This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. Greetings, bodhisattvas. A funny thing just happened. I was watching the captioning of the introduction, and instead of ordaining as a priest, it said she's been dancing as a priest since 2018 or whatever it was. Anyway, dancing as a priest. Tonight I am going to talk about Dharmagate's You know, we say in our bodhisattva vows, Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. So what are Dharma gates?

[01:01]

How do we recognize them? How do we enter them? And how do we create conditions that make it easier to recognize them and easier to enter them? And also, how can we help each other deal with these Dharma gates? And recently, I've been reflecting on something about our language, that we have some of the same words for feelings that we have for practices. For example, to feel patient or not is different from to practice patience or not. But these are easy to confuse. Is our practice about trying to control or change how we feel? You know, like in the way a Buddhist statue looks like they're feeling very serene? Or is it about our intention or our actions, our conduct? And I think even our Buddhist language contributes to the confusion.

[02:06]

For example, in the Metta Sutta, which you guys chant and we chant over here in Berkeley too, we hear that what should be accomplished is is, you know, dot, dot, dot, to be without pride, easily contented and joyous. So that sounds a lot more like suggestions about how we are supposed to feel, actually. And often it seems like when we're in a stuck place in our practice, it's because we're judging ourselves by how we're feeling. Oh, I'm feeling so impatient. I'm such a bad Zen student. So I'm going to circle back to this question. a little bit later in my talk. And I know that some of you are in a class series that's taught by Linda Ruth Cutts where you're studying the Vimalakirti Sutra. And so Nancy suggested I take something from that sutra as my topic because she knows that I've been in a little group.

[03:10]

Throughout the pandemic, I'm in a small group study group that's reading through the Vimalakirti Sutra. And actually we're just about to the end now, close to the end. And I'm going to take as my jumping off point a few sections from chapter 8 and 9. I wasn't able to hear the talk. that was given last night, so I don't know where she got to, but I very much doubt that she got to chapter 8 and 9. Chapter 8 is called The Family of the Tathagatas, or another translation calls it The Seeds of Buddhahood. Perhaps it's something like the DNA of our practice or something. And chapter 9 is titled The Dharma Door of Nonduality. And many people know there's a very famous exchange at the very end of Chapter 9, but I'm not going to be exploring that today.

[04:12]

I'll leave that for Linda Ruth. I'm going to talk about a few parts before the dramatic finale of Chapter 9. And as many of you probably know, this Mahayana Sutra is a popular one in the modern era for several reasons. One, it's relatively short, and there's a lot of action, a lot of dialogue, a lot of drama throughout it. And it upends many of our ideas and presumptions about basic Buddhist teachings, particularly what we think of maybe as the early teachings and the early Buddhist personages. And the story centers around this illustrious lay adept student of the Buddha, Vimalakirti, who is shown in the sutra to have a really transcendent understanding of the Dharma, in spite of or maybe even because of being a lay follower.

[05:14]

And much of the sutra is framed as a dialogue between Vimalakirti and the Bodhisattva Manjushri, who is a major figure in our Zen schools. And all this drama happens in the presence of countless... Arhats and bodhisattvas. And, you know, as I know some of you know all this, but I'm going to say it for those who may not. The arhat was like an early version of an enlightened person. And the bodhisattva is the Mahayana ideal of the enlightened person. The bodhisattva really means awakening being or enlightening being. So first, I'm going to read you a section from Chapter 8, The Family of the Tathagatas. Then, the Lichavi Vimalakirti. Lichavi is the town where he was from. The Lichavi Vimalakirti said to the crown prince, Manjushri, Manjushri, what is the family of the Tathagatas?

[06:21]

Manjushri replied, Noble sir. The family of the Tathagatas consists of all basic egotism, of ignorance and the thirst for existence, of greed, hatred, and delusion, of the four misapprehensions, of the five obscurations, of the six sense media, the seven abodes of consciousness, the eight false paths, the nine causes of irritation, and the ten evil actions. Such is the family of the Tathagata. In short, noble sir, the 62 kinds of convictions constitute the family of the Tathagatas. And maybe we could call those the 62 types of habit energy, perhaps. I love the idea of the nine causes of irritation, and I was not able to find anything about what it was, but then during the dencho, I suddenly got the idea that maybe, even though there's no footnote,

[07:23]

In the book, maybe it's in the glossary, and it is. And the nine types of irritation, which are also in another translation, the nine sources of anxiety, they either caused, are causing, or will cause wrong to me. They either caused, are causing, or will cause wrong to a one dear to me. or they have served, are serving, or will serve my enemies. Those are the nine causes of irritation. Anyway, that was interesting. I didn't relate to the actual meaning, actually, so much. I had a different idea of what maybe the nine causes might be. And maybe you could come up with nine causes, too. Maybe we could put together... assemble a list. So anyway, to continue with the sutra, Vimalakirti says, Manjushri, with what in mind do you say so?

[08:32]

And Manjushri replies, noble sir, one who stays in the fixed determination of the vision of the uncreated is not capable of conceiving the spirit of unexcelled perfect enlightenment. And that's a lot of words, but I'll say it again, maybe more simply. One who stays stuck in the realm of emptiness is not capable of conceiving the spirit of unexcelled perfect enlightenment. And that kind of makes me think of the line in the Zen poem we chant, Sandokai, where it says, merging with principle is still not enlightenment. So one who... stays or gets stuck in oneness is not capable of conceiving the spirit of enlightenment. However, one who lives among created things in the minds of passions without seeing any truth is indeed capable of conceiving the spirit of unexcelled perfect enlightenment.

[09:47]

Flowers like the blue lotus, the red lotus, the white lotus, the water lily, and the moon lily do not grow on the dry ground in the wilderness, but do grow in the swamps and mud banks. Just so, the Buddha qualities do not grow in living beings certainly destined for the uncreated, but do grow in those living beings who are like swamps and mud banks of passions. As seeds do not grow in the sky, but do grow in the earth, so the Buddha qualities do not grow in those determined for the absolute, but do grow in those who conceive the spirit of enlightenment after having produced a Sumeru-like mountain of egoistic views. Without going into the great ocean, it is impossible to find precious, priceless pearls. Likewise, without going into the ocean of passions, it is impossible to obtain the mind of the omniscience.

[10:54]

Or in another translation of that last line, if you do not enter the great sea of earthly desires, you can never acquire the treasure of comprehensive wisdom. So this is saying that the Dharma Gates that we chant about all the time are basically all of our feelings. thoughts and impulses, all of our beliefs and our habit energy. These are the Dharma doors, which brings us to chapter 9, the Dharma door or the Dharma gate of non-duality. So chapter 9 begins with Vimalakirti asking all of the assembled bodhisattvas, good people, please explain how the bodhisattvas enter the Dharma door of non-duality. And what follows is 31 bodhisattvas' answers to that question. And each one describes a very specific Dharma door.

[11:56]

And all these bodhisattvas have great names like Dharma Freedom, Virtue Guardian, Unblinking. So I'm just going to share a few of these doors. I recommend going and reading them. But I'm just going to... share a few with you tonight. The Bodhisattva virtue peak says, defilement and purity constitute a duality. If one sees the real nature of defilement, then there is no characteristic of purity, and one accords with the extinction of characteristics. This is to enter the Dharma gate of non-duality. The Bodhisattva wonderful arm declared, bodhisattva spirit and disciple spirit are two. When both are seen to resemble an illusory spirit, there is no bodhisattva spirit nor any disciple spirit. Thus, the sameness of natures of spirits is the entrance into non-duality.

[13:00]

The bodhisattva lion declared, bondage and liberation are two. By means of the diamond-like wisdom that pierces to the quick, Not to be bound or liberated is the entrance into non-duality. The Bodhisattva universal guardian said, I, I, and not I form a dualism. But when one cannot grasp even I, how can one grasp not I? One who has seen into the true nature of I will no longer give rise to these two concepts and in this way enter the gate of non-duality. The bodhisattva jewel crown monarch said, the correct way and the erroneous way constitute dualism. But one who dwells in the correct way does not make distinctions like this is erroneous and this is correct. By removing oneself from both, one may thereby enter the gate of non-duality.

[14:04]

So in this... Maybe this is obvious. The doors to non-duality are all dualities. Find a duality and you find a Dharma gate. So often it seems like in our practice when we can't find the gate, we've walked right past it or stumbled past it and we're kind of banging our heads on the wall next to the gate, you know, next to the door. And each of us has our own version of these dualistic patterns, the ones we especially tend to get caught in. just like the bodhisattvas in the sutra. So now I want to return to my questions about feelings and practice. In the process of preparing this talk, I've concluded that the topic of feelings and our practice is vast, huge. No wonder feelings have their own skanda. I really understand that now. And one thing about feelings, they change by themselves, actually.

[15:07]

They're among the most fluid of all happenings. There's that famous story of the empty boat. A person in a boat sees another boat coming towards them, about to hit them. And then they get angry at the driver of the boat and start yelling and waving their arms, wait, get out of the way, be careful, until the boat gets close enough that they see that there's no one driving the boat. It's empty. and then the anger melts away. At least sometimes it melts away. And feelings also, they contain a lot of information, but not necessarily the information that they seem to be telling you. For example, when I get very angry with someone, the feeling may seem to be telling me to chew that other person out. But the information, might actually be, oh, that's weird. I think I've got this person mixed up with my mother somehow. You have to look deeply to see the information contained in our feelings.

[16:14]

You know, we have feelings about what matters to us, and what matters to us is subject to change. It may not be as fluid as these individual fleeting feelings, but it definitely evolves. And of course, it always matters to human beings that we are safe and we usually need to feel we belong. But even that is not so simple. You know, we can feel that we're safe when we're not safe and we can feel unsafe when we actually are. So feelings are definitely not to be ignored. They are truly amazing Dharma gates. mentioned earlier, there's a tendency to judge our feelings. Some of us, even a sort of default, whatever it is, I shouldn't be feeling this way. You know, whatever the feeling is, I shouldn't be feeling this way. That voice pops up so easily for many of us. So using the example of impatience, I may feel impatient.

[17:22]

And the next thought, you know, oh, I'm such a bad Zen student. I shouldn't be feeling this way. And then, you know, for me, there's a sense of kind of a slide down, like a sense of despondency when my critical voice is taken over. You know, and that critical voice is just always there evaluating what's happening. It's designed to be dualistic. You know, is it thumbs up or thumbs down on the story of me? Am I, you know, if it's thumbs up, then I feel good. I feel a lift. I'm a good person. I'm okay. I'm loved. I matter. And then the critical voice comes in and I'm reproaching myself when I screw up or do something wrong. Then there's this lie down, this sad feeling. Or maybe for some, my critical voice doesn't tend to be so harsh as some of the people I've talk to about it some people it's more of a cowering feeling that you have when your critical voice kicks in and each of these is a gate actually so the impatience is a gate my self-reproach is a gate the downward slide is a gate because the gates are what is always available whatever is happening and

[18:50]

We're never very far from the gate if we can only turn towards what is happening. And then what happens when we go through the gate? Well, it's exactly the same on the other side of the gate, except that whatever's happening is being held by big mind. Big mind is holding it all, and that's the non-duality. It's all held in oneness. All the feelings, all the self-reproach, the critical voices, all my confusion, my discouragement, my feeling totally lost sometimes, whatever it is, big mind is holding it all. It's always holding it. And when we go through the gate, we join in that holding. So this is how we recognize the gates. They're always exactly whatever's happening.

[19:53]

That's what the sutra is saying to me. We don't need to get to any better place, a more enlightened place. Just exactly where we're at right now is enough. It's the right place to be for practice. So then, how do we enter the gate that is before us? Sometimes just with a pause. Sometimes a pause and three breaths, perhaps. A pause where we remember our vow to hold our habit energy and not act on it. but to step forward with precepts or with paramitas. Sometimes a teacher or a good friend can remind us, and sometimes we remember after a bit of flailing around.

[20:59]

Then the flailing around can be the reminder and the gate. So, I mean, in a sense, the experience, the reminder, and the stepping through the gate, they're not necessarily separate things the way I'm talking about it. So a word about big mind. For me, big mind, this is going to mess up the metaphor because I tend to connect with big mind by imagining I'm stepping back into big mind as the thing that's holding everything. It feels to me like something that's behind me. But maybe for you, It's to step above everything, you know, like the eagle's eye view, or below everything, like the fundamental. One of the practice leaders at Berkeley Zen Center, Ron Nestor, once said, you know, other people talk about getting in touch with their higher power, but in our practice, we're really getting in touch with our lower power.

[22:06]

You know, out of our heads, into our bodies, our hearts, and our haras. And maybe for you, big mind shifts around. Or maybe it's not even a physical thing. It's good to get to know what big mind feels like to you. I want to say one more thing about these gates. We have to enter the gate ourselves. We have to choose to enter them ourselves. which to me is always in an interesting tension with the idea that we have no self. But somehow I have to spin my straw into gold. No one can do it for me. And once I've spun it, I can share it with everyone. And, you know, we can support each other. We can, as they say in chaplaincy, we can come alongside each other.

[23:07]

We can encourage each other. We can inspire each other. You know, in fact, sometimes just seeing another person making this effort to turn and go through a gate can inspire us to do the same. But ultimately, we each have to step through our own doors of duality. So first we have to notice them, which is actually not completely under our control. But Zazen and mindfulness practices build the muscle that brings us back to right now. In fact, a big part of Soto Zen practice is about strengthening this muscle. Zazen, chanting, bowing to each other. You can write a little verse on a card and stick it on your bathroom mirror every time you brush your teeth. Now, as I brush my teeth... I vow with all beings to meet others with a friendly smile.

[24:11]

You know, you can get yourself some really complicated hand-embroidered clothes and then set up a system where you have to change in and out of them all the time. That's one way to return to this moment. Just like physical exercise, we never stop needing to exercise that muscle. that brings us back to this here and now. And once we're back here now, we have to remember our vow. What is it again? To step through the door of what's happening into the world according to big mind. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[25:17]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[25:20]

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