This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning, everyone. Welcome to Hoshinji Temple, both our in-person temple and our online temple. acknowledging that we are sitting on unceded land of the Ramatush Ohlone. And I would like to thank Anna for the invitation to speak today, to Abbot David for taking care of Hoshinji Temple, to the staff and residents who tirelessly take care of this practice place, online, in person.

[01:01]

And to my teacher, Abbot Ed, thank you for your life of vow. My name is Nancy Petran. She, her. And my Dharma name is Horin Raika. I was given this name, Dharma Forest. Bringing Harmony from Linda Ruth Cutts, agent Linda Ruth Cutts, in 1997 at a bodhisattva ceremony at Green Gulch Farm. And my vow is to awaken with all beings to end all suffering. You may know that because I am wearing the robe of Buddha, as are many of you. My vow I articulate these days as walking through the world with an undefended heart.

[02:07]

What is it to have an undefended heart? My work is a Dharma friend, working with students, a teacher in the Suzuki Roshi lineage. My work is that of a mother and a wife. My husband is online. And a sister, a mother, as a doula, a birth and postpartum doula. And I'm saying all of this because I've been thinking about vow and the bodhisattva. Sattva Precepts Ceremony, which will happen this afternoon. It's all about taking this vow. And we all have vows. And most of us don't think about our vows so often, I think.

[03:14]

You know, you have vows which lead you in your life, which lead you through your days. You know, your vow brought you here this morning. although perhaps you didn't state it that way to yourself or acknowledge that in yourself, your own vows. So there are the means by which we take up our vows. And maybe that's our day-to-day work. And then there is the underlying vow. Can you get Can you explore that? And I think most of us in this room, I think that we're interested in that. So Shohaku Okamura Roshi said that ordinary people are pulled through life by their karma.

[04:28]

And bodhisattvas, awakening beings, those committed to awakening, are led by vow. So this karmic life, this human life, what we inherited from our parents, the messages that we received as very young children, either consciously passed to us, this is who you are. You are a part of this family, and this is who we are. Or unconsciously, what was passed to us unconsciously? What did we pick up? What were we sensitive to when we were young? So this karmic formations, the energy, this... this karmic stream, which, you know, which pushes us through our life, that we are rarely, we have these moments when we get glimpses of it, you know, or we may be working very specifically on our karma, you know, our habits, our patterns, these deep, deep patterns, you know, that oftentimes we cannot see alone, you know,

[05:57]

This is why we practice together. And then the life of vow, you know, taking up this vow, in this case, this bodhisattva vow, this impossible vow to save all beings, you know, and again and again. But this is the most important thing, you know, to end this suffering, to understand this suffering. as Dogen said, our ancestor Dogen, to quietly explore the farthest reaches of this conditioning, you know. And then the vow of awakening, the vow of being with whatever it is that arises in relationship with our karma, in relationship with all beings with each other. We don't awaken alone.

[07:00]

So it's not as simple, you know, as saying I'm now living this life afoul, you know, leaving all that karma behind. Actually, it's the communication, the conversation, the kindness The feeling, the love of our vow, which meets the karma when possible. I think all of us might agree that we're here today, sitting this way, taking up these forms. because of Suzuki Roshi's vow. So Suzuki Roshi's vow, his Bodhisattva vow, continues to live on. This Bodhisattva vow is a vow of many lifetimes.

[08:08]

And here we are, and we are inspired by Suzuki Roshi's vow. We're inspired by our teachers who loved Suzuki Roshi, who were so touched by his teachings. You know, I don't, want to idolize Suzuki Roshi. Friends have said to me, you know, he was human, so yes. And in the midst of his humanness, this vow to bring this practice to America, what a crazy idea. But it was something that really inspired and drove Suzuki Roshi. This was how Suzuki Roshi, this is the means by which Suzuki Roshi could bring his love of practice, his commitment to meeting a life of suffering. Like, there is a way, and this is the way. This is what I have been taught. So, this afternoon, the ordinands, there are six of them.

[09:13]

They are sitting in silence today, grounding themselves in zazen practice, the heart. of all of this, sitting quietly in the midst of our life, over and over, taking our seat, sitting still, no matter what is going on in our lives, putting that down and sitting in the midst of it. So the ordinands are sitting quietly, and this afternoon we'll have a bodhisattva ceremony where they will formally enter Buddhist practice by taking this bodhisattva vow publicly, together, formally, here in the Buddha Hall. And so there's the bodhisattva vow of saving all beings, and then there are 16 parts to the bodhisattva vow. And I did want to talk a little bit about the ceremony, and I wanted to talk a little bit about the precepts

[10:21]

because this really is kind of about the nitty-gritty of that big vow. How does one even begin to put that vow in the lead, as Shohako Kumara said? Here in the temple, we have built into our practice daily taking refuge in this vow, returning. So this afternoon, the first thing that the ordinands do is they call in the ancestors. They call the ancestors to please focus their hearts on them. Oh, Bodhisattva, Mahasattvas, please concentrate your hearts on me. And, you know, again, just to take a moment to consider. You know, are there ancestors perhaps that you could call to you to be with you at a time such as something as big as an ordination or an interview or a ceremony that you are going at a time when you are taking a vow?

[11:43]

You know, are there ancestors perhaps who inspired you? Are you curious? Do you know who your ancestors are? You know, are you curious? We live in their wake. You know, their lives have impacted us. You know, do we consider, do we consider that? So, oh, Bodhisattva, oh, ancestors, please concentrate your heart on me as I take this big, this big step. And as I said, we, We take this, we renew our vow. We put our vow in the lead at the time of ordination. We take this, the precepts at the time of lay ordination, priest ordination, entrustment ceremonies, transmission ceremonies.

[12:46]

At the time, When people come together in a Buddhist wedding, these are the vows that we take together, that together this union will awaken, alleviate suffering for others. This is, again, going back to our commitment. And also at funerals. So as we are sending our loved ones into the great mystery, again, this vow goes with them into the next lifetime. So, yes, the ancestors come and be with us. And we, part of the precept taking ceremony also is acknowledging our karma. We do this also in the mornings at morning service. We, at the end of sitting, you know, we call in our karma. All my ancient twisted karma. We call it in.

[13:48]

We avow it. I am here from beginningless greed, hate, and delusion. You know, this goes back so far. I'm acknowledging I actually cannot see you, you know, but come. Come make yourself accessible to me. I am here in my vow, and I am ready to meet my karma, you know. Born through body, speech, and mind. Born through our actions, our karma. The actions of our ancestors, you know. I now fully avow. I am here. I am open. You know, come. And after we take, after we call forward our karma, then we take refuge. We take refuge in Buddha, in our awakened mind. We take refuge in Buddha.

[14:49]

Then we take refuge in Dharma, in the teachings of the Buddha, in the truth. And then we take refuge in Sangha. We take refuge in each other. You know, I am practicing this way. I take refuge in you. You are practicing this way. As the ordinands, as those preparing for ceremony, study the precepts. with each other, with their teacher, they sew a Buddha's robe. And each day afterwards, after receiving your robe, each day after practice, you put your robe on. You know, this is what is going to lead me through the day. This vow is going to lead me through the day. So, namu kye butsu, I take refuge in Buddha. Namu kye ho. I take refuge in Dharma. Namu, Kye, So. I take refuge in Sangha.

[15:50]

Each stitch, each stitch of the robe is a preparation. It's a remembering. It's a returning to refuge means to return to. This is what I return to. I return to my awakened mind. I return to the teachings of the Buddha. And I return to the Sangha. These are the places where I will be supported in this vow. This is a place I can return to when I'm lost, when I'm confused. So taking refuge. I want to acknowledge that during this time, so many of these robes have been sewn online. Our sewing teacher, our lead sewing teacher, Timothy Wicks is here. They're like, oh, way back there, back of the classroom, Tim.

[16:51]

And it's just been so inspiring. You know, I'm seeing all these nodding heads of people who have been sewing, you know, with Tim, with Tova, with Paola, and this tradition of sewing our robes, wrapping ourselves in our robes, in our vow each day. And Not only that, but a new group was also started during the pandemic, which was also all online, which was taking up the tradition of sewing among the sewing teachers, something that Tim had wanted to do for a long time and took this as an opportunity to do that. So, instructions, sewing is so difficult. It's such a difficult pattern. It goes wrong all over the place. You have to undo stitches. And I've only done this in the sewing room with Tim or with a sewing teacher just a few feet away because I'm constantly asking for pinning or help.

[17:54]

So to imagine tutorials and ruckus being flown in the mail and, you know, it's just, it was so inspiring. It just, it's vow made tangible. You know, it's love made just tangible. So thank you. And thank you all of you who sewed remotely and at a distance. I would not have been able to. So after... So let's see, the Bodhisattva vow, the 16 components, the first three taking refuge. The next three are kind of the overarching precepts. And that is the precept to the pure precepts.

[18:56]

You know, there are different names for the precepts. There's different interpretations. There's different language. And... I encourage you, if you're interested in studying the precepts, really to look at all these different ways that these are expressed because inevitably something will kind of get you differently or you would have been like chanting something the same way for years, you know, and then you hear it chanted differently. It's like, oh, you know, it can flip things, flip things around. So the The overarching, the three pure precepts, I kind of think of them as kind of like cliff notes. They're really easy to return to, you know. I vow to do no harm. I mean, really, how often do I just go to that, you know. I vow to do no harm. I vow to do all good, you know. Good, oh, hmm, you know, what's that mean, you know.

[19:58]

And then the commitment. The energy of those two kind of being extended out in the third. I vow to live for the benefit of all beings. And again, these are to be studied for a lifetime. These are to be lived for a lifetime. This is a lot in one Dharma talk. So I acknowledge that. And then we get to the ten. kind of nitty gritty. This is where we really get into it is with the 10 essential precepts or prohibitory precepts. And I think for a lot of people, for me, these were very triggering when I first heard them coming from being raised Catholic. You know, a disciple of Buddha does not kill, does not

[21:01]

And immediately I think, well, I'm not a disciple of Buddha, you know, because I do, you know. There's no way that I don't. So the prohibitory precepts, I've come to appreciate them as I vow not to. So the precepts in terms, we can think of them as guideposts for this larger vow of not harming, of awakening. So I vow not to kill is the first prohibitory precept. I vow not to take what is not given. I vow not to steal. I vow not to misuse sexuality. I vow not to lie. I vow to refrain from intoxicants. I vow not to slander.

[22:05]

I vow not to praise self at the expense of others. I vow not to be avaricious. I vow not to harbor ill will. There are many ways to take up precept study, and the precepts actually have to be engaged. They have to be taken up. Otherwise, it just doesn't happen. So ways of studying the precepts are memorizing them so that they become incorporated. flow through our being. So memorizing the precepts, perhaps writing the precepts in a way that they are awake for you, writing your own version of the precepts.

[23:15]

Picking one precept up, picking up one precept and really turning that maybe for a whole week, maybe with Dharma friends. maybe in a study group, you know, how does killing show up in your life? You know, is it blatantly killing, you know, a spider, a mosquito, you know, not actually taking a moment to take a look at what life is, your connection to it, what is alive in you as you're just moving out of habit, you know? I've always done this, you know? So picking up one precept, you know, is it the killing of someone else's enthusiasm, someone else's idea, you know? So what is it to get into kind of, as I said, the nitty gritty of what is it to kill, you know?

[24:30]

Journaling is a way to take up the precepts. And if you are studying with a teacher, talking with them about what is precept study? What does that look like to study the precepts with a teacher? For those of us who have taken the precepts formally, are you engaging with the precepts? Are you picking them up intentionally? Are you turning them? Have you gotten to a place in your practice where maybe your practice is pretty good? Are you looking at the precepts? I was in a situation recently where I was in a very difficult, very painful rupture with someone who I've known my entire life, you know, since day one.

[25:32]

And I felt wronged, you know. I felt wronged. I felt that I was owed an apology, you know. And this hurt went on for seven years, you know. And I'm taking my vows every day, you know. And this karma, you know, I was just so determined to understand it. What is this? working with my teacher, talking to my friends. You know, what is it? What is it? What is it? Seven years. And finally, it was me asking myself, is there something I can apologize for in this? You know, can I stop hanging out back here? Is there some way I can really take a leap here? And when I framed it that way, What came up for me was what harm have I caused in this situation?

[26:36]

And what is my part? What is my responsibility? What can I say that I am truly sorry for in the harm that I've created? And that really shifted everything in that situation. But it was this vow of not harming. And it came to me in that way. You know, I created harm. So, you know, we don't pick up these vows, you know, oh, here's this karma, here's the vow, okay, taking care of that one. You know, it's this conversation and it's this commitment to our Zazen practice, you know, of returning day after day. Ah, it can be so boring, you know, sitting down in the midst of my life, you know. But I do encourage us to have a daily Zazen practice. When my daughter was younger, I would, you know, not be able to sit for very long.

[27:39]

Every morning, there were times when I didn't, you know, weeks at a time when I didn't, but I did return, light the candle, offer incense, three bows to Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha, sit for maybe at, sometimes it was five minutes. I was like, I don't care. You know, I'm doing this. Sometimes it was lighting the candle, the bowing, You know, this is going to be my vow. This is going to lead me through the day. Not that I really thought of it consciously that way, you know. But to return to the practice, you know, even if it's five minutes of sitting, even if it's lighting our candle and vowing, you know, I vow to end all suffering possible that I am aware of, that I'm able to today, you know. And, you know, If it is right, there are so many short verses. Taking refuge in Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha.

[28:39]

Calling in your karma. Karma, I am here. We're in this together, whether we like it or not. Again and again, returning to this impossible, impossible vow. Engaging. Picking it up. I recently read Michelle Obama's latest book, The Light We Carry. And in it, she talks about when she made that statement, when they go low, we go high. And, you know, I think she really rocked our nation. She rocked a lot of people in this nation when she said that because it was such a difficult time. It was such harmful and hateful discourse, public discourse, you know. And... In her book, she says that oftentimes before she reacts, that there is a hard line.

[29:43]

And when she comes to that hard line, she pauses. And she does her best. Now I'm, you know, what did she, let's see, I did write this down. She says, for me going high, usually involves taking a pause, you know, before I react. It is a form of self-control, a line laid between our worst and our best intentions, you know. So in Zazen, we study the rising of thought, you know. We watch as the thoughts arise. We come back to being. We come back to calm mind. We come back to trusting something bigger. You know, sometimes it's the thought and then it's many thoughts very quickly stuck to that thought.

[30:47]

And then we see we're lost in thought and we come back. And as we practice this way, as we practice coming back to, returning to, I think in this returning, you know, there's healing. You know, in the pause, there's healing. We're not just being pulled along by our karma. And at that pause, we can see actually what's coming forward. You know, oh, am I intoxicating my mind? Am I picking up my phone again? You know, am I looking at Twitter? Am I, you know, on Instagram again? Just like, oh, hmm, as in Zazen. Well, what was it right before that? You know, what was the thought? What was the karma that was pushing me along as I reacted this way? You know, so the pause. So.

[31:49]

This is almost like a huge buffet, you know, that you might see in the movies or something, you know, a wedding, an Indian wedding, you know. All this, you know, all this dharma, you know. And I'm sorry if I've given you too much to eat this morning, you know. It feels like, ooh, how do I even begin to digest? all of that, you know, Eli's chewing away over there behind his mask, you know? So, you know, is there one thing, is there one thing you can take away during study time at Tassajara with Norman Fisher during practice period, um, study time. It's like, Ooh, study time. People go with these huge stacks of books to study time, you know? And, uh, Norman would say, when you're reading a Dharma book and you come to one teaching, one word, something, close the book.

[33:17]

So, perhaps there's one thing. Perhaps there's one thing that you can take with you through the day. So there's a special kind of joy in the temple today as these ordinands prepare for their ordination. And bodhisattvas rejoice. And many of these people, a few of these people had never been here. Their practice, their relationship with, this particular practice with this practice place is all through the online Zendo.

[34:21]

So it's so wonderful that you're able to come and be here. And the Zendo is open again. The online Zendo is open. So please come. Please return. Please take refuge with us. Lean on the Sangha. Inspired by the Sangha. I see a lot of old friends here today. And it's so wonderful to walk this path together. This inseparable kinship with all beings. As Jane Hirshfield says, inseparable kinship. So we'll end the talk this afternoon, this morning.

[35:29]

It's still morning. We'll end the talk this morning with the chanting of our impossible, inspired, Bodhisattva vows. Thank you so much for your practice, for being here. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dorma.

[36:11]

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