Good morning, everyone. Welcome and welcome back to our first talk back at the Zeta. I just want to invite everyone to turn off your phone or put it on airplane mode. Silence is apparently not enough. I've been told it really helps to preserve the Wi-Fi that we offer on airplane mode and prepare the renovation of Wi-Fi's quite weak. So for our Zoom, I guess it would be great if you could do that. This is the path of the system that is referred to to the technology and perfect and long-term model.

[08:34]

It is just a perfect unit and that is great. He even did enough to get thousands and millions to collect with us. And when we leave the system to the aim of the system, it will be really under the steps. Let me get out of the system to the target of the system. How many are here for the first time? One, two, three. You have three folks there for the first time. Well, it's great to have you. And this is apparently not on. So I'm going to press the button again. See if that is not now is it on. Now I'm going to look at the button.

[09:35]

Testing. There. Now it's done. Great. Well, while we're gone, for those of you in our Zoom land, we welcome three people that haven't been here before. And it's great to have you here with us for the very first time. Again, it's my temple. I'm Michael Corrig, and I am a resident priest here at San Francisco Zen Center. And this is our Zen-no that we have not been in for a few months. So it's just great to have everybody back to Zeno and to this moment.

[10:36]

I'll get back to Zeno in a little bit. Have you ever heard of someone saying, be in this moment, be in this moment, be here now? And of course, anyone that has practiced Buddhism or been a part of these practices, these formal practices, knows not only is that a statement, but it is also an awesome statement many times. And wouldn't it be great if we knew, if I want to be here now, in this moment, if I do X, then I will be in this moment. And so if I do X, then I'll be in this moment. And I'll be right, fully present, right now. Because we've certainly felt like what it's like to not be in this moment. Thinking about the past, our narratives about the future, what might happen.

[11:40]

It can be hard to do this work without a little bit of this scaffolding. Because as we know, it isn't just about willing ourselves in this moment to be here right now. But there's a bunch of other things that seem to culminate into being in this moment where you're just kind of noticing. The culmination of the body of work of something that's going on now and previously ended up with me, inherently me, in this moment right now. In India, for a long time, they had a tradition of the funeral pyre. Not the fire, but pyre. P-Y-R-E, the funeral pyre. It is where They take a person who is recently deceased, and they put them on a stack of wood, sometimes with ceremonial cloth.

[12:42]

And in the Buddhist tradition, he would go to the ceremony of the funeral wire, and they would sit as someone lighted that wood on fire. And the body would slowly become a nothing, or will seem like a become a nothing. It would slowly disintegrate, as it burned out a stack of wood, and the lungs would sit there in a circle around a fume wire, and wood would menace it. As his body slowly legumes, it becomes ash, it becomes smoke, it becomes one of the wood, and it disappears. And this could seem like a fairly morbid. exercise. A fairly morbid exercise of watching 111 deeping code right for our eyes is going to match. But this is not a morbid situation from the reason that is put together the context in which it is held.

[13:52]

Because what it is teaching us to do is it is teaching us how fleeting it is to have one life, and how quickly it goes away, and to remember to have a visual, visceral body feeling of what it is like when that loved one is no longer with us. Not because we want to be sad, and not as sad as you are, but that when we leave the funeral pyre, We are going to be in the next moment. And we're going to be with healing needs that are alive. And have we forgot to treasure them? Has the one day, has the glory, has the place we usually live just passes by our loved ones and the people around us that are in our sangha? Do we really appreciate them until they're gone?

[14:57]

Or can we appreciate them now? Having a little bit of scaffolding to do the work of being in this moment can be incredibly helpful. Arthur Miller, the famous playwright, had this statement upon his wife and his death. And it always sucks with me. Sometimes it's hard for me to even read this quote without crying a little bit. It is the feeling of being with someone for decades and then not having them there. Arthur Villarroes, I am very old now. Like a dog, I always laid my cash at her feet. Now I carry it around aimlessly.

[15:58]

The happy game disrupted forever. That was also his view in life. He was alive. And after he wrote that sentence, he had something else that had been done that day after. And he met other human beings who were loved. and treasuring the people that are in front of us today. Because that is what Zen Center is. We were here in the past, and we are grateful of the people who came before us, and what they built, and what they gave us. But those of you that are here today, you are Zen Sisters. These are the people that are alive today.

[17:00]

These are the people we're going to have to be in peace with. It's not about some of them that are in the future. It's not about people who were here in the past. It is the Englander now. It is you. It is me. And as we move back any soon as this building is slowly, bit by bit, this whole building that has so much history opened in 1922. One of the world's famous architects at the 20th century, Julia Morgan. Originally Jewish women's center. It can still be the start of David and I work with the different railings around the balconies. And where young women would live because of that time, of course, if you were married and you were not with your family, then you needed someplace to live. And so this would be communal. place. There's so much history in this building, and it's being renovated right now, thankfully, by some builders or some architects who have done newly born buildings in the past.

[18:09]

But it has a future, too. And it will be the Zen Center made up of you and me, and then one day, we will pass it on to other people. But the Zen Center is not about people in the past. It is in the very area of memory, and you see it as the scaffolding for us due to more of appreciation even now. And this morning I want to start off with a few new things that I appreciate and I remember. In the last year, there have been several people who have passed on at Zen Center, and some I know better than others. I want to talk about two that I knew the best, and how they helped me go forward with being with you. Some of you might recognize what this is.

[19:16]

Jeffrey was here for over 40 years or so. He was my next door neighbor. He was the first person I had in the medicine center. And he passed on in February. And as Jeff would walk around San Francisco, he would, every time I came across as a henny, he would put it in his pocket, a lucky henny. And over time, I would see it like a hundred lucky hennies. He would find a little box, a container, he would put it in that box. And then he would spend his time decorating the box very effectively. And then they would give it to someone, usually about once a year. He would give away a penny box, a good luck box, and he would say, it's got 100 shakes. Each time you shake, it's a good luck.

[20:20]

So they'll use it all as a merge or creepy. There's just a lot about the heart of Jeffrey that is in these little boxes. And I just showed you one once this morning for good luck. And he helped me be a solemn member. And he helped me make sense of what Buddhism was about. He took out a class called Injured or Buddhism that I took. in the summer of 2008. And he kept the door open for me. And we want to keep the door open for the people that come after us. And our relationships with how we treat each other is going to be a lot about whether or not they will stay. It's going to be about what they find here. How is it that we treasure each other?

[21:22]

How is it we treat them when they come and endure? Or whether or not we're skipping over this moment and we are realizing how precious it is that we have this moment and that we have each other. Because Buddhism is about a whole bunch of restrictive things to do so that we can accomplish them. It's necessarily doing the work of meaning and meaning. When we come to the monastery, we learn about all those rules. When you drink tea or water, use toothpaste. Is it because you have to use toothpaste? No. It's because it is bringing me back to this alone, because I might be a little out in my head to talk about a story or anything about the past. And would it be great if I learned how to be with the cup on the water? Because that's how I want to be with other people. And if I can't be with the water or the tea, then I might get their other pizza too. And then I'm just eating Monday or just like drinking a cup of plain water.

[22:26]

And I might not truly appreciate them until one day when they had gone and I realized how beautiful it was as if they were here and some of the things about their spirit. In this last year also, Juliet passed on. Many of you might not have known Juliet, but she was a cook with me at Tassassara and was there for the news. And it's funny when people pass away what you remember as the beauty that people had into life. And realizing that when I was there many times I didn't even think of that. And now I reflect on the fact that we were there and the kitchen was over 100 degrees many days.

[23:30]

And we were guests together for cooking for the guest dining room and also for the student dining room. Julia, in my opinion, my experience of spending many sandwiches in that kitchen, had this amazing grace and illuminism in the midst of something that seemed sweaty and hot, and sometimes chaotic, and how are we going to put this together? And she seemingly kind of loaded through it with this grace. She really liked clothes. And she would go to the Goodwill at Tazahara as good all the people donating all their extra stuff. And if you've been to the Goodwill of San Francisco, you might find those hanging notes. And then take that down about ten notches. And that's what you have as part of the Goodwill at Tazahara in regard to the quality of clothing. And somehow I would have Juliette go in there with her very keen eye. And she would almost immediately go in and find like whole series of new outfits.

[24:38]

She always was so good put together. And she was always so comfortable. And when people seemed to be worried and flustered, there was something about her spirit that was there. And she shouldn't really ever see any panic about them. And it helped people around her not panic so much. I want to remember that lesson, not just to reveal what she brought, but so that I can be with you in a more appropriate way. I want to remember her. The heart that Jeffrey had when he was walking around the city, and he was thinking about his song base. for an entire year before he gave him gifts.

[25:42]

And do I really hold and treasure people that way? I felt so special when he needed gifts. And that day could have just been another day. It could have been just another Monday day of me going around and doing myself. And for one moment, we stopped and treasured you. There is something beautiful happening right now in this room with the people that are here and with the person that is next to you. And they live a whole life and they have loved things and they've been afraid of things and they have hopes for the future. And they want to be alive and they want to do things and they want to thrive. And sometimes we just talk into sex. And Buddhism is asking us to be in this moment.

[26:45]

Not cause it's a rule. Not cause cause we have to drink a tea with two hands. Not cause cause we have to bow out a certain way. But we need to get in this whole cloud scaffolding the things to do here. There are teaching in this room that helped me come back to this alone. It is very hard to do so cheap mindfully unless I've already put away my piece of respect. and all we people gave the lineage before me. It is very difficult for me to do soji unless I tie my sleeves in a very specific way, because they may be incredibly large and difficult to watch the jishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishish And after I have vowed, it isn't whether or not I'm worried that my teacher will say that you did it wrong. It's that we are learning.

[27:48]

This is mindless, this is presence of this school of people trying to teach each other how not forget this moment, how to be with the next person we meet, and that barista, and that person on the street, and the bus driver. and all of the lulls that we might be tempted to skip through in life, including our saga. If you see me in an autograph after I have passed and you now live with me, know what I'm saying back to you is... I really treasure being you. But use this for the next person you meet. Treasure them. Because you have the gift of being alive right now.

[28:54]

And that is for us. Don't skip over the next person you meet. Give them your full extension. Like the most important person to find it. Because you should only put your attention in one place. So take it all. In 100 years, it will be 21,000 more. And most of us will not be here. And we will be there with our friends and our relationships. And strangers live in our homes that we saw so hard to build and they will know everything that we have today. And all our possessions will be in some of those as well and they even exist in a call.

[29:57]

And even if we had a car that's done a lot of money, it will likely be scrap unless some co-writers are stuck in their co-writers' decision, but they will know that I can live it. and our descendants will hardly know who we were as a person. They might not have a photograph, but who thinks and knows is too much about Grandmother's mother. Some people do it, but in general, we know and we usually don't know much about them and what they love or what they did. And then after I die, I'll remember it for a few more years. and photographs of stuff on the shelf, and then all the superior districts are living in. And one day, the people who remember me will be here. If we pause us to analyze these questions and who will remember us as the local point of it, perhaps we will understand how near and where we even dream was to achieve everything.

[31:01]

If we could only think about the children, our approach and our thoughts would change, and we knew the good. I really appreciate people that are here with us now, and not just to try to have more or to worry about the petties and the thing that person did, but the kisses of our children and our loved ones and hugs and the moments of the heart and the Monday small moments sitting on the couch. which you just didn't have time for. And sometimes I just waste myself with greedy selflessness and tolerance and with worry and pettiness. Every minute of life is precious and will never be repeated. So take time to enjoy and be grateful for it and pay attention to the fact that Zen is giving us a scaffolding, a practice, so that we can actually do that.

[32:08]

I don't remember what I was so well about a year ago or five years ago. But I know that every year there have been things that I was worried about. Maybe I can remember a few of them. But by and large, even if I have to have written them down in my journal, most of them when I look back at them, I'm kind of like, meh. Yeah, I was a little old, but I just don't really want my body anymore. Most of them. than I was presentable, then how many of my days have I been caught on that? And isn't it nice to have some skeptically just bring me back to actually the things that I love, and the things that I cherish, and the people that I cherish, and to what helps me be in this moment now? Well, it's the day to catch on fire and actually be in places that I want to be, where I give up 100% to this is all on it.

[33:12]

And after Julia passed on just a few months ago, we were pretty much about the same age as in their early 50s. Passed on way too early. I don't know what the lady is, we all feel like it's early somehow. I went into the And I understand all of the cut sheets and order sheets put them online for people. And the cut sheets and order sheets are what you write whenever you are doing a meal. And the cut sheet tells everybody how to chop up everything, how to prepare it so the chef can actually do the cooking. And the order sheet tells the tento what you want for the meal and all the different things to buy. And I went in and I found all Juliet's cut sheets in order sheets. And I found it on my very first day that she was ever cooked at Tata Farm for everyone.

[34:20]

She made a blueberry in case. And I found her cut sheets. This is not hers. I scanned them and I sent them to her family so that they could have them. They could think about, you know, just her handwriting and all that. You know, this is something that she loved and she was just You know, doing this as an offering for all these people. And then they connect to a little bit of history. This is my first cut sheet where I made a polenta bread and black bean chili and romaine goat cheese salad and oatmeal raisers cookie. And someone ate this. And it's just a little piece of history. But it's not about worshiping the history of the past. It's just connecting to it and realizing that somebody is that Tassajara today may confuse someone and allow us to support them. And our corporate secretary, he wrote, went down there to help them with the kitchen that's Tassajara could be building after COVID.

[35:24]

And he's going to work there with a new tens of ASJ, and they're going to do offerings for free people. And this isn't just about working in a kitchen. It's practice. And the practice in the kitchen is being with the different elements that are there. Being with the other people that are doing them. Mindfully. Using the tensile yoga room from 800 years ago. From a dead mother that wrote a spot out of being in the kitchen. And our connection to that. And using that as scaffolding to be with the next chair. To not be bored. And I've just cut another block of tofu. And I've already cut 50 blocks of tofu. But it can be very, very helpful to be with what was given to me. And it's very helpful for me to think about, you know, the cut sheets that were there, the people that were for me.

[36:25]

And in any summerville. And around. And T.S. Roser. then Wendy Johnson, and Jeffrey, Jeffrey Schneider, and Julia Wagner, and Dale Pent, and all the people that built that kitchen. But that kitchen today is the people that are there who are going in it. That's who is alive. That is our kitchen. The past is kind of enough for us to remember how to do work, and to not skip over the people living in the kitchen this day, at Tassara, doing that work. Because it just celebrates the mundane. That's where we live, not just a life. It's getting rid of this, and doing that, and then this, and then that other day, and functioning.

[37:27]

And I want to skip through it and ignore it all. This is helping me actually be with this offering. This is who is this offering. And it's not just an offering right to people who are receiving it, but it is a teaching to the people that are the future of that offering. As they learn that it is a scaffolding for me to learn how to be in this moment. Because I'm going to live on to someday in the future where I don't want to be in this moment. And I'm going to think it's really hard to be in this moment. But if I have had my life full of different ways to actually be with the thing that's here now, and the fact that I've admitted that I have respect for the weather, and that I want to at least touch the bottom of a tsunami when I pick it up, it will be a little teaching.

[38:30]

Because you don't have to touch some water in the cup. In any specific way. It is something that somebody came up with. But it can help you learn how to be here now. And so we are in the midst of a very short time business center. A new building. That's going to have a new future. And it's going to look different. We have many teachers that just left our songs and went out into the village. Many people will hear the pasts of the hearers of people that we love. And just right around the corner at what we now have as the song growing. It was 50 years ago, in 1974, that two people that most of us do know, Paul Haller and Gil Crosthall, met each other as new guest students, and .

[39:41]

And we knew what future was going to be used for those two people. Now, of course, runs his own teaching organization, and as a very new teacher, and we used to follow how some we spent many years as Eno, Tonto, Abbott, and now our beloved senior graduate teacher. Having spent the last 50 years here at Sunsetter, and my teacher, and they and so many other people built this place. 10 years ago, a couple of weeks ago, I was ordained, and I had that table as one of Blaymar's last ceremonies, and I had a real blanch. And all the things they taught us, who were here in Zen Center, building this place, and keeping the door open, are going to be behind it.

[40:49]

And our beloved teachers need to be our Agatha, who passed away way too soon, 10 years ago, last December. They are reaching back to that photograph to us and saying, we really appreciate that time together. We loved that time. It was special. But don't live in the past. Realize that you have special people around you now. And be with them. And build the future. If you are here today, you are a sister. And there's many ways to see it. We have the Urban Day Saga, who does so much of learning how to be within the forms of the taking care of meditation hall, and then they meet before and after, and they support each other, coming here on the weekend.

[41:53]

And we'd love that you could be a member of the Urban Day Saga. And we have young girls that are on Tuesday nights, and they do a lot of volunteer work around here. And we really want to have a new chapter where we're built together. And I see people feel younger than I hear. I see Arlene. I see hearing. And I see different folks around here that they may have so many ears doing things. I see Sanjay. And so many of you have been sorry that this temple for so many years. And have been so much a part of how long the doors are still open. And I see an anus and a beautiful writer who got us across the street.

[42:59]

How many of you have been in Zensa for a long time? And sometimes we just stop and realize it's all of us that's building it. It's all of us that's building it. We're going to build it together. When we were here in the past, but so many elders left. And now a new chapter is going to turn in a new building. That is Zen Center now. Zen celebrates the mundane. the washable, the making this, the being with the paintings small. I just have a friend at Tata Sarara, and she was a very small person, and she said, I've always been small, and sometimes I felt overlooked. So I like to reveal your paintings that are the tiny, when I go into the wilderness, I try to remind the smallest of that I can possibly find, because as I look overlooked at the tiny,

[44:10]

I like to be with the little teeny tiny bug and to be with that bug bug. What is this in your life that helps you celebrate even now? Because all these forms and rules about Zen and the monastery are not about doing something in a certain way so that you might become a machine okay or good or mastering Zen. Because it's for me and you so that I can actually learn how to be here and now. Because there is beauty there and measures wonder here. And there are amazing things here right now with the mundane. And I don't want to only recognize them when they're a column. And when I ask to make my bed through the dishes mindfully with one thing at a time, beating with it is because it's a described task that I'd have to accomplish. It's because it's a scaffolding for me to actually have my spirit and my mind and my body and my heart. Calm down and be at this place from this anxious day.

[45:13]

And then to be able to look my worries down and not just to stay in my head, okay, be present. It's so I can actually be here now and mundane letting it be illuminated and letting it be enough for me to find my intent because it's only for me. And when I get out of my head and back to my breath and my body, when I'm standing in line at the coffee shop, because as I've been really spinning in my head about the thing that I have done or the thing that that person said, and I use my practice to come back to, okay, what's happening now? I might actually meet that barista. I might actually notice some act of small kindness. I might actually be able to explore what happens next in a more full way, because I let the now catch on fire. That beating heart that's happening all the time.

[46:14]

Julia and I were only in Hawaii for four days with a friend of ours named Timber. And we had this as us in just one morning in Hawaii, and we had to be at the island in Saga. And we had the media where Robert made Roshi. And he was there, sitting inside of us. And he was doing it in his wheelchair with his hand and pushing him. And afterward, he gave us a talk. And then two days later, he died. And we just had this brief little intersection. And I only caught a little glimpse of this is our very whole power of life. I can only imagine. What would have been behind that life? All the little looks. But if you were teaching me anything that was listed today, it was time I first saw zen. Today is the time I first saw zen. Today is the time I first saw zen. Today is the time I first saw zen.

[47:20]

Today is the time I first saw zen [...] And please know that the future of this building is something we're excited about, which was all integrated into, and we're very grateful for how it just does to scaffolding our emotions. Because there's so many stories in this building, and it's all happening right now. It's the miracle of a song that's sitting in this room, and reading together, and doing today's talk, and then they'll have some announcements, and then they'll go out and see each other. And then we'll go do something else. And then next on them will happen. Whatever is in the center and what it may be next will be something for other people to inherit. And then they will go to lunch.

[48:21]

And then they will watch the bowl in that beautiful mundane sink. And then that beautiful mundane dish. That beautiful mundane bowl. And then they will put on that beautiful Monday rack. With two hands. May our intention evilly send to every happy place. We'll get much through the habit of this way. We need to start our motherless, and I am proud to sing them. The illusion of God is lost all, and I am proud to live them. Dharma, we need to start our motherless, and I am proud to live today.

[49:27]

Yes, when it is unsurpassable, I don't know what to be done. I think it is that the next one I think they're going to do, are we doing Q&A on this? Yes. Yes, okay. Next, what we will do is Q&A or Q&A, same questions, answers, comments, and If you are on the line, you put things in the chat. And, um, yeah, well, that's just a little bit before we do. We've been sitting here a little bit. I'm going to invite everyone, if you want to, to stand up and to feel your body again. And if you, um, feel like you, um, need to walk around outside, you feel like you might be socially unacceptable as we leave a room and you're worried what people might think. Just go ahead and walk outside and don't worry about what anybody else thinks.

[50:29]

But if you want to stay around for questions, answers, and comments, we'd love to have you here to unpack things just a little bit more. So if anyone has a question, comment, or any answer, just raise your hand. I'll thank you for our email today, Brian, who stepped in. And Brian has a microphone. He'll bring me around.

[51:30]

And then we will go from there. Wow. Thank you. That was incredibly insightful. As you hear, I have a... So it takes me a little bit... However, the question I wanted to ask was how we could be a part of the Zen Center and also add to it.

[52:36]

Thank you. Thank you very much. The devil is in the details, isn't it? How can we be a partisan defense center? How can we add to it? So you just did, first off, putting your energy, your thought, your question into the room, showing up that there are different events, and talking to the people that are here, I think that the volunteering is a new piece of it. We're going to make so many volunteers. We're going to move back into this building that we always do. And then taking the opportunity to, as much as it fits on someone's schedule to be hard-eating exhausted, or morning exhausted, or weekend urban gates, or come into Young Represented or any of our affiliate groups.

[53:38]

And we need people to help us run these. We have people that come out to Young Represented and help us out of the room and greet people and tell them what it's about. We have this wonderful email from Sanjay back a couple weeks ago to Young Represented telling them how to get involved. I'd like to go up to them and say, hey, I'd like to be more involved. Do you want to hang out on top? Are there things that I can do? There's one day sits. There's a sashimi coming up in the beginning of December. A sashimi is the seven day sits. And it takes a lot of us. We all build the machine together. And we need people to do different things and be dedicated to that week. Some people can't take the whole week off. So we have one-day systems on the weekend. These one-day systems are like, I viewed them like, how hard is it to do it when you sit in your apartment?

[54:40]

It's just really hard. You know, if you try, you know, he'd sit for 40 minutes and he'd get up and walk around and talk to you. After a few hours, it's really hard to stay on the balcony, you know? So you've got all these workout partners that are here doing it when they sit together. But it's not just people with black roads. If you look around, there's so many people that are here that don't live here. that are doing very important things like that one thing is possible. And then we have happy faces. And then again, we have, you know, the, I don't know, the things that are happening with the door watch. And I would be people knowing all the, not just how to be with the bell. Our beloved teacher, Noah Weissman, did his class on the bell when we were at Asara. And he would not let us just take it out and move it around quickly. He said, no, respect the bell. Hold the look with two hands. He would even talk with the bell like it's a person. you know, and, [...] and

[55:49]

These sorts of lessons you learn from being in the group of sangha, from being behind those bells, are teachings not about doing anything right, because when one of the bells lay right, you can mess up the bells, and then no one's religious experience is ruined. The main thing is, is you're here and you're learning about the bell, and being with the fact that, oh wow, I'm really being blessed with everything, because I haven't hit the bell in 10 minutes. But I'm supposed to be here now. But I've got to get the bell in 10 minutes, but I'm supposed to be here now. And then you learn, oh, how am I with this dichotomy? How do I actually learn a lesson about the bell? And it's not just about playing the bells. It's about being with the actual thing of being a dole. As you start to integrate that into your life, that will spill into your conversations. You have your tea and cookies with that new person who says, how do I buy the heart of the sunset? Hey, great talk.

[57:05]

I had a question. What's the Young Urban Gate Center? I'm not familiar with that. I'm aware of the WZ. And I'm aware of the Zen Center, and this was locations like Tassajara and Green Gulf. If you could give a wide overview of what are the various locations of the program that the Zender has and what they do, give me a bit of a picture. Yeah, thank you. So, it's Young River Zen, and that's Tuesday night, and that's self-fine. Whether it's Young, whether it's Herbert, or whether it's Zen, it's self-fine. There's some people with Young River Mindfulness. For other people, it's young bullsen. They do all sorts of things. We've been there a lot. There's another thing called Urban Gate.

[58:06]

So don't yell that at word. But Urban Gate Saga meets here on Saturday morning. And they... learned about being a master, being with all these bulls and ceremonies and what they need and how to be a person. So they come here, they run 9.25 a.m. Zazen on Saturday mornings. And then they help us, you know, set up this room and how to support the meditation, the Gartah, and then they meet together with the Tonto priest, Tonto being a head of practice. And they talk about the practice, how they use their lives, they support each other, and then they do things with each other during weeks. So that's what we've been doing so long ago. And you can see them, and you can see them out of them. You can talk to anyone that has this live room, or you can talk to a quick set of practices. And then there's three temples in the center.

[59:08]

I'm going to go far right north. There's a southern temple there, a green dragon temple. And then Sunday, a very similar sort of thing. People come together, each other, all of that. As far as our remote training monastery, it's off the grid down there, sir. And it has practice experience the last three months of winter. basically going from October to December and then going in the spring, January to March and the summer. They opened it up to other people to come and join the monastery to have retreat stays and workshops and that sort of thing. You can apply to your workers in San [...] And then on our website, sbz.org, you can look at your schedule. You can see when there are one-day shifts, and when there's seven-day shifts, and half-day shifts, and all of that.

[60:11]

And yeah, it's just slow, [...] slow. Also, a reminder, everyone on Zoom, also signal to our AVI, and he can pipe the glue in. Michael, thank you so much for the power invitation to celebrate Monday. I treasure you. I treasure a lot of our teachers and Eli and Tim. I treasure the sangha. It has really, you know, has been transformative. And yet sometimes I still feel like there's something that holds me back from being present. And I've allowed to, you know, I'm allowing that too. And I feel like that's kind of been the key, right?

[61:13]

Because when I'm not being present and then I become aware that I'm not being present, I become discouraged and disappointed with myself. And so that's actually just pushing away. come to realize that making a space for that is kind of the key. And so I just wanted to thank you, and I really do treasure this place. So thank you. Thank you, Aaron. Thank you so much.

[62:26]

It means a lot to me. My question for myself and for you is that you have shared your humanity in a very personal, intimate way. And yet, it's also not personal. It's not about me. Can you say something about how The sincerity and humility of sharing one's intimate humanness, which I often feel is, you know, failure. This is both personal and connected. I'm so glad you're able to be there.

[63:42]

I know this is up. probably made it for the last 40 years, wasn't the 80s. Said that to me one time, I never felt normal until I was a practice leader. And by that agenda, I spent all day long sitting there with students talking about their stuff and their worries, their concerns, and their imperfections, and their self-judgment. Then I realized, okay, we're all just kind of in this together. Is this normal? You know, and I think that the connectedness around sharing is just the realization that this is where we all live. And the places that we find one being, the places that the scare us, the places that excite us, as we, you know, just heard the...

[64:47]

ways in which our RRFs can even end up being ours or service of existence or judgment. Verbalizing these things will turn them over with a gentleness, but humble them eluselessly, and just makes them less heavy, and helps not many people I think in their struggle to realize, yeah, I do believe that wonderful person that is here. And I do feel discouraged sometimes in my practice. And I do not appreciate my workout mates that helped me this morning. And I do get it added to this. And I do get it added to this. And then I find people that are with grace and humility. And I always love the term barrier, you're nobly. How do I sit in the midst of my own tornado and very nobly? I didn't answer this. But this is what's happening now for me.

[65:49]

And I'm going to be with the best that I can without judging and without putting labels on it. And so, yeah, I think that's the intention. It's just unpacking things a little bit in that way. So we get all connected in our humanity and know that we're all just... In my mind, I feel like kind of like moles underground, stumbling around, fumbling around the dark, trying to figure out actually what's going well in here. I hope for just one moment in the sun. And yeah, I think the longer you practice that, the more you realize you can see, and the more you treasure the people that are around you. So I treasure you, and I hope that this... You are sharing all those people at NSO, as I'm sure you are. I think we've come to the end.

[66:57]

Do we have one more? Kieran. OK, we've got about two minutes. I don't want to run too much over, but go ahead. I had a question. Well, maybe not a question. Well, you were saying that the funeral pyre reminded me of my grandmother at the time when she was passing and we had a funeral pyre. I had a question around sitting with the illicit family member. You talked about the sitting with the funeral pyre and seeing that happen. I guess reconciling this individuality you know is going to happen with the Maybe the dynamic of the relationships is not quite there where you want it to be. And it can be somewhat great for you in that regard. I think the answer that I've seen is the practice, but if you could just speak to that more.

[67:59]

Yeah. Well, I mean, there's a little time I know it too, so there's huge annoyances in conflict. Yeah, I was just sharing a second ago and I was really connected to that in regard to being aware of, you know, things about yourself that you don't want to be down to. That you wish that I was a different me and wish I was a different black people. And then, oh, wow, it just manifested in that way. You know, and then how can I hold that up where it's in a way that's a teacher or a lesson? Because I'm going to have to be with other people and I don't like how they're manifesting. Or I don't like how... Our relationship is how it's been built or what's happening in that moment. I will want it to be that way. And that's why we had this practice, as I know, for being with ourselves with all the little tiny things to pop up. And we hold them like they are maybe restless and a little bit low in three years and say, okay, you'll live in the answer one day.

[69:05]

We'll just hold you gently. Thank you for being here.

[71:01]

I was supposed to make a lot of announcements, but Michael made them for me, so please get involved in the city center. The website is sfcc.org. And here at the city center, we have meditation at 5.30, both a.m. and p.m., most days. The schedule will say 5.40, but That's late. I don't know why Zen does that. So if you're trying to get here at 5.30, you'll be on time for the 5.40 a.m. and p.m. most days. And like I said, there's a seven-day session in the first week of December, early December. And that's also part of a longer practice period that anyone who participated, both in the system and online. And I think next is, if you're here, a few doors up Page Street, there is tea and cookies available. Thank you very much. And if folks can stay behind and help restore the center, that would be helpful.

[72:03]

Thank you.

[72:04]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_54.32