No one remembers anything. It doesn't mean the mat is not mad. Excuse me, we're gonna center it. I guess center it. You can have it, actually, when it's close to the... That gives them a better mistake. Yeah. Eat. What's it? The metramanana. What's it? What's it?

[01:02]

What's it? [...] No problem. No problem. Yeah. You might be eating flowers. Okay. Sweet. [...] I think I'll be right. It's raining. It's not raining, but also, you know, because you're walking up and down steps, and they're wet. So, you know, for your own safety, call it minion.

[02:04]

I want to do a couple of little files. Yeah, yeah. The overcast cases. So inside, I'm going to switch now. I'm going to switch. Yeah, that's good. I'm going to switch. So that was it. OK. OK. Go inside. I hear a lot of the sounds like this is okay. It's fine with your bowels there. We might actually have to get out.

[03:47]

That is amazing. That's a great friend. Okay. Yep. Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

[05:33]

Thank you. That's how it tastes like. I don't realize that...

[06:58]

Well, welcome everyone. The dent show has just completed and so we're going to begin the ceremony now. The procession will be making their way in. Just a final reminder to either turn on or turn on your cell phone or sit on airplane mode. We're not wanting it to be on the Wi-Fi. And also a reminder that no pictures during the ceremony. So I'm glad that you're all here and please enjoy. And maybe one last thing. If you're anyone who has a speaking role in the mondo or making a statement, Please speak as loudly as possible.

[07:59]

We want to make sure we catch up the audio. Thank you. The gate is Shogaku's stone bridge.

[10:32]

Donkeys cross and horses cross. The vast sky and the great earth cross. Warm heart and empty mind cross. Hell beings and maras cross. Dharma protectors and devas cross. This mixed-up, patch-robed priest will cross. This great old bridge holds all. Years ago, this unwitting duckweed swept through these doors, not even seeing a gate in which to enter.

[12:06]

Today, someone returns. Will he step inside? Can she step outside? Only Buddhas can cross this threshold. Hey, you! Let's leap through together. Angela Nee, Chair of the Board of Directors of San Francisco Zen Center.

[16:47]

Today, we celebrate another important moment in the long history of San Francisco Zen Center. The Mountain Seat Stepping Up Ceremony for Doshin Makogoko, as the new abiding abbot of City Center, and Juryu Ruxuan Byler, as the new abiding abbot of Green Gulch Park. Your many years of practice as a community member, resident, administrative leader of Tassajara, a priest, a teacher, and most recently as head teacher at Austin Zen Center will be a tremendous gift to the whole community. Your commitment to service as a priest and teacher inspires all of us and will serve the community in countless ways. Your passion for creating community and cultivating an open and diverse environment where all people feel seen and supported is essential to the long-term health and well-being of the Zen Center.

[17:56]

Mako, because of your devotion to the Buddha way, to teaching and to this great institution and its future, the board of directors and the entire Sangha invite you to assume the position of abiding abbot at Beginners of My Temple here in San Francisco. We do so with great confidence, but also with deep gratitude for your willingness to serve and ascend this mountain. You have our wholehearted support. May you be successful in all that you've set out to do. Your many years as a resident, an administrative leader of Zen Center, a priest, a teacher, and most recently, as Tonto for Green Gulch Farms, will be a tremendous gift to the whole community. Your dedication not only to your practice, but to offering and enriching the Zen practice of those near and far to you, including the San Quentin Sangha, the Montaña del Silencio Sangha in Colombia.

[19:00]

Your commitment to service as a priest and teacher inspires all of us and will serve the Zen Center community in countless ways. Juryu, because of your devotion to the Buddha way, to teaching and to this great institution, its future. The board of directors and entire song, I invite you to assume the position of abiding abbot at Green Dragon Temple. We do so with great confidence, but also with deep gratitude for your willingness to serve and ascend this mountain. You have our wholehearted support. May you be successful in all that you set out to do. Shakyamuni Buddha, original teacher, today I am not bowing to your accidental words, your 40 years of kind and helpful statements.

[21:10]

Silent sage of the Shakyas, I am bowing today to your timeless Buddha body, to your upright Buddha spine, your Buddha mudra beacon shining across continents, millennia, to right here and right now, illuminating our own Buddha body, our shared Buddha body, liberation body, truth body, this vast moment body offers fragrance now, bowing to itself. Daigen Shuddhi Bosat, great protector of the practice principle, we need you here.

[25:39]

Please shrink and multiply and enter into our bloodstream. Become billions of Daigen Shuddhi antibodies fighting off our greed, hate and confusion. Become Daigen Shuddhi enzyme. digesting our delusion into nutriment for path. Please become a vast earth spirit and protect our temples from floods and fire, all calamity. And today, please protect the Dharma, most of all, from me. I offer fragrance and I bow here to our lineage of Buddha ancestors.

[27:51]

From the empty circle, Prajnaparamita, mother of the ancient Buddhas, through Shakyamuni and Mahapajapati, great founders of our order, through the whole wide roaring river of our Zen, Bodhidharma, Nansongchi, The churning wild river of this lineage empties here into this authentic Dharma moment ocean. This empty circle where we all stand now again. Om Namu Shaka Muni Butsu These fragrant petals I offer to you.

[32:03]

We are here, right now, because of you. Your silent sitting, your clear seeing, illuminating this ancient, primordial path to liberation. this. A white rat snake, hidden in a monk's bag, bringing teachings across a rough sea, to the great-eyed dragon king I humbly bow.

[35:58]

Homage to Bodhidharma, listening to the breath of your teacher, honoring her request to you, bearing the Dharma across an ocean, mind like a wall, avowing karma, eyes burning emptiness through mountains, transmitting true nature to true nature. Homage to our ancestors, male and female, neither male nor female, each one emerging from the womb matrix of Prajnaparamita. You knew that this would be a problem.

[44:18]

Making a Zen center makes Zen be somewhere and everyone gets so confused. Thank you anyway for risking it and passing on your problem. May our life reveal your compassion great teacher, and may the warm, wise teaching of this school truly go on without end. Great, great grandfather, born of the same soil as my forebears and leaving that land, planting seeds here, nurturing sprouts, harvesting truth, teaching us that to be just ourselves through and through is enough.

[48:13]

How can I ever retain your tremendous kindness. Not knowing how, still, with wholeness of body and mind, I proclaim, yes, I will. The Shinmei have now entered the Ojo, where they are signing temple documents and inspecting the temple seals.

[53:29]

Now is the time for a brief intermission. You can get up, stretch your legs, use the restroom. There are additional restrooms on the second floor. When you hear a roll down on the dencho, the large bell in the basement, that means it's time to come back into the Buddha Hall. Thank you. Thank you. You're supposed to wear white? I've been well.

[54:41]

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I've got some of this. Yeah.

[56:06]

Yeah. [...] If you're nice to me, you can apply it. Okay. [...] And we said they could get the board members, right? Yeah. That we need to be convinced that this was it. Oh, thanks.

[57:33]

Oh, that's fun. No, they're the same art thing. Right. Yeah. You were the same art? Yeah. I just don't know. Do I? Do you want to talk? Yeah, I don't know. [...] Oh, yeah. Yeah. [...] You know, and I thought about this.

[59:01]

Oh, wait. You're welcome. Bye. That is beautiful. Different fashion. Right, tell them how to take it. Yeah. So, my study has been a piece of a lot of sample. That's what amazes me. That's why I love his relationship with friend Korea. They have a bad question. It's really nice. Like spacious. Oh, it's great. Yeah.

[60:02]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I have a similar idea. I'm just trying to look for it, isn't it? Yeah. Some of these are kind of like... Oh, so you take care of five minutes around. Yeah. That's right. That's right. Usually, you can use the ministry side. Oh, so you can? Yeah.

[61:21]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We did a good pop show now. That's interesting. That's the thing is we are about honest. I don't know. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Did I say something? I appreciate it. Maybe down here with too expensive and all the rage and everything, and they just said, okay, let's go to...

[62:38]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, they're really keen. They're really green. They call it the emerald. It doesn't even matter. I love it. I love it. Well, yeah. He has a favorite. He has a favorite. And so then...

[63:52]

I'll see you next time. Yeah. [...] That's already lost.

[64:56]

I like that. Oops. Yeah. [...] Oh, okay. Stop it. Yeah, so glitter and audio output are just plenty of awesome facts.

[65:59]

And also, it's right. I keep doing this. Yeah, that's good. We're close to you. We have to be shut out. [...] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[67:01]

We're not going to be talking about this, right? Keywords are... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not being out of school. He's not being out of school. He's not being out of school.

[68:06]

He's not being out of school. [...] And you have to mention that I've been skewed. Something that looks like a snake. Yeah, what are you noticed? Why, no. Well, I'm saying you get to have a big deal. Yeah, I'm bad. Well, I have to think it's time-space that allows to class at a 9-inch for 7-inch. Yeah, that's why it's me. That's what I just had to spend.

[69:20]

Oh, I got one. [...] Yeah, you're up to... Yeah, I'm trying to get a hit shot. It's basically to connect that... Yeah, that's hard to... That's a great thing. Thank you.

[70:22]

Thank you. Thank you. Excuse me. It's fake.

[71:26]

It's fake. But, actually, the teachers were always interested in being with Dougie. I love you. [...] Thank you. Thank you. Yes.

[72:50]

Yes. Yes. Is this something? Yeah. I love the road you buy. I don't know if he has to work with you. Yeah, right? But he puts up, I just don't care this part, to somebody.

[73:51]

He's a powerful, beautiful person. Right? Right? Right? Then he pulls out the microphone. Right? And so, then he ends up thinking about, right, like, how do you do that? Right? Yeah. I had this. I had this. But I think that was the point about human beings and creatures. 7, 8, [...] 9, 10, 10, 11, 12, 13, 13, 14, 14, 15, 16, 16, 17, 17, 18, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 26, 27, 28, 28, 29, 29, 30, 31, 32, [...]

[75:05]

And it must be really super cheap. I don't know. I should make it on Netflix and something. Trying to protect it. I don't know. [...] I know, I already know. I don't think that it's a girl.

[76:18]

Yeah. Yeah. ... [...] Yeah.

[77:21]

Yeah. [...] You know, it's like, you [...] know, it's like, You just get up there and you'll be the next afternoon.

[78:27]

Lift up. But they don't tune too. Thank you. [...] Thank you So it was second time.

[79:49]

Sorry everyone had been sitting back. I got back to doing it now. Just tell me what's going on. So, you have to turn the course to my husband. I think I'll be right back. [...] I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I [...] don't know. Oh, yes.

[81:16]

I didn't care. [...] Yeah, yeah. There's two new stuff. Uh-huh. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, yeah.

[82:34]

Thank you. I thought that'd be... Yeah, he's... Man, he's... I don't know. [...] Thank you.

[83:52]

Thank you. So nice to present. And this is Dr. Pau. We don't see him. This is one of the people. Thank you. I said... Thank you. Thank you.

[85:06]

So, I got people off. That's the most... I think I'm sort of... You know, if you're like... And it's just... They found that they [...] Yeah, I'm like... Oh, thanks.

[86:27]

Good. [...] Yeah, my name is Kelly. I'm a face guy from the Southern Newfoundland office. When he tells me that we are here, I know that I'm going to go to the office beside you. I'm going to find out the opportunity to work for some people. So he is something like that. I'm going to work for people. We're now about to begin with part two.

[87:29]

Humility and gratitude. I receive this great field of happiness robe, assembled and organized by our sewing teacher, Gen Gyoko Tim Wicks, and bearing countless stitches by Tim, Paula, and hands known and unknown to me, each one for refuge, expressing devotion, indeed, the Dharma itself. On the Tassajara Ngawa, I caught a glimpse of Reverend Licha Tentori putting her okesa on. The miraculous power of the kishaya is mysterious and magnificent. Somehow, with that sight, I knew then I would one day sew my own. Today, 20-some years later, I feel the embrace of my lineage through those who taught me. Blanche Hartman, Maya Wender, Linda Gallion, and my first sewing instructor and friend, Roxy Mwazamy.

[99:10]

I vow to cover heaven and earth and all beings with its sacred meaning. Thank you.

[100:41]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. . [...]

[101:46]

Congratulations. I'd like to present a point, a set point, with which I'd like to congratulate Mark on this occasion. O to [...]

[106:22]

I need you to leave me down. God is seeking one. Initially aroused tens of billions of times, reaches the peak of the mountain where the bow was initially made. Your dharma banners flutter in the wind, praising your virtues. Thank you. I wish you all the best as you continue your journey to take care of this sangha.

[107:31]

But please also take very good care of yourself. Congratulations. The bodhisattva gift of fearlessness is a gift of protection and safety by which beings can live and can flourish free from fear. It is fearlessness that the world needs right now. And I can clearly see that it's your fearless practice that brought you here to this precious moment in time and to inspire the sangha with the same fearlessness and courage you bring forth today. The mountain you are ascending is the endless mountain of Dharma, and the clouds, the sun, and the moon cannot touch it.

[108:41]

How can you? And yet you climb, and we are forever blessed that you bring forth the courage, wisdom, and compassion to sit on this high peak, not just for our benefit, but for the benefit of all beings. Dear Michael, you have come from afar to the city of steep hills, to lead this Sangha into its bright future. And even though the mountain you have in front of you might feel at this time as high as Mount Sumeru, like a tiger entering the mountains, like a dragon entering the ocean, nothing can stop you now. Every step you take will be the step of a whole Sangha that is walking this path with you. Please lead us with deep wisdom and radical compassion as we continue on this path of practice. The world is going through times of deep transformation, and the San Francisco Zen Center relies on its leaders to guide this organization with clarity of vision, deep commitment to the Dharma, and endless care and inclusion.

[109:51]

I'm looking forward to working with you in deeply understanding what is needed, not just to keep going, not just to move forward, but to really thrive as a community of practice. Because this suffering world needs us to do so, to make every effort to be strong and healthy in order to provide the bond of Buddha's teaching reaching far and wide in the ten directions. Your fearlessness and compassion brought you here. Having accepted this great responsibility, please allow us to support you in taking care of this temple for the benefit of all beings. Mako, on behalf of the San Francisco Zen Center, nine vows of deep breath, too.

[111:00]

Mako, dear friend, grateful to have known you for a long time before either of us became Buddhist practitioners. It's been more than 25 years. You've been friends, exploring tide pools and redwoods from remote Mexican hot springs. And from the earliest years of our friendship, I've appreciated your intelligence, your spontaneity, and your laugh. We had a lot of laughs together. We lost touch for a little while when we moved into Zen Center. And a handful of years later, when I started on my own meditation journey, I'm so grateful for our early conversations. Your openness, your pragmatism, your care invited me into Buddhist practice.

[112:00]

You helped me see the way my practice already embodied the Buddha, Buddhism. And you deepened my understanding. You introduced me to Zen, which still informs my insight meditation practice. In the Theravada Buddhist tradition, the way of the elders, it's said that to bring a person to the Dharma is the act of a true spiritual friend, a priceless person. And over the many years of our conversations and visits at Tassajara, Austin Zen Center, and here, I've been struck how this spontaneity and openness have matured into the deep capacity to meet each person, each situation, with sincerity, attention, discernment, and care. You've extended the gift of your practice to so many people over these years.

[113:02]

I've seen you meet everything from forest fires to community challenges with integrity, courage, and compassion. I'm happy for this community here that you're offering your spiritual leadership. It takes courage to step into leadership of a Sangha at a time when so many spiritual communities across our country are challenged, recovering, reinventing themselves after the acute phase of COVID. So deep vows for taking this role at this time. And while it's impossible to repay the gift of the Dharma, please accept my continued support and love and friendship. As the Buddha said in his famous story of the acrobats, it's helpful for each of us to look to our own balance, our own balance with mindfulness as a form of care for ourselves and others.

[114:04]

And it's important for each of us to look to each other's well-being through kindness, upright behavior, and consideration. I trust I speak for all of your spiritual friends here, near, and far when I say that we will look to our own balance and offer you that kindness, that consideration, and that care in return. It's a joy and privilege to support your advocacy, your spiritual leadership as a friend and member of the broader community. White clouds have no mind, yet are attracted to mountains.

[116:13]

Although this mountain appears impossibly, excruciatingly high, it abides in ease and endlessly flows. With the help of all of you, the entire universe I vow to investigate this mountain's walking with my whole being for Shakyamuni Buddha, who with his whole practice of these words prevented war over limited resources.

[118:20]

Ah, so happily we live without hate among those who hate. Among people who hate, we live without hate. Ah, so happily we live without affliction among those afflicted by defilements Among afflicted people, we live without affliction. Ah, so happily we live without agitation among those agitated by the pursuit of sense pleasures. Among people who are agitated, we live without agitation. Well, we can see from history that the circumstances of violence and hatred and othering of any kind are always close at hand. Peace originates within our own hearts and minds.

[119:25]

May all beings throughout this and every world system realize that greed, hatred, and delusion are the true enemies of peace, then, now, and for all time. To countless eons of Buddhas and ancestors, I humbly bow.

[120:50]

From Shakyamuni Buddha, through Bodhidharma, Ehe Dogen, Hesok-joki, and the women and men who, through their contiguous practice, transmitted light, even, and especially amidst oppressive, futile times. To Shinri Suzuki, who gave himself so completely, showing us how to settle the self on the self, I humbly bow. And to the San Francisco Zen Center abbots and abbesses, for Zentatsu Baker's wherewithal and tenacity, for Tenshin Red's great care with sentient and insentient beings alike, for Sojin Mel's easy chuckle, and for making time to have lunch with me always, for Zouketsu Norman's everyday wisdom and straightforward wit, for Zenke Blanche's complete selflessness, devotion, and inconceivable joy, for Adrian Linda's Zendo stories, and for teaching me what it means to plight my trough, for Yerushin Paul's warm-hearted, continuous practice and constant contact, for Yogi Steve's acceptance of all parts with steadfast gentleness, for Kika Kristina's ferocious,

[122:15]

for embodied compassion, for Rinso Ed's deep dedication to these temples, and for inspiring the practice of dana paramita in so many people, for Furju Nancy's eloquence and commitment to diversifying the Sangha, and for Tenzin David Zee, for over 20 years of friendship, and for having my back under both mundane and extraordinary circumstances. I humbly bow. You are my teachers, my family, my dead rock. this incense in gratitude to all the members of and donors to this temple and to all temples throughout space and time without your devotion expressed in the wholehearted generous gifts of your time talent and treasure i would not be standing here today and for those of this great sangha who have passed into the tender radiance of the heart of the buddhas we'll meet again

[124:24]

in the place we go when we sit. Thank you for your unbroken teaching and for your forbearance with this lunkhead of a student.

[125:43]

I am forever grateful for the many opportunities I had to be with you, from my first ever Dharma talk here in this room, my first Rohatsu, to the deep valley of Tassahara, where I was your Anja, Jisha, Shuso, and deshi, studying Dogen's teachings in the Hojo, at your kitchen table, and across this world, sitting in a darkened ashram kam zendo, bombarded by leftover music of a deserted wedding, to the streets of your hometown of Belfast. When I asked you about becoming a priest, you compared me to a drunken Brahmin. You showed me the meaning of the name I took from my mother when I inadvertently smashed a glass candle at the start of the morning jindo. It's true grace. And later you gave me a new name, which I continuously aspire to live up to.

[126:47]

May we continue to disport freely in the Dharma endlessly. Thank you. I want to also take this opportunity to thank a few of my many, many other teachers. To Tia, who I am forever grateful for, remembering that fat grin on your face when I was giving my way-seeking mind talk first time ever and talked about my suffering. It touched me beyond measure, inspiring my curiosity and further seeking. If not for the opportunity to study Nagarjuna with you that one summer, I doubt I would have taken up residency and eventually left home. To Leslie. Words cannot possibly express my love and gratitude for all the years that I had at Tassajara with you. Thank you. To Gil.

[127:47]

You probably have little idea just how much your steady and gentle teaching has encouraged me through troubled times. Thank you. And to Reb, swinging doors and circumstances may have kept us apart, but I hold you close in my heart. You are with me every day. And to each of you, I have so much to learn from you, now and forever. Thank you. Oh, I see.

[133:14]

dragons and elephants, let us break forth the Dharma. Give me your questions. We saw last night that this song knows how to care for one another. We also may have learned that there are 108 most important things. Please, how would you point to the heart of the matter? Thank you.

[135:30]

Congratulations. Great congratulations. What are we going to do about the whiteness of this institution? This question is a question that we need to ask ourselves and then find out how to bring that into our activity. call upon Samantabhadra Bodhisattva, find a way to express this dharma for all bodies, for all times. Congratulations. Great. Congratulations.

[136:31]

What does the landscape look like from the top of the mountain? How do you want to change it? Well, I would say it looks pretty white. You know, Hiro, asking how do I want to change it? I want to walk in it for a little while. I want to be able to smell the fragrance, jump over the puddles, get my robes a little wet in the rain. And when the time comes to change, change happens. We ask ourselves what is needed every moment. What is needed in this moment? And it will come.

[137:42]

We can't stop it. How can we support the harmony of difference in equality the closest fits of uniqueness, immunity in this uncle. With every breath that we take, we can inhale acceptance, exhale anything that's extra, and keep breathing it in and asking these questions. What is this? Who is this? And let go of anything else. Extra. Over and over again, this will do, it can't help but harmonize. Thank you for your question.

[138:46]

Congratulations. is the unborn deepest meaning of the body. Allowing ourselves to drop straight through the floor and pop out on the other side of the universe. Congratulations.

[139:53]

Great congratulations. You've lived and practiced outside this temple, and now you've returned. What have you brought with you from the dusty world outside this gate? there's a lot of things I've left behind. I'm not talking about my ACL. But I hope that, you know, I know that I'm bringing experiences that I can't even come, that I can't even recall right now. But they will emerge as I step forward. Don't know what they are.

[140:56]

Trust that they will happen. Be awake for them when they do. Thank you. Congratulations. Great, congratulations. There's been talk of this new generation of abbots that are young and not from the original generation. How will you ensure that the dharma of this temple is compelling and relevant and really meets the needs of a new generation of practitioners while being in touch with tradition and those who have come before us? heard that our seniors would be leaving within the next year, two years.

[142:00]

Sometimes when people would say this, they would say it as if this was a good thing, because it was going to make room for the next generation. And I have to admit that that was not the case for me. When I heard this, I cried. And I felt the loss, just thinking of how many years of practice and energy would not be, like, down the hall. I don't know if I'm, I don't think of myself as the next generation. I think David said it when he stepped up, like, you know, I'm over 50. But yes, yes, next generation. I do know it's a different, I come from a different generation. I come from the generation of, like, breakfast club, but I didn't come from the 80s, which, you know, sadly, people in the generation after me look upon that generation and think that we really had it good.

[143:10]

You did. To ensure that... the next generation, incoming generations, the younger generations, feel like they have a place here is top of my mind. Whether this question of what is true welcoming is top of my mind. Not in a, I'm going to set up the place in a way that's going to attract people. I think that That's not my style. But in a true welcoming way of inquiry, curiosity, playfulness, and respect. That's how we welcome the next generation.

[144:11]

Congratulations. Great, congratulations. This next statement is called the backbone. And it's supposed to be my, an expression of my understanding of Zen. I tried to write this statement.

[145:20]

I thought about it. I thought about it. I thought about it some more. And I think I may have written something, but actually, what I really felt was I can't write this statement down because I'd just be fabricating something. Really, what I wanted was to ask my students, what do you think the backbone of my Zen is? Because I can speak about it, I can prioritize some things over others, but really, how do I live? How do I show up? That said, I did ask a few people and they said, oh. So into this backbone, I turned to my backbone, the center of my body, like the center of a top spinning, it's constantly moving, it's ever changing.

[146:24]

And yet there's a stillness there. In this case, the stillness comes around these questions of how do we live our daily life? What is most important for every situation that we step into? What is most true? And for me, what comes up is this curiosity, turning to what's happening with this openness, this wonder, finding the preconceptions and judgments that come up, of course they do, we're human, letting them go, turning again, welcoming everything, welcoming whatever it is that is arising, allowing it to be just as it is,

[147:27]

and respecting it for what it is. To do this over and over and over with every single arising, I think that's a good backbone to have. I think I'll settle with that for right now. Thank you for sharing your hearty laugh, wide smile, and playful yet profound way. The gifts you have given us are beyond measure, especially the gift of your presence here today.

[148:34]

Thank you, too, for always welcoming me at Rinso Inn. despite my continued failure to learn how to speak my own mother's tongue. Someday I will make the effort, hopefully in this lifetime. Until then, and beyond, may your good health and the health of your family continue. those of you who don't know, I left Tassajara back in 2012. I'd been there for 10 years. I had a one-way ticket to Asia.

[149:37]

I left not wanting to know what was next. Really not wanting to know. So when people said, would you do this, would you do that? No. I don't want to know yet. Give me a little bit of time to not know. Somewhere along the way, The invitation came for me to go to Austin to become co-tanto with my then partner at the Austin Zen Center. I didn't want to do it. I wanted to stay in Cambodia and help Beth Goldring with her AIDS hospice project. But as things turned out, I did. I did go to Austin. And... I've been in Austin for the past 10 years and through so many joys and horrors and struggles and triumphs, I grew roots there. It took me about four years before I felt like when I went back to Austin, that was home.

[150:40]

Now I'm here and I have to credit, actually credit Norman For one night, one time at Tassajara, for years, I would take every opportunity when Norman would come to Tassajara, and he would say, you know, during great stays, stay, stay at Tassajara. Many people said this, stay at Tassajara as long as you can. Sometimes it's hard to, when you leave, it's hard to come back. Some of you are nodding. Well, one time, After I had been at Tassajara for, I don't know, maybe eight, nine years, I went to see Norman, and he said, you should leave Tassajara. I said, in fact, you should leave Zen Center. And then, you know, go do something else. Go do something else for 10, 20 years. But when Zen Center asks you to come back, say yes. Come back. So I did.

[151:45]

But I have to say that, like I had developed my roots in Austin, I feel like a plant that's been ripped from the ground. I'm not dead, but my roots have like, coming back to San Francisco, coming back to this community, the roots are still finding their nourishment. So they're still looking. I know they'll find their nourishment. But I can feel like, where's that? So please, I know that all of you here in San Francisco will help me. And I know that all of you in Austin are rooting for me as well. And I am rooting for you. Thank you. Years ago, when I was a graduate student in analytic philosophy, a friend gave me a copy of Zen Flesh, Zen Bones.

[153:08]

I casually flipped through it and then summarily dismissed it out of hand as it made no sense to me whatsoever. A few years later, I had moved to San Francisco and I was looking for a Buddhist Sangha to practice with. I had been meditating for years, but not in a Buddhist tradition. I remember deliberately avoiding the Zen tradition because I couldn't bear the thought of koans at all. Through years of training here, here at Tassajara and in Austin, my understanding is still regrettably shameful. That said, some koans have managed to work their way into my flesh and my bones. What follows is not one of them. Great Master Tozan was once asked by a monk, when cold or heat come our way, how are we to avoid them? The master replied, why don't you proceed to the place where there is no heat or cold? The monk then asked, what is that place where there is no heat or cold?

[154:14]

The master answered, when it is cold, my acharya, give yourself up to the cold. When it is hot, my acharya, give yourself up to the heat. Dogen said, if this greatest cold does not penetrate into our bones, how will the fragrance of the plum blossoms pervade the entire universe? Today, I have these words. Although there is no escape and no person is born who does not grow old or weak or die, and the great way does not belong to nor does it depend upon our directing ourselves towards or away, there is still something utterly sweet in Zhajo asking Masu, how will I know if I don't try? Is there any place on this earth unaffected by climate change, any population that is immune from disease?

[155:16]

The easy answer to this koan, of course, is let the heat kill you. Let the cold kill you. But before we go there, can we rest in where we are? And sometimes where we are is actually the struggle. The no, this is not okay. Between knowing and not knowing lies boundless curiosity and a good measure of kindness. It is not another kind of knowing, like knowing the answer to a koan. We may very well exert ourselves to exhaustion until there is no other choice but to completely give over. And yeah, only then will we be able to feel the drum straight through our bones. So, if you have a chance, let your bare feet freeze to the ngawa. Catching a glimpse of Hojo-san running late from the bathhouse,

[156:23]

May well be worth it. As a freshly beginning Zen student here, somehow I got the impression that I shouldn't try to learn any of the forms. unless I was specifically asked to or instructed to, so I purposefully made no effort to learn anything. I also gathered that one of the primary practices was to just say hi to whatever was asked of me. At some point, I ran into Blanche in the stairwell. She was holding a bell striker in her hand, and she said, you've been around a while. Would you be do on for the rest of the day? Hi. I said... Needless to say, I made such a mess of things that the head monk sat glaring at me for the next whole period of zazen as I sat resolutely facing out into the zendo.

[157:32]

Something only abbots are authorized to do. Needless to say, service was a mess. However, today, even though I still have that spirit, I think, I think I've learned a couple things along the way these last years. My saying yes this time around may go more smoothly. We are all, all of us in this together. I look forward to practicing here with you. Thank you all for sitting so patiently for so long. I come, oh, oh, oh, oh. There are so many people to thank, and I want to be quick.

[159:54]

But my apologies for however long this takes. I want to really thank the sangha here, the students, the residents, the staff, especially the Eno, the Tenzo, the kitchen crew, the Shikha crew, general labor. and all the many volunteers who worked so long and so hard to make this weekend happen so beautifully. Thank you for your practice. As we heard this morning, this is what we do. This is practice. Specifically, I want to thank a couple of staff members to Brent, Roger, and May for enduring my many endless questions, helping me get resettled and reacquainted with San Francisco.

[160:56]

To the Rioban, to the Jishas, to the whole Don Rio, thank you. To Abbot David, who somehow managed to make being the master of ceremonies look almost effortless, while also being the inviting Abbot. Thank you. to my family, to my mother, for giving me the name she left behind in Japan, for sacrificing everything for the sake of her children's education, for allowing me to take care of her in her final year of life, to my father for his willingness to drive me to the mall whenever I wanted to, to endure my yammering for long trips to grandma's house, And for loading his martini with olives that I would plunder. And for his terrible dad puns. For Diana, for loving him.

[161:58]

To my sister Anne, for being my role model in more ways than I can count. To my brother, Henosuke, Jonathan, for being the baby brother that I always wanted. And I wish I had more time to spend with. To my niece Kyoka for her angel eyes and her Rambo form. To my brother-in-law Rich for being my dear friend and fellow philosopher. To Don for our very long friendship, our travels and late nights discussing the Dharma, especially the compare and contrast between traditions. To all of my dear Kalyanamitta, my Zen friends and others, and to all my non-Zen friends, both old and new, for whom all of this must seem very peculiar, to the Texans, Dalen, Choro, you're a Texan now, Colin, true Texan, Koji, to the Austin Zen Center Sangha,

[163:15]

Thank you for supporting me to come here. And with particular thanks to Choro, for holding the Sangha. I would not come if it were not for you. And for Shu, for sharing his many talents and gifts. And to all of my students, for teaching me how to show up. And finally, lastly, for my husband Joel, for supporting me in so many more ways that I can enumerate so thoroughly, for letting me drag you here, and for rolling with all the unforeseen consequences of doing so. Thank you. listening to you and reflecting on how this moment reflects so many previous moments.

[164:34]

This one came to mind. We were walking up the road at Tassajara. It was a winter evening. It was during the bath exercise time. you said to me something like this. And then I leaned over and I kissed him. And I said, you did what? I said, you compared me to the button. Then I reflected some more. Maybe that moment had a significant contribution to the staff being in your right hand.

[165:42]

Maybe that moment had a significant contribution to raising your left foot and putting it on this step. to ascend this mountain sea. Maybe that moment had a significant contribution to the peak of this mountain . Maybe that moment had a significant contribution to the white clouds, they dance, Maybe, maybe not. But still, the view from the mind kicks in the big picture.

[166:46]

May it always be so. Congratulations, great congratulations. Congratulations, Shinsan. Thank you for letting me participate in such a wonderful Shinsan Shiki Mountain Seek Ceremony. You kind of made me think that I'd like to do Shinsanshi again. No, I might not do. No, I'm 83.

[167:51]

Yes. diverse years says, we have a chance to do that. And Austin Zen Center sends you their warmest resolutions and love. sibling and the great practice family we share. Amazing how the teaching of interdependence is manifested. It's manifested in how around and around our lives entwined yours and mine and so many others.

[168:59]

To me and I'm sure myriad of persons Visiting Tassajara in the summers, starting over 20 years ago, passing through city center on my way there and back, doing practice periods at Tassajara, you were always there. I, and we, saw you year after year, taking up various roles in turn. Work leader, Ido, Kenzo, director, priest, Chusot, practice leader, and teacher. I saw this steady practice of supporting others and Zen centers functioning and your warm offering, excuse me, your offering of warm, hearted, energetic practice. So much energy and that pleading. Your deep love of the Dharma expressed through your many gifts of heart and mind.

[170:01]

And I, at least, marveled at how you were able to step away when it became clear it was time to leave. And to leap into the wide world, straight from Pasajara to San Jose Airport and to Asia with your one-way ticket, traveling for a year. I followed you on your blog, as did many others. And after many adventures, you came to Austin to support the temple founded there by Shumbo Zegke, Blanche Hartman. And our collective karma being what it is, I found my way to Austin, encouraged by your example, which encourages so many. And hoping I could be of service to the Sangha there, you warmly invited and welcomed me and offered me a place to practice, to express my own vows and to continue my training. And I know that many others experience that kindness and acceptance.

[171:03]

You supported me in my dharma transmission with practical advice and with your presence in the culminating ceremonies. And I married you and Joel. I look forward to many years of learning from you and sharing practice responsibility with you. And then you answered a call to come back to Zenfitter. Our vows have brought us to our respective positions in the great practice mandala of right now. I know how fortunate Zen Center is to have you, especially at this time of major transition. You have the gratitude and best hosts and wishes of us all in taking up your position, where you come full circle with rich experience, in addition, from years away from here. Our heads are on fire, oh Amit.

[172:06]

We are pulling for you. I stand here as an outsider. I'm probably the only person who is a part of the practice, so. I'm one of those people, they were talking, it was not the same people you were talking about. He was like, what is going on here? But I was asked to speak on behalf of the family and was told that I should come up with an anecdote. I am the person who knows Marco the longest. And I thought, there's a lot of good things I could say. But I was also told that I shouldn't say anything too embarrassing. So I won't... But a little bit of context.

[173:07]

First, I'm five years older. I'm the older sister. And when we were growing up, we were brought up with what I call loosely Catholic. We went to church on Sundays, but mostly because this grandmother that she always wanted to go see cowed our father to making us go to church. She was a scary look, our grandmother, and so he made us go to church. At the time, as a preteen, I was fairly religious in a very simplistic way. I believed that there was this old guy in heaven, and that if I followed the rules, that he would protect me. And it was, back then, it was he. I think that was God's pronoun back then, I'm not sure. But I was, in that simple way, religious, and I thought following the rules was pretty important.

[174:07]

Mako was six or seven at this time. She was bratty. She stole stuff from me. She asked our parents. She did not follow the rules. I thought our parents were doing a terrible job in raising her little mentally upward person. So I stepped in. I thought, infinite big sister wisdom, I started having Bible study sessions with her. I thought to come, and I sat her down with all our stuff and girls, and I read to her from a children's Bible I had stories, and I quizzed her, and folks, that somehow, And I was doing what my parents were obviously not doing, and I would save her soul. At the time, I didn't know at the time that she was a really good person.

[175:16]

I didn't need to save her soul. She was a good person in the way that it mattered. Not in this superficial short, you know, she could steal my stuff and whatnot, but in the way that it really mattered. And Mako has what our mother always said. And our mother was not wanting to give out compliments. I'm not even sure if she told Mako this. But she told me Mako had a good heart. She always said Mako had a good heart. And she was right. And I want to give two examples of Mako's good heart. First is, I think, When she was in college, our grandmother, the scary one, fell and broke both of her wrists, and Mako dropped everything to go and live with her and care for her. She fed her, she bathed her, she drove her to doctor's appointments, and then she did the hardest thing of all, she made her do her physical care.

[176:23]

I could never have done that. But somehow, She was able to get the cantankerous old woman to do her physical care, and she was there for our grandmother. The second one is our mother. When she was diagnosed with stage four liver cancer, it was Mako first flew back and forth from Austin to Baltimore. just to beat up her doctor's appointments because, well, my mother needed someone to explain things to the doctor and to explain things to my brother, what was going on. That went on for a while. And then Banco and Joel brought her to Austin to stay. And this was her last year of life. She and he cared for her did everything. It was a very difficult time.

[177:28]

As much as I love my mother, she was a very difficult person to live with. And especially at the end of her life, she was angry. I think the cancer was doing something to her mind. And she had paranoia. And she had paranoid accusations that she made about Marco Angel. And yet, through all this, Marco cared for him. And that was just so much about . So, I want to congratulate you. I guess deep congratulations. Deep congratulations. But before, I want to make a statement that our brother, who is in Japan, to pronounce his name, or Penosuke.

[178:43]

I'm the only one of our family that didn't take a Japanese name. I'm not sure what's going on there. I'm not even sure if I pronounce it correctly. But this is from him. While Zen Buddhism is deeply rooted in Japanese culture and an integral part of the society's collective psyche, its true essence is nearly impossible to capture with mere words. This is why Mako's dedication to the practice and her commitment to sharing the vast knowledge and experience she's accumulated is something I truly admire. Our mother also would have been extremely proud to see Mako's devotion to Zen Buddhism in his book. With that, Congratulations. Hi, darling. Long before you were invited to come at it, I was trying to learn the Aureolian forms at the Austin Center.

[179:44]

Actually, I'm still trying to learn it. But I was there trying without success to try the final knot. I was getting proper flustered, and I was letting everyone know about it. If I recall correctly, I might have even wondered something about how I had come looking for Daoist sorcery, though so far I had only found flower arrangements and pedantic napkin falling. I remember that upon seeing my frustration, and without saying any single word, came across the room, sat next to me so that we were facing the same direction, rolled up their sleeves, and then the patient ate up his drink. part with which I've been struggling. It was not successful. I'm not the sharpest tack. In the box, all softness, none of the depth of the result. But I share this story here as something that has stuck with me over the dirt because it captures something of the essence as I have experienced. Coming alongside, facing things together, rolling up your shoes and patiently demonstrating

[180:51]

May you always be close enough to your practice to be able to show up like this for others. But as much of an impression that that made on me personally, that is far from the only time that I have been fortunate to see how we look after beings, how you type up a space, and the way that you sometimes seem to know your flowers wake. In my hard mind, I can still see how tenderly you care for your mother as a prophet. And then you get after when you lost your body. I recall all of the times that I've watched you rack your brain to come up with a perfect gift for someone. I so often observed the way that you naturally bring ease to those in distress. And I've watched your face very closely when someone tells you how they hurt. Unfletching, clear-eyed, compassionate. May we all be so fortunate to endure that kind of visage when they start suffering. And yet, not always so, right? Moon-faced Buddha also arises.

[181:53]

The lights dim. The curtains fall. The bodies fall apart. The phone call never comes, or worse, does. Must it really be fall down seven times and stand up eight? Not to be too literal here, but that last fall required reconstructive surgery. You're still recovering. And yet, somehow, you still say yes. Yes to this way of life. Yes to your vows. Yes to this practice. Yes to Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. And now, yes to this mountain. You know, when I asked you if you felt you were ready for all this, you said, how could I? But then it's not really about me. And even to the ears of this dilettante dabbler, that sounded just about right. Okay. Okay, so it's not about you. or me, or us, or them. It's a lot bigger than that.

[182:55]

It's ineffable. It can't be effed. Well, all right. All right. I hope it goes without saying that you have my unconditional love and support for, well, all of this. And looking around this room at Buddha's ancestors gathered here to support you as well, it seems that they are creepy. with you on the mountain. I know that San Francisco is . My wish for you today in the words of Rilke, may you be almond and sulfur closed and brewing sweet. If you need me, I'll be just over there, tending to the kiddies and likely cutting the asparagus too big. Congratulations. Thank you.

[188:37]

You know, they've got so much time to eat. They've got good towels. They're very good towels, okay? Yes. Eat. Talk. Eat. Give me. One drop. One. Thank you. Take that. Take that. Thank you. Thank you. .

[190:03]

. [...] I'll take you. I'll take you. Thank you. Pardon me? That's Laura. Laura Birdman. Laura Birdman? Yeah. It's been a long day. Yeah, I'm just familiar. I don't remember the kind of thing. Really? Something?

[190:57]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_21.47