Good morning. Every morning when I'm walking in to start the talk, so far in this machine, there's been one or two people right up against the window. And it always strikes me as a little bit bizarre. So earnestly formal, you know. standing there, almost touching the window with their nose. We used to, for many, many years, when we bowed, we'd all turn towards the altar. And then Chuhako Okamura said to us, he said, well, actually, in Japan, on occasions like this, we consider the whole wall Buddha. And so instead of all turning towards the altar, we just bow to what we call the front of the room.

[02:24]

So now you know where that came from. I hope you find that reassuring, comforting. I also hope, too, you find it a little bit bizarre. why would looking out the window not be as much Buddha as this beautifully carved Gandhara statue? And why would any part of the wall not be as much Buddha as this beautifully carved Gandhara statue? So good news, in case you didn't notice. This morning's breakfast was on schedule. In fact, the news is even better than that. It was slightly ahead of schedule.

[03:33]

Thanks to the noble efforts, the soku, the head server, the servers, the ladles and the pots, and the cereal. and the cooks, and the ovens. I've been sort of following in my talks, sort of following a fascicle, Zazen Shin, by Dogen Zenji. the polishing, the tile exchange. And then they go on. And at this point, Nangaku is expanding to Basel, the mind of Zazen.

[04:36]

And he uses this analogy. He says to him, I am going to read I'm going to read Kaz Tanahashi's translation. After hearing about polishing the tile, Nangaku says, well, how so? What is the way to do saasana? And Nangaku says, when driving a cart, if it stops moving, do you beat the cart or the ox? When breakfast's not on time, do you talk to the servers?

[05:49]

Or do you change the schedule? Maybe in this, the schedule would be the form and the ox would be the surfers. In our lives, often we think, does something need to change about these conditions? Or do I need to change? If you think about it, there's many aspects of our life where that question comes up. Whether it's a relationship, your work, zazen. Do I need to let myself soften into this posture in my sitting, or do I need to change my posture?

[07:05]

Should I sit in a chair? Instead of sitting that way, should I sit this way? And then Dogen Zenji comments on this. And here's how Kaz Tanahashi translates it. So get ready. Because let me tell you, Master Dogen, when he sets his mind to it, comes out with some amazing things. When I read this earlier today, I was thinking, I wonder what it was like for his teacher to have him as a student. you say do it like that, what do you mean by doing? What do you mean by like? What do you mean by that? Is there doing in the doing or is there non-doing in the doing? Nagako said, when driving the cart, if it stops moving, do you beat the cart or the ox?

[08:20]

And then Dogen comments, in regard to driving a cart, What is moving and what is stopping? Does it mean the water is flowing, that water is flowing, the cart is moving, and water not flowing is the cart? Can you say that the flowing of water is not moving? Is there a time when water's moving is not flowing? When you investigate the cart not moving, there is stopping and not stopping. It depends on time. The word stopping does not merely mean not moving. So there you go. That explains it all, doesn't it? In a way, what he's saying is when we perceive things a certain way, what's going on?

[09:40]

Yesterday breakfast didn't end on time. What does that mean? It ended exactly when it ended. Well, what it means is that we made up a schedule and on this schedule we said it'll end at this time. And the Eno copied it from last year and showed it to the Tanto and myself and we all went, okay, That looks pretty good. And then it didn't end according to the schedule. In sitting Zazen, when something happens, not according to your design, has something wrong happened?

[10:55]

Has something bad happened? Is there something that needs to be fixed, remedied? Or does the mind that perceives it, the mind that creates constructs around it, is that what needs to be attended to? And then Dogen. And as soon as we start to ask that question, we say, isn't this the stuff of our life? And then yesterday I was saying, when we hold it with both the arbitrariness that we're constructing to give it a reference on time as defined by a schedule we made up.

[12:03]

When we hold it in relationship to an arbitrary reference, and we also hold it in relationship to how each moment is completely itself. And it's beyond, you know, good or bad, on time, not on time. Each moment, each expression of existence that arises in zazen held within the context that your attitude, that your notions of practice create. And also held within just itself. And Nangaggu Tabasso and Dogen Zenji too are saying, well, let's look at this for a moment because there's something crucial here in how we discern effort, how we discern engagement in what arises.

[13:26]

At this time in Shishin, where we're, despite the many things rambling through our minds and hearts, we're here. Our involvement in here has its own intimacies. Some curious, wonderful mix between how we've accommodated the structure to our preferences and then in a way we've learned to give over to something. And in that regard, I would encourage you to keep exploring the giving over, the mitzvah no kafu, the careful attention to the details.

[14:48]

In the context, in the Zen context, not because there's a right and wrong, but because the attention, the engagement, when it's wholehearted, something comes alive. And it's this coming alive that we're exploring. And as we settle into Shashin, and as we unsettle into Shashin, and we do whatever we're doing, Capacity usually quickens. And who knows exactly what has arrived for you, this issue. Maybe there's a dominant theme of unsettling and unearthing and opening to difficult emotions and thoughts

[16:07]

memories and anticipations. Maybe the dominant theme is spacious. A kind of contentment to just let this new life unfold. And maybe it's a combination. Flickering back and forth. Your own biorhythm fits more easily with this part of the day than that part of the day. And yesterday I was nudging you towards activity.

[17:11]

Zazen is so vast and so many different expressions of existence can happen there. Sometimes it's just a relief to be doing something like sweeping the floor, cleaning the sink, emptying the trash can. Okay, I can do this. I can take this trash can downstairs and empty it into the bin. Sassen? I'm not so sure. But this? And when we attend carefully to that, with that mind, it has almost like a joyful assertion of its own activity.

[18:23]

Just doing this. Just getting a broom from the closet, going outside and sweeping the sidewalk. We all know more leaves are going to fall during the day, and tomorrow will be more or less the same before you start it. The activity has its own value. And of course, it's a little unusual in Sushin because there's not as much urgency in the Soji assignments we have as there often is in our usual life. They have more utility and function and consequence in West, whether they're done or not done.

[19:28]

So it's a great gift to be able to do something just for the experience of doing. And it's a great unlearning for us because the majority of our life is doing something for right come. And to learn in the activity doing for doing. And when the gong starts to hit, you stop. Even if you're heartbroken thinking, you know, I was almost completely done. I almost swept the sidewalk the whole way up to the garage door of 340. which everybody knows is the official ending place. And if you get there, you have indeed accomplished something.

[20:29]

But in stopping exactly as the gong starts, that mind is illuminated. And we see it as the mind of the moment, and we see it as a pattern of our mind. And if we just go with the habit energy, that's not so clear to us, you know? Because in the habit energy, almost like there's an automatic me happening. In that intentional stopping something new arises. And this way of holding it as precious and utterly important and worthy of giving it your full effort and also holding it as

[21:48]

Yes, this is a little weird. This is a marvelously surreal activity. And they balance each other. If we just let it be all real. I don't know if you ever saw the movie, Enlightenment Guaranteed. The short version is this. It's worth seeing. The short version is this. Two brothers... from Germany, go to a monastery in Japan. One is very, very sincere about Zen practice. Another one's just along for the ride. And so as they go through these different activities, you see these two responses. The deeply sincere brother, he goes back to his room and starts to weep. I screwed up so, so bad. The couldn't care less brother goes back to his room, which they share, and says, get over yourself.

[22:55]

Who cares? They probably didn't even notice. They need each other. They need each other to find the balance. And of course you could say, well, doesn't they... Doesn't the whimsical expression undermine the wholeheartedness? No. Because we discover, almost paradoxically, when we're not caught up in our own stuff, when this moment is not a play of my unfolding psychological makeup. If I reach 340 garage door, I will have accomplished something.

[23:56]

I will have proven to myself that I am a person who can accomplish. You might tell yourself that, but actually, in actual fact, you've just reached the door of 340. Probably because soji was a little longer that day. So as we unburden the activity from psychological significance, it can shine as its own event. And what would it be to bring that desire sense? to wholeheartedly engage in the activity of Zazen without some background, urgent agenda?

[24:57]

Can everything that happens in Zazen become its own special occurrence? not because of how it fits into my notions as to what does and is and what you could accomplish, but just because it's itself. And of course, this is a challenge for us. Because as we open up in Shashin, we had a speaker here a couple of months ago and she said, talking about awareness. He said, well, awareness will open us up, and most of it turns out to be bad news. What we get in touch with. Well, of course, this is the stuff you've been suppressing, avoiding, and now you're sitting in the middle of it. And to be a little analytical about it, we could say,

[26:09]

there's three skillful responses. One is insight. This is just conditioned existence. It arises and falls. This is just the momentum of my psychological makeup. It too will arise and it too will fall away. It's like no reason to take it personally. It doesn't define It just defines the moment itself. And the other one is the realm of samadhi concentration, which is like, as we engage it, as we experience it, it becomes itself. I mean, it's always itself, but it's experienced in the vitality, in the particularity of itself. And the third one is what we might call compassionate patience.

[27:19]

Can we hold our own difficulty tenderly? Can we hold it with patience? Sometimes difficulty comes up for us. Sometimes we turn it out. our distress out. And sometimes we turn it in. I'm inadequate. I'm not doing it right. And sometimes we turn it out and someone else, the world, our parents, whoever, are the source of the difficulty. And right now I'm emphasizing the combination of the insight and the samadhi. But the compassion is a crucial thing to remember too.

[28:30]

The nature of dukkha is that we for whatever reason, the pain of a human life. And then we exacerbate it. Our distress in response. That pain has an impact and our response to the impact exacerbates it. could say, well, in this insightful experiencing of it, we sort of see through our impulse to exacerbate it. We experience it fully for what it is in its energetic expression, and we also see its mere arising now.

[29:46]

foolish if we don't also hold close, be compassionate, patience. Because that will on occasions be skillful, appropriate. And to go back to this very mind as Buddha, to approach with any or all of those responses? Deshan was asked by a monk, which of those three do you respond with? After all your years of practice, which of those three do you respond with?

[30:56]

And he says, I keep that question close. In the moment, something's discovered. You can't approach it with a fixed strategy. Whatever happens in this period of Zazen, I'm going to approach it this way. Then we say, what is the intention? And this is what Dogen is getting at, one of the things he's getting at. What is the intention, the expression of engagement that guides our engagement in sasana? What is it that moves us through the different attributes of Shashin?

[32:13]

What is the mind that does Sochi? What is the mind that goes back to your room and takes a break? Once at Tassahara, quite a while ago, we had a famous Korean teacher come. And he was known for his fierceness. And he walked around Tassahara. And somebody would be going somewhere or doing something. And he'd stop them. And he'd say, with what mind are you walking? With what mind are you carrying those pots? It was great. It's startling, you know.

[33:28]

And hopefully as we settle into Shin and we start to each situation, each interaction, even our interaction with the physical sensations in the body, meeting the arising mind that's coming into being. They're asking to be met. Dogen Zenji says, cart, horse, moving, not moving, it's a little bit too cut and dried. Sometimes we're in the moment, giving over, wholeheartedly doing,

[34:33]

And there's nowhere to go other than just here. And there's no time other than just now. And we discover there can be activity in the middle of that. And we discover it's not in opposition to the basics of our practice. The basics of our practice are mindful awareness of body, breath, states of mind, and emotion. It's the basic of the practice. And that's not something different from being in the moment beyond any idea of what that moment should be. And then let me besiege you once more with my own wicked words.

[35:54]

Experience the experience. How unmediated can our relationship to the moment be? If we go into, oh yeah, what did I think of this morning as a right way to do this? Hmm. How does it feel to be holding this broom, carrying this pot, walking in the hallway, sitting in an easy chair at the back of the dining room, finding myself suddenly thinking about some issue in my life? worried about the sensation in my left hip.

[37:01]

Is my leg going to fall off? Hopefully not. And I would think probably not. Doesn't mean it doesn't need some tender care, but when some wild thought like it's going to fall off arises, hmmm. to the emotion. When the thought has a lot of energy, often it's skillful to attend to what makes it say what it says. So this letting a certain kind of immersion be facilitated.

[38:09]

This is the heart of Zen practice, literally. Immersion in now. Immersion in this activity. Experience the experience that's being experienced. And even though now this is taking on the hue of ordinariness, even though if asked, is this mind more present or at ease than your usual mind, you may be at a loss to answer that. But almost invariably, having given ourselves over for these days, the capacity to attend to it has been enhanced.

[39:16]

And I would say, can you attend to it certain amount of deep curiosity. So this is me. Who'd have thought it? And this feeling with its familiarity, but its new find reason for happening. In this way of reacting, part of my habituated being, what is it to willingly experience it as fully as possible?

[40:27]

Not to get the answer. Now I know who I really am. Now I know how to fix me or fix others. But more, it's something in the conditioned nature of your being is being illuminated. of the experience are informing, that gives rise to insight. Or as Basso's teacher said to him, those details are like rain falling. They are the Dharma rain that nourishes life. So I would encourage you, today of all days, and besides it's the only one you've got, what's going on?

[41:57]

Not as some, oh yes, that's a good Zen thing to hit the moment with in the activity of beating and getting somewhere. A tender-hearted curiosity about the human condition, of which you are a shining example. And actually, you're the one most available for your inquiry. You can examine the inner workings sometimes dense and opaque, sometimes blatantly clear, sometimes peaceful, sometimes stormy, sometimes rippling through the body in an utterly evident way, sometimes almost like a bit

[43:08]

attached thought that seems a little separate from your existence. All of this and much, much more. To come at it this day, to explore, to engage, in the brightness of each moment being itself, in the curiosity of this play, in the curiosity of this play of conditioned existence. As you open the door to your room on the break, what's your disposition?

[44:18]

What thoughts arise? Okay, now I'm going to... Not standing there ready to judge it, but more standing there as if waiting for lecture, you're standing with your nose against the window. Because about 10 years ago, Shohaka Gamora told us the whole wall was Buddha. And we thought, okay, gotcha. That helps, the whole wall is Buddha. Yeah. The whole wall is Buddha. We're all Buddha. Your room is Buddha. Opening the door is Buddha. Going to Soji is Buddha. Some quirky, incessant, painful thought.

[45:32]

That's Buddha too. Thank you.

[45:38]

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