Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Hello. Good afternoon. Good morning. Good morning. Please wait for a moment. I went to America.

[01:12]

I went to America. [...] I went to the beginning of the year, and I went to the beginning of the year. I went to the airport, and I was very tired. I might sleep in the middle of the year. I was very tired. I arrived in the United States the day before yesterday Before the departure I was practicing I was joining in

[02:33]

session at Eheiji for a week, which is commemorating the memorial day of Shakyamuni Buddha, his Nirvana day. And right after finishing the session, I jumped into the airplane, and I came to this country again. So I'm kind of very sleepy still. And I'm sorry if I sleep during this talk. I'd like to apologize in advance. Yesterday, it happened really. During the rehearsal for tomorrow's auspicious occasion, I was observing the rehearsal. But I slept almost 30 minutes. At the very important part of the rehearsal.

[03:49]

Me too. Sorry. I've heard the rumor all, but... the late Reverend Corbentino Roshi, who slept during his talk. I think you may have heard. Right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm now looking for what to talk today looking at your face and your figures and I

[04:54]

I'm trying to find out what to talk from your resource. I'm trying to find out what to talk from your resource. Even though you are In silence, you are talking to me.

[05:59]

Generally, we think that we talk something, and you talk back something. And I talk you back something. But I think truly, the word is exchange, exchanging, even though silence. Maybe more in silence before the words. Therefore, what I'd like to do most is keep quiet together with you. I met Mr. Chadwick, David Chadwick at the entrance, a while ago.

[07:04]

Oh. Chadwickさんは本を書きますね. He wrote many books. That's one other reason that I don't want to talk. But I don't have to worry about that. I'm a young man with a young man with a young man. I'm a young man with a young man. I'm a young man with a young man with a young man with a young man.

[08:22]

That's what I like to do. Now, I am serving at the A.H. Temple as a structure of a monastery and practicing Zazen together with many eager young practitioners. I want to say everybody is practicing Zazen so eagerly, but some does not like Zazen.

[09:28]

Some like it very much. And I could say, like, sometimes they like Zazen. Sometimes they don't like Zazen. I am likewise. I sometimes like Zazen and sometimes don't. I'm practicing with those people. Ten years ago, I joined the session at Tassahara.

[10:47]

Meanwhile, I was asked to have time for question and answer. Someone asked me whether I like Zazen or not. So I promptly answered, ah, I don't. Everyone was so surprised. The son of Shunju Suzuki said he doesn't like Zazen. At that time, I was a little tired, and I was a little tired. I was a little tired, and I was a little tired. I was a little tired, but I was a little tired, and I was a little tired. At that time, I was a little tired, and I was a little tired. So, I was a little tired, and I was a little tired. After that, I was a little tired, and I was a little tired. That's what I thought.

[12:00]

That's what I thought. I was very tired at the time I remember and I was very sleepy at the time actually I'm almost always sleepy but at the time it was rather sleepier than usual therefore I answered, I don't like zazen. Two years later, I went to the Tassahara again and did zazen. The same person asked the same question.

[13:01]

Do you still don't like zazen? He asked. And I recognized his face. That's the person with the same question. And I answered, I'm not looking at the same views before. I'm not like always the same. So better not to see someone like me always the same. Everything is changing.

[14:15]

And everything is proceeding, not going backward. If you feel all right, you are proceeding, going forward. I'm sorry. I was assigned officer's tanto at the EHG.

[15:21]

And someone in Europe who knows me asked the one delegated young priest to Europe, which Suzuki became fond of Zazen? He asked, he said... He did say the same question. It makes strange to address like you, those who are practicing Zazen every day, and your life becoming one with the Zazen.

[16:32]

I think those who, actually your life is not separated. Maybe the life of those who do neither like nor dislike Zazen, that such a life becomes one with Zazen, I think. Making sense? Doing Zazen, whether you like or not,

[17:41]

But you do the Zen simply, beyond likes and dislikes, is the life of Zen, I think. I was born before. [...] And I didn't go anywhere else.

[18:43]

And I went to the very quiet world, the 2nd of the 15th. The day [...] of the 15th. You may have been looking for something, searching for something, and finally you reached this place where you practiced Zazen. Maybe you have been looking for it since your birth.

[19:43]

Maybe since before your birth. Shakyamuni Buddha may have reached Zazen like us. And he did not leave that place. He did not escape from anywhere from the point. and continued Zazen. And he went, he was gone to a truly quiet world. That was Nirvana Day, February 15th. So we may think that this is our destination from where we don't have to go anywhere. And we... We may think that we reached the destination, which is Zazen.

[21:03]

Before the people who taught us how to pray and live, it's important for us to do that. If we do that, we are in the world in a bad way. That's why we are in a safe way. In the life of the Zen, there is no good thing or bad thing. Just following what your senior did, we follow the way and live this life.

[22:11]

In this life, there is no good or bad. Therefore, you don't have to worry about it. Just feeling peacefully and looking for anything anymore, looking for nothing anymore, and live this life. A. H.の若い雲水の皆さんが質問の時間があって質問を受けるんですけれども、その質問の時によく言います。 座禅をしていると雑念が沸きます。 雑念が沸かないようにするにはどうしたらいいんですか。 私が答えます。 That's what happens to you.

[23:32]

That's why it's not bad. The training priest at the AHG sometimes asked me questions like during Zazen miscellaneous thoughts or delusions always arise in my mind during Zazen. What should I do with this? Then I answered like this. Are you aware that you are

[24:38]

already aware that delusion or miscellaneous thought continuously arise in your mind? And are you aware that there is someone who is aware of that? Being aware of being aware that there is you who is aware that delusions and mislinear thought arise. Thanks to thought and delusion, we sometimes learn things. Therefore, there is no bad things in this life. In the middle of the time, I was able to take a lot of questions, but I was able to take a lot of questions and ask them to teach them.

[26:08]

that's what I'm thinking about. That's what I'm thinking about. That's what I'm thinking about. That's what I'm thinking about. So I'm thinking about that. There are a lot of people. But to pray for us, we are already at the end of the destination. We [...] are at the end of the destination. There is no need to be able [...]

[27:33]

That's what we're going to do. During the session, there came some training priest for my Dokusan time. And hearing what they ask and what they talk, I felt that many people still think that by doing Zazen, you may be given a good thing, good result.

[28:36]

something good happens by doing Zazen. They don't directly speak like that, but still I feel the feeling still cannot be given up. But Zazen is something already reached the destination. Zazen is destination already. So, from destination, you are looking for somewhere to go. Then, that will be delusion, naturally. And there is no more destination, so you are just, delusion continues. You are doing Zazen as a destination of your life. You just practice Zazen. at ease, at home.

[29:39]

Of course, you may sometimes feel sleepy. Sometimes you are driven around by a lot of thoughts and emotions. But you just practice Zen at ease. Doing, making good posture. Making right posture and breathing ears and practices like Shakyamuni Buddha or Tata Agatha. My father, my father, and [...] I didn't teach a lot, but I didn't teach a lot, but I didn't teach a lot.

[31:04]

That's what I told you about. I don't want to say anything. [...] I like to eat some sweet potatoes. I like to eat some sweet potatoes in the畑. And I had to eat it, and I had to eat it, and I had to eat it.

[32:20]

That's what I liked it. Well, you know, I had a lot of love for everyone. My father, my teacher, Shunryu Suzuki did not teach me a lot about the Zen or Buddhist teaching. He actually did not teach all those things to me. But the experience looking at how he is living was a big teaching to me.

[33:26]

Maybe it was the biggest teaching to me. He did not speak like, I like this or I don't like this. He didn't say like it or not like it. And I felt almost like sorry for him not saying those things. He was he liked what his favorite food was something like sweet small tiny sweet potato who everyone didn't pay attention to. The leftover kind of small sweet potato, he collected them and steamed it, and each one of them was what he liked. Therefore, I feel a little bit sorry for him, who is caring for such an abandoned thing.

[34:38]

and I truly say he did not say he never said I liked it or I don't like it I couldn't make my room clean. When I was a kid, I was a kid. I was a kid, but when I was a kid, I was a kid. When I was a kid, I was a kid. When I was a kid, I was a kid. and my small room in the kitchen, and my small room in the kitchen, and I made it clean, and I made it clean.

[35:55]

I made it clean, and I made it clean. So when I went to school, I was surprised. But my father said, I didn't say that. But I did not say that. I did not say that. But I did not say that. [...] So you should. He didn't teach me a lot. But there was something happening like this.

[36:59]

I myself... is a... I cannot clean the room. I mean... I cannot keep my room clean and tidy. I have such a... I am like that. And... Always... Dusty. Dusty. There it is. There it is. And when I was a high school student, I came back from school. And I found my room was cleaned and really tidy. Shunryu Suzuki cleaned my room.

[38:01]

And even in a drawer, pencils, stationary, erasers are in order. My room was a lot of notebook, books, scattered around. But everything was so clean. But he never said, you have to clean. You must make your room clean and tidy. Never said. And this kind of, he's... cleaning up Shunryu Suzuki cleaned up Hoytsuro's room it happened twice I remember but I am still not the person like I'm still my room is dusty and yet

[39:08]

I was困っていました. At that time, the teacher said to me, I said, if there is money, there is money. I said, if there is money, there is money. He said, I said, do you? [...] That money is available. If you have money, I have a little bit of money. I put it in a bag and a bag. I put it in [...] a bag. My father did not have a lot of money too.

[40:29]

He was always poor and always concerned about the money. One day Shunyu Suzuki Roshi asked Hoitsu Roshi, Hoitsu, do you have some money? And I answered, yes, I do. A little bit. And then he said, would you lend me a little bit? So I said, yes. And I presented it. I was collecting some money, saving some money through a small donation from the supporters family whenever I went chanting memorial service or something like that. Shunju Suzuki found that money when he was cleaning up my room.

[41:37]

LAUGHTER I was happy about that. He borrowed, but he didn't return it yet. Therefore, Therefore, he didn't... I don't say he never had any attachment, but he had the least attachment toward the things, material.

[43:09]

desire or something like that. That part, I maybe a little bit succeed, take over his character or personality. If you do Zazen, you will be like that. Please be careful. But if you're not alone, you might not be able to live.

[44:11]

And I think that we are very hard. And one of the most, I think that we are very worried about the fact that we are in the midst of our lives. We are also in the 70s, [...] in the 70s. That's what I've heard. That's why, when I'm broken, I'm broken.

[45:27]

I'm broken. [...] There are so many things that we have to do. So, we are always, as we said earlier, if we don't have to do it, we are always going to be able to move forward. We are always going to be able to move forward. Attachment may be something important. Without any attachment, we may not be able to live on.

[46:36]

But having too much attachment causes hardships of your life. That's how I appreciate it. And the most big The biggest question maybe is about our life and death. I felt that, I start feeling like that. The question of life and death is the biggest question. Becoming 73 years old. Three years ago, I suddenly... got my hearing ability down. Maybe my ear was broken. But someone told me that, no, no, ear was not broken.

[47:37]

Some part of relating to audibility, some part of brain was broken. It sounded more serious. But maybe we are being broken little by little, I think. Being broken little by little causes less freedom, less convenience, not less comfort. But I found there comes up many more things that I can feel or learn by being broken. So if without attachment, too much attachment, then as I talked to you at the beginning, we are going forward and finding always new

[48:49]

Discovering new yourself. I found many more things to learn by being old and being broken. It's a small voice. It's a small voice. When I was a small voice, I would say that it might be difficult to hear.

[49:59]

I would say that it might be difficult to hear. I would say that it might be difficult to hear. I become more sympathetic to those who have a hearing problem. And I have a problem eyes, therefore I can feel how it feels, how it feels to those who have problem eyes.

[51:06]

I learned many things. And also I could I become more able to hear a smaller whispering voice. I could hear rather clear. Like, oh, she has a problem. Hearing. So better not to talk to him now. Something like that. Those kind of whispering become more clear. So I learned that, oh, that kind of thing, I should not talk something like that way, hurting somebody. That's what I learned through my program. I don't say, do not tell those bad things to what others say, but...

[52:10]

I don't say to you I learned myself I should not talk like that to someone with problem My mother was born in the middle of 6 years ago. So, that's what I'm looking for.

[53:38]

幸せではなかったことが私にそういうものをくださいましたですから不幸といってあまりに悲しみすぎないのも大切なことだと思うんですね不幸に遭わない人というのは There is no one in the world. That's why, we don't have to do it. We don't have to do it. This is what we can say. This is what we can say. This is what we can say. I don't want to say anything.

[54:53]

And I don't want to say anything. [...] There is no way to go. There is no way to [...] go. There's a lot of things that are going to happen. There was a lot of people who had a friend who had a friend of mine.

[55:56]

He said, [...] And he said, I'm a man who is [...] a man

[57:14]

The master said to his brother, he [...] said to his brother. He said to his brother, he said to his brother, he said to his brother, I was told that you were [...] told. to say to say [...]

[58:43]

善にあらず、死にあらず、善にあらず、悪にあらず、妄想にあらず、妄想に、妄想と言い妄想にあらず、妄想と言ったり妄想でなかったり、妄想を妄想と言わない。両辺に渡らない。 Having a problem of hearing is not a happy thing to me. It was not a happy thing to me. But somehow I felt like, oh, it was good to have a problem of hearing.

[59:45]

I think having a problem is not a happy thing. But the other side of this unhappy thing, there is a feeling of, oh, it was good. When I was 12 years old, my mother died. Therefore, I think, I can feel how the children without mother feels. I can feel how it feels to those parents and the children are separated. I feel that I can tell the feeling.

[60:50]

I cannot say, I perfectly can tell, but I think I am able to understand their feeling. That was because due to my mother's death. My mother's death was not happy things, of course, to me. Thanks to this happening, I became such a generous and open-minded person. So, even though it looks an unhappy thing, I think it is better not to feel too sorrowful, too sad. I think it is important not to feel too sorrow, too sorry. There is no one who don't have misfortune happening.

[61:54]

The important thing is don't is not to leave misfortune as misfortune only. Always the other side of misfortune, there is something not misfortune. That is what the Zen says, go beyond likes and dislikes. Go beyond dualism. Don't distinguish too much, good or bad. That's how Zen talks about it. The Shinjinmei by Third Patriarch says, the way is beyond likes and dislikes. beyond judgment or picky feeling. And accept everything. That's how the third patriarch says in his Shinjinmei.

[62:58]

There are other stories which we can find in a Brooklyph record or the pure standard of Eihei Dogenzenji. Like a teacher and student went to to a supporter's house for condolence. And the student tapping on the coffin, and teacher, do you say he's alive or death? And teacher answered, oh, I won't say leave, or I won't say die. The student replied, oh, if you don't tell which, I will hit you. But teacher says, oh, I don't care being hit. I won't say leave. I won't say no. Dead. So this teacher was really hit by the students.

[64:04]

But teacher said, the student, you better go away from this monastery. If everyone knows that you hit me, everyone attack you. So you go away. And he let him go to another teacher's place. And the student asked the same question, or maybe he talked about the topic. And another student said, oh, you didn't understand what your teacher said? And then the story goes on like this. I won't say live, I won't say die. I won't say delusion, I won't say non-delusion. I won't say fortune, I won't say misfortune. That is what the Zen is teaching us.

[65:08]

It was more than 10 years ago. I was in the center for 20 years, more than 20 years ago. I was in the center of B.R.A.C.B.R.A.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C. We don't know. [...]

[66:17]

But in my heart, I'm going to be able to live in the center of the center of the center. I'm going to be there. Thank you so much. 20 years ago, I came to this city center, and I ring the bell, like today. And the husband of Branch Zenkei Roshi, Lu, opened the door.

[67:19]

and said to me, we don't need any more. And I said, oh, I reacted, me, me, me, me. But he said, and he joked and hung so warmly. I remember it still. And I think he is still walking around in this place. I think he may be around there. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge. And this is made possible by the donations we receive.

[68:21]

Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[68:36]

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