Good morning. Good morning. Is that morning? Is that audible? This is very strange. You all used to be the same size and very close. And now you're very, very far away and very small. So I miss your faces. I can't really see them so well. But here we are, back in reality. So I don't know what to say to you, actually, about sitting. today. I think you already know everything there is to know. You've been sitting for quite a while, some of you quite a while, and some of you for many months now, and in fact we sat for a couple of hours this morning, and you're sitting now. What could I say? Just sitting. What I can talk about is my own practice of sitting, and what it is that's been helpful for me over many years, starting with my body.

[01:05]

My body. It's funny, it's a noun, but actually, as we all know, it's hard to point at. What is it? Where is it? My body. Your bodies. But it's my body that's been teaching me how to sit. It teaches me pretty much everything. And I have made a request of my body to let me sit upright and to be still. I made that request a long time ago, and I keep making it year after year. So each of you have been making that request as well. And today we're making an extra big request of our bodies here together to sit upright and still. I remember years ago trying to get my body to do things that it didn't like, such as a full lotus. And I will not share with you the gory details of that effort.

[02:09]

However, I did find, eventually, a comfortable way to sit in half lotus, which I'm doing right now. And I think some of you also have found a comfortable way to sit, maybe Burmese-style, one leg in front of the other, or half lotus, full lotus, or in a chair. Someone asked Suzuki Roshi, what's the difference between sitting cushion and sitting chair? And he said, the only difference is the legs. So although our bodies look somewhat similar, you know, legs, arms, torso, a head, I think they're quite different, quite unique. Each one unique. No two alike. And each one of our bodies has a special set of requirements in order to sit upright. Special needs. Recently, I've been really appreciating looking back over the talks that Suzuki Roshi gave to his new American students when he arrived about Zen, about their bodies, about how to sit.

[03:22]

And he offered them the same simple practice that we're all doing today. which is the same simple practice that Dogen gave to his monks and that Shakyun Buddha gave to his. So I found it really important, essential, necessary to try to understand what it is my body needs in order for me to do this simple practice of upright sitting. An old Zen master once said that the greatest pilgrimage of my life has been my body. So the nearest thing that I know about how to take care of my own body, I learned from my dog, Mac. Many of you never met Mac. I'm sorry for that. He was a wonderful, wonderful being. I was going to say animal. Way beyond animal. Way beyond human. Very kind. Very good being. So I took care of Mac, dear old Mac.

[04:29]

And he never complained about his body. Never once. Not even the time that he swam out in the ocean or sprang to his tail and he couldn't wag it for several weeks. He looked so sad. He loved to wag his tail. Didn't complain. And he didn't complain when he got old and tired and he couldn't walk very well anymore and could barely eat. Finally he just lay down in the yard about my house looking up with that same warm, welcoming gaze that he'd always had. My family. My family. So I want my body and my gaze to be like that too. Patient, kind, welcoming, without complaint. When Salon asked Suzuki Roshini how you know when you're enlightened, he replied, when you no longer complain. Imagine that. So as I said, I think all of you already know everything there is to know about sitting, about your own sitting.

[05:40]

And you already know that it's never the same. No two periods, no two minutes, no hours, no days, never the same. It's always a surprise, it's always changing, there's nothing to take a hold of, nothing to show for it. Just change. And yet I think we also know that there is something that we imagine that doesn't appear to change. And that something is what came here to study Zen. Fire boy comes seeking fire. Awakening comes looking for itself. Have you seen my awakening? I've been looking for it everywhere. And here it is. Just this. Just this is it. This ungraspable, unknowable, unlimited true nature of reality itself. Which just like the good dog Mac is patiently waiting for the family to come home again.

[06:48]

And while the good dog waits, it's not a bad idea to pay some attention to the parts of our bodies that have not yet settled in for a much needed rest. Such as the back. and the shoulders, the intestines, your diaphragm, the muscles of your face, your eyebrows. Greatest pilgrimage of our life, namely owning and releasing over and over again, each and every part, each and every day. So when I first sit in the morning, I approach my cushion, as all of you do, and I take as much time as I need to arrange my body in a way that it likes. So first, I pull my left heel, as I did just now, into my thigh of my left leg.

[07:52]

I was told by a yoga teacher long ago, the knee doesn't like to be bent to the side. It only likes to act like a hinge. The knee is a hinge joint. So you first, you hinge your knee, and then you turn it from ball and socket of your hip. Loves to turn. Happy to rotate. So you lift your leg up with the ball and socket, and for me, I place my left foot on my right leg, as Dogen mentions in the Fukunza Zengi. After that, I arrange my robes, which you may have noticed, takes a while. kind of like making your bed from inside, getting it all tucked in and tidy. And then I notice the kind of just-so position that my buttocks needs to have on the cushion, which at the moment is not quite right. Excuse me.

[08:57]

So I've kind of memorized that position over many years of not getting it quite right. And what happens next? As Dogen also says, a hair's breadth deviation fails to accord with the proper attunement. And that hair's breadth deviation, when it comes to the placement of your buttocks on the cushion or the chair, can create a tremendous amount of numbing pain, which some of you may have found already. And please, if you have, let one of us know right away. Because that's your sciatic nerve, and there have been many heroics and students who have succumbed to sciatic pain. So if you have any numbing pain once you get up, if it lasts for a while, then please talk to somebody because maybe you need to find the right position for your buttocks on the chair or the cushion. So once your legs are settled, once my legs are settled, I put my attention on my spine. Wonderful, wonderful spine.

[09:58]

I start at the base and then I notice the curves. that my spine has grown into. There's a big curve at the lower back that goes in toward the abdomen, the lumbar curve, and then up through the shoulder blades to the neck where there's another curve, a smaller curve that goes in toward the neck, toward the throat. So these two together make an S shape. And that S shape is very important for us. We evolved over millions of years to have this S-shaped, so that we can withstand the pressure of gravity on the top of our heads. Some of us forget that, you know, particularly in our teenage years. We start to curl over. So, a very good way to see the correct alignment of the human body is to look at a small child who's just learned how to walk. Absolutely perfect. Totally balanced. There's also some great stuff on YouTube.

[11:04]

I highly recommend you study your spine, the alignment of your spine. It's so important for our practice. Upright sitting. Our heads are very heavy. I'm not sure how much. How many pounds? 10 to 15 pounds or something. Very heavy. All that stuff we've been thinking. So if your head is out of alignment, if it's leaning forward, you'll notice your shoulders start to hurt. And it becomes an habit. If you're leaning to the side, the same thing. All that gravity pushing on your head and pushing on your spine will again create some long-range pain and problems for your body. So while you can, while you're young and still relatively supple, do what you can to honor and make a good habit of the language. So another easy way to find the correct relationship between your upright posture and earth's gravity is by something that's called rocking your body right and left.

[12:09]

It doesn't say much about that, but years ago I was at Tassajara practicing and there was a real monk from A.H.G. who came to visit us. So I went up to him and asked if he had any hints for sitting practice and he gave me a wonderful practice that I've done ever since. He said, before you sit, let your body, starting at the base, lean over as you exhale. And then when you get to the bottom of that exhale, let the rest of the air, kind of force the rest of the air out. Not aggressively, but just the last little bit of air. And you'll find that it's amazing. You can lean even further. Just naturally, you'll go over further. So then I lean this way, exhale on it. Exhale, and I do that with the center of my back. Both directions.

[13:14]

And my neck. Anyway, sorry, that's so nice. Feels really good. That's how I start my sitting. This is really nice, just getting my spine a little gentle exercise, a little gentle yoga. So please, if you like, you can join me in that. So it's another one of my daily practices. So Dovan also reminds us that our ears are aligned with our shoulders. You can actually check that out. Are my ears? My shoulders. Or are my ears forward? So pulling the head back is oftentimes you'll find. Another good way to look for an upright posture is to put your back against a wall and your head against the wall. And then take a few steps forward. You'll be amazed at how you're not straight. So you can check that. Just stand against the wall.

[14:15]

See if you can learn that. Ears with the shoulders, nose with the navel. Quiet the tongue by resting it against the front roof of the mouth with your teeth and lips both shut. But not, as my dentist says, who is a sitter, pressed tightly together. The teeth should not be clenched. In fact, it's really important that your teeth do not... When you're sleeping, some of you may have a mouth guard that keeps my mouth from tightening. This tension in the jaw is really hard to get rid of. So by keeping the teeth lightly open, I find that also to be very relaxing for this part. Eyes are open with a soft, welcoming gaze down at a 45 degree angle. And then once I settle my body, I bring my arms somewhat naturally, just as you would if someone said, bring your arms together.

[15:21]

Just bring your arms together. There's nothing fancy about it. Sometimes I notice some of you, you know, making a beautiful effort, but I don't think that's going to be sustainable. So just bring your arms together. The elbows are somewhat relaxed, you know, not pressed it against my sides, but they're there, they're close by. I think there's an instruction that as though you had a raw egg under your armpits, that kind of distance. And the fingers overlap. My right hand is below my left, so just the fingers are together and overlapping. So I'm going to make a little cradle out of my hands, and then I bring my thumbs Thumbtips together gently at the tips. I don't think you can see it if I do it this way. But anyway, then I make this kind of oval shape, which I like to look at too to see if it's still the kind of shape that feels good.

[16:22]

So I look at my oval shape sometimes. Okay, that was fine. And then I place my baby fingers, I press them gently into my abdomen with the thumbs at the height of my navel. Not into the navel, but at the height of the navel. So if you were to reach in with your thumbs, you'd find your belly button. In fact, this is called the cosmic mudra. Cosmic mudra. And long ago someone said, well, it's kind of like a belly button that connects you to the universe. So you don't forget. You're not separate from the universe. You're still connected to the great mother of us all. So in this way, through careful attention to the details, each part of our whole body is invited to practice together as an awakening being. Dogen says, the Zazen I speak of is not learning meditation. It is simply the Dharma gate of repose and bliss.

[17:24]

The practice realization of totally culminated enlightenment. It is the manifestation of ultimate reality. traps and snares can never reach it. Once its heart is grasped, you are like a dragon gaining the water, like a tiger taking to the mountains." How nice is that? And furthermore, he says, we don't even need to leave the seat that exists right here in our own home in order to find the right Dharma. The right Dharma is right here in this very body and this very mind filled to the brim with life itself. Once having allowed our bodies to settle into an upright and stable posture, we can begin attending to the subtle and persistent movements of the breath and of the mind. Body, breath, and mind.

[18:28]

You know, like clouds topping a mountain. Breathing is a very good sign that your body is still alive. And it's a very good sign, as you notice you're breathing for a while, that you're beginning to quiet your mind. Inhaling and exhaling. Over and over again. Like a tiny turtle on the open ocean. Just this is it. Allowing your attention to rest on your breathing is a very good way to calm yourself. And calming yourself is a very good way to discern what is real. Calm the mind, discern the real. So upright sitting with a calm mind, shamatha, tranquility.

[19:33]

is the method of learning that we had been given by the Buddhas and ancestors. It's the very best kind of learning, by ourselves, about ourselves, which the Buddhas and ancestors have told us we will soon discover is just like them. The same as we. The essential practice of our school is the very thing that we are doing today. We're sharing the space and we're deepening our connection to one another and to all things through the simple practice of upright sitting. It's hard to believe. Our practice is not about listening to a lecture. It's not about understanding anything. It's not about perfecting the skill. And it's not about enlightenment either.

[20:40]

Our practice is the joy that we find in sharing our time together. Without some forms or some limitations, true joy, Suzuki Roshi says, cannot be found. In the tradition of tea, which my dear friend Maya and I have practiced for many years, Although not together, sadly to say, we're from different schools. So strange. We use the word keiko for practice in tea, a term that the head of my tea school says means consider ancient times. Practice is considering ancient times. And this in turn implies that through repeated practice of the traditional forms, forms that were considered important long, long ago, those forms are brought back to life again, as are the founding teachers of tea.

[21:46]

I think this is true also of the ancient practices of the Buddha's ancestors, when done by us. They brought back to life again the spirit of an awakening being, a life that has passed through thousands and thousands of years, and hundreds of thousands of miles to live through us again, right here at Green Gulch Farm. That spirit as practiced in Zen, so dozen, to be precise, is simply devotion to sitting, total engagement in immovable sitting. Although there are as many minds as there are persons, still they all negotiate the way solely in Zazen, the essential working of the Buddha way. And even though Zen is not something to talk about, as we are often told, it is also something to talk about, as we've also been told.

[22:53]

And so, therefore, I'm going to say a few more things about the practice of Zen that Suzuki Roshi gave to help guide us in negotiating Words that tell us how sitting by itself, zazen by itself, without the guidance of a teacher or the teachings, may not be good enough for us in order to find our way home. For example, you may have had some unusual experiences while sitting. Experiences that you might assume have something to do with enlightenment. One such student went to Suzuki Roshi expecting to be praised for what had been appearing in his mind during and after his meditation practice. And I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I had a similar experience with my teacher when I was at Tassavara. And Roshi said to him, much like my teacher said to me, hmm, soon you won't be having this problem.

[24:02]

This is common with beginning students. Your practice is okay, so just keep sitting. On another occasion, when our founding teacher was asked about enlightenment itself, he said, I think you won't like it. I think it's really hard for us to understand, you know, what it is that we're looking for when we come to practice. And it's also hard for us not to be looking for something. And yet the basic teaching of our school tells us over and over again that it's only when we are completely involved in our daily activities like this one, taking care of each thing, each part, each body, moment by moment, with wholehearted effort, that the thing we are looking for suddenly appears.

[25:04]

which is the very same moment in which the one who is looking suddenly matches. Just this is it. No inside, no outside. What we thought was myself is just activity, not my activity or your activity or the world's activity. It's just this activity that includes everything. right here and right now, when we hear a bird sing. One of my favorite chapters of Suzuki Roshi's teachings on the Sandokai is called Blue Jay Will Come Right Into Your Heart. His teachings on the Sandokai are found in this book, Branching Streams, Flow in the Dark, which is a wonderful book. Take a look at it soon.

[26:08]

This talk is one of 12 he gave at Tassahara the year before he died. On the Sandokai, the harmony of difference and equality was written by a Chinese Zen ancestor Sekito Kisen, Shito in Chinese, as an expression of his enlightenment. This particular talk, number four, is about two verses from the poem. All the objects of the senses interact and yet do not. Interacting brings involvement. Otherwise, each keeps its place. So these two verses in particular are encouraging us to study ourselves through the experiences that we are having through our senses. Hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting, touching. And one very good way of doing this is by giving ourselves time, like today, to reflect on ourselves and to reconsider what we are seeing and hearing, thinking, feeling, doing, and believing.

[27:23]

And by asking ourselves a simple Zen question, is that so? I really appreciated Rep's recent talk when he kept responding to almost every question with the answer of giving. Generosity. Giving your attention. Giving your time. Giving yourself. Time and space to reconsider our intention toward each other and toward the world. And especially to reflect on the silence and stillness at the core of our existence. It's there. It's always there. Silently waiting for us to visit. And not just to visit, but to dance. As it did with the young prince as he sat under a tree.

[28:25]

And as it did for dear old Mac, especially that last few minutes of his life. And as it will for us too, if we sit quietly enough to hear it. Once we touch base with our core, our oneness, and our equality, shamatha, we can then reflect on this tiny living world, vipassana, with its multitudes of suffering beings in which each and every one of them, as different and as unique as they are, has equal value. as each and every one of us. This is what's meant by the harmony of difference and equality. And it's what's meant by the mind of the great sage of India. And in Sekito's own story, which I encourage you to read for yourselves in Kezon's wonderful book called The Transmission of Light, he goes through two stages of awakening.

[29:34]

The first one is intellectual. He's very smart. And he's done a lot of reading. All the sutras, all the commentaries, all the koans. This is called the stage of vision. He can see it. He knows it. He understands. And at that point, Sekito has a dream of himself riding on a sea turtle with Huaynon, the sixth ancestor, on the ocean of Nawa. So knowledge is good, you know, it's very good. But there's a problem. So with all of that knowledge in hand, when Sekito calls on a Zen master and gives him a lot of very clever responses to the teacher's questions at the conclusion of their conversation, the use of Sekito's vast intellectual ability comes to an abrupt end.

[30:37]

At the very moment, his teacher hits him in the face with his whisk. Silence and stillness. At that moment, Sekito experiences the second stage of awakening, the one that brings him truly to life, reminds him of the core of his being before he can speak or think or move from that spot of earth on which he is sitting. Just sitting. This is called the stage of being. Just this is it. After his second awakening, when all of his personal doubts, his arrogance, his mental gymnastics have dropped away, Sekito writes the poem, the song. He is now simply devoted to conveying the teaching of awakening in a way that he hopes will help humans as yet to be born.

[31:40]

and Lakshasugiroshi who named this poem as his very favorite. So given that the poem begins with the mind of the great sage of India, our practice also begins with the biggest and most inclusive approach to what it is that we are trying to learn from this teaching. An approach that includes all of our desires, our selfishness, our judgments, and everything that we need to explore in order to know what the mind is made of and what it responds to. Buddha's great mind, as we have all heard, responds to suffering beings. So reflecting on ourselves in this way, on our practice, is what Suzuki Roshi calls Buddha's mind. Buddha's mind responds to suffering beings. The big mind.

[32:42]

that includes everything without exception. The mind that accepts our judgments without judgment, our selfishness without selfishness, our anger without anger. In other words, we cultivate that mind that doesn't mind itself at all. You know, please be my Guruji says that when we can just be ourselves, we can speak without thinking too much and without having a special purpose. We just then speak or act to express ourselves. That is complete self-respect. If you practice hard, you will be like a child. Just playing, just singing, just sitting, just this poem, just my talk. It does not mean not. We say that Zen is not something you can talk about. It is what you experience in the truest sense.

[33:44]

So again, from Sekito's poem, all the objects of the senses interact and yet do not. Interacting brings involvement, otherwise each keeps its place. A few weeks ago, a good friend, a teacher of mine named Janet Adler and I did a workshop. We called it exploring the feminine, Zen and the discipline of authentic movement. It's great fun. And she said during that workshop that for her, concentration, or what we call samadhi, is an act of devotion. Paying attention as an act of devotion. I really like that. So I would say that this is the same for Zen. As we pay attention to our bodies, our feelings, our thoughts, throughout the multitude of transformations that take place in any given moment, any given day, we are truly reclaiming our life, moment by moment, as an act of devotion.

[34:50]

And it can only happen right now because Buddha is always here, right now. And yet sometimes we need that risk in the face or a light tap on the head to notice the distinction we're making between some intellectual understanding and the actual experience that we are having right now. Just as in the story of Sekito's awakening which arrived at two stages, it was only at the second stage that Sekito knew for sure who he was and what he was here on this earth to do. As Jiryu said in his Sunday talk a week or so ago, he had opened the overstuffed can of his mind, took out all of the gunk, and suddenly knew for himself the vast emptiness out of which he, his teacher, the sky and the land were all arising. And he knew in that very moment that this was true awakening, the stage of being, being alive, being connected, being present,

[36:03]

in this world as a blessing. In this talk, number four, Suzuki Roshi teaches that we humans are always tying ourselves to a truth that we can figure out, an intellectual truth. And yet it's when we go beyond what we can figure out, beyond the world of subjects and objects, of me over here and all of you over there, we enter the world of connectivity, in which everything, just as it is, is it. The world in which everything is included in our mind, our big mind, that has no reference points at all. A mind that is not disturbed by notions of time, place, persons, or things. He calls this the mind of Zazen, just sitting, No mind at all.

[37:05]

In Zaza, our mind and things are one. Just as the Buddha and the morning star were one. And as all of us in the universe are one. But here's a tricky part. If I think my mind and the universe are one, that is so. If I think, over there are some things outside of myself, that is so. Even though I think such things, still, everything is included in my mind. Then he goes on to use the example of the Plujais squawking about the library at Tassajara, where we are trying to study Zen. Noise, he says, is something that is objective. What's that terrible noise? As if it is outside of my mind. Sound, on the other hand, is something that comes from inside our practice.

[38:10]

So when I hear the bird, I'm not listening to the bird. The bird is here in my mind already, and I am singing with the bird. If the sound disturbs me, then the sound is noise. If I am not disturbed, then the blue jay comes right into my heart. And I will be the blue jay, and the blue jay will be reading something and not disturbing my studies. What this is pointing out is how the harmony of difference and equality is harmonized. It's not by getting rid of differences of noise or by merging into oneness, nor is it by ignorance of the independent nature of all things, of their uniqueness. It is by understanding that both things are true. Although things are interrelated, interdependent, at the same time, each thing is the boss, wholly unique and independent.

[39:15]

The boss includes everything. There's nothing outside to compare. You are just you. Bird is bird, fish is fish, dog is dog. And if there's only one thing, and that one thing includes everything, what is to compare? Who can be compared to you? No two things are the same, and therefore each thing has its own absolute value. And even though we each have absolute value, like a steep cliff that cannot be climbed, we are also related to each other in countless ways. These are the two sides of one truth. So what this means is that we need to understand things in two ways, as interdependent and as independent.

[40:18]

And although this interdependency goes on and on, including everything and everywhere throughout time, things stay in their own place. Suzuki Roshi then says, this is the main point of the Sanlukai. The blue jay is just the blue jay. And at the same time, is the whole world singing. And so are we all.

[40:45]

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