Yes, they are. I begin to sing and listen to you.

[17:29]

Do you remember any sense? I don't know. Good morning, everyone. Welcome to Beginner's Mind Temple. It's a joy to see all of you here. Every now and then I have this thought as we're doing all this commotion and get here and get seated and settled that I would just go, okay, that's it, thank you. And then we could go home and that would be... That would be a complete teaching in and of itself. So for those of you who may not know me, my name is Tenzin David Zimmerman, and I am a resident priest here at Beginner's Mind Temple. I also currently serve as the Central Abbot for San Francisco Zen Center. A little more? How's that?

[18:32]

Better? Yeah? Okay, let me know if you need further adjustments. So here at City Center, we are in the final weeks of preparing for an upcoming year-long renovation of this temple. The residents have already begun moving to other rooms. They're moving their rooms as well as their offices to other buildings on the street on this campus. And we've also emptied out a number of the spaces that will be impacted by the renovation, including the front office, and the library, and we're taking the art down from the walls up on the upper floors, and it's all kinds of things getting packed away in preparation. And in fact, this morning we had our last service here in the Buddha Hall, and today's talk is also going to be the last talk in the Buddha Hall until January of 2025.

[19:32]

So it's going to be quite a while. And this also happens to be the last talk of the year due to the renovations as well as the upcoming holidays. And the Eno will say more about this at the end of the talk. But on Wednesday of this week, we'll have a winter solstice ceremony in the courtyard. And it will also double as a closing ceremony of sorts for the upper floors of this building. So if you're available and interested in joining us, I believe it's about 7 o'clock. in the evening, please do so. And for anyone who's not familiar with this project, the renovation of City Center is essentially about creating a more welcoming spiritual home. How many people have heard about this project? Okay, so quite a number of you, and a number of you haven't. This beautiful Julia Morgan building was originally designed and built in 19, well, 1922.

[20:35]

And it was designed as a residency for young Jewish women who were working out in the city but had a secure, safe place to live and practice. But that means it's over 100 years old, so it's a long overdue front of innovation during its 100 years of existence, including since 1969 when Zen Center bought this particular building. And... students are living here, the building has never had a major renovation or update. And so consequently, it's kind of its deterioration and kind of structural limitations have at times kind of impacted Zen Center's ability to adequately provide living conditions for our residents and also as well as support the wider community. The building's also out of step with our changing needs as a diverse community, particularly in terms of accessibility, which is why we're going to be dropping a four-story elevator smack in the middle, right over there, so people can go from the basement all the way up to the top floor.

[21:51]

And we'll also have a chairlift downstairs, and there's going to be... all new bathrooms that are general neutral, and a number of other accessibility upgrades that will really help the Sangha. So, as you can imagine, a more purposeful, welcoming temple will be able to help us to offer the Buddha Dharma and a very supportive practice space for generations to come. We hope at least another hundred years. Now, just to clarify, because I've heard sometimes people say, oh, the temple's going to be closed, and that's actually a little bit of a misnomer, because while the upper floors will be inaccessible and a good majority of the building will be inaccessible, we're delighted to be able to continue having the Zendo be open for most of the year, except for maybe two months in the summer, and we'll tell you more about that when the time comes, but... So we'll continue offering our morning and evening zazen and Dharma talks on Wednesday and Saturdays, study classes, workshops, the various affinity groups, the practice groups are going to be able to meet, such as Young Urban Zen and Meditation Recovery.

[23:09]

So all those activities will be able to continue. So we found ways to accommodate and make adjustments as necessary to support everyone's practice during this time of renovation. So in other words, although the temple is closed, the city center is still open. This reminds me of an antidote that happened about 15 years ago at Tassajara when I was the director of the monastery there. This was in the summer of 2008, during the time of the Large Basin Complex fire. And we had vacated all the guests and a number of the students in order to... close the monastery, and prepare for the possibility of the fire coming to and through Tassajara. So the Monterey County Sheriff's Office, they posted a road close sign at the very top of Tassajara Road, the very beginning of Tassajara Road, where it goes from pavement to gravel, right?

[24:09]

And this was to keep people from coming down because it's the only way in and out of Tassajara, and it's not a very... easy road to navigate. However, a carload of four Korean Buddhist tourists and their guide arrived one day unannounced at the monastery. So, Abbot Steve Stuckey and I happened to meet them at the work circle, and after exchanging a few pleasantries, Steve asked the local Korean priest, it was a Korean temple not too far, the priest who was hosting the group, he said, did you know the road is closed? And the priest replied, and he's smiling, yes, road closed, but also open. So city center will be closed, but also open. So please come and join us for practice during this coming year. Of course, it's important to acknowledge that this period of renovation is

[25:14]

is going to create a significant disruption to our communal life and our practice here at City Center. Whenever a community is ongoing, major transitions, it can be challenging, even unsettling for many of us. And the temple residents and the wider community alike have shared with me that they're feeling both excited as well as somewhat anxious about this upcoming transition. And some residents are, for example, feeling apprehensive about the prospect of moving to new rooms, different rooms, maybe rooms that aren't as nice as the one they currently have, or having to work in a new space, a more crowded space with others. And then many people have also expressed some concern that the renovation is going to disrupt the or affect the familiar routines here at City Centre, including the ways that we practice and the ways that we convene and come together.

[26:19]

And obviously, we're all going to have to make some kind of adjustments to how we engage not only the spaces and the activities available during this time, but also how we remain connected with each other, right? So, this situation, it's... offers us opportunities to be creative and to explore new ways of practicing and engaging. Kind of, I think of the time of the pandemic. You guys remember that? Long ago, way in the past, you know, when our whole lives were disrupted and thrown up in the air and we had to figure out, how am I going to practice now if I can't come to the temple and do the usual things? But so we all found ways. to continue our practice, to do the best that we could under the conditions. And so our intention, I just want to reassure everyone, our intention here at Beginner's Mind Temple is to do our best to minimize the disruption of the flow of our ongoing practice offerings so that all of you can be able to feel continually supported.

[27:30]

to practice, have a space where you can practice and a community you can come together with to be nourished and to sustain your practice. So if you have any thoughts or suggestions on that, I'm more than happy to receive them, hear them, and so we can see how we can support you. As it so happens, the renovation of city centers only one of several significant transitions that are unfolding or have been unfolding for Zen Center and the Sangha over this last while. To my mind, some of these bigger transitions started earlier this year, in March, when we installed two new abbots, Malko Vogel, abbot of City Center, and Judy Richmond Beiler, the abbot of Green Gulch. And I happened to... do my own little shift coming from inviting abbot to central abbots.

[28:32]

And this change in leadership marks the first time that all the seated abbots are the so-called next generation. And so there are none of the founding generation currently in, you would say, leadership at Zen Center. So all of it, as far as I can tell, is now next generation. So that's a big shift for the community. And in speaking of founding generation, two weeks ago, nine elder monks, the first wave of what will be about 20 Zen Center retirees, left residency here at City Center, as well as Green Gauch, and they moved to Enzo Village. And Enzo Village is a new retirement community that was just opened in Healdsburg, California, north. And Zen Center has been a key partner in coming up with the idea of Enzo Village and helping to craft it to be a Zen-inspired senior living community.

[29:33]

And, of course, the impetus for creating Enzo was to have a place where Zen Center could be able to capably take care of its elders, monks, which wouldn't be as feasible if they were housed here in residency. And this change is not only... big for the retirees who have been living and working here at Zen Center for, in some cases, many decades, two, three, four or more decades, but also for the residents that they leave behind. And so there's this kind of change, this shift in absence of a whole level of senior practitioners in terms of age as well as length of practice. And that is felt by the community that remains behind. And a number of retirees have been unassembly anxious about their transition to Enzo. You could even say reluctant. Some foot dragging going on there. But for those of you who I've spoke to since they moved in in the last two weeks to Enzo Village, they have told me they're quite pleased with their new abode, and they're looking forward to...

[30:46]

being able to contribute to creating a new practice community up at Enzo, and also connecting with and making new friends up there. And lastly, I just want to briefly mention that Zen Center is also embarking this fall on a year-long organizational transformation process. And this important initiative is meant to address not only some of the lingering impacts of the pandemic, that has had on our staffing, our operations, and our finances, but also taking into consideration the wider cultural, social, economic, and environmental challenges that had been experienced not only by many Buddhist organizations in the U.S., but actually many, many other organizations, communities, and businesses. So... We're very much at the very beginning of this process, so I can't say more. But whatever decisions that we make as a result of this organizational transformation process will obviously probably entail further changes that we'll need to kind of figure out how to operationalize and integrate and communicate to the Sangha.

[32:00]

So we will definitely be keeping everyone informed as it all unfolds and look forward to what will blossom out of this effort. So given all these changes that are happening here at Zen Center and the community and hearing about the ways that people are relating to them or experiencing them, I thought that for the rest of my talk this morning, I would explore with you through a Zen lens how we might relate to and navigate change and transitions in our lives, both the big ones and the small ones, both on an individual level and as a collective level. So that's my endeavor for this morning. Of course, at this time of year, when we're marking the solstice, the change of seasons, as well as concluding one year and moving into the next, it's a natural time to come to make transitions.

[33:05]

How many of you have a tendency, usually just around this time, to think about... changing your life and where you've been and where you're going a few years. So it's a natural time. It makes sense that we do this at this time. But the thing is, the reality is that we are constantly navigating transitions and change and uncertainty. Our whole lives are in the process of transition, even in what might appear to be relatively stable times. Every day we undergo a seemingly endless parade of transitions from, you know, the kind of mundane ones that we barely notice, you know, on a daily level, even maybe even on a weekly level. But then we have these major life transitions that can be more difficult for us to adjust to. And, you know, for example, if we have a debilitating illness, or a loss of a loved one, something like that.

[34:06]

So there's shift always happening. Change is intrinsic to the experience of being alive. And simply, therefore, it's unavoidable. You can't avoid change. And in fact, change is necessary for life to be life, and for death to be life. Without change, life is not life and death is not death. And the truth is also, this truth of change is also a financial tenant of the Dharma. When the Buddha was asked to present his Dharma in brief, he's said to have said, everything is in permanence. And similarly, when Suzuki Roshi was asked at a Dharma talk one day to sum up the Buddhist teachings in a nutshell, he said, everything changes. And he elaborates on this in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind in the chapter titled Transiency.

[35:13]

He says, the basic teaching of Buddhism is the teaching of transiency or change. That everything changes is the basic truth for all existence. No one can deny this truth. And all teaching of Buddhism is This is the teaching for all of us. Wherever we go, this teaching is true. And then he adds, So Suzuki Roshi is speaking here to what is known in Buddhism as the three marks of existence, or the three characteristics of beings in all phenomenon. Namely, they are anicca, which is impermanence, dukkha, And sometimes dukkha is translated suffering, unsatisfactory, unease, and anatta.

[36:18]

And anatta is the doctrine of non-self. It's what Suzuki Roshi called selflessness. That no unchanging, permanent self or essence can be found in any being or any phenomenon. So the Buddha taught that the nature or the defining quality of existence is is impermanence. And because of impermanence, there is no abiding, lasting, or inherent self. And he said there were only actually five skandhas or five aggregates that make up the physical and mental existence of each person, each of us. And these are matter, sensations, perception, formations, and consciousness. The thing is, these five skandhas are also always changing, always arising, abiding for a period of time, and scattering in relationship to each other.

[37:23]

So because we as humans tend to find both impermanence and the experience of non-self or selflessness very unsatisfactory, we have this sense of unease or think of it as dis-ease. In other words, we suffer. Conditions of our suffering. Now, although we're always in a state of transition, we tend to ignore this because we crave for a sense of self, and for our lives to have some semblance of continuity and persistence. Do any of you have that tendency? Oh, come on, I'm the only one here? Okay. Right? And this is due in part, it's just how we're wired as animals. Right? This desire for consistency, permanency of self. Right? And it's also part of how our minds have developed as an evolutionary approach to survival.

[38:33]

But by undermining our illusions of continuity and persistence, transitions tend to threaten our sense of self, our sense of being moment by moment contiguous entities who are autonomous and control what happens to them and their environment. So it's for this reason that change is hard because we don't know who we are in the midst of change. Buddhist teachings, however, tell us that transitions themselves and even... the great transition at the end of our lives, aren't actually the cause of suffering. Transitions aren't actually the cause of suffering. It's our resistance to impermanence and to the realization that we are neither eternal nor ultimately substantial. That's the problem. Would you agree? Some yes, some I don't know. So Suzuki Roshi...

[39:36]

says in, again, the chapter in Transidency, he tells us that without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. Because we cannot accept the truth of transidency, we suffer. So the cause of suffering is our non-acceptance of this truth. The teaching of the cause of suffering and the teaching that everything changes are thus two sides of one coin. Now there are many ways that our minds react to change, particularly to significant or disruptive change. It's common that at times of transition we tend to kind of behave without awareness or presence of mind. We kind of like lose our minds. We tend to behave instead habitually or reactively with pain or anxiety or fear. For example, maybe we complain, right? Why is this happening to me?

[40:37]

Can't things stay the way I like them? Or we get angry or we blame others for the change. For example, if so-and-so wasn't so incompetent, this wouldn't be happening. The change is someone else's fault. Or our mind might also look for comfort or for something to distract it. Or perhaps we procrastinate. as a way of dealing with the inevitable, such as maybe indulging in Netflix and a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream, rather than having to deal with the big packing for the big move, or something else that we need to take care of in the face of change. Or we try to wrangle control of the change. We... We say we're only going to accept this change if it happens on our terms and the way that we want it to, right? Did anyone do that too? So we have these agendas about how we think change should happen.

[41:42]

And if it doesn't follow our agenda, then we get upset, right? Of course, any of these coping mechanisms are probably most likely familiar to us, but they're also helpful ways that we can cope with change. And some of those might be talking to friends about what we're experiencing as we're engaging with change, getting support from others, attending to beneficial self-care during times of change, or having a reasonable plan for how to undertake the necessary preparations for change. I often find that we feel that we don't have a choice about change, We kind of feel like it's actually dropped on us. And the thing is that we do have a choice. We actually do. We have a choice about how we relate to change. We may not have choice about the nature of the change, but how we relate to it is our place of freedom.

[42:45]

And just knowing that we do have a choice can make all the difference. Changing our relationship to change begins by changing our minds. Change passing overhead. So our dislike of change, our stress about change, our resistance to change is all in our minds. Right here. Everything that bothers us about change is actually due to however our minds are relating it. So if we change our minds, we change our relationship to change, and in doing so, we find that we can actually work with change. And because our minds are adaptable and we can train them, we're able to therefore learn how to let go of things and shift our relationship to the way things are and actually open up to other possibilities, other alternatives.

[43:53]

And that's as long as we are aware of the ways our minds are causing us difficulty rather than blaming external circumstances. Then we can do something about it. And so we must pay attention, bring awareness and attention to what's happening, and then cultivate a willingness to change. Can you be willing to change at all times and then to allow change? So if we find ourselves struggling with or resisting change, we might remind ourselves of the serenity prayer, which goes, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. So while we might have mixed feelings, about change or transitions, every moment is actually an opportunity to practice awareness and clarity.

[44:59]

And so when we bring awareness to our relationship transitions, we begin to see that when we struggle with a transition, it usually has something to do with grasping or an attachment of some sort, right? Whether to an idea, to an identity we might have, to an object, or to some type of experience. In other words, times of change offer us an opportunity to learn about ourselves, to see our kind of habitual tendencies, our patterns, the way that we grasp or avoid, and in the process then we kind of become unbalanced, destabilized, or we get stuck in a particular way of engaging. And then... if we're able to study our habit patterns, we can also learn to let go of what it is that we need to let go of in the process of change and transition. And so doing so, we can learn to move through the transitions with greater ease and skillfulness.

[46:01]

Of course, different kinds of changes are going to affect our challenge, our attachments in different ways. In most cases, our transition from day-to-day or even week-to-week may not be hard for us. And maybe the seasonal change isn't all that difficult for us either, or even year-to-year change. Sometimes I wonder, why are we celebrating New Year's? It's just another day. Why don't we celebrate New Year's on July 30th or something like that? Every day is a new year. In fact, we might even be looking for it to change, thinking, for example, change of year. Good riddance 2023. That year surely sucks. However, there are other kinds of change, ones that are more challenging for us, and ones where we have more attachments of some sort, such as changing in your housing situation, maybe a job change, a relationship change, or changing to our bodies.

[47:11]

So our rent increases, and suddenly we're strapped financially, or we get fired from our job, or our partner leaves us, or we realize we're starting to get gray hair and wrinkles, and it doesn't accord with our sense of ourselves in some way, right? And each of these transitions can become more difficult for us the more attachments we have, the more expectations we have around them, right? Because we have... beliefs, habits, and ways of being that we realize during times of change that suddenly we have to surrender or we have to let go of them to be able to accommodate the truth of the change that we're experiencing. And this could be exciting in some cases, but it also most of the time is some kind of anxiety-producing. And again, it depends what it is that we want and what we don't want. All the same, change is change. It's not something we're used to. Now, being able to more skillfully navigate the bigger change in our lives, I would suggest, begins by learning how to bring mindfulness to the smaller ones that we are encountering.

[48:21]

For example, the process of acknowledging, accepting impermanence can begin with simply noting our ever-changing breath in meditation, observing both the constant flow of the breath as well as that moment when the in-breath becomes the out-breath. Staying with that awareness of breath really helps us to be able to stay present with all kinds of change as it unfolds. And we can also find a sense of composure during times of transition when we find our own upright, still posture. In other words, our posture of zazen. And finding our posture begins by coming home to ourselves and to our bodies. home to the immediate, direct, and present moment embodied experience. What is this right here, right now? And by finding our upright, composed posture of body and mind, then we can engage with whatever change is happening from a place of steadfast presence and mindfulness.

[49:32]

It's actually helpful to practice mindfulness even during those mundane moments in your daily life. For example, when you step through the threshold, if you're leaving your house, or if you're beginning your workday. For example, here at City Center, we have this practice, as you enter the zendo, that you enter in with your left foot closest to the jam, the door jam. And doing so reminds you to pause... and to be aware of both your body and the environment around you. And you can ask yourself, am I present or am I lost in thought? Am I available and connected right here, right now, as I move through this place of change? And it can help us be more conscious of the transitional landscape that we're navigating. So as a sangha, we also have this practice every morning during the week

[50:35]

of beginning our workday by offering fragrance and boughs and gathering in the dining room and just kind of sharing, checking in, just acknowledging this is how we're starting our workday. And so making a ceremony or ritual to mindfully and symbolically mark times of change can help us enter the next moment with intention. What is my intention as I enter into this change? And in Zen's tradition, we have all kinds of ceremonies that mark transitions. We've got memorials, ordinations, solstices, equinoxes, New Year's Eve ceremonies. And many of these ceremonies, if you attend to them, you'll notice that they usually include some kind of element of purification or cleansing. This idea of can we let go of, wash away that which was old and stagnant and make room for new possibilities, new options.

[51:44]

So washing away the old karma and creating open space for new intentions. And if I'm practicing mindfulness whenever encountering a transition... And particularly if I notice I'm stressed out or resistant to the change that I'm accounting, then I'm more able to step out of whatever narratives, ideas, judgments I have about this change. And I can instead stay grounded in the present moment and the pure experience of things just as it is right here and right now. And again, if I'm stressing or resisting, it's probably because I have thoughts about the situation. Oh, this is going to be terrible. This change is going to be terrible. I don't think I can handle it. I don't want to deal with it. And it's these, again, it's these thoughts that are the cause of our suffering, not the situation. The situation just exists.

[52:47]

It's neither good nor bad. It's only our judgments that color them otherwise. So in response to what? Ideas we might have about pending change, we might repeat a phrase from one of my favorite Zen koans, which I won't go into, but the phrase is basically, is that so? Oh, this big transition. It's going to be terrible. Is that so? I'm not going to be okay going through it. Is that so? How do you know? How do you know this? You don't know the future. You don't know what's going to happen. You can't predict it. So we might have good reasons for expecting that change might be difficult, it might be inconvenient, but we don't know what the actual experience of it is going to be until we're actually smack in the middle of it. And even then, sometimes not until we're on the other side of the change. So can we meet the transition with a beginner's mind?

[53:48]

With an open, curious mind? A mind that's free of... about what the change means or is going to bring. A beginner's mind is a mind that willingly embraces not knowing. To truly embrace change is to embrace not knowing. Another practice I find helpful for centering and balancing myself during times of change is that of equanimity. And the Pali word for equanimity, upeka, translates essentially as equanimity. to look over, meaning to see all around, like from a high mountaintop, and the peak, the highest peak, and you can see the landscape all the way around. And you see everything from all sides, and you also see it with equal regard. You have more of a balanced view. You can take everything into consideration. And sometimes Opeka is translated as non-discrimination, impartiality,

[54:53]

Tolerance, letting go. Non-attachment, which is different from indifference. And so can we bring an open and partial, non-judgmental and inclusive mind to whatever we're viewing and experiencing in times of transition? And this really means in many cases we have to slow down. Oftentimes change. We feel like we have to rush. We have to go fast. But can we pause and Can we come to stillness for a moment? Check in with ourselves, right? And notice what are the thoughts and feelings that are coming up for me, right? And when we notice them, can we notice them just as thoughts and feelings, not truth, but just thoughts and feelings, just kind of passing phenomenon through a wide open sky, right? And we can... Allow them to be what they are without engaging them, without believing them, without reifying them.

[55:55]

But instead, meet them with a sense of spaciousness and kindness and letting go. Then when we do this, we're less likely to resist what's happening because we're not getting caught in our ideas about what's happening. And when practicing anonymity, we uncover our innate capacity to welcome anything and everything. from a small adjustment to a world-changing upset, from the deepest pain to the greatest joy, without some coming to some sense of helplessness or overwhelm. And with each breath, we can nourish equanimity and feel our stability and our composure just growing kind of deeper and wider. And finally, we can also allow ourselves to meet any transition with gratitude, appreciation, and compassion. While I know many of the Zen Center retirees and residents alike have expressed anxiety about the forthcoming changes, I know that many of them are also very grateful.

[57:04]

They've expressed to me and others how much gratitude they have. Grateful to have a comfortable, attractive, and supportive place to which to retire. Right? or that their beloved home temple is going to get a much-needed care and improvement. If we can appreciate the many gifts and possibilities that change has to offer, then we're more able to find beauty and benefit and not only change itself, but in this present moment just as it is. And lastly, as I noted earlier, of course change isn't easy, And for this reason, can we extend compassion and kindness to ourselves and to others whenever we're going through a significant change? Whatever suffering might be coming up for us, whatever struggle we might be going through, can we offer ourselves this open-hearted compassion and understanding?

[58:08]

And this includes allowing ourselves to grieve, as needed, any loss that may accompany the change. We're not going to deny that there's grief there, right? We have to make the space to grieve for loss. But while the external situation may not change, when we're able to actively cultivate and practice gratitude and appreciation and compassion, then our relationship with the external situation can change. So I just want to end with a final reminder. Amid any transition, there's always the opportunity and the capacity to come home to ourselves, to this present moment embodied experience and just dwell here. And this doesn't mean coming to our karmically conditioned self with all its thoughts and feelings, all its worries and fears and anxieties.

[59:13]

We acknowledge that. We need that. But we're always ultimately trying to come home to our true selves, to our Buddha mind, our fundamental awareness, and rest in that awareness. So when we learn to rest in the unconditioned, ever-present, luminous awareness, which I think of that which is beyond change, ultimately beyond change, then we can be truly at home, right here, right now. 17th century Japanese Zen master Banke, he called this Buddha mind the unborn. He said, in the unborn, all things are perfectly resolved. All things fall right into place and remain in perfect harmony. So even though conditions around us are in tremendous and what seem like endless flux, our Buddha mind, our boundless, luminous,

[60:15]

unwavering new wisdom mind is always available to us. It's a raft or a refuge as we navigate the great ocean of impermanence. So I'd like to end with some relevant, timely wisdom by Hopi elders in Araibai, Arizona. And this is part of what is known as a prophecy. And this is the second part of it. It goes like this. There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river. Keep our eyes open and our heads above the water.

[61:16]

And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt. The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves. Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. We are the ones that we have been waiting for. So, I look forward to continuing our practice together through this next year, regardless of whatever transitions we may be navigating, either individually or collectively. And I want to thank you again for your kind attention and patience and presence. And now we'll transition to a little bit of Q&A.

[62:22]

I think we have a little time left. So if you have anything you'd like to share, bring up, questions, etc., Kay has a microphone. If you're in the room, you can raise your hand. And if you're online, you can know that the... Online staff, no, you have a question. Thank you, David. This is a very problematic area for me. At one point, my therapist told me that aging was about loss, and my response was to quit therapy. I just wasn't... I said, maybe for other people, but not for me. And I tend to see the changes that can be seen as losses, as difficulties and depletions and hardship.

[63:35]

But I am sitting every morning... in the online Zendo, and I was wondering if you could suggest some phrase about change. I have different things I say to myself while I'm sitting there, repeat, but I don't have anything about accepting change that I say to myself. I mean, I'm thinking that might help me if I could say that every day when I'm doing Zazen. Maybe simply, may I be open to change. May I be open to change. Yeah, may I be open to change. Yeah, thank you. May I see the beauty and benefit in change. That's really hard. And so start a practice looking for the beauty and benefit of change. You know, if you didn't take the garbage out of your house and that didn't change... your house would be filled up with garbage. So you want that to change, right?

[64:37]

Yes. There's all kinds of changes you really want. Yes. So start looking for that. Notice the changes I actually want to accept. Because I think there are many of those as are the ones you don't want to accept. Mm-hmm. Right? So can I be open to change? Can I appreciate change? You know, the leaves in the courtyard, changing color, how beautiful it is. Yes, it means the time of those leaves is coming to an end. Of course. But can we see the beauty in the midst of the transition? Right? And the transidency. And the fact that tree will continue to live because it's dropping its leaves. It's taking a time to go quiet, to go dormant. Right? And then in spring it will come back to life. Right? So every living thing requires change. Yeah. But we be fixed. Right? And that would be, I think, even more painful, right? So acknowledge change.

[65:37]

Make a list of all the changes that you experience that you actually have some form of appreciation for, right? And the fact that you have wisdom now as someone who's lived the many decades that you have lived, that you've had all the experiences you had, that's a great gift, right? Honor that. Celebrate that. Yes, that is a great gift. That's right. So simply may I welcome and be open to this change. May I learn from it. May I touch its wisdom in some way. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Anyone else? Thank you for your talk.

[66:40]

I think one thing that came up for me was, as you're talking about, beginner's mind and bringing that to transitions and change. And I think what's coming up is how to do that along with not losing our experience, especially when there is some agency involved in the change. So I'm curious about your thoughts about that. I find that if I use whatever wisdom I have from navigating previous changes, I kind of find these things help if I do this, this, and this as preparation. If I think about everything I need to take care of, write it down, and then actively walk through it. If I think about just all the ways that I have gained from change in some way. So if I take care of that, but then... I keep that in mind, but I also leave room for other learnings, other possibilities.

[67:43]

I leave room for, I don't know what this is actually going to bring. There will be probably a new lesson, a new wisdom, a new turning of experience that I might have here that will increase or expand my understanding of how to navigate change. So I can use what skillful means that have helped me in the past, Am I open to learning something new that will be specific to this situation, this moment, and may build upon or be actually different from what I've learned before? Is that helpful? I think so. Thank you. Any others? Looks like we have a hand online. And then there's one over here too.

[68:45]

Okay, Maria Elena, go ahead. We're not hearing you yet. Okay, try again. Maybe she can type the question into. Yeah, sorry about that. We're not hearing you come through. Oh, wait, I think I might know what it is. Okay, try again. Can you try asking your question? Oh, shoot. Okay. Sorry about that. Please go ahead and type your question in the chat. It looks like people online can hear.

[69:54]

However, yeah, we're not hearing you in the zendo, so if you could ask your question in the chat, and then I'll read it out to us in the room. So, Choku had a question, and maybe, wow, Miriam Lane is typing. entertain us. Thank you for your talk. I really appreciated the image that you read at the end of the river and letting go and my first image of that was that the river was very fast and navigating that or letting go into that fast change and maybe that's just something about what I feel right now and renovation change. But my second thought was and sometimes when I'm Observing my own internal response to things, it feels like the ways I would like to change are laboriously slow. How much change happens internally. And so I wonder if you have anything to say about that and one's desire to change internally and then observe that you're not changing as much internally as you would like.

[71:04]

Well, there's where the... Paramita of Kshanti, patience, comes into play. Can we be patient for the change to unfold in the way that's going to unfold in its own time? And you also notice you have an idea of how the change should look and the timeline it should happen in. And so, again, you have this idea that you're applying to the situation. And if we can let go of that and actually say, may this happen in the time that it needs to happen. And is there something I can do to support that process? Yes, but maybe there isn't a whole lot I can do. So then practicing patience, spaciousness, you know, a willingness to allow things to be as they are, and then go from there, you know. And I find sometimes when I'm waiting, like I'm... with this hurry up and change, I have to come back to my body and just note how the tension in my body has kind of crept up and my shoulders are getting up here and I'm just getting constricted.

[72:12]

And I notice myself, okay, breathe, David, just breathe, relax. And I make this effort, just go through my whole body and just slowly relax each and every part that feels tense, right? And then also have a sense of my heart opening up. Okay, can I open to this? Can I accept this as this? You know? And so I have to do that sometimes, many times, throughout the process of waiting for things to change. But it brings some sense of ease. So I'm a little less aggravated by the fact that things are going the way that I want them to go. Is that helpful? Choku is the director of City Center, and they've been navigating and orchestrating a lot of the change that's happened, you know, getting people to move things and, you know, communicating and so on. So it's an amazing job you're doing. Thank you so much for all your wonderful support and effort of the Sangha and dealing with everyone's resistances, you know, and thoughts and ideas about it.

[73:18]

You're doing a wonderful job. So thank you again. Okay, do we know if Maria Elena is available? She's available. She's doing the impossible task of trying to summarize her thoughts into text form. So maybe, do you have a question here? I appreciate what you were saying earlier about how some change is beneficial, like taking out the trash. That's such a... great example i was wondering if you could say a few words about um and perhaps in some ways you've already answered this question but what about um when it when it is a desire change but you feel like you're the person responsible for it going well so i have a change i'm kind of in charge of that i've been kind of putting off for years and um And there's no one else in my family that can really take care of this thing for us. So how do you deal with change when you feel like you're responsible for it actually going well?

[74:19]

Because in some ways that's about control. And yet, you know. So you're afraid it won't go well if you start attending to it? More that it feels like all the responsibility is on me for it to go well. Well, this is where we sometimes make our sense of self too big, right? I'm responsible for it all. You're not. The whole universe is unfolding. The whole universe is coming together in this moment. You're just one part of the tremendous change that's happening. Yes, you may be a primary change agent in this moment for it to happen, but the change isn't going to happen unless the whole universe works with you, in whatever way it's going to work or not with you. So just this one little step. Just one little step and see what unfolds. Next little step and see what unfolds. And not think that the whole world is on our shoulders. That it's all about us in some way.

[75:20]

Because sometimes in there is, I have to look good. I have to be good. I got to get it right. People are going to be upset with me and so on. If I don't get it right, you can't get it right. Change is going to unfold the way it's going to unfold. You can make your best effort, and then this is where then you just kind of have to release and open up and say, oh, look what unfolded here, right? But, you know, the journey of a thousand miles starts with one footstep, right? And over time, we realize suddenly we've traveled so far in that. So, again, looking at what holds me back. Do I really believe I am the only one responsible here? Is that true? Is that so? Is that really so? My guess is the change you need to make, you have to collaborate with others. And there will be equal partners in that change, in that process. So how do you invite them into that in a way that you don't find yourself solely responsible?

[76:27]

Thank you. That's very helpful. Good luck. Okay, one final question. Maria Elena. So Maria Elena says, I just want to thank the ending poem since it points to the importance of the words we use. I think our modern languages support the vision of struggle and individuality. Any comments on that? I think going back to just the response I had, we're collective existence. Nothing unfolds with our being alone in this. So everything is collaborating, working together for the unfolding of this present moment, the whole universe. And even though we may only have

[77:30]

our particular view from our particular Dharma seat in this moment, we're still one wave, one flow of current in the whole ocean of change, right? And so to remember that, to keep coming back to our interconnectedness and how it is that even if this one makes a small change, the ripples it might have can be significant in some way. So, you know, this is part of, I know... my understanding as part of many Native American traditions, is to think the change that I make now, am I thinking about seven generations from now? Am I thinking about many, many people who will come past me after I am dead? Is what I'm trying to cultivate in terms of change and possibility, am I taking those into regard? Am I taking those who aren't even born yet into consideration in what it is that I'm trying to affect in terms of change? And that...

[78:31]

I think that also takes the weight of me, me, me out of the equation. I do my best, but then I have to trust the rest of the unfolding of the universe to do what it's doing. So it's a gift I can offer, and then I have to let go of it. I make my offering, I let go. I make my offering, I let go. It may or may not take seed. It may or may not grow and bloom. It's all dependent on the conditions. most of which I can't control. So this idea of we're together in this unfolding, transitory, moment-by-moment existence. I feel less alone in this navigating change when I remind myself of that. And that brings me a sense of ease, joy, connectedness. Thank you, Maria Elena. And thank you, everyone, again. We should wrap up. Thank you. May our intention equally extend to every being and place.

[79:43]

Welcome, everyone, and thank you all for being here. I would like to, as always, invite everyone to come and join us for practice meditation. We will continue throughout the next year to have morning and evening meditation. You can show up at the Laguna Street entrance door, 5.30 in the morning, 5.30 in the evening, and join us in the zendo for zazen. If you are... Newer to meditation and newer to the San Francisco Zen Center, we have on Saturdays at 8.40 in the morning zazen instruction. And we had it this morning. The next one will be in the new year. And then following the talk, there is zendo forms instruction. And this is kind of an introduction to the zendo and how to move through that space and navigate it with ease. anyone who would like to join that today, I'll be leading it, and you can just meet me in the lobby about five minutes after we end.

[83:36]

I want to let folks know, as David did, that coming up this next Wednesday, the 20th, at 7 p.m., we'll have our winter solstice ceremony and also a temple closing ceremony. Again, the zender will stay open, but this is a chance to gather It'll be the last public event in this part of the building. We'll meet in the courtyard and acknowledge this time of transition. Following that, we'll be open all of next week, but then following that will be an interim for the holidays and the end of the year. So the 23rd through the 31st, the temple will be closed. The physical zendo will be closed. Actually, I don't know if the online zendo will be closed, but I kind of suspect it may be... It will not be closed.

[84:39]

Thank you. The online zendo is still open. And then the next Dharma talk will be January 3rd, and Tova will be giving that talk. to start us out in the new year. And then the regular schedule will resume in the first week of January. So please consider supporting the San Francisco Zen Center. There are ways to donate online. There's a donation box in the lobby. Please support the ongoing activities that happen here. And I'm wondering, is there an announcement from Urban Gate Sangha? Thank you. Urban Gate Sangha is a San Francisco Zen Center practice group of non-residents, local people who come and support San Francisco Zen Center on a regular weekly basis usually to take part in helping produce the ceremonial roles like ringing the bell here or downstairs in the Zen Dow.

[85:51]

We meet early Saturday mornings at 8.50. Of course, there's a lot of changes going on, and we'll be discussing those later today with Tonto Tim is not here. So anyways, if you're interested, talk to me or this friend here or Tonto Tim who is sitting there, and we can add you to the Google group and receive email announcements. Thank you. Thank you, and thank you all again for being here. We now have tea and cookies available in the courtyard. Please stick around and enjoy. And as usual, if we could bring cushions back to the rack, and chairs can go back to the dining room if you're able to. Have a wonderful afternoon.

[86:41]

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