is the Wednesday evening Dharma Talk with San Francisco Zen Center tonight coming to you from two of our temples, the city center and Tassahara Zen Mountain Center from the mountain. It is with some special pleasure that I introduce my own teacher as the speaker for the evening, Chin Chi Linda Gallion, who was ordained as a Zen priest by Sojin Mal Weitzman in 2004, received Dharma transmission in 2012 from Sojin Roshi. In addition to being a professional musician and a licensed clinical psychologist, has practiced the Dharma for over 30 years. Linda also practiced at Tassajara for nearly 10 years and recently completed service as the president of Zen Center and has now stepped into the role of head of practice, the Tanto at Tassajara. We can begin now with the Sutra opening verse. Follow along with the verse you see in the chat.

[10:00]

Linda, when you are ready. An unsurpassed, penetrating and perfect dharma is rarely met with even in a hundred thousand million kalpa. having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept. I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. Good evening. Good evening to all of you here at Tassajara as well. Thank you, Kodo, and thank you, Nancy, for inviting me to give this talk. This is really amazing to be in Tassajara and on Zoom from the Tassajara Zendo, where we've all been sitting together for about the last three weeks, which is just amazing.

[11:11]

And then to also be sitting with all of you who are Zooming into the City Center Wednesday evening Dharma Talk. Thank you all so much for being here. So lately I've been reflecting on what we cultivate and what we refrain from as two of the maybe foundational or one of the ways of looking at our foundational practices, doing and not doing. and how these relate to each other and balance each other. And I became really interested in the side of refrain from, the meaning of not doing in our practice. So in the precepts, in the bodhisattva precepts, we recite at ordination ceremonies and every month at the full moon ceremony.

[12:13]

They're in the form of I vow to refrain from or I vow not to. And the first three precepts are the pure precepts. I vow to refrain from all evil. I vow to do all that is good. I vow to live and be lived for the benefit of all beings. And I got to thinking particularly about the first pure precept. I vow to refrain from all evil or I vow not to do harm. So in the full moon precept ceremony, there's a short Dogen commentary after each precept. So we recite, I vow to refrain from all evil. And then the Doshi says, it is the abode of the law of all Buddhas. It is the source of the law of all Buddhas. So this vow to refrain from all evil, this vow not to do harm, is considered to be the abode and the source of the law of all Buddhas.

[13:31]

Wow. That's big. So the law of all Buddhas refers to the Dharma, the truth. the lawful order of the universe as it unfolds and causes and conditions. If you do this, that happens. If you do that, this happens. So this position of refraining from evil, of doing no harm, as the first vow, the first pure precept, says that non-harming is considered primary. foundational in an ethical or spiritual life, and this is true across many traditions and cultures. It reflects the importance of interdependence, our fundamental non-separateness from one another. From an ethical, spiritual perspective, non-harming is the necessary foundation of all our relationships with others.

[14:35]

I recently heard a Hindi woman talking about ahimsa, which means non-harming, in a way I'd never heard before. Not only not doing harm oneself, refraining from causing harm yourself to other people, but also preventing, interrupting, or disrupting harm that is being caused to others. And this was in the context of a conversation about racial and social justice from the point of view of spiritual practice, different spiritual traditions. And this expanded way of looking at ahimsa of non-harming addresses how we manifest our interdependence in positive actions and positive actions, not just refrain from. So this not doing harm and doing good are intimately intertwined. They're not separate. And further, the absence of painful thoughts

[15:41]

about harmful actions or speech that we have done creates a more settled and peaceful ground in which to practice. You know, when we're consumed with guilt or regret or self-justification for our behavior, it can be extremely unsettling and it's hard to let go of. And it's very hard to practice. It's hard to be present. because we're trying so hard to get away from what's actually present, which is the intensity of the feelings that are arising with regard to our actions and our thoughts. So another aspect of not doing is not thinking, because thinking is another form of doing. It's mental activity. So in the Fukan Zazengi, the universal recommendations for Zazen by Dogen Zenji, he says, you inhale and exhale, rock your body right and left and settle into steady and movable sitting position.

[16:58]

Think not thinking. How do you think not thinking? Non-thinking. This is the essential art of zazen. So again, here is not doing as a core practice. Non-thinking is the essential art of zazen. It's not doing something. It's not doing something. It's doing, not doing, thinking, not thinking, non-thinking. And Dogen goes on to say, It's not learning meditation. Zazen, the essential art of Zazen is not learning meditation. It's not about doing. It's simply the Dharma gate of repose and bliss. The practice realization of ultimate enlightenment. So these basic instructions for Zazen are simple, but they're not easy.

[18:03]

And. In my reflections on the meaning and significance of not doing, looking at many different aspects of it, the phrase negative capability came to mind. It seemed familiar, but I couldn't place it. But it caught me somehow. So I looked it up, of course. And I found that the term goes back to the early 19th century to the poet John Keats, who wrote negative capability. is when a person is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason. Negative capability is when a person is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason. So Keats only used this term once,

[19:06]

It was in a letter to his brothers. But the concept has resonated with so many people that has entered the language. If you search for negative capability, you'll find a ton of stuff. And it's all interpretations or extrapolations of what Dogen could have been pointing to. I'm sorry, what Keats could have been pointing to. And here's one commentary that really resonated for me. Negative capability is the ability to not know, to tolerate ambiguity and resist that instinctive need to protect oneself through understanding and control. It is the ability to see the truth of the world through an unfiltered lens, no matter how disturbing or threatening it is, and to abandon beliefs that serve to protect oneself. one's identity and create comfort. The person with negative capability willfully submits to being unsettled by experience, by a person or situation, and embraces the feelings and possibilities that emerge.

[20:22]

This was not from a spiritual side, it was from a blog, and that it seems to really touch that inner place that we're searching for somehow that we both long for and are unsettled by as we turn more deeply into our experience. So why would we want to willfully submit to being unsettled by our experience, by a person or situation and embrace the feelings and possibilities that emerge? because this is the Dharma gate of repose and bliss, the practice and verification of ultimate enlightenment. This is where the juices, this is where the life is. Every experience of the impulse to say or do something harmful has the potential to be a Dharma gate and opening a letting go into a different way of being in the world.

[21:33]

Because every experience of the impulse to protect oneself through understanding and control, through irritable reaching after fact and reason, has the potential to be a dharmagate, a letting go into a different way of seeing the world and of being in relation to it. This impulse to protect, this irritable reaching after fact and reason or whatever, our set of go-to things are to get away out of fix, control, change, the difficult experiences that we're having in any given moment, that's dukkha right there. That's suffering. And it's not the thing itself. It's our relationship to it. How we relate to this experience, this sense, of what's arising in the moment.

[22:38]

So these yucky experiences, these moments of being caught, that can be as intensive as not only being fear, but something like vertigo or nausea or terror or overwhelm, depending on how close it touches to those old wounds around which our defenses and protections cluster. We can practice seeing them, viewing them, not as things that we absolutely should avoid, fix, control, or change by any means necessary, but as pointing to deep suffering that needs to be addressed. Parts of ourselves that are crying out to be addressed. because there's suffering there. There's deeper suffering that we're trying to cover. And if we're getting that close to it, it often means that we're ready to go another step in acceptance, in meeting, in opening, becoming available to us.

[23:58]

And it's our defenses, our usual ways of responding are greatly hindering our potential for peace and freedom. And it's far more difficult to create the world we long for, the beloved community, when we're caught in fear and old stories. So letting go actually means turning toward, not getting away from, becoming intimate, really close, close in, intimate with what we're holding on to and seeing clearly how to release it physically, mentally, and emotionally. To develop this negative capability starts with the body, or I would suggest,

[25:06]

Start with the body. Start by creating the conditions that you need in that moment in order to be able to begin to let go and release. That may be creating a sense of safety, to noticing what's arising, to connecting with the earth, to putting your hand over your heart and just feeling that you're breathing and you're alive. And you're here in this moment, not in the past, but right here and right now. And if you have the space to do that, then you're probably okay, at least for that moment. In that moment, you can find just a little bit of safety. And then you can see what happens next. I think that's really what I had to say tonight.

[26:13]

Thank you very much. May our intention deeply extend to every being and place with the true merit of Buddha's way. Beings are numberless, I vow to save them. Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable, I vow to be coming. Thank you very much, Linda. Thank you to the assembly. Now we will move into a bit of conversation, comments, questions in support of everyone having the best opportunity to speak.

[27:26]

I'll remind us of our practice of move up and move back. That is to take note of who's speaking and who is not. If you tend to speak often, consider moving back. If you don't tend to speak often, consider moving up. And Linda will also be letting me know if there are hands in the Tassajara Zendo, and I can add those folks to the key. So please feel free to raise your Zoom hand if you're here in the Zoom room with us. Odo, we have a hand here.

[28:51]

May I call on Dan? Please. Thinking about how to know what is harmful is an important part of avoiding harm. I wonder how that feeling of discomfort or relates to being able to discern what's harmful. Thank you. I'll repeat the question. So, Dan, you were asking about how to discern what's harmful and how that might be related to the feeling of discomfort in doing harm. It's a great question. Thank you. I think there are many ways of discerning what is harmful.

[29:55]

There are the traditional teachings, which offer the grave precepts, not to kill, not to steal, not to lie, et cetera. The golden rule is another. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. And I think... The related rule is called the platinum rule, which is do unto others as they would like to be done unto. Basically, the grammar is not very good because what we would do for ourselves isn't always what might be harmful or helpful to another person. So I think checking in internally, but also empathy. Sometimes the uncomfortable feelings that we have when we've caused harm are primarily because we're aware that we've done something that caused harm to someone else.

[31:06]

And sometimes they're more inner focused that we're afraid we've caused harm to someone else. And we don't really know. Or we're projecting our own experience on others. So there can often be a mix of both because our empathy is always, it's always growing, but it always has some limit in our own experience. And we continue to expand that. We can only see as far as our eye of practice can reach. So we keep reaching farther and we keep learning. And with each instance, we learn about One of the things we learn is how to be present with the feeling that we've harmed another person so that it doesn't impede our ability to address that harm. If I say something insensitive to another person, if I'm not aware that what I say may be harmful, and I'm too focused on my own experience of, oh, my God, I can't believe I just said that.

[32:20]

then I'm not able to meet them. So this is where awareness internally and awareness externally really comes in. Being present with our own experience and as much as we can, being attentive to the experience of others. And our inner experience of the discomfort of causing harm is part of our own innate empathy that we don't want to cause harm. Thank you. Maybe there aren't any more questions this evening.

[33:43]

Oh, I see one more. That seems the perfect way to bring forward one more question. Ana Malou. Hello, my camera tank. Hi, Linda. Hi, Ana. Good to see you. Oh, my God, there you are. Here's Orion. So I really enjoyed your talk. Thank you so much. And I really felt resonance and familiarity around the study of not knowing. And my question is, and I think about this often, you know, how do we tell ourselves it's okay not to be secure and not to know where we stand in life, even sometimes there's just sort of an art form to it. And I think I might have to work a little bit with feeling insecure with not knowing and a little bit scared, but I do sense there's a truth there.

[34:56]

So I thank you for that reminder. I think whatever we feel not knowing around, we do feel insecure and scared. I think that's just part of it. I think that's why these teachings and that whole thing about negative capability has struck a chord with so many people. Because we can feel that there's some life there underneath our defenses, underneath our fear. Underneath our insecurities and resistance, there's something that longs to come to life. And it takes us some mysterious ways. Sometimes, you know, that's our way-seeking mind. Something's wanting something beyond the safety, beyond the security. It wants to be safe and wants to be secure, but in a deeper way, in a more fundamental way.

[36:01]

It's not just about outward condition. It's touching into that deep, deep place. So we creep out a little bit and we risk a little bit and we say, is it OK? And every time we do it, we're laying down the path. And we're like, OK, that was OK. And I've had a few experiences where it was OK. to be insecure and keep going. I know you've done this many, many, many times in your life. And even though the insecurity and the fear may still be there, if you can just get intimate, just allow it to be there and be like, oh yeah, it feels like this. My heart's a little fluttery and my stomach's,

[37:01]

unsettled. And this little place in my shoulder just weak. And just to be with it. And open to it. Lee Lesser was leading a retreat with the women vets here one year many years ago, and she had us do this great exercise because she was giving a talk in Zendo. And So yeah, it's a retreat with women vets and pretty much all of them had some kind of trauma, often intense from their childhoods, their lives, or from being in active duty in the war. And she said, clench your fist as hard as you can and just really feel into it. What is it like to hold on so tight? And then she said, I'm gonna give you the instruction before I actually fully.

[38:02]

So don't do anything until I've given it to you fully. I'm going to ask you to let your hand unclench, but don't do it. Just allow it to happen without doing anything and just watch it as it gradually opens. And it was so hard not to want to push it open, but just to let it be there, let it unfold. And just that staying present again and again and again. Thank you for that, Linda. Just a comment on your answer. I feel like... pointing out that underneath is the truth of the silence and sort of is something I can't quite describe, but that underneath anything you might assume is that the truth of just that we don't know and that's actually okay.

[39:10]

So I really appreciate your guidance on that. So thank you. Anna, it's good to see you. Good to see you too. Linda, we had another question come through the chat from BD who asks, do we have an obligation to tell someone that they've harmed us in the martial arts? That's a sign of weakness, they say. Wow. I don't, I would say This is my view. I don't think that we have an obligation per se, a fundamental obligation to tell someone if they've harmed us. I think it depends on many causes and conditions and it depends on what the context is.

[40:13]

In a close relationship, I think it's very important to tell someone if they've harmed us. I think there are many, many conditions under which it's important to tell someone that they've harmed us. But there may be instances where it would be harmful to ourselves to tell someone that we've harmed us, that they've harmed us. I think it really depends on the situation. You know, first do no harm. No harm to yourself. no harm to others. And if you can do good, and I think often letting someone know that they've harmed us might be really uncomfortable to them and painful to hear that they've harmed us, but it can actually be doing good by allowing them the chance to reflect on their actions and

[41:21]

perhaps repair or heal that harm and to learn something for next time. Thank you. If there are no more questions for now, perhaps Linda, a closing word? Hmm. just deeply grateful to be able to be with all of you here in the Zoom room and here in Tassajara. It's fantastically strange to be navigating both of those realms simultaneously, especially at Tassajara. And I think in closing, I would say that there are about a dozen of us here in Tassajara right now. And we are taking care of this valley and taking care of the practice in this valley.

[42:29]

And we're all so much looking to see seeing some of you next summer at Tassajara. And we hope to see you then. Thank you so much for your practice. Thank you so much. And good night, everyone. You should be able to unmute now if you'd like to. Yay, thank you, Linda. Thank you, Linda. Thank you very much. Thank you, Linda. Thank you, Linda. Thanks, Linda. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm glad you're holding down the valley. All of us together. Thank you, Linda. Nice to see this end up. Absolutely. Wish I was there. It's very nice to get word from Tassahara.

[43:29]

Can I flip this around so they can see you? I'm going to flip this around so you can see everybody here. Hi, Tassahara friends. Thank you, Linda. Hello. Hello, Tassahara. Lovely. Beautiful. Thank you, Linda. Nice to be in the Zendo. Yeah. Hey, Linda, you should do this more often. Just like in the morning. Panoramic view. Good idea. Okay. Good night, everyone. Good night. Good night.

[44:15]

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