This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Well, good evening, everyone. It's good to... ...you all feeling really well, and... We have a smaller crowd this evening, and yeah, if you feel like you want to move forward six inches or eight inches or crowd in so we feel a little bit more like family in here, go ahead and do that. I'd like to see you all as we're talking, and it's good to have you all kind of in a little bit of a circle. Good evening to all of you that are out in Zoom land. It's great to have technology so that we can all... be able to be together even if you can't be here in person. So fearlessness.

[01:05]

Fearlessness. Isn't that a great way to feel? What if in every place that you went in your life you could feel fearless? The absence of fear. You know that game that you play where you practice falling and then somebody else catches you and then you learn to let go of a little bit of fear, the fear that you might fall and get hurt. And you learn through that exercise just through some letting go and then somebody else catches you. You lean back and somebody else catches you. And you learn how to let go of that fear in that little tiny way. What if there was something that allowed us to do that on a daily basis in all the other ways where we have fear? The things that creep into our life that causes difficulty and pain.

[02:08]

What would it be like to let go of reputation? Of protecting the self? Of promoting the self? What would it be like to feel like those things were going to be taken care of and they were okay? We've all worried at some point in time about our reputation, about what people feel about us. We've worried about what someone might think if we do that thing or if we don't do that thing. Or if we stand up for what we think is probably right. Or we say that thing that no one's saying that we think probably should be said. What does that feel like inside? What if we were able to engage those things without so much fear and worry tension inside? Fearlessness is the result of letting go of self.

[03:11]

And this is one of the core things that we talk about in Buddhism, is the deconstruction of the self, the letting go of the self, being aware of the lens of the self, how this is encroaching in our lives and in our communication. And in Buddhism, we have precepts, things that we either vow or how we live our life. We have 16 of them that we talk about. is this, not praising self at the expense of others. Now, on the surface, it sounds like a pretty basic thing that, okay, I wouldn't want to say, hey, look at me, and that person over there, they're not so great. We probably wouldn't in such an overt way maybe do that, but take a few steps back from that, and it's very, very easy. to be doing that on a regular basis.

[04:16]

And what is the core of not praising self at the expense of others? It's also translated not praising self and disparaging others. Not putting myself up and putting someone else down. Why would that be one of the core precepts of Buddhism? Because it gets right at the heart of trying to preserve self. It's saying I want to be liked. It's saying I want a good reputation. I want a reputation and it's really important. How you think of me is really important and it's important enough that I shine a spotlight on it. And it's important enough that I have to be aware of other people's faults in order to disparage them. Or to speak poorly of them or to put them down. I actually have to have some sort of an inner monologue to focus on other people's faults in order to be able to articulate them or to act on them.

[05:22]

There has to be some sort of a lens in there that is actually looking at other people's faults. And some sort of a lens in there that is grasping and holding on to a reputation, a self, a desire to be liked. This is essentially being worried about the preservation and the safety of myself in a way that is not healthy. This last Monday, we had a holiday for one of the seminal figures of the 20th century, Martin Luther King Jr. And When you start to unpack his life, you realize that he was a great example of this precept. The goal is never fearlessness.

[06:26]

That is a result. A reputation is not a goal. That is a result. How you live, how you think about others, how you think about yourself, where your mind goes, what you focus on, what's important, That is what we do in our Buddhist practice. Now, here is an individual that was very educated. He left the South, the Jim Crow South, the segregated South, and he went to Pennsylvania. He got another bachelor's degree in theology after he already had one from Morehouse down in the South. And then he goes to Boston University and he starts a PhD program in systematic theology. And he even joins the 12th Baptist Church in Boston, one of the historic black churches in the Northeast. Been around since 1840. And he's a charismatic person and people like him. And he becomes the assistant pastor at age 23 of the 12th Baptist Church in Boston.

[07:27]

And here he is in a place that he could make a life. He could live in the Northeast. Now Boston certainly had its problems. It was not without racism. As the late Bill Russell, who died this year, the basketball player who played for the Boston Celtics and talked about all of the things that he withstood in the 50s and 60s playing basketball in Boston. But still, it was not the hotbed like the Deep South, like Montgomery, Alabama. And what does he do? Well, he gets his degree in theology. He gets his PhD in theology again at Boston University. He could have lived a life that was of a nice reputation. He could have administered to all sorts of people in the community in Boston living in the Northeast and probably would have lived a long life and would have been well-respected in one of the most respected churches. He could have done all sorts of things.

[08:30]

There's one word that I look at over and over again when you read any of the biographies of Martin Luther King Jr. It's the word fearless. He wanted to be liked, but time and time again, he just did what he thought should be done. He was even back in the South in the 50s and 60s advocating for nonviolence when there were many people who were leaders in the black community who wanted to go another direction, who didn't think that what he was doing was correct. And here he was in many cases between the leadership in his own community and the establishment with the white community. And he was saying, yeah, I think this is the way we should go. And over and over and over again, he made choices that you say, wow. With your education and your background, you didn't have to be in the middle of all that. You didn't keep having to stick your head up. Fearlessness. When you learn to let go of reputation and of whether or not people like me, there's a certain power that comes from that.

[09:44]

There's a certain joy and freedom and looseness. a certain clarity of what the moment is actually asking for and how to respond to that moment. I talked before about the inner voice and about noticing what's going on and how I'm seeing myself and how I'm seeing others. If you were to talk to anyone who spent time around Martin Luther King Jr. in his life, one of the key things that they said was that they felt empowered. They felt like their best self was coming out. They felt believed in. And the measure of a person is not what they accomplished, but the effect that they had on the people around them while they were accomplishing it. That's what endures when you die. The impact on the people around you while you were doing your life.

[10:50]

That's the pebble in the pond. That's what ripples out. That's the story that will keep being told. That's the memory, the body memory. That is the thing that will still be there and resonating in the universe after you die. The impact that you had on the people around you. It takes faith sometimes to step out in that way. And to start small. And to get in touch with whether or not inside I feel like my reservoir of social wealth, social capital is tiny or large. Is it vast? Does it need to be protected?

[11:53]

One small mistake and I will not be liked. My reputation is gone. Things are not good. There's a problem. Am I one or two mistakes away from things not being good in my life? And being in touch with that inner sense of that. You know, I think about a classic example that you could think of. at a time when everyone is getting to know who they are as an adult, high school. And I think about the social aspect of high school, and I think about, you know, a classic example of somebody walking through a lunchroom with their lunch tray, and they trip, you know. Now, let's say that the person that trips is, well, light, They're the captain of a sports team. They get good grades. You would think that person, if they trip, you know, they get up and they might laugh it off and their friends might joke with them or whatever.

[12:59]

But, you know, so what? So what? It's a certain looseness and spaciousness in regard to social capital that I can make a mistake. Something can happen in public and it isn't just so. And that's okay. That's okay. And what's it like if the opposite happens? If somebody walks through the lunchroom and they're holding their tray and there's someone who doesn't have a lot of friends. Someone who doesn't fit in that well. And they trip. Sometimes inside, I am that person. So much so, and I don't even realize it. But it's so important to explain. It's so important to get credit.

[14:01]

It's so important to be, no, no, that's not me. You don't understand me. The criticism you gave of me. Even if there's something to learn in there, it's not perfect. It's not just the way it should be. to let go of that the protection of the self the protection of that reputation letting reputation be the impact of my life rather than the goal it's just what happens now there's all sorts of ways in which this could be practiced And I'll just give a couple of examples of things that I've thought of and heard of over the years in regard to this precept, in regard to the inner voice. Because you can't actually have the reaction of, in some manner or another, praising self at the expense of others without some sort of inner voice focusing on ways to promote me, ways in which I'm right, focusing on that.

[15:10]

Or focusing on ways in which other people fall short. Getting in touch with the inner voice and doing an exercise where you think, how do I think of others? Somebody asked me this one time when I was about 30 years old. I'd never thought of it before. But I was a fairly critical person of myself and of other people. And I still struggle with that. And they asked me, if you think of 10 people that you know most closely at work, at home, in your family, and you start listing their character traits, is it easier for you to list things that they fall short in or ways in which they really shine? And I thought about that. And I even did the exercise on a piece of paper, and I wrote down 10 names that just came to me spontaneously.

[16:15]

And then I started writing character traits that just came to mind. And I realized that it was way, way easier for me to write how people fell short, how they didn't measure up, things they weren't good at. I can think of some things people did well, but that's what I had focused on. That's how I was living my life. And that is the example of a fear-based life. Because I'm always assessing ways in which other people might be weak and knowing how I might be able to be protected. I might be able to be strong. I might be able to win in a way that is cancerous. Another exercise is Can I recognize three people today? So the first exercise is an inner exercise. The second one is an external exercise where I think of three people today and I'm going to appreciate how they do something.

[17:27]

Now, what's it like when somebody appreciates how you do something? I mean, oftentimes it makes your day. It makes your week. Someone noticed. Whatever we put our mind on is what gets energy. And doing that exercise for a week, finding three different people every day where you can just appreciate them and say, I really appreciate how you, what have you. In order to do that exercise, you have to be watching the people around you with a positive mindset, thinking of how do I promote them. And you have to be watching. And while you're doing that, you can't be thinking about yourself because you can only be doing one thing at a time. So that starts to get your emphasis. How are other people doing things that are really skillful? How are they showing up in ways that empower and help the people around them? What's it like to energize that?

[18:29]

There's another thing you can do called Who do I not notice? And this is a really powerful one I find. I did this one time after hearing it at a BART station. I heard it here in the temple. It's the game called Who Do I Not Notice? We all have a lens. There's always people that you notice and don't notice. And you don't even notice that until you actually play the game. And you start looking around in a crowd and just thinking, Who do I not notice? I did that at the BART station and I just started looking around and there were people there that if I wouldn't have been intentionally thinking of who do I notice and who do I not notice, I never would have noticed them. And just starting to look at that lens, what is the internal voice? Not praising self at the expense of others. You can't spontaneously praise self at the expense of others without a lens that in some sort of way has been thinking about how I do things well and other people fall short.

[19:38]

And if you're caught in the moment, you might just show what that lens has been doing in the past. And without exercising the muscle in some sort of way, it will just be a reflection of what's happened before. This precept goes to the heart of the Bodhisattva vow. The Bodhisattva, the one who lives for the benefit of all beings, who takes vows to live in a way so that their ripple in the pond is empowering for the people around them. The person that is trying to look at the enlightenment that we talk about in Buddhism as something they want other people to have. The Bodhisattva vow is to be invested in the lives of others and taking great care. about how we speak, act, and promote ourselves and others. This is the Bodhisattva vow. And ultimately, the life choices that it leads us to make. Because you can't make life choices fearlessly.

[20:43]

You can't make life choices that are devoid of being focused on whether or not people like me. unless you have learned to let go of that and live in a different place with a little bit of a different lens. The life choices that Martin Luther King Jr. made were amazing. Time and time again, he steps back into the fire when he could have been safe, when he could have been comfortable, when he already had a great reputation, when people already really liked him. but he was able to see with clarity what the moment called for and how to meet the moment. Fearlessness. As a result of life, not a goal.

[21:43]

A reputation as a result in life and not a goal. The goal is to live for the benefit of all beings. through the honesty of that lens, and learning how to live a fearless life with generosity of spirit for others. Now, it could be said, okay, what about the way that things happen in everyday life, at work and at home and in business and in education and in so many things? It seems like a zero-sum game, like someone has to lose and someone has to win. I'm trying to promote an idea at work. I'm trying to get a job and I put together a resume. What about that? Is it wrong to try to do your best and to get a job or if you're a marketer to try to win the account or if you're playing sports to try to win the game?

[22:47]

No. I think of so many different examples when it comes to sports, but how you play the game. You can think of people who play the game. I think of people like Steph Curry, who plays for our hometown Warriors, and how he plays the game. He makes people around him better. He's friends with everybody on all the other teams. He's known as just a universally nice guy, and all the players that they seem to bring in that sit on the bench, they seemingly get better. People that didn't even do well on other teams, and all of a sudden they're like, wow, that guy, we didn't think he was that good. He's playing on the Warriors somehow, and now he's really good. You see people like that, that are empowering people, that somehow or another, the people around them have their best brought out, their best self gets manifest in the universe. And yet... In some ways, you could say that Steph Curry is playing a zero-sum game.

[23:50]

His team is trying to win. But at the end of the day, he's friends with everybody on all the other teams. Everyone is putting out their best. They're doing their best. Because the goal, actually, at the end of the day for what we're talking about in Buddhism isn't the final score of X thing and Y thing. It's how we met that moment. It was the impact on the people around us. It was how we played the game. And we do it with all of our energy, all of our ability. Not praising self at the expense of others does not mean that I am going to not do my best and intentionally not put my best forward. But it is how it is done. Martin Luther King Jr. put his best forward in very bold, outspoken ways. And he also empowered the people around him. Oftentimes, there is a misperception about Buddhism that we, if we're good Buddhists, we're really quiet.

[24:52]

We don't really ever find an individual voice, and we get along with everybody. Martin Luther King Jr. got in conflicts with a lot of people, and there were a lot of people that he made mad. But if you have not honed that inner voice, if I haven't honed that clarity about where I'm coming from, I might think that I'm, well, this is appropriate. This is the right response to the situation. And I might just be reacting out of impatience. I might be reacting out of anger. And it might not be the right time for the right thing. There was a time in 1955 in Montgomery, Alabama, where a young woman, a black woman, was at the front of the bus, and a white person comes and makes her move to the back of the bus, and she protests, and it gets brought to the attention of many of the leaders in town, certainly Martin Luther King Jr., and people were very angry in the black community about this, and they wanted to bring this case forward.

[25:57]

And they had lawyers in 1942, Thurgood Marshall, you know, the first Supreme Court justice who was black. He was a lawyer in Philadelphia. He brought a case before the Supreme Court, and they wanted him to bring this case before the Supreme Court. And what does Martin Luther King Jr. do? He realizes that this person is a minor, that they don't actually have a great case, and that this is probably inevitable that they'll have another good case pretty soon. So he actually says, no, let's actually not bring this forward right now. He didn't act out of anger. He acted out of clarity. And you could say, well, that's not justice. He was thinking of the big game, the long game. And there were many people who were mad at him and didn't think that was a good choice. And lo and behold, it wasn't. But I forget, six, nine months later, Rosa Parks came along. And that is a case we can probably win and make a real statement with. And that case had a huge impact on the civil rights movement. Being able to find your voice is something that is very important, and Buddhism isn't asking us to not find our voice and to not stand up and say our truth.

[27:08]

But we can do it in all sorts of aberrant ways. If it's coming from a place of fear, of anger, of insecurity, of hatred, of impatience, these things can really cloud. what is appropriate for the moment. Finding your voice. That's an important thing for everyone, to find their voice. And Buddhism is not asking us to have our voice squashed by saying, not praising self at the expense of others. But it's pointing us back directly to that inner voice and what it is that we are focusing on. Moment by moment, day after day, what is it that we are focusing on? They say Zen is the ultimate deconstruction. Myself, the thing that society has asked me to promote.

[28:12]

How to take it apart. And how to take it apart in a way that is healthy. How to take it apart in a way that still has appropriate boundaries. how to take it apart in a way where we don't lose our voice. You can put on the affect of what might be considered Buddhist by being in the corner and being humble and being quiet. And that might be the genuine, honest reflection, or it might just be a manifestation of wanting to be liked. And I think of really powerful people like Thich Nhat Hanh. a very gentle spirit who also did many things in Vietnam to get him kicked out of the country for a very long period of time and put his life in danger and made a lot of people fairly upset. But he had such clarity about when to act and when not to act and what to say and what not to say.

[29:20]

And you could very much say that this was a person who did not praise self at the expense of others. And you could also say someone who very much found his voice. I find these things very encouraging. And this time of year, when Martin Luther King Jr. 's life celebration happens, I always think about the choice that he made and the fact that he could have had such a different life. Probably would have died of old age with a great reputation somewhere in Boston. Probably the pastor of the 12th Baptist Church in Boston. Probably would have written a whole bunch of books and given a lot of speeches and maybe would have gotten involved in politics. But what would have happened to this country? We've got a long way to go. But he jump-started something. that had been simmering for quite a while. And that wouldn't have happened without the way that he embraced his life with fearlessness.

[30:27]

And at the very, very beginnings of this, the very beginnings of looking at my lens, the very beginning of this thing I was telling about, this exercise of looking at how I was looking at other people, I was given this exercise, this very Buddhist, that has to do with the body. And noticing when we are judged, when we are criticized, when we don't get the appropriate credit, when we are looked down upon, when something happens in the universe that's unfair to us. And I'm not talking about in the moment, but afterward, at the end of the day, writing down how it felt in the body, And noticing. Noticing that feedback that I got that wasn't fair. Noticing the criticism that I got that wasn't right. And getting in touch with how my body reacted to it.

[31:32]

Noticing how I felt that in my body. And noticing that it was not my choice to feel that way. Because oftentimes there is a very thin layer of guilt that is on top of how we feel about things when it's not how we think we should be feeling. And there can be all sorts of other residues that might be there. But noticing how you hold it and where you hold it. And as opposed to doing something with it, to just bear your burden nobly. Almost like sitting there in your chair, writing about your experience that day. Noticing how you felt it in your body. I did not choose to feel this way. And letting that be okay.

[32:38]

Letting that be okay. How I feel. letting that tightness be okay, and getting in touch with that response that I have that's protecting the self. And it's not to say that in some sort of moments that there wouldn't be boundaries set and what have you. I'm talking about just... understanding my personal experience because the experience that I have in the moment is something I've inherited from millions and billions of pieces of karma, from my great-grandmother's neurobiology to things that happened in formative years of my life when I was four. All these things come into play and I'm in a situation and I'm in a social interaction and I feel a certain way and I don't want to feel that way. That's what I've inherited from the universe. That is my burden of being a human being. And can I just bear it nobly? Not that I never do anything about the stuff that happens, but just being in touch with, actually learning what it is that's going on and learning it from a very spacious, open sense.

[33:47]

How do I feel inside when I'm protective, I'm defensive, when I want credit, when it's unfair? Not praising self at the expense of others is one of the precepts of Buddhism and it goes to the heart of the human tendency to protect and promote the self in an unhealthy way. There are ways we can practice and develop the muscle to learn to focus on others and how to encourage and empower their strengths. And learning to let go of self-promotion allows us freedom from acting from a primary desire, a primary desire of being liked and allows clarity of sight about what is an appropriate response. Living life like we have infinite social capital. Living life like we have this vast reservoir of wealth.

[34:55]

for the people around us, for their lives and for their promotion. A generous benefactor that has a great freedom of spirit. When we realize that promoting and worrying about the self is a small-minded path that leads to suffering, we start to see our interconnectedness and that none of us win until we all win. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[35:55]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_97.19