period for the person who is going to be the head monk which is Senju Ursuline Manuel and she her beginning is being ill. So not maybe as planned, not as expected, and here it is. So that's not less good than not being ill.

[05:42]

That's as good as the beginning, as one full of energy and sitting in the Zendo. It's another kind, it's just another kind of beginning. So the poem I want to read to you is from Maya Angelou, and it's called A Brave and Startling Truth. We, this people on a small and lonely planet traveling through casual space, past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns, to a destination where all signs tell us it is possible and imperative that we learn a brave and startling truth. And when we come to it, to the day of peacemaking, when we release our fingers from fists of hostility and allow the pure air to cool our palms.

[06:55]

We, this people on this small and drifting planet, whose hands can strike with such abandon that in a twinkling life is sapped from the living, yet those same hands can touch with such healing, irresistible tenderness that the haughty neck is happy to bow, and the proud back is glad to bend. Out of such chaos, of such contradiction, we learn that we are neither devils nor divines when we come to it. We, this people, on this wayward, floating body, created on this earth, of this earth, have the power to fashion for this earth a climate where every man and every woman can live freely without sanctimonious piety, without crippling fear when we come to it.

[08:19]

We must confess... that we are the possible, we are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world that is when and only when we come to it. So living in harmony with all beings is a big task. Taking refuge in Sangha. I think to really what really helps us is to understand the three marks or the three

[09:27]

I say the three marks of reality which are I printed it and left it in the printer impermanence all compounded phenomena come together by innumerable conditions. So each of us is actually a compounded phenomenon. We are created by innumerable causes and conditions that keep impacting us and keep continuously changing and changing us. The second one is... Suffering.

[10:30]

Suffering means because everything is changing, because our minds can create expectations, because we are so prone to create fixed views, thinking that that will help us navigate this actually completely unpredictable, uncontrollable life, we will be disappointed, we feel disappointed, pain we will get sick we all are going to die even though it's very hard to believe you know we know it in our heads but actually to live with the reality is a whole different thing and many of us start to notice that when we get older because it becomes you know just statistically it becomes more apparent you know And we see our parents die and we start seeing our friends die. And so it's much harder to not notice that, oh my God, this is going to be me one day.

[11:35]

I'm one of those that was discovering that. You know, I loved to work in an old people's home and in a nursing home when I was in my 40s and 50s. It's much harder now. much closer now. So it's a whole other impact. And the third one is that there is no independently existing self. Just in nothing, which is part of that first mark of existence of reality that everything is continuously changing. We just celebrated equinox. So there was one moment when there was a complete balance between dark and light, and already that's past. It's already not there anymore, that equi-pose.

[12:40]

And everything is like that. So that's what we, I think, need to understand that because it helps us to also understand that there's not one thing any one of us can do by ourselves. We all continuously are dependent on everything else and need everybody and everything. We can't eat, we can't sleep, we can't We can't dress ourselves. We can't have a house without innumerable, innumerable things coming together to make this work. Somebody has to... plant the seeds, the sun has to, and the rain has to be right, and the climate has to right for the cotton or whatever it is to grow, and then there needs to be somebody harvesting it, and now there are all these machines, so somebody needs to make those so they can harvest with them.

[13:50]

Then we need maintenance people, we need people that sew the ropes, and so on. But we forget that. We so often think, you know, I'm by myself, and and I have to look out for myself, and I have to do it myself. So we are completely interconnected and interdependent. And that is what we all share. There was once a cartoon that showed a boat, and the boat was kind of sinking on one side, so it was... you know, in the water, and the other end was off out of the water. And at the end, that was filling with water. There were people with, you know, like Asian people with those straw hats, those triangular straw hats, kind of trying to empty out, you know, with buckets, the boat.

[14:52]

And on the other side were people in suits and, you know, well-dressed, and the caption was... we are so happy that this is not happening to us. And that's such a strong image for me, how we are in the same boat and can completely not see it. Completely think, oh, this is far away, I'm so glad this is not happening to us. But it actually is happening. Everything is happening to all of us, whether it's staring us in the face and we see it or not. So, all of our life, from the very beginning we are born, we are living in communities.

[15:54]

First, it may be the community of a single parent and you, or a family and you with siblings, or an extended family. Then we are in community when we go to school. Even in the school bus, we are a community. Or in the shared car share, we are a community. On the road, on the highway, freeway, We are a community. In BART, in Mooney, we are always with others. And when we start looking at those as communities, my travel community, my work community, my living family community, wherever you are, my sports community, my circle of friends, helps us to see that actually all beings are the community we're living and that includes all animals and the whole earth and the whole universe.

[17:12]

So what is the difference between a community and a Sangha? What makes a community a Sangha? The term sangha came about and was originally just used for the monks and nuns that practiced together. So it was a spiritual practice that they shared and that created, was called a sangha. But we can actually create sangha in the communities we live, we just happen to live in. And we can do that actually, I want to say, by ourselves. Because the interesting thing is, even though we can't do anything by ourselves, each one of us has by themselves to make the effort.

[18:13]

So, Reb Anderson once said, you know, when he gave a talk, you are 100% responsible for everything everything that's happening in the world. And you could just feel like the energy shifting in the room. Really? No. And then he was quiet for a while. So we all sat there kind of reeling a little bit with that statement. And then he said, and every single other human being is 100% responsible. for everything that's happening in the world. So again, that we share with everybody, but each one of us has to do their own part in it. So I and you can create Sangha.

[19:15]

And what it takes is an intention an effort to implement that intention, to manifest that intention, to make it happen. So, for example, in a family, if you have a family with kids and you all come together for dinner, you could, for example, say at the beginning of the meal, let's just be quiet for three minutes. And in those three minutes, look at what the food is, what we have on our plates. And that we actually can sit down and eat. And that somebody has prepared that food. And somebody has harvested that food. So you can do whatever you feel works as a starting point.

[20:19]

But if you all take three minutes and are quiet at the table, what in addition to that happens is, you know, we all come from different places, from different experiences, from what happened during the day and how tired we are. And usually what happens, we immediately start talking. Everybody comes in with their level of energy and starts talking. And often... There are big misunderstandings and trouble coming from that. If we are three minutes quiet with the people in the same room, our bodies start syncing up with each other because they pick up the vibrations of the other bodies. And there's something that harmonizes by itself. that actually can't happen when we immediately start talking.

[21:21]

There's a picking up and thinking in and with other energies that are in the room. And when then you start talking, you start from a shared energetic field or in a shared energetic field. So that would create a sangha in your family. You can create for yourself a sangha of traveling on the freeway by having the intention to travel in a friendly way, to keep catching yourself when you start being competitive about space and speed and why is this guy or this woman still in the left lane? driving so slow or, you know, to kind of catch yourself. So when you have that intention, you also start learning about yourself, how often a habitual way of responding comes in.

[22:24]

But you can always return and remember what your intention is. And that creates suddenly traveling in your car to your work becomes actually a refuge and a sangha and a practice which, helps you be more peaceful. And I'm sure you can all come up with ideas what to do at the workplace for yourself to keep remembering that you depend on all the other workers, that they all help you maintain that job and that they... that you're all in it together. So also little rituals create sangha, like that with the family, if they are agreeing or, for example, saying Sunday afternoon, we're just not turning on any virtual devices, no computers, no TV, no games, no...

[23:37]

And maybe first you're at the loss, what to do with each other, you know, because everybody has been used to just disappearing those things. So there are many little things you can start to allow other more shared, actually more doorways into realizing how shared our life is and to appreciate that. So this practice period, we are going to look at different ways how to live in harmony with each other. It's not so easy. Even in an intentional community like this one, where everybody moves in because they want to practice the way we practice or to find out if that's for them a way of being,

[24:52]

We bump into each other all the time and we can't get away from each other. We're crossing paths in the bathroom, sitting side by side in the zendo, in the dining room, in getting the food, walking through the hallways. So there's no getting away from it. And we each... Each month we repeat our intention to live according to the precepts and we say we take refuge in Buddha, refuge in Dharma, and refuge in Sangha. And with each of those refuges we also say a verse. And the one in taking refuge in Sangha is bringing harmony to everyone free from hindrance. So every month we say we're going to do that. So this practice period, this 10 weeks, we are going to look a little bit more specifically what helps us in that and what makes it harder, what gets in the way, what are the hindrances and obstacles, and what helps us to actually manifest and embody that intention we all have.

[26:13]

I think if... I would be surprised if anybody in here would vote for disharmony and war. I think everybody, deep in their heart, wishes for peace. And for peace for themselves and for peace of everybody. And peace for everybody starts... with peace in ourselves because also you could say even inside of you there are so many aspects that how do we create harmony between all these maybe contradictions we have in ourselves so that's also a little sangha just inside you know we can practice with and you know we are all you could say we all have what is it called personality multiple personalities because when I was With my beloved friend, I'm different than when I'm with a person that I think is my enemy.

[27:20]

So I have that problem. Other things come forward. So how do I create an environment where there's harmony possible? So I want to share one of the practices that Thich Nhat Hanh so beautifully says because part of our way of getting into disharmony is that we talk so much. We talk so much and even if we don't talk, we keep talking in our head. So he calls... a mindfulness training. And the one about loving speech and deep listening goes, aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others.

[28:28]

I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening in order to relieve suffering and to promote reconciliation and peace in myself and among other people, ethnic and religious groups and nations. Right here, it's really wonderful because he doesn't stop with just the person. He goes to the nations, to the whole world, because that's what it starts in your heart, in our heart. I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy, and hope. So to just take that, speaking truthfully in a way that inspires confidence, joy, and hope.

[29:36]

If you would try those three things, or just one a day, it would change us radically. Because how do you give feedback to a not-quite-up-to-par performance in a way that inspires confidence, joy, and hope and doesn't crush the person or make them less confident or insecure or afraid? How do you do that? When anger... is manifesting in me, I am determined not to speak. Zip it. Say, I can't talk to you right now. It's not going to go well. Can we do it later? Can we pick it up later? I am determined not to speak.

[30:37]

I am determined, there's other things and I'm just picking out a few, I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to utter words that can cause division or discord. So that would just cut through all the gossiping. Did you hear that? You know. So It takes an intention, it takes an effort, and it takes a continuous effort because in general we have tendencies to not do that, particularly when we are afraid or feel hurt. We forget about those immediately and we feel justified. And whenever we feel justified, it's actually a nice red flag and that will be something also to just don't talk for a while.

[31:49]

Just sit with it until you calm down and then look at it again. And then look at it, try to look at it from the other person's point of view. So it's a big field. We're all in it. Every effort, any one of you, Us does affect the whole universe all the time. And we can always pick it up again. When we fail, don't spend a lot of time thinking about that. Just reaffirm your intention and move forward. Forgive yourself or forgive the other person and just move, try again. Give everybody another chance, including yourself. It didn't bring a watch. Is it already? 10, 2, 11. Okay.

[32:52]

So I will read the poem again, and then there's a little bit time for questions and answers. A brave and startling truth. We, this people, on a small and lonely planet, traveling through casual space, past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns, to a destination where all signs tell us it is possible and imperative that we learn a brave and startling truth. And when we come to it, to the day of peacemaking, when we release our fingers from fists of hostility and allow the pure air to cool our palms. We, this people, on this small and drifting planet, whose hands can strike with such abandon that in a twinkling life is sapped from the living, yet those same hands can touch with such healing

[34:09]

irresistible tenderness, that the haughty neck is happy to bow and the proud back is glad to bend. Out of such chaos, of such contradiction, we learn that we are neither devils nor divines when we come to it. We, this people, on this wayward, floating body, created on this earth, of this earth have the power to fashion for this earth a climate where every man and every woman can live freely without sanctimonious piety, without crippling fear when we come to it. We must confess that we are the possible people We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world that is when and only when we come to it.

[35:26]

So since we will be returning back to the meditation hall and there won't be cookies and no question and answer. Today I would like to open if anybody wants to share something or has a question. Yes, please. At the risk of talking too soon, as you mentioned, is the human experience also the capacity for spontaneity and exuberance? Yes. How does this begin? And cannot harmony, sometimes too much harmony gets boring. Okay, so one thing I want to say, I think life creates enough, through its constant changing, creates actually enough these harmonies in these transition places that we don't have to create them for it not to be boring. I think what it's really interesting might be for you to look when you're bored that that might not be harmony, that might be something different.

[36:49]

And there's plenty of space for spontaneity. And the more actually Sometimes it's just a transitional time where we maybe speak less to pay attention to what we habitually do. Because what is really wonderful to see, and you see it in children, before they are completely conditioned, they're very spontaneous and very exuberant, and we love it. They speak to our hearts. Only in the areas we have kind of hindered ourselves or been hindered, we can't stand the kids. When they do what we have never been allowed to do, then we get into trouble. But otherwise, if you see a little baby and how spontaneous it is and how changing, so there's plenty of space for that. And you can always look at what happens afterwards.

[37:53]

Was that creating more warmth, more tolerance, more kindness, or was it creating division. So you get always feedback. Okay? Yes? You said there is no cell. So who are you telling to sip it if there's a negative influence in your environment? You don't tell anybody to sip. Only yourself. Right. The cell doesn't exist. It does. It does. See, Buddha didn't say, he refused to say there is or there isn't. It's just not the way we think it is. We think it's something fixed. We have a whole mechanism that keeps chattering away to reconfirm who I am, who I am, who I am, and every new experience gets kind of wriggled until it fits in there, and that's like a fixed idea.

[38:59]

You are existing. You're not here. I can't just walk through you, even though you exist with more space than matter. But we would bump into each other if I tried to walk through you. So you do exist, but we do not exist in this way we think, in this permanent, fixed, same way. You are always changing. It's just sharing the way I think about it. If there's an unloving environment that I'm in, if I bring that to the attention by saying this is more of a reflection of you than of me, then often that balances itself out. That works for me. When you say that to the person or when you look at it that way? When I look at it that way and when I share that with that person as well, this is a reflection of you, that child or gossip or something. rather than it myself, then this is often balancing itself out.

[40:04]

Yes, if you can say it in a way that it helps the person to become aware that's not accusatory, then that's very helpful. Yes, we are always, feedback can be very helpful and feedback can be very destructive. It's how, it's not it, it's how do we do it, is the thing. Thank you. Anybody else? Yes. So, I'm sorry to ask the same question that I feel like I was asked. Go ahead. There's, I think, I heard you saying that there's, if there's discord, we shouldn't speak to past discord. And in my experience, there's discord that arises or there's disagreement. And there are times when it's important to speak.

[41:07]

So what is that? How do we know? How can I know? How to speak, how to say I won't speak. We learn by experimenting. We can't know ahead of time. We can never know ahead of time how someone else is going to receive what we say. But we can look, how do I address the discord? Where am I coming from? What energy do I bring to it? Is it the energy that actually belongs to this event? Or is it also a whole back block of pent-up energy around the same event that gets triggered and that kind of use kind of funnels itself into this event and it's overcharged?

[42:10]

And we can feel that in our bodies. You know, when the heat rises and when the tension rises and we feel, I now have to say something, then it's... Most often a sign that there is a whole lot of other stuff coming in there, and if it's in there and gets in there, the other person can't hear it. It's too charged, and it doesn't belong to that event. So it's not like we should never speak up or we should not step in when there is something terrible happening, we do have to speak up. Do we speak up by condemning the person or by saying, you know, I just have to step into it. And, you know, this is not going in a good direction. Or I'm having this difficulty. Can we find a time to talk about it?

[43:12]

So, and the main thing is you do what you do, you know, and then keep looking Did it actually achieve what you wanted to achieve or didn't it? And we learn because then we think, oh, next time I do it this way. Oh, I was too quick or I did go on too long or I don't know. We always get feedback. If we look, we always get everything speaks back to us. Thank you. Yes. So I'm checking with that. So what I'm hearing is different tactics. So there's a conversation we had that I thought there was an agreement and it wasn't followed. In the moment of the anger of the broken agreement, probably not real skillful to say.

[44:17]

But in the realm of having a conversation for my own development of holding another to account for the mutual benefit of both of us. Well, in here, there's a practice available there. And it's not skillful when there's that moment of, you know, probably not really useful. But in that pause, and allowing that pause, or allowing that time, then there's a kind there's a practice for finding a client for a dress that must still be there. Is that... Yes, and for example, the example you're using, you thought there was an agreement. So step one would be to go back and see if the other person thought there was an agreement too. Because we often think we're clear, you know, and we have understood each other. And then we find out that the other person has understood something completely different.

[45:25]

But if we don't check that out, if we don't go, oh, wow, she's not doing what I expected her to do, and then go, oh, she's, you know, and then get angry at her rather than first going to say, you know, I thought we had this agreement. What do you think we had? Did you have this agreement with me too? And then you sometimes completely surprised what the other person... heard and thought you had agreed upon. Then you can start over and say, no, let's make the agreement now. And often it's really helpful to write certain agreements down because memory is very flexible. We think I remember exactly, but actually scientifically they find out each time you're something that you... that happens that triggers a memory in you, the memory gets modified. So everything that reminds you of something modifies your memory. So your memory is actually, you can just forget about being sure about your memory.

[46:29]

Really. And it's a wonderful, actually, practice to just go, I remember, but I actually, you know, that's just my memory. I'm not sure if that really is what happened. So to So it's wonderful when it's important agreements to have them in writing that both agree because you can go back to, oh, that's what we said. Did we really say that? And then you can adapt it because maybe it's not fitting anymore to your life. Then you rewrite it. Wedding vows, for example, or something like that. Really important things, you know. You're welcome. That's the trap. When we are completely certain, we are in trouble. And when we know that, it becomes lightheartedly. You know, you can say, I'm so certain. And maybe it's not completely like that.

[47:31]

And it's not such a big problem. Then we can start finding out. But our time is up, right? Way up. So... Thank you so much for coming. Please come back if you feel inspired. And we are not always going straight back to the Zendo, so you'll get more chance to talk and connect with us. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[48:24]

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